This is why I love MetaFilter May 5, 2011 7:09 PM   Subscribe

Coincidence? i think not

Askme:

This post: How do I deal with beard burn from sex with my new partner? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to grab bag at 8:13 PM - 15 answers (15 new) +


Was proceeded by this post: What are my best options for permanent hair removal on the shaft of my penis? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to grab bag at 8:13 PM - 3 answers (3 new) +

I wish everyone well and thank them for the smile their timing brought me! :)
posted by tomswift to MetaFilter-Related at 7:09 PM (111 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

OK.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:15 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


Link 1
Link 2

I have no idea why this needs a meta, though,
posted by Dumsnill at 7:16 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


I saw this and thought *exactly* the same thing, FWIW.
posted by unSane at 7:16 PM on May 5, 2011


Thanks for sharing.
posted by crunchland at 7:17 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


You're welcome.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:19 PM on May 5, 2011 [4 favorites]


"chuckle silently to self" != "make post to meta"
posted by koeselitz at 7:20 PM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


at least this solves the neckbeard mystery
posted by mannequito at 7:21 PM on May 5, 2011 [16 favorites]


Because Meta is the place to post joyful meta-related events. Births, divine interventions, peace prizes, and glorious, glorious penis/beard burn solutions!
posted by tomswift at 7:25 PM on May 5, 2011 [3 favorites]


I wish that anonymous guy could only post once a week too.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:32 PM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


Ron F*cking Swanson: "It rubbed off . . . from friction."
posted by Think_Long at 7:37 PM on May 5, 2011 [3 favorites]


Ah, Cinco de Mayo.
posted by biochemist at 7:37 PM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


I've decided to not shave until the first draft of my script is complete.

So my BF has had to deal with me sneaking up on him and going "BEARD KISSES! SO SCRATCHY FOR YOU! EMBRACE THE BEARD KISSES!"
posted by The Whelk at 7:44 PM on May 5, 2011 [12 favorites]


Penis hair really is a tough problem, hopefully this time (!) Anonymous can straighten the problem out.
posted by carsonb at 7:44 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


"straighten the problem out"

you didn't really say that, did you?
posted by tomswift at 7:46 PM on May 5, 2011 [3 favorites]


Just laying pipe for subsequent inappropriate jokes.
posted by carsonb at 7:50 PM on May 5, 2011 [5 favorites]


Hopefully this time (!) Anonymous can solve his problem. Boners.
posted by drjimmy11 at 7:50 PM on May 5, 2011


Dear moderators and fellow citizenry,

I am writing with respect to that of which you are already
aware, if you have been paying attention to recent events;
namely, the dispute between Churl and Nunk earlier today
regarding one deviled egg (or two, as some may claim).
Knowing your busy schedules, as well as the sheer quantity
of correspondence you receive each day, I shall try to be
as specific and brief as possible. You will find, attached, a
copy of all referenced documents should you wish to follow
along. I will pause now for everyone to open the envelopes.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are staring at a copy of the
landmark The World Famous ruling. After careful (but
expedient) deliberation, I have, in response, decided to laugh
heartily forthwith. Thank you for your time.

(laughs heartily, leaves)
posted by yaymukund at 7:50 PM on May 5, 2011 [7 favorites]


if you combine deviled eggs, penis hair, and beard burn into one thread, you're going to have one hell of a mess...

just sayin'
posted by tomswift at 7:54 PM on May 5, 2011


Remember the other day, when there was the question about the dad who might not be the biological father, and then that question about the kid whose father was some other dude?
posted by box at 7:58 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


I wanted deviled eggs so much after reading the deviled eggs question that I made one single deviled egg. Wait, I mean two.
posted by oinopaponton at 7:59 PM on May 5, 2011 [6 favorites]


deviled eggs, penis hair, and beard burn

Deviled penis burn? Sounds like something only a herpster could love.
posted by Forktine at 8:03 PM on May 5, 2011


I propose that in order to post a new metatalk thread, users have to run a marathon, or an obstacle course, or solve the Goldbach Conjecture or something.
posted by crunchland at 8:05 PM on May 5, 2011


That goddamn deviled egg thread is causing me even more problems than the cereal soup one, oh my god.
posted by elizardbits at 8:15 PM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


I propose that, in order to respond to a Metatalk thread, crunchland needs to find his sense of humor... love ya!
posted by tomswift at 8:16 PM on May 5, 2011


noodles > rice > bread
posted by Meatbomb at 8:16 PM on May 5, 2011


my math teacher wife made it clear to me that "a" deviled egg consisted of both halves of "an" egg. And she'll beat the crap out of anyone that wants to argue about that..
posted by tomswift at 8:17 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


I, too, celebrate this anniversary of the rather small, southern Mexican state of Puebla and its rousing defeat of the French in a small battle that the rest of Mexico doesn't really remember or care about.

