Request For Complaints November 30, 2010 10:11 AM   Subscribe

Following the recent Complaints Choirs post, I thought it would be a cute idea to sort out our very own Metafilter Complaints Choir. There's a few of us on it now, but it would be great if you contributed as well.

We're currently at the stage of collecting complaints for the lyrics, hence this post requesting more: as with the meatspace incarnations of this project, the more complaints that are submitted, the better the result will be.

Once we have some lyrics, the plan is to write a song, arrange it, and then, by the magic of the internet, invite as many people as possible to take part in recording it - once there's a backing track it's just a question of getting people to submit vocal takes recorded either at their's or at some other local friendly MeFite's, and finally mixing them all up into one big choir. Simples. Well, ish.

Before submitting complaint lyric suggestions, please see cortex's comment on the whole thing, the key paragraph of which follows:

I would also very strongly suggest [cortex writes], in part for for diplomatic/good-will reasons and partly just for the sake of scansion and rhyme, that we focus on archetypical or paraphrased complaints independent of any specific complainer. I'd rather this be a funny collection of various (and probably at time self-contradicting, such is mefi) complaints that everybody will recognize for the content of the complaint than something that treads into "hey remember when THIS GUY said THIS THING" territory.

Later we'll need categories: current suggestions for categories include "mefi related", "non-mefi related", and "get off my lawn", but this is liable to be improved as complaints mount up.

To submit suggestions for complaints, please post them either here or over at the MeMu post linked above.

Thank you in advance. Please get off my lawn.
posted by motty to MetaFilter-Related at 10:11 AM (133 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

This is not the best of the web
posted by The Whelk at 10:16 AM on November 30, 2010


The Whelk you are wrong
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:18 AM on November 30, 2010


Double.
posted by klangklangston at 10:19 AM on November 30, 2010


(Rory missed the joke.)
posted by klangklangston at 10:19 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's okay, I'm used to being silenced all my life.
posted by The Whelk at 10:21 AM on November 30, 2010 [4 favorites]


Film at eleven.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:21 AM on November 30, 2010


I saw this on Reddit.
posted by The Whelk at 10:22 AM on November 30, 2010


oops
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:23 AM on November 30, 2010


Is this something I would need an Internet connection to understand?
posted by Zed at 10:23 AM on November 30, 2010


Don't call me @ username.

(Now I can't stop singing this to that Pearl Jam song.)

posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:24 AM on November 30, 2010


Silverlight? Eat me.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:28 AM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]


Man, it pissed me off when That Guy said That Thing.

Are you sure we can't use that?
posted by Joe Beese at 10:30 AM on November 30, 2010


Actually a full song of just cortex's deletion reasons would be pretty great.

Wait. I mean it would SUCK and you are UGLY.
posted by DU at 10:30 AM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]


LOLJUGGALOS
posted by Burhanistan at 10:30 AM on November 30, 2010


I think a good complaint is that MeFi Music is blocked here at the office. Damn you, the man!
posted by pointystick at 10:33 AM on November 30, 2010


USian-centric video content? WHAT PART OF WORLD WIDE WEB DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
posted by Burhanistan at 10:34 AM on November 30, 2010 [3 favorites]


favorites are ruining the site.
posted by The Whelk at 10:34 AM on November 30, 2010


The chorus has to be:

FIAMO
Take it to MeTa
posted by DU at 10:37 AM on November 30, 2010


I can't tell what color the background on music is.
posted by Ahab at 10:40 AM on November 30, 2010


PepsiBlue browser resizing flash-based monstrosity.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:40 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


Not best of the web.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:43 AM on November 30, 2010


I'll repost my comment from the Music thread here. I've collated some verbatim complaints from old threads into one verse and a chorus:

Okay, so I've started collecting some notable complaints and putting them in rhyming couplets (some are half-rhymes, but I quite like rhyming "discuss" and "pissfest.") These are verbatim, mostly from MetaTalk, but some from the Blue. I tried to keep the complaints MeFi centric.

