January Taters January 13, 2011 9:57 PM   Subscribe

In tonight's Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, he joked about his Sexy Lunch Ladies calendar, claiming that Miss January had "sexy taters." Coy mefi reference? More importantly, hard core or soft?
posted by axiom to MetaFilter-Related at 9:57 PM (51 comments total)

I would assume he's just talking about tater tots.
posted by that girl at 10:07 PM on January 13, 2011


I would assume he's just talking about tater tots.
And lo, the mystery was solved: hardcore taters - still frozen. softcore taters - fully cooked.
posted by sanko at 10:15 PM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


I thought I might have solved the taters mystery but I'm not certain. Do you think she might have gotten "taters" mixed up with browser cookies? she might have meant cookies from softcore and hardcore sites and said taters instead? Someone else might have suggested that already.
posted by anniecat at 10:38 PM on January 13, 2011


He also made a comment about having a live audience, despite what those "internet rumor mongers" claim.
posted by lilywing13 at 10:53 PM on January 13, 2011


Meant to add that it had been previously addressed.
posted by lilywing13 at 10:54 PM on January 13, 2011


No
posted by elpea at 11:00 PM on January 13, 2011


Yes.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:03 PM on January 13, 2011


Maybe.
posted by strixus at 11:07 PM on January 13, 2011


Each time I watch that show, I wonder why that robot sidekick is still there, and how he got that cat wedged in that scanner.
posted by not_on_display at 11:08 PM on January 13, 2011


no, taters existed in the American idiom as since at least 1995. Jacksonville Florida is my source. Quite a two syllable quite referent. broad/specific.
but i will curry the herd and say maybe but sorry no.
posted by clavdivs at 11:21 PM on January 13, 2011


quite three times makes the, the. yeah.
posted by clavdivs at 11:22 PM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]


Was this Craig Ferguson person ever offended by something they saw on their boss's PC?
posted by pompomtom at 1:23 AM on January 14, 2011


Did the taters mystery ever get solved? Didn't someone say they ran into the original poster in the (ahem) produce section of a grocery store? And more importantly, is Craig Ferguson funny?
posted by bquarters at 1:34 AM on January 14, 2011


We were sharing taters in middle school in the early 80's. Just sayin'.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:13 AM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry, was someone under the impression taters was a word invented by MeFites? It ain't. Neither is maters.

Taters and maters is potatoes and tomatoes.
posted by dobbs at 2:45 AM on January 14, 2011


dobbs: They're not talking about those taters.
They're talking about these taters.
posted by vacapinta at 3:21 AM on January 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


I always assumed "taters" = "porn", and the fact it looks like a plural noun is a red herring. As in:

"The first exposure to his site (which had softcore tators porn on the site) was not due to “snooping.” HE CALLED ME INTO HIS OFFICE. When I looked at his history I did not break any locks or hack his computer, I merely walked in and looked at his history, and the sites in that history contained hardcore taters porn, and it is sexual harassment to expose people in the workplace to sexual material against their will, especially if that person finds taters porn (straight or gay) to be offensive."

Why someone who's comfortable distinguishing between hardcore and softcore varieties would call the whole lot 'taters' is still a mystery, although maybe they were worried about some colleague sneaking into their office to snoop through their browser history.
posted by Catseye at 3:49 AM on January 14, 2011


What's taters, precious?
posted by EndsOfInvention at 3:55 AM on January 14, 2011 [5 favorites]


Why did you not link the Sexy Lunch Ladies calendar?
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:13 AM on January 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


Did the taters mystery ever get solved? Didn't someone say they ran into the original poster in the (ahem) produce section of a grocery store? And more importantly, is Craig Ferguson funny?

Iirc that was shakespeherian and the story was made up. Therefore, no definitive answer.
posted by ersatz at 4:47 AM on January 14, 2011


What made the AskMeFi question so compelling is that there was no word you could substitute for Taters that would make any sense, so it tuned into a "troll the troll" Rorschach test. With Ferguson's comment there are multiple words that would work. Hell, "eyes" would work and makes for an annoying potato pun.

Taters = pornography might work for the AskMe question except that the asker used the word pornography (well, p0rn) multiple places in the question, so why come up with a non-standard euphemism a paragraph later?
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 4:59 AM on January 14, 2011


> And more importantly, is Craig Ferguson funny?

Best in class, really. Leno, Letterman, Coco, are all insufferable.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:45 AM on January 14, 2011 [6 favorites]


I love a world where "pr0n" can be concidered more standard than something else.
posted by skynxnex at 5:53 AM on January 14, 2011


And more importantly, is Craig Ferguson funny?

Yes. Evidence: The Lost Doctor Who Cold Opening, Evidence 2, Craig cooks with Paula Deen.
posted by sugarfish at 6:09 AM on January 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


Iirc that was shakespeherian and the story was made up.

