FTFY is annoying August 24, 2011 11:32 AM   Subscribe

Can we please, as a community, try to not use FTFY on each other when in the heat of debate?

I know it's easy to add the strike-through or bold tag and make up something that seems witty to counter another comment, or to make some kind of reductive re-statement. But, unless it's very clearly light hearted and not about a contentious subject please consider not doing this. Perhaps it would be good for one wait twenty minutes if he/she got the urge to slap a FTFY on someone else's words and then see later if it still seems like a brilliant idea.

There. Thank you for reading. You may now commence with the FTFY jokes if you must.
posted by Horselover Phattie to Etiquette/Policy at 11:32 AM (185 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

Can we please, as a community, try to not use FTFY on each other as much with possible when in the heat of debate?




HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH LOOK WHAT I DID
posted by nathancaswell at 11:34 AM on August 24, 2011 [16 favorites]


as much with possible

noooooo i always fuck it up
posted by nathancaswell at 11:35 AM on August 24, 2011 [28 favorites]


Man, I'm looking forward to 2:52...
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:38 AM on August 24, 2011


Yeah, agreed. It's a pretty weak way to make a point.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 11:38 AM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


I hate it in a real debate, but I still find it hilarious it when people take it to ridiculous extremes, which they can only do if somebody starts it in earnest, so I guess I'm on the fence for this one.
posted by Shepherd at 11:39 AM on August 24, 2011


I parse FTFY and "fuck this & fuck you". It may not technically accurate, but it succeeds at conveying the intended tone.
posted by 2bucksplus at 11:39 AM on August 24, 2011 [44 favorites]


Oh, yeah, I already removed those before I even saw this post.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:39 AM on August 24, 2011


You may now commence with the FTFY jokes if you must.

Thank you for giving the rest of the community your permission.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:40 AM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


"I parse FTFY and "fuck this & fuck you"."

You're close.
posted by Eideteker at 11:41 AM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


You're welcome!
posted by Horselover Phattie at 11:41 AM on August 24, 2011


Thank you for giving the rest of the corporation your pension.

FTFY.
posted by iamabot at 11:42 AM on August 24, 2011


WTFTFY?
posted by Elmore at 11:42 AM on August 24, 2011


If you're a Christian, just ask yourself WWJFFY.
posted by Shepherd at 11:43 AM on August 24, 2011 [13 favorites]


WWJFYF?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:44 AM on August 24, 2011


Damn it Shepherd
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:45 AM on August 24, 2011


(which is also a response from Jesus's day)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:45 AM on August 24, 2011 [16 favorites]


I totally agree with this. It's a really disrespectful way to argue.
posted by grouse at 11:46 AM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


FTFY
posted by griphus at 11:47 AM on August 24, 2011 [7 favorites]


Oh, yeah, I already removed those before I even saw this post.

JFTFY
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:49 AM on August 24, 2011 [3 favorites]


Jessamyn Fixed That For You
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:50 AM on August 24, 2011 [8 favorites]


I totally agree with this that cilantro is awesome. It's a really disrespectful way to argue quite a turn on and I use it often with chicken(s).
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:50 AM on August 24, 2011 [3 favorites]


> quite a turn on and I use it often with chicken(s)

Gonzo?
posted by Horselover Phattie at 11:51 AM on August 24, 2011 [4 favorites]

Perhaps it would be good for one to wait twenty minutes if he/she got the urge to slap a FTFY on someone else's words and then see later if it still seems like a brilliant idea.
FTFY.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:52 AM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also, at least two people who have commented in this thread had commetns removed from that thread, so I have to re-suggest flagging and moving on [or emailing IM-ing a mod] as a good way to be the change you want to see on MetaFilter.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:54 AM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


I totally agree with this that cilantro is awesome. It's a really disrespectful way to argue quite a turn on and weird thing but apparently some people lack the enzyme needed to digest it or something and to them it tastes like soap! I use it often with chicken(s). Poor bastards!

posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:50 AM on August 24 [+] [!]

posted by From Bklyn at 11:55 AM on August 24, 2011


Moderation in all things, at least in a sampling large and inclusive enough so as to be statistically meaningful, is recommended. Otherwise, push the big yellow Unicorn button.
posted by y2karl at 11:57 AM on August 24, 2011


I have to suggest pantsless posting as a good way to be the change you want to see on MetaFilter.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:58 AM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


Also, at least two people who have commented in this thread had commetnscomments removed from that thread

FTFY (note use of the ins element for insertions instead of bold). But what thread?
posted by grouse at 11:58 AM on August 24, 2011


posted by Brandon Blatcher Mr. Damn Handsome at 11:50 AM on August 24 [+] [!]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:58 AM on August 24, 2011


I know it's easy to add the strike-through or bold tag and make up something that seems witty to counter another comment, or to make some kind of reductive re-statement. But, unless it's very clearly Oh, FAMOUS MONSTER, you are such a wonder! Everyone loves you and wants to be very best pals with you. I shall be mailing you candy at my earliest convenience light hearted and not about a contentious subject please consider not doing this. Perhaps it would be good for one wait twenty minutes if he/she got the urge to slap a FTFY on someone else's words and then see later if it still seems like a brilliant idea.

