Creepy Happy People September 12, 2011 8:14 AM   Subscribe

Find me the shiny happy people?

I'd swear there was a post on metafilter, maybe 5+ years ago, linking to a advertisement that starts out with camera shots of a grey beachside town. Bright shining cheerful people start coming out of the sea and wandering through town, often leering into people's windows, sort of like zombies-of-happiness. ring any bells?
posted by nomisxid to MetaFilter-Related at 8:14 AM (107 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

You're thinking of this post about a Folger's commercial.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:16 AM on September 12, 2011 [6 favorites]


Damn, cortex. That was impressive.
posted by pointystick at 8:37 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


He's in your head, you know.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:38 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


That's why I pulled out my back teeth with pliers.
posted by cashman at 8:41 AM on September 12, 2011 [20 favorites]


That was excellent!
posted by TooFewShoes at 8:44 AM on September 12, 2011


Wow that thread was full of threadshitting right up front. Glad to see that has changed a little. Also, holy shit that commercial.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:48 AM on September 12, 2011


That's why I pulled out my back teeth with pliers.

EEEsh! No need to go to such extremes, I just trepanned myself with a power drill and called it a day!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 8:57 AM on September 12, 2011 [4 favorites]


That ad was also linked to in the Coffee Jerks thread last week.
posted by sambosambo at 9:02 AM on September 12, 2011


Wow that thread was full of threadshitting right up front.

Yes, and they were wrong. I just saw that commercial for the first time due to cortex's link and damn if it doesn't make me want to:

A. laugh
B. have a coffee
C. give thanks to the gods of advertising that it never went viral, because that song would (after maybe three repetitions) make me want to kill people.

I also like how a link to a coffee commercial quickly led to someone inquiring as to the difference/similarity between LSD and mushroom trips. For the record, it's kind of like the difference/similarity between Belgium and The Netherlands. They're both countries, kinda flat, yet one has better beer than the other.

not that there's anything flat about either LSD or shrooms
posted by philip-random at 9:17 AM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


For all the gold and blonde bedazzlement, there is a stunning amount of variety in the happy people dancers. I like it.
posted by phunniemee at 9:19 AM on September 12, 2011


My wife has this song as one of the alarms that wake her up in the morning. The first time I heard it, I had a moment of panic that some creepy glowing home invader was going to appear behind me and I was going to have to spend the whole morning cleaning golden blood out of my carpeting.
posted by quin at 9:20 AM on September 12, 2011 [9 favorites]


That video seems to have been my hypnosis trigger for my deep cover assasination training. Now all I have to do is figure out how to kill the sun.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:23 AM on September 12, 2011 [16 favorites]


Yeah, except some people think LSD has better beer and some people prefer the beer in mushrooms. Or something like that. I'm not really sure I've got the right end of this analogy.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:25 AM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


I take this as a sign that we have moved beyond the need for Katrina and the Waves in advertising, and that can Only Be Good.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:34 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


I think I just found my Halloween costume.
posted by rhizome at 9:40 AM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


You can sleep when you are dead.
posted by crunchland at 10:06 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Can that be soon please? I'm very tired.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:07 AM on September 12, 2011


What IS the difference between a mormon and a mushroom anyway?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:08 AM on September 12, 2011


One is a fruiting fungi. The other is a m...

No. Sorry. Can't do it. The other is a member of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:14 AM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Aside from Clive Owen I'll Sleep When I'm Dead stars Charlotte Rampling and Malcom McDowell -- like the majority of my dreams.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 10:22 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well, there goes my chances of running for President.
posted by loquacious at 10:41 AM on September 12, 2011


I'm confused. The Mefi thread seems to be from June 13, 2006. But the link in the OP goes to a page that appears to be from April 14, 2009.
posted by meese at 10:56 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm confused. The Mefi thread seems to be from June 13, 2006. But the link in the OP goes to a page that appears to be from April 14, 2009.

This is just further evidence of my theory that The Mormons Have Time Machines.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:59 AM on September 12, 2011


Hot Tub Time Machines?
posted by Sys Rq at 11:05 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


I came to make a comment, but I see they have all been made already.
posted by Eideteker at 11:08 AM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


This one hasn't.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:10 AM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Creeptastic!

