Improving community by creating east coast west coast rivalry August 17, 2013 6:04 AM   Subscribe

Earlier this week Cashman made an excellent post on the controversy caused by Kendrick Lamar's verse in Control. Metafilter threw down, with exposition, arguments, and rebuttals. It was an awesome topic, and apparently a great community builder for the rap world.

Then it hit me... Sure, we do best of competitions all the time, but it is always been done by an individual, never by east coast / west coast tribe... So here's the question... Does Boston / NYC / DC make better COMMENTS or POSTS than their LA / SF / Portland / Seattle counterparts? Where is the dexterity to our artform? (And sure... Chicago can try to represent too - but pick a side or you'll be assigned by your NBA conference - which is currently east coast).

So that's it, I'm looking for links to the best of comments and new comments, that show dexterity of word, wit, clever double entendre, and anything that might make a poet or rapper envious... this is all in the spirit of good will and community improvement - something that everyone here hopefully supports.

Sorry folks, this is for bragging rights only... I've got nothing to give. Other than an idea.

I'm hoping someone is up for a challenge to write some lyrical verse on Matt Taibbi's next article or even on librarians lip syncing twenty year old Beastie Boy songs...




*Note: not all comments line up to specific categorizations, hopefully you get the theme.
posted by Nanukthedog to MetaFilter-Related at 6:04 AM (72 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

A sample of what I'm talking about was stenseng's comment.

Poetic, on topic, and perfect...
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:06 AM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is the third territorial throwdown I've seen on the web this week. (DC/Baltimore page-seeking publications went another round and there was some inter- and intra-borough jousting on Twitter after some story about Greenpoint being the least appealing neighborhood in Brooklyn). Is it something about mid-August?

Anyway, going to go check out that thread, which I probably would've missed otherwise. Thanks for pointing it out!
posted by EvaDestruction at 6:14 AM on August 17, 2013


So an American Jerk off am i rite. Carry on then in your isolationist looking glass.
posted by adamvasco at 6:40 AM on August 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


We can do Australia vs. Europe too if you'd like to.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:56 AM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Obviously, the Best Comments are the ones made from Wherever I Happen to Be. Well, not counting all the better comments made elsewhere, of course, but We Do Not Speak of That. Well, I don't. You probably do.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:04 AM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Australia vs. Europe

I give up already! Oz argybargy is dinky-di and/or fully sick. Or so I've heard.
posted by taz (staff) at 7:21 AM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


...but pick a side or you'll be assigned by your NBA conference - which is currently east coast).

ಠ_ಠ
posted by jquinby at 7:32 AM on August 17, 2013


I don't mean to boast but the east coast is better than the wannabe jet-setters living it out on the west one. I mean California takes up the whole damn ocean, so don't bother fighting 'cause the game's been fixed -- we got 28 senators and you've got 6. You say you're in it to win it but it'll be over in a minute. You don't understand? Let me get more specific: not much longer 'til you slide into the Pacific.
posted by nobody at 8:03 AM on August 17, 2013 [11 favorites]


LA, Portland, I do not wish to fight you. you are my brothers. It's not important which of us wins.

It is important that Chicago loses.
posted by The Whelk at 8:49 AM on August 17, 2013 [7 favorites]


nobody, our borders might be pally but the west coast ain't just Cali, try an' diss OR by association you'll end up negotiatin' the extrication of your implication from your own cave system in the O.R. Look at my bike, you think I wanna be a jet-setter, I'm a granola-powered go-getter, you should trim your own fat instead a' counting up your senators like more cockroaches is better, we got Wyden and that's more than enough for votin' right and and keeping on the progressive lights, dude never got distracted from the spirit of the job by Greenwich country club lobbyist cheddar.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:56 AM on August 17, 2013 [20 favorites]


I'm lost.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:59 AM on August 17, 2013


Lemme get this straight:
You wanna battle me
retroactively?
talkin improvement?
come up with some new shit
do shit, collectin statistics?
That's whack, what, you be
trollin through old comment fables
fakin controversy?

