I hear something saying, Oooh! Ahhhh! May 10, 2011 3:09 PM   Subscribe

Do the mods ever win metafilter?

Sort of a silly question, but once it occurred to me I couldn't quite get it out of my head: Do y'all ever win? Is there ever a point in the day where you're like, "All flags have been noted, all tsks ticked off, no one is emailing me to ask me to yell at anyone...time for a nice cup o' joe."

It just struck me once....even following an active thread as a commenter, you can feel like you're drowning in new info, never able to take in everything and respond without new stuff pouring in on top of it.

So I couldn't help but wonder if modding is this Sisyphean task where you're never, ever, done --- wake up in the morning, modding to do, grab a bit of lunch nagged at the whole time by the feeling of modding piling up behind you while you back is turned, finally log off for the night with a pile of modding still sitting there...if it is like that, how do you cope?
posted by Diablevert to Etiquette/Policy at 3:09 PM (124 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

There are markers every 250 meters up the mountain. Every time Sisyphus reaches one, he pauses for a moment, yells, "ROCK ON!" and returns to pushing.
posted by ardgedee at 3:10 PM on May 10, 2011 [39 favorites]


For some reason, I have never until this moment pictured cortex groaning "Time to make the donuts..."
posted by Gator at 3:11 PM on May 10, 2011 [13 favorites]


I got to that point last Sunday night. Was just about to knock off for the evening when this happened.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 3:12 PM on May 10, 2011 [9 favorites]


The only way to win is not to play.
posted by The Whelk at 3:13 PM on May 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


So I couldn't help but wonder if modding is this Sisyphean task where you're never, ever, done

Compared to a task-oriented job, it's kind of a thing that just keeps going, yeah. Sisyphean feels a little dark for most days—the typical workday really is pretty calm, it doesn't tend to be a THE MAIL NEVER STOPS feeling—but in the sense that there's no firm punchclock or a way to know for sure that things will be quiet, definitely it's a little odd.

grab a bit of lunch nagged at the whole time by the feeling of modding piling up behind you while you back is turned, finally log off for the night with a pile of modding still sitting there...if it is like that, how do you cope?

I think it helps to be predisposed to not minding that kind of dynamic; the average workday around here has a lot of gaps in it, where we're watching for trouble or someone who needs something, or keeping an eye on a tricky situation, but not actively pressing buttons, and that means there's a lot of flex which is why I manage to record music and play some video games and paint my house in fits and starts throughout the day. Some days I'm glued to the screen for a couple hours at a stretch, rare days I'm glued to it for 12 hours, but all in all it's pretty managable.

But I can say that, beyond that, part of it for me has just getting used to the dynamic and finding better ways to cope mentally with that stuff. In my first year or so modding I tended to check the site if I stirred in the middle of the night and, I think, may have ended up stirring in the middle of the night more often than is normal for me because I was worried about something blowing up on the site. That doesn't happen so much now, in large part I think because I've gotten over some of that nerviness, and gotten used to communicating with the rest of the team about our respective out-of-contact periods.

One practical thing that's useful for not having a meltdown is reminding myself that we're not air traffic controllers here. The worst case scenario for most non-technical problems on Metafilter is people getting away with being obnoxious in one fashion or another, and while I think the ways in which that can manifest tend to suck and would rather be able to keep an eye on such stuff, it's not the end of the world if something is weird on the site for a couple hours or overnight because we needed a break.

So when shit is crazy and grinding, we pretty much try and deal with it as best we can, put in the long hours when we need to, and trade off taking brain vacations if its burnout-level stuff where e.g. me and Jessamyn have both been refreshing a thread all day or have typed 5000 words in a metatalk.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:25 PM on May 10, 2011 [16 favorites]


It's less like Sisyphus and more like the Mountain Climbing guy from The Price is Right.
posted by Eideteker at 3:27 PM on May 10, 2011 [29 favorites]


4507 words to go before your next break.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 3:29 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Less QWOP, more GIRP?
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:29 PM on May 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


For some reason, I have never until this moment pictured cortex groaning "Time to make the donuts..."

We make the donuts. Cortex just eats them. And there are always more donuts.
posted by The World Famous at 3:37 PM on May 10, 2011


Great now every time I read a mod's comment it's gonna have yodellodeodedo! In the background.

Maybe lucky Tyrolean caps are in order.
posted by The Whelk at 3:40 PM on May 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


I thought we weren't going to call people sisyphissy anymore.
posted by found missing at 3:42 PM on May 10, 2011


Man.

