Rest in Peace, quin January 7, 2017 12:00 PM Subscribe
I am sad to inform our community that long-time member quin has died.
Here is the message from his wife, who is also a member here, [insert clever name here]. It was originally posted on his Facebook account, but it was perfect, so I'm copying it here.
Hi friends. quin took his life on Monday night. I've informed some of you, but I know there are many more of you out there that do not know, and this was the easiest way to get the message out there. I'm posting from his account because some of our circles do not cross.
I don't have memorial information yet, but will post it as soon as I have that settled. There will be a service of some sort and hopefully a celebration of quin's life. You all will be welcome.
Many of you know he was battling with depression. But it was a lot worse than he let on. In the weeks and months leading up to this, he posted some of his struggles to Facebook, but many more he kept to himself. And though he had mental health professionals helping him, I don't think anyone; them, myself, realized just the extent of it.
I only really grasped the extent and depth of his depression in the final days, and only in retrospect. When things went downhill, they spiraled out of control fast. I am deeply saddened I nor anyone else was able to help him. He was hurting, had been for a long time, and I can only take comfort that at least that is over for him.
I am going to memorialize his page as is in a few days, after I receive the death certificate and have felt I no longer need it to communicate to his friends via this means. I will post updates here until then. I've chosen to keep all his posts intact; I know he wished depression were less stigmatized and I think that by keeping those posts visible, it can help others realize that depression can be deadly and to take it seriously before it kills.
We are atheists; please feel free to morn in the way you choose but understand that we do not ascribe to any religious teachings. Please respect that in quin's memory as we go forward. Prayers are okay. Telling me he's with angels not so much.
I love you all; He loved you all.
Here is the message from his wife, who is also a member here, [insert clever name here]. It was originally posted on his Facebook account, but it was perfect, so I'm copying it here.
Hi friends. quin took his life on Monday night. I've informed some of you, but I know there are many more of you out there that do not know, and this was the easiest way to get the message out there. I'm posting from his account because some of our circles do not cross.
I don't have memorial information yet, but will post it as soon as I have that settled. There will be a service of some sort and hopefully a celebration of quin's life. You all will be welcome.
Many of you know he was battling with depression. But it was a lot worse than he let on. In the weeks and months leading up to this, he posted some of his struggles to Facebook, but many more he kept to himself. And though he had mental health professionals helping him, I don't think anyone; them, myself, realized just the extent of it.
I only really grasped the extent and depth of his depression in the final days, and only in retrospect. When things went downhill, they spiraled out of control fast. I am deeply saddened I nor anyone else was able to help him. He was hurting, had been for a long time, and I can only take comfort that at least that is over for him.
I am going to memorialize his page as is in a few days, after I receive the death certificate and have felt I no longer need it to communicate to his friends via this means. I will post updates here until then. I've chosen to keep all his posts intact; I know he wished depression were less stigmatized and I think that by keeping those posts visible, it can help others realize that depression can be deadly and to take it seriously before it kills.
We are atheists; please feel free to morn in the way you choose but understand that we do not ascribe to any religious teachings. Please respect that in quin's memory as we go forward. Prayers are okay. Telling me he's with angels not so much.
I love you all; He loved you all.
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posted by ocherdraco at 12:01 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by ocherdraco at 12:01 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by supermedusa at 12:04 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by supermedusa at 12:04 PM on January 7, 2017
Awful news; I'm sorry for what you're going through, [insert clever name here]. I know quin will be deeply missed around here. I want to thank you for letting folks know, and thanks to ColdChef for helping out with this.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:05 PM on January 7, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:05 PM on January 7, 2017 [9 favorites]
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posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:08 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:08 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by ChuraChura at 12:09 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by ChuraChura at 12:09 PM on January 7, 2017
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My condolences to his surviving friends and family.
posted by tobascodagama at 12:09 PM on January 7, 2017
My condolences to his surviving friends and family.
posted by tobascodagama at 12:09 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Golden Eternity at 12:13 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Golden Eternity at 12:13 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Stewriffic at 12:16 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Stewriffic at 12:16 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by oneswellfoop at 12:16 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:16 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:19 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:19 PM on January 7, 2017
Crap, this is a terrible surprise. I'm so sorry [insert clever name here].
posted by mathowie (retired) at 12:19 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by mathowie (retired) at 12:19 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by languagehat at 12:19 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by languagehat at 12:19 PM on January 7, 2017
So very very sorry. I'm also available to talk to any fellow mefites who need an ear... stay safe everyone.
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posted by pearlybob at 12:21 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by pearlybob at 12:21 PM on January 7, 2017
I gasped when I read the news. I have no words, just a heavy, sad feeling.
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posted by Kattullus at 12:22 PM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by Kattullus at 12:22 PM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
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Lots of love and hugs to you [insert clever name here]
posted by daybeforetheday at 12:27 PM on January 7, 2017
Lots of love and hugs to you [insert clever name here]
posted by daybeforetheday at 12:27 PM on January 7, 2017
I am crying. How many will we lose this way before we can find a way to reach them in time?
(((((insert clever name here))))))
posted by infini at 12:27 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
(((((insert clever name here))))))
posted by infini at 12:27 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
This is terrible news. Deepest sympathies to family and friends.
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posted by Pope Guilty at 12:31 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Pope Guilty at 12:31 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:33 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:33 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by theodolite at 12:35 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by theodolite at 12:35 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by solitary dancer at 12:39 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by solitary dancer at 12:39 PM on January 7, 2017
I'm so very sorry. This is terrible.
posted by maxsparber at 12:39 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by maxsparber at 12:39 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 12:39 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 12:39 PM on January 7, 2017
Please sidebar this post.
posted by hippybear at 12:40 PM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 12:40 PM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by agatha_magatha at 12:40 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by agatha_magatha at 12:40 PM on January 7, 2017
Hugs [insert clever name here].
This is devastating news.
Much love y'all.
posted by Annika Cicada at 12:42 PM on January 7, 2017
This is devastating news.
Much love y'all.
posted by Annika Cicada at 12:42 PM on January 7, 2017
Love and hugs to you, [insert clever name here]. I am so sorry. You don't know me in the least, so I'm probably the best person to do massive feeling-dumps to. Feel free to MeMail me if you want.