Sadly, the education of the youth of amerika is declining in more than one way.
My FPP was deleted today
Lofi is showing a cold fusion error if you are not logged in.
The MeFi Wiki appears to be spammed, Captain.
What you think I am saying is not actually what I have said
Stop pissing all over the threads
MetaFilter is now neither meta nor a filter. Discuss.
Is there a point to this other than to encourage a pissfest?
In this thread, there is some horrifically bad advice
Too much hate. Why can't people just be nice?

Chorus:

WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
MATT.
fuck you, you make me angry and you're stupid too, GRAR

Oh, and clearly "Note: Everyone needs a hug" should be a coda or a descant or something
posted by Kattullus at 10:43 AM on November 30, 2010 [5 favorites]


This doesn't even belong on Metatalk.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:43 AM on November 30, 2010


Look at these assholes.
posted by Gator at 10:44 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


Why are you fascists censoring my harsh condemnation of that stupid AskMe poster?
posted by Burhanistan at 10:44 AM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]


Think Queen's Bohemian Rapsody, the "No No No no no!" but with GRAR GRAR GRAR GRAR GRAR!
posted by The Whelk at 10:45 AM on November 30, 2010 [3 favorites]


And I don't want a bloody pony, I want Seabiscuit!
posted by Ahab at 10:46 AM on November 30, 2010


Women suck, amirite?
Men suck, amirite?
Christians suck, amirite?
Republicans suck, amirite?
Democrats suck, amirite?
Obama sucks, amirite?
Palin sucks, amirite?
Cops suck, amirite?
Juggalos suck, amirite?

(I am imagining this being some sort of grungy, rapped bridge in the middle of the song.)
posted by Gator at 10:47 AM on November 30, 2010 [4 favorites]


Chatfilter deletions suck
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 10:47 AM on November 30, 2010


This request for complaints is bad and you should feel bad for making it.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:47 AM on November 30, 2010


Everybody is too politically correct.
Everybody is too nice.
The moderation is too heavy-handed!
Metafilter was so much better back in [some time before the present].
posted by kmz at 10:47 AM on November 30, 2010


This time, I'm really done with this thread.
posted by Drastic at 10:47 AM on November 30, 2010


Metafilter doesn't do this topic well.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:51 AM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]


The chorus has to be:

FIAMO
Take it to MeTa


Nah, the last line. "Flag and move o-o-o-on" to the fake-bluesy "and ma-ny mo-o-o-o-ore" melody.
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:53 AM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]


Did you even read what I wrote?
Stop derailing
You are not a special snowflake
Isn't this the third time we've seen this in a month?
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 10:57 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


There are too many comments on this post already so I'm not going to read them, but this is not the best of the web.
posted by tzikeh at 10:57 AM on November 30, 2010


Being censored all one's life.

Lack of respect for SCIENCE!

The comments I think are funniest don't get enough favorites.

Sometimes people add me as a contact and I don't know why.

Other people have funnier usernames than I do.

People who are experts in a subject can get shouted down in AskMe.

Many people are not lawyers or doctors.

Some people are lawyers or doctors but give things that are not medical or legal advice.

People don't read the thread before commenting.

People complain when I don't read the thread before commenting.

I don't actually want a hug.

There aren't enough meet-ups.

People schedule meet-ups and then don't go to them.

The background is insufficiently professional.

I still don't know what taters are.

The best way to be recognized is to be loud and opinionated but I want to be respectful.

I still have no been asked to be a mod even though I am pretty sure that I am great.

I seriously thought that Marissa Stole the Precious Thing was a woman for like a year (this is about a specific user but it is an affectionate aside and not a negative thing so I thought it might be okay and also pretty universal).

I can't post chatty shit when I'm drunk.

People try to post chatty shit when they're drunk.

There aren't enough MetaFilter t-shirts.

They never made a MetaFilter t-shirt about how I actually know more about this than I think you can imagine.

I don't know how to approach people in life if I get a general vibe that they might be MeFites but don't really know.

People look at you like you are insane if you ask "Are you a friend of Jessamyn?"

Some people pronounce "MeFite" wrong (Meeeee-Fight).

Some days I don't get any work done because of MetaFilter.

Some days not enough is posted on MetaFilter and I get bored at work.