Time flies! Doesn't seem a minute since the Tyrolean cap had a moderator in it.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 3:49 PM on May 10, 2011 [9 favorites]


I got to that point last Sunday night. Was just about to knock off for the evening when this happened.

LEVEL UP!
posted by Devils Rancher at 3:51 PM on May 10, 2011 [8 favorites]


I keep forgetting that so many MeFites are a lot younger than I am.
posted by Gator at 3:53 PM on May 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


We make the donuts. Cortex just eats them. And there are always more donuts.

OMG WE'RE THE PRODUCT!
posted by inigo2 at 3:54 PM on May 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


I bet that were at that moment before this MeTa was made.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:56 PM on May 10, 2011


To be fair, Cortex's doughnuts take several stout men and a good part of the day to make.
posted by The Whelk at 3:56 PM on May 10, 2011


CORTEX WATCH OUT
posted by scody at 3:56 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Gee whiz, don't the mods ever get any rest? I know, I'll start a MetaTalk about the unending catalogue of things requiring their attention!
posted by Admiral Haddock at 3:58 PM on May 10, 2011 [7 favorites]


I'll be over here frying up bacon for the next batch of donuts.
posted by rtha at 3:59 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I bet most of us are just like generic 8-bit enemies with the occasional lazy palette-swap but like SOME users are clearly mini-bosses and the occasional BOSS with their own theme music and YOU KNOW who they are and probably the mods hoard all their potions and spels for those encounters but like their wallets are too full of rupees and they forgat to save at the last house >:( but it's all good you can totally grind out some deleted chatfilter for a fwe hours and you'll be wrigt were you were before :) Also if you thorugh your mod name in the lake the princess will like give you a gold star and then you can weird the ban-hammer :O ('cept you gotta find it furst._)
posted by 2bucksplus at 4:02 PM on May 10, 2011 [19 favorites]


I remember when Jessamyn posted the animated gif of the chicken fucker. She might not have been able to relax that night, but she certainly won the thread.
posted by Gucky at 4:13 PM on May 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Just remember, don't attack my shell.
posted by The Whelk at 4:17 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


>>We make the donuts. Cortex just eats them. And there are always more donuts.
>OMG WE'RE THE PRODUCT!

Metafilter donuts are made out of people!
posted by narwhal bacon at 4:21 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Delicious people.
posted by The Whelk at 4:29 PM on May 10, 2011


PUT THE DONUT IN THE DRINKS CART!
posted by clavdivs at 4:36 PM on May 10, 2011


At one point when I was an 18-year-old working at Disneyland, my lead pulled me aside and told me to chill the fuck out.

"The gates are going to open every day. And stupid people will keep buying tickets. That's the way it's been since 1955, and that's the way it's going to be every day, forever. The important thing is not to hurt yourself."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:36 PM on May 10, 2011 [48 favorites]


time for a nice cup o' joe

Coffee is for (thread-)closers.
posted by anotherpanacea at 4:54 PM on May 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Cool Papa Bell - I wish someone had told me that when I worked at Disneyland. Preferably before I started waking up in the middle of the night reciting the rules for what you can and can't write on a hat.

I really hope the mods don't wake up in the middle of the night reciting the rules for what does and doesn't constitute a proper AskMe answer.
posted by SMPA at 5:01 PM on May 10, 2011


So I couldn't help but wonder if modding is this Sisyphean task where you're never, ever, done . . . if it is like that, how do you cope?

Isn't that what every job is like? Seriously?

Why did I become a lawyer?
posted by amro at 5:03 PM on May 10, 2011 [7 favorites]


Huh. I always pictured it more like Matt standing over a pit (the mod-pit) in the floor, screaming "It moderates the thread or else it gets the hose again!" as Jessamyn, Cortex, pb, Vacapinta, and now restless_nomad scramble to delete comments.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:04 PM on May 10, 2011 [13 favorites]


Preferably before I started waking up in the middle of the night reciting the rules for what you can and can't write on a hat.