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posted by kimberussell at 12:44 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by kimberussell at 12:44 PM on January 7, 2017
Fucking awful. I'm so sorry for your loss, [insert clever name here]. Quin will be sorely missed.
posted by Phire at 12:53 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Phire at 12:53 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by bibliogrrl at 12:54 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by bibliogrrl at 12:54 PM on January 7, 2017
I'm so sorry for your and your family's loss, [insert clever name here]. May you find comfort in your memories.
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posted by cooker girl at 12:58 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by cooker girl at 12:58 PM on January 7, 2017
So sorry.
Years ago when Metafilter was smaller, and it was more common to cross online paths, I had a number of great interactions with him. I enjoyed his sense of humor and insight.
posted by The Deej at 12:58 PM on January 7, 2017 [4 favorites]
Years ago when Metafilter was smaller, and it was more common to cross online paths, I had a number of great interactions with him. I enjoyed his sense of humor and insight.
posted by The Deej at 12:58 PM on January 7, 2017 [4 favorites]
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posted by MonkeyToes at 1:05 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by MonkeyToes at 1:05 PM on January 7, 2017
This is just awful. You are in my thoughts today, [insert clever name here]
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posted by Frayed Knot at 1:06 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Frayed Knot at 1:06 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by audi alteram partem at 1:09 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by audi alteram partem at 1:09 PM on January 7, 2017
[insert clever name here], I am so very sorry. Please know that he was loved by us and you are loved by us, and if you need us, we are here.
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posted by tzikeh at 1:16 PM on January 7, 2017 [3 favorites]
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posted by tzikeh at 1:16 PM on January 7, 2017 [3 favorites]
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posted by Celsius1414 at 1:17 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:17 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by mothershock at 1:20 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by mothershock at 1:20 PM on January 7, 2017
Sincere condolences and hugs. So sorry for your loss.
posted by chococat at 1:35 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by chococat at 1:35 PM on January 7, 2017
I'm so sorry [insert clever name here]. Please take care of yourself.
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posted by billiebee at 1:37 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by billiebee at 1:37 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by equalpants at 1:40 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by equalpants at 1:40 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by smangosbubbles at 1:41 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by smangosbubbles at 1:41 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by the latin mouse at 1:43 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by the latin mouse at 1:43 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by but no cigar at 1:45 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by but no cigar at 1:45 PM on January 7, 2017
quin's also from Milwaukee, so we've met several times at various meetups, including the 10th anniversary and the day I got divorced. Always an interesting conversationalist and never a hint of the demons that plagued him.
I met up with [insert clever name here] last night at a local restaurant and she's many times stronger than i would be in the same circumstances. Suicide is just awful for all involved. I hope quin has finally outrun the black dog, and I hope his wife can find peace.
posted by AFABulous at 1:45 PM on January 7, 2017 [64 favorites]
I met up with [insert clever name here] last night at a local restaurant and she's many times stronger than i would be in the same circumstances. Suicide is just awful for all involved. I hope quin has finally outrun the black dog, and I hope his wife can find peace.
posted by AFABulous at 1:45 PM on January 7, 2017 [64 favorites]
I'm so sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences to you [insert clever name here].
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fuck you, depression
posted by rtha at 1:46 PM on January 7, 2017 [7 favorites]
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fuck you, depression
posted by rtha at 1:46 PM on January 7, 2017 [7 favorites]
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posted by needlegrrl at 1:50 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by needlegrrl at 1:50 PM on January 7, 2017
[insert clever name here], I'm so sorry to hear this.
When I was debating whether or not to join the site, fun discussions - like this in one of quin's posts (I remember this specifically) - were the deciding factor.
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posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:52 PM on January 7, 2017 [5 favorites]
When I was debating whether or not to join the site, fun discussions - like this in one of quin's posts (I remember this specifically) - were the deciding factor.
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posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:52 PM on January 7, 2017 [5 favorites]
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posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:57 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:57 PM on January 7, 2017
[insert clever name here], I'm so sorry to hear this.
posted by bardophile at 1:58 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by bardophile at 1:58 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by purpleclover at 1:58 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by purpleclover at 1:58 PM on January 7, 2017
I'm really sorry to hear this. I always enjoyed quin's contributions on the site. He was a regular, steady voice on mefi for so long.
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posted by smoke at 2:10 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by smoke at 2:10 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by phunniemee at 2:35 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by phunniemee at 2:35 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by typewriter at 2:42 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by typewriter at 2:42 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by jet_pack_in_a_can at 2:56 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by jet_pack_in_a_can at 2:56 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by spinifex23 at 3:00 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by spinifex23 at 3:00 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by slipthought at 3:02 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by slipthought at 3:02 PM on January 7, 2017
I'm so sorry.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 3:03 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 3:03 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by invisible ink at 3:18 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by invisible ink at 3:18 PM on January 7, 2017
Good lord, I am so sorry. Sending many hugs.
posted by Hermione Granger at 3:19 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Hermione Granger at 3:19 PM on January 7, 2017
[insert clever name here], I am so so sorry for your loss.
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posted by Lyn Never at 3:28 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Lyn Never at 3:28 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by FireFountain at 3:31 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by FireFountain at 3:31 PM on January 7, 2017
Always enjoyed his posts and comments. So, so sorry. Hugs and thoughts to you, [insert clever name here], and to his other family and friends.
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posted by gemmy at 3:39 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by gemmy at 3:39 PM on January 7, 2017
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I knew him through fellow nerds and mailing lists; I never realized he was a MeFite too. :(
posted by mrbill at 3:39 PM on January 7, 2017
I knew him through fellow nerds and mailing lists; I never realized he was a MeFite too. :(
posted by mrbill at 3:39 PM on January 7, 2017
Sincere condolences [insert clever name here].
Remember that you are not alone, and we are all in this together. I hope you find peace.
posted by mightshould at 3:47 PM on January 7, 2017
Remember that you are not alone, and we are all in this together. I hope you find peace.
posted by mightshould at 3:47 PM on January 7, 2017
I'm so very sorry for your loss, [insert clever name here].
posted by epj at 3:49 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by epj at 3:49 PM on January 7, 2017
My condolences to you, [insert clever name here], your family, and friends for this most devastating loss.
posted by strelitzia at 3:54 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by strelitzia at 3:54 PM on January 7, 2017
I am so sorry, [insert clever name here]. I hope you are surrounded by love and support in the days and months ahead, and that quin's memory is a blessing to you.
