Calvin and Charlie Brown, I presume? May 6, 2013 11:13 AM   Subscribe

Looking for two posts/links about Calvin and the Peanuts characters and what they were like as adults.

These great FPPs about classic comic strips made me remember two posts or links, describing both Calvin and the main characters of Peanuts as they were as adults. They may have been written by a Mefite. They may have first been posted to MetaChat. Calvin did well with computers, and Lucy was a lawyer, among other things.

It was definitely two separate links, one was Calvin and the other was Peanuts. Can you help me find them? Thank you!
posted by Melismata to MetaFilter-Related at 11:13 AM (29 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

Are you possibly thinking of Hobbes and Bacon?
posted by elizardbits at 11:19 AM on May 6, 2013

No, it was just a few short paragraphs describing what happened to him.
posted by Melismata at 11:22 AM on May 6, 2013

Oh, and for the Peanuts one: I think the actual names (Lucy, Charlie Brown, etc.) were not used, they were only identifiable by the descriptions. Makes it harder to search for...
posted by Melismata at 11:27 AM on May 6, 2013

This post about the Yuletide Fanfic Exchange has a couple of Calvin stories linked that may be what you're looking for, or at least close. I believe I remember the Peanuts one that didn't use their names, will investigate further.
posted by asperity at 11:31 AM on May 6, 2013

You want The Whelk's take on Calvin & Hobbes, which might be the FPP for the Peanuts story but I can't tell (link rot).
posted by gauche at 11:34 AM on May 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

That's the Calvin one, gauche! Woo-hoo! Thanks!
posted by Melismata at 11:38 AM on May 6, 2013

Good find, gauche! I'm pasting the story from the FPP below:



While going through my archives, I found this piece. I wrote it shortly after Charles Schulz died. I thought it was a very good piece, and emailed it to my friends--most of whom didn't get it at all.
Of course, I sent it without the faintest hint of an explanation: I may have put "Charles Schulz, R.I.P." in the subject header, but that was about it. Mea culpa.

And I can't bring myself to do much more this time around, except to note that there's usually only one way that change ever comes to the eternal childhood immortality of a comic strip, and that's by the strip being cancelled--and sometimes not even then.

SHE became a lawyer, which surprised no one but herself. Except for a brief flirtation with psychology (which she abandoned when she realized it involved med school) she had simply been drawn to, as she put it, "The power, the money, and the love of a good argument." She never ruled out marriage, but her romances always seemed to end with flying vases and cab rides across town in an overcoat and nightgown to sleep at Frieda's or Violet's. She realized that she'd made as many enemies as friends at the firm, which was no way to make partner, but she was really proud of the fact that even her enemies couldn't deny she was aces in the courtroom.

She worried constantly about her younger brother, who, after a stormy voyage through the seminary in which he was almost thrown out more than once, and a hair-raising stint of missionary work in Central America in which he llost hearing in one ear thanks to being too close to a semiautomatic rifle going off, had ultimately settled down to a small ministry in the inner city, where he was obviously very happy. Even though she never lost a chance to get in a dig at him for going nowhere fast, whenever he showed up on the local news presenting petitions or testifying at city council meetings, she always watched as if it were the Superbowl.

If anyone asked her why she always played classical music even though she couldn't tell Mozart from Moussorgsky, she would laugh very loudly and say it reminded her of the boy she left behind.

HE never got in to Juillard, which always rankled, but still ended up with an entirely respectable Ph.D. in Music History and stints as both Associate Professor of Music and Composer-In-Residence at two midwestern universities. He had even had his Second Piano Concerto performed by the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra, and had a CD of it pressed at his own expense. He married a member of the ensemble he played in: she was ten years his junior, and one day he came home to an empty apartment. After that, he gave up teaching and, after going to Paris to study for a while, settled down in the Northwest, dividing time between being a velvet-voiced announcer at a classical music station and giving music lessons to a few students. He married again, this time happily, to a professor of romance languages that he met at a Do-It-Yourself-Messiah concert one Christmas. They adopted a child, a little girl.

SHE had barely squeaked into college, she always said, and had gravitated towards a Phys. Ed. degree, because "those who can't do, teach--and those who can't teach, teach gym." But one day, while she was shooting hoops at the local Y, she met the handsomest man she had ever seen--or at least she thought so at the time. It turned out he worked at the PR firm her best friend worked (they had drifted apart afteer graduation)--and as she was not in the least embarrassed to say,"the reest was history." They had five kids, and while this took its toll on her fem-jock's figure, her oldest son would testify that she had a fastball that could burn a hole in a mitt." About the only cause of friction is that she persists in calling her husband "Chip" even though he hates it.