Fixed that for you.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 11:59 AM on August 24, 2011 [9 favorites]


Fixed that for you a strong drink and the steaks are just about done.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:02 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


Thanks!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:04 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


So, DTMFFTFYA, then?
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:05 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


I have to suggest posting pantsless pictures as a good way to be the change you want to see on MetaFilter.

FTFY
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:06 PM on August 24, 2011


Can we also stop talking about dream jobs and falling in love with things like music or tv shows?

Raising your expectations to that level can only end in disappointment.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:09 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also, "Soul Crushing". Yeah your job sucks but stop making those of us with no soul to crush feel bad!
posted by Ad hominem at 12:12 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


Isn't "Feeling Bad" the dream job of the Soulless?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:16 PM on August 24, 2011


I concur. I'm very busy not using FTFY right now.
posted by chairface at 12:17 PM on August 24, 2011


As Sartre said, hell is other people. Everything you do that I don't do, and everything you do better than I do, is really annoying. Also:

1. This.

2. Special snowflake anythings.

3. So.

4. That is all (except you, Hodgeman; that one is all you).
posted by Admiral Haddock at 12:18 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


Try as I might, experience shows that I can't always be as good a boy as others would like me to be, but at least I have managed to cut back my apologies for this to a bare minimum.
posted by paulsc at 12:21 PM on August 24, 2011


How is "fuck this and fuck you" turned into a joke? I have no idea what this is about.
posted by Ardiril at 12:21 PM on August 24, 2011


Isn't "Feeling Bad" the dream job of the Soulless?

No soul to crush, feels bad man.

That is all

"That Is All" is the "'nuff said" of the 21st century. So annoying.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:22 PM on August 24, 2011


It's a crusty old cliche, unfunny and pointlessly hostile.

It'd be nice to get some variety in our stale old jokes. I have refuted your argument! All your base are belong to us!
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 12:22 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


Fuck this and Fuck you! Now let me give you a hug.
Jesus that's confusing.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:23 PM on August 24, 2011


Thanks. FTFY is an even more obnoxious rhetorical device than my personal nemesis, "Oh wait".
posted by dfan at 12:23 PM on August 24, 2011 [3 favorites]


Yeah, I put in a sarcastic FTFY thing in that thread and I hit post and I shouldn't have and it was rightly deleted. Sorry for making more work.
posted by rtha at 12:24 PM on August 24, 2011


WTFWJD
posted by shakespeherian at 12:24 PM on August 24, 2011


And What fucking thread is getting all fixed up? Fuckity fuck.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:25 PM on August 24, 2011


* Makes mental note to start doing it*.

Say no to the Snark Police.
posted by Decani at 12:33 PM on August 24, 2011


A clue.
posted by Meta Filter at 12:34 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


really annoying. Also:
1. This.
2. Special snowflake anythings.
3. So.
4. That is all (except you, Hodgeman; that one is all you).


what

(that one still good?)
posted by Glinn at 12:36 PM on August 24, 2011


Nah.

All the cool peeps do it like this.

really annoying. Also:
1. This.
2. Special snowflake anythings.
3. So.
4. That is all (except you, Hodgeman; that one is all you).

Wut?
posted by Ad hominem at 12:44 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


Dumb me. I see what it means now. Can't say, though, that I have seen it used *that* often.
posted by Ardiril at 12:45 PM on August 24, 2011


Hug this and hug you?
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:47 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


I actually like the what/wut.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 12:50 PM on August 24, 2011


FTFY i don't like.

its weak.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:51 PM on August 24, 2011


really annoying. Also:
1. This.
2. Special snowflake anythings.
3. So.
4. That is all (except you, Hodgeman; that one is all you).

This.

I'll also add the word "grar."
posted by Threeway Handshake at 12:51 PM on August 24, 2011 [5 favorites]


'Really'
posted by From Bklyn at 12:54 PM on August 24, 2011


Man, I'm looking forward to 2:52...

