Thanks mefi & mefi chat January 17, 2014 2:21 PM   Subscribe

To the best of my ability to recall dates and details, today is probably the anniversary of my brush with death thirteen years ago. My journey of healing is nearing it's end and today is one of those moments where it feels like life has come full circle, or is about to do so. In light of that, I want to take a moment to say thanks.

On or about January 6, 2001, 10 weeks of chronic sinusitis turned into pneumonia and I ended up in the ER (again). About 10 days later, I realized that the meds were not working and I was in very real danger of dying within the next 24 hours. With that realization, I fell into a deep sleep and dreamed that I was under sentence of death for being too cold to people due to the emotional baggage from my childhood. I vowed to redress that and it is something of a habit of mine to try to tel people when I have something nice to say about them.

Unfortunately, I find it is often extremely problematic to give people all the details as to why something mattered to me and how it was good for me, especially if I publicly name names and list specific incidents. Often, naming names winds up hurting those who got left out and sometimes turns the ones so named into obnoxious egomaniacs. Even when it doesn't, other people often are ugly to them and act as if they are egomaniacs because someone else said something nice. A very short list of people have gotten/will get a brief thank you note for me, some without details (in the interest of avoiding having people think I am dumping on them or what have you).

So, thank you mefi and mefi chat for your wit, your wisdom, intelligent discussion, and for being, in short, one of the miracles I needed to help me move forward on resolving personal problems which had begun to look unresolvable.

This isn't intended to be The Michele Show. I invite others to say their 2 cents worth below as to why they value mefi. I wish I could spent more time polishing this but I am extremely busy these days.

(((((HUGS))))) for anyone who wants them.
posted by Michele in California to MetaFilter-Related at 2:21 PM (34 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite

Congratulations. This sounds like you've reached an important milestone in your life. May the course continue to run true.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:32 PM on January 17, 2014

Many happy returns of the day.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:43 PM on January 17, 2014

This is good to read. Nothing wrong with a little Michele show. Congrats, and I agree, mefi can be a very good place.
posted by Namlit at 3:01 PM on January 17, 2014

I'm glad you're doing better!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:50 PM on January 17, 2014

posted by Jacqueline at 4:20 PM on January 17, 2014 [1 favorite]

There are probably worse things in the world than going from dying inside 24 hours to being so engaged with your own life that you only have time to express gratitude succinctly and poignantly. There are probably a lot of worse things. I'm glad you didn't die.
posted by Errant at 4:41 PM on January 17, 2014 [5 favorites]

I'm so impressed that you took a really awful experience and turned it into something as kind and considerate as this course of action. Go Michele!

Also, this just reminds me again how truly thoughtful, in both senses of the term, MeFites usually are. I find that tends to keep me trying to meet that mark, which is good exercise for both the mind and heart.
posted by bearwife at 5:35 PM on January 17, 2014 [3 favorites]

Congratulations Michelle! Stories like this are why I keep coming back here and are part of what makes this community special. Onwards and upwards!
posted by arcticseal at 6:55 PM on January 17, 2014

Godspeed Michelle. Journey on.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:15 PM on January 17, 2014

Good for you! Thank you for sharing.
posted by tristeza at 9:35 PM on January 17, 2014

posted by mazola at 10:16 PM on January 17, 2014

For me it's December 5th. Not that I almost physically died, but in 2004 I had the most difficult mental/emotional day of my life. Ever since I've reserved it as my personal spiritual day. Book it off work, make zero plans, and just sit and contemplate to see what happens.

It works really well since it's close to the opposite day of the year from my birthday, so they are kind of like the two solstices of my life. Inevitably I come to some kind of personal resolution.
posted by mannequito at 1:31 AM on January 18, 2014 [6 favorites]

Thank you.
posted by Golden Eternity at 11:53 AM on January 18, 2014

*Were you posting on Mefi under a different handle at the time?*

No. But my membership here was a gift from essentially a stranger during a pretty low point in this long strange journey. I have some particularly thorny personal challenges and few people have any idea at all how to try to overcome them. Although for the most part I haven't gotten advice per se here regarding those challenges, participation in the forum has allowed me to find a path forward. In the interest of not having this go sideways, I don't really care to elaborate further.
posted by Michele in California at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2014

Mefi has a pretty great community. We're glad to have you with us, Michele.
posted by chemoboy at 2:04 PM on January 18, 2014

have a hug -> <- this is a hug
posted by LogicalDash at 2:32 PM on January 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

((((Everyone needs a hug.))))
posted by Elsa at 3:27 PM on January 18, 2014 [4 favorites]

Michele, that's awesome.