Sometimes people post things that are so funny that I have to bite my hand to keep from laughing really loudly and disturbing the people around me and it is distracting.

My hand hurts from biting it to keep from laughing.

I don't know if the references I make are too common or too obscure.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:59 AM on November 30, 2010 [5 favorites]


Stop posting dots in obit threads.
posted by Gator at 11:00 AM on November 30, 2010


Needs more Lady Gaga
posted by charles kaapjes at 11:02 AM on November 30, 2010


Oh also sometimes I go to tell my husband or roommate about something really interesting and they're like "oh, yeah, I saw that on MetaFilter too" and I realize that that's also where I got it and they aren't impressed with my fascinating story.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 11:03 AM on November 30, 2010 [4 favorites]


I've never heard of this band or singer so there's really no reason for this post to exist.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:03 AM on November 30, 2010


our very own Metafilter Complaints Choir
♪ ♫
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred bitches
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred groans and complaints
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred bitches
How do you measure, measure Meta?

In flameouts, in deletions
In snark and in closed accounts
In flounces and bans and hand amputations
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred bitches
How do you measure complaints on MeFi? ♪ ♫
posted by octobersurprise at 11:05 AM on November 30, 2010 [7 favorites]


This place is such a boyzone, women aren't respected here.

Certain words offend me and lower the decorum of the site, please stop using them.

I am familiar with this user's posting history and they are generally full of GRAR and should think about walking away from the computer and getting some sun.

I know this user is a sock puppet for another user but am not allowed to point that out in the thread and that makes me frustrated.
posted by sarahnade at 11:07 AM on November 30, 2010


Answer the question that they asked.

Flagged.
posted by Ahab at 11:08 AM on November 30, 2010


lessee here -- people complain here about...

Did you even read the link? -- It's "its," not "it's." -- Vegans take themselves too reriously. --USians think they're the only people who matter -- There should be a way to edit your own comments!-- Why do you still refuse to answer my one simple question? -- I guess I'm just not politically correct enough for this crowd -- If I had a low userID number I bet it would have been okay -- This place used to be so much better.
posted by longsleeves at 11:13 AM on November 30, 2010


favorites are ruining the site.

that's not a real experiment where is your lab coat huh? did you think of that?
posted by enn at 11:15 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


YHBT. HAND.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:16 AM on November 30, 2010


Useless if it's not in 3D
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 11:17 AM on November 30, 2010


Would it hurt you to use a (via)?
Don't make assumptions about anyone's gender.
Shut up about how you hate hipsters, because you don't even know what hipsters are.
posted by 23skidoo at 11:19 AM on November 30, 2010


There is a contact form for a reason.
posted by zizzle at 11:19 AM on November 30, 2010


Copyrighted material is just a buggy whip. Get with the times.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:21 AM on November 30, 2010


i want a PPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:24 AM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]


I've got a few! Totally in.
posted by By The Grace of God at 11:28 AM on November 30, 2010


Did any of you people bother to follow the links?




I am not as clever as other people, but I really want to be.
posted by nickmark at 11:30 AM on November 30, 2010


I'm back.

I still don't understand why my comment was deleted.
posted by Drastic at 11:31 AM on November 30, 2010


This has nothing to do with the complaints choir, but I was amused by The Whelk's thought of GRAR GRAR GRAR GRAR GRAR in Bohemian Rhapsody. I don't think it makes much sense, but it was an amusing way to spend ten minutes. Whether or not this fits the meter of the original depends a lot on how things are pronounced.

