Thanks MeFites December 24, 2010 6:48 PM   Subscribe

Wherein, Its is written henceforth, we agree said submitter has only been a asshat half the time, we therefore allow him to say

Merry Christmas Metafilter,

without prejudice, and with a little extra love and barbeque sauce on the side. It's been a bad year, and you have always been in my corner. I thank about 115,000 people for that. Peace. ts
posted by timsteil to MetaFilter-Related at 6:48 PM (102 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

It was the worst year ever. But the gracious and insightful answers I found here helped me through the grief. I thank you. Merry Christmas, MeFites everywhere.
posted by MonkeyToes at 7:02 PM on December 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


It's been a mixed bag of a year. But may all of you enjoy the seasonal ritual of your choice.
posted by jonmc at 7:27 PM on December 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Note: Everyone needs a hug.
posted by ColdChef at 7:35 PM on December 24, 2010 [6 favorites]


Merry Christmas, you wonderfully salted and fried taters!
posted by nomadicink at 7:40 PM on December 24, 2010




<3
posted by PercussivePaul at 8:07 PM on December 24, 2010


I love this place! Season's Greetings and Merry Christmas everyone!
posted by MultiFaceted at 8:16 PM on December 24, 2010


Happy holidays one and all. I learn so much from this place on so many levels. One couldn't ask for a better bunch of minds and personalities to carouse with and share stories and thoughts. Thanks for being there Metafilter, when it seemed like this year was going to go off a cliff. And sometimes did. But that's okay. Cos I'm okay. I think. and hopefully so are you. (help. I can't stop typing....) everyone's okay, right? And is going to stay okay.

All of us..one for all and...blurgaty blurgaty bloo...

MErry Christmaases!!

...

Whoa...
posted by Skygazer at 8:23 PM on December 24, 2010


snif...
posted by Skygazer at 8:24 PM on December 24, 2010 [1 favorite]




I HATE HUG EVERY ONE OF YOU.
posted by eyeballkid at 8:41 PM on December 24, 2010 [10 favorites]


Merry Chracidmas
posted by mannequito at 8:43 PM on December 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Open arms 2011.
posted by buzzman at 8:44 PM on December 24, 2010


May all your parachutes open, or at least, appear to open.
posted by Opus Dark at 9:01 PM on December 24, 2010 [6 favorites]


May this season, may these days be kind to you all. Celebrate in the ways you know and love...

This place is near and dear to me... as many of your are, though we have never met in the great big out there.

Cheers to each and every one of you, and all.
posted by PROD_TPSL at 9:04 PM on December 24, 2010



posted by Cranberry at 9:11 PM on December 24, 2010


This year has been spectacularly horrible and kind of wonderful, in turns. Mefites are included in the wonderful part.

Ok, back to drinking and watching the old family movies my mom spent the better part of the year digitizing and editing.
posted by mollymayhem at 9:11 PM on December 24, 2010


It's been a bumpy year, rough and often confusing. But just as Christmas is a bright spot in a dark season, so MeFi is a bit of warmth and peace in nearly every one of my days. May 2011 be that year for which you've always hoped.
posted by donnagirl at 9:13 PM on December 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


Merry Christmas to all, and to all: your favorite band sucks.
posted by bondcliff at 9:13 PM on December 24, 2010 [7 favorites]


Merry Christmas!
I want to buy everyone a bunker and blooms of reason sticks -horehound photons traversing above the cackle of small arms fire. 17 months.
hello uncle

posted by clavdivs at 9:16 PM on December 24, 2010 [4 favorites]


.
posted by crunchland at 9:47 PM on December 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Merry Christmas and all that good stuff, everyone.
posted by mattdidthat at 9:56 PM on December 24, 2010


Merry Christmas, blessed solstice, and a happy and auspicious 2011 to one and all.
posted by blucevalo at 10:06 PM on December 24, 2010


Happy Chrimbus!
posted by Burhanistan at 10:53 PM on December 24, 2010


Merry Solsticetide!
posted by Pallas Athena at 10:57 PM on December 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Jingle bells, jingle bells, MeFi all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
along with political discourse threads (hey!)

