Morale is low and the troops are mutinous. September 13, 2014 11:31 AM   Subscribe

Hey, guys. Happy Caturday. Remember that time that cmyk's cat got all sticky and we got the play-by-play of the cleanup? I just did. Go have a sit and read that thread. Your life will be better for it.

I spent a good chunk of today bathing my dog in medicated shampoo (which he has to sit in, without rinsing, for 15 minutes, on the coldest day of the season so far and no I haven't turned my heat on yet so yes I sat there by the tub and held the space heater at him the whole time) and re-reading the trials and tribulations of cmyk and stickycat helped a bunch.
posted by phunniemee to MetaFilter-Related at 11:31 AM (56 comments total) 33 users marked this as a favorite

I cannot offer video, but it's probably for the best, because when the cat starts shrieking I start in with this maniacal laughter and then remind her, quite sternly, of everything she has ever done wrong that she got away with. That time you disemboweled a possum? Revenge. That time you broke my desk trying to get to a fish in a bowl? Revenge. That time you ran up to me, bit my toe, and ran away? REVENGE!

Hahaha!

That thread did indeed make my day. Poor violent untamed sticky cat! Poor cmyk!
posted by winna at 12:20 PM on September 13, 2014 [3 favorites]


I have just decided that our three cats, even though they are all black, are very differently dressed.
Wasabi is a perfect gentleman, and very elegant; he obviously wears a black tuxedo.
Wodan looks more sloppy and somewhat lumpy, not elegant at all, but his fur is wonderfully soft and thick. He is wearing a velvet lounge suit.
And Wiepje is always running and jumping and climbing so she wears a track suit.

Excuse the non se-cat-ur.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:24 PM on September 13, 2014 [3 favorites]


In other feline news: Cat saved family from deadly snake following four day ordeal
posted by homunculus at 1:26 PM on September 13, 2014 [1 favorite]


I missed the followup question in-thread but the sirening farm cat was a white long hair. Definitely had a kinship with Mina in spirit if not coat color, though.
posted by vegartanipla at 1:40 PM on September 13, 2014 [1 favorite]


Poor Truman! Did he get into something sticky too?
posted by brujita at 2:11 PM on September 13, 2014


This is one of the best cat pictures I've seen.
posted by desjardins at 2:31 PM on September 13, 2014 [26 favorites]


Truman and I have been waged in a battle of histamines for a while. I finally lost. Thursday involved me breaking out in hives in the middle of the night, placing a call to the emergency nurse to make sure I wasn't going to die, half a bottle of benadryl, lots of baths and laundry, a trip to the vet, and $270 of various tinctures and tablets for the dog.

tl;dr dog had a skin allergy flare up and I am allergic to dog dander
posted by phunniemee at 2:41 PM on September 13, 2014 [2 favorites]


That sounds almost like the premise for a high concept TV show.
posted by ocherdraco at 5:18 PM on September 13, 2014 [2 favorites]


"...I spent a good chunk of today bathing my dog in medicated shampoo ..."

Is this coal tar shampoo? It's apparently an ingredient in some medicated dog shampers as well as human shampers, as I recently found out (very good for scalp problems).

Boy does it stink.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:07 PM on September 13, 2014


Mrs. Ghidorah, while I was reading the saga of the sticky cat, said that my smile (while reading) was freaking her out. So there's that, at least.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:34 PM on September 13, 2014 [2 favorites]


Re: cat saviors. Meet Black. Black lives at the research station in Cote d'Ivoire where I work, where he is both a calming presence upon whom you can stack things, and a fearsome hunter who has killed at least 4 black mambas and one forest cobra.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:58 PM on September 13, 2014 [57 favorites]


That is a truly lovely cat that I want no contact with.
posted by Splunge at 8:25 PM on September 13, 2014 [4 favorites]


Oh no, phunniemee! I hope you and Truman will be able to breathe easier, and less stinkily, soon.

Mina is still kicking around. She comes in to eat, howls to go back outside, and sometimes caterwauls at me from the carport roof. (There are many climbable trees nearby.) I hope that as she slows down with age I'll be able to turn her into an indoor cat, but that day hasn't come yet. She does get her annual shots and I check her over for injury or damage - other than feeding her, that's really all I can do. Some cats can't tame, no matter what. She's as docile as she's likely to get.

The lovely scratch across the back of my hand faded without a scar. And her fur grew back. The rest stays on the internet.
posted by cmyk at 8:40 PM on September 13, 2014 [17 favorites]


You know how, when you see movies involving the Puritans or the Salem Witch Trials or whatever, they always have someone show up in the town square in the stocks, with their head and hands (and sometimes feet) poking through the little holes?

If an innovative creatif somehow designed a working model of the stocks for immobilizing cats, that person would be a bazillionaire overnight.
posted by misha at 8:58 PM on September 13, 2014 [6 favorites]


Oh my god, yes, though strapping the cat in would be a miracle itself.

My dog (not the whining at the bathroom door dog, I lost her to cancer) shredded a pincushion last week. I skipped Metafilter and went right to the vet for that one. She's fine, just dumb.

As a kid I always wanted to live in James Herriot's world. I realize now I sort of am - as one of his lunatic clients with inexplicably wrong animals. I can live with that.
posted by cmyk at 9:05 PM on September 13, 2014 [17 favorites]


You can deactivate a cat? I never knew.
posted by SpacemanStix at 9:11 PM on September 13, 2014 [1 favorite]


They make kitty straightjackets.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:17 PM on September 13, 2014 [10 favorites]


As a kid I always wanted to live in James Herriot's world. I realize now I sort of am - as one of his lunatic clients with inexplicably wrong animals. I can live with that.

Oh my god, you just made my life make sense!
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 9:21 PM on September 13, 2014 [3 favorites]


This is our first Caturday with Whiskers, who was found Wednesday under the hood of a pickup just before the engine was to be started. (As in, on engine, under hood.) How could I not adopt?

The adult cats are none too pleased.
posted by wallabear at 10:37 PM on September 13, 2014 [12 favorites]


How did I miss the vital cultural touchstone that is Ode to a Buttered Cat?
posted by louche mustachio at 12:09 AM on September 14, 2014




a den of kittens
posted by The Whelk at 12:31 AM on September 14, 2014 [12 favorites]


This is our first Caturday with Whiskers, who was found Wednesday under the hood of a pickup just before the engine was to be started. (As in, on engine, under hood.) How could I not adopt?

Oh lord, I'm dead
posted by dismas at 5:54 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]


i just wanted to dive face-first into that den of kittens
posted by angrycat at 6:18 AM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]


My birthday just recently came and went and not one single person got me a kitten.

There is no justice in this world.
posted by cooker girl at 6:55 AM on September 14, 2014 [4 favorites]


Rock Steady: the kitty straightjacket looks useful (with a convenient carrying handle even!) but I'm picturing a little ..... shall we say opposition?!? ..... from sweet little pussycats like cmyk's Mina, mie's Buttered Cat, or ChuraChura's snake-killing Black.

Watch out for the pointy bits, folks.
posted by easily confused at 7:38 AM on September 14, 2014


There are way too many heads in that den of kittens. Where are all their bodies?
posted by ChuraChura at 7:52 AM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm imagining an entirely different Well of Souls in Raiders of the lost ark after watching the den of kittens video. Just a sea of kittens writhing around the ark, and Indy still gets captured because he's just sitting on the floor playing with the kittens.

My version would be awesome.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:21 AM on September 14, 2014 [16 favorites]


Is this coal tar shampoo?

No, thankfully it actually smells pretty ok. Like strawberries, medicine, and degradation.
posted by phunniemee at 9:57 AM on September 14, 2014 [8 favorites]


You assholes are making me want a cat. But with my luck it would either be an incredibly stupid cat or another psycho cat. Either way, Mina would not approve, and the vet bills would be worse than repeatedly x-raying a needle inside an energetically idiotic cur dog.
posted by cmyk at 10:10 AM on September 14, 2014


Omg. How did I miss the sticky cat thread the first time? It has also reminded me I need to get binder clips and see if they will actually deactivate any of my cats (you know, for science).

As thanks for the laugh I must share my favourite kitten live stream, from a shelter around these parts: tinykittens!
posted by cgg at 10:50 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]


The last cat I ever owned was the sweetest cat. She was either so bright she thought she was human, which unfitted her for her life as a cat, or she was super dumb. But she was so charming! She would greet me with a loud 'mi-MOW!' when she walked into a room and would pat my face when she needed my attention. If she was feeling chatty she and I could sit for hours making cat sounds at each other or playing peekaboo. But peekaboo with a cat is dangerous because after a while they get too excited and forget not to use their claws to snag at you.

Cats are quite nice as long as I don't have to have them in my house shredding everything and peeing on all the things, which is why Sachiko was my last cat. She was adorable except for her thought that the world was her urinal and scratching post. Not that she would use any of the actual scratching posts I bought or made for her, pbuh.
posted by winna at 11:14 AM on September 14, 2014


I think the den of kittens has the right number of heads.
posted by jaguar at 11:53 AM on September 14, 2014


Cat Hydra.
posted by The Whelk at 12:07 PM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]


Thanks, cmyk and phunniemee, for the saga of the sticky cat. It definitely improved my day!

winna, was Sachiko named after the character in The Makioka Sisters? I am reading that at the moment, in between cuddling my two ridiculous orange cats, Sinister and Dexter.
posted by daisyk at 12:19 PM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]


I thought for sure this would include a link to our most recent AskMe on How to Dewax a Cat. It includes the requisite photos and a happy ending.
posted by gingerbeer at 12:29 PM on September 14, 2014 [5 favorites]


Hail (Cat) Hydra!
posted by Ghidorah at 1:25 PM on September 14, 2014 [4 favorites]


How to Dewax a cat is eponysterical.
posted by Deoridhe at 3:01 PM on September 14, 2014


I have a friend who owned an indoor/outdoor cat who was 8.5 pounds of pure fury. You did not mess with this cat, although she was tolerant enough if you showed respect. Anyway, about once a month she would hang out under the pine bushes and come home with her fur full of resin. Despite being a crabby little creature, she would quite calmly submit to being bathed in warm water to get the nasty stuff off her fur. Then she would go out to the parking lot and cuss at the neighbor cats.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:20 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


Our upstairs neighbor's cat is incredibly beautiful, glossy black with goldengreen eyes and a thick black tail.

He is also a big stupid asshole and I have scratches on my leg to prove it.


I wish him no real harm, but an affront to his dignity would please me greatly.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:36 PM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]


a den of kittens yt

My favorite part of that is at about 0:43, when one of the kittens decides to be curious for about half a second, but then just falls asleep and sinks back down into the den.
posted by lunasol at 6:11 PM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]


winna, was Sachiko named after the character in The Makioka Sisters?

Nope, I just thought it was pretty and a catly name! You could never name a dog Sachiko except maybe a shibe or a pug.
posted by winna at 6:34 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


They make kitty straightjackets dufflebags.
posted by maryr at 2:54 PM on September 15, 2014


Hachiko was a dog, winna.
posted by maryr at 2:55 PM on September 15, 2014


This seems like a good time to ask about this comment involving a cat jumping on a glass table over and over for years, until one day there was no glass and it plopped on the floor. The comment asked how did the cat know the glass was there to begin with? And it always blows my mind
posted by mrbigmuscles at 5:08 PM on September 15, 2014



i just wanted to dive face-first into that den of kittens
posted by angrycat at 6:18 AM on September 14 [2 favorites +] [!]


I feel like I just did
posted by janey47 at 10:58 AM on September 16, 2014


The comment asked how did the cat know the glass was there to begin with?

Reflection?
posted by maryr at 11:25 AM on September 16, 2014 [1 favorite]




The cat might've started out by jumping onto a pile of magazines or something else opaque that was covering most of the glass surface.
posted by easily confused at 5:21 AM on September 17, 2014


I own this shirt, and it seems to me, that after reading this thread, cmyk might need it too.
posted by ikahime at 11:30 AM on September 17, 2014 [2 favorites]


I'm a fan of this convergently evoloved variant, but I admit it lacks screaming.
posted by maryr at 12:43 PM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


I am going to deactivate every cat I meet from now on. I never even suspected. They will all call me "The Great Deactivator".
posted by not_on_display at 10:46 PM on September 17, 2014


I'm a fan of this convergently evoloved variant, but I admit it lacks screaming.

Not a cat, but here's some screaming.
posted by homunculus at 11:02 PM on September 17, 2014


You can deactivate a bunny by putting it on its back.
posted by Rock Steady at 4:47 AM on September 18, 2014


Turtles too.
posted by maryr at 10:34 AM on September 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


OUVRE-MOI
posted by homunculus at 4:07 PM on September 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


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