I see a little self-link of a post
FIAMO, FIAMO, will you take it to MeTa?
Banhammer and flaming, very, very frightening me
(MetaFilter) Metafilter (Metafilter) Metafilter, Metafiler mathowie
Magnifico-o-o-o-o

I'm just a poor user nobody loves me
He's just a poor user who is quoting science
Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Easy come, easy go, will you let me SEO?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you SEO
Let him SEO
Bismillah! We will not let you SEO
Let him SEO
Bismillah! We will not let you SEO
Let me SEO (Will not let you SEO)
Let me SEO (Will not let you SEO) (Never, never, never, never)
Let me SEO, o, o, o, o, o
GRAR GRAR GRAR GRAR GRAR
(Oh jessamyn, jessamyn) jessamyn, let me SEO
Banhammer has the cortex put aside for me, for me, for me!

posted by never used baby shoes at 11:49 AM on November 30, 2010 [16 favorites]


Does that scansion mean that you're pronouncing SEO as "syoh"? Because, dude, awesome.
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:53 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


(It's going to be sort of sad when somebody tries to really complain about something in this thread. And by sort of sad I mean really funny.)
posted by kmz at 11:53 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


My head seems to be writing an original melody for this, useful, it should be working on job apps.
posted by By The Grace of God at 12:02 PM on November 30, 2010


LOL XIANS
LOL REPUBLICANS
LOL LIBRULS
posted by unSane at 12:08 PM on November 30, 2010


anecdotes are not data
posted by unSane at 12:09 PM on November 30, 2010


Fixed That For You!
posted by JoanArkham at 12:10 PM on November 30, 2010


Relationshipfilter is boring and I think it should be deleted from AskMe because I don't like it.

Too many people post relationship questions and then they don't even want to take the flawless advice we give them!!!! They just want to do what they wanted to do in the first place!!!!
posted by so_gracefully at 12:15 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


Is this question for real?
posted by Drastic at 12:21 PM on November 30, 2010


what
posted by The Whelk at 12:21 PM on November 30, 2010


this
posted by The Whelk at 12:22 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


really?
posted by The Whelk at 12:22 PM on November 30, 2010


GYOFB
posted by Burhanistan at 12:23 PM on November 30, 2010


special snowflake.
posted by futz at 12:23 PM on November 30, 2010


Stop saying SLYT if you have more links under the fold.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:25 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


all you people do is complain
posted by The Whelk at 12:27 PM on November 30, 2010


haters gonna hate
posted by Burhanistan at 12:32 PM on November 30, 2010


Take it to Metachat.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:42 PM on November 30, 2010


they're not using askme in good faith

they marked the wrong best answer
posted by the young rope-rider at 12:45 PM on November 30, 2010



My life experience isn't anything like the OP's so they must be a troll or liar.
posted by futz at 1:04 PM on November 30, 2010


really? wut, amirite? seriously.
posted by futz at 1:05 PM on November 30, 2010


Maybe not exactly complaints, but just brainstorming complaint-like things people say a lot in Askme or relating to Askmes:

-Did you even google this?
-This would be getting such different answers if a woman/man posted it.
-Don't listen to any of these answers, what you need is to contact a competent attorney in your jurisdiction.
-Stop reading this right now and go to the ER!
-Maybe you should search the archives for the thousand times your question has been asked before.
-We won't answer your question until you tell us if you used our advice from last time.
-You must be a troll; this question can't be real.

-'Faved' is a terrible word (you could probably pull a dozen complaints just about this for a pile-on over-singing effect)

hoppitamoppita
posted by LobsterMitten at 1:06 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


-OP is only marking best answers that agree with what they want to hear.
posted by LobsterMitten at 1:07 PM on November 30, 2010


Oooh, yeah. Hoppitamoppita has to be in there.
posted by JoanArkham at 1:09 PM on November 30, 2010


Boyzone.

Please don't say
  • retarded
  • gay
  • cunt
  • spastic
  • Doughnut,
    some people may find it offensive.

    You're all too sensitive! They're just words.

    Favorites are ruining MetaFilter.

  • posted by charred husk at 1:09 PM on November 30, 2010


    Mods are complaining that we're wrecking their Christmas
    All the deletion reasons are so passive aggressive
    Nobody can talk about controversy
    I've been silenced all my life
    I read this on 4chan a fortnight ago
    posted by By The Grace of God at 1:18 PM on November 30, 2010


    Where is my pony! I want my pony! Where is my pony!

    Your favorite thing sucks!
    posted by Sidhedevil at 1:26 PM on November 30, 2010


    This thread is useless without images.
    posted by ardgedee at 1:30 PM on November 30, 2010


    Why are you getting so angry at words on a screen?
    posted by bakerina at 2:09 PM on November 30, 2010


    Nobody spouses me!