I only got one word of advice:
GTFO, GYOB and keep my name
out yo recent activity.
posted by Lorin at 9:00 AM on August 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


There once was a man from Nantucket

no wait
posted by billiebee at 9:00 AM on August 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


One of my many favourite moments of that post (other than I METATALK ATOMICALLY) was reading this verse from box, thinking "Man, that was tight, who is this dude?" Occupation: Public librarian.
posted by Lorin at 9:01 AM on August 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


It's all fun and games until someone's plate of beans gets knocked over.
posted by arcticseal at 9:20 AM on August 17, 2013


Nanuck, you are a bad person and should feel bad. How do you make a post on this thread in Metatalk and not mention the awesome rap battle that broke in the thread?

It kind of starts here. But really starts here. It's the best of metafilter and needs to be sidebarred. If anyone had told me a text rap battle would be awesome, I would've laughed in their face. But it is.
posted by nooneyouknow at 9:21 AM on August 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


Fuck all the stultifying regionalism; this is the WWW, bitches.
posted by planetesimal at 9:47 AM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


please someone bring a Gopher beef
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:48 AM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Seriously, the dis battle is amazing and I'm expecting dis tracks from the mods in the next podcast.
posted by nooneyouknow at 9:50 AM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Lol Americans, you so quaint! I could lick you like a coat of paint.

East Coast vs West Coast? Ok, I am in England, so that would be Skeggy and Whitby vs Blackpool and Burnley, right? So if I am in Leicestershire, which side would I be on?
posted by marienbad at 10:03 AM on August 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


Clearly, those of us born on the West Coast who now live on the East Coast should be able to outdo the rest of you, thanks to the combined superpowers of both locations.
posted by thomas j wise at 10:06 AM on August 17, 2013


We can do Australia vs. Europe too if you'd like to.

OK then, I'll get right on it (wheels out his acrostic sonnet)
posted by flabdablet at 10:44 AM on August 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


We can do Australia vs. Europe too if you'd like to.

That's a good way to piss off the kiwis if nothing else.
posted by shelleycat at 10:59 AM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


We can do Australia vs. Europe too if you'd like to

We could, but considering most ozzies are already in London working as bartenders, it would be an unfair contest.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:01 AM on August 17, 2013


Can't we all just get along?
posted by Cranberry at 11:04 AM on August 17, 2013


"So an American Jerk off am i rite. Carry on then in your isolationist looking glass."

;_; im da bes
posted by klangklangston at 11:23 AM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


For those looking for material for putting together some good battle verse, check out this inspirational video.
posted by jammy at 11:39 AM on August 17, 2013


I'm da bes

Gmcfosho is consistently a funny creative dude. His videos aren't all complete successes in the vein of "I'm da bes" but the part in the "speakas so loud" video where he says "the lost city of Atlanta" gets me every time.
posted by to sir with millipedes at 12:00 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


This isn't even a competition New York invented Internet commenting in 1979.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:18 PM on August 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


Of course, Jamaicans invented Usenet.
posted by box at 12:42 PM on August 17, 2013


I roam in the hood; you don't kill, box, you skeet

Metafilter rap battle getting oddly personal.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:50 PM on August 17, 2013


You could just go Atlantic vs. Pacific.
Choose your nearest ocean.

But Atlantic goes down like the Titanic.
posted by SLC Mom at 12:52 PM on August 17, 2013


Maybe not personal. Intimate.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:52 PM on August 17, 2013


Yeah, I kind of wish the Metafilter rap battle had been posted first too, because I started at the top and got really offended by the content, but now that I got down to the Metafilter rap battle I feel like everything's okay again.
posted by corb at 12:55 PM on August 17, 2013


I chose to interpret that line as a reference to my clay pigeon game.
posted by box at 12:56 PM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Austin has the best tacos and the best posters, bottom line.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 1:55 PM on August 17, 2013


/Makes NW sign.
posted by Artw at 2:28 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


As proud and possessive of my eight-years-ago-adopted home of San Luis Obispo/Pismo Beach, California that I am, one of my reasons for moving here was the fact that it is roughly halfway between Los Angeles and San Francisco, and, considering the pluses and minuses of both major cities, I liked the idea of a place that could be influenced by both - but not TOO much. (And regretably, the places fitting that description but with a lower cost of living were Fresno, which is way too hot, and Coalinga, which has a name that sounds like... well...)

