Not so fast, Louie. August 31, 2011 8:15 PM   Subscribe

Are AskMe questions containing an imperative "Quick!" annoying to you?
posted by Rash to Etiquette/Policy at 8:15 PM (149 comments total)

Quick! Not really
posted by Greg Nog at 8:16 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Not particularly.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:17 PM on August 31, 2011


...unless, that is, there's no real reason for the rush.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:18 PM on August 31, 2011


Eponysterical.
posted by phunniemee at 8:18 PM on August 31, 2011 [25 favorites]


No...?
posted by meese at 8:18 PM on August 31, 2011


depends... locked in a room trying to get out? Appropriate. Wondering what to call your kid to be born 6 months from now. Desperate.
posted by edgeways at 8:19 PM on August 31, 2011 [4 favorites]


no
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:19 PM on August 31, 2011


No, especially when they're about bar recommendations. Sometimes you just need a drink!
posted by oinopaponton at 8:21 PM on August 31, 2011 [5 favorites]


It bothers me to read that in Stack Overflow questions. Like I owe you an answer!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:22 PM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


Yes.
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 8:22 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


[x] Meh.
posted by babbyʼ); Drop table users; -- at 8:24 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


It is nowhere nearly as annoying as people who pop back into the thread to say "Good answers, keep 'em coming!" That is the worst.
posted by dhammond at 8:27 PM on August 31, 2011 [12 favorites]


Nope.
posted by zarq at 8:30 PM on August 31, 2011




   +----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
   | In which another pointless Meta is posted                                              |
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   |                  Quick!                       x       x                                |
   |                  time for  +---------------+  x       x                                |
   |                  recycled                     x      xx                                |
   |                  jokes                         x    xx                                 |
   |                                                 xxxxx                                  |
   |                                               xxx  |xx                                 |
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posted by babbyʼ); Drop table users; -- at 8:31 PM on August 31, 2011 [10 favorites]


It is nowhere nearly as annoying as people who pop back into the thread to say "Good answers, keep 'em coming!" That is the worst.

I think people say that because they've already favorited/best answered some but are open to more, and they are worried that people will see the best answers and make sad face and not answer. At least I probably have done that.
posted by sweetkid at 8:32 PM on August 31, 2011 [40 favorites]


Why is one arm longer than another? ASCIIFAIL
posted by zarq at 8:32 PM on August 31, 2011


Quick! time for recycled jokes.

Wanna hear a joke about my penis?
...Ah, never mind. It's too long.
posted by phunniemee at 8:33 PM on August 31, 2011 [16 favorites]


Quick! How do I get rid of this Rash?
posted by The Deej at 8:42 PM on August 31, 2011


THEY MAKE ME SO FUCKING ANGRY!
posted by Trurl at 8:51 PM on August 31, 2011 [6 favorites]


Wondering what to call your kid to be born 6 months from now. Desperate.


    Little desperate drop table users; --  
                                             
                                             
            _)_                                    
        .-'(/ '-.                            
       /    `    \                            
      /  -     -  \                          
     (`  a     a  `)                         
      \     ^     /                         
       '. '---' .'                           
       .-`'---'`-.                           
      /           \                         
     /  / '   ' \  \                         
   _/  /|       |\  \_                        
  `/|\` |+++++++|`/|\`                       
       /\       /\                           
       | `-._.-` |                            
       \   / \   /                           
       |_ |   | _|                           
       | _|   |_ |                           
       (ooO   Ooo)                           
 

posted by babbyʼ); Drop table users; -- at 8:51 PM on August 31, 2011 [7 favorites]


You know what's annoying to me? Such sensitivity to people's word choices. Just move along. It's not that tough. There's nothing incendiary about the word "quick."
posted by fyrebelley at 8:51 PM on August 31, 2011 [7 favorites]


I prefer "Urgent!" Because it has that great Junior Walker sax solo.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:05 PM on August 31, 2011 [4 favorites]


babbyʼ); Drop table users; --: "Quick! time for recylced jokes"

Eponysterical.
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 9:11 PM on August 31, 2011 [4 favorites]


Baby toes? Cute! Frankenstein in the belly? Less cute!
posted by Glinn at 9:11 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Baby toes? Cute! Frankenstein in the belly? Less cute!

Didn't you see the AskMe?