I'm really too shy and frankly, not eloquent enough to really engage with this community on a meaningful level, but I am a world-class lurker. I am also in the midst of an exceptionally shitty time in my life. And honestly, this site is one of the brightest points of light in my universe right now. So yeah, thanks metafilter, for being awesome. This place gives me hope and makes me laugh and challenges me to think every single day, and I am incredibly grateful for it. I adore every last one of you people.
posted by dogheart at 6:21 PM on January 18, 2014 [16 favorites]

I actually worry about people here who are in terrible situations and I don't think I'm alone in that. My last two years have been enough to drive most people to suicide and just reading here has helped so much.

posted by Mr. Yuck at 8:15 PM on January 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

Glad you're still with us, MiC. One of the cheeriest voices in chat, as always. And you have the best smile!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 9:58 PM on January 18, 2014

Glad you're still with us, MiC

Ditto, MeFite!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 7:14 AM on January 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

New MeFi symbology proposal:

. = sorry you are dead
- = not sorry you are dead
! = glad you are not dead
~ = not glad you are undead
| = undead, glad you are currently alive (for use by hungry zombies, vampires, etc)
? = not sure whether you are dead, not entirely happy about that
; = not sure whether I am dead, not sure if you are either (for use in Philip K. Dick novels)
?!/+* = glad to have just travelled back in time to kill your grandfather, but you are still here. WTF??? Oh hang on I totally got it on with your grandma afterwards. Uh, OK ... awkward ...
+ = glad you died and came back to life, Lord.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 7:31 AM on January 19, 2014 [34 favorites]

I'm missing the "vote" button.
posted by Namlit at 8:52 AM on January 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

o = yeah, samsara really is the worst, see you soon
posted by Errant at 10:58 AM on January 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

Ø = C-c-c-combo breaker!
posted by ersatz at 3:28 PM on January 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

Hugs and cheers for you! I always enjoy your contributions here and am glad you're here to make them!
posted by kimberussell at 7:27 AM on January 20, 2014

Kind of like a (secular) second birthday! Do you do anything to mark the day? Just wondering.
posted by Mister_A at 7:43 AM on January 20, 2014

Or maybe it's not secular. Who am I to say?
posted by Mister_A at 7:46 AM on January 20, 2014

I remember some of your first posts here and have recognized your often thoughtful, helpful comments since. I am glad you have been here and hope to continue to read your comments here in the future. :)
posted by jillithd at 2:29 PM on January 20, 2014

!!! = surprised you are still alive (to use re: Keith Richards, item, the Macarena, etc)
posted by the quidnunc kid at 11:55 PM on January 20, 2014

I'm keeping my hand down, item. Gladly so.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 12:56 AM on January 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm happy you lived, and happy you are learning to live *well*, if that's a fair description. is a blessing for me, too.
posted by theora55 at 10:37 AM on January 21, 2014

Do you do anything to mark the day? Just wondering.

Given that I spent the previous 13 years fighting for my life and trying to get well after doctors basically wrote me off for dead, this was the first year that it seemed like some kind of positive anniversary in my mind (because I am clear the battle to get well is coming to a close, at long last, and that sense of closure purely coincidentally happens to be occurring around the same time of year as the start of all this drama). This year, I marked it by posting this MeTa and sending some private thank you notes. I did not specifically envision it as the start of a tradition or anything, but some of the remarks here have been food for thought in that regard.

Also, it is possible that someday I will get hold of old medical records or something, do the math and conclude that the REAL anniversary is the 21st of January or whatever. IF this becomes some sort of annual tradition where I mark the event, I am kind of thinking "Mid January for a Week-ish" will be the anniversary/time of celebration as closely as I can define it.

Also also, I have been wanting to leave a note for my several mefi spouses but then didn't want to inadvertently hog the limelight since that was not my purpose in posting this. Since I am posting anyway, I just want to say to my mefi spouses:

You never write, you never call...

(((and hugs)))

posted by Michele in California at 2:51 PM on January 21, 2014

I'm so very pleased to hear that one of my enspousenated MeFites is doing so well. Best wishes to you in all ways, but especially in hoping you stay healthy and happy.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 11:08 PM on January 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

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