Sidhedevil October 24, 2010 6:48 AM   Subscribe

With Sidhedevil's permission, this is a post about Sidhedevil and her father.

If you happen to have checked her comment feed in the last several months, you might have wondered why a Mefite who's posted thousands of comments to MeFi and AskMe made zero comments for most of this year (even as she continued her amazing Twitter project of tweeting a book review a day).

I saw the other day that Sidhedevil had started commenting again. I welcomed her back and asked why.

She told me: she had been caring for her father.

James Sullivan died on October 13. He was 82. "Dad died very peacefully last night, a little before 9 p.m. We will miss him."

Here is the obituary. "Jim was a poet, playwright, and historian, author of American Town: Barre, Massachusetts 1774-1974 and In Order of Appearance: 400 Poems. For more than thirty years, he published a poem each week in his local newspaper, the Barre Gazette."

Here is a collection of his poems, including a Requiem.
posted by John Cohen to MetaFilter-Related at 6:48 AM (92 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

Looks like a lot of these poems are about death and loss, and also that they are quite good.

NO TASTE FOR MELANCHOLY by James Sullivan


No taste for melancholy, not
While there is someone kneeling at
A birdbath, putting flowers in
The earth which feels the sun and wind.
While there are things good people love
Available, no moment of
Remembrance should be only sad
Despite the fact that what we have
Is less when someone loved has gone
Or rather, we now know, passed on
Beyond this fragrant time and place
To where there is a greater grace
Than lovely weather and a day
Such as we only know in May.


I'm going outside now for a bit to look at some leaves. Thanks for posting.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:00 AM on October 24, 2010 [15 favorites]


I'm so sorry, Sidhedevil. Your father sounds like a truly remarkable man.
posted by jennyjenny at 7:01 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by bilabial at 7:19 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by wierdo at 7:30 AM on October 24, 2010


I was just wondering a few days ago where she had gone. She's one of my favorite people here on Metafilter -- always witty, always sharp -- and I'm happy to see she's back, but I'm sorry that it's under these sad circumstances. Thanks for the update.
posted by Frobenius Twist at 7:40 AM on October 24, 2010


Sidhedevil, I have missed you. I am sorry about your father. I have always wondered about Barre MA since I live so close to Barre VT. I'll make a donation to the library in your dad's name.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:43 AM on October 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Thanks for posting this.
posted by Forktine at 7:45 AM on October 24, 2010


Thanks, you guys. I am really touched.

I will miss my dad so much, but I am not sorry to be done with what was an exhausting caregiving journey. And y'all can expect me to be as eager an advocate of hospice services now as I have been of therapy and balsamic vinegar in the past--those people are incredible.
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:50 AM on October 24, 2010 [11 favorites]


Also, my cousin's thoughts might interest our fellow baseball fans...
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:55 AM on October 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


/comfort
posted by ServSci at 8:08 AM on October 24, 2010


My mother was in hospice for three years (typically they put you in hospice when you have less than 6 months to live, but my mom kept surprising people).

Hospice care is some of the best stuff on Earth if you need it. It allowed my mother to stay in her home with dignity clear until the end. It's also the only reason I am still sane.

Sorry for your loss.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:12 AM on October 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry for your loss. We are here for you, as always.

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posted by iamkimiam at 8:26 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by ColdChef at 8:31 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by sonika at 8:37 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by Countess Elena at 8:37 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by ChrisR at 8:39 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by hermitosis at 8:41 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 8:46 AM on October 24, 2010


I'm so sorry about your dad and the hard road you all have had for the past year. So happy to see you back, though! We missed you!
posted by onlyconnect at 9:03 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by Rory Marinich at 9:03 AM on October 24, 2010


I'm sorry to hear this and am also glad to have you back.
posted by heyho at 9:11 AM on October 24, 2010


I also noted her absence and return. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

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posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:16 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:25 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by kthxbi at 9:27 AM on October 24, 2010


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I agree with those advocating hospice -- my father came to it too late, as a lot of people do, but I know that his last few days were the best they could have been under the horrific circumstances.

My thoughts are with you, and my true sorrow for your loss.
posted by ltracey at 9:34 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by LobsterMitten at 9:34 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by clavdivs at 9:41 AM on October 24, 2010


I too was wondering where she had gone. I'm sorry for your loss, Sidhedevil.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 9:53 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by grouse at 10:13 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by MythMaker at 10:21 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by bardophile at 10:25 AM on October 24, 2010


I missed you too, Sidhedevil--always kinda wondered what happened to ya. My condolences; it sounds like your father was a wonderful, interesting man who accomplished lots of great things in life.
posted by ifjuly at 10:27 AM on October 24, 2010


My condolences
posted by rosswald at 10:32 AM on October 24, 2010


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Take care of yourself Sidhedevil
posted by msali at 10:43 AM on October 24, 2010


I've missed you around here, and I'm glad you're back.