Quick, I found a knife! What should I do? [more inside]
posted by Little desperate drop table users; -- to sports, hobbies, & recreation at 9:06 PM


All the answers came a little too late.
posted by babbyʼ); Drop table users; -- at 9:14 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


To answer your question:

- Quick! I need a pub that serves beer outside in NYC.
- Quick! I need a dress to wear to a wedding.
- Quick! I need to get rid of mice.

No, they do not annoy me. In fact, they provide me with interest and possibly, future information, particularly, how to quickly get rid of vermin.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 9:16 PM on August 31, 2011


Maybe "slowly" would get better results.
posted by Maximian at 9:18 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


I prefer the phrasing, "I need X- with a quickness!"
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:19 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


My sisters preferred Chocolate Quik. I liked the Strawberry Quik because I had ZAZZ.
posted by mintcake! at 9:21 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also: no, not really annoying.
posted by mintcake! at 9:21 PM on August 31, 2011


Good answers; keep 'em coming!
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:25 PM on August 31, 2011 [5 favorites]


Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!
posted by babbyʼ); Drop table users; -- at 9:28 PM on August 31, 2011


oops, wrong rant thread. But that one is coming in 85 days! amirite?
posted by babbyʼ); Drop table users; -- at 9:29 PM on August 31, 2011


¡Con rapidez!
posted by koeselitz at 9:31 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


I am on fires. What shall I do? Please take a moment to consider your answer. Hasty suggestions involving stopping, dropping, or or rolling will not be considered.
posted by sanko at 9:37 PM on August 31, 2011 [21 favorites]


This is Metatalk worthy, seriously? The use of the word "quick"?

That's not such a bad word. It's not as objectionable as "moist". It's not even an unusual word, like "cromulent".

If this annoys you enough to post, I really feel for you. Jeez, if you have to interact with anyone in the course of your day, your blood pressure must be, like, a million/a thousand.

And then, if one of those people says, "quick"--BOOM! Head asplodes.

Now, I'm on some crappy medication that has me forgetting crap and falling asleep in the middle of the day (and also writing poorly and saying "crap" too much), and so admittedly my own annoyance tolerance level has tanked recently.

But even i'm just gobsmacked this is on the grey.

Is it, like, Canadian April Fool's Day?
posted by misha at 9:44 PM on August 31, 2011 [4 favorites]


I am on fires. What shall I do? Please take a moment to consider your answer. Hasty suggestions involving stopping, dropping, or or rolling will not be considered.

Try making friends with someone who's got a swimming pool.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:45 PM on August 31, 2011 [6 favorites]


here's some marshmallows, might as well have something sweet and sticky on the way out.
posted by edgeways at 9:50 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


It annoys me when someone asks how to punch someone whose house they're eating dinner at on short notice and they title the question "Paste Host Post Haste?"
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:54 PM on August 31, 2011 [12 favorites]


Nah. I always read it as being delivered with tongue in cheek.

That's not such a bad word. It's not as objectionable as "moist".
posted by misha at 5:44 AM on September 1


Ooh, I love "moist"! I get quite irriguous both fore and aft when I think about it!
posted by Decani at 9:54 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


What about when it was used in that manicuring question?
posted by unliteral at 9:54 PM on August 31, 2011


I am on fires. What shall I do? Please take a moment to consider your answer. Hasty suggestions involving stopping, dropping, or or rolling will not be considered.

Dude, you need a doctor.
posted by hal_c_on at 9:55 PM on August 31, 2011


My dearest friend Sanko,
I hasten to respond to recent progress regarding your correspondence dated August 31st in the year of the lord two thousand and eleven. With regards to your query on the matter of bodily conflagration, I am yet to reach definitive panacea. More details forthcoming, but with imminent war in the far east I fear you must be patient.

Yrs very affectionately

Sir babbyʼ); Drop table users; --
posted by babbyʼ); Drop table users; -- at 9:55 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why is one arm longer than another? ASCIIFAIL

Come on, man. Get some perspective!
posted by vidur at 10:01 PM on August 31, 2011 [4 favorites]


Why aren't you asking your mothers? QUICK!
posted by katillathehun at 10:07 PM on August 31, 2011




If there's a deadline, include the deadline in the request:

"Before 9:00 AM EST Sept 3, I need to know..."

And if you get a good answer on time, mark it as resolved so do-gooders don't rush in to help you solve a solved problem while you're already out using the answer somewhere.
posted by pracowity at 10:56 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


"destiny's child themed party"

What the fuck?!
posted by Brocktoon at 11:10 PM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


No, that doesn't annoy me.

