Merry Christmas everyone! December 24, 2013 10:34 AM   Subscribe

Here is a picture of our little tree in our house by the sea. Hope your holidays are splendid!
posted by Lynsey to MetaFilter-Related at 10:34 AM (283 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

Merry everything, everyone!

Here's our combination Christmas Tree/New Year's Ёлка.
posted by griphus at 10:45 AM on December 24, 2013 [10 favorites]


We have a guy in my neighborhood who has been beefing up his portfolio by taking pictures of neighbors all year. This is the one he took of me and Jim (not_on_display) yesterday. We're doing the Chinese food thing this evening with my sister and making a big pot of chili tomorrow and having some folks over for movies. It's been one of the calmer holidaytime seasons of recent memory and for that I am truly grateful.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:48 AM on December 24, 2013 [38 favorites]


"Ёлки-палки, как красиво!"
posted by benito.strauss at 10:50 AM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


That's a wonderful photo, Jessamyn!

Here's our Christmas tree here in Cork.
posted by DarlingBri at 10:52 AM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


And great pictures. That beard is turning into something amazing.
posted by benito.strauss at 10:53 AM on December 24, 2013 [4 favorites]


Our Christmas Tree/holiday card wall. And here's tomorrow dinner simmering on the stove- Dad's meatballs!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:01 AM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]




I was up early this morning because my wife decided that we needed MORE SPROUTS for Christmas Eve dinner at her uncle's house tonight. Everyone in the supermarket was really happy and mellow at opening time, no frantic panicking going on. May everyone's festivities be stress free and joyful!
posted by arcticseal at 11:21 AM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


(Fair warning -- I'm going to favorite every comment in this thread)
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:25 AM on December 24, 2013 [16 favorites]


We are terrible at decorations at our house but we are enjoying fresh snow and the incremental return of light; my husband made this from our window the other day and I think a snowshoe beach walk is in the plans for today. Happy belated solstice (and a Merry Christmas, too)!
posted by charmedimsure at 11:28 AM on December 24, 2013 [15 favorites]


Here's our Christmas ficus. I wanted to get the dog in there, but she's refusing to leave the kitchen where the cookies are cooling on the table.
posted by taz (staff) at 11:30 AM on December 24, 2013 [14 favorites]




My daughter made us a new tree topper this year.
posted by COD at 11:37 AM on December 24, 2013 [24 favorites]


Ah, the perfect opportunity for the traditional ♫ Jingle Rock Bell ♫.
posted by vapidave at 11:37 AM on December 24, 2013 [12 favorites]


Shared this in another thread, but here it is again: And the town's houses were not safe from the mutant cat. Also, holy shit: The dog found where we stashed the other gingerbread house, and all that's left on the pizza pan base is a couple of smears of icing. Merry Christmas. *DOG BURP.*
posted by MonkeyToes at 11:57 AM on December 24, 2013 [10 favorites]


To celebrate, my sneaky dog ate one third of a Terry's milk chocolate orange this morning. The standard "whack and unwrap" advice transformed into "freak out and call the vet" and is now "observe carefully and bite your nails." Hopefully it will simply turn out to be "scrub the carpet and count your blessings." She seems fine.

Merry Christmas, nonetheless!
posted by mochapickle at 12:05 PM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


Merry Christmas!
posted by Artw at 12:09 PM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


Aaaah COD what a great tree topper! Of course, I'm a sucker for anything with googly eyes.

Hope everyone has a restful week. Bulgaroktonos and I are at my parents' house in Rhode Island; I wish we had time for a meet-up while we're here. Best best best wishes to everyone!
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 12:14 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


Here's our tree. If you look up and to the left you may note a Gorey Cat and the Fillyjonk looking on.
posted by Karlos the Jackal at 12:32 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


We did a fast Christmas card that we printed at home and sent out. I features our less than symmetrical Christmas lights out side.

A bit grainy and not that sharp, but honest. We have lots of relatives in Italy, hence the greeting.
posted by lampshade at 12:38 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


mochapickle, one year our fifteen-pound dog ate ALL of the chocolate out of my Christmas stocking, including most of the wrappers. He went on to live a good ten years after that. I don't remember walking him in the 24 hours following that incident, but I imagine his turds were extra festive.
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:41 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


Well, I grew up in Maine, and now I live in SC, and I thought it would be the coolest thing in the world to have palms in my yard, and now we have them, and I did this. Incidentally, this was also basically the solution to my "front of house looks very plain!" ask. Happy holidays everybody and safe travels to those traveling!
posted by ftm at 12:54 PM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


We have 2 cats and 2 small dogs that would doubtlessly put aside their differences to wreak havoc on any tree, so the Fig household went with a wreath this year.

Happy Holidays Metafilter!!
posted by Fig at 1:16 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


After 25 years on this earth, my brother has been trusted to ice the Christmas cake.
posted by hoyland at 1:21 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


The tree is up (I am too lazy to get the DSLR, hence the blur), the child is playing on the stairs, the local independent radio station is playing slightly subversive carols and chicken soup is simmering on the stove. Later I will make beef bourguignon, all for (what we hope is) an influx of friends and family come to drink, eat and be merry tomorrow in our new home.

Happy Christmas and Merry New Year.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 1:24 PM on December 24, 2013 [5 favorites]


Here's our tree, complete with the pentagram Greg Nog made on top!
posted by likeatoaster at 1:27 PM on December 24, 2013 [13 favorites]


HAIL SATAN
posted by Greg Nog at 1:27 PM on December 24, 2013 [26 favorites]


Christmas? It's still December 24th here! Don't give away the surprises of the 25th for those of us who lag behind the more easternly folks!

Here's our Christmas ficus

Huzzah for the Christmas ficus! My parents have amassed quite an impressive collection of ornaments, in part thanks to my mother buying us kids a new ornament every year, and getting more here and there. One year we had two full-sized live trees, plus a ficus that had come back from the dead and was flourishing. Though the ficus couldn't carry as many ornaments as redwoods, it put forth a good effort.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:27 PM on December 24, 2013 [5 favorites]


I love all of your holiday photos! I don't have any to share because I don't have one of those new-fangled Interwebs PHO-tography albums like all you kids nowadays.

But my grandmother's tree is a riot of tinsel and I'm about to walk over to my parents' house and drink wine and admire their tree which I decorated with cinnamon-applesauce ornaments.

Also not to be a jerk but last night I logged-out without posting a comment directed at another Mefite that involved the phrase "mystery wrapped in an enigma concealing a disingenous asshole" and that deletion is my holiday gift to you all! (And myself, because I didn't really want the night off it probably would have resulted in.)
posted by Snarl Furillo at 1:28 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


theBigRedKittyPurrs, your link shows a blank black page for me.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:28 PM on December 24, 2013 [4 favorites]


Happy Holidays!. All the live plants have lights and ornaments, there are four (4!) yule goats behind the drawer being repaired (none as yet have been burned by the kitty scofflaws who lurk about) and 5 smaller ones on the various trees.
posted by julen at 1:34 PM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


filthy light thief, I tested the link while I was still logged in. Second Try
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 1:41 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


Girlfriend made the house. I convinced the cat it was tasty.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:44 PM on December 24, 2013 [12 favorites]


Here is my yearly Christmas Card. Which I draw, print, and send to friends and family. I ordered like 100 this year. About 70 too many!
posted by hellojed at 1:50 PM on December 24, 2013 [13 favorites]


We don't have a tree, but we're visiting my parents tomorrow and this is their tree. They're moving in a week and already packed up all of the Xmas decorations.
posted by lizjohn at 1:50 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]




Hmm, apparently I don't have a photo of the tree, but I do have pictures of food.

These suckers have no idea what's coming to them.
I made this in my basement and people ate it!
I am very proud of this. Everything was homemade from scratch.
Desserts. Dangerous to have a baker in the house.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:52 PM on December 24, 2013 [12 favorites]




Tree!
Chocolate Babka I made at 2am.
Gougères from this afternoon.
I stupidly said I'd do apps this year and have so much to do still.
posted by chococat at 1:59 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]




My dogs need a lot of Yummy Chummies to get into the holiday spirit.

YES YES YES PLEASE can this also be the thread where people post photos of their pets in festively humiliating christmassy outfits? PLZ PLZ.
posted by elizardbits at 2:15 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


After a disastrous attempt at an all day cookie baking extravaganza that has netted 2.5 trips to the store, the subsequent discovery of many additional missing ingredients in the pantry and a cat or cats or possibly the chihuahua we are dog sitting for a friend knocking the last roll of paper towels into the utility room toilet but zero cookies I have decided fuck this, I'm sitting down in that armchair to the left of our tree with a bottle of wine and calling the day done and I'm OK with that.
posted by jamaro at 2:51 PM on December 24, 2013 [10 favorites]




well.....my new grandchild was born last night.....my son's first baby. Her name is Mary Elizabeth ....kinda fitting for this season. We are blessed.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 3:00 PM on December 24, 2013 [59 favorites]


The tree down the road is good enough for me.
posted by adamvasco at 3:17 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


Congrats Alia!
posted by spitbull at 3:20 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


Here is the dog in an impromptou Christmas cracker crown.


Here is the cat steadfastly refusing to allow me to put the crown anywhere near his head.

No tree, but we have the Christmas-ish mantelpiece, featuring dog toothpaste, a wind-up Dalek from my secret Quonsar, and an Audubon field guide in the place of honor.
posted by coppermoss at 3:22 PM on December 24, 2013 [11 favorites]


wintrymix made a Christmas pickle for me and valentine+1, who has brought a Christmas tree into my life for the first time. Alas, I'm not skilled enough to upload a photo of it. Instead, I will show you the yule log I lugged home on the train today. So much Christmas festivity for a nice Jewish lass like me!
posted by mlle valentine at 4:02 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


We're 1 minute into Christmas Day here in Ye Olde Englande. Wishing all MeFites, this unique and quite brilliant community, a Happy Christmas and a healthy and fulfilled 2014.
posted by Wordshore at 4:02 PM on December 24, 2013 [11 favorites]


From Monkeytoes Flickr. Best thing I've seen all year. [Linked with permission].
posted by vapidave at 4:17 PM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


Yay Christmas holiday for thems what celebrate it and a time to chill out and have time off anyways without having to deal with holiday things for thems what don't!
posted by rmd1023 at 4:21 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


My parents, siblings, and partner are together for the first time in a while with all of us healthy and I laughed so much today my abdominal muscles ache.