Not me. I'm waiting for 11:30.
posted by steambadger at 12:56 PM on August 24, 2011


I like "grar", but I don't like "schmoopy." Coincidentally, I also like grar and I don't like schmoopy. But I was never held as a child, and my idiosyncrasies should be celebrated (special snowflake).
posted by Admiral Haddock at 1:01 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


FTFY is passive aggressive bullshit. Having said that I don't mind people doing it. It's a minor annoyance in the Great Cosmic Scheme of Things.
posted by Splunge at 1:02 PM on August 24, 2011


If I remember correctly, Fark (excuse me) hated 'first post' so much there was an automatic filter that changed it to 'boobies'. May I suggest that FTFY could be automatically changed to "See what a pompous git I am".
posted by b33j at 1:03 PM on August 24, 2011


Can we you please, as a community, try to not use FTFY on each other me when in the heat of debate?

FTF...


oh fuck it.
posted by mazola at 1:03 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


FTFTMFWFTFMWIWFTFY

fixed that for the mother fucker who fixed that for me whlie I was fixing that for you
posted by davejay at 1:05 PM on August 24, 2011


FIFTY?
posted by Debaser626 at 1:09 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


Somewhere, it's MD 20/20 o'clock.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:11 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


I know it's easy to add the strike-through or bold tag...

Cite, please.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:11 PM on August 24, 2011




Also, at least two people who have commented in this thread had commetns removed from that thread, so I have to re-suggest flagging and moving on [or emailing IM-ing a mod] as a good way to be the change you want to see on MetaFilter.


What thread?
posted by sweetkid at 1:14 PM on August 24, 2011


Cite, please.
posted by Babblesort at 1:16 PM on August 24, 2011


[citation needed] is even worse than "cite, please," which can be charitably construed as conversation. [citation needed] is just utterly dismissive. Hate it.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:20 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


This thread. I have been told that I need to "get over myself" and so I'm going to go do that.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:21 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


I think FTFY is slightly acceptable when you mostly agree with the person and want to broaden their point, but it would be better if you just used your words.
posted by empath at 1:26 PM on August 24, 2011


I have been told that I need to "get over myself" get a jetpack installed, along laser beam eyes and so I'm going to go do that.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:28 PM on August 24, 2011 [5 favorites]


[citation needed] is even worse than "cite, please," which can be charitably construed as conversation. [citation needed] is just utterly dismissive. Hate it.

Personally, I prefer to randomly sprinkle quoted text with "(sic)".

But that's just me.
posted by steambadger at 1:28 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


I really wish metafilter had certain novelty accounts. Like a I_PROVIDE_CITES who goes around finding "cite please" and digs up totally conclusive cites in respone.
posted by Ad hominem at 1:31 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


So, we all get one vote on words/phrases/jokes/memes that we can't use, and everyone else has to comply.. That eliminates about 130,000 words/phrases/jokes/and-or memes.

there lies madness, and boring-ass discussions.
posted by tomswift at 1:37 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


I_PROVIDE_CITES

FTFY
posted by Fresh Hot Cites, $20, SAIT at 1:41 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


That eliminates about 130,000 words/phrases/jokes/and-or memes.

You say that like it's a bad thing.
posted by empath at 1:43 PM on August 24, 2011


I know it's easy to add the strike-through or bold tag mix self-raising flour, tapioca flour and sugar and make up something that seems witty to counter another comment a solution of yeast with warm milk, stirring well. Add into the flour mixture and stir until well combined, or to make some kind of reductive re-statement mixture by adding in the eggs one by one while stirring continuously until well combined. But, unless it's very clearly light hearted and not about a contentious subject enclosed using warm wet tea towel please consider not doing this putting it in a warm oven. Perhaps it would be good for one to wait twenty minutes if he/she got the urge to slap a FTFY on someone else's words until it is bubbling on top and then see later if it still seems like a brilliant idea about dividing the mixture into four. Heat a teflon skillet (20 cm / 8 inch diameter) with low heat, grease the skillet with margarine. Pour in one part of the mixture. Put on the lid (best using glass lid as you could see what happen inside). Cook for about 10 minutes or until the top is full with holes and dry. Sprinkle some sugar, put on the lid for 5 seconds and take it away from the heat. Take out from the skillets and put onto a flat surface, grease the top with some margarine. Drizzle with sweet condensed milk, sprinkle with coarse ground peanuts, shredded cheese, chocolate sprinkle. Fold into half circle, spread the outside skin with margarine again and cut into 8 pieces.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:48 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


HE FIX IT FOR ME !
posted by mazola at 1:49 PM on August 24, 2011


So, we all get one vote on words/phrases/jokes/memes that we can't use, and everyone else has to comply.

You might at least take a moment to reflect upon what you consider meaningful conversation, and what is just dismissive sniping before you type. I think that's as much at issue as the particular turn of phrase used to accomplish the ends. That, and the whole ftfy thing is just old.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:50 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


> Fold into half circle, spread the outside skin with margarine again and cut into 8 pieces.