The rules. Now. Tell us.
posted by The World Famous at 5:10 PM on May 10, 2011 [18 favorites]


That's NUMBERWANG!
posted by briank at 5:15 PM on May 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Mmmm, stout donuts.
posted by heyho at 5:15 PM on May 10, 2011


You had me at donuts. Sweet, delicious donuts.
posted by tommasz at 5:16 PM on May 10, 2011


Even if modding wasn't necessary, just the sheer volume of text to read must be overwhelming. I've always had the impression that each and every comment is actually read by at least one mod. (Don't correct me if I'm wrong.)
posted by klarck at 5:26 PM on May 10, 2011


It really depends on your perspective, I guess. Cortex and Jess are time-bound and mortal so that will colour their perspective on the work. Me, I just stand way back and try to sort of unfocus my eyes a little, and everything is so interconnected and complete that I am in awe, in the presence of absolute perfection.

When I am in that mode I don't usually need to do any button pushing at all.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:30 PM on May 10, 2011 [7 favorites]


It's like Minority Report, all the mods are floating in a phosphorescent milky goo mumbling

"Deleted post end of line seo seo conflict resolution engaged so sad seo ban the spammer flag for favorite, like heartbreak."
posted by The Whelk at 5:31 PM on May 10, 2011 [21 favorites]


oh somebody please mock that up.
posted by cashman at 5:48 PM on May 10, 2011


what I'm saying is one day we'll use cortex to power our Basestars.
posted by The Whelk at 5:49 PM on May 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


My first couple weeks I had no less than three dreams in which I had really mundane training meetings with Jessamyn. I figure if my stress dreams tend to involve lots of sex and violence, this must mean I'm happy?
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 5:51 PM on May 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Do Mods Dream Of Electronic Flags?
posted by The Whelk at 5:54 PM on May 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


These people can close or delete threads, delete comments and they have access to The Banhammer. How much more Win do they need?

The mods are Made Of Win.

You look up Win in the dictionary, and that's not Charlie Sheen you see, nope, it's the MeFi ModSquad.

Every time Charlie Sheen says "Winning," MeFi Mods get a royalty payment.

posted by theora55 at 5:59 PM on May 10, 2011


LEVEL CLEAR!

Number of users banned: 120,000 [BONUS 5x]

posted by not_on_display at 6:03 PM on May 10, 2011 [13 favorites]


But I can say that, beyond that, part of it for me has just getting used to the dynamic and finding better ways to cope mentally with that stuff.

cortex helps me with this. I can sometimes be like your long suffering "you never write ... you never call" mod sometimes. It's been really helpful for me to have a few other things to do outside of Mod Town including teaching people how to use iTunes [that's where I was tonight, we learned to make a playlist. I helped maybe six people rip a CD for the first time in their lives.] because otherwise I'd be hitting reload like some sort of ghoulish zoo-watcher silently willing the zoo animals to eat something or fuck something.

But you asked about winning, and it's been helpful for me to remember that winning and closure are often for fiction and sports. Real life goes on and you're either up or you're down and even when your stupid government goes and kills someone in another country the minute to minute day you have relies so much more on perspective, mood and attitude rather than whether someone's hollering at someone else on the internet or even whether they're hollering at you.

And I mean this with no disrespect but one of the things that you sort of have to have with a job like this is a certain level of distance. I think for me this comes naturally because I have hermit tendencies and people confuse me a little. Also I read really quickly. And I'm good at multitasking in a "No really I'm GOOD at it" way, not like people think they're good at multitasking when they're just easily distracted.

And I know I've said this before but I can be a little mercenary. That is, I like having a job that pays well with coworkers that I adore, but I also love what I call the "conversion factor" where knowing people online turns into knowing people offline. I've made friends, gotten jobs, had beers and really lived my life with, among other people, the people I've met here. All while nominally "doing my job." If that is not winning, then I do not know what winning is. Which is also possible.

and I am sorry if you are offended by my zoo metaphor
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:20 PM on May 10, 2011 [55 favorites]


and I am sorry if you are offended by my zoo metaphor

Not at all. I have to apologize in advance though, because your zoo metaphor can't help but lead to this:

Metafilter: Silently Willing the Zoo Animals to Eat Something or Fuck Something
posted by marxchivist at 6:29 PM on May 10, 2011 [12 favorites]


Metafilter: some sort of ghoulish zoo-watcher silently willing the zoo animals to eat something or fuck something.
posted by The Whelk at 6:35 PM on May 10, 2011


If we're all zoo animals, can I be a jaguar kitten? They are so precious.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:40 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


You just WISH all the bunnies were caged....
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:45 PM on May 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


You all sped past the "Price Is Right Cliffhangers Game" metaphor without mentioning the obvious difference: if something goes wrong, it does NOT take 37 hours to reset (thank pb for that).
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:49 PM on May 10, 2011