Jingle bells, jingle bells...

posted by Askiba at 11:01 PM on December 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


May the deity of your choice (or the non-denominational equivalent thereof) bring you a financially rewarding, emotionally uncomplicated, socially beneficial and constitutionally stress free winter festival. Or not.
posted by Jofus at 11:09 PM on December 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


I love you all.

/not eyeballkidist
posted by rtha at 11:21 PM on December 24, 2010 [4 favorites]


*Gets plastered, slobbers all over everyone, and passes out in Cortex's garage*.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 11:30 PM on December 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


It is now the month of December, when the greatest part of the city is in a bustle. Loose reins are given to public dissipation; everywhere you may hear the sound of great preparations, as if there were some real difference between the days devoted to Saturn and those for transacting business.

Happy Saturnalia and best wishes for your drunken Roman orgies!
posted by orthogonality at 11:39 PM on December 24, 2010 [4 favorites]


♬ We tweet you a Merry Christmas ♬
♬ We tweet you a Merry Christmas ♬
♫ And a Happy New Year! ♫
posted by DreamerFi at 11:40 PM on December 24, 2010


*picks PareidoliaticBoy's pockets, escapes on Cortex's lawnmower*
posted by nomadicink at 11:41 PM on December 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


Merry Hexmas and a Heathen New Year!
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:46 PM on December 24, 2010


Merry Christmas, you wonderful Mefites!
posted by IndigoRain at 11:51 PM on December 24, 2010


Reddit wished me Merry Christmas last week.
posted by NoraReed at 12:01 AM on December 25, 2010


Big deal. I was wishing people Merry Christmas years ago.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:04 AM on December 25, 2010


Merry Merry
posted by louche mustachio at 12:19 AM on December 25, 2010


Damn tough year that Metafilter has helped me through enormously. Seriously, I have been showered with good wishes, generous gifts, practical help, and out-and-out love from Mefites in my own neighborhood to literally halfway round the globe. I have been humbled by it all, and am more grateful than I can possibly say. Thank you, Mefi, for never letting me think that I've been alone through this... special thanks to Matt, Jess, Cortex, PB, and Vacapinta for running the coolest ship in the internet seas.

I wish everyone a very merry Christmas, and a new year full of peace and health for us all.
posted by scody at 12:20 AM on December 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


Yeah, I'll tell ya, it ain't easy sharing a birthday with the Loch Ness Monster. Growing up, my parents insisted throwing us a double birthday party every year. "But mom," I cried, "I hate sharing a birthday party with the Loch Ness Monster! He always gets the good gifts, and nobody ever pays attention to me! Can't one of us have our party on a different day this year?" "Now Afroblanco, you know we can't do that. It wouldn't be fair to you, and it wouldn't be fair to the Loch Ness Monster. And you know that money's been tight lately..." Of course, there'd be more money if we didn't have to take care of the Loch Ness Monster, but mom wouldn't hear any of that.

Every year, it would be the same. The Nessie-themed cake. The green ice cream. The same old party game where Nessie would jump into the pool and the kids would take turns with a telescope saying, "I see him! I see him! I see the Loch Ness Monster!" And of course, Nessie himself, shiteating grin on his face, prehistoric flippers flapping away happily. It was enough to make me not want to age another year, even if it meant I'd never learn how to drive.

I'll never forget my thirteenth birthday. My Bar Mitzvah! The happiest day in a young Jewish boy's life; the day he becomes a man in the eyes of the Jewish faith. "This year will be different", I thought, "There's no way Nessie will fuck this up. He wouldn't dare! Besides, technically he's a lizard, and I don't even think he's Kosher." So I prepared my Torah portion in earnest. I invited all my friends and family. We booked the snazziest room at the Marriott downtown.

Finally the big day arrived.

I walked into the sanctuary, resplendent in my new tallit and yarmulke. All my friends and family cheering me on. Proud looks on faces, tears from the eyes of the old ones. Finally, the center of attention! Approaching the stage, I noticed Miriam Kornbluth, the girl I'd been crushing on since summer camp. She actually showed up! I couldn't believe it! Maybe I'd finally get to kiss her! As I walked by, we made eye contact, and -- what was that? -- did she wink at me? Yes, she did! What a night it would be!