HE tried teaching after college, but soon found himself working downtown at the Board of Education. Inside of a few years he was director of educational enrichment services for the whole metropolitan area. When he finally married the teacher he'd been dating for years, the whole office breathed a sigh of relief. (It was right after a Halloween party where he was Daddy Warbucks and she was Little Orphan Annie.) He turned down a promotion because it would have taken him away from actual contact with kids, but after their third child was born, he took the post. But he would still go to school playgrounds and watch the kids play. He coached Little League, even though his own kids showed no interest in sports: he never pressed them. Although he never really encouraged it, everyone called him Chuck: he just wasn't the 'Mr. Brown' sort.

HE often talked about the dog he had had--going into detail about his little antics, running around with the supper dish in his mouth, chasing the birds that didn't seem to be scared of him in the slightest, chasing airplanes as if they were birds. He always said that he felt his childhood ended the night that, after so many years, in the middle of a big thuderstorm, his old little beagle vanished without a trace. Until then, he would say, he thought that nothing would ever change, the bad as well as the good. Then his dog ran off--"either to die or to chase airplanes--or, maybe both." He never got tired of telling those stories, even though, in later years, his wife had to correct him when he would call the dog "Sparky" throughout the course of an evening.

"Now why did I do that?" he'd say. "I must be getting old."

Posted: Monday - September 05, 2005 at 12:46 AM

(Credit: Peter Gillis)
posted by asperity at 11:40 AM on May 6, 2013 [32 favorites]

And that's the other one, asperity!! You guys are great!!
posted by Melismata at 11:42 AM on May 6, 2013

Something kind of like the Peanuts movie thing referenced in that thread - Blockhead - did sort of get made? Ish? There's a short film called Blockhead's Revenge which I fully admit I only know of because it stars some of the cast members of Teen Wolf.
posted by elizardbits at 11:46 AM on May 6, 2013

Oh, and I didn't know about the Hobbes and Bacon thing, thank you for that too!
posted by Melismata at 11:49 AM on May 6, 2013

Oh, there's Blockhead's War, too, which is postapocalyptic pan-comic insanity in 50's MAD Magazine style comics.
posted by boo_radley at 11:49 AM on May 6, 2013

There's also Dog Sees God, which is a pretty moving look at the Peanuts gang as teens in a play format. It's definitely sort of R rated though.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 11:56 AM on May 6, 2013

There's always the classic "Peanuts by Charles Bukowski," but it seems to have fallen off the Net.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:29 PM on May 6, 2013

It's still in the Wayback Machine.
posted by COD at 12:46 PM on May 6, 2013 [3 favorites]

Although only conceptually related, i was immediately reminded of this.
posted by emptythought at 1:47 PM on May 6, 2013

I thought it might have been in the Bacon and Hobbes two-part strip, which is also still available on, where the original has vanished.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:54 PM on May 6, 2013 [2 favorites]

I don't know if this was what you were thinking about with the Peanuts memory but either way, have you seen this Peanuts/Louis C.K. mashup?
posted by Toekneesan at 2:22 PM on May 6, 2013

I was wondering where all these extra clicks where coming from!

FYI, I remembered I cleaned up that story while back and never posted it anywhere so you go, expanded slightly and de-typo'ed
posted by The Whelk at 3:14 PM on May 6, 2013 [3 favorites]

There was yet another comic about Calvin, when he was an old man. He was living alone, a widower (since Susan had died; he placed a red rose in front of her picture). He has a heart attack and dies. And Hobbes greets him on the other side.

Where was that one?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:33 PM on May 6, 2013

The Whelk, any chance you've got an updated (expanded and de-typo'd) version of that somewhere that doesn't give away the "punchline" in the title and header of the page? Would love to be able to pass the link around to a few people, but it definitely doesn't feel as "strong" if you "get it" up front.

Obviously I can just copy/pasta, but I'm lazy and people don't read emails :)
posted by ish__ at 3:38 PM on May 6, 2013

here ya go
posted by The Whelk at 3:40 PM on May 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

You're awesome, thanks!!!
posted by ish__ at 3:46 PM on May 6, 2013

The Whelk is a national treasure.
posted by ericost at 7:59 PM on May 6, 2013

The Whelk is a national treasure.

I agree!

But which nation?
posted by mazola at 11:12 PM on May 6, 2013

Westphalia, obviously.
posted by solarion at 3:06 AM on May 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

FYI, Pants are Overrated (the home of Hobbes and Bacon) is back up on the web. They were down for awhile, but got their domain back recently. No more new comics though.
posted by jvilter at 6:12 AM on May 7, 2013

I wrote this comment about grown-up Calvin being Frazz.
posted by frecklefaerie at 9:09 AM on May 7, 2013

Somewhere, it was suggested that Jeremy from Zits is Calvin. It may have been from me, but I got it from somewhere else.
posted by Melismata at 10:45 AM on May 7, 2013

that was onefellswoop/wendell.
posted by The Whelk at 10:59 AM on May 7, 2013

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