HOW DARE YOU SIR
posted by shakespeherian at 6:39 AM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


It was made up of win, was what I think was meant. (Was.)
posted by SpiffyRob at 7:01 AM on January 14, 2011


I still think this was the funniest troll comment I made but no one else seemed to care for it.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:28 AM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


to curry or cull? that is the tater.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 7:52 AM on January 14, 2011


Man, looking back on that thread is hilarious, shakes. You trolled the shit out of so many people, even though MStPT calls you out on it right away. It seems so obvious now, but at the time, it was actually pretty convincing. Well done. *sidehug*
posted by SpiffyRob at 8:21 AM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


OMG SIDEHUG
posted by shakespeherian at 8:23 AM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


I still think this was the funniest troll comment I made but no one else seemed to care for it.

I thought your prior comment was better in its pseudo-earnest blitheness, striking just the right tone of helpful obliviousness; it assumed that obviously what we really wanted to know was how the lady was doing, and how the whole situation shook out. That was a much more well-constructed troll, if you ask me. In fact, I believe that comment was why I ended up adding you as a contact.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:29 AM on January 14, 2011


Man, and Orson Welles was wrong about what his best film was, too.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:45 AM on January 14, 2011


i once spent, not because of shakespeherian, about two hours reading the tater thread or threads. what an odd thing that does to the human brain. what are taters. i must know. i must know. GODDAMMIT.
posted by angrycat at 8:46 AM on January 14, 2011


HOW DARE YOU SIR

The Guardian just published the relevant cable. It's all over.
posted by ersatz at 8:49 AM on January 14, 2011


I'm pretty sure that trolling was what first put Shakes on my radar, but I think I'd forgotten about the Chicago content of it, because when I then later "discovered" that he was a Chicago MeFite (when he started our epic meetup thread) I was elated that I would get to meet him. And then meeting turned to sidehugging and, well, the rest is history.

Which is to say: There is no more progression beyond sidehugging.

...yet?
posted by SpiffyRob at 8:56 AM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Just stop it.
posted by amanda at 8:58 AM on January 14, 2011


...yet?

he put his disease in me
posted by shakespeherian at 9:41 AM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


I don't know if anyone dug this up before, but I looked on Stormfront today and found some interesting uses of taters.

nuts:

"rip his taters off"
"man with a set of taters"

No region was specified in the posts, but both posters were probably from somewhere in the US.

Another poster, ostensibly by someone in the UK, linked to a Sunday Times article that mentions "taters" is East Anglian for "cold."

THERE is the regional weather forecast: it’s going to be “nesh” in the southwest of England, “taters” in East Anglia and absolutely “foonert” in Kilmarnock.

All these words mean “cold” and are evidence that dialect is flourishing in this country, according to a study.


Sorry if this is old news. Back to procrastinating.
posted by vincele at 10:10 AM on January 14, 2011


but I looked on Stormfront today and found some interesting uses of taters

Just happened to be browsing Stormfront, did we ?
posted by dersins at 10:52 AM on January 14, 2011


Browsing Stormfront to find an answer to taters is pretty hardcore tatery.
posted by kmz at 10:54 AM on January 14, 2011


Wait dude, I'm not ready to start procrastinating yet.
posted by Mister_A at 10:54 AM on January 14, 2011


Just happened to be browsing Stormfront, did we ?

Indeed. It's my raisin de tater.

(That comes from Stormfront too, not that anyone would ever, ever find out.)


taters
posted by vincele at 11:41 AM on January 14, 2011


I'm going to start referring to 'Our sister site, Stormfront' just to see how quickly I get banned.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:50 PM on January 14, 2011


So if you got cold nuts, you could say 'My taters are tatered?'
I need to know these things people.
posted by mannequito at 12:53 PM on January 14, 2011


My boyfriend and I, well, we're both MeFites.

"Taters" is our gender-neutral equivalent of "boner." To mash one's taters: to give a boner or girl-boner. To boil a tater: to kill the tater, kill it dead.

It was only decided to use tater after we decided that "girl-boner" and "femmerection" sucked.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 8:04 PM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


What's wrong with "turgid dahlia"?
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:22 AM on January 15, 2011


He's disabled.
posted by dersins at 1:12 PM on January 15, 2011


Taters are breasts.
posted by jnaps at 3:56 AM on January 19, 2011


6. A word originating from the Rowe dialect of Slidell. Definition unknown, but usually said at random at almost any time.
taters!!!!

posted by From Bklyn at 4:38 AM on January 19, 2011


Hardcore and softcore breasts?
posted by shakespeherian at 5:33 AM on January 19, 2011


Man, if taters are breasts, those gay male porn sites are doing it entirely wrong.
posted by SpiffyRob at 6:15 AM on January 19, 2011


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