I can't believe it's been two years...how time flies.... June 16, 2011 3:51 AM   Subscribe


You're not making allowances for people who joined MetaFilter late, saw your many husbands, and decided they wanted in on the action.

I feel spurned.
posted by Rory Marinich at 4:14 AM on June 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


I somehow managed to only enspouse one person through that whole frenzy, which makes it look like i'm actually married to Lipstick Thespian. Anyone want some two-year-late schmoopy? I'm up for a few new spouses.
posted by ukdanae at 4:38 AM on June 16, 2011


I approve of this change of heart.
posted by psoas at 4:39 AM on June 16, 2011




Anyone want some two-year-late schmoopy? I'm up for a few new spouses.

Done! I have some friends moving to Edinburgh later this year, and if I ever visit them maybe we can go out for celebratory drinks.
posted by not that girl at 4:44 AM on June 16, 2011


I may be actually getting married if the state senate does the right thing by Friday ....so your last chance to join the manrem and shehubby horde begins now.
posted by The Whelk at 4:50 AM on June 16, 2011 [28 favorites]


I'd definitely go with this over this.
posted by Eideteker at 4:51 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Man-rem?
posted by Eideteker at 4:53 AM on June 16, 2011


The wedding chambers are powered by old soviet reactors deep under the earth.
posted by The Whelk at 4:55 AM on June 16, 2011


Done! I have some friends moving to Edinburgh later this year, and if I ever visit them maybe we can go out for celebratory drinks.

I am well up for that! My husband will just roll his eyes when i tell him I'm off to meet a Metafilter spouse!
posted by ukdanae at 5:00 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


I feel spurned.

Could you bring me another cup of coffee? That's a dear.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:08 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Always the bridesmaid and never the bride.....
posted by gomichild at 5:10 AM on June 16, 2011


Oh, by the way. The Original Spouse (Ralph) just wandered into the room and wants to challenge any alternate spouses to a duel.

Pancakes at 20 paces, maybe, I dunno.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:12 AM on June 16, 2011 [5 favorites]


is this somthin i need to be awake to understand?

a duel? BANG!
we done here?
posted by clavdivs at 5:16 AM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


I pefer a series of competitive tests, maybe in chambers.
posted by The Whelk at 5:18 AM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


I prefer the term co-spouse to alternate, which makes me feel second-class. Tell him he can fix his own damn eggs if he's going to talk to me like that.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:20 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


I think I was on walkabout during the Enspousening. I didn't spouse, and neither was I spoused (except by Brandon "Big Ol' Bigamist" Blatcher, who's cozy that way).
posted by taz at 5:31 AM on June 16, 2011


At the time of the Enspousening, I declared that I was eligible for being spoused as I had always wanted to get married so I could sit at home and let myself go. This gained me many spouses. Ah, if life could only be more like Metafilter.
posted by orange swan at 5:35 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


So if someone spouses me, does that mean they're legally required to give me sex when we're at meetups together? I am just trying to work out if it's the spouser or the spousee who's property of the other person.
posted by Eideteker at 5:38 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Now you're thinking with spouses.
posted by The Whelk at 5:41 AM on June 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


DAAAAAAAD YOU'RE NOT LOOKING!
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 5:47 AM on June 16, 2011


come back when it's five dear.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:52 AM on June 16, 2011


*opens bottle of Champagne**

*actually it's sparkling wine
posted by rtha at 5:57 AM on June 16, 2011


Whelk, good luck!!! I hope they pass that bill :)
posted by zarq at 5:58 AM on June 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


My husband will just roll his eyes when i tell him I'm off to meet a Metafilter spouse!

When I spoused you, I enjoyed a little momentary fantasy of telling my friends, "Well, I'm off! I have to go meet a woman I married on the internet."
posted by not that girl at 6:06 AM on June 16, 2011 [6 favorites]


The cotton anniversary will get you a box of tampons from me. Happy 2nd, Alia!
posted by heyho at 6:08 AM on June 16, 2011 [6 favorites]


Man that thread was fun. I especially liked how I ended up with two spouses just by commenting.