But while we're on the topic of AskMetafilter questions, why do people write questions in this sort of style:

Cat Has Claws. Must Declaw. In Des Moines. Best Place To Go?

Why not I need to declaw a cat in Des Moines. Where's the best place to go?

I mean, it's not like you get charged extra for complete sentences.
posted by cmonkey at 11:34 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


"destiny's child themed party"
What the fuck?!


Hee!
"Wear a name tag that says "Waterfalls, J." When people ask, pretend to leave and say you're "Don't Go Jason Waterfalls." When they tell you thats TLC and not Destiny's Child, say "Wait is this 826 Maple Avenue or 828? Oh god, how embarrassing."
That's hilarious. I had only skimmed the titles to generate the list and hadn't read any of the threads.
posted by unliteral at 11:41 PM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


Questions that are not really questions but end in a question mark really annoy me?
posted by davejay at 11:43 PM on August 31, 2011


I am on fires. What shall I do? Please take a moment to consider your answer. Hasty suggestions involving stopping, dropping, or or rolling will not be considered.

Might I suggest a fireproof keyboard to prolong your interaction with MeFi? IANYFF. TINFFA.
posted by arcticseal at 12:17 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


What I like are MeTa posts that begin "What is our policy on" because I used to accidentally hire high-maintenance people.
posted by planetkyoto at 12:37 AM on September 1, 2011


It annoys me when someone asks how to punch someone whose house they're eating dinner at on short notice and they title the question "Paste Host Post Haste?"

Crikey, that was hard work. Took me about 4 goes.

It annoys me when someone asks how to make the perfect pizza for the final dish of a WWII French Underground themed dinner party and they title the question "Pizza Resistance."
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:52 AM on September 1, 2011 [3 favorites]


Nope. It usually spurs my attention, especially in save my meal/pimp my recipe questions.

Quite a different thing is what we got yesterday:

[Random Chatfilter question] [Period] "Discuss."
Made me long for a multiple flag option, with extra tags like "makes my blood boil" and stuff.
posted by Namlit at 1:15 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Some things are time sensitive. I was in the middle of writing an important email, OK?
posted by Meatbomb at 1:46 AM on September 1, 2011


Jesus Christ. I saw the word "quick," rushed in here, and this is all I find?

Guess I'll go put a robe on or something, then.
posted by maxwelton at 2:55 AM on September 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


misha: That's not such a bad word. It's not as objectionable as "moist".
Decani: Ooh, I love "moist"! I get quite irriguous both fore and aft when I think about it!

C'mon, guys. We all know the night was sultry.
posted by likeso at 2:57 AM on September 1, 2011


Alas alacrity.
posted by Abiezer at 3:18 AM on September 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


No, but you know what annoys me, it annoys me to get up at 6 am to find a Meta Of No Use (or, a MONU).

MONU's take up my time, make me think that others are much more stupid than I imagined, cause me to lose faith in humanity, and result in my using up precious keystrokes (there's a limit you know!) with answers to the MONU that are useless and stupid (Useless and Stupid Answers or UASA's).

So, in the future please keep your MONU's to yourself and I'll avoid UASA's (no, I don't know how to fucking pronounce that, just get over it!).

Now, get me some damn coffee!
posted by tomswift at 3:27 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


I really hate it when cortex deletes my comments less than 30 seconds after I post them. When he's quick to the cut, I'm cut to the quick.
posted by flabdablet at 3:55 AM on September 1, 2011 [4 favorites]


I am on fires. What shall I do? Please take a moment to consider your answer. Hasty suggestions involving stopping, dropping, or or rolling will not be considered.

IANYD but D(ouse)TMFA.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:20 AM on September 1, 2011


Asking this crowd if something is annoying to them is like asking me if I like beer.

Being annoyed is where we are vikings.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:21 AM on September 1, 2011 [4 favorites]


hal_c_on: "I am on fires. What shall I do? Please take a moment to consider your answer. Hasty suggestions involving stopping, dropping, or or rolling will not be considered.