I walked out on stage and approached the podium. I thanked everyone for coming out to celebrate this joyous occasion. I cleared my throat and prepared to intone the ancient Hebrew. I looked out over the audience -- and stopped cold. Looking past the tables of relatives and well-wishers, I noticed a large area of the floor that had been cleared. NO. NO NO NO NO NO! I refused, REFUSED to accept this. He would not.... COULD NOT! Oh, but he did. 12 people in Marriott uniforms wheeled out a large tank, containing none other than the Loch Ness Monster, his head bedecked with a big red bow.

I tried to pretend it didn't happen. Tried to mask my seething anger. Tried to ignore the sound of two hundred people turning around to look at a 12-ton reptile. I looked down at the Torah, started reading the sacred text aloud -- and was interrupted. A voice cried out from the audience, "Look!" And then a young woman -- none other than Miriam Kornbluth -- stood up, a rolled-up program guide held up to her eye like a telescope. She shouted, "I see him! I see him! I see the Loch Ness Monster!" Raucous laughter from the audience. Joining in the familiar party game, one by one they stood up, fake telescopes in hand, shouting, "I see him! I see him! I see the Loch Ness Monster!"

And that was it. I'd had it. All the years of ruined birthday parties. All the days that SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE. And now this. I shouted, "DAMNIT, I'M TIRED OF NESSIE RUINING EVERYTHING! What about me!? What about me!? And for god's sake, stop calling him the Loch Ness Monster! He followed us home from Scotland, remember!? If anything, he should be the St. Louis Monster by now!"

I left the stage and ran from the room. I ran and ran and ran, out of the building, across bridges, over fields, through city streets. I ran and ran. Dejected, I found myself in a bad part of town, on the stoop of a shady-looking pawn shop. And I'm not too macho to admit this, but I cried. I was thirteen, miserable, and just had ANOTHER birthday ruined by the Loch Ness Monster. And right when I'd reached the depths of despair, I looked up. And what did I see in the window? A set of bagpipes, shining in the evening mist. And it was then that I realized what I had to do.

Fast-forward one year.

My fourteenth birthday party. Guests arriving. Music playing. A delightfully normal cake on the table, accompanied by non-green ice cream. I would be excited about the gift checks, except that my dad snatches them up before they even come into my hands. "No no, Afroblanco, you don't get any of this. You still owe the city $25,000 in damages, remember?" And that's after my Bar Mitzvah money had been applied to it! No matter; it was worth it. I smile at my dad, and he smiles back proudly and pats me on the head. "Go enjoy the party son. It's your day!"

I pour myself a glass of punch, and who do I see but Miriam Kornbluth? She runs up and plants a big, wet kiss on my cheek. "Happy birthday, to the best bagpipe player in all of St. Louis! We still on for the movies tomorrow?" I look into her eyes and give her my most mischeivious grin, "Of course!" We walk out onto the patio, arm in arm, and see the other kids playing in our (blessedly reptile-free) swimming pool. As I walk past my parents' friends, they stare at me like I'm some kind of exotic bird. I catch snatches of their conversation :

"... can't believe it!"
"... we thought it was here for good!"
"... who knew it had a weak spot for music?"
"... well, it's not like there's much bagpipe music in St. Louis ..."
"... and he learned how to play the bagpipes so well, how did he learn so fast?"
"... chased that Monster all the way to the Mississippi!"
"... do you believe the mess it made?"
"... it ran clear through buildings..."
"... crushed cars ..."
"... derailed trains ...."
"... stomped flowerbeds ..."
"... where do you think it is now?"
"... rumor has it, somewhere in Scotland..."
"... do you mean?"
"... yup.... back to Loch Ness..."
"... that's too bad, I was always rather fond of it..."
"... but have you seen Afroblanco lately? He's turning into such a fine young man!"
"... yes indeed, that boy has quite a future ahead of him!"