So you can imagine that I would not particularly be interested in local rivalries... still, when I moved here, it was already the home of the Not-Yet-MeFite Currently Known As filthy light thief, who became a one-man Posting Posse on this site. So, I COULD have built a SLOtown (yes, the residents here accept that as a local nickname) MetaClique simply by dragging him along. But then, he had to go and move to Albuquerque (the place Bugs Bunny took wrong turns at, though Weird Al has a nice song about it - the same Weird Al who went to college at Cal Poly SLO and recorded his first hit songs at the college radio station), so if I'm going to develop a bitter rivalry, it should be with Albuquerque, the town whose very name is a terrible misspelling of the name of the founder, Al B. Kirk (while San Luis Obispo is the result of a failed promotional contract with Nabisco).

Besides, I was born in Cleveland, Ohio and spent just enough of my growing up years before my father dragged the family to L.A. to learn that 'pride of place' is kinda futile; sooner or later, your home town IS going to embarrass you (for me, it was when the heavily-polluted Cuyahoga River set on fire, then again when Drew Carey became a star).
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:30 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I have a question. What do all the "profanity is bad" people do when there isn't a rap thread for them to complain in.
posted by Ad hominem at 2:35 PM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Complain in the threads about fracking?
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:38 PM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Complain about profanity in threads about rock music, pop music, television, movies, novels, dictionaries and the legitimate theater?
posted by box at 2:41 PM on August 17, 2013


Coming soon: United Arab Emirates MeFite vs. Qatar MeFite.
posted by ambient2 at 2:46 PM on August 17, 2013


Maybe they complain in Deadwood threads.
posted by Ad hominem at 2:50 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


What do all the "profanity is bad" people do when there isn't a rap thread for them to complain in.

They spend the balance of their time twerking.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 2:53 PM on August 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


I chose to interpret that line as a reference to my clay pigeon game.

It was so impressive, I had to dedicate a rhyme to it.

Metafilter rap battle getting oddly personal.

Nah, all in good fun.
posted by ersatz at 3:36 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I have a question. What do all the "profanity is bad" people do when there isn't a rap thread for them to complain in.

I don't think people actually feel profanity, itself, is bad, persay. It's more specific.

I found myself bothered by the original lyrics of the verse - not because cursing is bad, but because I don't like the use of the N word, nor do I like the relegation of women to objects to be possessed, petted, or used as a source of shame. "bomb on they mom while she watchin’ the kids" is not exactly awesome. Nor is the "Gobble d–k up ’til you hiccup", which implies that there is something wrong with the act of fellatio, so either slut-shaming or homophobia.
posted by corb at 3:48 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well, I'd say a line or two was probably crossed, but maybe some black eyes can teach humility.
posted by planetesimal at 3:48 PM on August 17, 2013


User names starting with letters from the front half of the alphabet vs...
posted by Karmakaze at 3:59 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Nah, all in good fun.

Just meant it was a funny line considering skeet means ejaculate.

Nor is the "Gobble d–k up ’til you hiccup", which implies that there is something wrong with the act of fellatio, so either slut-shaming

I'm just saying I want equal callouts. Where were you guys in that Misfits thread last week. Didn't hear a peep in that thread.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:09 PM on August 17, 2013 [6 favorites]


A veritable trifecta of grandpawnification: I feel out of this geographically, culturally, and due to my advanced age and lawn-protection protocols.

Moving along.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:15 PM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


That thread was full of mefites using pretty quaint and somewhat embarrassing dog whistle language. But the actual conversation about the lyrics and the impact on the culture of hip hop was great.
posted by to sir with millipedes at 5:39 PM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


I roam in the hood; you don't kill, box, you skeet

>Just meant it was a funny line considering skeet means ejaculate.