I wanna be a Pallas Cat, all smoosh faced and bad at reproducing.
posted by The Whelk at 6:49 PM on May 10, 2011


Having been so bidden, I'll go bounce off the bars and head to my significant others house where I bet there is food.
posted by Blasdelb at 6:54 PM on May 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Let me tell you what happened at the zoo, Peter. (Giggles.)
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:59 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Christmas At The Zoo
posted by The Whelk at 7:01 PM on May 10, 2011


So now I'm confused. The donuts symbolize elitism, right?
posted by Eideteker at 7:05 PM on May 10, 2011


Wait, just curious - do most mods mod fulltime? Or do you guys have a dayjob that you also have?
posted by kurosawa's pal at 7:22 PM on May 10, 2011


Mod mods mod mods mod mods buffalo
posted by 2bucksplus at 7:25 PM on May 10, 2011 [6 favorites]


Vacapinta and I are both part-time (he's nights, I'm weekends) and cortex and jessamyn are pretty much all the time, although when I'm on they're theoretically just backups.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 7:26 PM on May 10, 2011


I just want to know at what point the mods start stuffing stray flags down their shirts before mathowie skypes in to check on them.
posted by Rhaomi at 7:31 PM on May 10, 2011


Time to make the donuts...
posted by hangashore at 7:31 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Aw jeez, Gator'd already!
posted by hangashore at 7:36 PM on May 10, 2011


Dammit, honey! Gators again?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:40 PM on May 10, 2011


You are an Alligator
posted by The Whelk at 7:41 PM on May 10, 2011


I'd be hitting reload like some sort of ghoulish zoo-watcher silently willing the zoo animals to eat something or fuck something.

Good grief. Now I'll never be able to have sex again.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 7:44 PM on May 10, 2011


I just want to know at what point the mods start stuffing stray flags down their shirts before mathowie skypes in to check on them.

For some reason this makes me think modding must be something like this form of flag collecting.

Man, back then I thought Marc Summers looked like an adult, but now I realize he looked like a teenager hosting a TV show
posted by kiltedtaco at 7:44 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Gucky writes "I remember when Jessamyn posted the animated gif of the chicken fucker. She might not have been able to relax that night, but she certainly won the thread."

Not quite. Jessamyn linked to static images, (sadly? all 404'd), and a google search that included the images that eventually made up the animated gif. Another user animated the pictures and posted it (inline if IIRC). The google image search still returns if not the actual images that made up the animated GIF then a good approximation (so very NSFW for pretty well everyone).
posted by Mitheral at 7:46 PM on May 10, 2011


modding to do [...] modding piling up behind you [...] modding still sitting there...

Don't cry
Don't raise your eye
It's only modding wasteland.

posted by amyms at 7:47 PM on May 10, 2011


We're all wasted.
posted by The Whelk at 7:51 PM on May 10, 2011


So now I'm confused. The donuts symbolize elitism, right?

The donut symbolizes the circular nature of site activity, the daily/weekly/yearly heartbeat of the collective organ that is the Metafilter community; when you've traversed the diameter of the donut, you are back where you began, a brand new day like the one before.

The donut also symbolizes the way in which each of us is substantial but incomplete, a hole through the middle speaking to our need for interaction, the call to togetherness (in collaboration or in conflict) that mandates not just a platform but a community.

The donut also symbolizes toroids, because they're really topologically neat.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:04 PM on May 10, 2011 [8 favorites]


Gators gonna gait.
posted by Gator at 8:14 PM on May 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


The donut also symbolizes toroids, because they're really topologically neat.

Donuts merely remind me of bagels. Otherwise I agree with you 100%.
posted by chemoboy at 8:27 PM on May 10, 2011


The donuts symbolize elitism, right?

But the sprinkles symbolize an egalitarian ideal: the even distribution of favorites.
posted by amyms at 8:32 PM on May 10, 2011


The Jelly filling symbolizes the goodness at the heart of the masses.
posted by The Whelk at 8:44 PM on May 10, 2011


Eideteker: "It's less like Sisyphus and more like the Mountain Climbing guy from The Price is Right."

Now please enjoy Cliffhangers, Full Cue.
posted by Gin and Comics at 8:48 PM on May 10, 2011


Can I be the Bird of Paradise? I mean, I can't dance all that well, but if I were a Bird of Paradise, not only would my moves be awesome, but I'd look pretty snazzy, too.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:56 PM on May 10, 2011


Not quite.