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posted by shiu mai baby at 4:01 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by shiu mai baby at 4:01 PM on January 7, 2017
I enjoyed quin's contributions here very much, and I'm very sorry to hear this. My condolences, [insert clever name here].
posted by EvaDestruction at 4:12 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by EvaDestruction at 4:12 PM on January 7, 2017
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kindness and peace to you, [insert clever name here].
posted by crush-onastick at 4:26 PM on January 7, 2017
kindness and peace to you, [insert clever name here].
posted by crush-onastick at 4:26 PM on January 7, 2017
I am so, so sorry, [insert clever name here]. My deepest condolences.
posted by Mchelly at 4:27 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Mchelly at 4:27 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by cotton dress sock at 4:33 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by cotton dress sock at 4:33 PM on January 7, 2017
Oh quin. This is so heartbreaking. Whenever I see his username I think about his cute animal posts, and I have always thought he seemed a very gentle soul. I'm so sorry, [insert clever name here].
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posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:35 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:35 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by mochapickle at 4:36 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by mochapickle at 4:36 PM on January 7, 2017
That is just heartbreaking news. I am so terribly sorry [insert clever name here]
posted by madamjujujive at 4:46 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by madamjujujive at 4:46 PM on January 7, 2017
well fuck...
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 4:54 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 4:54 PM on January 7, 2017
Insert clever name here, what a powerful and moving fb notice you made in the midst of your own loss. A million hugs for your loss and a million thanks for keeping quin's wish to help destigmatize mental illness.
posted by biggreenplant at 4:57 PM on January 7, 2017 [16 favorites]
posted by biggreenplant at 4:57 PM on January 7, 2017 [16 favorites]
I am so sorry. So much love to you, [insert clever name here].
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posted by Metroid Baby at 5:05 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Metroid Baby at 5:05 PM on January 7, 2017
I'm so sorry, [insert clever name here]. quin posted some fun and memorable FPPs.
posted by not_on_display at 5:07 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by not_on_display at 5:07 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by purplesludge at 5:24 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by purplesludge at 5:24 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:30 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:30 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by mygothlaundry at 5:40 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by mygothlaundry at 5:40 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by lalochezia at 5:47 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by lalochezia at 5:47 PM on January 7, 2017
I am so very sorry. Thank you for your forthrightness in letting us know so much about his struggle, [insert clever name here].
posted by SLC Mom at 5:50 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by SLC Mom at 5:50 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
So very sorry for this, for quin's loss and for your pain.
posted by corb at 5:54 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by corb at 5:54 PM on January 7, 2017
So sorry to hear. Hugs and strength to all.
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posted by palmcorder_yajna at 6:18 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by palmcorder_yajna at 6:18 PM on January 7, 2017
Shit. I'm so, so sorry. Quin was awesome. He will be missed here.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:40 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:40 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by thomas j wise at 6:54 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by thomas j wise at 6:54 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:57 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:57 PM on January 7, 2017
I am very sorry for your loss, [insert clever name here]. Please accept my condolences.
posted by ob1quixote at 7:00 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by ob1quixote at 7:00 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Secretariat at 7:10 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Secretariat at 7:10 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:23 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:23 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Spathe Cadet at 7:53 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Spathe Cadet at 7:53 PM on January 7, 2017
So very sorry about this, [insert clever name here]. Do take care of yourself.
This is actually the second community where I have seen this news shared. That tells me that quin was known to a lot of people -- and he's being mourned by all. I wish those ties had been strong enough to hold him from that abyss.
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posted by wenestvedt at 7:54 PM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
This is actually the second community where I have seen this news shared. That tells me that quin was known to a lot of people -- and he's being mourned by all. I wish those ties had been strong enough to hold him from that abyss.
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posted by wenestvedt at 7:54 PM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by angelchrys at 8:08 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by angelchrys at 8:08 PM on January 7, 2017
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I'm so sorry [insert clever name here].
This was one of my favorite comments of his.
posted by brujita at 8:36 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm so sorry [insert clever name here].
This was one of my favorite comments of his.
posted by brujita at 8:36 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
Dear [insert name here],
I am so very sad to read of quin's passing and my heart aches for you. Sending you a million hugs.
To all of the rest of us, I am so sorry for yet another Mefite passing on.
I ♥ us all.
posted by Lynsey at 9:20 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
I am so very sad to read of quin's passing and my heart aches for you. Sending you a million hugs.
To all of the rest of us, I am so sorry for yet another Mefite passing on.
I ♥ us all.
posted by Lynsey at 9:20 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
Oh my goodness. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 9:27 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 9:27 PM on January 7, 2017
Oh no!
In the first MeFi mix swap I participated in, he sent one of the best, most elaborately packaged mixes I've ever received.
He had a great sense of humor, and was a great source for what's going on in Wisconsin politics — he rescued some pretty weak news filter posts with great comments.
He was a great guy and I'll miss him.
posted by klangklangston at 9:53 PM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
In the first MeFi mix swap I participated in, he sent one of the best, most elaborately packaged mixes I've ever received.
He had a great sense of humor, and was a great source for what's going on in Wisconsin politics — he rescued some pretty weak news filter posts with great comments.
He was a great guy and I'll miss him.
posted by klangklangston at 9:53 PM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
Oh no. I am so, so sorry. I'm thinking of you tonight. Please be well and take care. That fucking disease. I'm so sorry.
posted by pintapicasso at 10:16 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by pintapicasso at 10:16 PM on January 7, 2017
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May you find comfort in your memories of quin.
posted by NoraCharles at 10:22 PM on January 7, 2017
May you find comfort in your memories of quin.
posted by NoraCharles at 10:22 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by Joseph Gurl at 11:16 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by Joseph Gurl at 11:16 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by oceanjesse at 11:19 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by oceanjesse at 11:19 PM on January 7, 2017
I still remember the smile I got when I read this comment quin made about one of my comments.