[Insert la petite mort joke]
posted by ersatz at 5:42 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also the rap battle made it legendary.
posted by to sir with millipedes at 5:42 PM on August 17, 2013


Fuckin' profanity, man. That stuff is the shit.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:56 PM on August 17, 2013


thomas j wise: "Clearly, those of us born on the West Coast who now live on the East Coast should be able to outdo the rest of you, thanks to the combined superpowers of both locations."

It must not work the other direction, I guess. As Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey (born Queens, now an Oaklander) once commented ruefully (re: me), "When the whitest girl in town can say with no irony, 'Dude, your flow sucks' you know you're in Oakland."
posted by Lexica at 8:32 PM on August 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


I was wondering why bathroom spray makers don't give their products honest names like "poop mask" but then realized that could be misleading, and people would get the scent in their face because they sprayed themselves thinking it was a poop mask spray in a can.
posted by planetesimal at 9:18 PM on August 17, 2013


oooooooooo those laplanders really steam my lenses, by crokey.
posted by not_on_display at 9:48 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Planetesimal, once in fancy a perfume shop in Paris I saw bottles labeled Huile Anti Merde.

Anti Shit Oil. You drip a few drops in the toilet bowl before, during or after taking a shit to counteract the smell. I would have tried, but it was 30 euro for a 15ml bottle.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 12:16 AM on August 18, 2013


Amish vs. English
posted by Toekneesan at 5:23 AM on August 18, 2013


Huile Anti Merde

Sounds like Spencer Gifts has a Paris location.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 6:41 AM on August 18, 2013


I had a dream last night that metafilter changed to "The MetaFilter", so at the top of the page the links were "The Ask MetaFilter", "The MetaTalk", etc.

I wasn't sure where this tremendous insight belonged so I figured I'd just put it here.
posted by kiltedtaco at 7:19 AM on August 18, 2013


Doroteo Arango II: "Anti Shit Oil. You drip a few drops in the toilet bowl before, during or after taking a shit to counteract the smell. I would have tried, but it was 30 euro for a 15ml bottle."


Here you go: Poo-Pourri.
posted by Room 641-A at 8:48 AM on August 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


The REAL East Coast/West Coast battle, of course, is that you have the superior Pirates of the Caribbean and Space Mountain, but we still have a Peoplemover and a Country Bear Jamboree.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:49 PM on August 18, 2013


Big thanks to the MeFi staff in that thread for keeping it relatively railed, btw. I shudder to think about what that thread would have been like without moderation.
posted by en forme de poire at 10:49 PM on August 18, 2013


East coast: the new West coast.
There, ftfyall.
(Written in rainy rural Va. I'm on the team for the duration of my vacation, in other words)

(Also just sayin' Europe is big. No views about Australia, looks tiny of my map...I mean, it fits on my table, right?)
posted by Namlit at 5:27 AM on August 19, 2013


East? West? Colorado is the best. We smoke weed legally in our parks and yards eagerly. Cali kids who know best tend to find their way here. If the dro ain't your thing, we dominate at beer. You speak of flyover states unironically because you're chronically spewing mad shit sonically but step up in my state and we'll break your neck bionically.
posted by lordaych at 7:49 AM on August 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


More days of sunshine than any other state. Tell me bout your PNW but your clouds devastate any desire to inspire anything but ire, hipster states better stay wet because in CO we spit fire
posted by lordaych at 7:51 AM on August 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


New York? Psh, we're happy that you think you're the only state where your shit don't stink. Pretend we don't exist, it's all good because you see... Living in that shit hole after CO would be a tragedy
posted by lordaych at 7:54 AM on August 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


I get allergic smelling hay.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:42 AM on August 19, 2013


I have a question. What do all the "profanity is bad" people do when there isn't a rap thread for them to complain in.

They're downloading snuff films.
posted by karathrace at 11:42 AM on August 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


How am I just now seeing this?
posted by cashman at 6:22 PM on August 20, 2013


You weren't looking in the right spots before.
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:51 PM on August 21, 2013


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