Though now that I have an IRL spouse, I hope things don't get awkward. Fingers crossed that she, like Ralph, can come in time to not find randoms spousings unacceptable.
posted by SpiffyRob at 6:10 AM on June 16, 2011


Oh, by the way. The Original Spouse (Ralph) just wandered into the room and wants to challenge any alternate spouses to a duel.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPH!
posted by liketitanic at 6:19 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


My Army training tells me... that this is going to be a hot mission.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:27 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


SpiffyRob: " Though now that I have an IRL spouse, I hope things don't get awkward. Fingers crossed that she, like Ralph, can come in time to not find randoms spousings unacceptable."

Do what I did: Show your spouse the original thread.

My wife rolled her eyes at it, read some more, chuckled a bit and then got to this comment and laughed her head off. After that, she didn't care. :)
posted by zarq at 6:29 AM on June 16, 2011


The cotton anniversary will get you a box of tampons from me.

Good thing then, that it wasn't the china anniversary - there is no "e" in ming.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:30 AM on June 16, 2011


I'm a n00b, so I have only one (unrequited) spouse. But I totally old-schooled the wedding: just swept and spoused her. My husband was impressed.
posted by likeso at 6:42 AM on June 16, 2011


It would appear that I am always the bridesmaid.
posted by arcticseal at 6:48 AM on June 16, 2011


Not no mo!
posted by heyho at 6:50 AM on June 16, 2011


I'm uncomfortable with incest (not judging, just a personal preference thing) so no hard feelings y'all.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:51 AM on June 16, 2011


I am also happy that St. Alia saw the humor in spousening, as I am enjoying the new tradition of celebrating my current spouses (love ya, sweeties!) while hunting for new ones.
posted by EvaDestruction at 6:51 AM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


articseal, you now have three.
posted by likeso at 6:53 AM on June 16, 2011


If you can't be with the one you love honey love the one you're with
posted by Sailormom at 6:57 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oooh, I would love some new spouses.
posted by medusa at 7:00 AM on June 16, 2011


And I just realized that I typo'ed my new bride. arcticseal, I stand ashamed and confess I don't really deserve to use an iPad.
posted by likeso at 7:03 AM on June 16, 2011


I guess I'm boring. My only spouse is my actual spouse.
posted by desjardins at 7:03 AM on June 16, 2011


During one of the Great MeFi Postcard Swaps I threatened to enspousenate everyone I sent a postcard to or received one from. I didn't, but I should've.
posted by alynnk at 7:05 AM on June 16, 2011


Well, damn, honey. *swoop*
posted by likeso at 7:06 AM on June 16, 2011


I DEMAND SPOUSES FOR MY FEAST OF SKULLS

I'm not sure why we call it that, we just eat pizza
posted by shakespeherian at 7:06 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


desjardins: "I guess I'm boring. My only spouse is my actual spouse."

Easily remedied.

I'll just adjust the babysitting chart....
posted by zarq at 7:06 AM on June 16, 2011 [6 favorites]


Whelky, I just realized I hadn't spoused you, and, well, now I have.

The best way to celebrate anniversaries is:
1. More enspousenating
2. Cake
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 7:08 AM on June 16, 2011


Always a lurker, never a spouse. Sigh.
posted by cmyk at 7:10 AM on June 16, 2011


zarq, we must share her. And her babysitting abilities. (desjardins, you're not allergic to cats, are you? or international travel?)
posted by likeso at 7:12 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


The best way to celebrate anniversaries is:
1. More enspousenating
2. Cake
posted by Weighted Companion Cube


I have reason to believe you may be prevaricating about the second item on that list.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:24 AM on June 16, 2011 [7 favorites]


Okay. I think I just married everybody who seemed to want to marry me. If I've missed anyone, or mistakenly included anyone, quickies are easy!
posted by likeso at 7:26 AM on June 16, 2011


(desjardins, you're not allergic to cats, are you? or international travel?)

Nope, I love cats (I have two) and I love travel, especially if I get to pretend I speak intelligible French. With the week I'm having, I'm ready to pack my bags right now and get away...

zarq: which kid is your favorite? I'll take the other one.
posted by desjardins at 7:33 AM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'm feeling spousey today. Have at it!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:36 AM on June 16, 2011


I have reason to believe you may be prevaricating about the second item on that list.