I think we Americans were just happy somebody beat the French at something, especially when they were being all sneaky and trying to further destabilize things by backing the Confederacy. Napoleon would have sharks in a tank firing lasers at everybody if he were alive now. Nefarious dude.
posted by empyrean at 8:19 PM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


I just want to say good luck. We're both counting on you.
posted by special-k at 8:19 PM on May 5, 2011 [3 favorites]


I have it on good authority that deviled eggs were actually invented by the devil in a plot to convince people to eat gross things.
posted by koeselitz at 8:19 PM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


crunchland writes "I propose that in order to post a new metatalk thread, users have to run a marathon, or an obstacle course, or solve the Goldbach Conjecture or something."

I propose that only members of the triple 1000 club be able to post metas so that we know they are serious about the site.
posted by Mitheral at 8:20 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


I just use a weed whacker.
posted by clavdivs at 8:26 PM on May 5, 2011


Goldblum Conjecture: Everything is a little better with a dash of Goldblum in it.

Solution: Sadly, not true.

Proof: Law & Order: Criminal Intent.

Can I post my silly MeTa now?

...waaaait for it...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:29 PM on May 5, 2011 [5 favorites]


Mao > Stalin > Hitler > Stockard Channing
posted by Meatbomb at 8:32 PM on May 5, 2011


I noticed that too
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 8:32 PM on May 5, 2011


I noticed that too

How could you not? - Stockard Channing is waaaaay smaller than Hitler!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:34 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


I love all of you. Some of you more than others. (Or some of you more than otters, if you believe auto-correct has anything to say about it. Which it does, apparently.)
posted by tzikeh at 8:38 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


I don't love anyone more than otters.
posted by oinopaponton at 8:39 PM on May 5, 2011 [6 favorites]


*cries*
posted by jonmc at 8:40 PM on May 5, 2011


Frankly, I want to know why auto-correct goes to "otters" for "others." How is that a smart move, commonly-used-words-wise?

(I must admit, I agree with oinopaponton.)
posted by tzikeh at 8:41 PM on May 5, 2011


After seeing the shaved penis/beard burn/deviled egg/Fisher Price moo cow AskMes, I actually went looking for a calendar to check, but no, it is NOT a full moon tonight.

Buncha freaks on this site tonight.

Woohoo! Go, freaks!

posted by misha at 8:42 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


How do we feel about Otter Pops? They're like Popsicles without sticks up their asses. Is this a good thing?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:43 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


The red ones are okay, but the rest can GTFO.
posted by oinopaponton at 8:46 PM on May 5, 2011


We made jonmc cry people, remember this day.
posted by The Whelk at 9:10 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


i will take all the otterpops oinopaponton refuses. except the gross blue ones. apparently my husband will take those, though.
posted by nadawi at 9:10 PM on May 5, 2011


I'd like Otter Pops more if they didn't give me occasional plastic cuts on the corners of my lips. Like paper cuts, only ouchier.
posted by jamaro at 9:10 PM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


Due to some sort of confusion in my childhood, I read "deviled egg" and imagine "potato salad" and it is always very frustrating.

*craving potato salad*
posted by nile_red at 9:22 PM on May 5, 2011


They kind of taste the same.
posted by oinopaponton at 9:24 PM on May 5, 2011


The Venn Diagram of MeFites with penises and Mefites with beards is probably very close to being a single circle. Coincidence? I think not. Are these two questions related? No, they're coincidental, I think.
posted by Daddy-O at 9:46 PM on May 5, 2011


Are deviled eggs good? It seems like when I've had them, they mostly taste likes eggs taste when you haven't put enough salt on them. Hard-boiled eggs, too, the worst kind. Now fry me an egg, or soft boil me and egg, and oh man. Scrambled is good too, but inferior to any form with a liquid yolk.