Oh well, Mitheral. Guess chicken fucking was animated through the haze of nostalgia.
posted by Gucky at 9:11 PM on May 10, 2011


"I got to that point last Sunday night. Was just about to knock off for the evening when this happened."

Oh man, and now they're pretending that thread is all your responsibility because it started on your shift.

Maybe they'll ask you to find the left handed ban hammer too.
posted by klangklangston at 9:31 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Victory plo chops.
posted by bardic at 11:31 PM on May 10, 2011


{interior crocodile alligator}
posted by nile_red at 11:33 PM on May 10, 2011


The doughnut symbolizes these motherfuckin nuts.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 12:07 AM on May 11, 2011


Do the mods ever win metafilter?

Fuck yeah! Look what they're dealing with, man. They're dealing with fools and trolls. They're dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in their underwear before their first cup of coffee! Hello? WINNING!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 1:24 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Sounds exactly like sys adminning and system engineering. I just spent 3 years of my life tweaking and tuning systems for reliability and performance. And the things is, every time you fix one fucked up config or bad piece of code or whatever, you simply move on to the next problem. The system's never going to be perfect. And if one system gets to "good enough", there are always fresh code drops or new systems to look at.

And at some point you learn to walk out the door after you've done your hours for the week and spend time with your wife and kid, or you or 60 hour weeks until you get divorced and when people ask how your kid is you shrug your shoulders and say, "I dunno, I was meant to see her this weekend, but I got hung up optimising this problem in the middleware stack, you know how it is, there's always one more thing."
posted by rodgerd at 2:36 AM on May 11, 2011


(As an aside to the main conversation, the most influential book on parenting for me was Terry Pratchett's Thud. Yes, that makes me a colossal nerd, I know, but he's absolutely right: when you don't get home because of something important, next thing you know, you aren't home for something "important", and then it's the downward spiral. Unless my employeer is having an actual emergency of the "gonna be a mob of 100,000 customers advancing on HQ with pitchforks and then we go out of business", I go home, have dinner, put my kid to bed. I'll go back to work after that if it's really urgent.)
posted by rodgerd at 2:50 AM on May 11, 2011 [4 favorites]


Mod mods mod mods mod mods buffalo.

Shouldn't that be "Mod mods mod mods mod mod buffalo"?
posted by Johnny Assay at 4:25 AM on May 11, 2011 [4 favorites]


Donuts...when I was at college, I was worrying one night about the feminine counterpart to twinkies as a phallic symbol. After more vodka, I decided it would have to be a bagel with cream cheese and raspberry jam.

Because symbolism parity in common food items is really important, after all.
posted by QIbHom at 5:57 AM on May 11, 2011


I want to be a clouded leopard, because clouded leopards ask for noms so adorably. That is all.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 6:45 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm just trying to find a good used Torus.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:15 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Aww, shoot. *I* wanted to be a clouded leopard.

Okay, can I be a caracal then?
posted by likeso at 7:27 AM on May 11, 2011


Wait, is the the part where we pick our spirit animal? Because if so, I want to be a stalagmite. Or, if that's already taken, a bowling trophy.
posted by quin at 7:40 AM on May 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


Preferably before I started waking up in the middle of the night reciting the rules for what you can and can't write on a hat.

Hey, I still have a hat I got at Disneyland in probably 1988...that has my name spelled wrong. ("Elanie" FTW!) The insult-to-injury part? My friend with the really long name spelled not quite the way it sounds...hers was perfect.

That said, it's still a pretty decent little (yellow!!!!) sunhat.
posted by epersonae at 7:45 AM on May 11, 2011


My spirit animal is The Battle Hymn Of The Republic.
posted by The Whelk at 7:46 AM on May 11, 2011


As someone who paid my $5 membership fee, I can say I didn't fork over that money as a gift. I expect the moderators to always be putting in their utmost. If there are no flagged messages to deal with, etc., well, you know what, that's a good time for the floor of the server room to be mopped. There are always things to do.
posted by Paquda at 8:21 AM on May 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


If there are no flagged messages to deal with, someone better get to postin' some Goatse. I'm looking at you, pb.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:27 AM on May 11, 2011


The donut is a sexual icon, much like the ankh, and symbolizes fucking the emptiness at the heart of human existence.
posted by Crabby Appleton at 9:35 AM on May 11, 2011


I won MetaFilter in a PTA raffle back in 1986. It's been sitting on a shelf in the hall closet ever since. Every once in a while, I see it there when I'm hanging up my coat. I'll pull it down, blow the dust off, give it a quick spin. I think, "Hey, neat! MetaFilter. I forgot I even had that! I mean, MetaFilter: I forgot I even had that! Heh." I tell myself I'm going to give it a good detailing and display it somewhere. Probably the sitting room. Maybe build a special case for it. Really put it to some use. Then I stick it back in the closet and forget about it until the next time I hang up my coat.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:41 AM on May 11, 2011


I'm 99% sure that this is what the mods do all day.