That is all my mom's doing. This is what caterers are for.
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 7:43 AM on June 16, 2011


desjardins, any wife of mine will always have a place to stay in the Netherlands. (And I can even throw in some folks who speak French.)
posted by likeso at 7:47 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Good fucking god, that was two years ago?! Jesus Christ.
posted by adamdschneider at 7:50 AM on June 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


I'm down to be enspousled.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:52 AM on June 16, 2011


I'm drunk with powerenspousening!

I want you to spouse me as hard as you can!

And be warned, I'm willing to give as good as I get.
posted by owtytrof at 7:56 AM on June 16, 2011


Done. Needed me some husbands.

On a serious note, what is the etiquette regarding contacts and contact types? I've added folks as contacts and simply let them stand if not reciprocated. But if I specified a type in a reciprocated contact which wasn't reciprocated, after a certain amount of time I edited to reflect/remove the type. Is this acceptable to most folks?
posted by likeso at 8:01 AM on June 16, 2011


Hmm. Hadn't realized I had so many spouses. Did I black out in Vegas again?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:21 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


woo! I was spousened! My new spouse's gender is "Three-Martini Diva"; how perfect is that? The perfect union of enspousening and ensousening.
posted by taz at 8:35 AM on June 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


Seriously -- coffee. Look, people. Relationships are supposed to be reciprocal. I mean, I brought the donuts. The least you could do is brew up a pot.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:39 AM on June 16, 2011


I'd completely forgotten that this was our anniversary, spouses, and I feel a little bad about that. But! We're going out for a fancy dinner tonight (we really are), so I hope you enjoy it!

The dinner is because it's my birthday. But one of our - my and gingerbeer's, that is - actual wedding anniversaries is on Sunday, so in my mind, it's for that, too. Yes, we have more than one wedding anniversary.
posted by rtha at 8:42 AM on June 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


I'm uncomfortable with incest (not judging, just a personal preference thing) so no hard feelings y'all.

We are all astral brothers and sisters, which kinda makes this whole thing a little awkward.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:44 AM on June 16, 2011


> Seriously -- coffee. Look, people. Relationships are supposed to be reciprocal. I mean, I brought the donuts. The least you could do is brew up a pot.

Look who's talkin', fool!
posted by heyho at 8:45 AM on June 16, 2011


Relationship status "updated," heyho. You're on the hook now, too.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:48 AM on June 16, 2011


Yeah, yeah, I said 'reciprocated' a bunch. Here's your coffee, Devils Rancher. Espresso alright with you? Swear to god, you'd think we were spoused or somesuch.
posted by likeso at 8:49 AM on June 16, 2011


*sip* "aahhhhhhh" Oh, that's good. God Bless you, Mr. Coffee bean-finder-and-roaster-ancestor guy.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:54 AM on June 16, 2011


You're on the hook now, too.

On the hook? I hope you don't mean what I think you mean, baby. You know it's only you, and it's only ever been you. And my thigh-high, fringed leather boots and extra-small silver bikini are out for repair and/or the cleaners.
posted by heyho at 9:02 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yay, now I'm super-enspousenated! Thanks, legion of spouses!
posted by ukdanae at 9:08 AM on June 16, 2011


HEY. It's rtha's birthday!!

Mention was lost in the Spouse Rush. Happy birthday!!
posted by likeso at 9:24 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


"Hmm. Hadn't realized I had so many spouses. Did I black out in Vegas again?"

Honey, we talked about this. You African-Americaned out in Vegas.