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posted by RichardP at 11:34 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
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posted by RichardP at 11:34 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
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posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 11:51 PM on January 7, 2017
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 11:51 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by she's not there at 12:19 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by she's not there at 12:19 AM on January 8, 2017
My sincere condolences, [insert clever name here].
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posted by romakimmy at 12:41 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by romakimmy at 12:41 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by misteraitch at 2:07 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by misteraitch at 2:07 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by Trivia Newton John at 3:06 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by Trivia Newton John at 3:06 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:42 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:42 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by Joe in Australia at 3:50 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:50 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by theappleonatree at 4:10 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by theappleonatree at 4:10 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by double block and bleed at 4:40 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by double block and bleed at 4:40 AM on January 8, 2017
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I'm so sorry for your loss [insert clever name here]; my condoleances for your loss to you, his family and friends.
posted by MartinWisse at 5:27 AM on January 8, 2017
I'm so sorry for your loss [insert clever name here]; my condoleances for your loss to you, his family and friends.
posted by MartinWisse at 5:27 AM on January 8, 2017
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I, too, loved all of his animal-related stories, including the one in which he described accidentally becoming a birder. I am so sorry, [insert clever name here].
posted by Hellgirl at 5:47 AM on January 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
I, too, loved all of his animal-related stories, including the one in which he described accidentally becoming a birder. I am so sorry, [insert clever name here].
posted by Hellgirl at 5:47 AM on January 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
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I am so sorry [insert clever name here]. Peace and hugs to you.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:58 AM on January 8, 2017
I am so sorry [insert clever name here]. Peace and hugs to you.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:58 AM on January 8, 2017
Oh, God, I have no words for this, which is no surprise to me. I never know the right thing to say, so I'll let quin speak: He made his first-ever Mefi post because he felt a thread needed "a bit more crow-centric information," loved all the animals (despite any rumors to the contrary) regardless of their sins, would snuggle the fuck out of a bear, dreamed of house goats, knew the correct amount of cats (if not sharing the toilet), and as a child once had a deceased rabbit as a short-term pet. Also as a young child, he was taught some principles of self defense, and then learned as a teen that he and his friends were the satanists all along. He was interested in teaching the nuances of global warming, and would sometimes speak in his "here voice" when not here. When he was here, he was confident of his favorites. Mostly. He really, really loved Terry Pratchett and his non-fiction series Discworld, and would have made an excellent crazy uncle.
I'll stop now, but there's much, much more to read in the old comments; I didn't even scratch the surface, or get the bestest of the best, or cover even the basics of who quinn was – as much as that is possible via this medium (not very, but we've had some fun trying). We will miss you quin, it was great to have you with us while we did. Many, many hugs to [insert clever name here], we're here for you if we can help at all.
posted by taz (staff) at 6:13 AM on January 8, 2017 [74 favorites]
I'll stop now, but there's much, much more to read in the old comments; I didn't even scratch the surface, or get the bestest of the best, or cover even the basics of who quinn was – as much as that is possible via this medium (not very, but we've had some fun trying). We will miss you quin, it was great to have you with us while we did. Many, many hugs to [insert clever name here], we're here for you if we can help at all.
posted by taz (staff) at 6:13 AM on January 8, 2017 [74 favorites]
Thank you taz
Deepest condolences [insert clever name here] and to the rest of his family an non-mefite friends.
posted by readery at 6:26 AM on January 8, 2017
Deepest condolences [insert clever name here] and to the rest of his family an non-mefite friends.
posted by readery at 6:26 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 6:40 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 6:40 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by Defying Gravity at 7:00 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by Defying Gravity at 7:00 AM on January 8, 2017
I am so sorry for your loss, [insert clever name here]. Thinking of you.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 7:08 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 7:08 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by sciencegeek at 7:35 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by sciencegeek at 7:35 AM on January 8, 2017
I'm so sorry. I know my MetaFilter family only virtually and yet I feel like we are some type of family. I know all of you by your questions and comments and I did so enjoy quin's presence.
In August, he had this perfect answer about a sudden onset of self-consciousness:
I don't have a good word for it, but I used to experience it all the time, usually when I was walking in a public place I'd get all self conscious about if I was walking "right" and suddenly my legs would feel wooden and stilted. If it occurred to me that anyone might be watching and aware of this, the feeling would get exponentially worse.
It passed with time (I call that getting old and not giving a fuck cure-all) but in retrospect, I suppose the best description I could use was Self Reinforcing Consciousness of Awkwardness.
It probably sounds cooler in German.
It was such a perfect comment. Depression is a nasty fucking liar and I want to punch it in the face.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 7:47 AM on January 8, 2017 [21 favorites]
In August, he had this perfect answer about a sudden onset of self-consciousness:
I don't have a good word for it, but I used to experience it all the time, usually when I was walking in a public place I'd get all self conscious about if I was walking "right" and suddenly my legs would feel wooden and stilted. If it occurred to me that anyone might be watching and aware of this, the feeling would get exponentially worse.
It passed with time (I call that getting old and not giving a fuck cure-all) but in retrospect, I suppose the best description I could use was Self Reinforcing Consciousness of Awkwardness.
It probably sounds cooler in German.
It was such a perfect comment. Depression is a nasty fucking liar and I want to punch it in the face.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 7:47 AM on January 8, 2017 [21 favorites]
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posted by pernoctalian at 8:17 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by pernoctalian at 8:17 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by porn in the woods at 8:59 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by porn in the woods at 8:59 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by From Bklyn at 9:04 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by From Bklyn at 9:04 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by zombieflanders at 9:21 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by zombieflanders at 9:21 AM on January 8, 2017
This internet stranger will miss him. So, so sorry.
posted by mudpuppie at 9:38 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by mudpuppie at 9:38 AM on January 8, 2017
Awful news. I did not know him, but his life enriched mine and many others through his comments on Metafilter. [insert clever name here], I cannot express how sorry I am for your loss.
posted by biogeo at 9:43 AM on January 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by biogeo at 9:43 AM on January 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm so sorry, [insert clever name here]. He was loved. You are loved.