    That content isn't available outside the USA!
    posted by angiep at 2:39 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


    I cannot answer this question because you forgot to include a picture of your cat.

    I know, benign and cute as "complaints" go but it always makes me laugh.
    posted by Eyebrows McGee at 2:59 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


    Does that scansion mean that you're pronouncing SEO as "syoh"?

    That's how it works in my head.
    posted by never used baby shoes at 3:26 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


    Correlation does not equal causation.

    This is a bad post and you are bad for making it.

    Stop blaming the victim.

    Fanboi/Boyzone/Sheeple/Apple apologist/Microsoft flunkie.
    posted by misha at 3:39 PM on November 30, 2010


    Why is dick okay, but not cunt?
    posted by unSane at 3:43 PM on November 30, 2010


    Where is my three-minuted edit window?
    posted by unSane at 3:43 PM on November 30, 2010


    It's spelled 'HELMET' not 'HELMUT'
    posted by unSane at 3:44 PM on November 30, 2010


    This is not what AskMe is for. This is a blog posting. MeFi is not your blog.
    posted by chairface at 3:50 PM on November 30, 2010


    No more pony pileons folks.
    That's what MetaFlake is for.
    Thanks.
    posted by Namlit at 4:11 PM on November 30, 2010


    Also: Snowflake, special, special snowflake etc. (free after Louis A. and his cheesecake)
    posted by Namlit at 4:13 PM on November 30, 2010


    Comments like yours are what's destroying this community.
    My side-comment is an amusing digression; yours is a derail; his is thread-shitting.
    posted by gingerest at 4:38 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


    Why aren't you banning that user who EVERYONE disagrees with?
    posted by Burhanistan at 4:39 PM on November 30, 2010


    This isn't on topic!

    This isn't off topic!

    You couldn't warn for spoilers?

    Why was MY comment deleted but not that OTHER person's comment?

    How come THIS post wasn't deleted but not THAT post?

    Mods need to give more context for why they delete posts!

    I'm not derailing!

    You're derailing!

    The FAQ has too much information in it.

    Please add this piece of information to the FAQ.

    Can't we add a sub-section to the site that's just like craigslist?

    Can't we add a sub-section to the site that's just for discussions about George Clooney? We could call it metaclooney.metafilter.com!

    Why don't FPPs stay open forever and ever and ever?

    Why was my ninth post about Sarah Palin deleted?
    posted by tzikeh at 4:40 PM on November 30, 2010


    UR DOING IT RONG!

    Stop using @! This is not Twitter!

    This is why we can't have nice things!
    posted by sonika at 4:46 PM on November 30, 2010


    Reasons for Deletions

    (To the tune of "Reasons to Be Cheerful" by Ian Dury & the Blockheads)


    Why don't you flag it and move on
    Why don't you flag it and move on
    Why don't you flag it and move on
    Why don't you flag it and move on
    Why don't you flag it and move on
    Why don't you flag it and move on
    Why don't you flag it and move on
    Why don't you flag it and move on


    Reasons for Deletions, Part 4

    1 2 3

    It's too spambloggy, Assange folly
    Good golly Miss Molly self-link
    linkfarmery junk, SLYT stunk,
    Resubmit with context, I think


    Post this stuff when it's out, this post is a double
    We've seen this link before long ago
    This isn't what site's for, your friend's blog is trouble,
    Editorialized front page post--no!

    [Et cetera...]
    posted by MonkeyToes at 5:03 PM on November 30, 2010 [4 favorites]


    You are harshing my general lifebuzz with your grar hoppitamoppita. Also your spelling is terrible.
    posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:15 PM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]


    I am willing to shout any of these phrases into a microphone FYI
    posted by The Whelk at 6:28 PM on November 30, 2010


    What about niggardly??
    posted by Drastic at 6:39 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


    hurf durf butter eater
    posted by unSane at 7:45 PM on November 30, 2010


    Oh yeah, well what about MALE circumcision!?
    posted by headspace at 8:43 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