And boy, did you ever.
posted by Eideteker at 9:29 AM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


If anyone's looking for a spouse to spouse, keep in mind that the only thing I really require is compliments on my shirt and tie combinations.
posted by Apropos of Something at 9:30 AM on June 16, 2011


Happy rrrrrthday, rtha!
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:40 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


I just noticed that my only spouse is George Clooney. Heh. I am open to others, though! (bats eyes, does come-hither finger curl, falls off chair)
posted by chowflap at 9:58 AM on June 16, 2011


if one of my spouses would please please for the love of god sort the massive heap of totally clean laundry that's been on the floor of my bedroom since, no lie, September 2010, I would bake them the best goddamn cake ever.
posted by elizardbits at 10:05 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


RTHA IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RTHA
posted by The Whelk at 10:10 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Aw, I remember The Spousening. Haha, that sounds like an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

"Mark Wahlberg, why are all the bees disappearing?"

"Gosh, I don't know, but people are suddenly spousing on MetaFilter, and I bet that's related."

*PERSON SPOUSES OFF A BUILDING*

*ANOTHER PERSON SPOUSES THEMSELVES IN THE HEAD*

"People are spousing in droves! Stay ahead of the wind! Staaaay ahead of the wiiiiiind!"

*SOMEONE SPOUSES THEIR HEAD AGAINST A WINDOW*

"LAST MINUTE TWIST, YOU GUYS! It's the MeFites! The MeFites are getting revenge! They're trying to spouse us out!"

*** YEARS LATER OR WHATEVER ***

"Oh, husband Mark Wahlberg, life's just super again now that you're my only spouse."

[WIND RUSTLES THE MEFITES. IMPLIED FUTURE DISASTER]
posted by katillathehun at 10:13 AM on June 16, 2011 [9 favorites]


Motherspouser!
posted by orange swan at 10:30 AM on June 16, 2011


The good thing about metafilter is that many people can spouse you and you don't have to spouse anyone.

Which means that I get all the flowers!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:32 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


PhoBWanKenobi, was that truth or dare?
posted by likeso at 10:35 AM on June 16, 2011


Little of column A, little of column B.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:36 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Since I seem to be on a kick of doing things contrary to my name, I think I'm going get me some new spouses today.

Secret memo to George Clooney: I've got a special anniversary present for *you*.
posted by ApathyGirl at 10:37 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Done, sugar.
posted by likeso at 10:44 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


I only received a single spouse in the Great Spousening and I don't think he's been faithful. It's possible there are pics on yFrog to prove that.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:48 AM on June 16, 2011


One of my spouses flamed out and closed his account so I believe I'm a MeFi Widow. I might start wearing black to meetups, but I'm afraid I'd just look like a wannabe hipster.
posted by Quietgal at 10:48 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Thank you, The Whelk!

I have my fingers crossed that you will be able to get married! It's fun, and I highly recommend it!
posted by rtha at 11:07 AM on June 16, 2011


I cry at weddings -- I'm such a sentimentalist. I hope that works out too, The Whelk.

I enjoy getting married too, but alas, I don't much enjoy getting divorced at all, so I think I'm all done with the getting married. Enspouselization however, shall continue unabated.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:27 AM on June 16, 2011


Happy Birthday rtha!! And happy anniversary as well!

My fingers are crossed for The Whelk and any other would-be-married New Yorkers. Spouses and anniversaries for all!
posted by grapesaresour at 11:39 AM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


I went from being a loner to having eight spouses. I have been thoroughly enspouseled!

This is gonna make explaining MeFi to my friends extra interesting.

(Would one of you be a dear and change that light bulb I can't reach even when I stand on a chair?)
posted by cmyk at 11:39 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Spouse'm if ya got'em.
posted by owtytrof at 11:54 AM on June 16, 2011


Hey.....has anyone seen Brandon?
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:03 PM on June 16, 2011


*checks under covers

He's not here.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:06 PM on June 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


Maybe he's at the laundromat? Or grocery shopping? I mean, he's got a lot to keep up with!
posted by rtha at 12:28 PM on June 16, 2011


BRANDON HONEY!
posted by clavdivs at 12:56 PM on June 16, 2011


Brandon?
posted by clavdivs at 12:57 PM on June 16, 2011


Whoo I'm a newlywed × 8!
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 1:55 PM on June 16, 2011


Oooh, I want fancy dinner! Actually, I only want fancy dessert but no one will come with me. *sniff*
posted by maryr at 2:11 PM on June 16, 2011


I feel that this week would be vastly improved by spouses. I can bake cakes AND do taxes.
posted by Zophi at 2:13 PM on June 16, 2011


Two years in and I still got the honeymoon blush...