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posted by Devils Rancher at 9:53 AM on January 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by Devils Rancher at 9:53 AM on January 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by deludingmyself at 9:55 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by deludingmyself at 9:55 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by wheek wheek wheek at 10:23 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by wheek wheek wheek at 10:23 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by eyeballkid at 10:39 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by eyeballkid at 10:39 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by skycrashesdown at 11:48 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by skycrashesdown at 11:48 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by warriorqueen at 11:49 AM on January 8, 2017
posted by warriorqueen at 11:49 AM on January 8, 2017
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posted by threetwentytwo at 12:07 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by threetwentytwo at 12:07 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by EndsOfInvention at 12:14 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by EndsOfInvention at 12:14 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by (Over) Thinking at 12:16 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by (Over) Thinking at 12:16 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by Twicketface at 12:22 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by Twicketface at 12:22 PM on January 8, 2017
So sorry for your loss, [insert clever name here]. I will miss quin's contributions here.
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posted by grouse at 12:35 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by grouse at 12:35 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by mixedmetaphors at 12:39 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by mixedmetaphors at 12:39 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by SpaceWarp13 at 1:02 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 1:02 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by Lil Bit of Pepper at 1:04 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by Lil Bit of Pepper at 1:04 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by contrariwise at 1:08 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by contrariwise at 1:08 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by metaquarry at 2:02 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by metaquarry at 2:02 PM on January 8, 2017
We are not strangers. Love to all of you.
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posted by Slarty Bartfast at 2:15 PM on January 8, 2017 [6 favorites]
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posted by Slarty Bartfast at 2:15 PM on January 8, 2017 [6 favorites]
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posted by skye.dancer at 3:13 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by skye.dancer at 3:13 PM on January 8, 2017
I am so, so sorry for your terrible loss, [insert clever name here].
posted by drlith at 4:07 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by drlith at 4:07 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by one teak forest at 4:39 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by one teak forest at 4:39 PM on January 8, 2017
Deepest sympathies, [insert clever name here] and condolences to family and friends.
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posted by Doktor Zed at 4:58 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by Doktor Zed at 4:58 PM on January 8, 2017
I'm very sorry for your loss, [insert clever name here]. My condolences to you and your loved ones.
posted by TwoStride at 5:04 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by TwoStride at 5:04 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by Chrysostom at 7:09 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by Chrysostom at 7:09 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by msbubbaclees at 7:11 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by msbubbaclees at 7:11 PM on January 8, 2017
Came back to add one of my favorites from quin: Go Mr Bunny. Kill that snake, which features a mother rabbit relentlessly defending her kits against a snake. I shared it with both my now adults kids last summer and think this video is so much more representative of "mother love" than that "Runaway Bunny" book I read to them when they were little.
Since this was posted, I've read and reread several of quin's posts and comments. He will, indeed, be missed.
posted by she's not there at 7:18 PM on January 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
Since this was posted, I've read and reread several of quin's posts and comments. He will, indeed, be missed.
posted by she's not there at 7:18 PM on January 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
My sincere condolences to all who loved him. :(
posted by Halo in reverse at 7:45 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by Halo in reverse at 7:45 PM on January 8, 2017
I am heartbroken that this insidious disease has taken another life. My condolences to quin's family and his friends, and especially to [insert clever name here]. You're doing something brave and important by being forthright, and I appreciate it. I'm so sorry.
posted by houseofdanie at 8:11 PM on January 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by houseofdanie at 8:11 PM on January 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
.
quin's comments (1, 2) in the George Michael post stuck with me for days afterwards.
posted by Recliner of Rage at 8:29 PM on January 8, 2017 [8 favorites]
quin's comments (1, 2) in the George Michael post stuck with me for days afterwards.
posted by Recliner of Rage at 8:29 PM on January 8, 2017 [8 favorites]
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posted by sevenofspades at 8:36 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by sevenofspades at 8:36 PM on January 8, 2017
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posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 11:36 PM on January 8, 2017
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 11:36 PM on January 8, 2017
WHAT
THE
FUCK
QUIN!?
:( Sorry, man. I needed that.
I've re-enabled my account to say specifically this: If anyone needs someone to talk to, I'm here.
posted by loquacious at 12:32 AM on January 9, 2017 [22 favorites]
THE
FUCK
QUIN!?
:( Sorry, man. I needed that.
I've re-enabled my account to say specifically this: If anyone needs someone to talk to, I'm here.
posted by loquacious at 12:32 AM on January 9, 2017 [22 favorites]
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posted by Panthalassa at 1:39 AM on January 9, 2017
posted by Panthalassa at 1:39 AM on January 9, 2017
I am so saddened to hear this. All the hugs, [insert clever name here].
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posted by Fig at 4:47 AM on January 9, 2017
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posted by Fig at 4:47 AM on January 9, 2017
So sorry, [insert clever name here].
The loss of quin affects us all.
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posted by tel3path at 4:58 AM on January 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
The loss of quin affects us all.
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posted by tel3path at 4:58 AM on January 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 7:43 AM on January 9, 2017
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 7:43 AM on January 9, 2017
Been trying to figure out a way to articulate my condolences for a couple days now...
The first time I met quin, he came to an IRL I had called at a local craft beer joint. After we had had a few rounds, he gamely invited me and the other attendees for a private tour of the makerspace where he was a member, which just so happened to be up the street from the bar. It was kind of ill-lit and ominous-looking on the outside, all buzzing spotlights and dark corners, and as he unlocked the door to let us in to the building full of intimidating machinery, he cheerfully said, "Don't worry, I'm not an axe murderer!" After that we MeMailed about how annoying and bleak it felt to have intractable depression, because even though we lived 15 minutes apart it was so much easier to write than talk about it in person. And now I am crying again, like I have been every time I re-remember that he has joined the brigade of creative, talented, smart, funny, kind people who just weren't able to outrun the darkness in this life. He is and will be so very missed.