FTFYcakes!
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:00 PM on August 24, 2011


Kramp Easy Lube
posted by Splunge at 2:06 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


FMMFY (=martabak manis)
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:10 PM on August 24, 2011


2bucksplus: "I parse FTFY and "fuck this & fuck you". It may not technically accurate, but it succeeds at conveying the intended tone"

Me too! Hugs.
posted by barnacles at 2:15 PM on August 24, 2011


Please don't take my "Wut." "Wut" is "What" said in a dazed, perplexed way; you are so stunned you can barely be coherent, like being smashed in the face with a metaphorical frying pan so that your brain has started to leak out your ears.

Its best friend is "Meh." "Meh" is when you are finding something so dull you cannot even summon up the energy to form words expressing your level of disinterest. It's like opening your mouth to yawn and finding it is not worth the effort to continue so you just close it again. Not quite a burp, not quite a word, but a "bord" that signals you are bored.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 2:15 PM on August 24, 2011 [3 favorites]


AAAAA++++ WOULD HAVE THAT FIXED FOR ME AGAIN

man, it has been ages since I used that old chestnut.
posted by GuyZero at 2:28 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


but a "bord" that signals you are bored.

And cue the Iggy Pop.
posted by GuyZero at 2:29 PM on August 24, 2011


Back in the 20th century, I bought a DVD of Dune from someone on eBay. After the gratuitious As and plusses, the review read "IF I HAD A CHILD I WOULD SELL IT TO THIS USER."

So. Yeah.
posted by griphus at 2:30 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


FTFY

Fetuffy.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:46 PM on August 24, 2011


Can't tell if that's an endorsement or not. The real question is, would you buy a child from this user?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:47 PM on August 24, 2011


Snowflakes and cites and grar, oh my!
posted by Kirth Gerson at 2:48 PM on August 24, 2011


I keep meaning to compile a list of terms/phrases/grammatical constructions that annoy MeFi users as a personal reminder to use them more often.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:08 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


I think getting rid of FTFY and it's friends and relations is unlikely, but I think respectful, thoughtful, intelligent discourse is a fine thing, a thing to strive for, and I like it when I find it on MeFi. I may not find it all the time, but more often here than most websites that allow comments.

Now, please return to the delightful silliness.
posted by theora55 at 3:09 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


In Soviet Russia, that fixes you!
posted by Zozo at 3:12 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is just to say

I have fixed the snowflake
that was in the meme box
and which you were probably saving for schmoopy

Forgive me
it was not special;
so
wut
and so
grar
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:19 PM on August 24, 2011 [8 favorites]


posted by Fresh Hot Cites, $20, SAIT

If I wanted to toss away 5 bucks I would so register My name is Schneider, I fix things around here. Anyway, I'm offering the idea for free, so you wanna-be Schneiders out there, help yourselves.
posted by octobersurprise at 3:29 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


If I wanted to toss away 5 bucks I would so register My name is Schneider , I fix things around here.

FTFY
posted by Schneider at 3:48 PM on August 24, 2011 [3 favorites]


Back in the 20th century, I bought a DVD of Dune from someone on eBay. After the gratuitious As and plusses, the review read "IF I HAD A CHILD I WOULD SELL IT TO THIS USER."

Dude, I do not remember a copy of Dune, but I did do quite a bit of this before:

User harassed me with phone calls and flowers, but transaction went well! A+

Product burned my hand, but user said sorry and gave me 10% refund! A++

Taking this to the post office was the last favor my girlfriend did. I hope you enjoy this, homewrecker.

Expedited shipping is always an A+ even if user sells your address to thieves! A+

All sorts of wacky stuff like that. eBay made me stop.
posted by hal_c_on at 3:55 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


death to shmoopy
posted by philip-random at 4:18 PM on August 24, 2011


> death to shmoopy

Oh, indeed.

/Omar
posted by Horselover Phattie at 4:21 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


I just want it known for the record that cilantro is nasty. And that the previous sentence is perfect and needs no fixing.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:31 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


Miss Jackson?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:43 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


I just want it known for the record that cilantro is nasty.
posted by shii at 4:45 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


Let's just drop the letter F altogether. No more favorites flags or FTFY. That leaves twenty-five perfectly usable letters to argue with.
posted by Sailormom at 4:48 PM on August 24, 2011


Luckily for you, I don't know HTML.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:57 PM on August 24, 2011


I just tried whipahol for the first time. It was OK. If you put it on top of Whipped Cream Flavored vodka would it make a tasty cocktail or would a hole open up in the universe, sucking us all in?
posted by jonmc at 5:00 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


That's just wrong, Jon. Ugh. Whipahol should be reserved for deep fried beer.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:55 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]

All sorts of wacky stuff like that. eBay made me stop.
So, you've always been a troll?
posted by MrMoonPie at 5:57 PM on August 24, 2011 [3 favorites]


Someone did this to something I wrote that turned what I said into something blatantly racist rather than the possible ignorance of white privilege. It went from "You may not be aware as a white dude" to "Shut it you racist cracker." It was at this point that I vowed to never FTFY for anyone even if I thought it was clever, mild and funny.