Dude, you need a doctor
"

Nah, he needs to DTMFA.
posted by Grither at 4:27 AM on September 1, 2011


Nah, he needs to FAMDT (find a medical doctor today).
posted by Ahab at 4:41 AM on September 1, 2011


Or did you mean douse the motherfucking fire already?
posted by Ahab at 4:42 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


I, too hate "quickly". I much prefer "Achtung! Schnell! Schnell!" It has that warm Teutonic feel to it.
posted by TedW at 4:43 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


For you, Tommy, the thread is over.
posted by pompomtom at 4:51 AM on September 1, 2011


Getting laid will help greatly.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 4:59 AM on September 1, 2011


I mean, it's not like you get charged extra for complete sentences.

Those of us who don't enjoy the luxury of broadband internet access still rely heavily on MetaFilter's "post by cablegram" service. Address is PANCAKES.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:12 AM on September 1, 2011


QUICK TICKS NIX CLICKS
posted by SpiffyRob at 6:13 AM on September 1, 2011


I remember when I was younger, I hated Quik. My mom had bought some, probably after me pestering her because of some commercial, which she put away when I didn't like it. We found it some number of months (years?) later, and I tried it, and I liked it (and why not? It's basically sugar + milk, like the bottom of the cereal bowl). So for a while, I drank Quick all the time. But only the strawberry kind, because I have a weak allergy to chocolate.

I'd probably hate it now, since I've grown accustomed to skim milk.

Sorry, what was the question?
posted by Eideteker at 6:24 AM on September 1, 2011


Quik is nasty. Hershey's syrup, man. Qik isn't so bad a video chat app, but no one I know is on it.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 6:27 AM on September 1, 2011


When she was young my sister's name for Strawberry Quik was "pink bunny drink".

Anyway, because I am slow I much prefer the questions that say "Whoa, pardner, no need to hurry with your answer. Take your time. Roll those thoughts around in your brain for a while before answering. It's not like I'm on fire or something, I can wait."

Having said that, no, it does not bother me if someone has an imperative "quick" in their question. Presumably they need an answer right away. I'll either have the time/expertise/insight/motivation to answer the question or I won't.
posted by plastic_animals at 6:38 AM on September 1, 2011


I just learned that Australians say nestles and not ness-lees.
posted by pracowity at 6:47 AM on September 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


no.
posted by empath at 6:50 AM on September 1, 2011


Questions with squick make me feel uncomfortable, though.
posted by empath at 6:51 AM on September 1, 2011


Questions where people request clarification and the OP doesn't provide it sometimes bug me a little.
posted by box at 6:52 AM on September 1, 2011


box: "Questions where people request clarification and the OP doesn't provide it sometimes bug me a little"

The worst offender for this is that damned anonymous guy. Whatta jerk!
posted by Grither at 7:15 AM on September 1, 2011


The only time I get annoyed (in the weakest sense) is when the question is both obscure or hard to answer and there's a time limit of like and hour or two. There's not enough time for a large number of people to see your question.

"I live out in MiddleofNowhereville. Where can I buy a pink and orange striped candle before a retirement party that I have to go to in an hour?"

I just feel bad for these people.
posted by royalsong at 7:17 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


asanko: “I am on fires. What shall I do? Please take a moment to consider your answer. Hasty suggestions involving stopping, dropping, or or rolling will not be considered.”

You need to see a lawyer right away, and all of these ridiculous suggestions about doctors and swimming pools are offensive to me. Seriously, only a lawyer can help you with this.
posted by koeselitz at 7:22 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


The only time these are problematic is when they're in the AskMe anon queue. Since the anon queua is all hand-approved sometimes a few questions can stack up there if I'm not around. We make sure people know there can be a 24-48 hour turnaround (it's pretty much never any longer than that) but there are still sometimes "Halp do I need to go to the ER!" questions or "I need to make a decision about this thing by tomorrrow morning!" questions which may not get approved, or even seen, in time. Otherwise I just figure people can ask other peopel to be speedy but that does not confer any obligation to them so I shrug and move on.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:28 AM on September 1, 2011


I think people say that because they've already favorited/best answered some but are open to more, and they are worried that people will see the best answers and make sad face and not answer. At least I probably have done that.

You shouldn't mark best answers until you are done. The best answer mark appears on the front page of AskMe, so some people will stop with that and won't click through to see your "keep 'em coming" exhortation.
posted by grouse at 7:53 AM on September 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


HOTTT HOW MANY LICKS TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP? L@@K!!!!!!!!
posted by backseatpilot at 7:53 AM on September 1, 2011


There's nothing incendiary about the word "quick."