I was my mom's caregiver, and I'm deeply familiar with the weird mixture of grief and relief. My most heartfelt condolences to you.
posted by rtha at 10:46 AM on October 24, 2010


I woke up crying from a dream this morning. It was about my Dad, and he was asking me to help him get ready to go have a visit with friends in Wells. He was partially dressed, and looked so handsome. I started to cry, and say, Dad, don't go, it's a long way and in my dream-mind I was thinking and you're too frail and I don't want anything to happen to you.

I'm so, so sorry for your loss, Sidhedevil. Another bright light has gone out.

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posted by Grlnxtdr at 10:53 AM on October 24, 2010


That poem that Potomac Avenue posted is lovely. A beautiful legacy.
posted by torticat at 11:12 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by stoneweaver at 11:17 AM on October 24, 2010


My condolences, Sidhedevil. You've always been one of the more welcome presences here, and I'm glad you're back. Hang in there.
posted by languagehat at 11:33 AM on October 24, 2010


My condolences on your loss.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 11:59 AM on October 24, 2010


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posted by Sticherbeast at 12:00 PM on October 24, 2010


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I have missed you, too.
posted by restless_nomad at 12:04 PM on October 24, 2010


Sincerest condolences.
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posted by readery at 12:06 PM on October 24, 2010


Love to you & your family.

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posted by IndigoRain at 12:31 PM on October 24, 2010


sorry for your loss and understand the mixed emotions, be well
posted by edgeways at 12:57 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 1:10 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by immlass at 1:26 PM on October 24, 2010






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posted by 1000monkeys at 1:41 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by ellieBOA at 1:47 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by palmcorder_yajna at 2:07 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by epersonae at 2:10 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by amyms at 2:21 PM on October 24, 2010


I noted your absence and am glad to hear that you're back.

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posted by arnicae at 2:46 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 2:59 PM on October 24, 2010


Sorry for your loss, and welcome back.

(Wow, it's a small internet: we have friends in common on LJ....)
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 3:03 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by juv3nal at 3:03 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by Jofus at 3:37 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by dealing away at 3:45 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by jasper411 at 3:52 PM on October 24, 2010


Sorry for your loss and welcome back! Much love to you and yours....
posted by Lynsey at 3:56 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:34 PM on October 24, 2010


And welcome back, Sidhedevil.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:34 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by bakerina at 5:11 PM on October 24, 2010


Missed you Sidhedevil - glad you're back! Our thoughts are with you - your father sounded like an amazing man.

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posted by garnetgirl at 5:29 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by Kangaroo at 5:31 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by typewriter at 5:31 PM on October 24, 2010


Touched by your dad's words, and by those of your friends here. Welcome back.

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posted by ottereroticist at 5:51 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by toodleydoodley at 6:01 PM on October 24, 2010


my condolences
posted by caddis at 6:30 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by scottymac at 6:41 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by white_devil at 6:42 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by shiny blue object at 6:58 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by davejay at 7:10 PM on October 24, 2010


So sorry for your loss.
posted by gomichild at 7:36 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by spinifex23 at 7:49 PM on October 24, 2010


Vale James Sullivan.
posted by taff at 8:01 PM on October 24, 2010


good job, Sidhedevil, and welcome back
posted by Meatbomb at 9:11 PM on October 24, 2010


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posted by goshling at 1:40 AM on October 25, 2010


"Grief is the rope burns left behind when what we have held to most dearly is pulled out of reach, beyond our grasp."

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posted by allkindsoftime at 1:44 AM on October 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


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posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:45 AM on October 25, 2010


Sorry to hear about your loss Sidhedevil. And I'll toss another Welcome Back into the thread.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:31 AM on October 25, 2010


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posted by roll truck roll at 11:12 AM on October 25, 2010


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posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:31 AM on October 25, 2010


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posted by thejanna at 12:28 PM on October 25, 2010


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What a blessing that his words give us a taste of the flavor of his world.
posted by Madamina at 12:43 PM on October 25, 2010


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posted by Tesseractive at 1:06 PM on October 25, 2010


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posted by teragram at 1:26 PM on October 25, 2010


My condolences, Sidhedevil.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 3:51 PM on October 25, 2010


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posted by heeeraldo at 9:00 PM on October 25, 2010


Hi, Sidhedevil. I'm so sorry. And I'm glad you're back.
posted by tangerine at 11:31 PM on October 25, 2010


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posted by marteki at 5:53 AM on October 26, 2010


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posted by cooker girl at 9:52 AM on October 27, 2010


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