Happy second, spouses all!
posted by freya_lamb at 2:17 PM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


"He's my husband."

"Well, who in the damn galaxy ain't?"
posted by cmyk at 2:50 PM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


I've always thought a few dozen spouses could be handy.
posted by pemberkins at 2:57 PM on June 16, 2011


Ah, the semi-annual spousening.

Last time, my IRL spouse asked me why I was giggling like a ninny. I tried to explain, but she just shook her head and said, "This is one of those MetaFilter* things, isn't it?"

Oh, spice, you're the only ones who truly understand me.

*imagine a tone of voice that conveys forbearance with a slight tinge of concern
posted by lekvar at 3:04 PM on June 16, 2011


lekvar, my husband has the exact same tone! Sometimes i'll start telling him about something really cool I read here and he'll just narrow his eyes and say, "Is this from that Metafilter?"
posted by ukdanae at 3:10 PM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


A belated happy paper anniversary to my spouses, especially Zarq!

How are the twins?
posted by jgirl at 3:56 PM on June 16, 2011


Perky as ever! Wait... what were we talking about, again?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:04 PM on June 16, 2011


Boy, it got quiet in here.


Guess the honeymoon's over?
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:29 PM on June 16, 2011


I'm a bit busy. I'm on 9 honeymoons.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 5:30 PM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


tanqueray, is there.
posted by clavdivs at 5:51 PM on June 16, 2011


Today is also the second anniversary of my wife's death. </downer>
posted by mrbill at 7:20 PM on June 16, 2011


Fuck. I'm so sorry.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:49 PM on June 16, 2011


Consolations mrbill. I'm so sorry.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:56 PM on June 16, 2011


Me too. Hugs...
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:57 PM on June 16, 2011


just stopped in for a little drive-by spousing before midnight...

sorry, mrbill, for your sad anniversary. consolations
posted by toodleydoodley at 8:14 PM on June 16, 2011


I drove eight hours round-trip yesterday to get a book signed (and, to be fair, to listen to a reading and Q&A, which was delightful.) But I get home, look at the inscription, and realize I have just been given a formal blessing in the name of a sex goddess. And I have no spouses. This will not do.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 8:42 PM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


restless_nomad, consider yourself spoused!

mrbioo, sorry to hear that...
posted by tickingclock at 8:51 PM on June 16, 2011


mrbill, it's two years? God. I am hugging you. And pouring you some gin/bourbon/single malt/beer/tea/warm milk, as you like.

(r_n, I have also spoused you.)
posted by rtha at 8:59 PM on June 16, 2011


i want some spouses toooooooooooooooooooooo !
posted by liketitanic at 9:02 PM on June 16, 2011


Aw, mrbill, hugs.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:08 PM on June 16, 2011


My head is spinning, I went from 0 to 9 spouses overnight! Not sure how I'm going to explain this to Mrs A. but I'm sure cake will be involved (or donuts). Love to you all.

One of my spouses flamed out and closed his account so I believe I'm a MeFi Widow.
I feel your pain, I lost my only MeFi sibling, sniff.
posted by arcticseal at 9:11 PM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Dang, mrbill, my meagre enspousening is all I have to offer, except this here hug. Sorry, dude.

*strength*
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:24 PM on June 16, 2011


mrbill, condolences, hugs from afar.
posted by arcticseal at 9:33 PM on June 16, 2011


Messages espoused, implied, hinted, replied.

Plaid flowers and pretty ducks causing raucous reliable babbling, dabbling - indirectly selecting, memory foam for breakfast, following precedent of the silver chained necklace.

Executive choices, fleeting ebuliance at passing celebratory voices.
Sorrow and joy, two sides of the same broken toy, no laughing game involved.
Hearts axis tilted, lovers never jilted, just drift apart one day, may you never wish to say you gave that gift away, as if by force like angular momentum, around another entwined, by resolute resolve, remain to revolve.