And here is my sister's dog dressed in her Santa suit.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:31 PM on December 24, 2013 [10 favorites]


COD I love that tree topper! And ftm, great tree lighting job! And congrats, Alia.

Here are our felines contemplating tree destruction. (Sime is the big brown guy in front of Doog the orange guy. We got a 5 foot tree this year & the aroma has been wonderful.
posted by yoga at 4:46 PM on December 24, 2013 [12 favorites]


I forgot to add that the elegant chip clip & towel boobytrap are to keep Otto our yellow lab from drinking the tree water. Which apparently induces excessive drooling, we learned.
posted by yoga at 4:48 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


Late to the party, but here's our "fits in the bay window but just barely" tree
posted by dotgirl at 5:19 PM on December 24, 2013 [11 favorites]


Bop Solid Jesus
posted by philip-random at 5:29 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


We went with a Slim Fast Tree this year.

In related news, I had a 4 hr travel layover this holiday season at the Pittsburgh Amtrak Station which had a tree (that I unfortunately and stupidly did not get a pic of) in the lobby area where the Christmas decoration budget was otherwise a victim of the sequester.
posted by lampshade at 5:43 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


We don't have a tree, but I loaded up my specimen cabinet and added some colored lights. It's virtually cat proof!

Was going to make an apple cream tart, but all of a sudden I got an urge for poke cake so we're doing rib roast, swiss chard with garlic, red potatoes, mashed or cheesy, and poke cake for dessert. Tart to follow later in the week.

Wishing you all a wonderful holiday!
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 5:48 PM on December 24, 2013 [10 favorites]


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all. I don't have a tree or any decorations for that matter, but I did just see this tweet from @deadheadland which I will leave here with the link to the song: Jerry Garcia Band - Jingle Bells - 12/20/75 Winterland (this is really mostly all Nicky Hopkins on keys)

I will be jingling all the way this year. Hope Santa likes the chocolate chip cookies.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:29 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


My Leaning Tower of Treeza
Happy Holidays from the beach!
posted by sara is disenchanted at 6:36 PM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


Small, yet mighty fbk tree. Merry whatever-your-preferred-celebration-is, y'all.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 6:37 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


This is our first attempt at a "grown up" tree. Pretty good, I think. Then our kid surreptitiously put this on it. And this next to it.
posted by jeoc at 6:37 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


Favorite ornament.
posted by eyeballkid at 6:38 PM on December 24, 2013 [14 favorites]


The letter to Santa.
posted by MonkeyToes at 7:11 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


Here's our tree, with new stockings I just finished crocheting this week!

Luna is unimpressed.

Merry merry to you and your loved ones!
posted by ApathyGirl at 7:15 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


Mods bless us, everyone!
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:32 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


This is my very first Christmas where I will spend the day on my own.

My family's gotten into the habit of having big Christmases when my brother's family is with us, and then smaller ones on the years he's with his in-laws. In the past, though, there was at least one other set of aunt, uncle, and cousins who would join my parents and I on Christmas day - but this year they're not. So that left my parents and one aunt (who only joins us on Christmas Day) and me. So we all decided to do what we do for the Thanksgivings it's just us - meet for just a day on the day or two before the holiday in question, have dinner, and then everyone goes home and just chills out on the day of. this is the first year we're doing this on Christmas. And For a while I wasn't sure just how festive I wanted to get if it was just me.

But.

I'm still by myself, but I've decided I really kind of am looking forward to that. I'm roasting a duck for the first time, I've gotten a couple of packages mailed to me that I'm holding off opening until tomorrow, there is a lot of chocolate in the house and a lot of my favorite food. And a week or so ago, two of my good friends came and helped me put up the tree.

Merry Christmas.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:50 PM on December 24, 2013 [18 favorites]


We're pretty irreligious but Francois and I decorated his motorcycle for the holidays.
posted by workerant at 8:04 PM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


The Christmassing area, pre-presents
posted by Artw at 8:04 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


I always felt bad for people in warm climates during the holidays because they never got a white Christmas but this year I'm out in Northern California and it was 70 degrees and sunny today while it's currently 14 degrees back home in Pittsburgh. White Christmases are overrated.
posted by octothorpe at 8:10 PM on December 24, 2013 [10 favorites]


Merry Christmas from a cave.
posted by The Whelk at 8:37 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


A picture of our decorations from last year, which are the same as the decorations from this year - Charlie Brown Tree, Bah Humbug Banner, and Santa-mingo.

What we lack in decorations my wife makes up in gift wrapping. Her seasonal job in high school and college was wrapping presents at Neiman Marcus, so everyone always looks forward to seeing the presents from us. She takes gift wrapping very seriously.

So Happy Christmas or Merry Holiday or whatever it is you celebrate, or don't celebrate. We're off to my MILs house tomorrow to meet up with some of the wife's family, and then off to see my folks and siblings over the weekend.
posted by ralan at 8:40 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


Happy holidays from the tipys light thief, and his less tipsy family.

For your holiday distractions, you might find yourself browsing through the Netflix instant streams, but 'Lady Gaga & the Muppets' Holiday Spectacular' is neither a real Muppets event, nor is any sort of a Holiday Spectacular. It's mostly a plug for Gaga's new album, with a few moments with various Muppets.

With that, I offer Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, without and with MST3K-ification.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:42 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


Good day everybody, I am a brand new not-expat and have joined the landowning class so it is important I cram as much Christmas as possible in to make up for the missing decades. Here is my excellent family doing their first real serious effort at Christmas, here is my very Christmasy view of the barn where all the good things are happening. Rock on guys!!!!1
posted by Meatbomb at 8:47 PM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


I always felt bad for people in warm climates during the holidays because they never got a white Christmas but this year I'm out in Northern California and it was 70 degrees and sunny today while it's currently 14 degrees back home in Pittsburgh. White Christmases are overrated.

I'm the other way -- after a bunch of Christmases in Florida and Texas, a warm Christmas just seems... kinda sad and pathetic. Like it's missing the mark, or not really participating in the full Christmasness of Christmas. There's a time for 70 and sunny, and it's not now.

After our own smaller version of the unseasonable warmth in the northeast last week, it finally got cold again and today it got PROPER cold -- it's 10F on our deck right now -- and we got a couple inches of snow and I tell you what... it was like the world coming back into place, and all was right. So we took the dogs for a good long walk and got cold faces and chilly legs and got back and had hot choclety milk and it was AWESOME.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:52 PM on December 24, 2013 [10 favorites]


So. We were over my folks' house for Crimmas Eve, they are literally 5 mins away from my driveway, and my sis and her beau and her 4y.o. twin girls are down from the big city for the holiday.

At some point in the future, I will worry that I'm not bringing my little girl up right. That I'm instilling and re-inforcing all that is wrong with our culture. At that point, I will remember tonight's =beyond epic temper-tantrum= ... I mean carry her bodily out to the car when she's doing her damnedest to squirm free, shrieking like a banshee the whole while.

Why?

She wants to wake up with her cousins to see what Santa brought them. We asked her, "Don't you want to see the candy and toys Santa brought you? You have to be at home to see that..."

"NO! I don't want presents or candy! I want to wake up here, with us together!"

Yeah. We still brought her home, but maaaaan... a little girl puts being with family above getting stuff. She's got it right. My heart broke a little, right there.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:58 PM on December 24, 2013 [21 favorites]


My Christmas tree... Trying to be festive for me and my dog. We're eating leftover pizza (crusts only for him) and watching endless Castle reruns. Oh and trying not to pay too close attention to how pathetic that sounds!
posted by cecic at 9:01 PM on December 24, 2013 [11 favorites]


Warm Christmases feel a bit odd when you've grown up with the opposite, but boy did I take to warm New Year's Eves like a duck to water when I got then chance to experience Southern hemisphere holidays. Whatever the weather, or the celebration, enjoy the final days of the year, everyone!
posted by EvaDestruction at 9:03 PM on December 24, 2013 [5 favorites]


Merry Christmas to all from an unseasonably mild Pacific North West ...

This is a Youtube mistake from about three hours ago which has since become a much loved holiday favorite:

Silent Nights ... featuring Robert Fripp, Mahalia Jackson, various choirs + orchestras.
posted by philip-random at 9:05 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


I haven't been able to muster up much Christmas spirit over the past couple of years, plus my apartment is teeny-tiny, so no tree for me... this year I decorated a bookcase. Maybe next year there'll be a tree. Or at least a wood item that's not quite so processed.

Oh, and cecic, pizza and Castle doesn't sound pathetic at all... I'm having pizza and watching Community reruns. Yay, loner holiday times!
posted by palomar at 9:08 PM on December 24, 2013 [10 favorites]


My Impatient Family had our traditional tamale Christmas Eve dinner this evening, and opened presents around 5. Tomorrow, I attempt to do nothing, which can actually be difficult. On Thursday, I'm outta here for a week, and just watched Flight (!) in preparation for boarding early, day-after-tomorrow. (note: I do not actually recommend watching Flight in any real proximity to air travel time - Thanks, Obama Netflix!) Let's hope I emerge from my first skiing trip ever with both my legs intact.

Also, my Spanish Oak tree waves Happy Winter! to you all.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:14 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


Happy EOY funtime to everyone! I got an automatic yogurt maker, which is just badass.
posted by planetesimal at 9:16 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


Thank you Palomar! So nice to know I'm not alone in my chosen Christmas Eve celebratory activities. Is it pathetic that I kind of love all the Michael Bolton Honda ads where he sings Christmas songs? I'm going to miss those. Lordy, I need something to do that doesn't involve a tv. Or Michael Bolton.
posted by cecic at 9:16 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


Our gigantic tree. (It looked a lot smaller when we were cutting it down at the tree farm.)

