2 Hyuck 2 Hyucking February 17, 2019 5:14 PM Subscribe
So our first experimental Hyucking Hyuck thread worked out pretty well, and then a month went by and it closed. So: here we are with round two! This is a dedicated space for riffing and jokes, designed in particular to take some strain of the overcrowded US politics catch-all threads.
Reiterating the guidelines from the first one:
Reiterating the guidelines from the first one:
- The whole point of this is to reduce moderation load, so use good judgement, don't get into fights, and generally try to be the adults in the room even though things are gonna get silly.
- If you want to tie a remark specifically to the current megathread, the timestamp of every comment is a permalink directly to that comment.
- This is specifically intended for the current political shitshow - we have a various other venues for cheerful humor or chatting.
This is legitimately one of the best things I’ve ever seen on twitter:
@NickLutsko
Struggling to get through "The Entertainer"
posted by chappell, ambrose at 5:49 PM on February 17, 2019 [27 favorites]
@NickLutsko
Struggling to get through "The Entertainer"
posted by chappell, ambrose at 5:49 PM on February 17, 2019 [27 favorites]
This thread is so fresh, the takes are still hot.
posted by Marticus at 8:21 PM on February 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Marticus at 8:21 PM on February 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
"The question lingering over McCabe's interview, though, is why he's throwing Rod Rosenstein under a bus" - Doktor Zed (in the main thread).
In UK sporting terms this is known as a "'Come and get me' plea".
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 8:58 PM on February 17, 2019
In UK sporting terms this is known as a "'Come and get me' plea".
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 8:58 PM on February 17, 2019
Tell me if I'm doing this wrong.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 8:58 PM on February 17, 2019
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 8:58 PM on February 17, 2019
tonight I released
Post-Capitalism and Sim City 2K
cause we got to have SOME way out of this mess
posted by The Whelk at 10:24 PM on February 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
Post-Capitalism and Sim City 2K
cause we got to have SOME way out of this mess
posted by The Whelk at 10:24 PM on February 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
Well, Lyndon Larouche is no longer running for President.
posted by loquacious at 11:27 PM on February 17, 2019 [11 favorites]
posted by loquacious at 11:27 PM on February 17, 2019 [11 favorites]
we don't know that for sure.
2020 should have the first Occult Manifestation candidate
posted by The Whelk at 11:38 PM on February 17, 2019 [12 favorites]
2020 should have the first Occult Manifestation candidate
posted by The Whelk at 11:38 PM on February 17, 2019 [12 favorites]
Dunno that it’s the first...
posted by prismatic7 at 3:16 AM on February 18, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by prismatic7 at 3:16 AM on February 18, 2019 [1 favorite]
Horace Greeley would like a word with you.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 5:20 AM on February 18, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Huffy Puffy at 5:20 AM on February 18, 2019 [1 favorite]
Just one?
posted by loquacious at 5:28 AM on February 18, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by loquacious at 5:28 AM on February 18, 2019 [1 favorite]
Hello from the rapidly disintegrating Disunited Kingdom of Great Britain and soft/hard bordered Northern Ireland. What has the EU ever done for us (AD 33 edition)?
posted by Wordshore at 5:59 AM on February 18, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Wordshore at 5:59 AM on February 18, 2019 [4 favorites]
So, look, I know the Brexit thing is terrible, and it looks like the Labour splitters are an ineffectual bunch.
Still: Penistone? Really, Britain?
posted by Huffy Puffy at 6:29 AM on February 18, 2019 [2 favorites]
Still: Penistone? Really, Britain?
posted by Huffy Puffy at 6:29 AM on February 18, 2019 [2 favorites]
Twitter thread by Anthony Philipson quoting Nate White. Nothing really new, but I love the language, and my new dream is someone reading this to Donald Trump (and possibly explaining it to him).
Choice quotes:
"Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?[...]
[F]or us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.
But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is - his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.
Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.
And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults - he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.
There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.[...]
So the fact that a significant minority - perhaps a third - of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think 'Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:
* Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.
* You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.
This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss."
posted by PontifexPrimus at 6:57 AM on February 18, 2019 [15 favorites]
Choice quotes:
"Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?[...]
[F]or us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.
But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is - his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.
Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.
And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults - he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.
There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.[...]
So the fact that a significant minority - perhaps a third - of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think 'Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:
* Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.
* You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.
This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss."
posted by PontifexPrimus at 6:57 AM on February 18, 2019 [15 favorites]
Is there a plan to add a link to this thread on the US Politics sidebar?
posted by jedicus at 7:20 AM on February 18, 2019
posted by jedicus at 7:20 AM on February 18, 2019
Still: Penistone? Really, Britain?
I recently visted friends not far from here, in Northamptonshire. They grew immune to comments about their place name a long time ago.
posted by Wordshore at 7:24 AM on February 18, 2019 [12 favorites]
I recently visted friends not far from here, in Northamptonshire. They grew immune to comments about their place name a long time ago.
posted by Wordshore at 7:24 AM on February 18, 2019 [12 favorites]
Still: Penistone? Really, Britain?
The guy who set up and cleared away the science experiments in my secondary school was from Penistone (pronounced “pen-us-tun”), and once mentioned to us that in his youth he’d been in a popular local band called the Penis Tones.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 7:29 AM on February 18, 2019 [7 favorites]
The guy who set up and cleared away the science experiments in my secondary school was from Penistone (pronounced “pen-us-tun”), and once mentioned to us that in his youth he’d been in a popular local band called the Penis Tones.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 7:29 AM on February 18, 2019 [7 favorites]
In defiance of this "so-called" "president" I am at work instead of celebrating Presidents this Presidents Day! Take! That!
Oh wait, no, I work at a start up that ignores holidays. ha ha
posted by Emmy Rae at 7:33 AM on February 18, 2019 [4 favorites]
Oh wait, no, I work at a start up that ignores holidays. ha ha
posted by Emmy Rae at 7:33 AM on February 18, 2019 [4 favorites]
Isn't it actually called Wish We Had a President Day?
posted by yoga at 7:40 AM on February 18, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by yoga at 7:40 AM on February 18, 2019 [5 favorites]
This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.