While faces outside the window are fogging up the pane, looking in confused, wishing for the outlet, the one, their moon, turned away, refused. Swoon.
Approved in pain, who can tear apart two people when by cumulative gravity... they yet remain?

Because a card laid is a card played, queens, in jacks or better and trips to win.

Hearts pieces in checkmate, as one part implied, replayed, memory imparted, departed 'fore we met, static rendering of dynamic choices, fate destiny or mysterious ways, vitality, no need of passion plays, it's reruns some days, the next, firefly is cancelled; a particle of a person, electrons traveling 'cross neurons, chemical memories, scent, sight and sounds, internally evolved, no externalities involved.
Two bodies in space, masses made by selection, obey one rule; around, in orbit: you both must revolve.

Trains roll overthread, overhead, unheard, moonlight dances blue dim-bright like broken semaphore transmissions by led light. Garments rended, hearts, and embarrassed faces reddened, may the broken hearts find stitches, endure, ending mended: mass marriage papers readied.

Mystery solved.
.
posted by infinite intimation at 9:39 PM on June 16, 2011 [5 favorites]


It took me an hour, but I have enspoused nearly everyone in this thread. Nothing is too good for you darlings!
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:04 PM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'm on an enspousening spree!

On preview, condolences & hugs to mrbill. I hope the community here has been some small comfort. xo
posted by Space Kitty at 12:38 AM on June 17, 2011


I was spoused about 6 months ago, didn't know the user so it passed me by at the time, however I now appear to have no spouse. I feel terrible - I clearly neglected them so badly they divorced me, without my even noticing.

Has anyone else been divorced without their knowledge? I feel like I might need to start a support group.
posted by greenish at 1:59 AM on June 17, 2011


I have no spouses, and two of my three mutual contacts are now disabled (neither of which I had realized until just about now). I'm bummed.
posted by This Guy at 5:34 AM on June 17, 2011


This Guy, join my support group. There is tea, cake, and sympathetic hugs, plus ill-advised rebound spousing.
posted by greenish at 6:17 AM on June 17, 2011


Sincere condolences, mrbill.

and thanks, all you new spouses - don't flame out on me now, y'all hear?
posted by Quietgal at 6:53 AM on June 17, 2011


Not many people spoused me. rtha spoused me but that's because she's lovely and she knows how wonderful I am. I'm open to spousing. Well, not in real life. But I'll favourite for a spouse, that's for sure.
posted by h00py at 7:20 AM on June 17, 2011


jgirl: " How are the twins?"

Happy anniversary!

They're good, thanks! Chatterboxes. :)

I had an... interesting... conversation with my daughter this morning. Each day, we've been trying to increase their vocabulary a little. Today I tried something from Metafilter....

"Can you say "spouse?"
"Spouth."
"Spowsss"
"Spouth!"
"No, no, sound it out: Sssss-pow-sss"
"Sssspowsss!"
"Great! Do you know what that means?"
"Yeah."
"What does it mean?"
"I don't know."
"Well, Mommy and Daddy are married, so we're spouses."
"What's marree?"
"Well... you know my ring, right? Mommy has one just like it. And Daddy and Mommy gave each other those rings because we love each other very much. Mommy and Daddy are married. That means we belong to each other."
"Like [her brother] belong to me?"
"Um, not exactly, no. Soooo.... Mommy and Daddy are married, and when you're married you are spouses."
"But Mommy is your best friend. You can't be... uh... what's that word again Daddy?"
"Spouses. Can you say spouses?
"No." *giggles* "You're marree and Mommy is marree. Like me and [her brother.]"
"Married. No, you and your brother are not married. Brothers and sisters don't get married. Well, not in this state. Um... look, Mommy and Daddy are married. Mommy is my wife. I am Mommy's husband. Can you say 'wife'?"
"Wife. Mommy's a princess, like me!"
"Um... ok well, can you say, husband?"
"Huthband!"
"And Mommy and Daddy are husband and wife and also spouses!"
"Uh huh. Like me and [her brother]."
My wife comes into the room: "What is Daddy teaching you?"
"I don't know, Mommy. He's being silly. Can I have grilled cheese for breakfast?"