I am wrapping presents & watching Get Smart episodes. Happy Christmas to you all!
posted by belladonna at 9:23 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


Cecic, I definitely ate tomato pie and watched Castle as well, so it's probably what all the cool kids are doing! Merry Christmas to all, and don't forget your Christmas tree pickles*.


*the most important of Christmas traditions obviously
posted by jetlagaddict at 9:29 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


Instead, I will show you the yule log I lugged home on the train today.

The feats of strength have already begun!
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:36 PM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


Merry Christmas, Happy Yule, Happy (belated) Solstice, etc. I am drunk and Metafilter-ing which is probably a bad combo, but let me tell you, this site has been my favorite place on the internet by far in 2013. Have a great holiday, everyone. And don't drink cider and Bailey's on the same night. i'm already learning my lesson.
posted by skycrashesdown at 9:45 PM on December 24, 2013 [10 favorites]


Our NYC tree. There may or may not be cats in this picture. Hard to tell.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:48 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


i went downstars to give my super his crismus bonus and that was lik an hour agho now im drunk heop
posted by elizardbits at 10:02 PM on December 24, 2013 [15 favorites]


i played with litle kids wat is heppen
posted by elizardbits at 10:03 PM on December 24, 2013 [11 favorites]


WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ELIZARDBITS
posted by The Whelk at 10:09 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


Apparently one of my neighbors acquired a tree that was too tall, because there's a three-foot sawed-off bottom of a Christmas tree out on the sidewalk.

I thought about bringing it in and decorating it, but then my dog peed on it and I decided not to. Also, I noticed I haven't bothered to put away the hannukiah from Thanksgivukkuh, so that will have to tide me over for festive decoration this year.

Happy all holidays to all celebrants!
posted by trip and a half at 10:22 PM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


i played with litle kids wat is heppen

That's how it always starts. Just be calm and accepting.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 10:28 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


no i hate them it is just that they wnted to pet the old fat grumpy cat i was holding

but like

i didnt hiss at them menacingly, which i attribute to the deliteful combo of benzos n rumm punch what came out of a bukkit
posted by elizardbits at 10:31 PM on December 24, 2013 [14 favorites]


and also cat
posted by elizardbits at 10:31 PM on December 24, 2013 [10 favorites]


It's probably not a cat.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 10:32 PM on December 24, 2013 [12 favorites]


I'm planning on making our We are staying underground in France meal to be a bit of choames cheese on bread and dried apricots dipped in honey, rolled in sesame seeds, a crises salad of proiscutto and roast chestnuts with a fruity vinaigrette and a main course of duck tournedos in chunky fig sauce. Then brandy and presents opening.

This is my design.
posted by The Whelk at 10:35 PM on December 24, 2013 [9 favorites]


I have some bad news to report. My mother has a large collection of santons that she sets up every year on the mantel. When we were kids my brother and I began sneaking things into the nativity scene. Action figures, or paper cutouts of celebrities, and many other things. The goal was to make it subtle enough that they would make it to Christmas before she noticed. When she did notice bad things happened to those toys. One year we woke to a bowl of smashed up Matchbox cars; one year it was a melted puck of plastic that used to be a set of cowboys and Indians. We never speak of it, and she never acknowledges it besides destroying the toys or leaving them up until she takes the santons down after New Year's.

The bad news I mentioned? This year my brother and I hid a squad of green plastic army men in the pine branches she uses as a backdrop for the scene. We were confident they would make it to Christmas, but I just got up to get a drink and outside my room was a pile of green army men bodies adjacent to a little pile of green army men heads.

Merry Christmas mefites!
posted by edeezy at 10:35 PM on December 24, 2013 [66 favorites]


r u suggesting it was a farty midget in a cat outfit because i think that is incorrect
posted by elizardbits at 10:36 PM on December 24, 2013 [13 favorites]


I'm just going to pretend that there is no significance to large branches falling on my roof three years in a row on xmas eve while other people have things disguised as cats in their laps. Just throw it out the window.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 10:43 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


edeezy, that is the best Christmas tradition I've ever heard.

Best wishes to all and to all a good night!
posted by faineant at 11:37 PM on December 24, 2013 [7 favorites]


We had lots of pies and lots of wine, and now we're enjoying the fancy new mattress that we got each other for xmas. The cats like the new mattress, too.

Happy holidays from rtha and me.
posted by gingerbeer at 11:46 PM on December 24, 2013 [12 favorites]


It's 6.45(ish)pm on Christmas Day here in Oz, and we've had a lovely day with just a few family, too much food, too much champagne, and far too much of my first ever homemade mango cheesecake which was pronounced a success.

And to top off a great day, it is absolutely PISSING down rain and has been all afternoon. It's been hot and dry for so long, summer has been brutal so far... and now my farmer friends will be ecstatic. One of them had a truck booked for Friday to cart in water for their stock, and now their dams will be filling/full, and they can keep that few thousand bucks in their pocket.

May you all have as wonderful a day as I've had. Cheers!
posted by malibustacey9999 at 11:49 PM on December 24, 2013 [10 favorites]


The sprouts were delicious and I may have had a little too much red wine from the uncle's excellent cellar.

This episode of Bottom reminds me what Christmas is all about.
posted by arcticseal at 11:53 PM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


It just turned Christmas in California! God bless us, every one. It's my daughter's first Christmas and we bought her so much stuff that we decided to save a bunch of it for her birthday.
posted by town of cats at 12:00 AM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


Merry Christmas, Y'all!
posted by ob1quixote at 12:24 AM on December 25, 2013 [9 favorites]




Constructions for bonfires upriver. Every Christmas Eve families in St. James Parish light bonfires they've carefully built over several weeks meant to light the way for Papa Noel. My year in Louisiana, we took a picnic hamper and enjoyed our Christmas Eve dinner while watching the bonfires.
posted by Anitanola at 1:59 AM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


It's noonish on xmas day here in the Greece, and I slept in 'til 11. wow so bed much zzzzzzzs. Also I just want to say that Wes Anderson could make a whole film from edeezy's comment. ♥
posted by taz (staff) at 2:07 AM on December 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


Anitanola: "Constructions for bonfires upriver. Every Christmas Eve families in St. James Parish light bonfires they've carefully built over several weeks meant to light the way for Papa Noel. My year in Louisiana, we took a picnic hamper and enjoyed our Christmas Eve dinner while watching the bonfires."

Those are some pretty serious and well crafted structures. The house and the sailing ship, wow! Wish we had that tradition here in NY. I think they do have it in Detroit on Halloween.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 2:23 AM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ELIZARDBITS

I'm pretty sure, if you are drunk enough, you could mistake children for pug puppies, so that is one explanation.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:44 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


@ edeezy I'm pretty sure I love your mother. Does she give lessons?
posted by Anitanola at 3:03 AM on December 25, 2013 [4 favorites]




From a 2012 FPP, something cute for Christmas Day.
posted by Wordshore at 4:03 AM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


The sky is a sort of apricot color over the Hudson. The cats and husband are still asleep. To those who celebrate it, Merry Christmas.
posted by sciencegeek at 4:18 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


Happy Crassmess peoples, from the arse end of a pretty nice (and unusually mild) xmas day. My niece Elizabeth has jumped well above her siblings in the peacay rating system, having bested all with a fabulous present choice from the British Museum catalogue: 'Curious Beasts: Animal Prints from the British Museum' 2013, by Alison E Wright [Amazon].
posted by peacay at 4:18 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


Wishing everyone a peaceful, happy and appropriately over thought day and season.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:23 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


i feel a bit ungrateful, because i appreciate the hospitality, but i am staying at my friends house and he has the two worst couches for sleeping on, one has a huge bar in the middle, and one is half again too small. also, because of the ice storm, no eggnog. but, last nights church service was moving, and the sky is lovely, and soon a small child will come down the stairs with full wonder, and lifes good. thanks for everyone.
posted by PinkMoose at 5:14 AM on December 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it! Also, a belated Festivus!

Last night I made a hanger steak with kale and Heinz baked beans and some wine as a kind of belated Festivus meal. Tonight I'm going to a Chinese buffet place in NJ (the type that's $12 a person) which is called Fun Buffet-- with a name like that I'm sure to have a good time! Then I'm coming back to NYC to watch Anchorman 2. Until then, though, I'll just lie around here, eat macarons and watch The Muppet Show.

Again, happy holidays!
posted by bookwibble at 5:25 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


I'm spending Christmas trying to inject as many extraneous syllables as possible into "Mele Kalikimaka". I've gotten as far as "Mekelele Kakilimikalamakala". (What a wonderful phrase.) Later on: gourmetten, because Dutch.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 5:39 AM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


Barring a Christmas Miracle, the buns I was planning on for this morning are going to be small, sad, dense affairs because they didn't rise overnight like they were supposed to. But the coffee is hot and I have leftover pumpkin muffins from boredom baking a few days ago, so not all is lost.
posted by coppermoss at 5:46 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


MERRY CHRISTMAS I GOT A SLOTH
posted by deezil at 5:54 AM on December 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


The celerity with which young people open presents is something to behold.
posted by Wordshore at 5:56 AM on December 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


Cooppermoss got sad buns and cannot lie...
posted by The Whelk at 6:05 AM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


mmmm...celerity...
posted by MoonOrb at 6:07 AM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


Hot celerity milk
posted by The Whelk at 6:08 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


Good morning and Merry Christmas!

It's 9 am and there are five presents under my tree that far-flung relatives have sent me which I saved to open today, and....I haven't had any impulse to open them yet because I'm having too much fun trying to figure out how to roast my duck. (Leaning towards seasoning it with tamari and honey, because then I can use the leftovers in Asian dishes like I was thinking.)