Clearly you've never played the let's-spell-words-in-gasoline-and-light-a-match game.
posted by quin at 7:58 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Quick! How can I dodge a bullet?
posted by tommasz at 7:58 AM on September 1, 2011


Nevermind.
posted by tommasz at 7:58 AM on September 1, 2011


Quick! How can I slow down hemorrhaging?
posted by tommasz at 7:59 AM on September 1, 2011


Since the anon queua is all hand-approved

This reminds me, I hate the word artisanal.
posted by desjardins at 8:01 AM on September 1, 2011


Is it, like, Canadian April Fool's Day?

No, that's April 4th.
posted by bonehead at 8:03 AM on September 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


desjardins: “This reminds me, I hate the word artisanal.”

Me too. Mostly because I always split it up in my mind into three words. And I don't really like those three words.
posted by koeselitz at 8:10 AM on September 1, 2011 [7 favorites]


And I don't really like those three words.

But some art just is!
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:12 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well, now I'll never be able to not see anal when I buy that nice artisanal-labelled bread that I like. You win this time, Metatalk.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 8:27 AM on September 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


HEY LISTEN!!
posted by griphus at 8:30 AM on September 1, 2011


it's not like you get charged extra for complete sentences.

HOW QUICK CARY GRANT?
 
posted by Herodios at 8:51 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


It is nowhere nearly as annoying as people who pop back into the thread to say "Good answers, keep 'em coming!" That is the worst.

I am now picturing AskMe as Family Feud.

"DTMFA"
"Good answer! Good answer!" clapclapclap
"So you're going with DTMFA? Show me DTMFA!"

X
posted by Hoopo at 8:55 AM on September 1, 2011 [8 favorites]


oh man now I have like, all of ocarina of time in my head
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:56 AM on September 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'll tell you what's annoying. The guy sitting across the aisle from me in a one hour bus ride yanking shit out of his nose with great force, looking at it and then proceeding to the next one. It bugged the hell out of me all the way. Urgh. Quick! Do something
posted by infini at 8:58 AM on September 1, 2011


infini: " It bugged the hell out of me all the way. Urgh. Quick! Do something"

Don't worry. Eventually he'll tunnel all the way back to the brain stem and run out of stuff to yank out of his nose.
posted by zarq at 9:01 AM on September 1, 2011


Cat Has Claws. Must Declaw. In Des Moines. Best Place To Go?

Why not I need to declaw a cat in Des Moines. Where's the best place to go?


IT IS NEVER NECESSARY TO GO TO DES MOINES
posted by Sys Rq at 9:02 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


;p zarq

btw, it must be this sense of AskMe urgency that correlates back to all the comments I received once for putting up a MeTa at *gasp* 7am on a US time zone morning
posted by infini at 9:06 AM on September 1, 2011


MetaFilter: now I'll never be able to not see anal
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:23 AM on September 1, 2011


Are AskMe questions containing an imperative "Quick!" annoying to you?

First off, are you currently seeing a therapist? Is therapy available to you?
posted by mazola at 9:25 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


it must be this sense of AskMe urgency that correlates back to all the comments I received once for putting up a MeTa at *gasp* 7am on a US time zone morning

No, those comments were very specifically about posting a 7 am (my time, 6 am restless_nomad time, 4 am cortex/mathowie/pb time) MeTa thread on a weekend specifically asking for mod clarification about something that people were claiming we were not doing [i.e. upholding the "breaking newsfilter not so great" guideline we've mentioned]. This was a situation in which the MeTa thread was going to be, possibly, running for a long time without mod input which, from our mod perspective is suboptimal if you have a question for us specifically. And especially if the question was, less charitably interpreted "Why aren't you doing your job?" and more charitably interpreted as "I don't understand this, can you please clarify?"

It's not your responsibility to always know when we're sleeping and when we're awake and MeFi has an international audience. However, given the tenor of MeTa and how sometimes things can go south, it's considered polite if you have a question for us specifically, to ask at a time when we'd likely be around to answer it. We explained this in the thread at the time and I'm explaining it here as well.

Put another way, answering users' questions posed in the contact form and in MeTa is our job. You are welcome to ask a question whenever you want to. We get to contact form emails when one of us is awake. We get to MeTa when we wake up. Asking at a time when we're mostly definitely asleep assures that the thread will be running unattended for hours before we see it. This can, occasionally, make our jobs more difficult. It's possible you didn't know that before. I am hoping that you know it now.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:33 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


yes, it's annoying.