Now you can close the thread, Eide.
posted by deborah at 11:20 AM on September 12, 2011


Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
posted by tommasz at 11:32 AM on September 12, 2011


One time cortex threatened to stepson my head. There was mote to it, but that's what I remember. Find that!
posted by cjorgensen at 11:35 AM on September 12, 2011


Oh, God! There's a mote in my eye!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:37 AM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


So mote it be!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:42 AM on September 12, 2011


One time cortex threatened to stepson my head.

For the curious, this involves singing slightly modified Phil Collins lyrics to someone until they're conditioned to believe that by dating or marrying their mother I'm trying to replace their real dad.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:42 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh, God! There's a mote in my eye!

Speaking of which, iBooks finally beefed up their Niven collection.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 11:52 AM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Holy crap... I've seen supposed "shock sites" that have made me wince less than that advert.
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 11:54 AM on September 12, 2011


I've seen supposed "shock sites" that have made me wince less than that advert.

You should see the goatse version.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 11:58 AM on September 12, 2011


You should see the goatse version.

Apparently the sun does shine there!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:04 PM on September 12, 2011


You should see the goatse version.

No... I'm pretty sure that would have been an improvement...
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 12:05 PM on September 12, 2011


> stepson = step on. Damn iOS devices and those tiny tap targets!
posted by cjorgensen at 12:21 PM on September 12, 2011


One is a fruiting fungi. The other is a m...

No. Sorry. Can't do it.


I must have the end of this joke. Trying to google the right rhyme leads right back here.
posted by anotherpanacea at 1:15 PM on September 12, 2011


ah, joy. it was just as freaky as I remembered.
posted by nomisxid at 1:22 PM on September 12, 2011


The same director also did a nasty little horror short.
posted by empath at 1:36 PM on September 12, 2011


I'm confused. The Mefi thread seems to be from June 13, 2006. But the link in the OP goes to a page that appears to be from April 14, 2009.

There was a period where the link in the post was entirely gone or they were requested to remove it or something. I remember going back to find that again and the link didn't work, so I shrugged and moved on and went and found a copy on YouTube. So I guess they reposted it in 2009.
posted by loquacious at 2:06 PM on September 12, 2011


I must have the end of this joke. Trying to google the right rhyme leads right back here.

The format is:
Q: "What's the difference between A and B?"
A: "One is a [very precise description of A], and the other is A."

So in this case, the standard answer would be 'the other is a mushroom.'

Exercise:
Combine this joke format with a Russian Reversal. (Points: 1 Internet.)
posted by kaibutsu at 2:23 PM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'll be mellow when I'm dead
posted by item at 2:26 PM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Damn it. I was hoping for a funny Spoonerism.
posted by anotherpanacea at 2:28 PM on September 12, 2011


I don't do funny.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:29 PM on September 12, 2011


So in this case, the standard answer would be 'the other is a mushroom.'

See also "what's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer", one's a scum-sucking bottom-dweller, etc.

Combine this joke format with a Russian Reversal.

The degree of difficulty for a not horribly contrived piece of work here seems high. None of the horribly contrived stuff I've come up with even passes the groan threshold.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:53 PM on September 12, 2011


In Soviet Russia, bottom-dwelling lawyers suck you.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:54 PM on September 12, 2011


I considered a couple of variations on "scum sucks you", or possibly a fishmonger upset about being sued for food poisoning, but nothing really gelled.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:56 PM on September 12, 2011


Of course, my variation is flawed by the obvious fact that being sucked is clearly a good thing, but that's the only way I could get the construction to even make sense.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:59 PM on September 12, 2011


When I wake up screaming tonight due to watching that, I'm going back to the damn phone number thread and calling every one of you!
posted by tomswift at 3:03 PM on September 12, 2011


I miss image tags! we could snark on a whole different level.
posted by tomswift at 3:06 PM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


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posted by not_on_display at 3:18 PM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


I considered a couple of variations on "scum sucks you", or possibly a fishmonger upset about being sued for food poisoning, but nothing really gelled.

My computer screen is tiny so the first line of that ended "or possibly a fishmonger upset" and I got really excited because it sounded like a bit of dialogue from an Ocean's 11 type movie about joke-writers.

"All right, we start nice and easy with a two-top Irish Set-up, then Flo plays a Russian Inversion and Cortex closes with a Fishmonger Upset, extra salt."

"Joey the Baboon tried one of those in Mankato in '93, crowd pulled his eyebrows straight off."

"Oh."

"Yeah but on the bright side now he can do a Winnipeg Fert without lube."
posted by villanelles at dawn at 3:21 PM on September 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


Combine this joke format with a Russian Reversal.