Breakfast will be cheese grits with bacon and egg, and this fruit salad I made using a cookbook my Irish friend sent me as a Christmas gift ten years ago (it's nothing but pink grapefruit and pomegranate). I also have doled out a cookie platter for myself in advance - I did the Mefi cookie swap this year, but my workplace also had a cookie swap and I am OVERRUN WITH COOKIES and am trying to contain myself. There's also chocolate orange peel left over from some gift baskets I made up for relatives. There's also some apple cider I can mull for something hot to drink later, and some spiced tea I can also brew up, and I spiked my coffee with a cinnamon stick today. I even realized last night that I had two leftover tourtiere hand pies in my freezer from when I was on a hand-pie making kick this fall; I had one last night for Christmas Eve late supper, just like my grandmother from New Brunswick may have done when she was little, and I've got another in the freezer still in case I'm actually still hungry late tonight.

And I fully intend not to leave the house today, but to rather loll and stuff myself and watch DOCTOR WHO and maybe accept calls from relatives. ....Which means I probably should open those presents at some point....
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:21 AM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


Be it ever so humble .... Sitting around eating panettone for Christmas breakfast (husband's family tradition), listening to Harry Belafonte (my family tradition) - here's one song from youtube. Also, giving the squirrels and our flock of 5 crows some peanuts in the shell as a treat by tossing them out the apartment window (our neighbors already think we are eccentric anyway).

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all.
posted by gudrun at 6:21 AM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


Empress! A slow dry roast will fill your apartment with delicious roast duck smells and I find a mixture of soy sauce and honey put on 45 min before finishing the roast adds wonderful moisture and flavor ( and goes well with Asian dishes!)
posted by The Whelk at 6:24 AM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


oh and i forgot that book i have with nothing but exotic hot chocolate recipes which i can also dip into today yay
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:25 AM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Opal Foxx will now present my new favorite Christmas song:

Somebody's House Always Burns At Christmas




gone but not forgotten
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:25 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


A slow dry roast will fill your apartment with delicious roast duck smells and I find a mixture of soy sauce and honey put on 45 min before finishing the roast adds wonderful moisture and flavor ( and goes well with Asian dishes!)

Yep, I was looking at tamari and soy sauce, and Martha Stewart's approach to a slow roast - but you think the sauce going on towards the end, rather than right at the start would be better?

Also, if you're roasting potatoes in the same pan - add during the last hour, or when? And if you don't have a roasting rack, can you pile up chopsticks in the pan as a stopgap?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:26 AM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


I like to put it on at the end cause I follow the idea that you do NOTHING to duck beforehand besides removing the giblets and putting on a rack. You poke the skin in the fatty areas with a fork and then let it sit at llow heat and let all the fat drip out and slow cook the thing. After you've turned it twice, so it's back to being breast up, you glaze it with the honey mixture before cranking the heat up to crisp it briefly.

Granted if you've got potatoes in there, I have no idea hiw that would work cause the honey/soya glaze makes it slightly sticky and sweet, maybe not the best idea for potatoes.

I have successfully made racks out of nearly anything but ...before you put wood in the oven, speak it in ice water for a half hour before hand.


Trust me.
posted by The Whelk at 6:31 AM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


Hmmm. I just reviewed a couple of bloggers that follow Martha's technique, and they do indeed go with Nothing On Until The Last Minute. But they also recommend straining some of the excess fat out over the course of 3 hours of roasting, so - since I'm gonna save that anyway - I'll use some to roast the potatoes in a second pan. Done!

I also just found a recipe in one of my books for sauteed radishes as a side dish, and I have a bunch of radishes I've been trying to figure out what to do with anyway - and I bet the peppery taste will play off the richness of the duck nicely.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:34 AM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


IT CRISMUS!
posted by klangklangston at 6:40 AM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


Buns are risen. Critmit is saved.
posted by coppermoss at 6:43 AM on December 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


Ooh radishes woud be great.

Klang it's pronounced

CRISMUS DEMON AAAAAH
posted by The Whelk at 6:44 AM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


We've put out treats for all the animals outside (even those blasted squirrels!) and appeased the nisse, unwrapped our gifts (this year's theme: pens!), and are gearing up to go over the river and through the woods to visit my grandmother. Hope everyone has a happy day!
posted by julen at 6:57 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


I'm spending the day making gyoza and potstickers. (Are they the same thing? I'm making some Chinese dumplings and some Japanese dumplings and some Korean dumplings and some Tibetan dumplings. Lots of dumplings!) I've moved to the hinterlands, where there aren't any really great Chinese restaurants, so I figure it's time to adapt.

My friends here seem a little weirded out that I'm not doing anything for Christmas, and they kept inviting me to celebrations that didn't sound like much fun at all. It was like "you should come to my house for Christmas. My parents are coming!" And I'm thinking "wait, haven't you told me that your mom drinks too much and insults everyone every Christmas and your dad likes to spout talking points that he got from Fox News? Why would I want to be there when I could be making dumplings?" So dumplings it is. If the dumpling-making goes well, next year I might have a Christmas night dumpling party for all the people who need to unwind from their actual Christmas celebrations.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:19 AM on December 25, 2013 [15 favorites]


You guys: The Whitefish Fairy dropped by yesterday evening! (I can't get whitefish here for love or money -- but a friend picked some up on her visit to the city and LO, THERE IS GOODNESS.) So it's bagels for Christmas!

May the spirit of the season be good to you.
posted by MonkeyToes at 7:21 AM on December 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


Merry holidayness everyone! I told my husband all I wanted for Christmas was to have my laptop fixed. He looked into it and got me an iPad Air instead! So Merry freaking Christmas to me!

Our son is heavy into music and was given the orchestral score to Sebelius 1 and 2 and promptly went to the piano to work out Sebelius 2. My Christmas is perfect right about now.

As my mother-in-law is currently on her way to my house, this is about as good as my day is going to get and I will revel in it.
posted by cooker girl at 8:26 AM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


I FINALLY OPENED MY PRESENTS AND ONE OF THEM WAS A FLEECE THROW THAT LOOKS LIKE THE DOOR OF THE TARDIS YAY
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:27 AM on December 25, 2013 [15 favorites]


Although, that same aunt also sent me the book she meant to give me last year - a guide to preserving foraged foods. Which is awesome, but it will take me a while to work up the courage to brew my own fish sauce and cure my own lamb prosciutto in an apartment.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:30 AM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


I don't have any great pictures of trees or cats or presents or whatnot. So, as it's 2013, here's a selfie, the current state of the fridge, and some wedding guests in the park.

Oh and from two evenings ago, a few pictures and video clips from a ukelele band performance. Or just skip to the final video clip, which is a bit of Fairytale of New York, sung by several hundred drunk and happy people crammed into a marquee underneath a rainstorm. Epic evening.
posted by Wordshore at 8:33 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


Oh my, EmpressCallipygos! Can you please please find out where your gift giver obtained that throw? My daughter is Dr. Who crazy and I would love to get her that for her birthday!
posted by cooker girl at 8:49 AM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


Think Geek appears to have Tardis throw blankets.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:54 AM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


Yep, either thinkgeek or the BBC America web site shop would have it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:11 AM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


It's Friendsmas! In a few hours I'll be cramming 20 of my amazing friends into my house to share food and booze and good times. Yay!

Greyhound, presents, and tree
Christmas snoot, for the 0.5 seconds he before he shook off the antlers
Polish Christmas cookies
Taste test of the pierogi
posted by misskaz at 9:17 AM on December 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


The Christmas sunrise in Santa Monica. Merry Christmas to everyone, and a Happy Chrimbus to one of you.

(I don't have a tree, but here is this year's Pez menorah!)
posted by Room 641-A at 9:25 AM on December 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


I think we've achieved peak Christmas: the dog just puked up the turkey neck and then ate it again.
posted by taz (staff) at 9:38 AM on December 25, 2013 [28 favorites]


I lurk/read much more than I write, but I love the hell out of this community and want to wish you all the happiest of holiday seasons.

I'm spending my Christmas making dilly stew with rosemary dumplings and knitting tiny, one-armed sweaters (second arm coming soon) while the best puppy in the world snoozes on her cozy new bed. Not too bad at all...
posted by cellar door at 9:47 AM on December 25, 2013 [13 favorites]


my head hurts
posted by elizardbits at 9:50 AM on December 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


I think we've achieved peak Christmas: the dog just puked up the turkey neck and then ate it again.

It's like the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future all rolled up into one!
posted by MonkeyToes at 9:54 AM on December 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


my head hurts

Bad news, you touched a baby last night so that's probably why.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 9:56 AM on December 25, 2013 [14 favorites]


French christmasness
posted by The Whelk at 9:58 AM on December 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


My wife's family don't celebrate Christmas, so there's none of the stress associated with enforced jollity here. I managed to call my folks to wish them a Merry Christmas with only one bout of tears from my Mum and didn't argue with my sister (score!). After an enormous Christmas Eve dinner at her uncle's, including silly sweaters and much wine, we're off to the pictures in an hour to see Canoe Reeves do fun sword stuff.
posted by arcticseal at 10:01 AM on December 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


Bad news, you touched a baby last night so that's probably why.

Now the babies have your scent and will soon begin to mass at all open doors and windows.
posted by The Whelk at 10:03 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


( so far the vrbo is going a little awkwardly cause were both kitchen tryants and this thing is way smaller and less equipped than even a typical NYC galley kitchen and it's like a vacation away from well-organized layouts and decent equipment.)
posted by The Whelk at 10:08 AM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


also i think i may have mashed my face onto the cat because my eyes are sticky with itch goo

actually lbr i know i mashed my face onto the cat
posted by elizardbits at 10:23 AM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


You will be attacked by horrible cat/baby hybrids.
posted by The Whelk at 10:26 AM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


Let God sort them out.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 10:27 AM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


horrible cat/baby hybrids.
Environmentally friendly whilst being terrifying and huggable.
posted by arcticseal at 10:34 AM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


Have you tried diapering one of those things?
posted by Mr. Yuck at 10:40 AM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


It has only been 90 minutes and the apartment smells like roasting duck all the way into the bedrooms. While it was roasting for the first hour I rendered the fat from the excess skin - and for lunch I just had cookies and duck skin cracklings. And I just found a recipe for blackberry fool with white chocolate that will be dessert.