The FTFY made me thing this individual was a raging asshole. So if that was his intent more power to him, but unless the point is to point out to the world one's dickishness it's best to avoid the FTFY IMHO.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:57 PM on August 24, 2011


OK, enough, enough. Let's talk about "Enjoy!"
posted by Ardiril at 6:12 PM on August 24, 2011


What's that, a new fragrance or something?
posted by jonmc at 6:20 PM on August 24, 2011


The FTFY made me thingk this individual was a raging asshole.
posted by brain_drain at 6:21 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


"Let's just drop the letter F altogether.."

And end up with a shit load of "uck you" all over??? Uck no!
posted by tomswift at 7:15 PM on August 24, 2011


tomswift: So, we all get one vote on words/phrases/jokes/memes that we can't use, and everyone else has to comply

IRFH: This is just to say...

My vote is to get rid of all parodies/imitations/variations of William Carlos Williams' "This Is Just To Say."
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:15 PM on August 24, 2011 [7 favorites]


Cortex will cut you.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:27 PM on August 24, 2011


Don't know about anyone else but any reference to "The Overton Window" is really starting to piss me off.
posted by Poet_Lariat at 7:38 PM on August 24, 2011


That might just be you. The inane book by Glenn Beck notwithstanding, it's still a fairly useful term to employ when talking about popular politics.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 7:45 PM on August 24, 2011


Don't know about anyone else but any reference to "The Overton Window" is really starting to piss me off.

Its like 'Kidding on the square' and a few psychological diagnosis - something a bunch of MeFites read about and try to shoehorn into every conversation.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:48 PM on August 24, 2011


I hate "FTFY". It's lazy, a tactic of intellectual weaklings. I'd be very happy to never see it here again.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:04 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'd be very happy to never see it here again

Jim'll Fix That For You
posted by The Discredited Ape at 8:38 PM on August 24, 2011


Jim'll Fix That For You

... and it's gonna be too bad, Jim.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:16 PM on August 24, 2011


I only like "FTFY" when the result is funny.
posted by _paegan_ at 9:22 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


And end up with a shit load of "uck you" all over??? Uck no!
posted by tomswift at 7:15 PM on August 24 [+] [!]


Yeah. There's already too many mother-uckers ucking with my shi.
posted by guster4lovers at 9:30 PM on August 24, 2011


I eel or you, my riend.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:44 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


Some things are just uneffable.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:53 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


I always equate FTFY with "You do the math." Whenever I hear someone say "You do the math" I always feel like they're implying "You do the math DUMBASS" but not saying all of it.
posted by Daddy-O at 10:02 PM on August 24, 2011


My vote is to get rid of all parodies/imitations/variations of William Carlos Williams' "This Is Just To Say."

Impossible. Unlimited supply.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:14 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]



My vote is to get rid of all parodies/imitations/variations of William Carlos Williams' "This Is Just To Say."

Impossible. Unlimited supply.


Yeah, I never got why that was a meme. If you're going to a parody a poem (you shouldn't) why not Howl or Prufrock?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:16 PM on August 24, 2011


yeah, 'Howl at Proof Rock' was at great epic adventure poem.
posted by From Bklyn at 10:18 PM on August 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


Why do people hate ftfy? I get that it's mildly annoying, but not how it's a big deal.
posted by J. Wilson at 11:00 PM on August 24, 2011


J.Wilson, it was mildly annoying the first 50 or so times it was used, now, a hundred million ftfy's later, not so mildly annoying as "Don't these people have any other expressions in their vocabularies?"
posted by Lynsey at 11:13 PM on August 24, 2011


So it goes.
posted by Ardiril at 12:07 AM on August 25, 2011


Why do people hate ftfy? I get that it's mildly annoying, but not how it's a big deal.
posted by philip-random at 12:11 AM on August 25, 2011


Well that didn't work. Let's try it again.

Why do people hate ftfy? I get that it's mildly annoying, but not how it's a big deal.
posted by philip-random at 12:14 AM on August 25, 2011


Every time I see "FTFY" (and I've been guilty of using it myself), brain hears "fiddy" and veers off into the Loss Ness Monster with Chef's parents.
posted by likeso at 2:27 AM on August 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


yeah, *Loch
posted by likeso at 2:31 AM on August 25, 2011


Fix it your own fucking self.
posted by Ardiril at 2:37 AM on August 25, 2011


Why, thank you Ardiril, I did.
posted by likeso at 2:51 AM on August 25, 2011


You do the fixing.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:56 AM on August 25, 2011


Yeah. There's already too many mother-uckers ucking with my shi.