And that is why I never celebrate my birthday on May 12th, the anniversary of my natural birth. Instead, I will always host my birthday party on the 17th of March : St. Patrick's Day.
posted by Afroblanco at 12:23 AM on December 25, 2010 [14 favorites]


As an only occasional poster but long-time avid lurker, I say Merry Christmas Metafilter, to its mods and denizens. Thanks for being a good force in an uncertain world.
posted by chmmr at 12:23 AM on December 25, 2010


Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive,
gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within
the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or
secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all . . . and a fiscally successful,
personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not
to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is
the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of
computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is
subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no
alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to
actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void
where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the
wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance
of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wisher.)
posted by adamvasco at 12:29 AM on December 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


Buon Natale!
posted by francesca too at 12:30 AM on December 25, 2010


Stuff 2010. Let's turn next year up to 11!

*inappropriately tongue kisses everyone*
posted by gomichild at 12:31 AM on December 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's been a bad year

annus horribilis
posted by uncanny hengeman at 1:10 AM on December 25, 2010


Tim, the happiest of holidays to you and yours, and to all y'all folks out there in MefiLand.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:18 AM on December 25, 2010


May Santa bring you all everything you want, and nothing you need.

(Woo-hoo! Santa brought me exactly what I asked for, a revving alarm clock! Instead of beeping or buzzing, it revs repeatedly like a drag car, and then takes off with tyres screaming. Just what every newly-qualified stunt driver needs. I'm thrilled!)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:19 AM on December 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


everything you want, and nothing you need.

Hey! That reminds me of a song of mine!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:24 AM on December 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


I got exactly what I asked for: underpants. The old ones all had holes.
posted by pracowity at 2:34 AM on December 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Um, I think you're supposed to put your legs through those.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:46 AM on December 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


I had a good year, for the most part, despite a trip in an ambulance and my fucking CLIENTS NOT PAYING ME FOR THE LAST THREE MONTHS. Ahem.

So happy feast day to everyone. My bride thinks everyone here is crazy, and doesn't exclude me from that group, so...sad as this will make you...you're my peers. If you're ever lonely, just imagine I'm there, crouched behind the drapes.
posted by maxwelton at 3:02 AM on December 25, 2010


Um, I think you're supposed to put your legs through those.

Damn.
posted by pracowity at 3:20 AM on December 25, 2010


It was a great fucking year, and Metafilter had about as much to do with it as Lou Albano.

And yet I tip my beer to thee, jolly phantasms of thee Internets!
posted by Joseph Gurl at 4:03 AM on December 25, 2010


Merry Cthulhumas, MeFites. May your day be squamous and rugose.
posted by Zed at 4:15 AM on December 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


Happy holidays and general well-wishes! I live you guys as much as laboratory strain E. coli loves rich LB broth. (This is a compliment). If y'all are every in my part of the petridish, I will hook yo up with some great carbon and nitrogen.
posted by Peter Petridish at 4:18 AM on December 25, 2010


Happy holidays and general well-wishes! I love you guys as much as laboratory strain E. coli loves rich LB broth. (This is a compliment). If y'all are every in my part of the petridish, I will hook yo up with some great carbon and nitrogen.
posted by Peter Petridish at 4:19 AM on December 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


timsteil: that was one of my first jazz fests : ) that memory alone is enough to make me forgive any real or perceived asshattedness. just about the world over.

yeah. jazz fest is *that* good.
posted by msconduct at 4:20 AM on December 25, 2010


One of the advantages of living at GMT+11 is that I am among the first to see the implacable horror that is the Christmas deadline whoosh right on past. It's nearly midnight on Dec 25 here, I'm off to sleepy bo-boes, and it's OVER for another year! Huzzah!

Bah humbug to all, and to all a good night.

little ms flabdablet (5yo) had a fine time today. may all the littlies of those in tardier time zones do likewise.
posted by flabdablet at 4:27 AM on December 25, 2010


When I reflect on it, I'm not sure who I'd be at this point if I hadn't been reading Metafilter for, what, nine-ish years now (yeah, I took a while to sign up). Reading, and using that reading to spin myself off into other reading, and sharing what I read with my friends, and adjusting my opinions and having new ideas. All the beautiful stuff that gets brought here by MeFites, and passed around and hashed out, all the information and art and opinion and ...