The TARDIS is quite warm.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:00 AM on December 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


So, child #1 turns out to be highly adept with the nerf-bow. Could she be... the chosen one?
posted by Artw at 11:10 AM on December 25, 2013 [16 favorites]


Mrs. Singing Fish and I have invented a new holiday tradition, for use only in situations of extreme laziness: Open one present each, watch a Christmas movie/special/episode, repeat until you run out of presents or hours of Christmas. Die Hard's next!
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:19 AM on December 25, 2013 [16 favorites]


Here is an accidental selfie I took while trying to figure out my xmas present (A Canon Elph). Yay presents! How does this thing work?
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:42 AM on December 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


Festive Appa, and the Xmas Lobster.
posted by St. Sorryass at 12:11 PM on December 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


The dog doesn't understand the burrow bed. The cats, however...
posted by cooker girl at 12:20 PM on December 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


Is that everybody favorited? Still going?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 12:51 PM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


I fell asleep on the sofa last night. Santa didn't come, but I had sleeping kitties next to me so all was good.
posted by mightshould at 12:57 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


"Hot celerity milk"

how u milk celerity
posted by klangklangston at 1:11 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


You gotta grab it by the phloems, son.
posted by planetesimal at 1:16 PM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


Merry Christmas to everybody.

Just made eggnog. Most of the 500 (or so) Christmas cookies are still around, so is half the cheesecake, and the vast majority of the nut cake and the fruit cake. It was left-over turkey for lunch today.

The tree looks beautiful. It's mostly red and gold this year. If I can get a picture of it, I'll post one later.

Just wanted to wish the best and offer season's greetings to all the MeFites out there.
posted by sardonyx at 1:18 PM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


Me and Holyrood at my folks' place.
posted by klangklangston at 1:25 PM on December 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


how u milk celerity

that fast

…and a happy Christmas y'all
posted by Namlit at 1:26 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


For your holiday listening pleasure, the James Brown Funky Christmas Collection.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 1:40 PM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


More holiday listening:

Uploaded this a time ago. It's a C.P.E. Bach harpsichord concerto (mvt. 2 and 3), recorded in a funny little late 18th-c. country house outside Göteborg (Gunnebo slott); yours truly playing the harpsichord despite being quite nervous (public live concert and cameras and all that).

More happy Christmas...
posted by Namlit at 1:53 PM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


Dinner was delicious and fig filled and I gave a grumpy cat doll and some very fine men's scarves ( thank you AskMe) and I got some traveling gear and one serious Ahahahaha that is solid silver thing. Marriage anniversary thing.

Yay for things!
posted by The Whelk at 1:53 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


I dried out my duck!

There must be something wonky about my oven, because I think it was just a much higher temp than I'd set it at and it was just roasting too long at a higher temperature.

But I ate some anyway and salvaged the meat I could and have started a duck stock with the carcass, and I did also get two cups of duck fat, and now I have a first attempt at roast duck that I can improve upon for next time. And that's good.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:47 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


It's okay the bbc is showing the Paul McCann mini episode on TV right now
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:05 PM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


I had a great Christmas, first yesterday with my paternal grandparents, with whom, after a big dinner, my brother and I sat and watched the old Scrooge for the first time; and then today with my maternal grandparents, who, after serving everybody a big dinner, brought out an old picture album which revealed that one of my mother's cousins, a sister to her, is identifiable even as a little kid. In both houses, people tended to doze off: My dad's brother at my paternal grandparents', and at my maternal grandparents', my stepfather.

It's been a great couple of days, and I hope everyone else has enjoyed themselves as much as I have.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:12 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


Honestly getting duck fat is half the reason you cook duck so if you got that, you win.

My duck was tough but not terrible but my dried fig and onion and wine relish was a REVELATION. I have to make this more often. Seriously it took no effort and it's shockingly amazing.
posted by The Whelk at 3:28 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


I got a very scientific chocolate / confectionary cookbook and a garbage disposal to be installed in the next 10 days. It is hard to say which one I'm more excited about, but there's a recipe for "Thai sticks" in the cookbook that calls for ganache flavored with lemongrass, ginger, coconut, and lime, to be enrobed with chili-infused chocolate, which I am pretty fucking interested in.
posted by KathrynT at 3:41 PM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


Little light thief had present overdose and freaked out this morning. I didn't realize that was even possible. Oh, the troubles with being the first grandkid and nephew.

Now we're watching a ton of musical videos on YouTube. Anyone know some good dump truck or school bus videos with songs? We're done with this one, which was good for a while, and lead us to this amazing synth-pop ode to bulldozers.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:54 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


I moved into my new condo on Christmas eve, after much stress and chaos. Yay! No Christmas decor here, just partially-unpacked boxes, half-empty bottles of Scotch, and an enormous feeling of relief.

KathrynT, what is the title of your cookbook? I may have need of such a thing.
posted by bethnull at 4:00 PM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


My girlfriend just got a tagine and this thread has convinced me that we must cook duck in it forthwith. Tonight, though, is frozen pizza and Baldur's Gate 2 in my pajamas.
posted by invitapriore at 4:32 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


I'm eating dinner rolls for dinner and playing Skyrim but now I feel like I should also acquire a duck.

Metafilter 2014: A duck in every pot
posted by pemberkins at 4:35 PM on December 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


It seems like Santa brought me a cold, so I have canceled the family dinner with my sister and her partner, and will instead drink tea and ply the cats with catnip.

Maybe I should send rtha out for a duck, instead.
posted by gingerbeer at 4:54 PM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


My parents played Cards Against Humanity for the first time today; uncle and cousins brought it along when they came over for dinner. Wasn't sure what they were going to think of it, but it turns out that my mom, particularly, has a surprisingly filthy mind. My mom and uncle laughing their asses off may have been the best present. Tomorrow I get to play again with one aunt who will love it and another who will be properly horrified. Can't wait.
posted by ActionPopulated at 4:56 PM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


I'm so full of scallion pancakes that I kind of want to die and I didn't even eat any tea-smoked duck. But I regret nothing.
posted by jetlagaddict at 4:56 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


I can't even begin to think about food*, but here is Roswell playing with the Christmas mousie.


* Except goddang but duck sounds good
posted by rtha at 4:59 PM on December 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


I don't have much to add, but I do have this -- when my daughter was 3, her favorite joke was:

"What's a duck's favorite food?"


wait for it…


"Cheese and quackers!"




*ducks*
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:06 PM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


Yay, I love pictures of trees! Here are a couple of pictures of our wonderful $10 tree, cheapest tree ever and Frosty, who shines on bravely, 15 years and counting. Turns out it pays to wait until 6 days before Christmas, or maybe those trees fell off a truck and into a grotty lot on Leicester Highway across from the GO grocery. The guy said "What kind of tree do you want?" And I was like, "The $10 kind!" and he said, "No, do you want a big one or a full one or what?" and I said, "I don't care. If it's $10, I'll make it work."

And then last night I made lobster tails and salmon and mushroom risotto and salad for my son and his girlfriend and my daughter and her best friend, which was lovely, with much wine. Then today I made cranberry cake and vegetarian breakfast casserole and spinach quiche and biscuits and grits and the kids made mimosas with fresh squeezed orange juice and my brother and my auntie arrived with presents and my auntie told us stories about pretending to be Nancy Drew with my mom when they were little. The food was great and we all got socks, which is what we wanted and do you know what? I got mens' pajamas and it turns out that mens' pajama pants have POCKETS and I am never going back to womens pajamas again, not ever. And there is still wine. Merry Christmas!
posted by mygothlaundry at 5:14 PM on December 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


MetaFilter: Ho-Ho-Ho!
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:23 PM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


I'm seeing duck all over the internet this year (goose too.) what's the deal? Cheap duck?
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:43 PM on December 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


I like duck before everyone got on the duck bandwagon or whatever
posted by rtha at 5:50 PM on December 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Fall of the House of Duck.
posted by Artw at 5:50 PM on December 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Maybe because it's good for small parties? Even a small turkey or ham would be around a long time after in a single person household.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:12 PM on December 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Last night was a Nochebuena* and tonight was Honey-baked Ham. We've eaten nearly two entire hog legs here.

Merry Christmas, y'all!

* - Cuban Christmas Eve: roasted pork marinated in mojo criollo, black beans and rice, oven-roasted yucca and salad. No plantains this time around, but next year for sure. Our friends brought dessert. Nobody left hungry.
posted by jquinby at 6:45 PM on December 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


Merry Christmas everyone! Yay christmas!
posted by xarnop at 7:24 PM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


Merry Christmas fuckers!

We got drunk and played the year's pop tunes at the piano last night, so if you heard a loud bawdy cover of wrecking ball in portland at 2 this morning, I'm sorry.

Much love to all.
posted by Lutoslawski at 7:37 PM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


Our goose was well and truly cooked. (So much goose fat carefully rendered, siphoned and chilling that it will be shared with selected foodie fiends among our friends). An addition to the menu this year, courtesy my son's recent visit to Boston, was crawfish Newburg popovers for starters--we don't have lobster down here but we do have some wicked good crawfish. I feel as full and happy as Tiny Tim Cratchett.

Namlit, we played your Bach video at least thrice. We loved it.

edeezy, I shared your story of your mother's santons and her resolution of your impious intrusions. That is a great story; thanks for sharing it with us.

2013: Best Christmas I have had in a long time. Thank you Secret Quonsar and thank you to all of MetaFilter!
posted by Anitanola at 7:48 PM on December 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


[M]y dried fig and onion and wine relish was a REVELATION. I have to make this more often. Seriously it took no effort and it's shockingly amazing.