Racism makes even the worst white guy a safer thing than even the best non-white guy. Obama winning really did trigger a lot of white people's (barely) underground racism, and enough of them decided to Go Full and Out Racist that it helped Trump.
Well and then the Russians did their thing. We are still figuring out what that is.
And the media, loving a circus and so unable to resist a clown, and having always hated Hilary Clinton for reasons that seem to go beyond mere misogyny to some sort of existential darkness of the soul which continues to mystify me, did their bit too.
And here we are.
posted by emjaybee at 8:17 AM on February 18, 2019 [9 favorites]
Racism makes even the worst white guy a safer thing than even the best non-white guy. Obama winning really did trigger a lot of white people's (barely) underground racism, and enough of them decided to Go Full and Out Racist that it helped Trump.
Well and then the Russians did their thing. We are still figuring out what that is.
And the media, loving a circus and so unable to resist a clown, and having always hated Hilary Clinton for reasons that seem to go beyond mere misogyny to some sort of existential darkness of the soul which continues to mystify me, did their bit too.
And here we are.
posted by emjaybee at 8:17 AM on February 18, 2019 [9 favorites]
Still: Penistone? Really, Britain?
Stewart Lee on British place names.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:31 AM on February 18, 2019 [7 favorites]
Stewart Lee on British place names.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:31 AM on February 18, 2019 [7 favorites]
stealing this joke from elsewhere, but... I too am disappointed to wake up on Presidents Day and not find a new president under the tree.
posted by twoplussix at 9:08 AM on February 18, 2019 [26 favorites]
posted by twoplussix at 9:08 AM on February 18, 2019 [26 favorites]
How to make President's Day cupcakes this year.
posted by MrVisible at 9:48 AM on February 18, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by MrVisible at 9:48 AM on February 18, 2019 [3 favorites]
* You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.
This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss."
I am 50, so I have been an adult since the late 80s, lets say. I am from NJ, so I remember Trump from the 80s, 90s etc., the terrible things he said and did, the way he made it VERY CLEAR exactly what kind of person he was. and he's never stopped. It really made me very angry that people who have known his for decades still voted for him, somehow thinking he would be anything other than what he has always been???? its the only truth he's ever told.
also the fictitious Penistone Crags feature in Wuthering Heights.
posted by supermedusa at 10:51 AM on February 18, 2019 [15 favorites]
This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss."
I am 50, so I have been an adult since the late 80s, lets say. I am from NJ, so I remember Trump from the 80s, 90s etc., the terrible things he said and did, the way he made it VERY CLEAR exactly what kind of person he was. and he's never stopped. It really made me very angry that people who have known his for decades still voted for him, somehow thinking he would be anything other than what he has always been???? its the only truth he's ever told.
also the fictitious Penistone Crags feature in Wuthering Heights.
posted by supermedusa at 10:51 AM on February 18, 2019 [15 favorites]
Several days ago I posted a poll on Twitter asking people which Trump they thought would be arrested first:
a) Don Jr.
b) Jared & Ivanka
c) Eric
d) JUST CUFF ONE ALREADY.
Don Jr. got one vote and the other votes were all for option d).
I expected as much.
posted by orange swan at 11:46 AM on February 18, 2019 [10 favorites]
a) Don Jr.
b) Jared & Ivanka
c) Eric
d) JUST CUFF ONE ALREADY.
Don Jr. got one vote and the other votes were all for option d).
I expected as much.
posted by orange swan at 11:46 AM on February 18, 2019 [10 favorites]
I feel like the first trump arrest is a big hill, but the ones that follow will get easier and easier...so yeah, d)
posted by supermedusa at 12:18 PM on February 18, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by supermedusa at 12:18 PM on February 18, 2019 [1 favorite]
"Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?[...]
[F]or us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.
Boris Johnson had a seemingly open invite on Have I got news for you. Jimmy Carr's tax evasion never even really affected his popularity. If you have some wit and a sense of humor you can weather almost anything short of backing Brexit it seems.
posted by srboisvert at 1:29 PM on February 18, 2019
[F]or us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.
Boris Johnson had a seemingly open invite on Have I got news for you. Jimmy Carr's tax evasion never even really affected his popularity. If you have some wit and a sense of humor you can weather almost anything short of backing Brexit it seems.
posted by srboisvert at 1:29 PM on February 18, 2019
Oh god, we're going to have to have another painful national conversation about incandescent bulbs.
(from The Thread): The Department of Energy said in that it plans to undo two rules that were put in place in the final days of the Obama administration, which expanded the types of light bulbs subject to stricter efficiency standards under a George W. Bush-era law.
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:05 PM on February 18, 2019 [3 favorites]
(from The Thread): The Department of Energy said in that it plans to undo two rules that were put in place in the final days of the Obama administration, which expanded the types of light bulbs subject to stricter efficiency standards under a George W. Bush-era law.
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:05 PM on February 18, 2019 [3 favorites]
I quit smoking for this?!?
posted by ob1quixote at 9:40 PM on February 18, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by ob1quixote at 9:40 PM on February 18, 2019 [3 favorites]
Still: Penistone? Really, Britain?
Yorkshire's proud of the pinging of its pricks, from the tinkle of the smallest winkle to the click of a dick all the way to the striking of a sonorous dong. Whether it's the tune of a tallywhacker or an orchestra of organs, the tempo of the tool, music of the meat, twittering of the todgers or the whistling of the willies, the nobs of Yorkshire add up to a county thats pride is its Penistone.
posted by ambrosen at 2:10 AM on February 19, 2019 [10 favorites]
Yorkshire's proud of the pinging of its pricks, from the tinkle of the smallest winkle to the click of a dick all the way to the striking of a sonorous dong. Whether it's the tune of a tallywhacker or an orchestra of organs, the tempo of the tool, music of the meat, twittering of the todgers or the whistling of the willies, the nobs of Yorkshire add up to a county thats pride is its Penistone.
posted by ambrosen at 2:10 AM on February 19, 2019 [10 favorites]
Boris Johnson had a seemingly open invite on Have I got news for you. Jimmy Carr's tax evasion never even really affected his popularity. If you have some wit and a sense of humor you can weather almost anything short of backing Brexit it seems.