Love and warmth to you, [insert clever name here]. I hope you can feel us all holding you in our hearts.
posted by amnesia and magnets at 7:50 AM on January 9, 2017 [23 favorites]
The first time I met quin, he came to an IRL I had called at a local craft beer joint. After we had had a few rounds, he gamely invited me and the other attendees for a private tour of the makerspace where he was a member, which just so happened to be up the street from the bar. It was kind of ill-lit and ominous-looking on the outside, all buzzing spotlights and dark corners, and as he unlocked the door to let us in to the building full of intimidating machinery, he cheerfully said, "Don't worry, I'm not an axe murderer!" After that we MeMailed about how annoying and bleak it felt to have intractable depression, because even though we lived 15 minutes apart it was so much easier to write than talk about it in person. And now I am crying again, like I have been every time I re-remember that he has joined the brigade of creative, talented, smart, funny, kind people who just weren't able to outrun the darkness in this life. He is and will be so very missed.
Love and warmth to you, [insert clever name here]. I hope you can feel us all holding you in our hearts.
posted by amnesia and magnets at 7:50 AM on January 9, 2017 [23 favorites]
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posted by Excommunicated Cardinal at 8:20 AM on January 9, 2017
posted by Excommunicated Cardinal at 8:20 AM on January 9, 2017
I am so sorry [insert clever name here]. Heartbreaking.
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posted by allthinky at 8:22 AM on January 9, 2017
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posted by allthinky at 8:22 AM on January 9, 2017
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posted by lazaruslong at 8:51 AM on January 9, 2017
posted by lazaruslong at 8:51 AM on January 9, 2017
.
Sorrier than I can say.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 8:54 AM on January 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
Sorrier than I can say.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 8:54 AM on January 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by Mouse Army at 8:58 AM on January 9, 2017
posted by Mouse Army at 8:58 AM on January 9, 2017
I don't follow usernames like some folks here obviously do. I know a very few well enough to have a decent idea what the person behind the keyboard resembles perhaps. The rest fall into a few categories, roughly, as such,
A) I haven't heard of that username before,
B) I have seen/read that username and their comments are enjoyable, thoughtful, and worth my while and finally,
C) Everyone else, basically the opposite of category B.
quin was firmly in the B category, I am sad to hear the news. May he find peace.
.
posted by RolandOfEld at 9:02 AM on January 9, 2017
A) I haven't heard of that username before,
B) I have seen/read that username and their comments are enjoyable, thoughtful, and worth my while and finally,
C) Everyone else, basically the opposite of category B.
quin was firmly in the B category, I am sad to hear the news. May he find peace.
.
posted by RolandOfEld at 9:02 AM on January 9, 2017
I am so sorry. He was a good one.
posted by Capt. Renault at 9:22 AM on January 9, 2017
posted by Capt. Renault at 9:22 AM on January 9, 2017
Quin was a good egg, and the word will be sorrier without him. I've appreciated many of his comments on the site throughout the years, and will miss his insight terribly.
Many deep condolences and sympathies to [insert clever name here].
posted by PearlRose at 9:57 AM on January 9, 2017
Many deep condolences and sympathies to [insert clever name here].
posted by PearlRose at 9:57 AM on January 9, 2017
So sorry to hear this and sorry for your loss.
posted by TwoWordReview at 10:18 AM on January 9, 2017
posted by TwoWordReview at 10:18 AM on January 9, 2017
.
I was on on a Gishwhes team with him (and [insert clever name here]) years ago - the experience was a lot of fun, and made me look out for his username. It was a joy to see something from him.
I'm so sorry to hear this, and sorry for your loss [insert clever name here]
posted by dinty_moore at 11:32 AM on January 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
I was on on a Gishwhes team with him (and [insert clever name here]) years ago - the experience was a lot of fun, and made me look out for his username. It was a joy to see something from him.
I'm so sorry to hear this, and sorry for your loss [insert clever name here]
posted by dinty_moore at 11:32 AM on January 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by FirstMateKate at 12:05 PM on January 9, 2017
posted by FirstMateKate at 12:05 PM on January 9, 2017
Oh this makes me sick with sadness and loss. I valued and cared about quin, though I only knew him here. I feel the same way about you, [insert clever name here]. Love and hugs and good thoughts to you and quin's other real life friends and family. We will miss quin a ton on MetaFilter.
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posted by bearwife at 12:18 PM on January 9, 2017 [3 favorites]
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posted by bearwife at 12:18 PM on January 9, 2017 [3 favorites]
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posted by RedOrGreen at 12:41 PM on January 9, 2017
posted by RedOrGreen at 12:41 PM on January 9, 2017
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posted by grumpybear69 at 12:47 PM on January 9, 2017
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:47 PM on January 9, 2017
I really fucking hate these sorts of announcements and I would like to not have to see them here anymore. You are all On Notice.
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posted by phearlez at 12:47 PM on January 9, 2017 [3 favorites]
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posted by phearlez at 12:47 PM on January 9, 2017 [3 favorites]
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posted by brilliantine at 2:01 PM on January 9, 2017
posted by brilliantine at 2:01 PM on January 9, 2017
Terrible. My condolences.
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:17 PM on January 9, 2017
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:17 PM on January 9, 2017
quin you are loved.
[insert clever name here] you are loved. In whatever small way, if I can help you friend, please let me know.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:55 PM on January 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
[insert clever name here] you are loved. In whatever small way, if I can help you friend, please let me know.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:55 PM on January 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
How tragic! One of quin's recent comments--in the George Michael thread, where he mentioned his love of music covers--made me think about putting together an AskMe on that topic, for I love them too. And then I thought that since quin had always seemed like a really nice guy, that I could just send him a memail and ask for recommendations. I never got around to either endeavor, but now I know exactly who I'll be thinking about whenever I hear an interesting new cover.
Heartfelt condolences to [insert clever name here] and everyone else who will miss quin.
posted by carmicha at 7:17 PM on January 9, 2017
Heartfelt condolences to [insert clever name here] and everyone else who will miss quin.
posted by carmicha at 7:17 PM on January 9, 2017
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posted by the return of the thin white sock at 7:43 PM on January 9, 2017
posted by the return of the thin white sock at 7:43 PM on January 9, 2017
This is terrible. Losing him has made Metafilter darker and emptier for me. He was one of the first people whose contributions I really started looking out for.
posted by jamjam at 8:51 PM on January 9, 2017
posted by jamjam at 8:51 PM on January 9, 2017
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posted by bitter-girl.com at 10:05 PM on January 9, 2017
posted by bitter-girl.com at 10:05 PM on January 9, 2017
This is terrible. I didn't notice quin because I don't read about music much. After I saw this thread I checked out his Twitter account and saw a tweet that made me laugh out loud and then immediately want to cry because quin was clearly a wonderful soul, however wounded he felt. I cannot imagine how badly you feel, [insert clever name here], I just know it's awful. My condolences to you and your family. My condolences to his friends and the people here on MetaFilter who will miss him.