Whelk, how do you post this and NOT link/include the recipe?!

We had a perfectly nice small low-key Christmas at my sister-in-law's, and get to have raucous family Christmas with my relatives (lo, they are legion) on Saturday. Our gift exchange theme this year is countries, and I have China. Still working out the details.
posted by booksherpa at 8:29 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


Merry Christmas, everyone. I feel privileged and fortunate indeed to have enjoyed a peaceful and happy Christmas with Lipstick Thespian, my folks and friends far and wide, brought into the living room by the magic of the internet. Ready for another trip around the sun and hoping you have a great celebration of whatever kind, and a happy start to 2014.
posted by Miko at 8:30 PM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


I just wanted to thank everyone for sharing a little bit of their Christmas - it's been fun and fascinating to see your trees and your critters and to hear about your meals and your fun times.

I also want to blame you for making me want duck & pierogis.
posted by julen at 8:37 PM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


Despite being 'veganish', I make eggs benedict every year for Christmas. This year was no different, except I made way too much hollandaise sauce.

Which turned out fine, as I came into the kitchen after dinner and found everyone eating hollandaise off water crackers.
posted by dotgirl at 8:45 PM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


I ate too much turkey and pumpkin pie and now I imagine the inside of my stomach looks like this.
posted by blueberry at 8:53 PM on December 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


> I made way too much hollandaise sauce.

Please, there is no such thing as too much hollandaise sauce!
posted by Anitanola at 9:02 PM on December 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


I contacted the hell out of Monkeytoes afore amembring my bio-sister is "Monkey-otheranatomy" or so she says. Sry, Monkeytoes.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:06 PM on December 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


"I like duck before everyone got on the duck bandwagon or whatever"

rapey lil shits tho
posted by klangklangston at 9:26 PM on December 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Just home from dinner at my mother's, and having quiet cat on lap time. All the presents I chose this year went down very well, and there has been so much singing-- carolling, performing madrigals, the Christmas Eve service last night.

Wishing all the Mefites a wonderful and happy and healthy New Year.
posted by jokeefe at 10:02 PM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


KathrynT, what is the title of your cookbook? I may have need of such a thing.

It's called "Chocolates and Confections: Formula, Theory, and Technique for the Artisan Confectioner." I put it on my wish list because my daughter can have all the glucose she wants but only quite limited sucrose, and when I asked her what she wanted for Christmas she said "to be able to eat candy again," and there is NOT VERY MUCH info on candy making with glucose out there or even like how glucose behaves differently than sucrose does under various conditions, and this book seemed like it at least addressed some of those issues. My husband got it for me because he fucking LOVES chocolate and thought that this could very well work out in his favor.
posted by KathrynT at 10:22 PM on December 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


That's why it's okay to eat them klang.

[M]y dried fig and onion and wine relish was a REVELATION. I have to make this more often. Seriously it took no effort and it's shockingly amazing.

Whelk, how do you post this and NOT link/include the recipe?!


DRIED FIG RELISH OR JAM OR CHUTNEY OR WHATEVER:

Cut up a bunch of dried figs into various chunks and sizes? How many? I dunno, a lot, like one big heaping handful, use your judgement.

Cut up a bunch of green onions or shallots or red onion. Whatever, just dice them fine, about as much as the figs.

Heat some fat in a frying pan, butter, olive oil, RENDERED DUCK FAT, just use enough to get a thin coating on the pan. Heat til it's cooking nicely, don't burn it, you know what I mean

Put in your onion of choice, stir it around til translucent, about five minutes , sprinkle on some salt.

Add yer figs, stir them around a bit, let 'em cook for a few minutes til they get soft.

Deglaze the pan with some red wine. Stir and scrap the figs and onion off the pan if needed. Stir, add in enough water or stock to cover the figs. Reduce heat to simmer, let it party like that for about 20 min or until the figs are mushably soft.

If you want it sweeter, add some honey, like a teaspoon. Also a teaspoon of lemon juice. You could also add something fiery at this point if you're that kind of risk taking extremist.

Increase heat for a final stir and reduction. Thicken it if you like using any thickening agent or reduce it further until you get a chunky jam-like texture. Serve as a side or ontop of your facile meat or as a delicious spread or sandwhich filling.

If you want it really smooth you can put it in a food processor but if you ask me you're just making work for yourself and life is hard enough.

Sample serving: Oil and mustard glazed flank steak topped with fig chutney served with arugula, pine nut, and Parmesan salad. Suggestised first course, raw radish rounds with herb butter.
posted by The Whelk at 10:44 PM on December 25, 2013 [21 favorites]


Final meat.

I'm not sure what a facile dinner would be.
posted by The Whelk at 10:51 PM on December 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Hotdogs, I'm pretty sure. Hotdogs are the most facile of meats.
posted by taz (staff) at 10:55 PM on December 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


Ho Ho Ho-ist
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:33 PM on December 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Sooo…We had some sort of a new thing here; I'm at home with my elderly parents and my kids had to leave before food, so I had no time or rest to stand in the kitchen full time to monitor a large bird à la goose (the normal thing for us)…

I cooked goose breast fillets instead. So much nonsense about goose breast fillets can be found on the internet, but that doesn't take away that I had zero experience with them…I think the best advice I found was, treat them like red meat (someone writes, treat it like beef, but I like my beef a tad rarer. Like lamb, maybe.)

I ended up improvising: before breakfast, I marinated the goose breasts in red wine/water/salt/thyme. Some time halfway the morning I started a pan with white cabbage in white wine (sauté a sliced onion in too much butter, add shredded cabbage and a grand dash of dry white wine, salt, ground pepper, a teaspoon caraway seeds and some ground allspice. Later, check for sourness, add some good white wine vinegar to adjust, and pour in a healthy dose of goose fat. Just slow-cook until needed)
Around noon, I dabbed the goose breasts dry, medium-hotly-fried them 6 minuted on each side in butter, starting with the skin-side down, and then they went into the pre-heated oven on medium high for about 40 minutes covered with aluminum foil.
While they cooked I made a sauce with the residue on the pan (after skimming off much, not most, of the fat, which partly went into the cabbage, see above), using sliced onion, white wine, a little more thyme and pepper, a tablespoon or so hacked walnuts (not sure about that ingredient, kinda nice taste but funny consistency) and a good dash of cream toward the end of reducing the wine. Slowly reduced until caramel-brown.
Goose breasts out of the oven - let them rest for at least 10 minutes - slice rather thinly and arrange nicely - pour sauce in decorative strands over the breast-slice-piles.

...wasn't bad for a First...
posted by Namlit at 1:27 AM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


I ended up with 2-1/2 quarts of duck stock and a pint of duck fat out of that experiment (and the duck fat looks GORGEOUS), and most of the time I only roast birds so I can make a stock out of the carcass anyway and have the means to throw together soups of the leftovers. So I'm still callin' it a win.

I have access to a car for the next two or three more days, and no roommate about; today is going to be a whole orgy of cleaning and weeding through Things and organizing, and as I go I'm going to ferry stuff down to the car - and then tomorrow is going to be an expedition to the Salvation Army with all the "I don't want this" stuff, followed by a pilgrimage to the huge Asian supermarket in Sunset Park to stock up on noodles and maybe a package of frozen dumplings and bok choi and lots of grapefruit. And then Saturday - well, my parents got me the big-ticket thing I hinted I wanted: a GPS thing I can take from one car to another (I don't own, I rent or borrow friends' cars), so I may go off on some kind of adventure. Whee!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:47 AM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


DRIED FIG RELISH OR JAM OR CHUTNEY OR WHATEVER

I'd buy your cookbook.
posted by pemberkins at 4:50 AM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


D'awwww - Wil Wheaton posted an account of his Christmas on his blog, but the post linked back to something he and Chris Hardwick did a couple years ago in which Chris gave him an absolutely adorable present.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:54 AM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


Merry Festivities, everyone! We're at my mum's this year and have no tree, because she now has two African grey parrots in the front room and disaster would ensue. There's tinsel up, though, and one of the parrots sings half a line of Jingle Bells at irregular intervals. Zarkonnen and I have had wonderful presents (he got me Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities!!), seen my brother get married in a very Christmassy hotel and eaten many, many mince pies. Now there are just a few days of catching up with the rest of my family and our friends here before our very cheap flight home, at 7 am on the 1st of January....

Hope everyone is having a good time and enjoying the lengthening days!
posted by daisyk at 5:30 AM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


I just thought I'd leave this here.
No house, no electricity, no internet, no fridge, no cooker but ''Bom Natal''.
Photo taken 24th by a passer by on a road leading out of the city.
There is another photo I can't find, same overpass, other direction with someone asleep on the sofa under a sprayed word ''Style''.
posted by adamvasco at 6:05 AM on December 26, 2013 [10 favorites]


Christmas was a very happy day in the plinth house. We weren't sure what to expect and were pleased that it was nice.

Here is the pre-showtime tree.

My son wrote to Santa and the letter was all pokemon. He insisted that he wanted a real, live pokemon. And a book on how to raise a pokemon since he didn't know how. And a pokemon game. We delivered it to Santa in late November. The wise Santa told him that he couldn't promise him everything on his list but that he would try. As a tradition, Mrs. Plinth and I have been writing letters from Santa to the kids to leave with their presents. In mine to my son, I reminded him of that interaction. He was an eternal optimist, hoping the next package contained the pokemon.

Still, they were both very happy.

My step-mom got my daughter a faux leopard skin hat. I bit my tongue very hard to make sure I didn't make any Edith Prickley comments.

My oldest brother sent us a yodeling pickle, which I don't understand, but became an object of hilarity and vengeance.
posted by plinth at 6:52 AM on December 26, 2013 [9 favorites]


plinth: "Christmas was a very happy day in the plinth house. We weren't sure what to expect and were pleased that it was nice...