Well, and the Brits always love a somewhat witty, somewhat incompetent, ruthless creep. I can think of plenty of example so popular British entertainments that rest on ironic affection for ruthless, nasty, self-centered sorts, especially if they're at least superficially witty. David Brent, Humphrey Appleby, Jez and Mark, Malcolm Tucker, Patsy from AbFab, Alan B'Stard, the various Blackadders: it's all over British entertainment media, a sphere that covers Carr and is essentially Johnson's true home. See also: the weird way in which Peter Mandelson is (was?) celebrated for his ruthlessness, to the point of proudly embracing the "Dark Lord" nickname.
posted by kewb at 4:48 AM on February 19, 2019
Well, and the Brits always love a somewhat witty, somewhat incompetent, ruthless creep. I can think of plenty of example so popular British entertainments that rest on ironic affection for ruthless, nasty, self-centered sorts, especially if they're at least superficially witty. David Brent, Humphrey Appleby, Jez and Mark, Malcolm Tucker, Patsy from AbFab, Alan B'Stard, the various Blackadders: it's all over British entertainment media, a sphere that covers Carr and is essentially Johnson's true home. See also: the weird way in which Peter Mandelson is (was?) celebrated for his ruthlessness, to the point of proudly embracing the "Dark Lord" nickname.
posted by kewb at 4:48 AM on February 19, 2019
wry observation witty banter crude puni feel much better now, thanks!
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 5:30 AM on February 19, 2019 [7 favorites]
Stewart Lee on British place names.
Alright, I've had a look at the video, okay, and Stewart Lee is incomparably and without doubt alright but here's the thing okay, and I want to be perfectly clear about this. Trump is stealing 5.3 Billion dollars from the build hospitals for veterans fund to build an imaginary fascist symbol and Stewart Lee can't get his own YT channel? I'm just saying, put an earmark in there for the guy is all. A few measly million, no big.
posted by petebest at 12:17 PM on February 19, 2019
Alright, I've had a look at the video, okay, and Stewart Lee is incomparably and without doubt alright but here's the thing okay, and I want to be perfectly clear about this. Trump is stealing 5.3 Billion dollars from the build hospitals for veterans fund to build an imaginary fascist symbol and Stewart Lee can't get his own YT channel? I'm just saying, put an earmark in there for the guy is all. A few measly million, no big.
posted by petebest at 12:17 PM on February 19, 2019
Stewart Lee is incomparably and without doubt alright
In every bit of Stewart Lee stand-up video I've watched (which admittedly is only 4 or 5 but those were utterly random), he has come across to me as more mean-spirited than funny. I have my share of favorite sardonic comedians, but Lee...I don't know. Am I missing something?
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:58 PM on February 19, 2019
In every bit of Stewart Lee stand-up video I've watched (which admittedly is only 4 or 5 but those were utterly random), he has come across to me as more mean-spirited than funny. I have my share of favorite sardonic comedians, but Lee...I don't know. Am I missing something?
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:58 PM on February 19, 2019
Well most of his work is profound, layered, and meticulously constructed long-form work without peer, which is then done the disservice of being sliced down to context-free slivers for the YouTube audience. He’s not for everyone but snippets definitely aren’t his medium
posted by churl at 3:05 PM on February 19, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by churl at 3:05 PM on February 19, 2019 [2 favorites]
And yes, the mean-spirited seeming parts of it are layered up within a context of, e.g. ridiculing the immaturity and cruelty of Top Gear.
posted by ambrosen at 3:13 PM on February 19, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by ambrosen at 3:13 PM on February 19, 2019 [2 favorites]
Star Wars + Trump + those Brit Photosloppers at b3ta
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:38 PM on February 19, 2019
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:38 PM on February 19, 2019
Two Party Opera, weird hybrid semi-political comic with caricatures of past Presidents commenting on current topics. Here's a good one for President's Day.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:42 PM on February 19, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:42 PM on February 19, 2019 [1 favorite]
This somehow seems more suited to Hyucking than the MegaThread™:
Quote of the Day
“It will be a shredding of the Constitution, and the end of the rule of law as we know it, and due process, and equal justice and application of our laws.”
Wait for it .... wait for it ....
... okay
— Sean Hannity, on Fox News, if Attorney General William Barr doesn’t reopen an investigation into Hillary Clinton.
Yeah. That's right. Because insanity is a national network.
posted by petebest at 7:48 AM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]
Quote of the Day
“It will be a shredding of the Constitution, and the end of the rule of law as we know it, and due process, and equal justice and application of our laws.”
Wait for it .... wait for it ....
... okay
— Sean Hannity, on Fox News, if Attorney General William Barr doesn’t reopen an investigation into Hillary Clinton.
Yeah. That's right. Because insanity is a national network.
posted by petebest at 7:48 AM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]
this image, posted on /r/TheMueller
posted by exogenous at 9:05 AM on February 20, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by exogenous at 9:05 AM on February 20, 2019 [9 favorites]
I can't be the only one to notice how slow the mega-threads have been lately. It's kinda disappointing to check in after an hour or so and see only 1 or 2 updates and not 45. the mods must be ecstatic, but my days feel empty...
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:09 AM on February 20, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:09 AM on February 20, 2019 [8 favorites]
the megathread is quiet because a Bernie thread opened up and two pent-up years of not being able to RLTP is splortching out all over the place.
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:15 AM on February 20, 2019 [12 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:15 AM on February 20, 2019 [12 favorites]
The users have seized the means of comment production and moved them over to the Bernie thread.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 10:16 AM on February 20, 2019 [13 favorites]
posted by Huffy Puffy at 10:16 AM on February 20, 2019 [13 favorites]
It's kinda disappointing to check in after an hour or so and see only 1 or 2 updates and not 45. ... my days feel empty...