For absolutely sure, everyone needs a hug. Especially [insert clever name here].
.
posted by Bella Donna at 10:30 PM on January 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
For absolutely sure, everyone needs a hug. Especially [insert clever name here].
.
posted by Bella Donna at 10:30 PM on January 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
Oh no. This makes my heart hurt. I am so sorry, [insert clever name here], what a terrible loss this is. I am sending you my warm wishes and love. Please take care of yourself.
posted by triggerfinger at 10:45 PM on January 9, 2017
posted by triggerfinger at 10:45 PM on January 9, 2017
.
I'm so, so sorry. I will be thinking of you, [insert clever name here], and I will remember quin fondly.
If anyone thinks talking to an Internet stranger will help, I am here for you.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:31 AM on January 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm so, so sorry. I will be thinking of you, [insert clever name here], and I will remember quin fondly.
If anyone thinks talking to an Internet stranger will help, I am here for you.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:31 AM on January 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by augustimagination at 10:48 AM on January 10, 2017
posted by augustimagination at 10:48 AM on January 10, 2017
Oh, I am so sad to hear this. All my love to you [insert clever name here].
.
posted by Sophie1 at 3:50 PM on January 10, 2017
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posted by Sophie1 at 3:50 PM on January 10, 2017
I know I knew quin on here the way you halfknow people on here, but I don't know why and don't know how I could find out, I just have a happy association with his name. Instead of whatever lovely thing he must have posted that makes me happy when I see his name, here is something lovely he posted that I just watched: http://www.metafilter.com/149358/Movement-in-the-Sky. It's okay that it's Pachelbel, and it's okay that starlings are invasive. It is okay to sit and watch a beautiful invasive species and cry and listen to some Pachelbel. I am sorry, all who really knew him, and all who only halfknew, and all who never got a chance to know.
posted by Don Pepino at 4:25 PM on January 10, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by Don Pepino at 4:25 PM on January 10, 2017 [8 favorites]
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posted by chicainthecity at 7:28 PM on January 10, 2017
posted by chicainthecity at 7:28 PM on January 10, 2017
This is heartbreaking news. My deepest condolences, [insert clever name here].
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:59 PM on January 10, 2017
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:59 PM on January 10, 2017
Awful news. I remember his more recent comments, and I know yours very well, [insert clever name here]. Hugs and prayers to you and your friends and family.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 9:13 PM on January 10, 2017
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 9:13 PM on January 10, 2017
.
posted by nenequesadilla at 9:33 PM on January 10, 2017
posted by nenequesadilla at 9:33 PM on January 10, 2017
I also have trouble categorizing MeFi'ers in rememberable ways, but looking back he was definitely a "what I come to MetaFilter for" person, a standard-bearer. I remembered his George Michael comments as touching on my unabashed love of raw talent, and looking back further it appears he was one of those raw talent people himself. Game recognize game, you'll be missed.
Tonight is also the 5th anniversary of one of my dearest friends taking his own life, so take care, people. None of us signed up for this shit, so please, please, don't feel like you need to do your time in solitary.
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posted by rhizome at 9:42 PM on January 10, 2017 [12 favorites]
Tonight is also the 5th anniversary of one of my dearest friends taking his own life, so take care, people. None of us signed up for this shit, so please, please, don't feel like you need to do your time in solitary.
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posted by rhizome at 9:42 PM on January 10, 2017 [12 favorites]
Oh fuckety fuck fuck. Fuck that black dog depression.
Fuck.
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posted by Floydd at 1:30 AM on January 11, 2017
Fuck.
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posted by Floydd at 1:30 AM on January 11, 2017
I am so very sorry. Depression is a filthy, lying sack of shit.
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posted by fluffy battle kitten at 4:08 AM on January 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by fluffy battle kitten at 4:08 AM on January 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 7:56 AM on January 11, 2017
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 7:56 AM on January 11, 2017
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posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 8:39 AM on January 11, 2017
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 8:39 AM on January 11, 2017
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posted by Uther Bentrazor at 10:38 AM on January 11, 2017
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 10:38 AM on January 11, 2017
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posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:04 AM on January 11, 2017
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:04 AM on January 11, 2017
This is the hardest conversation, and you couldn't stay to listen. So you can't think I'm talking to you. One can leave the world at anywhere, just punch a hole into it and go. But it wasn't just your world, and now we have to stitch up the hole in your quiet. I won't throw threads down that hole to follow; I'll stitch it up on this side. I'll keep love here, here's where we need to sew. And the stitches will always show, but that's not the pattern that you made. You made your cloth on this side, that's why there's still love with us enough to say, too late: don't go.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:34 PM on January 11, 2017 [23 favorites]
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:34 PM on January 11, 2017 [23 favorites]
My deepest condolences.
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:56 PM on January 11, 2017
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:56 PM on January 11, 2017
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posted by Countess Elena at 3:21 PM on January 11, 2017
posted by Countess Elena at 3:21 PM on January 11, 2017
I'm so sorry for your loss, [insert clever name here] and for those who have lost quin as a friend.
The Black HDog has a lot to answer for.
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posted by BlueHorse at 3:29 PM on January 11, 2017
The Black HDog has a lot to answer for.
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posted by BlueHorse at 3:29 PM on January 11, 2017
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I'm sorry I don't have words fitting enough for loss like this. Wishing peace to your heart, [insert clever name here].
posted by vers at 3:58 PM on January 11, 2017
I'm sorry I don't have words fitting enough for loss like this. Wishing peace to your heart, [insert clever name here].
posted by vers at 3:58 PM on January 11, 2017
Ach, I'm really sorry. I'll miss his contributions, and my thoughts go out to you, [insert clever name here]. xo
posted by OmieWise at 5:04 PM on January 11, 2017
posted by OmieWise at 5:04 PM on January 11, 2017
.