Potato salad though. God, what the hell are people thinking.

your favorite food sucks
posted by !Jim at 10:03 PM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


The fun in eating otter pops comes from imagining you live in a post-apocalypse underground silo-city, and you eat sweet nutrient paste from plastic tubes in your coffin-sized living space you are never allowed to leave for fear of giant mutated moth-people.
posted by Rinku at 10:03 PM on May 5, 2011 [5 favorites]


So my BF has had to deal with me sneaking up on him and going "BEARD KISSES! SO SCRATCHY FOR YOU! EMBRACE THE BEARD KISSES!"

Damn it. Mine is doing this too.
posted by mykescipark at 10:13 PM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


I was in another thread but I thought I heard someone mention Venn diagrams.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:31 PM on May 5, 2011 [9 favorites]


Beards compell people to eat eggs, apparently.
posted by The Whelk at 10:33 PM on May 5, 2011


the fuck is an otter pop. seriously
posted by crackingdes at 10:54 PM on May 5, 2011


It is time for me to link to this again
posted by Jofus at 11:33 PM on May 5, 2011


As I understand it, if I don't cut it for another two months I wake up understanding Unix? Right?

That or magic powers, I'll take either.
posted by The Whelk at 11:35 PM on May 5, 2011


oinopaponton: "I don't love anyone more than otters."

What the fuck, man, otters are fucking awesome.
posted by Phire at 11:37 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


I remember being an editor for my school newspaper during high school, happily flipping through the final proof of the special "senior issue," reading one of our articles with some venn diagram art and then noticing, to my horror, that the A ∩ B part was completely empty.
posted by yaymukund at 11:56 PM on May 5, 2011


I said it once in the askme and I'll say it again. Cereal is a stew.

One of the arguments that cereal is not a soup is this: if you strain the broth from soup what do you get, broth and and a pile vegetables, chicken etc. That is to say that "soupness" is imparted by the totality, neither the broth nor chunks. The opposite is true of cereal, if you strain the milk from cereal you are left with cereal and milk, the "cerealness" is actully imparted by one ingredient. The same is true of stew, if you strain stew you get.... stew and gravy.

But there is more. Stewing is a method of softening otherwise tough food items, the same as soaking cereal in milk.

I could go on, as I haven't even considered hot cereals yet, but I rest my case. Cereal is a stew.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:24 AM on May 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


i don't know about you guys but my beard doesn't grow on my penis.
posted by Decani at 1:13 AM on May 6, 2011


To be honest it's often hard to tell by your comments though which end is which.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:20 AM on May 6, 2011


That's a half-prize Cinco De Mayo insult. I call it: ¬°El Zingerrito!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:21 AM on May 6, 2011


Like most half-priced things you can get today, it will make you vom.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:29 AM on May 6, 2011


For reasons obscure and unclear,
I can't put my nose in my ear.
But if I succeed,
I'll be happy indeed,
For I'll finally have a career.
--Richard Stallman
posted by Joseph Gurl at 3:12 AM on May 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


If I could just kiss my own nose,
I'd have a career, I suppose.
But the Christian right wing
Would frown on the thing;
For safety, I'll just kiss my toes.
--Richard Stallman
posted by Joseph Gurl at 3:12 AM on May 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


What is the plural of spoonful?
posted by unSane at 4:57 AM on May 6, 2011


Lovin' Spoonful.

I had a Bob Larson book years ago that maintained that, just like 10cc, Lovin' Spoonful's name is a reference to ejaculation.
posted by box at 5:02 AM on May 6, 2011


The Venn Diagram of MeFites with penises and Mefites with beards is probably very close to being a single circle.

See, this just brings up more questions of arguable definitions: How long and/or thick does facial hair have to be before it qualifies as a beard? Do only the attached living tissue kind count as penises, or do the, uh, removable aftermarket accessory kind also count?
posted by FishBike at 5:25 AM on May 6, 2011


What is the plural of spoonful?

For the most common usage, I argue it should be "spoonfuls". Because typically one fills the same spoon repeatedly, therefore it is the "full" part that is plural, not the "spoon" part.

However, in the rare case where one has multiple spoons, each of which is full, then "spoonsful" would be the correct choice.

I have been thinking about this particular issue for decades.
posted by FishBike at 5:28 AM on May 6, 2011 [5 favorites]


i don't know about you guys but my beard doesn't grow on my penis.