How many mother-uckers?
posted by SpiffyRob at 4:13 AM on August 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


If we're complaining about phrases that annoy us, here's one of mine: Some people trying to be (un)even-handed who present more than two aspects of a situation have taken to saying "on the one hand, ... on the other hand, ... on the gripping hand ..." I really wish they would not do that. It is a contrived reference to a pretty bad book.

Just sayin'
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:30 AM on August 25, 2011


You do the fixing.

As we used to say down in Alabammy:

"You fixin' to go?"
"Yep. I'm headed down to Mobile."
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:44 AM on August 25, 2011


Why do people hate ftfy?

Because we're all adults here and can write what we mean. I don't need people rewriting my words and then attributing them to me. FTFY is saying, "What you really mean by those words is..." If you want to write something else go ahead, but to rewrite someone else's words and then coyly pretend that you're not standing behind what's written, you didn't say that, you're just correcting what the original person meant.

It's gutless and lazy.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:34 AM on August 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


FTFY CENT FIXES YOUR POST WITH A BULLET DAWG

or something like that -- I'm not actually all that clear on who Fifty Cent is.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:59 AM on August 25, 2011


twin brother is two-bits.
posted by clavdivs at 6:25 AM on August 25, 2011


If you're going to a parody a poem (you shouldn't)

Anthony Hecht would like a word with you.

why not Howl or Prufrock?

Because those poems are funny enough on their own.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:27 AM on August 25, 2011


Yeah, I never got why that was a meme. If you're going to a parody a poem (you shouldn't) why not Howl or Prufrock?

Why do people write silly haiku instead of silly sestinas?

There's something to be said about recognizability and accessibility; This Is Just To Say has the advantage of being quite short, and memorable in and for its specific form, and it lends itself to easy modification.

By contrast, Howl is like three thousand words, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock probably a thousand, both sprawling things in thick stanzas. Writing on-the-nose parodies of either would be a chore long after the joke had stopped breathing and gone green for all but the most exceptional satirists, and then only for the benefit of people had memorized the original word for word. Nice work if you can get it, but it's far more niche still than parodying William Carlos Williams, which is itself already a fairly specific sort of silliness.

That said, people certainly do goof on Howl and on Prufrock, at least in bits, so the core question is a bit silly: why not indeed? People do do that as well.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:49 AM on August 25, 2011


I agree, stop with the FTFY, more because it's stale than annoying.

But really, the important issue that we're dancing around:

"This."

Stop it. Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop. I cannot afford to keep throwing iPads against the wall over this one. "This." is something a stupid person who doesn't have the capacity for an original thought would say. "I don't have anything meaningful to say here, but I'm going say something anyway." I mean it, if it doesn't stop I'm going to start fucking shit up around here.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:05 AM on August 25, 2011


no not really, but I really do find it annoying, so if you care about me, please refrain, thanx
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:07 AM on August 25, 2011


"This." is something a stupid person who doesn't have the capacity for an original thought would say. "I don't have anything meaningful to say here, but I'm going say something anyway." I mean it, if it doesn't stop I'm going to start fucking shit up around here.

That.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:40 AM on August 25, 2011


That.

The Other.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:52 AM on August 25, 2011


Really? Of all the things on MeFi, you hate This.?

I love it and actually have massively shortened my comments on student papers by writing "This." every time they have a good idea.

Now they compete for how many "This." comments they can get.

It's all kinds of awesome.
posted by guster4lovers at 7:56 AM on August 25, 2011 [4 favorites]


Don't other me, bro.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 7:59 AM on August 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


It's "'Really?'" that's the one that's gotta
stop. That one comes with a freight
train of implied cool-kid in-group bull shit that climbs right up and under my skin.
posted by From Bklyn at 8:04 AM on August 25, 2011


There have been some decent HOWL parodies, they are just usually fractional.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:32 AM on August 25, 2011


Okay okay okay I got one more. I will use Cortex's post, though it could work for any:

By contrast, Howl is like three thousand words, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock probably a thousand, both sprawling things in thick stanzas. Writing on-the-nose parodies of either would be a chore long after the joke had stopped breathing and gone green for all but the most exceptional satirists, and then only for the benefit of people had memorized the original word for word. Nice work if you can get it, but it's far more niche still than parodying William Carlos Williams, which is itself already a fairly specific sort of silliness. I am going to remove all the bones in one of my arms and and mail them to strangers

Broke that for you.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 8:46 AM on August 25, 2011


I mean it, if it doesn't stop I'm going to start fucking shit up around here.