Perhaps I'll try an easier word tomorrow.
posted by zarq at 7:24 AM on June 17, 2011 [13 favorites]


MrBill, my deepest condolences. :(
posted by zarq at 7:25 AM on June 17, 2011


Thanks new spouses. Now, if you wouldn't mind...

I'm a polygamist becuase I love America.
posted by Apropos of Something at 7:41 AM on June 17, 2011


I was still feeling spousy this morning, so not only have I recipro-spoused, I ambush-spoused the rest of y'all. If I missed anyone, feel free to revenge-spouse me.

spouse spouse spouse spouse spouse
posted by owtytrof at 7:59 AM on June 17, 2011 [2 favorites]


^goodmorning sweetheart, your doing a fine job.

St. Alia, i was grouchy yesterday, which husband did I deck? Well, I made casserole.
posted by clavdivs at 8:11 AM on June 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


*MWAH!*
posted by owtytrof at 8:29 AM on June 17, 2011


All these spouses and not a single one of ya'll made me breakfast in bed. Had to eat my sad little Rice Krispies all by myself.
Boooooooo. Ya'll are sleeping on the couch tonight.

(Don't worry. I am *awesome* at the make-up canoodling.)
posted by ApathyGirl at 12:03 PM on June 17, 2011 [4 favorites]


I'm known for awesome massages and getting up early to bring biscuits and gravy for breakfast in bed (if you don't mind B&G from Whataburger or Chick-Fil-A). Now I just need a willing recipient.
posted by mrbill at 1:16 PM on June 17, 2011


My husband loves biscuits and gravy for breakfast!

(that's not what you meant, is it?)
posted by desjardins at 1:24 PM on June 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


Because I am a compulsive worrier about protocol, I apologize to anybody who spoused me more than 6.5 hours ago whom I didn't reciprocally spouse. Memail and I'll make it right, baby, I promise!
posted by toodleydoodley at 2:35 PM on June 17, 2011


(Don't worry. I am *awesome* at the make-up canoodling.)

I read this as meetup. Then I giggled.
posted by arcticseal at 5:30 PM on June 17, 2011 [3 favorites]


Thanks new spouses. Now, if you wouldn't mind...

Oh Honey, you can just take it off right now...
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:02 PM on June 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


Goddamn, I'm really into this whole polygamy thing right now. MEFI-SPOUSE-BOT, ASSEMBLE!
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 11:08 PM on June 17, 2011 [2 favorites]


Yes, I have opened my heart to enspouse the yes of y'all who showed up after my mass enspousification late last night.

...now is it "spouses" or "spice"?
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:09 PM on June 17, 2011


I'm pretty sure we should go with spice. How else am I gonna navigate this starship?
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 11:17 PM on June 17, 2011


I'LL TURN IT AROUND SO HELP ME.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 11:17 PM on June 17, 2011


Welp, I think I'm spliced. Er, spiced.

By dosing the spousing, I'm beginning honeymoons every single day.
posted by likeso at 8:41 AM on June 18, 2011


It's spices, pronounced speeses, in homage to Pixie, Dixie & Mr. Jinks.
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:44 AM on June 18, 2011


I just enspousened some people, because hey, I'm a romantic -- and wasn't "Seven Spouses for Seven Usernames" a musical or something?
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 11:19 AM on June 18, 2011


"Plaid flowers and pretty ducks causing raucous reliable babbling" Citation Needed

Goose Goose Goose Goose Goose Goose Goose Goose Goose Goose Goose Goose Tiger Duck.

Self-links, variation on a theme and the game Goose Goose Duck
posted by infinite intimation at 1:35 PM on June 19, 2011


Or, of course, folks can just lose track or run out of time or lose connectivity or not want to push or don't quite know what others may want or get shy at random moments.
But enjoy mefites and interaction.
Speaking for myself.
posted by likeso at 3:56 PM on June 19, 2011


I wasn't going to do this again, but I'm proud of the thrifting I did this weekend.

The mechanical pencil in my pocket is "an accessory."
posted by Apropos of Something at 6:13 AM on June 20, 2011


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