But not as annoying as whiny self-absorbed people in MetaTalk who want everyone else to come and ride their little squeaky hobbyhorse with them so we can all whine and complain together.

For you next MetaTalk post, how about simply posting "LOOK AT ME EVERYONE! I AM VERY IMPORTANT AND HAVE THINGS TO SAY THAT YOU NEED TO HEAR!"
posted by GuyZero at 9:46 AM on September 1, 2011


It's not your responsibility to always know when we're sleeping and when we're awake

No, that's Santa's job.
posted by desjardins at 9:57 AM on September 1, 2011 [7 favorites]


But not as annoying as whiny self-absorbed people...

May I suggest a nice relaxing poo?
posted by pracowity at 10:01 AM on September 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


No, that's Santa's job.

Dear Hive Mind,

I think I might have a stalker! My friend just told me that there's some creepy old dude who has been watching me sleep. I haven't been particularly nice this year, so I really need to know how to handle this. Please hope me! Quick! Christmas is only a few months away!
posted by phunniemee at 10:02 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


a nice relaxing poo?

So now-a-days, instead of saying "relax, take a chill pill!", all the cool kids are saying "relax, take a shit!"?
posted by BurnChao at 10:08 AM on September 1, 2011


Take these tefillin and follow me.
posted by griphus at 10:08 AM on September 1, 2011


Dear mods,

please to add hamburger to my previous comment.

time zones and context completely understood.
posted by infini at 10:17 AM on September 1, 2011


QUICK! CAN ANYONE RECOMMEND A GOOD LAXATIVE? THIS POO IS NOT AT ALL RELAXING!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:41 AM on September 1, 2011


"No, that's Santa's job."

"May I suggest a nice relaxing poo?"

Next time I take my kids to see Santa, and they ask if he can get up after taking pictures with them, I'll tell them no, because his chair is really a toilet, and he was doing a poo the whole time they were in his lap. Because that is what Santa does the rest of the year. A really long poo. Because of all the food he has to eat to get enough energy to traverse the globe in one night.


I don't actually have kids, for some reason.
posted by Eideteker at 10:50 AM on September 1, 2011 [6 favorites]


QUICK! CAN ANYONE RECOMMEND A GOOD LAXATIVE? THIS POO IS NOT AT ALL RELAXING!

Do you have a paperclip nearby? Otherwise, a finger should work in a pinch.
posted by BurnChao at 10:53 AM on September 1, 2011


Thread removed from recent activity
posted by desjardins at 10:56 AM on September 1, 2011 [3 favorites]


Where is the best place to pee in North Texas? Please, moist answers only.
posted by cmoj at 11:00 AM on September 1, 2011


Congratulations.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 11:02 AM on September 1, 2011


cmoj: "Where is the best place to pee in North Texas? Please, moist answers only."

Palo Duro Canyon. Very scenic.

Or, the Big Texan.
posted by zarq at 11:08 AM on September 1, 2011


I wouldn't mind if every single AskMe included "quick" ... if it's the quickening though, there can be only one.
posted by headnsouth at 12:48 PM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Quick! Will my weird date notice that I hid a snub-nose and a tape recorder when he comes over?
posted by griphus at 1:10 PM on September 1, 2011


Quick query: Should I cut my dog's dewclaw to the quick?








Answer: No, bring it to the vet.
posted by Elmore at 3:14 PM on September 1, 2011


wat foo im 14 ive been listenin to quik since i wuz 5 quik goes hard id be bumpin his stuff over any other ppl buhh i listen to the new stuff too sp do trip
posted by Brocktoon at 5:24 PM on September 1, 2011


'Born and Raised in Compton,' that's my shit. Quik flips the Ike Hayes sample lovely.
posted by box at 5:29 PM on September 1, 2011


Oh hey guys the comment number is 123! that's neat I-

oh wait..
posted by The Whelk at 6:10 PM on September 1, 2011


Where is the best place to pee in North Texas? Please, moist answers only.

Palo Duro Canyon. Very scenic.


It really is beautiful. But they need the water pretty much anywhere near there.
posted by TedW at 6:42 PM on September 1, 2011


TedW: " It really is beautiful. But they need the water pretty much anywhere near there."