This.
posted by philip-random at 8:52 AM on August 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why do people hate ftfy? I get that it's mildly annoying, but not how it's a big deal.

Let's say that someone wrote a comment that I disagreed with. But instead of replying to it and explaining my disagreement, I just hacked into the database and changed their comment to say something different. That would be a pretty big deal, wouldn't it?

When people do the FTFY thing, I think they're doing that in spirit, and that's why some people find it so objectionable.
posted by FishBike at 9:17 AM on August 25, 2011


It's "'Really?'" that's the one that's gotta
stop. That one comes with a freight
train of implied cool-kid in-group bull shit that climbs right up and under my skin.


My pet peeve
is when people
use very short lines
as though they don't
quite understand
that the Enter key
and the space bar
do different things.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:32 AM on August 25, 2011


When people do the FTFY thing, I think they're doing that in spirit, and that's why some people find it so objectionable.

What you got against spirit?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:39 AM on August 25, 2011


@SysRq, that bugs me too, but it's sometimes just because people are on their phones.
posted by sweetkid at 9:40 AM on August 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


I don't need people rewriting my words and then attributing them to me. FTFY is saying, "What you really mean by those words is..." If you want to write something else go ahead, but to rewrite someone else's words and then coyly pretend that you're not standing behind what's written

Does anyone really interpret it that way? I've always understood the FTFY convention to be a jokey way of saying "What you should have said was..." not "What you meant to say was...." I don't think I've ever taken the fixer to be pretending (coyly or otherwise) that the fixed form is not the fixer's own opinion. Still annoying, perhaps, but I think the "rewriting my words and then attributing them to me" (let alone FishBike's "hacking the database in spirit" argument) is overstating the case.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:58 AM on August 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


Oh, wait. I'm not obeying the conventions of the thread. Let me try again:

I don't need people rewriting my words and then attributing them to me. FTFY is saying, "What you really mean by those words is should have said is..." If you want to write something else go ahead, but to rewrite someone else's words and then coyly pretend that you're not standing behind what's written, you didn't say that, you're just offering your own opinion on the topic at hand in a way that is not half as clever as you think correcting what the original person meant.

It's gutless and lazy.
It's gutless and lazy.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:00 AM on August 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Still annoying, perhaps, but I think the "rewriting my words and then attributing them to me" (let alone FishBike's "hacking the database in spirit" argument) is overstating the case.

Maybe. To me, it reads like: "I disagree with you, but instead of saying why with my own words, I'm just gonna change yours." Certainly, not everyone is going to read it like that. And maybe that's part of why some people fine it more objectionable than others.
posted by FishBike at 1:31 PM on August 25, 2011


I like "grar", but I don't like "schmoopy."

I want a version of Duck Hunt where the ducks go "squeee!" before I shoot them.

And then the dog goes urinates on the corpse.

That is all. That's what I want.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 1:32 PM on August 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Maybe. To me, it reads like: "I disagree with you, but instead of saying why with my own words, I'm just gonna change yours."

I see where you're coming from, and I'll agree that it's lazy ("An argument isn't just contradiction!"), but the whole strikethrough-for-deletion, bold-for-addition convention makes it clear what the original that was changed was.

It's not as if anyone's changing your words and making it appear that you had written the "fixed" form, leaving no trace of the original. If they had wanted to do that, they wouldn't use the whole strikethrough/bold thing, they'd just present the straight rewritten form as a direct quote from you. Which is why the "hacking the database" analogy is inapposite.

And maybe that's part of why all decent upstanding people find it more objectionable than muumuu-wearing cannibals do.

See, there's no call for insults like that.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:22 PM on August 25, 2011


My previous comment put me in the triple-1000 club. How appropriate that it was in response to FishBike, who has been known to track such things.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:01 PM on August 25, 2011


Someday, it will be "fikighu". You read it here first.
posted by Ardiril at 4:28 PM on August 25, 2011




Regardless of convention this is like the asshole at the party that insists on translating what you actually said. I can't think of a time that some one has "fixed" one of my comments that hasn't pissed me off. The implication is that the original words weren't correct, that the author somehow needs your help since he's obviously ignorant of what's really being said.

Can it be done non-maliciously? Sure. But it's one of those things where it's done maliciously often enough that when FTFY is used I see it as a negative.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:04 PM on August 25, 2011


Jesus snakeraping christ on an abortion-horse.

There are dozens of stupid unfunny goddamned things that people say all the time that piss me off, but I don't try to form language-militias to force them to stop saying them.