I would be diminished. There's no place like this on the Internet, and I thank every one of you for that. Metafilter has and continues to make me a better person. I feel genuinely lucky to be here. Thank you all, and I wish you all a joyful and abundant midwinter-type time and the best of all possible new years.
posted by penduluum at 5:52 AM on December 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


.

My cheapass friend was looking to buy his parents cheap Christmas cards. So we were in Walmart, but that wasn't enough; he wanted something from the value bin.

There are no Christmas cards in the value bin during Christmastime. Pretty much all you've got are sympathy cards of varying stripes.

So he got a card that said "In the Loss of One Who Meant So Much." On the inside he scribbled: "We miss you Jesus."

Merry Christmas.
posted by Rory Marinich at 5:52 AM on December 25, 2010 [10 favorites]


I tried to go away again, and utterly failed 'cause y'all are too awesome. Happy birthday Afroblanco!
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:33 AM on December 25, 2010


Thanks, MeFites. Thefites.
posted by Evernix at 6:34 AM on December 25, 2010


i wanna foon you a schmoopy fishmas
from the bottom of my bucket of cocks
posted by Eideteker at 6:38 AM on December 25, 2010


Merry Christmas! To the most loveable bunch of scalawags it has been my privilege to hang out with on the dubya dubya dubya....may the coming year be cilantro free!
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:47 AM on December 25, 2010


Note
posted by hugbucket at 6:52 AM on December 25, 2010


WHY IS THERE A DRUNK MAN SLEEPING WHERE MY LAWNMOWER SHOULD BE
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:56 AM on December 25, 2010 [4 favorites]


Oh, and happy birthday Jesus!
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:02 AM on December 25, 2010


Well, this year I D'edTMFA, and all y'all provided laughs, tears and food for thought on many distracting topics. You helped me let my mind wander when it wanted to fixate! So, although I've not fully stepped in to the light quite, I do feel forward momentum, and Metafilter helped. Thank you and Merry to all.
posted by thinkpiece at 7:07 AM on December 25, 2010


Is this something you'd have to be a special snowflake to understand?

Happy HannuRamaKwaanzaFestiMas, everyone!
posted by MexicanYenta at 7:13 AM on December 25, 2010


Thank you Lord Jesus for blessing us with the return of hugbucket to commemorate your birthday.
posted by gman at 7:22 AM on December 25, 2010


Get off my lawn!!!
posted by TheBones at 7:29 AM on December 25, 2010


... Oh, and merry christmas
posted by TheBones at 7:30 AM on December 25, 2010


Yeah, it's been a rough year, but I can honestly say that getting back into MeFi has made it a little better, at least for me. MeFites are a peculiar people, and I mean that in the Biblical sense, which is to say that was a compliment, please put your pants back on.

Merry Christmas, gang.
posted by Gator at 7:39 AM on December 25, 2010


Merry Christmas
posted by MikeMc at 7:47 AM on December 25, 2010


please put your pants back on.

Oppressor.
posted by jonmc at 7:53 AM on December 25, 2010


WHY IS THERE A DRUNK MAN SLEEPING WHERE MY LAWNMOWER SHOULD BE

Dude, we didn't want to say anything, but you've been mowing your lawn with a drunk man for years now.
posted by Zed at 8:17 AM on December 25, 2010 [10 favorites]


Hugs for all! Merry Christmas!
posted by Harald74 at 8:34 AM on December 25, 2010


Belatedly, because it's been a big one, much love to you all.
posted by Ahab at 8:39 AM on December 25, 2010


Yay!
posted by Pronoiac at 8:55 AM on December 25, 2010


WHY IS THERE A DRUNK MAN SLEEPING WHERE MY LAWNMOWER SHOULD BE

Dude, we didn't want to say anything, but you've been mowing your lawn with a drunk man for years now.


It's alright. I don't really mind the taste of grass.
posted by Lutoslawski at 9:37 AM on December 25, 2010


My Golden Lucky blessings upon all of you posting in this thread. I love each and every one of you, unconditionally.
Well, except you, especially when you do that thing I've told you about.

It's been a bad year

No, no, not at all. You are looking at it the wrong way... it has been an excellent year, you just need enough perspective, just wait.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:42 AM on December 25, 2010


I need a website where everyone agrees with everything I say and it doesn't cost me 5 bucks to favourite my own comments. thanks.
posted by Trochanter at 9:47 AM on December 25, 2010


Maybe it's the lack of sleep, but "mowing your lawn with a drunk man" sounds like a euphemism to me.