Yeah, local students learn all about the Ogallala Aquifer and drought issues in public school. It's a mandatory part of the curriculum.
posted by zarq at 8:01 PM on September 1, 2011


Quik, how should I flavour this milk?
posted by pompomtom at 8:49 PM on September 1, 2011


Mix a flavouring agent into it.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:55 PM on September 1, 2011


Mix a flavouring agent into it.

That artificial stuff, man; I really worry about the additives. All those extra vowels can't be good for you.
posted by phunniemee at 9:06 PM on September 1, 2011


Dear AskMe,

Whatever happened to Banana Quik? That was the motherfucking shit. Take your time.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:42 PM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Sorry I'm so late to the thread. I didn't see any indication the question was urgent, so I took care of some other things first. Anyway...

Squick! How can I avoid being struck on the head by Santa's reindeers' poo? No rush, but it'd be nice to have an answer before Christmas.
posted by stebulus at 10:00 PM on September 1, 2011


Should I have eaten this?
posted by mannequito at 11:02 PM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Should I have eaten this?
Heh that reminds me of a friend, a cellist, who during rehearsals, after the end of the piece, would address the person responsible for whatever went wrong halfway through the piece with the words "don't did that."
posted by Namlit at 3:03 AM on September 2, 2011


Crick! What shape is this?
posted by stebulus at 11:57 AM on September 2, 2011


Annoyance is something you can learn to live with. This is not worth your energy. It's okay to turn off the computer; I hear Outside is nice. It's okay not to control the world and the people in it; you won't be successful, you have better ways to spend your time, and being annoyed easily is probably bad for your heart, literally and metaphorically.

Here is a hug{}.
posted by theora55 at 2:15 PM on September 2, 2011


Here is a hug{}.

That's not a hug! It's just a hamburger bun!
posted by Sys Rq at 2:48 PM on September 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


jessamyn: "However, given the tenor of MeTa and how sometimes things can go south, it's considered polite if you have a question for us specifically, to ask at a time when we'd likely be around to answer it."

You know, there have been about eighty umpty billion versions of, "When is the best time to ask my question so I'll get the most answers?"

And yet how many of you have taken the time to consider, "Are the mods sleeping right now? Is jessamyn in the tub? Vacapinta is grilling prawns on the barbie*, matt's out having a nice relaxing bike ride. Pb is probably coding something up to amuse little Samantha. Oh, man, what if cortex is in the middle of a song or a new cat blog? I'd better post later."

Yeah, you never even thought about that, did you? DID YOU?

You're all so frickin' selfish.

*I figure this is what Aussies do when they are not hunting crocodiles and stuff.
posted by misha at 5:34 PM on September 2, 2011


Will someone please think of the children mods!
posted by arcticseal at 5:39 PM on September 2, 2011


vacapinta is Australian now?
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:48 PM on September 2, 2011


crap. Okay, where the hell is vacapinta from?
posted by misha at 6:36 PM on September 2, 2011


Oh.

He's English. I'm so sorry. Okay, so vacapinta is not grilling prawns on the barbie and hunting crocs? He's, like, watching a football game in Manchester? Or something?
posted by misha at 6:38 PM on September 2, 2011


He's English.

He's American, of Mexican descent iirc, and living in England.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:21 PM on September 2, 2011


He's American, of Mexican descent iirc, and living in England.

Actually, he sounds like exactly the kind of person who would grill prawns on the barbie, because why the heck not? Probably rolls his own sushi, too. (And eats polka dotted hamburgers!)
posted by phunniemee at 9:33 PM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


He's American, of Mexican descent iirc, and living in England.


Vacapinta walks into a bar...
posted by babbyʼ); Drop table users; -- at 9:39 PM on September 2, 2011


ow!
posted by edgeways at 11:33 PM on September 2, 2011


I explain all of this in my profile.

As it happens, I just got back from having Indian snacks and Scotch whisky on a terrace in Lisbon - of course.
posted by vacapinta at 2:07 PM on September 3, 2011 [3 favorites]


His mod duties are a cover for his life of globe-trotting super-crime.
posted by The Whelk at 2:27 PM on September 3, 2011


Vacapinta, you are much too complex for me to create a facetious stereotype that sounds at all convincing. I'm sorry, but this is clearly unaccptable. You're just going to have to quit.



/hamburger
posted by misha at 2:29 PM on September 3, 2011


Geddit?!

Pièce de résistance

Pizza resistance

Geddit? Geddit???!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 7:58 PM on September 12, 2011


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