My oldest brother sent us a yodeling pickle , which I don't understand, but became an object of hilarity and vengeance.
"

It looks like your children had a great Christmas! They seem to be enjoying themselves and playing well together.

When our kids were young, my brothers and I came up with a truce after a few gifts similar to the yodeling pickle. No toys with batteries. After spending a few years trying to outdo each other with loud (and annoying gifts) for the kids we awoke to our mutually assured destruction/nsanity and made the truce.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:48 AM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


Oh fuck, I gotta go to work.
posted by Artw at 7:49 AM on December 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


JohnnyGunn: No toys with batteries.

If my brother had kids we might be able to reach a detente. My dad, on the other hand, is wreaking vengeance by sending the kids loud toys every birthday/Christmas. This Christmas, while I was on the phone with Dad, my son was playing with sound-playing drumsticks. I could barely hear my dad and then my son managed to break one. While I was on the phone, my side on the conversation was like this:

plinth: Yeah, dad, that was awesome - the kids lov--NO - hand it to me.
plinth: That sound ni-I will take care of it.
plinth: No, dad - he broke one of the drumsticks.
plinth: No, that's OK - I think I know what happened. Yeah. OK - here you go.
plinth: It's fine. I just fixed it.
plinth: Why did I just fix it?
posted by plinth at 7:55 AM on December 26, 2013 [7 favorites]


My oldest brother sent us a yodeling pickle , which I don't understand, but became an object of hilarity and vengeance.

My big family holiday was Thanksgiving this year, and we even had loud gifts courtesy of my niece and nephew's babysitter giving them some loud toys. By thanksgiving afternoon the adults were hiding them on the kids. But then when it was late and my brother was asleep on the couch and my s-I-l and I were cleaning up, we finally woke him up by WEAPONIZING the toys ("get in here and help or I'm getting the fire truck").
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:56 AM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


Oh fuck, I gotta go to work.

I know, right?

We all split up the mod shifts yesterday and it went really well. Holidaytime here was watching Withnail and I and hanging out with friends and family and eating chili my sister made and eating Too Many Snacks by the woodstove. Really one of the better Christmases in recent memory.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:00 AM on December 26, 2013 [11 favorites]


"Who says it's a Christmas tree?"
"I do. I invented it on Christmas, and it looks like a tree."
posted by griphus at 8:05 AM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


In our family's homes, batteries tragically DO NOT WORK DURING DINNER.

This was a joyfully successful lie until a four-year-old was gifted this year by his BASTARD uncle with a rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat tank which requires a fucking screwdriver to remove the batteries. Said uncle's name is going to be mud well into 2014.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:07 AM on December 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


All toys require a screwdriver to add batteries these days. This year we narrowly avoided a kid meltdown caused by faliure to find the screwdriver with a quick diversionary bribe.
posted by Artw at 8:14 AM on December 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


We're all still here? Excellent! In the Western Church, today is the Feast of Saint Stephen, mentioned in the song about Good King Wenceslaus, and also this hilarious song by Elvis Costello and The Chieftains.
posted by jquinby at 8:19 AM on December 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


Is there a button on the header that promises to print a roast duck? All of you had duck, and I did not, so I assume it's a conspiracy.

I'm sitting in my parents' kitchen, enjoying a slow moment after the excitement of an early arrival, the hodgepodge of gifts, and a day spent with half the extended family & my cousin's new baby. I'm so much happier to give a good gift than receive one; my mom's scrap wood serving board is currently serving Junior Mints, Ikea cookies, and other stocking flotsam, my dad is excited to roast his own coffee, and a Pittsburgh hillside offered me a lump of anthracite to hide in my sister's stocking (Santa's pissed!!!). There are other details and other gifts (I did balance the coal with a monthly subscription for a box of Japanese candy), and I have new projects and readings to start, but I choose present these details to give the impression of a holiday well spent.
posted by Turkey Glue at 9:01 AM on December 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


MetaFilter: Oh fuck, I gotta go to work.

Boxing Day here on the West Coast, and I successfully completed my sales experience by doing it online after midnight. We're meeting friends for lunch on Granville Island instead of fighting the crowds downtown. That's a good plan, right?
posted by arcticseal at 9:19 AM on December 26, 2013 [7 favorites]


I had Christmas with my son, his wife, and her brother, with friends over for dinner. Wonderful and fun, and interesting - it's their home and kitchen. Santa brought marshmallow guns, but they were crap and only fired 1 out of 10 - 15 tries. Cheap weapons and stall ammo didn't ruin our Christmas, though a massive marshmallow war would have been excellent. Son and Daughter-in-law announced their very new pregnancy. 2014 will be fun.
posted by theora55 at 9:19 AM on December 26, 2013 [7 favorites]


I had a post Christmas walk around Montmartre with the idea to take it easy and do a little window shopping (read, hungover) and go to a restaurant every guidebook would not shut up about when I walked around the corner and noticed a whole freaking line of second-hand shops - like five within view of each other. Why the hell not, I mean, they never have decent mesware and nothing ever fits me, but it'll kill an hour and help me work off the entire baguette I ate in bed cause I didn't want to move or speak.

So I go in and out, nothing is catching my eye, there is way to much 70s fur going on and what you have to understand is that these stores are tiny and overstocked, more like neatly stacked piles than racks and shelving so it takes forever to cover even a small amount of space. It gets disheartening pretty fast. I was going to give up but I had One Last Store left and figured why not. I cross the street. I open the door. I walk in.

And ...my god.

It was like a temple. A temple to vintage men's clothing. The poor faculties that human speech provides cannot begin to express the wonder of this vista. This was Aladdin's cave, this was the Wunderkammer, the Fortress Of Solitude, The Batcave as imagined by Tom Ford. It was the little curiosity shop in every fantasy story ever except instead of magic items and monkey's paws it's VINTAGE DESIGNERS PRICED TO MOVE. And then I see it, or I am drawn to it, as if enchanted.

An entire rack of classic Hugo Boss clothing. In my size. On sale. No, not on sale, REDUCED TO OBSCENE LEVELS. Did I mention they had SHOES? Shoes someone had loved and cared for? Shoes that fit my freakishly large feet, Cinderella style?

It was a Boxing Day miracle, the only time I've actually exited a store overburdered with big huge shopping bags and a smile on my face like I'm Cher from Clueless, content in the righterousness of the well-dressed.

Thank you unknown Parisian in exactly my size with excellent taste. I will never forget how you saved Boxing Day and made a little 29 year old's dream come true.
posted by The Whelk at 9:38 AM on December 26, 2013 [32 favorites]


Hey, arcticseal, have some salmon candy for me, please? There's a stall in the market there where I always get some when we're in Vancouver and I wish I had a teleportation device already. There is stuff here in SF that is called salmon candy but it is not the same. And if these spare-the-air days ever stop I'm going to start perfecting my own since I have a smoker and all.
posted by rtha at 10:17 AM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


Salmon candy? I have a mission.
posted by arcticseal at 11:23 AM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


The dog is now actively frightened of the burrow bed, the cat has decided that tissue paper is THE FOOD OF THE GODS WHY ARE YOU TAKING IT AWAY FROM ME, and the mother-in-law has departed.

Tomorrow we drive to my parents' house, which is its own special hell. But I still have seven days of vacation left after we return so things could be worse.
posted by cooker girl at 11:24 AM on December 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


Another name I have seen it go by - perhaps at that very stall - is squaw candy. It it delicious.
posted by rtha at 11:36 AM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


The dog is now actively frightened of the burrow bed
Have you considered therapy?

the cat has decided that tissue paper is THE FOOD OF THE GODS
I hate to say this but it's been out on the counter too long.

Don't lose focus. This is MetaTalk, Christmas or no Christmas.
posted by Namlit at 11:40 AM on December 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


Smoked Salmon Candy.
posted by MonkeyToes at 11:40 AM on December 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


Oh, I forgot to mention that there's some tension in the invitapriore household currently since we didn't even get cards from the cats. They cited "budgetary concerns" and "lack of thumbs" in their justifications (NOT apologies) to us, but when I came home yesterday after a few hours out I saw them scurrying inside after a joy ride on what was very obviously a brand-new motorcycle!
posted by invitapriore at 11:54 AM on December 26, 2013 [8 favorites]


After myriad jokes about how Michigan never gets a white crismus so much as a wet one, I ended up at my girlfriend's folks' place in Lansing, where they got an ice storm that coated everything with a sparkling layer of gorgeousness.
posted by klangklangston at 12:11 PM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


OMG MonkeyToes that looks like a winner. I have a whole collection of salmon candy recipes that I intend to work through and this one just got moved to the top.
posted by rtha at 12:21 PM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


The down side to Christmas is that it's also an unpaid two-week break from where I'm working. One bright spot is that my temp agency has asked me to come in tomorrow for standby, so I could pick up a day's work.

For today, though, I have had the luxury of surveying my fridge to figure out what to do with leftover roast duck - and I apparently have all I need to do a lovely duck and porcini risotto tonight. I may run out to the corner for some last minute random bits like milk or lettuce, but I'm pretty well stocked, and the dishes are even mostly washed.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:37 PM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


I am the only one at work and it is GLORIOUS. I spent the early morning reading fanfic and the late morning/afternoon being super productive to make up for it. I have also cleaned my desk and hung up my 2014 calendar. Tomorrow I leave for the wilds of Michigan to see my dad and his extended family. I will drink all the beer and eat all the cookies, so sorry, klang, if you suddenly experience a shortage.
posted by coppermoss at 12:38 PM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


We got drunk and played the year's pop tunes at the piano last night, so if you heard a loud bawdy cover of wrecking ball in portland at 2 this morning, I'm sorry.