I have felt the black dog nipping at my heels, seen it cling by the teeth to friends bodies. Sometimes shaken off, sometimes not. I'm so sorry.
posted by ApathyGirl at 8:39 PM on January 11, 2017 [6 favorites]
I have felt the black dog nipping at my heels, seen it cling by the teeth to friends bodies. Sometimes shaken off, sometimes not. I'm so sorry.
posted by ApathyGirl at 8:39 PM on January 11, 2017 [6 favorites]
We both joined MeFi in August 2002. His username is so familiar to me after all these years; his comments and posts always reinforced why I love this community so much. What a sad loss. I'm so sorry [insert clever name here].
.
posted by gatorae at 9:12 PM on January 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by gatorae at 9:12 PM on January 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
quin's wife asked me to post an IRL for his memorial service tomorrow. Link here - all mefites welcome.
posted by AFABulous at 1:02 PM on January 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by AFABulous at 1:02 PM on January 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
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posted by Halloween Jack at 1:54 PM on January 13, 2017
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:54 PM on January 13, 2017
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posted by i feel possessed at 2:36 PM on January 13, 2017
posted by i feel possessed at 2:36 PM on January 13, 2017
I am so sorry for your loss and quin's pain. You have been in my thoughts.
I want to thank you for being honest about what killed quin. I want to thank quin for being brave enough to share what he was battling. The stigma is here and it is so real.
At the beginning of 2017 I decided to "come out" to friends and associates and tell them that I have had depression for a long time, that I had had a serious relapse, and that I had spent most of 2016 drowning, not able to care for myself, just concentrating on trying to keep myself alive. The response was an overwhelming, deafening, and devastating silence.
Maybe I have bad judgment in selecting friends and associates. Maybe people are not who I thought they were. I don't know. But I do know the reaction was so different when my mother had cancer a couple years ago. The warmth and the support was there, even from people I didn't know very well. People said things. They ACKNOWLEDGED it. Even when I had my damn stupid sports accidents last year - a minor bike accident, a nagging knee injury that sidelined my running and for which I had a small outpatient surgery, people asked how I was. Many months later even, they remembered and they asked. I will tell you that about this no one ever asks.
Part of the reason I relapsed is that I didn't take the disease seriously. The signs of my descent were there, and I denied them. This is never something I would do to someone else. I always assumed the reason for this was the disease itself, as it's an insidious trickster. By the end you believe depression is not a treatable disease but a state of being with no end or relief. You may also believe you are a worthless piece of garbage loved by no one. But the self-abuse I heaped on myself, rather than get treatment, was a laundry list of every stigma and stereotype you could come up with: Lazy. Self-indulgent. Ungrateful. Weak. Needy. Downer. An off-putting hot mess. I felt embarrassed and ashamed that I couldn't get myself under control. I told you, it's a trickster.
"Night falls fast." Rest in peace, quin.
posted by unannihilated at 9:42 PM on January 13, 2017 [17 favorites]
I want to thank you for being honest about what killed quin. I want to thank quin for being brave enough to share what he was battling. The stigma is here and it is so real.
At the beginning of 2017 I decided to "come out" to friends and associates and tell them that I have had depression for a long time, that I had had a serious relapse, and that I had spent most of 2016 drowning, not able to care for myself, just concentrating on trying to keep myself alive. The response was an overwhelming, deafening, and devastating silence.
Maybe I have bad judgment in selecting friends and associates. Maybe people are not who I thought they were. I don't know. But I do know the reaction was so different when my mother had cancer a couple years ago. The warmth and the support was there, even from people I didn't know very well. People said things. They ACKNOWLEDGED it. Even when I had my damn stupid sports accidents last year - a minor bike accident, a nagging knee injury that sidelined my running and for which I had a small outpatient surgery, people asked how I was. Many months later even, they remembered and they asked. I will tell you that about this no one ever asks.
Part of the reason I relapsed is that I didn't take the disease seriously. The signs of my descent were there, and I denied them. This is never something I would do to someone else. I always assumed the reason for this was the disease itself, as it's an insidious trickster. By the end you believe depression is not a treatable disease but a state of being with no end or relief. You may also believe you are a worthless piece of garbage loved by no one. But the self-abuse I heaped on myself, rather than get treatment, was a laundry list of every stigma and stereotype you could come up with: Lazy. Self-indulgent. Ungrateful. Weak. Needy. Downer. An off-putting hot mess. I felt embarrassed and ashamed that I couldn't get myself under control. I told you, it's a trickster.
"Night falls fast." Rest in peace, quin.
posted by unannihilated at 9:42 PM on January 13, 2017 [17 favorites]
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posted by apartment dweller at 11:10 AM on January 14, 2017
posted by apartment dweller at 11:10 AM on January 14, 2017
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posted by Joey Michaels at 5:52 PM on January 14, 2017
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:52 PM on January 14, 2017
I am learning who he was through his old posts. It's a strange way to mourn someone, but he was...he was one of those people that could bring joy to others with a comment.
As someone else said, I am so sorry for his pain. And for yours, [insert clever name here].
posted by schadenfrau at 3:26 PM on January 15, 2017 [2 favorites]
As someone else said, I am so sorry for his pain. And for yours, [insert clever name here].
posted by schadenfrau at 3:26 PM on January 15, 2017 [2 favorites]
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posted by mediareport at 8:55 PM on January 15, 2017
posted by mediareport at 8:55 PM on January 15, 2017
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posted by cranberrymonger at 10:35 PM on January 15, 2017
posted by cranberrymonger at 10:35 PM on January 15, 2017
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posted by infinite intimation at 8:56 AM on January 25, 2017
posted by infinite intimation at 8:56 AM on January 25, 2017
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I also want to say: if anyone is in crisis or needs to talk, today or any day, please reach out. You can reach the mods at the contact form 24 hours a day, or there are many online crisis chat services listed at the ThereIsHelp wiki (compiled by Mefites to help fellow community members in exactly this situation). In the US, call 800-273-TALK (8255). For non-US phone numbers, here's a list of hotlines by country, or check the There Is Help page.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 12:01 PM on January 7, 2017 [39 favorites]