Welcome to the club - that's how many of us have been feeling about the semi-neglect of rest of the site since people started throwing all their comment energy into the frenzy of the political threads... At least now the Hyucking threads give me a chance to read a few topical jokes and toss out a couple of my own.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:17 AM on February 20, 2019 [5 favorites]
Welcome to the club - that's how many of us have been feeling about the semi-neglect of rest of the site since people started throwing all their comment energy into the frenzy of the political threads... At least now the Hyucking threads give me a chance to read a few topical jokes and toss out a couple of my own.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:17 AM on February 20, 2019 [5 favorites]
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your political hero
Smells like poo
posted by daybeforetheday at 10:56 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
Violets are blue
Your political hero
Smells like poo
posted by daybeforetheday at 10:56 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
For politics fix:
Brexit thread
For other fun stuff to read on the site:
-what's the word for that.. thing... with the.. stuff? (descriptions we make up when we can't think of the right word)
-a uranium story
-what cool secret things can I hide in a dollhouse I'm making?
-funny songs about historical topics
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 11:38 AM on February 20, 2019 [4 favorites]
Brexit thread
For other fun stuff to read on the site:
-what's the word for that.. thing... with the.. stuff? (descriptions we make up when we can't think of the right word)
-a uranium story
-what cool secret things can I hide in a dollhouse I'm making?
-funny songs about historical topics
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 11:38 AM on February 20, 2019 [4 favorites]
There’s still plenty of news happening out there for MeFites to post in the megathread if they’re so inclined. (It should be obvious by now which journalists’ and commentators’ Twitter accounts I follow to keep abreast of the headlines.)
Anyorad, for comic relief, @nowthisnews got hold of a hilarious video in which the historian who schooled Davos about tax rates went to town on Fox’s favorite know-nothing preppie oik: “Watch Fox News host Tucker Carlson call one of his guests a 'tiny brain...moron' during an interview. NowThis has obtained the full segment with historian Rutger Bregman that Fox News is refusing to air.”
posted by Doktor Zed at 11:52 AM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]
Anyorad, for comic relief, @nowthisnews got hold of a hilarious video in which the historian who schooled Davos about tax rates went to town on Fox’s favorite know-nothing preppie oik: “Watch Fox News host Tucker Carlson call one of his guests a 'tiny brain...moron' during an interview. NowThis has obtained the full segment with historian Rutger Bregman that Fox News is refusing to air.”
posted by Doktor Zed at 11:52 AM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]
from /r/TheMeuller:
"Fun Fact: Robert Mueller has a 100% conviction rate"
heh. That IS fun!
posted by petebest at 12:30 PM on February 20, 2019 [4 favorites]
"Fun Fact: Robert Mueller has a 100% conviction rate"
heh. That IS fun!
posted by petebest at 12:30 PM on February 20, 2019 [4 favorites]
Trump declares New York Times 'enemy of the people'
How cute - he thinks he's "people"!
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:33 PM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]
How cute - he thinks he's "people"!
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:33 PM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]
@Alyssa_Milano: 1:09 AM - 18 Feb 2019
posted by ZeusHumms at 1:34 PM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]
Go read Trump’s last ten tweets and ask yourself this—are those the tweets of an innocent man who has nothing to hide?To be honest, I'm not sure that any ten consecutive tweets of his meet this criteria.
posted by ZeusHumms at 1:34 PM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]
It almost certainly applies to *any* set of ten tweets from him, including his first ten. Truly a timeless tweet from Ms. Milano.
posted by orange swan at 4:16 PM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by orange swan at 4:16 PM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
Russia may be forced to aim weapons at _________, suggests Putin
‘Centres of decision making’ will be targeted if west deploys new missiles in Europe.
The Federalist Society?
Mar-a-Lago?
Fox News Headquarters?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:20 PM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]
‘Centres of decision making’ will be targeted if west deploys new missiles in Europe.
The Federalist Society?
Mar-a-Lago?
Fox News Headquarters?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:20 PM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]
Looks like it's time for another round of the American News Nightmare!
-- An openly queer biracial celebrity potentially falsified and/or orchestrated a hate crime against himself.
-- An alt-right (alt-white?) military official planned a thwarted domestic terrorist attack against American citizens who happen to be prominent liberals, possibly an example of stochastic terrorism encouraged by the President of the United States.
Who will get more attention? Who will be vilified longer by corporate media?!
"No matter who wins, we lose!" ℠
posted by Arson Lupine at 7:22 PM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]
-- An openly queer biracial celebrity potentially falsified and/or orchestrated a hate crime against himself.
-- An alt-right (alt-white?) military official planned a thwarted domestic terrorist attack against American citizens who happen to be prominent liberals, possibly an example of stochastic terrorism encouraged by the President of the United States.
Who will get more attention? Who will be vilified longer by corporate media?!
"No matter who wins, we lose!" ℠
posted by Arson Lupine at 7:22 PM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]
A couple things:
1.) Remember back during the shutdown when the secretary of commerce expressed befuddlement that workers would visit a food bank rather than get a loan? And the president tried to explain those comments by saying that local grocery stores would "work along" with furloughed government employees, extending them credit? And everyone was like, "wait, what?"
THIS IS ACTUALLY A THING THAT HAPPENS ACCORDING TO A COUNTRY MUSIC NOVELTY SONG. In the 1975 song "Kansas City Star" by Roger Miller, the narrator proclaims:
posted by compartment at 7:31 PM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]
1.) Remember back during the shutdown when the secretary of commerce expressed befuddlement that workers would visit a food bank rather than get a loan? And the president tried to explain those comments by saying that local grocery stores would "work along" with furloughed government employees, extending them credit? And everyone was like, "wait, what?"
THIS IS ACTUALLY A THING THAT HAPPENS ACCORDING TO A COUNTRY MUSIC NOVELTY SONG. In the 1975 song "Kansas City Star" by Roger Miller, the narrator proclaims:
Kansas City Star2.) Paging Bobby Jindal! Did someone say "volcano monitoring"? Yes, and it was the United States Senate! S47 recently passed the Senate and is awaiting action by the House. It addresses lots of important matters, including volcano monitoring.
That's what I are
Yodle-eedle-ady you ought to see my car
I drive a big old Cadillac with wire wheels
I got rhinestones on the spokes
I've got credit down at the grocery store
And my barber tells me jokes
posted by compartment at 7:31 PM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]
So I drove by the Brexit thread on my way to the freshest outrages on MegaThread™ #4,222, and just did a bunch of bug-eyed gawking. Dang y'all. That's some messed up sh*t right there.