Ha, I spent the post-dinner lull playing Wrecking Ball on the ukulele (so few hard chords, so satisfying).
posted by purpleclover at 1:03 PM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


My cherubic, adorable three year old gave me another surprise gift: his horrible cold. My throat is raw, my body aches, and I have to sing 5 shows of beethoven 9 in the next 8 days. Mommy's little petri dish, indeed.
posted by KathrynT at 1:33 PM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


For the 9th, better swap with a bass singer, they sing high enough as it is.
posted by Namlit at 2:10 PM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


The altos go up to a high e natural, pianissimo! And in the fugue he has us take a leap of an octave and a sixth -- the same range that covers the ENTIRE star-spangled banner! Beethoven, you were a stone genius, but you couldn't write for the voice for shit. Why couldn't you be more like that nice boy Verdi?

We recorded the 9th once, and the conductor in his madness had us start with the fugue and run it like seven times. Finally our chorusmaster had to come in and say "look, Jerry, if you haven't got what you want by now, you're not going to get it." Afterwards I felt like I had lost a hammer fight.
posted by KathrynT at 2:15 PM on December 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


Stone deaf genius you mean?
The silly part: people around Beethoven reported to him (via some entries in the conversation books that he kept after his deafness got worse, for people to write down their part of the conversation) that the singers had trouble during the rehearsals - if forget whether it was the Missa Solemnis or the 9th Symphony; no matter, the problem is the same - And We Don't Know His Answer. So no clue whether he ignored the singers (honeybadger dont give a shit) or was genuinely clueless (a little unlikely) or whether he wanted to create a shrill or intense sound or some kind of musical "tension" or something.

I've researched Beethoven since 1996 and I still have trouble enjoying the end of the 9th…there. I said it.
posted by Namlit at 3:11 PM on December 26, 2013 [7 favorites]


Excellent! In the Western Church, today is the Feast of Saint Stephen, mentioned in the song about Good King Wenceslaus, and also this hilarious song by Elvis Costello and The Chieftains.

Well. yeah, because today is St. Stephen's Day in all of Ireland. (We do not call it Boxing Day.) The Chieftains are Irish so... happy St Stephen's Day, everyone!!
posted by DarlingBri at 3:56 PM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


No salmon candy, all Granville market was shut for the holiday, but we did have a lovely long lunch at the Sand Bar and then did the sea wall to burn off the calories.
posted by arcticseal at 4:00 PM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


I'm gonna go with "ignored the singers," leavened with a little bit of cluelessness. There are some composers whose range decisions I will believe are designed to cause a strained or tense effect, notably Verdi and Britten, largely because they so frequently display such a great facility for writing for the voice, so you get the idea that when they break those rules, they do so on purpose and with understanding. But I've sung the 9th and the missa solemnis both, and Beethoven never really does display that; his music is mostly more or less singable, but it doesn't love the voice the way other composers' music does.

That having been said, b9 is one of the few pieces I perform a lot that I never get sick of. By now I can take or leave the Messiah, and I really need to get a couple years' distance from the Mozart Requiem, but B9 lights me up every single time.
posted by KathrynT at 4:13 PM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


(Pouts)

I needed fresh mushrooms for the risotto as well as dried porcinis. I can't make it yet.

Tomorrow.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:23 PM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


Go for more dried porcinis. It's gonna be great. (Fresh mushrooms are overrated anyway)
posted by Namlit at 4:27 PM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


Our naked Christmas Family. A mazola holiday tradition.
posted by mazola at 5:17 PM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


Use the water you soaked the dried porcini in as stock to make the risotto!
posted by The Whelk at 7:04 PM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


why would i do that when i have so much duck stock already on hand
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:32 PM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


Converse the dried mushroom water as delicious mushroom stock for later?
posted by The Whelk at 7:38 PM on December 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


I attended a lunch at the home of long-time family friends where I was the youngest person by about 25 years or so (I am about to turn 55). It was a wonderful time, actually: there's something about hanging out with a bunch of octogenarians, all of whom are aware that their time on earth is short, to demonstrate a sense of living in the moment. They all seemed content, even if more or less frail. And I drank something called Crabbie's Alcoholic Ginger Beer which if not the nectar of the gods is pretty damn close.
posted by jokeefe at 12:19 AM on December 27, 2013 [9 favorites]



My Ivorian Christmas started the morning of the 24th, when I drove out of the forest to the village of Paulet-oula (population: 350ish) to help butcher the pig I bought my field assistants for Christmas. We ate pepper soup with offal (I pulled bullets out of one of my pieces of liver), and drank some coutoucou and rum. We spent the day wandering around, drinking more coutoucou with village elders and frightening little kids by virtue of being horrifying and white, and finished it off with a dinner of more pork, giant land snail, and copious amounts of pepper and coutoucou.

The 25th dawned hot and sunny. All the kids got fancy newly tailored clothing to go with their new dolls, trucks, and fake cell phones that inexplicably played either Gangnam Style or the horrible Waka Waka Shakira song. The day was passed in similar fashion, with coutoucou and pork and hot pepper, and wandering around greeting village elders. That evening, we went to the grand opening of a new maquis in the village, where (by virtue of being exciting and white), we judged the Miss Noel Paulet-Oula 2013 pageant, drank some beer, and danced. After the generator ran out of power, I sat outside my friend's house on the stoop, singing Christmas carols while pigs and chickens and goats wandered past - having escaped the pepper soup pots for this year.
posted by ChuraChura at 4:44 AM on December 27, 2013 [14 favorites]


Wow. There's little to add to this. Thanks for the glimpse into Farawayistan.
posted by Namlit at 5:06 AM on December 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


I have received the Christmas parcel (it cost them 60 dollars to post) from my future in-laws in Wisconsin. I am still staring at the contents. My reactions in order were:

1) Oh, no. No no no no no.
2) I hope this is because of my long beard.
3) I'm not going to get on politically with them.
4) I have utterly no idea how to respond.
5) This is going to form an AskMeFi question...
posted by Wordshore at 5:40 AM on December 27, 2013 [13 favorites]


You need a cat.

(also: pics or it didn't happen)
posted by Namlit at 8:11 AM on December 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


giant land snail

D-:
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 9:47 AM on December 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


imagine how I feel
posted by The Whelk at 9:49 AM on December 27, 2013 [6 favorites]


I am late to the party, but it has been one of those years.

I nearly died this year, in the process ruining Thanksgiving, so it is with particular verve, flair and vim that I wish absolutely everyone here a happy merry of their choice, from myself and my family. It is a great pleasure to be around to say it, and to read the felicitations of others.

Eldest Boy, who performed heroically in the aforementioned Scrump Near-Death Crisis, got an iPad. I am here to report that the floor-speed velocity of an unladen eight-year-old in an 800-square-foot house is approximately eleventy billion miles per hour, accompanied by screams of joy.

Number Two Son had his LeapPad restored to him, with the story that it had been at Santa's repair shop (it went into time-out sometime last year, courtesy of me, and went into time-out so efficiently that we were totally unable to find it again. So we said it was off being fixed, and we were simply going to give up and buy a new one, when Mrs. Scrump located it. So the original returned to him, and he firmly believes in Santa's Repair Workshop).

Mrs. Scrump got a startlingly unexpected bonus this year, so the house got a new washer and dryer in Strumpet Red, along with a replacement for our antique AV receiver.

So, materially, a wealth of goods.

But spiritually, it would have been fine with nothing, because I got a good hard look at what my family's life would have been like without me. Any and all romantic notions I may have had were forcibly stripped from me. The wake-up call sent, and received, if you will.

So being upright and on this side of the grass is more than enough, and I will never forget this year, and, again, I am VERY HAPPY to be foisting all this nonsense on you, my long-suffering imaginary Internet friends.

As my friend the Catholic says, go in love and peace to sin some more, with my blessing. Happy everything to everyone.
posted by scrump at 10:14 AM on December 27, 2013 [21 favorites]


Oh man scrump you can't just allude to a near-death crisis and not give details!! I'm so glad you're still with us!
posted by KathrynT at 10:23 AM on December 27, 2013 [6 favorites]


Just popping in to report that I attained Aeropress heaven thanks to Santa this year, and also got a fix of green chile thanks to the Quonsmas elves, so it's been a good Christmas season. What made it really special is the seven-foor vinyl poster ("Eddie MURPHY is Donkey!") that my wife found on EBay for our son, who seems to be an Eddie Murphy / Shrek fan. That really ties the room together.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all.

(And I really really want to know what was in Wordshore's parcel.)
posted by RedOrGreen at 11:01 AM on December 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


My money is on either Duck Dynasty merch or a replica crown of thorns.
posted by griphus at 11:05 AM on December 27, 2013 [7 favorites]


I imagine every single item was Duck Dyntasy branded products.
posted by The Whelk at 11:06 AM on December 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


my long-suffering imaginary Internet friends.

ಠ_ಠ

I. Am. Real.

And very glad you are okay.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:13 AM on December 27, 2013 [8 favorites]


My money is on either Duck Dynasty merch or a replica crown of thorns.
posted by griphus at 14:05 on December 27 [+] [!]

I imagine every single item was Duck Dyntasy branded products.
posted by The Whelk at 14:06 on December 27 [+] [!]


Make sure to use Preview, kids
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 11:16 AM on December 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


Not entirely sure how the guesses were right, but they are right(!) Except the replica crown of thorns one.
posted by Wordshore at 11:29 AM on December 27, 2013 [6 favorites]


Except the replica crown of thorns one.

I think ol' Phil Robertson is wearing it now.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:41 AM on December 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


Except the replica crown of thorns one.

Whoa, they sent you the real one?
posted by griphus at 11:56 AM on December 27, 2013 [7 favorites]


That's gotta be an awkward episode of Antiques Roadshow.
posted by The Whelk at 12:21 PM on December 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


Tangentially related: a photo of some of the Hugo Boss findings.
posted by The Whelk at 6:02 AM on December 31, 2013 [3 favorites]


Looking good, Whelk.
posted by gingerbeer at 9:15 AM on December 31, 2013 [1 favorite]


A Christmas miracle
posted by The Whelk at 9:33 AM on December 31, 2013 [1 favorite]


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