    Someone to whom I am not married to has linked me in Contacts using the descriptor "Spouse."
    posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 2:26 AM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]


    you know what's great? to find that particular complaint, I googled the word "spousenating"
    posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 2:29 AM on December 1, 2010


    "This is not a good post for MetaFilter" doesn't mean what you think it means.
    posted by mahershalal at 5:51 AM on December 1, 2010


    Christ, what an asshole.
    posted by quin at 7:40 AM on December 1, 2010


    I'm not going to bother to read this thread before I say something that has already been said better, but listen up.
    posted by Burhanistan at 8:14 AM on December 1, 2010


    Pearl-clutching!
    posted by Sidhedevil at 9:18 AM on December 1, 2010




    No offense, but I think everything here has already been said.

    When can we post recipes?

    douche-bag

    non-metafilter related complaint "But I FEEL like I deserve a better grade."
    posted by miss-lapin at 9:53 AM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]


    I'm trying not to trot it out much anymore, so I won't post the full text, but maybe the joke MeTa complaint form (found in my profile) that I assembled this summer might generate some ideas? I'm particularly fond of these three complaints:

    [ ] Someone is trying to use guilt, ethics, or logic to make me behave more politely on the Internet.
    [ ] Somebody has accurately pointed out something awful I said or did.
    [ ] Other people misspell words to taunt me, I am certain of it.

    posted by .kobayashi. at 10:18 AM on December 1, 2010


    Women suck, amirite?
    Men suck, amirite?
    Christians suck, amirite?
    Republicans suck, amirite?
    Democrats suck, amirite?
    Obama sucks, amirite?
    Palin sucks, amirite?
    Cops suck, amirite?
    Juggalos suck, amirite?


    Oh, you are so sued.
    posted by Sys Rq at 11:08 AM on December 1, 2010


    MetaFilter Rhapsody

    Is this a good post?
    It's my first FPP:
    Declawing cats and downloading MP3s
    Let's circumcise
    Glenn Beck and the Tea Party

    I'm just a troll boy
    I spam MeFi's wiki
    Because I'm easy snark, easy hurf
    Little grar, little durf
    Any way the thread goes
    Doesn't really matter to me, to me

    Cortex, just banned a man
    Made a spammy self-link post
    SEO crap, now he's toast
    Cortex, that was my account
    But now you've gone and thrown it all away

    Jessamyn, ooh, ooh
    I'll take it to MeTa
    But I'll be back again this time tomorrow,
    Trolling on, trolling on, as if favorites really matter

    Too late, my comment's gone
    Cut my favorites count by nine
    Now won't get a sidebar line
    MeTa, everybody
    I've got to go
    Gonna spouse you all and then cut off my hand
    Cortex, ooooh (Any way the thread goes)
    I don't understand
    Sometimes wish I'd never left Digg at all

    [Guitar Solo]

    I see a little silhouetto of abbat
    Joe Beese, Joe Beese, will you post about Obama?
    Mathowie with banhammer, very very threatening me
    (Hoppita!) Hoppita! (Hoppita!) Hoppita! Hoppita Moppita!
    Vacapinta-a-a-a!

    I'm just a snowflake, with a special AskMe
    He's just a sockpuppet licking a battery
    Spare us our thread from his asshattery!

    Israel, Palestine, will you let me post?
    FIAMO! No, we will not let you post!
    Let him post!
    FIAMO! We will not let you post!
    Let him post!
    FIAMO! We will not let you post!
    Let me post! (Will not let you post)
    Let me post! (Will not let you post) (Never, never, never, never)
    Let me post!
    Grar, grar, grar, grar, grar, grar, grar!
    (Oh Matthew Haughey, Matthew Haughey) Matthew Haughey, What. The. Fuck?
    Sixcolors has an abortion question on AskMe, AskMe, AskMeeeee!

    So you don't get the joke about hardcore taters
    So you think we're all Apple and iPhone haters
    Oh, Blazecock, can't do this to me, Blazecock
    Just gotta flame out, just gotta flame right outta here

    [Guitar Solo]

    (Oooh yeah, Oooh yeah)

    What The Fuck Mathowie?
    Where is my pony?
    What The Fuck Mathowie?
    What The Fuck Mathowie . . . and PB?