In Russian Reversal, Joke combines you!

wait.. I'll come in again
posted by Devils Rancher at 3:38 PM on September 12, 2011


Two-top Irish Set-up:

Q: "What's the difference between A and B?"
A: "One is a [very precise description of A], and the other is A."

Russian Reversal:

"In Soviet Russia, B A's you."

Fishmonger Upset:

"Your BA looks like a ling cod's kisser..."

Extra Salt:

"...after it's been sitting out in the sun all week, seagulls picking at the fetid, rheumy eyes."

Winnipeg Fert Without Lube:

*pulls lower lip over forehead*
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:54 PM on September 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


If you've ever done it, you'll know that "fert" is onomatopaeic.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 4:02 PM on September 12, 2011


Yep. You make your best Arseface and go *FERT!* Used to bring the house down in Winnipeg back in the 30s.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:16 PM on September 12, 2011


Sorry Jim, I'm just not seeing it. Maybe I need a splib or something.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 4:39 PM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


That Folgers commercial is one of my favoritest things ever. It's so... yeah.

The perfect blend of sunny hippie optimism and complete annoyingness.

If I could generate that energy all around me in daily life, I'd be a very happy bear.
posted by hippybear at 4:45 PM on September 12, 2011


There are no happy people on Metafilter.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:49 PM on September 12, 2011


Only when you're around, LIB.
posted by hippybear at 4:51 PM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


From the more inside portion of this post I was expecting Cthulhu.
posted by Sailormom at 4:53 PM on September 12, 2011


A happy Cthulhu is a terrifying thought, indeed.
posted by loquacious at 5:11 PM on September 12, 2011


OR'lyeh?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:30 PM on September 12, 2011


"One is a [very precise description of A], and the other is A."

The below, my favorite lawyer joke, defies that paradigm. There is an implied (omitted) punchline involving an exchange of phonemes.
What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?
When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its first primal urge is to cluck defiant.
posted by exogenous at 5:34 PM on September 12, 2011 [8 favorites]


"There are skid marks in front of the rooster?"
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:42 PM on September 12, 2011


The perfect blend of sunny hippie optimism and complete annoyingness.

I've got a band for you.
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:48 PM on September 12, 2011


That Folgers commercial is one of my favoritest things ever.

That Folgers commercial is one of the most inadvertently apt analogues for its product ever: it's presented as something simple and unpretentious that should be easily likable, but makes me shudder on first contact and then wonder who could be so masochistic as to actually like it, it being so wrong.
posted by psoas at 5:48 PM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


psoas: exactly.

You can sleep when you are dead.
posted by hippybear at 7:12 PM on September 12, 2011


THE BIG SLEEP?!
posted by not_on_display at 7:36 PM on September 12, 2011


God FUCKING damn it that song will NEVER LEAVE MY HEAD AGAIN will it?
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:41 PM on September 12, 2011


God FUCKING damn it that song will NEVER LEAVE MY HEAD AGAIN will it?

Ha-cha-cha-cha-CHA....

Hello world....
posted by hippybear at 7:45 PM on September 12, 2011


It's like if Up With People mated with sunbeams.

*clap clap* Happy Morning!!!!
posted by hippybear at 7:48 PM on September 12, 2011


I so very very much want The Polyphonic Spree to expand this song and do a full-length version of it.

Maybe with special guest vocalists The Brady Kids.

BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE FUCKING AWESOME!
posted by hippybear at 7:52 PM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Someone please get hippybear a paper sack to breathe into.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:58 PM on September 12, 2011 [5 favorites]


The annoyed dog baring its teeth at the sunbeam person!!! :D

I HAVE LOVED THIS COMMERCIAL FOR YEARS.
posted by hippybear at 8:02 PM on September 12, 2011


In Soviet Russia, A precisely describes you!
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:04 PM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


NO SOVIET EVER FELT AS SUNNY ABOUT THE FUTURE AS THAT COMMERCIAL AND SONG MAKES ME FEEL!!!!!
posted by hippybear at 8:10 PM on September 12, 2011


*breathes deep into paper bag*

Okay, coming down...

must wind down and sleep soon....

