Mentioned in comments, Dutch comedian who parodies language class August 26, 2015 7:21 PM   Subscribe

I've been searching on MetaFilter and just can't find it: there was a comment a few years ago that linked to the YouTube channel of a Dutch comedian who parodies I think ESL class aimed at Dutch immigrants. So it's this weird but highly amusing hybrid of Dutch and English with plenty of caustic puns (in Dutch). Anyone recall who or what I am talking about?
posted by Nevin to MetaFilter-Related at 7:21 PM (13 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

This almost certainly isn't it, but your description made me think of Anders Lund Madsen's routine about Norwegian swimming rules.
posted by zebra at 8:29 PM on August 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Philip Walkate
posted by Confess, Fletch at 9:57 PM on August 26, 2015

That's it! Thank you!

I wish I spoke Dutch!
posted by Nevin at 10:26 PM on August 26, 2015

What's the joke with "Welcome, I all hate you"?
posted by Nevin at 10:31 PM on August 26, 2015

I think it's a joke about the Dutch verb heten. The first, second, and third person singular form, heet is pronounced just like hate in English. So, if my name is John, I would introduce myself by saying "Hallo, ik heet John", which sounds a lot like "Hello, I hate John".
posted by neushoorn at 11:26 PM on August 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

I haven't heard the routine, but in addition: 'welkom heten' means 'to welcome'. (Literally: to tell or call someone welcome.)
So 'Ik heet u allen welkom' is a polite phrase that can be used to welcome a group. It could also be used in the slightly different form 'Welkom heet ik u allen' and then we're pretty much there.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:22 AM on August 27, 2015

This is the specific video I saw and Too-Ticky has it, he says: "I all hate you welcome in the inburgeringscurse".
posted by blub at 3:36 AM on August 27, 2015

Thanks very much once again. Although I don't speak Dutch, this comedian's videos give me such pleasure.
posted by Nevin at 8:27 AM on August 27, 2015

A random, non-dutch thing popped into mind, but whatever:

This is a sentence in Estonian: "Ruumis on vaja koristust."
This is a sentence in Finnish: "Ruumis vajaa koristusta."

The Estonian sentence means: "The room needs to be cleaned."
The Finnish sentence means: "The corpse needs to be decorated."

posted by Pyrogenesis at 9:12 AM on August 27, 2015 [6 favorites]

English: 'Quiet night.'
Gronings: 'Kwaait naait.' (meaning: I don't know)

Gronings is a dialect of Dutch.
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:16 PM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

Tx. That was hilarious.
posted by jouke at 4:05 PM on August 27, 2015

Some Dutch people actually talk English like that--but he does it better.

... He's got a great future. We will have to keep him in the holes.
posted by Namlit at 8:17 AM on August 28, 2015 [3 favorites]

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