I'll be honest that the recent-ish No Deal conundrum didn't really hit until I saw the John Oliver piece about it. It's effective television. I offer sincere condolences on your self-inflicted predicament. As a fellow sufferer I can offer tea and sympathy, and a standing offer for the UK to crash on the couch for a few days if needed. (no tv after 10pm, must like cats.)
posted by petebest at 8:33 AM on February 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
I'll be honest that the recent-ish No Deal conundrum didn't really hit until I saw the John Oliver piece about it. It's effective television. I offer sincere condolences on your self-inflicted predicament. As a fellow sufferer I can offer tea and sympathy, and a standing offer for the UK to crash on the couch for a few days if needed. (no tv after 10pm, must like cats.)
posted by petebest at 8:33 AM on February 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
Number of Smollett Stories on the Fox Front Page Right Now: Ten. Number About the Coast Guard Terrorist: Zero.
This is why your grandparents vote the way they do.posted by tonycpsu at 10:56 AM on February 21, 2019 [12 favorites]
Lalo Alcaraz today had a good explanation of "Executive Time" that also goes far toward explaining Trump's "Executive" business decisions (especially Trump Steaks and Trump Water).
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:45 PM on February 21, 2019
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:45 PM on February 21, 2019
So I've binge watching Nailed It as I'm in 508 hell, and one of the episodes was USA/political themed, so they had everyone make a molded chocolate and cake bust of GD trump himself. And I'm thinking (along with the lone black contestant) "why would the hell would you make them do this?!?", but then she reveals her masterpiece and I laughed for a good five minutes. Alas, she did not win.
posted by Hermeowne Grangepurr at 2:34 PM on February 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Hermeowne Grangepurr at 2:34 PM on February 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
> Number of Smollett Stories on the Fox Front Page Right Now: Ten. Number About the Coast Guard Terrorist: Zero.
This is why your grandparents vote the way they do.
From what I can tell, CNN only published one article today about the Coast Guard Terrorist, and it was an opinion piece. If we're also including the number of news video clips that were produced, today's final score is 4 (Coast Guard) to 14 (Smollett). In some respects, other outlets haven't been doing much better.
But this is supposed to be the Joking thread, so I'll just say that American corporate media is the joke, and the joke is on anyone who expects to see some journalistic integrity.
posted by Arson Lupine at 3:52 PM on February 21, 2019 [3 favorites]
This is why your grandparents vote the way they do.
From what I can tell, CNN only published one article today about the Coast Guard Terrorist, and it was an opinion piece. If we're also including the number of news video clips that were produced, today's final score is 4 (Coast Guard) to 14 (Smollett). In some respects, other outlets haven't been doing much better.
But this is supposed to be the Joking thread, so I'll just say that American corporate media is the joke, and the joke is on anyone who expects to see some journalistic integrity.
posted by Arson Lupine at 3:52 PM on February 21, 2019 [3 favorites]
zachlipton: Owners at Trump Place on 120 Riverside Drive have voted to remove the Trump name sign from the building, the second building to do so in four months. Six Upper West Side buildings once carried the Trump Place name, and since the election, five buildings have now voted to remove it.
Good. Maybe we won't have to wait 50-150 years like with all the Confederate Treason Memorial statues.
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:53 PM on February 21, 2019 [3 favorites]
Good. Maybe we won't have to wait 50-150 years like with all the Confederate Treason Memorial statues.
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:53 PM on February 21, 2019 [3 favorites]
Is this magazine cover for Time or for MAD?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:40 PM on February 21, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:40 PM on February 21, 2019 [3 favorites]
An ACLU volunteer was textbanking in Kansas, asking voters to call their state reps and ask them to support an election day voter registration bill. If you text enough voters who live in a district, you might eventually come across one particular voter who lives in a district, and that's how State Rep Brandon Woodard got a text asking if he'll call State Rep Brandon Woodard.
Oh, and then they apparently had him confused with State Rep Brandon Whipple, who actually is on the relevant committee.
posted by zachlipton at 9:55 PM on February 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
Oh, and then they apparently had him confused with State Rep Brandon Whipple, who actually is on the relevant committee.
posted by zachlipton at 9:55 PM on February 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
If you haven't checked out the Rogue Melania account on Twitter, I suggest you do so. Whoever is behind that account does an incredible job of being both hilarious and incisive. Rogue Melania is by far the best Melania.
posted by orange swan at 3:28 AM on February 22, 2019
posted by orange swan at 3:28 AM on February 22, 2019
So I've binge watching Nailed It ... so they had everyone make a molded chocolate and cake bust of GD trump himself.
Nailed It is a fantastic show for the what-shows-like-Top-Chef-can-be-tolerated. Like, a laugh-out-loud show which is pretty freakin' rare these days. A kind contest. A ridiculously servicable premise. Wes the PA. Highly Recommended (Netflix). HOWEVER. When they revealed the Trump cake challenge, it was immediately turned off and scorned for 6 months until it was reluctantly forgiven in time for season 2.
People, you have to laugh. But some things just aren't funny. Still recommended, just skip the last show of season 1.
posted by petebest at 5:16 AM on February 22, 2019
Nailed It is a fantastic show for the what-shows-like-Top-Chef-can-be-tolerated. Like, a laugh-out-loud show which is pretty freakin' rare these days. A kind contest. A ridiculously servicable premise. Wes the PA. Highly Recommended (Netflix). HOWEVER. When they revealed the Trump cake challenge, it was immediately turned off and scorned for 6 months until it was reluctantly forgiven in time for season 2.
People, you have to laugh. But some things just aren't funny. Still recommended, just skip the last show of season 1.
posted by petebest at 5:16 AM on February 22, 2019
Wow: Mark Harris says new election is warranted after ballet tampering in NC-09.
O Turd Circus America,
Where money'd elite meet
Is there no shame in Mudville
Not to mess with dancers' feet?
Porcine Lake
The Swamp and the Pendulum
Canst no one unfuck this timeline? Nay.
The tampered ballet
Plies on.
posted by petebest at 5:27 AM on February 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
O Turd Circus America,
Where money'd elite meet
Is there no shame in Mudville
Not to mess with dancers' feet?
Porcine Lake
The Swamp and the Pendulum
Canst no one unfuck this timeline? Nay.
The tampered ballet
Plies on.
posted by petebest at 5:27 AM on February 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
The Austrian Federal Chancellor visited the White House this week. Not content to be an embarrassement at home and in Europe, he saw a need to visit Trump and practice his high school English. They have also much in common, Kurz instituted his own little "wall", on Austria's Southern border. At the time he was still Foreign Minister and State Secretary for Integration.
Here you can see how he prepared himself for the visit (link to Falter magazine, scroll to Episode 55 "Folge 55: Vorbereitung auf den Trump-Besuch")
And just above, their meeting in Episode 56.
Maybe Kurz also gave Trump some tips on how to use language creatively and finance border control. Austrian politicians used such phrases as "Tür mit Seitenteilen" which translates to Door mit side panels" to describe a heavy duty gate, featuring a steel bar fencing and barbed wire on each side.
Also, Austrian politicians solved the funding very creatively, they rent the fencing, and lease the land. There are however substantial stretches missing because property owners refused to lease for this purpose...
Or maybe they spoke about the friend they have in common or perhaps Kurz expressed his regrets that TRump didn't attend the Austrian foreign minister's wedding?
Anyway, let me teach you a German word: "fremdschämen" - it describes the emotion if you watch someone do something that mortifies you.
posted by 15L06 at 5:53 AM on February 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
Here you can see how he prepared himself for the visit (link to Falter magazine, scroll to Episode 55 "Folge 55: Vorbereitung auf den Trump-Besuch")
And just above, their meeting in Episode 56.
Maybe Kurz also gave Trump some tips on how to use language creatively and finance border control. Austrian politicians used such phrases as "Tür mit Seitenteilen" which translates to Door mit side panels" to describe a heavy duty gate, featuring a steel bar fencing and barbed wire on each side.
Also, Austrian politicians solved the funding very creatively, they rent the fencing, and lease the land. There are however substantial stretches missing because property owners refused to lease for this purpose...
Or maybe they spoke about the friend they have in common or perhaps Kurz expressed his regrets that TRump didn't attend the Austrian foreign minister's wedding?
Anyway, let me teach you a German word: "fremdschämen" - it describes the emotion if you watch someone do something that mortifies you.
posted by 15L06 at 5:53 AM on February 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
Having spent several summers in Iowa, one thing I learned quickly is that you never, ever, get between an Iowan and their food. Ever. Doesn't matter if you are stumping to be president, or whatever. You just don't.
And highly related to that is how quick off the mark the most well-known t-shirt company in Des Moines is, and how many of their products I would like to buy.
posted by Wordshore at 9:18 AM on February 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
And highly related to that is how quick off the mark the most well-known t-shirt company in Des Moines is, and how many of their products I would like to buy.
posted by Wordshore at 9:18 AM on February 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
So Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots and Trump bestie, got arrested for soliciting prostitution at a Palm Beach massage parlour. Apparently this is a serious months-long investigation involving human trafficking. Palm Beach? massage parlour with trafficked workers? I'm crossing my fingers this nastiness has a closer Trump/Mar-a-Lago angle yet to be revealed.
posted by aiglet at 10:44 AM on February 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by aiglet at 10:44 AM on February 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
Friends, I'm starting to get an idea about where Trump gets all the blue tape stories from.
posted by notyou at 10:59 AM on February 22, 2019
posted by notyou at 10:59 AM on February 22, 2019
Michael Cohen mentions possible irregularities at Trump family businesses. Bwah ha ha ha ha ha, no really, I laughed out loud when I read that.
posted by Oyéah at 3:28 PM on February 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Oyéah at 3:28 PM on February 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
"Similarly, it also helps to know that someone named "Bernie Sanders" is running at all, because then maybe you should read a vote for "Bernies Sander" as a vote for "Bernie Sanders" -- or maybe you shouldn't, but you'll at least know to ask the quesiton.
BERNIES SANDER
OH GOD THEY'RE MULTIPLYING
posted by tivalasvegas at 4:39 PM on February 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
BERNIES SANDER
OH GOD THEY'RE MULTIPLYING
posted by tivalasvegas at 4:39 PM on February 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
Mulder and Scully take over the Mueller investigation.
posted by suelac at 5:08 PM on February 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by suelac at 5:08 PM on February 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
(Can we not make jokes about trafficked women jesus fucking Christ)
posted by schadenfrau at 5:10 PM on February 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by schadenfrau at 5:10 PM on February 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
If you want to read a lot of arguments about Hillary vs Bernie, you're in luck because we have a rich collection of those from 2016.
Yes, but I've already read those threads and I'm jonesing for more hot takes about the 2016 primaries.
(Kidding, that is a good mod note)
posted by Tehhund at 10:08 AM on February 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
Yes, but I've already read those threads and I'm jonesing for more hot takes about the 2016 primaries.
(Kidding, that is a good mod note)
posted by Tehhund at 10:08 AM on February 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
Is 2006 a "past life" for everybody, or just rich guys? Asking for a friend.
posted by Selena777 at 8:27 AM on February 25, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Selena777 at 8:27 AM on February 25, 2019 [2 favorites]
for many rich guys a new life starts after each wall street crash with no memories of the past
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:55 AM on February 25, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:55 AM on February 25, 2019 [4 favorites]
for many rich guys a new life clone starts after each wall street crash with no memories of the past
FTFY
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:58 AM on February 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
FTFY
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:58 AM on February 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
> "On Friday, Mr. Berger, the Republican state senator, resisted suggestions that his party had ignored the fraud potential and noted that state law already banned the misconduct outlined at the hearing this week. But he said, “I think it’s clear that something needs to be done if there’s a reasonable thing that can be done.”"
[...] The NYT prints like they print the weekly weather, then move on. This particular class of Republicans that have gravitated to the bitter fumes of Trumps DC, they're just doing blanket crimes and policy violations as a matter of course - they're not really trying. But this stock mad-libs article will give them yet more cover to keep doing it.
Here is the original Mad Lib for any folks who want to play along:
"On [day of the week], [Republican politician] resisted suggestions that [he/his office/his party] had [crime (past tense)] and noted that [law or policy broken by said crime] already banned the [softer word for "criminal behavior"] outlined at [source of communicated allegation]. But he said, "[admission of guilt disguised as pointless and ineffectual statement meant to sound authoritative or definitive about addressing the issue]."
posted by Arson Lupine at 10:16 AM on February 25, 2019 [6 favorites]
[...] The NYT prints like they print the weekly weather, then move on. This particular class of Republicans that have gravitated to the bitter fumes of Trumps DC, they're just doing blanket crimes and policy violations as a matter of course - they're not really trying. But this stock mad-libs article will give them yet more cover to keep doing it.
Here is the original Mad Lib for any folks who want to play along:
"On [day of the week], [Republican politician] resisted suggestions that [he/his office/his party] had [crime (past tense)] and noted that [law or policy broken by said crime] already banned the [softer word for "criminal behavior"] outlined at [source of communicated allegation]. But he said, "[admission of guilt disguised as pointless and ineffectual statement meant to sound authoritative or definitive about addressing the issue]."
posted by Arson Lupine at 10:16 AM on February 25, 2019 [6 favorites]
No, seriously. Try it:
"On Thursday, Roy Moore resisted suggestions that he had engaged in child molestation and noted that statutory sexual conduct laws already banned the naughty badness outlined at a million recent news conferences. But he said, "I'm gonna keep a-runnin' anyway! Ya can't stop me! Bang! Bang! Bang!" and imitated firing imaginary pistols into the air.
posted by Arson Lupine at 10:32 AM on February 25, 2019 [3 favorites]
"On Thursday, Roy Moore resisted suggestions that he had engaged in child molestation and noted that statutory sexual conduct laws already banned the naughty badness outlined at a million recent news conferences. But he said, "I'm gonna keep a-runnin' anyway! Ya can't stop me! Bang! Bang! Bang!" and imitated firing imaginary pistols into the air.
posted by Arson Lupine at 10:32 AM on February 25, 2019 [3 favorites]
In other words, "Hey, any rocks that Mueller forgot to tun over?"
It's loike, "how many more rocks did Mueller forget to turn over", and the answer is None. None more rocks.
posted by petebest at 1:14 PM on February 25, 2019 [2 favorites]
It's loike, "how many more rocks did Mueller forget to turn over", and the answer is None. None more rocks.
posted by petebest at 1:14 PM on February 25, 2019 [2 favorites]
I wonder what it feels like not to have any guiding principles. It seems like it would be disorienting and anxiety provoking.
Yeah but you take a few turns in the ol' yacht, hang out with some sexpots and look rly srs for the cameras and it starts to feel better until the relection campaign starts to take up more time.
posted by petebest at 11:09 AM on February 26, 2019 [2 favorites]
Yeah but you take a few turns in the ol' yacht, hang out with some sexpots and look rly srs for the cameras and it starts to feel better until the relection campaign starts to take up more time.
posted by petebest at 11:09 AM on February 26, 2019 [2 favorites]
my latest deleted comment in the metathread:
after Horrible Florida Man [even by florida standards] and member of Congress Matt Gaetz via twitter:
Hey @MichaelCohen212 - Do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends?
Trump's Mirror applies to ALL Republicans:
Hey, Congressman Matt Gaetz, do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends?
(I held back there; I could've said "your girlfriends and boyfriends")
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:00 PM on February 26, 2019 [1 favorite]
after Horrible Florida Man [even by florida standards] and member of Congress Matt Gaetz via twitter:
Hey @MichaelCohen212 - Do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends?
Trump's Mirror applies to ALL Republicans:
Hey, Congressman Matt Gaetz, do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends?
(I held back there; I could've said "your girlfriends and boyfriends")
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:00 PM on February 26, 2019 [1 favorite]
Oh boy...
@JuddLegum: This is the guy Mark Harris just endorsed to be the Republican nominee in North Carolina's 9th district [pic]
posted by peeedro at 2:09 PM on February 26, 2019 [5 favorites]
@JuddLegum: This is the guy Mark Harris just endorsed to be the Republican nominee in North Carolina's 9th district [pic]
posted by peeedro at 2:09 PM on February 26, 2019 [5 favorites]
Fun fact - that suit was engineered specifically for Elvis! Sweat actually cleans that suit!
posted by petebest at 2:32 PM on February 26, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by petebest at 2:32 PM on February 26, 2019 [1 favorite]
Literally Boss Hogg.
posted by schadenfrau at 2:37 PM on February 26, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by schadenfrau at 2:37 PM on February 26, 2019 [7 favorites]
The latest in-depth analysis by editorial cartoon is from Jen Sorenson: Atmospheric Cleansing.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:56 PM on February 26, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:56 PM on February 26, 2019 [1 favorite]
The china shop inventory has not been added to the float yet.
And next year they can reuse it by having a guy named Miller or something grabbing him by the horns.
posted by Stoneshop at 1:10 AM on February 27, 2019
And next year they can reuse it by having a guy named Miller or something grabbing him by the horns.
posted by Stoneshop at 1:10 AM on February 27, 2019
Oh, I get it, Michael Cohen misinterpreted the term 'criminal lawyer'.
posted by Marticus at 1:22 AM on February 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Marticus at 1:22 AM on February 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
I keep forgetting this (useful) thread exists, so here's an analysis of the current standing of Brexit from a German TV satire.
posted by Wordshore at 2:38 AM on February 27, 2019
posted by Wordshore at 2:38 AM on February 27, 2019
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing
Is my cynical prediction for the outcome of testimony of Michael Cohen this morning.
posted by nubs at 5:27 AM on February 27, 2019
Is my cynical prediction for the outcome of testimony of Michael Cohen this morning.
posted by nubs at 5:27 AM on February 27, 2019
Wow. that was fascinating. A Daily Show but in funny talk. And well done too, I thought. That Jon Stewart guy did some great work back in the day and now it's global.
