TiVO.metafilter.com November 16, 2000 9:17 AM   Subscribe

Ok, let's set up a place for the TiVO essays now...

posted by baylink to MetaFilter-Related at 9:17 AM (2 comments total)

OK, i just won, and I figure I'd post my essay just to prove how bad an essay can be and still win.

You want a rivalry? You want rancor? Forget Tyson & Holyfield, Jordan & Miller, Martinez & Clemens, heck forget even Bush & Hussein. You want no-holds-barred, grudge match, I-don't-like-you-and-you-don't-like-me-and-this-time-it's-personal action, look no further than my living room. I'm talking 'bout TV & me.
Truth be told, I'm semi-retired. I watch 'The Simpsons' and rent movies. I'm beaten. I hear it mocking me:
  • "Sure, you could watch Conan O'Brian tonight if you didn't have to work."
  • "No Seinfeld or Frasier reruns on now, but they're making gazpacho on the Cooking Channel."
  • "Sure, those diaper ads are very important, even if you don't have kids."
I want a rematch, but this time it's got to be tag team. The TiVo watches all the ads, all the shows, at all the odd hours, and I watch what I want, when I want, how I want. Victory is in sight. The sweet sounds of revenge are buzzing in my head already:
  • "I'm watching Letterman with breakfast. What do you think of that?"
  • "Thanks for trying, but I'm already aware of the virtues of clear skin."
  • "No, I won't be needing that subscription to TV Guide anymore."
I'd like to think of it as a team effort, while still voting TiVo MVP.

posted by boaz at 9:55 PM on November 20, 2000

I am afraid of entering again, for fear of going through around round of TiVo hell. It's not too exciting, but you can listen to an mp3 of the voice mail that a TiVo employee left for me. This message is from roughly a month after I initially won on Sept. 28th or so. I was still trying to find out the status of my missing unit.

posted by gluechunk at 1:49 AM on November 21, 2000

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