But my penis grows in my beard.
posted by inigo2 at 5:37 AM on May 6, 2011


Wait I've said too much. Everyone look at this instead!
posted by inigo2 at 5:38 AM on May 6, 2011


spoonfuls is the accepted pluralization, and spoonsful was the original version which fell out of use.

http://www.randomhouse.com/wotd/index.pperl?date=20010105
posted by Harpocrates at 5:51 AM on May 6, 2011


penis beard > regular beard > ear hairs > herpes
posted by Meatbomb at 6:34 AM on May 6, 2011


Dear gods it's a fuckin' pollen party out here.
posted by The Whelk at 8:01 AM on May 6, 2011


"What is the plural of spoonful?"

Attorneys General.
posted by klangklangston at 8:35 AM on May 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


What is the plural of spoonful

Bowlful.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:37 AM on May 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Lovin'
posted by The Whelk at 8:41 AM on May 6, 2011


Whoppers Junior.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:51 AM on May 6, 2011


How many whoppers Junior must a man shove down?
posted by The Whelk at 8:52 AM on May 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


...before he can shove down a Whopper?
posted by bakerina at 9:13 AM on May 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


The answer, my friend, is bowling in the Venn. The answer is bowling in the Venn.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:15 AM on May 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


.
posted by orthogonality at 9:24 AM on May 6, 2011


Tighties whitey.
posted by maryr at 12:10 PM on May 6, 2011


Just so long as they aren't untidy tighties whitey.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:19 PM on May 6, 2011


Whose up for cigars and multiple malts whiskey?
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:32 PM on May 6, 2011


can we collude to form a monopoly to secure our power and position?
posted by The Whelk at 12:35 PM on May 6, 2011


Whose up for cigars and multiple malts whiskey?

I'm home because I was up sick all night. So of course. Absolutely!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:39 PM on May 6, 2011


'Scuse me. I meant, "up all night with the sicks."
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:08 PM on May 6, 2011


Indeed. *puff puff* Indeed
posted by The Whelk at 1:16 PM on May 6, 2011


I think we Americans were just happy somebody beat the French at something, especially when they were being all sneaky and trying to further destabilize things by backing the Confederacy to have another excuse to get drunk.

FTFY.
posted by MikeKD at 2:19 PM on May 6, 2011




BOYZONE
posted by deborah at 2:31 PM on May 6, 2011


Can you provide directions to this zone?
posted by The Whelk at 2:34 PM on May 6, 2011


GIRL'S OWN
posted by koeselitz at 2:34 PM on May 6, 2011


TROMBONE
posted by The Whelk at 2:35 PM on May 6, 2011


There are no directions. To penetrate the boyzone, you must have a Stalker.
posted by koeselitz at 2:35 PM on May 6, 2011


Or some good lube.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:39 PM on May 6, 2011


Great now I've got some porn version of SOLARIS in my head.
posted by The Whelk at 2:41 PM on May 6, 2011


You're welcome.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:41 PM on May 6, 2011


some porn version of SOLARIS

the one where Ron Jeremy is banished to a space station for crimes against feminism, only to discover that the sentient ocean below is sending him replicas of every single woman he ever boned in a flick

HO-LARIS?
posted by unSane at 2:48 PM on May 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


BLOLARIS
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:51 PM on May 6, 2011


SOLANUS
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:02 PM on May 6, 2011


tha'ts a beautiful part of California.
posted by The Whelk at 3:03 PM on May 6, 2011


I hear the traffic jams have really started to hurt the tourist industry, though.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:07 PM on May 6, 2011


see also

AGUIRRE, COCK OF GOD
ONE WAY MIRROR
ANDRE RUB-AND-TUGLEV
posted by unSane at 3:12 PM on May 6, 2011


if you combine deviled eggs, penis hair, and beard burn into one thread, you're going to have one hell of a mess...

just sayin'


None Dare Call It Hand Lotion.
posted by y2karl at 5:41 PM on May 6, 2011


COCK E.S.P.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 6:20 PM on May 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I have come to to suspect that Anonymous is actually the former child star Charles "Charlie" Brown. Hang in there Chuck.
posted by R. Mutt at 5:25 AM on May 7, 2011


Attorneys General.

You aren't being specific.
posted by Obscure Reference at 5:52 AM on May 7, 2011


Foonspull.
posted by Splunge at 5:25 PM on May 7, 2011


Great now I've got some porn version of SOLARIS in my head.

Oh god now I'm picturing something with Larry Ellison in it...
posted by russm at 12:40 AM on May 8, 2011


« Older MeTa Book Club Does Housekeeping   |   You mean there are other countries? Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments