I originally thought this was a site about Meat. May 20, 2014 10:45 AM   Subscribe

I don't care about your misreadings.

I don't like to hear descriptions of people's dreams, and I also don't like to hear what you misread a post or comment as. It's funny to you, but not to me, because I'm not you, and I didn't misread. It adds nothing to the discussion other than a possible derail. I also suspect sometimes people don't actually misread, they just want to make what amounts to a form of punnery that is supposed to be amusing.

It's a low form of humor that is very popular on Reddit, and seem to be getting more and more popular on this site. We should all strive to make better comments. Now get off my lawn.
posted by cell divide to Etiquette/Policy at 10:45 AM (183 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

Could you speak a little bit about where you see this happening? I don't remember ever seeing this here.
posted by Stewriffic at 10:47 AM on May 20, 2014


Do you have an example? Did you flag it as a derail?
posted by desjardins at 10:47 AM on May 20, 2014


I misread this as "I am grumpy today."

But I completely agree with you, especially about the dreams. Unless you're MLK, nobody gives a shit.
posted by bondcliff at 10:48 AM on May 20, 2014 [65 favorites]


MetaFilter: We should all strive to make better comments. Now get off my lawn.
posted by Etrigan at 10:49 AM on May 20, 2014 [10 favorites]


We should all strive to make better comments

Totally agree that we should all be making bitter comments. MeFi is too sweet for my liking, and an excess of sugary commentary can only add to America's dietary woes.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 10:52 AM on May 20, 2014 [55 favorites]


Well, I guess we found cell divide's true pet peeve.
posted by Think_Long at 10:57 AM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Haha it's true I'm grumpy today and not least because of yesterday's distressing announcement. I don't want to call anyone out, and it's not a big deal in any case, but here's a search that shows examples.
posted by cell divide at 11:01 AM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


It adds nothing to the discussion other than a possible derail.

Perhaps it adds to the human feel of the discussion? We're not just content crunching robots? You know, that "community" feel we go on about.

I also suspect sometimes people don't actually misread, they just want to make what amounts to a form of punnery that is supposed to be amusing.

I'm not sure we can enforce a policy of "don't make unfunny jokes."
posted by Jahaza at 11:02 AM on May 20, 2014 [16 favorites]


I'm as grumpy as the next person but I...kinda enjoy people commenting on their misreadings.
posted by mlle valentine at 11:03 AM on May 20, 2014 [71 favorites]


I both sometimes make and sometimes enjoy reading those types of comments, so if this is a vote, please cast mine on the side of 'harmless fun is harmless.'
posted by jacquilynne at 11:05 AM on May 20, 2014 [33 favorites]


I'm not sure we can enforce a policy of "don't make unfunny jokes."

Christ, I hope not.
posted by bondcliff at 11:06 AM on May 20, 2014 [14 favorites]


I bring you this missive from 1997:
"No one wants to hear what you dreamt about, unless you dreamt about them. Don't let that stop you. Tell them anyway, and you can make up it as you go."
Built to Spill
posted by knuckle tattoos at 11:11 AM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


...AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS!
posted by Behemoth at 11:14 AM on May 20, 2014 [5 favorites]


but here's a search that shows examples.

Is there another search phrase that would more convincingly suggest this is a growing trend? Sorting your search by date shows there have only been two instances so far in 2014, nearly halfway through the year, and that usage peaked in 2010 and again in 2012. (It's neat that the phrase apparently doesn't show up before 2006. Unless Google isn't as reliable as it used to be.)

2 in 2014
7 in 2013
8 in 2012
1 in 2011
9 in 2010
7 in 2009
3 in 2008
3 in 2007
3 in 2006
none earlier.
posted by nobody at 11:14 AM on May 20, 2014 [12 favorites]


I don't like to hear descriptions of people's dreams

OK but bear with me because I was kindasorta awake. My partner was leaving for work on Monday morning and I apparently suggested that instead of leaving she should stay and hug me. Reasonable thus far I think.

She said she needed to go to work to make money, which, again, is reasonable.

And then *I* said if she stayed I could offer her a picture of her favorite kind of duck.

She told me this after she got home from work, out of going to which I somehow did not successfully talk her.

I drew her the duck anyway. I don't really know how to draw, but I gave it a shot, y'know?
posted by davidjmcgee at 11:15 AM on May 20, 2014 [89 favorites]


Maybe we can redeem this thread by generalizing it to comment peeves, um, generally.

Mine is the constant misapplication of "I'm shocked, shocked, that [x is happening]". More often than not people use it to mean simply "color me surprised"; missing the crucial hypocrisy meaning.

In Casablanca, Capt. Renault says it in the pretense, not really expecting to fool anyone, that he's just discovered there's gambling at Rick's place. A moment later he is brought his roulette winnings from that evening. It's not just yet another synonym for "this is my surprised face."
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:18 AM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


I'm really disappointed that I wasn't able to find any way to misread this MetaTalk. I really wanted to, and believe me I tried. But nope. CD left no handle for that, at least as far as I can see. Plus, it's not eponysterical.

Sigh. Guess we have to stay on topic. Bummer.
posted by alms at 11:23 AM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Oh man, I misread the title as "I originally thought this was a site about Matt", and thought that someone was complaining about all the attention jessamyn, LM, and gnfti were getting recently.

In other news, cats will head right for the one person who doesn't like cats, and everyone knows what Barbra Streisand's Malibu house looks like.
posted by benito.strauss at 11:24 AM on May 20, 2014 [19 favorites]


Luckily it is on topic to say "I don't care that you don't care" and then dance a little jig
posted by elizardbits at 11:24 AM on May 20, 2014 [42 favorites]


I can stand reading "I misread that" because it takes about two nanoseconds to skip over. Much better than in real life when people insist on telling you how they misheard what you just said, and what their reaction to that mishearing was. That takes significant time from my life that I'll never get back.
posted by JanetLand at 11:25 AM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


As a person of ageness, I'm tired of "get off my lawn" jokes. We should strive to avoid cliches.
posted by Obscure Reference at 11:28 AM on May 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


I originally read this metatalk as "i don't care for when birds do that thing with their heads where it bobs as they walk. Like, can't you just WALK? You gotta do that head bob thing all the time? Control yourself, birds"
posted by Greg Nog at 11:28 AM on May 20, 2014 [37 favorites]


elizardbits: "Luckily it is on topic to say "I don't care that you don't care" and then dance a little jig"

*twirls elizardbits*
posted by zarq at 11:29 AM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


Ha. Until this very moment I thought you were me. I feel silly now, but thanks for clearing it up. Mods, I think we can close this now.
posted by michaelh at 11:29 AM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Greg Nog: "I originally read this metatalk as "i don't care for when birds do that thing with their heads where it bobs as they walk. Like, can't you just WALK? You gotta do that head bob thing all the time? Control yourself, birds""

I just get mad because they all do it at the same pace. They are all listening to the same song obviously. WHy are birds so unoriginal
posted by invitapriore at 11:34 AM on May 20, 2014


Why are most of the commenters on Reddit actually birds
posted by invitapriore at 11:35 AM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


Why do they suddenly appear every time you are near? I just washed my damn car.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:36 AM on May 20, 2014 [23 favorites]


In Casablanca, Capt. Renault says it in the pretense, not really expecting to fool anyone, that he's just discovered there's gambling at Rick's place. A moment later he is brought his roulette winnings from that evening. It's not just yet another synonym for "this is my surprised face."

I don't think people saying "this is my surprised face"are really surprised either...
posted by Naberius at 11:36 AM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


I don't think people saying "this is my surprised face"are really surprised either...

No, it's obviously sarcastic, but the point is it's not about lack of surprise it's about hypocrisy. To say you're "shocked, shocked that there's corruption in government" would be appropriate if you were yourself an openly corrupt government official.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:39 AM on May 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


In the future, I would prefer it if none of you ever did anything that I do not care for.

Thank you and have a pleasant day.
posted by briank at 11:39 AM on May 20, 2014 [27 favorites]


I also suspect sometimes people don't actually misread, they just want to make what amounts to a form of punnery that is supposed to be amusing.

I all too often make puns, and am prone to other attempts at tomfoolery in pathetic efforts at self validation. I have also occasionally reported my misreadings, and I would like to confirm that these subsets do not overlap in my case.

Anyway, back to my dreams, what does it mean when a snake with only one eye spits at me?
posted by biffa at 11:40 AM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


I don't like to hear descriptions of people's dreams

What if we dreamt about MetaFilter?
posted by Jacqueline at 11:43 AM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Does the snake get flaccid afterwards?
posted by Mr. Yuck at 11:45 AM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


nobody: the numbers are much higher if you search for "I read that as" rather than "I misread that as" although there is some crossover with other kinds of misinterpretation.
posted by biffa at 11:48 AM on May 20, 2014


So only advanced forms of humor from now on? Count me out. My partner and I had a great laugh the other day when the Beach Boys' Little Honda came on Pandora, and we both misheard one of the lyrics as saying the motorcycle "climbs the hills like a mattress". Mattresses don't climb hills!? Is that their way of saying the bike's really lousy at climbing hills? Maybe the gearing is all wrong...it's designed more for acceleration? They keep saying the bike is just "alright", after all. Or were they trying to sneak in some weird kind of innuendo?

And then we had to look up the lyrics, and learned about the Matchless motorcycle company.
posted by gueneverey at 11:48 AM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I know what you're thinking Mr Yuck and your mind is a cradle of filth.
posted by biffa at 11:49 AM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


I think what I'm reading here is that there must be a holy war against the avian menace, else birds and their nefarious crypto-pedestrianism be the death of us all. In that context, a giant monocular serpent should be "incepted" into the dreams of the King of the Birds, which fearful nightmare will convince him to vacate our grassy landholdings. If that policy is agreed I suggest we don our inception uniforms with all haste and never forget that THIS is the reality to which we must return.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 11:53 AM on May 20, 2014 [7 favorites]


It's a low form of humor that is very popular on Reddit, and seem to be getting more and more popular on this site.

While i agree with you that it's that kind of Daniel Tosh humor, i saw it on like slashdot and this site before i saw it anywhere else. I mean, i'd believe someone if they said this kind of kneejerk easy-lulz comment started on mefi.

So yea, it isn't reddit leaking onto MeFi at least. that organically started here on its own.
posted by emptythought at 11:53 AM on May 20, 2014


Welcome to 2007.
posted by loquacious at 11:56 AM on May 20, 2014


"Maybe we can redeem this thread by generalizing it to comment peeves, um, generally."

No, just no. Full stop.

Can we make this about how every other commercial is that Apple iPhone 5S commercial playing "Gigantic"? It's making me nutser.

Gigantic, gigantic, big big love.
posted by vapidave at 11:57 AM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Hey, vent post! I don't like that the same noisy dolts hog the Mad Men threads.
posted by planetesimal at 11:57 AM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


What if we dreamt about MetaFilter?

That's where I'm a Viking.

It was weird- first I dreamt I was having unsettling dreams, then found myself changed in my bed into a Professional Freestanding Gas 36” Commercial Depth Open Burner Range. Franz Kafka was trying to show Ursula K. LeGuin how to make omelets on my VariSimmer™ burners, but she couldn't get the technique quite right. They eventually gave up and walked away.
posted by zamboni at 12:00 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


Be careful everyone - I hear that if you die in someone else's MetaTalk dream, you actually die in real life. The only way to avoid that is to go into one of the MeTa thread commenter's dreams, like zamboni's dream as set out above. Eventually we will "incept" the idea that a Gigantic one-eyed snake which eats Vikings has joined a 1950's ad agency for hogs, but for God's sake don't forget which level of this thread is "reality", even if your deceased wife turns up.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:06 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


If someone posts a "I misread this as..." comment on the AV Club, without fail the first reply is "No you didn't" or some variation thereof. Never fails to make me laugh.
posted by Ian A.T. at 12:08 PM on May 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


Hey, vent post! I don't like that the same noisy dolts hog the Mad Men threads.

The thread's tone has been pretty light so far, so: Are you making fun of silly callouts that don't name anyone they're calling out, or making one in earnest?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 12:10 PM on May 20, 2014


Metafilter: That's where I'm a Viking.
posted by duffell at 12:13 PM on May 20, 2014 [7 favorites]


Thank you and have a pleasant day.

Oh, great. Another pleasant dayer.

No, just no. Full stop.

Hey, two of my pet peeves in one line!
posted by Celsius1414 at 12:17 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


The thread's tone has been pretty light so far, so: Are you making fun of silly callouts that don't name anyone they're calling out, or making one in earnest?

You know what? Never mind. If it's an honest gripe, there's no point naming names and making a fight out of it.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 12:18 PM on May 20, 2014


Maybe we can redeem this thread by generalizing it to comment peeves, um, generally.

My pet peeve is that peeves aren't really pets, they're more sort of like that squirrel that moves into your attic in winter and keeps you from falling asleep late at night by making weird rustling noises doing who-knows-what (nefarious squirrel deeds, surely) but you don't really have the heart to trap it or kill it and so long as it doesn't actually come into the house that's kind of okay, right? Except that some people around here have very definitely let the squirrel into their house, if you know what I'm saying. I don't know what I'm saying.
posted by mstokes650 at 12:19 PM on May 20, 2014 [13 favorites]


Another vote for no harm, no foul. Sorry you're grumpy, though. Why don't you pass the time by playing a little solitaire?
posted by languagehat at 12:19 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


lol I read that as playing a little Voltaire! lol
posted by Think_Long at 12:23 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


You know, lol looks kind of like someone about to prostrate themselves.

lol lol lol lol lol lol

.o. .o. .o. .o. .o. .o.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:31 PM on May 20, 2014 [91 favorites]


We're not worthy!

lol
.o.
lol
.o.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:35 PM on May 20, 2014 [33 favorites]


I misread that as prostate.
posted by dr_dank at 12:46 PM on May 20, 2014 [25 favorites]


LUCIFER OUR LORD
posted by zamboni at 12:47 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


I misread lol as lolbutts.
posted by knuckle tattoos at 12:50 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


You know, lol looks kind of like someone about to prostrate themselves.

Question: Are we seeing

lol

as a supplicant from the birds-eye prostrating themselves to something to the top of the screen? Or are we facing the supplicant, arms raised

lol

then they prostrate themselves to us, the viewer, arms pointed at us?

.o.
posted by Think_Long at 12:55 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


Wait, this isn't a website about meat? Shit, that changes everything.
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:55 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Guys! Protip lifehack: something something because reasons.
posted by perhapses at 12:58 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I feel like I've been using the Ask.Meat part of the site all wrong.
posted by cashman at 12:59 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I keep thinking of this Dinosaur Comic every time I contemplate a website made out of meat.
posted by mlle valentine at 1:00 PM on May 20, 2014


The apparent ambiguity of the viewership of the prostrating lol/.o. dyad is actually best explained as a superposition of two orthogonal targets of worship in tension.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:01 PM on May 20, 2014 [18 favorites]


lol
now throw your hands in the air

~o~
and wave 'em like you just don't care
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:03 PM on May 20, 2014 [26 favorites]


they just want to make what amounts to a form of punnery that is supposed to be amusing.

So what you're saying is that, like Mr. Bond, we should all shun punnery.
posted by mykescipark at 1:05 PM on May 20, 2014 [38 favorites]


the word bed looks just like a little bed
posted by theodolite at 1:06 PM on May 20, 2014 [49 favorites]


I'm not you, and I didn't misread.

Well pin a rose on your nose.
posted by discopolo at 1:11 PM on May 20, 2014


Oh hi folks who have read this far, I don't know why this whole thing reminded me of a question that has been burning a hole in my pocket, but what do you all folks do when you come across a comment that is very very apt.... but is a pun? I know I'm not the only one who feels like I'm letting down the side if I "like" puns. Is there a way to sort of love/hate a comment?
posted by janey47 at 1:11 PM on May 20, 2014


The standard groan response to a pun usually has a bit of love for puncraft embedded within.
posted by planetesimal at 1:13 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


the problem is groaning too far down the thread to seem like an immediate groan
posted by janey47 at 1:14 PM on May 20, 2014


Wow, this really needs to be a twitterbot, in the style of @cory_arcangel's "working on my novel" twitterbot.
posted by oceanjesse at 1:14 PM on May 20, 2014


It's a low form of humor that is very popular on Reddit..

Man, I don't even know how you use the internet. It must just all make you so angry.
posted by kbanas at 1:15 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


the word theodolite looks just as if you disassembled a theodolite and arranged its parts in a row
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:15 PM on May 20, 2014 [12 favorites]


Totally agree that we should all be making bitter comments. MeFi is too sweet for my liking, and an excess of sugary commentary can only add to America's dietary woes.

How about hurf durf butter comments? Don't want to cause any further coronaries.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:16 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]



Hey, vent post! I don't like that the same noisy dolts hog the Mad Men threads.


How can people posting on a website be noisy? If you want to make a comment, make one. Everyone can read it.
posted by sweetkid at 1:17 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Metafilter could use more HEY BATTER BATTER HEY BATTER BATTER HEY SWING! comments also.
posted by perhapses at 1:19 PM on May 20, 2014 [5 favorites]


I like hearing about people's dreams. I find it fascinating. And it makes me feel more normal because I have crazy dreams.
posted by discopolo at 1:21 PM on May 20, 2014


When someone tells me about their crazy dream I just interrupt them and say "I know. I was in it."
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:22 PM on May 20, 2014 [12 favorites]


Other good ones are "yes, that was the dream you were scheduled to have" and "good, wasn't it? I helped write it."
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:23 PM on May 20, 2014 [12 favorites]


When did Meatfilter turn into All the Reddits? Please won't someone think of the children?
posted by duffell at 1:23 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


I heard that cell divide doesn't want any more cat naming threads either. He wants to ban cats from Metafilter.

Is this really how we want to live? In the Pyongyang version that is cell divide's idea of the perfect Metafilter? Because first it's dreams and puns and then it's cats. Slippery slope, my people!
posted by discopolo at 1:31 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


if cats are outlawed then only outlaws will have cats
posted by janey47 at 1:38 PM on May 20, 2014 [8 favorites]


What's that about declawed cats?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:39 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


it's not a big deal in any case, but here's a search that shows examples.

Man, that makes for some great reading. Thanks for bringing this to our attention.

I'm actually serious, though. I like misreadings, I love misreading as a point of connection and humor, and I'm prone to point out my own misreadings.

But then again, I tell pretty good jokes to my seven-year-old and also like small font for asides, so there you go.
posted by SpacemanStix at 1:41 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


If cats are declawed then only withoutclaws will be cats.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:43 PM on May 20, 2014 [26 favorites]


what do you all folks do when you come across a comment that is very very apt.... but is a pun?

Nod forcefully like I'm hearing a good guitar solo, and, if it's a REALLY good pun, rhythmically thrust my pelvis a little.
posted by Greg Nog at 1:43 PM on May 20, 2014 [8 favorites]


the word bed looks just like a little bed

Guess what the word shark looks like.
posted by SpacemanStix at 1:43 PM on May 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


My pet peeve is people who don't comment on stuff being peeved at people who do. Just come talk to us. Then we won't be "dominating" anymore because you will be helping to keep the conversation flowing. I mean really.
posted by Sara C. at 1:44 PM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


OK cortex, this is EXACTLY what I'm talking about! I favorited your response but how can I possibly be SERIOUS about FAVORITING withoutclaws? I'm freaking out here, especially when I have any kind of thought of Greg Nog thrusting his pelvis even a little. MY EYES!
posted by janey47 at 1:44 PM on May 20, 2014


I LOVE the puns and misreads and dreams and silly auto-completes, and spell check suggestions and all the silly things. lol .o. heehee
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:45 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


The word onomatopoeia looks like what you accidentally type when attempting to wave away a fly that is buzzing by your ear.
posted by perhapses at 1:47 PM on May 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


Since when are favorites supposed to be serious?

It's not like Facebook where it gets weird when someone says "I GOT MUGGED BUT MY CREDIT CARD WASN'T IN MY WALLET AND I'M TOTALLY FINE" and you like it, because you're glad they're OK, but then it seems like maybe you were liking the fact that they got mugged.
posted by Sara C. at 1:48 PM on May 20, 2014 [7 favorites]


janey47, you have already started down the path; only fear diverts you on your righteous journey. Let your feet walk as they will, one step after another, mind unburdened from the weight of social opprobrium, and soon you will find your pilgrimage finished, your body sinking joyfully into the buoyant, nourishing bog that is pundom.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:50 PM on May 20, 2014 [8 favorites]


Conversely, if you really are glad they got mugged, it can be hard to make that sufficiently clear.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:51 PM on May 20, 2014 [10 favorites]


I'm freaking out here, especially when I have any kind of thought of Greg Nog thrusting his pelvis even a little.

It's pretty great and if anyone dreams about it tonight I hope they come into the thread and let me know
posted by Greg Nog at 1:53 PM on May 20, 2014 [11 favorites]


Whenever I see cortex's username I'm reminded that I'm waiting for someone to mention the cranial meninges in conversation so I can ask them what that is and when they tell me I can say something like "oh, so basically cerebral gore-tex" but nobody ever brings it up
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:55 PM on May 20, 2014 [8 favorites]


OK FINE I'M CRYING NOW THANKS YOU GUYS
posted by janey47 at 1:57 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Was I supposed to only be posting things other people definitely care about?
posted by bleep at 1:59 PM on May 20, 2014



Since when are favorites supposed to be serious?

It's not like Facebook where it gets weird when someone says "I GOT MUGGED BUT MY CREDIT CARD WASN'T IN MY WALLET AND I'M TOTALLY FINE" and you like it, because you're glad they're OK, but then it seems like maybe you were liking the fact that they got mugged.


Yea that gets really weird. And then people are like "why are people liking this it was a horrible thing" because people don't realize Like is just the Facebook Term for a piece of functionality.

I also hate when someone calls out something I've favorited like I'm advocating it strongly, or the fact that I favorited it means I'm guilty of some hypocrisy.

One of the ways I've used favorites in the past which I've been realizing in old threads is while reading a thread about something controversial that I don't feel qualified to be talking about - I've liked comments on both "sides" of the discussion. Looking back on it when my opinion is more refined it's educational to see what viewpoints I thought were interesting before.
posted by sweetkid at 2:07 PM on May 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


No, it's obviously sarcastic, but the point is it's not about lack of surprise it's about hypocrisy.

To complain about the ongoing evolution of English and shifting meaning of phrases is literally worse than Hitler and I could care less about your pet peeves.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:08 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


My wife brought home a toy Pomeranian from the humane society and that dog is literally a pet peeve.
posted by perhapses at 2:14 PM on May 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


I don't like

OK
posted by Sternmeyer at 2:36 PM on May 20, 2014 [12 favorites]


You know, lol looks kind of like someone about to prostrate themselves.

lol lol lol lol lol lol

.o. .o. .o. .o. .o. .o.


I misread that as cortex laughing hysterically at his own joke... before I realized there was another line.*

*True story
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 2:46 PM on May 20, 2014 [8 favorites]


I know I'm not the only one who feels like I'm letting down the side if I "like" puns. Is there a way to sort of love/hate a comment?

The standard groan response to a pun usually has a bit of love for puncraft embedded within.

If the puns are sufficiently bad (i.e. good), you may find that you have groan to love puns after all.
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:47 PM on May 20, 2014 [11 favorites]


YAY PUNS!

(If I posted that every time I wanted to, it would probably comprise 10% of my comments here.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:48 PM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


I personally misread things all the damn time, and frequently point out my stupid misreads because they're FUNNY, damn it.
posted by sarcasticah at 2:56 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


Metatalk queue: On All The Time Now
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:04 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


That said: OP is right that these are not funny. They're not even jokes really. Nevertheless, it is a harmless habit and I'm sure I have many worse ones.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:06 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I once had one of those dreams where I needed a haircut. In the dream, I was in a town I vaguely knew, but I didn't know where to find a barber, so I asked a passing policeman. I couldn't hear his directions terribly well, so I bent down low, the better to apprehend him; this was the point at which I became aware that I was a giraffe.

To cut a long story short, I eventually found my way to the said barber's shop, only to find that I was unable to duck sufficiently low to enter. But that was fine, my dream-self rationalised, because giraffes don't really need haircuts.

The very next night, I dreamt that I was sitting on top of an old Mini Cooper with my dad while it drove in a spiral around the outside of the shell of a gigantic snail.
posted by pipeski at 3:17 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: buoyant, nourishing bog
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:17 PM on May 20, 2014


It's true what the man said: Hell is other peep holes.
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:17 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I dreamed a dream in threads gone by
When SEO was high
And Adwords was paying
I dreamed that links would never die
I dreamed that mods would be forgiving

Then I was flagged and they moved on...
(Anne Hathaway sings a few more verses )

I had a dream my post would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from the fpp
Now MeTa has killed
The dream I dreamed
posted by humanfont at 3:18 PM on May 20, 2014 [7 favorites]


Nevertheless, it is a harmless hobbit I'm sure I have many worse ones.

Dude, I don't know what Bilbo has to do with any of this, but I did buy the Desolation of Smaug on DVD yesterday.
posted by SpacemanStix at 3:21 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Leave the pee holes out of this.
posted by biffa at 3:26 PM on May 20, 2014


I submitted almost a dozen puns in a contest hoping to win first prize, but no pun in ten did.
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 3:33 PM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


Guy, guys, there was a fire at the circus!

It was...in tents.

Several clowns died.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:37 PM on May 20, 2014 [19 favorites]


I would like to attest that when I mentioned I dreamed that Jessamyn told me STFU, that really was what happened.
posted by Chrysostom at 3:53 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


To complain about the ongoing evolution of English and shifting meaning of phrases is literally worse than Hitler and I could care less about your pet peeves.

This begs the question "I know, right?"
posted by George_Spiggott at 3:58 PM on May 20, 2014 [7 favorites]


My big problem with this is that a large portion of my life I'm unsure if I dreamed it or not. For instance, I recall hearing "I Dreamed A Dream" in a coffeeshop yesterday, which seemed out of place. But this is exactly the kind of odd-but-trite thing that resembles my dreams, and so might be one. How am I meant to obey this injunction if I can't keep my memory straight?
posted by solarion at 4:05 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I don't like to hear descriptions of people's dreams

I dreamed I saw St Augustine alive as you and me. The city, not the guy. It was a weird dream.
posted by octobersurprise at 4:12 PM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


Won't stop rappin' and punnin' till my heart stops runnin'
Sorry if it's Reddity / embedded deep in my hereddity
My dad makes bad puns / call my bad puns dad puns and have fun
damn son

Uhh, yeah

My wife puts up with this shit, like I'm in middle school
Got that invincible paper, can't break them rules
I perforate fools with rhyme power tools
My fusion reactor never stops, never cools
posted by jake at 4:25 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


The very next night, I dreamt that I was sitting on top of an old Mini Cooper with my dad while it drove in a spiral around the outside of the shell of a gigantic snail.

Were you still a giraffe? Oh, maybe don't answer that... I have such a delightful picture in my head it would be a shame to spoil it.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 4:26 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


It's a low form of humor that is very popular on Reddit

See, this type of shit here is my pet peeve.
posted by Hoopo at 4:51 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Well, as an Australian I'd like to say that being an Australian leads to dreams about Tony Abbott giving one 'the baleful eye', as I said in my dream last night. And don't tell me that dream stories are boring, I already know. I dreamt I was doing the dishes once. And this one time, this stupid internet box put a little red squiggly line under the word 'dreamt'. That really cooks my goanna.
posted by h00py at 5:03 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


h00py, if that is the Tony Abbott of the University of Adelaide that I'm preparing an FPP about I will have to kindly ask you to get out of my head.
posted by Room 641-A at 5:51 PM on May 20, 2014


I misread this whole thread as something that wasn't lame and didn't need to be closed.
posted by turbid dahlia at 5:58 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


I feel like we are maybe getting a preview of post-Jessamyn Cortex, and I feel like someone should point that out. We are all doomed, basically.
posted by mudpuppie at 6:10 PM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


It's weird OP because this was just bothering me, here and on Facebook. I hadn't really thought about it before but it's this way of redirecting the conversation to the mishearing/misreading rather than what the person was actually talking about. Especially because we can always go back and reread something, as opposed to live conversation. It definitely seems like it's just trying to be funny, and it's really not that funny but rather kind of tedious. I'm also guilty of doing this so I'm definitely going to try to be more careful about it in the future. I don't think it adds that much.
posted by sweetkid at 6:10 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


sweetkid, you do realize that's just leaving the floor wide open for those of us who are unrepentant misreaders, don't you?
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:13 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]



sweetkid, you do realize that's just leaving the floor wide open for those of us who are unrepentant misreaders, don't you?


No, I am brand new to the internet and have no idea if taking a few minutes to write something genuine in response to a MetaTalk thread might inspire people to make jokes.
posted by sweetkid at 6:16 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


I misread that as sarcasm.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:20 PM on May 20, 2014


I dreamt that there was someone who was really crabby on Metatalk. It turned out that he had a huge stick in his ass. It took over 700 comments to figure it out. We were really stumped there for a while.
posted by double block and bleed at 6:26 PM on May 20, 2014


I misread my own capacity for humour and will sit down and shut the fuck up for a while.
posted by h00py at 6:42 PM on May 20, 2014


wait i thoguht this thread was about meat
posted by klangklangston at 6:43 PM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


"Misread" misery.
Mish-mashed, misnomered....
Misused miscues...

Misfit miscreant missives.

Misread?

...

Mistake!
posted by Debaser626 at 6:54 PM on May 20, 2014


On the one hand, I kinda get what the problem is, because usually someone posting their misreading is saying, 'Isn't this thing I did funny?' to which the answer is often 'Eh, not really.' I mean, it doesn't irk me as much as it does the OP but I can see how it could.

On the other hand, though, when posting a misreading, someone is also saying 'My brain just did this. Isn't that weird?' - and yes, brains are and always will be weird and I wholeheartedly agree with that no matter how often it's said.
posted by gadge emeritus at 7:15 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


lol lol .o. .o. .o.
That's me trying to do pushups.
posted by mono blanco at 7:35 PM on May 20, 2014 [9 favorites]


My dreams are mostly boring shits where I am at work, and then there's that guy, or I see that person I used to know, and then they do a thing.

My misreadings, though? Comedy gold.
posted by box at 7:52 PM on May 20, 2014


I hate it when someone's pet peeve post turns into a delightful free-for-all of silly comments.

No, wait...I love it.
posted by xingcat at 7:53 PM on May 20, 2014 [12 favorites]


You know what? After finding out that we have lost 3 moderators, including the beloved Jessamyn, and that Meta has been on shaky financial ground for a while... I love all the stupid things people do here, and am just grateful that Meta is still here.

Puns, Ponderings and Dreams: Full speed ahead!
posted by Meep! Eek! at 7:56 PM on May 20, 2014 [5 favorites]


Misread

Mad Sire Admires A Dermis; Ma Rides
"Mead, Sir?" "Made, Sir!"
Armed Is Sidearm
Dream Is Mad Rise
Ma Sired Sad Emir - Red Aims: Sad Mire
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:10 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


It's a low form of humor that is very popular on Reddit

You need to listen to more Firesign Theatre. Meaning shift and mis-hearing of words is an incredibly high form of humor which can lead to deep insight and bring the listener closer to understanding the point of the comedy itself.

It may not always be well-executed here, but... yeah, seriously. YouTube has several Firesign Theatre albums in their entirety. I suggest you start with Waiting For The Electrician and go forward chronologically from there.
posted by hippybear at 8:22 PM on May 20, 2014 [13 favorites]


So this is the thread to share hilarious misreadings and crazy dreams?! Yay, two of my favorites!

Today I saw a truck for Rescue Rooter, a 24-hr plumbing place, and misread it as Rescue Rooster.

Once I had a dream that I made out with a mefite, who will remain anonymous. True story. It was a good makeout session, but kinda weird. Definitely a sign that I should add some new websites to my repertoire...
posted by Fig at 8:28 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Is there another search phrase that would more convincingly suggest this is a growing trend?

Who said it's a growing trend?

The search for "I misread that as" only gives some examples. There are many other ways it could be phrased, e.g. the heading of this thread ("I originally thought this was...").
posted by John Cohen at 9:27 PM on May 20, 2014


This could be a site about meat and daydreams.

The immortality of the crab:
Of all the immortalities, I believe in
only yours, friend crab.
People break into your body,
plop you into boiling water,
flush you out of house and home.
But torture and affliction
Make no apparent end of you. No...

Not you, poor despicable crab -
brief tenant in this mortal carapace
of your individuality; fleeting creature
of flesh that quails between our teeth, not you -
but others of your vast species; infinite crab
takes over the strand.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 10:53 PM on May 20, 2014


Guy, guys, there was a fire at the circus!
Britain's Hate Circus Identified
posted by unliteral at 10:53 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


lol is the universal "help I'mma die fallin' through this thin ice; if only I'd seen the sign" sign
posted by aydeejones at 11:01 PM on May 20, 2014


The worst fire was when some dyed in the wool clowns performed at an Alpaca Festival even after the fire started and were burned in a horrible, prolonged conflagration fueled by an abundance of alpaca fur.
posted by aydeejones at 11:08 PM on May 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I took a nap earlier and dreamed about a portal opening up over Washington, DC and dropping the Magic School Bus into our universe, disrupting the space-time continuum and causing massive collateral damage and also the rights to the Magic School Bus getting bought by Disney

Liz had to sacrifice herself (himself? itself?) dramatically to save everything

basically what I am saying is that my dreams are awesome and fascinating and if your dreams aren't then maybe you should try getting on Effexor
posted by NoraReed at 11:14 PM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


John Cohen: "Who said it's a growing trend? "

cell divide did above: "It's a low form of humor that is very popular on Reddit, and seem to be getting more and more popular on this site. "

Since searches aren't turning up confirming evidence, it's reasonable to ask for additional examples to determine if cell divide's correct.
posted by zarq at 4:27 AM on May 21, 2014


Guy, guys, there was a fire at the circus!

It was...in tents.

Several clowns died.


The fire spread to the library.

Both books were destroyed.

They hadn't even been colored in yet.
posted by fuse theorem at 6:48 AM on May 21, 2014 [1 favorite]


This is just a friendly reminder that correlation does not equal causation.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 6:58 AM on May 21, 2014


I just made one of these comments in a thread on the blue. And you know what? It was still a good comment. It was about beer.
posted by slogger at 7:03 AM on May 21, 2014


MisantropicPainforest: "This is just a friendly reminder that correlation does not equal causation."

Double.
posted by Chrysostom at 7:09 AM on May 21, 2014


you heard about the girl who kissed her canary and caught chirpes? her doctor told her it was untweetable.
posted by bruce at 8:34 AM on May 21, 2014 [9 favorites]


you heard about the girl who moved into an apartment upstairs from the bank of america? her assets over a million.
posted by bruce at 8:35 AM on May 21, 2014 [2 favorites]


I'm pretty sick of the "I misread that as" and "I read that as" and "I originally read that as" and "I thought that said" comments myself (I haven't written one in weeks!), but it's not difficult to just skip to the next comment when I see one of those phrases.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:54 AM on May 21, 2014


Can we make this about how every other commercial is that Apple iPhone 5S commercial playing "Gigantic"? It's making me nutser.

Everytime I see that I mutter to myself that it better be bringing Kim Deal enough money to make another Breeders album.
posted by aught at 9:02 AM on May 21, 2014 [5 favorites]


Last night I was looking into the backyard when I heard a sound and turned to see a dog-sized insect crawl into the dining room. It was beige, with a triangular head, a segmented body, and six short legs. It looked a bit like a termite and my first instinct was to stomp on it, but I realized I'd make a pretty big mess, so I cast about for some sort of tool with which I could shoo it away.

As soon as I turned around, it skittered into the living room and under the couch, so I enlisted the help of three dogs: my brother's schipperke (who was young again), my friend's old beagle (who was alive again), and my friend's new dog, some kind of bull terrier.

I directed them under the couch and they came right back out, tails wagging, like "No big deal, what's going on?" So I got on my hands and knees to look under the couch and out wriggled a black Gordon setter puppy who commenced to immediately lick my hand.

At first I assumed the puppy ate the big insect, but that seems impossible for several reasons. It seems much more likely that the insect, rightly fearing for its life, metamorphosed into a cute puppy.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 9:03 AM on May 21, 2014 [6 favorites]


Some of us just genuinely get confused and misread things. Like I got confused about my computer and cut my nipple off.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:52 AM on May 21, 2014 [4 favorites]


Lot of that going around lately.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:14 AM on May 21, 2014


As Gregor Samsa awoke the next morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed from yesterday's enormous insect form, into a small puppy. He was sprawling on his soft, as it were down-covered, back and when he lifted his head a little he could see his fuzzy pink belly amassed into an adorable mound of pudge, on top of which the bed quilt could hardly stay in place and was about to slide off completely. His four legs, which were pitifully short compared to the rest of his body, waved before his eyes with merciless cute.
posted by drlith at 12:25 PM on May 21, 2014 [4 favorites]


tl;dr and I wish I knew what the original complaint was.

but here's a search that shows examples.

That search brings up complete threads. How about a link to an actual comment of the type that bothers cell divide?

Because of the reactions here, I imagine it's a complaint of mine as well because I absolutely HATE IT when they embed stupid puns in newspaper headlines -- but maybe that's not what this is all about.
posted by Rash at 1:59 PM on May 21, 2014


Everytime I see that I mutter to myself that it better be bringing Kim Deal enough money to make another Breeders album.

Kim and Kelley and Jo are quite active on their Facebook page talking about the next record, FWIW...
posted by mykescipark at 6:53 PM on May 21, 2014 [1 favorite]


As a person of ageness, I'm tired of "get off my lawn" jokes.

You know who has a really great lawn? John Scalzi.
posted by Joe in Australia at 9:22 PM on May 21, 2014




Pope Guilty: "It's okay to not like things. "

I found that to be amazingly awesome. Thanks for the link!
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 12:08 AM on May 22, 2014


i don't care for when birds do that thing with their heads where it bobs as they walk

I automatically started bobbing my head when I read that. Apparently, I am a bird.
well, at least I won't have to change my profile picture.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:31 AM on May 22, 2014 [1 favorite]


When she misspeaks, my mother notes that what she says is often much more entertaining than what she means. I think of misreadings this way.
posted by maryr at 9:23 AM on May 22, 2014


I have often worked with an actor who refuses to correct typos in my scripts, but just says them as written. So I don't correct them. What ends up on the stage is far more interesting to the ear that what I meant to write.

That being said, I irritate my girlfriend by saying back to her whatever I thought I heard, instead of saying "what?" because I didn't quite hear her. She'll say "Any phone calls today?" and I'll say "Any prawns fall away?"

"Yes," she'll answer. "I need to know if prawns fell away. Any of them? Any at all?"
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:40 AM on May 22, 2014 [7 favorites]




And then *I* said if she stayed I could offer her a picture of her favorite kind of duck.
posted by davidjmcgee at 2:15 PM on May 20


Based on how I misread the bolded part, I'm almost positive I know what you intended to say, but couldn't due to the vagaries of slumber.
posted by magstheaxe at 10:50 AM on May 22, 2014


Oh. Huh.

You know that reading had genuinely not occurred to me? It wouldn't even have entered my mind that she would have a favorite kind of truck.
posted by davidjmcgee at 12:32 PM on May 22, 2014



That being said, I irritate my girlfriend by saying back to her whatever I thought I heard, instead of saying "what?" because I didn't quite hear her. She'll say "Any phone calls today?" and I'll say "Any prawns fall away?"


That would drive me insane. My mother often says random things she thinks she heard, not to be funny I don't think, but I also have no idea why.

Also you have a land line?
posted by sweetkid at 12:40 PM on May 22, 2014


I recently rewatched the pilot of Alias. She had a lot of really cool spytech.

And an answering machine.
posted by davidjmcgee at 12:43 PM on May 22, 2014 [1 favorite]


There is a sign on 440 Parkway in Nashville that says "Center lane does not exit."

Once when on that road, I misread* it as "Center lane does not exist." Since I was in the center lane at the time I began to have one of my more epic existential crises. It took a good ten minutes of freaking out before my boyfriend, who was driving, figured out that I'd just misread a sign. I ended up making him get off the parkway and take surface streets because I was convinced it just wasn't safe.

I still get a little rumbly feeling in my tummy when I'm in the center lane of 440 for any length of time. Like it might just up and stop existing on me at any given moment. Fortunately, I don't live in Nashville anymore, so 440 isn't an issue.

*It was in college. I may not have been of sound mind at the time.
posted by teleri025 at 1:58 PM on May 22, 2014 [5 favorites]


It adds nothing to the discussion other than a possible derail.

It can add amusement. I'd be shocked, shocked, if people weren't aware that their own interests, sense of humour, sense of this or that, differed from others.

I'd tell you about the dream I had last night, because it was, I know, extremely interesting, but I've completely forgotten about it.

I don't think I've ever dreamt about meat but this (NSFW) shows that people may well have dreamed about it.
posted by juiceCake at 3:54 PM on May 22, 2014


Well, I DID make that comment the other day about misreading "No Wedgies" as "No Weddings" on the post about the giant water slide.

I absolutely DID misread it. I had my screen resolution smaller than usual, and I had been napping because I was sick. And there are PLENTY of crazy couples out there who want to get married on roller coasters and other amusement park rides. The Disney parks fan sites are full of them complaining about how Disney doesn't let you get married inside the parks, and how much they charge to even let you get married on resort property, and comparing strategies for sneaking officiants in for under-the-radar "guerilla" weddings, etc.

If it had been an FPP about war, human rights, the economy, a new scientific discovery, or something like that, I might have held back, but I didn't suppose that mentioning how I thought people were getting married on the giant water slide was going to derail serious discussion about the giant water slide.

Who's for a schottische?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:45 AM on May 23, 2014


Meh. I can see where the silly and/or fake misreadings gags could be irritating. But they amount to... what? A dozen or so words each? I find that a pretty harmless gag. And I'm not convinced at all they represent any risk for a derail.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:20 PM on May 23, 2014


Today I misread an AskMe title (scabies vaccination = "scabies vacation") and it was a beautiful thing.

That's all.
posted by Sara C. at 2:23 PM on May 23, 2014 [2 favorites]


Wait, no, it was "shingles vaccination" to "shingles vacation". Sorry.

My thought was "Dude why you wanna go on vacation with shingles? Just stay home and take care of yourself."
posted by Sara C. at 2:28 PM on May 23, 2014 [2 favorites]


Would have been better if your subconsciousness had gone the next step and turned "shingles vaccination" into "singles vacation". "Why does this person want to spend their holiday at a health clinic???"
posted by benito.strauss at 4:15 PM on May 23, 2014 [1 favorite]


I was hoping this post was going to be about scary-ass beats that I could really groove to.
posted by planetesimal at 4:30 PM on May 24, 2014 [1 favorite]


I just stumbled across the fact that the auditory version of the phenomenon in the OP, when you mishear a word as a similar-sounding one, is called a mondegreen. Wikipedia says it was coined in 1954.
posted by XMLicious at 3:31 PM on June 15, 2014


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