Merry Christmas to all those that celebrate it. And to you others, happy Saturday! Or Sunday, depending on where you live.
posted by Gorgik at 9:52 AM on December 25, 2010


Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This getting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

And Merry Christmas!
posted by Splunge at 10:00 AM on December 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


This message will self-destruct.
posted by Gator at 10:01 AM on December 25, 2010


I've had better years. I realized recently that I am waiting for the year to change as if I will audibly sigh at midnight New Year's Eve and somehow will have averted a dastardly fate that might have come about if 2010 was allowed to to have a few extra days.

But with that realization is the certain fact that was nothing has been broke that can't be fixed, we plug on ahead with optimistic hearts and I have wonderful siblings, friends and mefites. And although you can't always get what you want, You Get What You Need.

Merry Christmas to all, with love and best wishes. Everybody should get that hug.
posted by readery at 10:03 AM on December 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


2010 was AWESOME for me, and I'm wicked sad to hear that this is not a universal truth - so I'll just hope that 2011 is as awesome for everyone else as '10 was for me and Dog Bless Us, Everyone and all of that.
posted by sonika at 10:05 AM on December 25, 2010


Happy Holidays to everyone here - I'm glad I joined up with y'all. It's been an interesting year.
posted by patheral at 10:08 AM on December 25, 2010


On reading the thread, a Special Seasonal Greeting to adamvasco, you Grinch!
posted by Splunge at 10:10 AM on December 25, 2010


We had a birth and a death this year. And the underpants.
posted by pracowity at 10:11 AM on December 25, 2010


      /\
     *\/*
    //\\/\
   //\/*\*\
    /*\//\    
   ///\*\\\
  /*\/\\/\\\
   /////\*\
  */\/*/\\\\
 //*///\\*\\*
*\\\//*\\//\/\
posted by nebulawindphone at 12:06 PM on December 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


Is it a hairy monster shambling towards us? The Beast With A Thousand Assholes?
posted by pracowity at 12:55 PM on December 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


I believe it is shambling away from us. Ick.
posted by Splunge at 12:59 PM on December 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's shambling inside of us. God bless us everyone.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:01 PM on December 25, 2010


No, it's ass jittering.
posted by nomadicink at 1:07 PM on December 25, 2010


MCTMFA

(Merry Christmas the MetaFilter Already)
posted by lekvar at 1:14 PM on December 25, 2010


‎*★MERRY★* 。。CHRISTMAS★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˚* _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•*/______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• | 田田|門| from My House to Yours!
posted by jgirl at 2:56 PM on December 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


One of your lights seems to have an intermittent failure. Please call Customer Support.

Hello, this is customer support. Your call is very important to us. Please hold.

As this is the holiday season, all of our Light Specialist Geniuses are on vacation. The average wait time is...

Seven... Days...

Your call is very important to us. Please hold. The average wait time is...

Six... Days... Twenty... Three... Hours... Fifty... Nine... Minutes... Fifty... Nine... Seconds...
posted by Splunge at 4:28 PM on December 25, 2010


Hey Cortex:

When's the last time you put oil in this damned thing anyway? Can I have my drunk dude back?
posted by timsteil at 4:31 PM on December 25, 2010


::flashing lights::

::SIREN SOUNDS::

PULL OVER NOW!

Merry Christmas or the equivalent for you sir. May I ask you why you are driving a lawnmower down Interstate 95 talking into a shoe?
posted by Splunge at 4:40 PM on December 25, 2010


Yeah, it's important to keep your drunk dude well lubricated.
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:56 PM on December 25, 2010


except you, especially when you do that thing I've told you about

Any bastard contemplating dumbassery - even fleetingly - gets his idiot joke killed. Like, Meatbomb's not our pal (quite reactionary, sometimes). The ultimate victory: win Xmas, you're zapped.
posted by flabdablet at 7:23 PM on December 25, 2010


Someone else sounds zapped...
posted by Hardcore Poser at 9:39 PM on December 26, 2010


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