    Any way the thread goes . . .

    [Gong]
    posted by mattdidthat at 3:17 PM on December 1, 2010 [22 favorites]


    someone please record this.

    Little grar, little durf!
    posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:23 PM on December 1, 2010


    We have a winner.
    posted by unSane at 5:00 PM on December 1, 2010


    Mattdidthat is the strongest bravest bestest person I know.
    posted by The Whelk at 5:11 PM on December 1, 2010


    That cannot possibly be bettered. We should just do it.
    posted by unSane 20 minutes ago [+]

    I AM JUST SAYING
    posted by The Whelk at 5:26 PM on December 1, 2010


    That Bohemian Rhapsody filk is great, and I'd love to hear a recording of it.

    However, the original idea of a Mefi Complaints Choir - following the original Complaints Choir thing - was something that anyone and everyone would be able to take part in the recording of, perhaps modulo access to a local friendly MeFite with a home studio. Given the difficulty of the tune, I don't see Bohemian Rhapsody being the Mefi Complaints Song - I was hoping for something more accessible to mass participation.

    There's no reason it shouldn't happen in addition, of course.

    With more filks, we could end up with a Metafilter Complaints Choir album. That would not be a bad thing.
    posted by motty at 5:36 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]


    Metafilter: The Lost Sessions.
    posted by The Whelk at 5:51 PM on December 1, 2010


    I want to do Tom Waits-y covers of 60s girl group songs
    posted by The Whelk at 5:51 PM on December 1, 2010


    Can there be a newsletter? That sentence makes me feel all newsletter-subscribey.
    posted by nebulawindphone at 8:57 PM on December 1, 2010


    What an interesting thread for you all.
    posted by iamkimiam at 11:16 PM on December 1, 2010 [2 favorites]


    motty, you are funny and clever. MetaFilter Rhapsody was made for a group sing-a-long...I can already hear different meet-up shout-outs of "We will not let you post!" But I'm also a weirdo and think a different MeFite should do every word of the song.

    Also, a bunch of people should do a version of, "You say MeFite, I say MeFite...let's call the whole thing out"
    posted by iamkimiam at 11:24 PM on December 1, 2010


    So you don't get the joke about hardcore taters
    So you think we're all Apple and iPhone haters
    Oh, Blazecock, can't do this to me, Blazecock
    Just gotta flame out, just gotta flame right outta here


    Keep holding that grudge, Matt.
    posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:45 AM on December 2, 2010


    I say this as someone who wrote an entire Bohemian Rhapsody parody about one user who was trolling a particular thread... it's not a very nice thing to write a song denigrating two specific users.
    posted by Kattullus at 4:04 AM on December 2, 2010


    Real complaint here...there is so much I love about MetaFilter Rapsody, but it would be closer to damn perfect if the lyrics were FTFY'ed to leave out the personalised sixcolors, BP, etc. refs.
    posted by iamkimiam at 4:08 AM on December 2, 2010


    Somebody owes somebody a coke!
    posted by iamkimiam at 4:08 AM on December 2, 2010


    I'm surprised mattdidthat's song wasn't deleted considering jessamyn's was the next comment in the thread.

    I also have to wonder how long before we see a few of those verses for sale on tshirts created by the lyricist himself.
    posted by gman at 4:50 AM on December 2, 2010


    I would suggest depersonalizing it too.

    One approach would be to find a really shitty Karaoke backing track for Bohemian Rhapsody and do it over that. I like the idea of a different MeFite getting each line. I can certainly put it all together given the raw materials.
    posted by unSane at 4:55 AM on December 2, 2010


    That is not a complaints choir song, that is a filk. Well we are nerds so I guess we would get a filk. I wanted a big hipstery whinge ;)
    posted by By The Grace of God at 6:55 AM on December 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


    Metafilter: A big hipstery whinge
    posted by unSane at 10:55 AM on December 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


    We almost had 24 hours without a Metatalk post!
    posted by Pronoiac at 5:26 PM on December 2, 2010


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