No, what I do is the grumpy grownup fucking thing to do: I say to myself "Well, self, that person is an asshole/idiot/shitmitten/jackoff/cheesedick/werewolf/dinkwhiffler/fuckbaron/juiceface for using that annoying and stupid phrase which I hate with the heat of a thousand freaking whatevers, but rather than try and stop him or her from using it, I'll just file away in my mental Data Bank my low personal opinion of him or her based on the fact that they used it, and Percentagewise Ignore Them Accordingly."

Those of you who are keen to prescribe and proscribe? You may find life much more enjoyable if you follow my simple advice.

You dinkwhifflers.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:07 AM on August 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Those of you who are keen to prescribe and proscribe? You may find life much more enjoyable if you follow my simple advice.

Stav, I love you with the heat of a thousand Love-suns, but I can't forget that it was you who fought a long and tireless campaign, for many a moon, against those who would include those four fateful little letters, "SLYT", on their posts to the blue.

Ultimately, of course, your valiant efforts proved futile, for, as we know, hardly a day goes by at Mefi without someone emblazoning their FPP with the S, the L, the Y and the T. Well, perhaps it was defeat in this particular battle which mellowed you, my friend, and caused you to start down the path of a more enjoyable life. At any rate, enjoying life is good, and it's something we all aspire to.

speaking of which, when are you ever gonna get over here to Tokyo so we can quaff some brews together?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:05 AM on August 26, 2011


Bollocks! DO AS I SAY AND NOT AS I MAY HAVE AT SOME POINT DONE AND OR SAID I CONTAIN MULTITUDES and have a short memory

But see, that's my point: SLYT and all the semi-faux-clever variants annoy the fuck out of me to this day, but I don't and haven't for literally years said word one against them things. I used to, sure, years ago, and did, and thought that telling people what they should say or not was a super-awesome thing to do because expressing my ANGER was all EMPOWERING and shit, but.

I've since reformed.

Someday, beer, brother. Someday.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:13 AM on August 26, 2011


I s'pose with tens of thousands of regular users, even a generic "don't be a dick" request, devoid of specificity regarding the phrasing of the dickishness, is bound for failure to some extent. Too many different personalities, and too many choice opportunities to be a dick. But if the people who insist on being dicks could find less cliched ways of doing it, our entertainment value would increase, at least. Lazy, cliche dickishness is the most boorish kind.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:02 AM on August 26, 2011


hardly a day goes by at Mefi without someone emblazoning their FPP
with the S, the L, the Y and the T.


Let's all sing along with The Four Deuces:
S. L. Y. T.

Ess, Ell, Wye-Tee sho' looks good to me
Ess, Ell, Wye-Tee, woncha take a look with me
You'll have a good good time,
It'll really make you feel so fine! (so fine so fine so fine)

Went to the MeFi store (ah-oo)
When they opened up the door (ah-oo)
I said please please please please, (oo-oo)
Woncha gimme some more! (ah-ah)

Single Link Youtube (Single Link Youtube)
Single Link Youtube (Single Link Youtube)
Single Link Youtube (ooh. . . )
Oh! what it'll do to you!

The S is the single
The L is the link
The Y is the you and
The T is the tube!

Single Link Youtube (Single Link Youtube)
Single Link Youtube (Single Link Youtube)
Single Link Youtube (ooh. . . )
Sho' looks good to me. . .
posted by Herodios at 7:29 AM on August 26, 2011


> but I don't and haven't for literally years said word one against them things.

Ok, but now you're proscribing proscription!
posted by Horselover Phattie at 7:37 AM on August 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


It's fun to post with an S L Y T
Oh yes it's fun to post S L Y Tee-ee

They have videos there that we all can enjoy
You can post one for all the boys...
posted by subbes at 7:40 AM on August 26, 2011


If I see anyone type or say, "chomping at the bit," ever again I'm gonna burn this mother fucker down.
posted by cmoj at 5:00 PM on August 28, 2011


How do you feel about champing?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:02 PM on August 28, 2011


Although originally made with gin and vermouth and garnished with an olive, the martini has evolved from a simple American concoction to a worldwide drink of equal parts sophistication, style and substance. Whipped Lightning® is the perfect way to continue the tradition of experimentation with the classiest of all drinks. Just imagine your favorite martini topped with the simple elegance that is Whipahol®.

Thank you, jonmc.
posted by moss at 5:19 PM on August 28, 2011


How do you feel about champing?

Fantastic.
posted by cmoj at 5:28 PM on August 28, 2011


Since we're uselessly venting about things that won't change...

Your favorite MetaFilter phrase X sucks:
I'm tired of "special snowflakes". I get it, we all watched Fight Club. It was cute at first, before everyone used it and its' variations to death.
posted by _paegan_ at 3:32 AM on August 30, 2011


"NATCH" IS THE WORSTEST
posted by nathancaswell at 5:12 AM on August 30, 2011


No, it isn't.

m'kay?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:32 AM on August 30, 2011


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