So yeah, they're winning.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 10:00 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]




Also helping me keep perspective is my recent infatuation with Demon's Souls, a 2009 PS3 release so shitblighting hard and unforgiving in its mechanics that getting called a supercensor now and then feels like a hug by comparison.

I cannot recommend it highly enough.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:24 AM on May 11, 2011


I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Ha ha ha ha! Supercensored!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:29 AM on May 11, 2011


I am a LIGER.
posted by Mister_A at 10:38 AM on May 11, 2011


I am curious (whelk).
posted by The Whelk at 10:55 AM on May 11, 2011


(whelk is not a color)
posted by shakespeherian at 10:56 AM on May 11, 2011


(shows what you know)
posted by The Whelk at 10:57 AM on May 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


I am The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Caterpillars like donuts.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:57 AM on May 11, 2011


No, you are the eggman.
posted by The Whelk at 10:58 AM on May 11, 2011


Jesus, go get some lunch.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:59 AM on May 11, 2011


I think you'll like the bread and wine, today, Jesus. Remember: You are what you eat!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:02 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Right this very moment I am waiting for my latte at the local fancy donut place, and I have a maple bacon apple donut and a coconut donut in my pocket n
posted by rtha at 11:02 AM on May 11, 2011


Where did you get the maple bacon apple donut?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:04 AM on May 11, 2011


RTHA YUO ARE NOT HELPING EMAIL DONUT PLZ
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:05 AM on May 11, 2011


Is that a donut in your pocket, or are you happy to see me and also horribly deformed?
posted by shakespeherian at 11:07 AM on May 11, 2011 [4 favorites]


dynamo donuts, which is a tragic four blocks from my house. I really wanted the chocolate-almond-rosemary donut instead of the coconut (sorry, coconut!), but the guy in front of me bought the last one. I felt it would be unseemly to mug him for it.
posted by rtha at 11:11 AM on May 11, 2011


Crap! You're down south. Why did I think you were in Seattle? Now I have to hate you just a little bit. I was going to propose a "Let's steal rtha's maple bacon apple donut" meetup. Now I'll just go refill on company coffee yet again and pout.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:14 AM on May 11, 2011


I felt it would be unseemly to mug him for it.

I believe the word you're looking for is "essential", rather than unseemly. What's unseemly is that I started salivating like Homer Simpson at the mere thought of a chocolate-almond-rosemary doughnut.
posted by EvaDestruction at 11:19 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well, I was in Seattle last month, so I could drink beer at the excellent cask beer festival. Next time I come to town, I will come with donuts. Assuming they're not confiscated by the TSA.

The chocolate almond rosemary donut really is amazing. It's not one of their daily donuts, so I haven't managed to have one in at least a month. I really should have mugged that guy - he bought a dozen donuts, it's not like he'd miss one.
posted by rtha at 11:23 AM on May 11, 2011


I don't see you guys rating the kind of donut I'm contemplating.

I'd let you watch, I would invite you, but the dough we use would not excite you.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 12:32 PM on May 11, 2011 [6 favorites]


I am the walrus. Koo koo kachoo.
posted by Alterscape at 1:20 PM on May 11, 2011


ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
1000 Special Snowflake threads deleted.
posted by panboi at 4:08 PM on May 11, 2011


I have given people the strangest stuff via Metafilter, it's like a very slow moving and obscure swap meet.
posted by The Whelk at 4:17 PM on May 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


it's like a very slow moving and obscure swap meet.

This is exactly it.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:18 PM on May 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


Says the person with my Mom's book thongs.
posted by The Whelk at 5:45 PM on May 11, 2011


d00d! You totally said that out loud!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:48 PM on May 11, 2011


i like book thongs
posted by patheral at 6:17 PM on May 11, 2011


They're better with dip.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:12 AM on May 12, 2011


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