*whew*

*whew*
posted by hippybear at 8:10 PM on September 12, 2011


*clap clap*
posted by hippybear at 8:11 PM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Woah, how is it that out of 1.5 threads on this commercial, only two people previously noticed the crazy racial politics? The sunny morning happy people are practically from the Aryan brotherhood, and they continually harass people who are black, hispanic, swarthy, dark-haired, and scruffy-looking. WTF?
posted by lesli212 at 8:22 PM on September 12, 2011


WHY, FOLGERS, WHY???
posted by villanelles at dawn at 8:26 PM on September 12, 2011


I'll sleep when I'm dead.
posted by scalefree at 8:28 PM on September 12, 2011


The sunny morning happy people are practically from the Aryan brotherhood

I'm pretty sure they're from the Sinestro Corps, actually.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:41 PM on September 12, 2011


I'm pretty sure they're from the Sinestro Corps, actually.

What's the difference between cortex and the United States? One tacitly encourages racism, turns a blind eye towards bigotry, and uses the flag to browbeat those who don't fall in line into submission, the other flags you!
posted by villanelles at dawn at 8:47 PM on September 12, 2011


Anyone tries to sing that song to me, it's best they be non-corporeal, because I'd be likely to involuntarily discorporate anyone that perky before 8 am.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:48 PM on September 12, 2011


The weird thing is I couldn't reproduce the Glowing Yellow Oppression Song to save my life after having heard it again this morning, but just the lede on this post has doomed me to having that goddam REM tune in my head all day.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:52 PM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Who needs creepy and irritating people to wake you up in the morning when you've got an annoying, hungry cat that wants to be fed before sunrise.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 8:53 PM on September 12, 2011


that goddam REM

"STAND in the place where you work..." is honest-to-god what went off on my wife's ipod at 6 this morning. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:15 PM on September 12, 2011


An attempt, mostly failed:

Q: What's the difference between a non-orientable surface and a failed communist state?

A: One is Soviet Russia and the other reverses you!
posted by kaibutsu at 9:24 PM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


They are the 5-dimensional rubik's cubes of jokes.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 9:36 PM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


In Soviet Russia, the difference between a catfish and a lawyer is you!
posted by davejay at 10:40 PM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


That is some good stuff right there. I think I came out ahead though, because I had this tune stuck in my head today:

Bill Withers - Lovely Day
posted by P.o.B. at 11:31 PM on September 12, 2011


Ha ha ha! Drugs!
posted by tumid dahlia at 12:19 AM on September 13, 2011


Who knew the Ready Brek kid had that big a family?
posted by arcticseal at 1:57 AM on September 13, 2011


Furry Happy Monsters
posted by ChuraChura at 6:43 AM on September 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


OK, so at my last writer's group meeting a bunch of us started in on puns at the end. One of people not participating (who hates puns) left us with this cryptic question:

"What's the difference between you guys and a clever kicker in football?"

We puzzled it our after a few minutes. You see, one is a cunning punter (in NA football), and we were punning...
posted by never used baby shoes at 10:51 AM on September 13, 2011


That is so not even a verb.
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:57 PM on September 13, 2011


Verbing weirds language.
posted by loquacious at 8:11 PM on September 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


I saw nothing strange about that commercial. That's how everyone else acts when I wake up. And it doesn't stop all day. IT DOESN'T STOP ALL DAY!
posted by Splunge at 3:39 AM on September 14, 2011


This would be an excellent Burning Man theme camp.
posted by small_ruminant at 10:11 AM on September 14, 2011


This would be an excellent Burning Man theme camp.

Blonde wigs, gold clothing, sunny music, and lots and lots of coffee.

Although you'd have to construct the camp in such a way that the people participating in the theme are always coming at the visitors with the sun behind them.
posted by hippybear at 4:23 PM on September 15, 2011


Or else they can glow.

The key part of this is the 6? 7? am cheery music and general pestering.

I am plugging for a whole troup of cheery, singing, golden Java cows.
posted by small_ruminant at 4:48 PM on September 15, 2011


Well, I have two Up With People vinyl albums and the entire Polyphonic Spree catalog, plus can locate the Brady Kids albums pretty instantly online if needed...

Even if those aren't sources for the actual music used, it's a pretty great place to learn how to make music that is exactly that cheerful and annoying and catchy.
posted by hippybear at 4:55 PM on September 15, 2011


I was unfortunate enough to see the Polyphonic Spree live.
posted by small_ruminant at 5:00 PM on September 15, 2011


Unfortunate? I've seen them live twice, and hope and pray they'll tour for the album they're working on releasing now.

De gustibus non disputandum est, I suppose.
posted by hippybear at 5:20 PM on September 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


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