posted by petebest at 6:54 AM on February 27, 2019
posted by petebest at 6:54 AM on February 27, 2019
OH MY GOD HE IS SO STUPID
Scott Dworkin on Twitter:
BREAKING: A GOP lobbyist just told me @realDonaldTrump is in “complete disarray” and that he was “blindsided” by Cohen’s opening statement. Trump feels “betrayed” & is “absolutely furious.” Says Trump even wanted to fly back to US, and also didn’t know Cohen could bring evidence.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 7:13 AM on February 27, 2019 [7 favorites]
Scott Dworkin on Twitter:
BREAKING: A GOP lobbyist just told me @realDonaldTrump is in “complete disarray” and that he was “blindsided” by Cohen’s opening statement. Trump feels “betrayed” & is “absolutely furious.” Says Trump even wanted to fly back to US, and also didn’t know Cohen could bring evidence.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 7:13 AM on February 27, 2019 [7 favorites]
wow, jim jordan coming out of the gate strong here as being an enormous dick
posted by BungaDunga at 7:21 AM on February 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by BungaDunga at 7:21 AM on February 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
Not sure what the above is referring to, but Jim Jordan being an enormous dick is SOP.
posted by soundguy99 at 7:22 AM on February 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by soundguy99 at 7:22 AM on February 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
This section of Cohen's statement sounds like Karen recalling what she found so appealing about Henry Hill in the early days.
posted by theory at 7:37 AM on February 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by theory at 7:37 AM on February 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
I'm waiting for Trump to announce that he is returning Robert Kraft's donations and denouncing him due to his participation in a sex slave trafficking ring.
posted by srboisvert at 7:45 AM on February 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by srboisvert at 7:45 AM on February 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
From the megathread:
But like Khan on the the damaged bridge of the USS RELIANT, he's going to see Donald Trump in Hell.
I'm now hoping someone will graft the STII soundtrack onto the dramatic bits of Cohen's testimony.
posted by nubs at 8:41 AM on February 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
But like Khan on the the damaged bridge of the USS RELIANT, he's going to see Donald Trump in Hell.
I'm now hoping someone will graft the STII soundtrack onto the dramatic bits of Cohen's testimony.
posted by nubs at 8:41 AM on February 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
I keep waiting for some besuited villain to pop through a window and silence him for testifying against Wilson Fisk
posted by BungaDunga at 9:22 AM on February 27, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by BungaDunga at 9:22 AM on February 27, 2019 [3 favorites]
I'm now hoping someone will graft the STII soundtrack onto the dramatic bits of Cohen's testimony.
It's not perfect, but try looking at this picture while listening to this.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:48 AM on February 27, 2019
It's not perfect, but try looking at this picture while listening to this.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:48 AM on February 27, 2019
contextless exclamation!
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 9:51 AM on February 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 9:51 AM on February 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
This is the best episode of SNL I have seen in awhile.
posted by srboisvert at 9:56 AM on February 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 9:56 AM on February 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
This Cohen/AOC/Simpsons mashup tweet is playing on multiple levels.
posted by Servo5678 at 10:14 AM on February 27, 2019
posted by Servo5678 at 10:14 AM on February 27, 2019
Great googely-moogely! This is truely bonkers! So much bullshit flying around in so many directions! Cohen, such a nice boy! I gotta wonder if he did, you know, get the word to shut up about the family, say what you gotta about the goon, you’re gonna go inside for a bit and then go be a nice husband and son.
posted by From Bklyn at 10:34 AM on February 27, 2019
posted by From Bklyn at 10:34 AM on February 27, 2019
KAAAHHHHEEENNNNNNN!!
posted by petebest at 11:17 AM on February 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by petebest at 11:17 AM on February 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
Gotta admit, I REALLY want to see his HS and college grades now.
Though it's weird; you have to assume he at least got C's and D's (fairly or not) if he graduated. I don't know that his base would care about that. It's an odd thing, of all the shit he has failed at, for him to be sensitive about.
posted by emjaybee at 11:29 AM on February 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
Though it's weird; you have to assume he at least got C's and D's (fairly or not) if he graduated. I don't know that his base would care about that. It's an odd thing, of all the shit he has failed at, for him to be sensitive about.
posted by emjaybee at 11:29 AM on February 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
"Mr. President, how's things going with Russia?" should be the first question of every press conference.
posted by petebest at 11:53 AM on February 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by petebest at 11:53 AM on February 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
Does he have kids? Maybe he told his kids he got good grades, so they have to go do their homework dammit. (I have seen this dynamic before.) (No, my kids haven't seen my grades. Yes they do their homework dammit.)
posted by wenestvedt at 11:53 AM on February 27, 2019
posted by wenestvedt at 11:53 AM on February 27, 2019
I've enjoyed several of Cohen's zingers, but I do wish every time an R whinged about hearing testimony from someone convicted of lying to Congress he started his response with, "Thank you for publicly acknowledging that my previous testimonies clearing Donald J. Trump of wrongdoing were not truthful" or something.
posted by solotoro at 1:08 PM on February 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by solotoro at 1:08 PM on February 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
Today's New Yorker Daily Cartoon proves you CAN connect any two topics...
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:45 PM on February 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:45 PM on February 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
Ron Howard, if you're reading this, please produce a video series where you narrate deadpan factoids and/or factual statements into the Cohen testimony.
"This is the first hearing we've had this session!"
[Narrator: It wasn't. (cut to footage of previous hearing) On January 29th...]
"I don't hate Blacks! My best friend--! Er... my nieces and nephews are, uh... people of color!"
[Narrator: They are, but in 2012, Representative Meadows publicly vowed to send then-President Obama back to "Kenya or wherever". (cut to footage) He has been estranged from his nieces and nephews ever since.]
"We could be working on more important things like our crumbling infrastructure!"
[Narrator: This representative has skipped the past three floor votes on such issues. (slideshow three separate images of the representative absolutely rocking out at three separate Phish concerts)]
"Mr. Cohen, is it true that you're a liar liar whose pants are on fire?"
[Narrator: This is an actual question from an actual member of the United States House of Representatives.]
"(AOC's refreshingly pointed series of questions)"
[Narrator: This is her first week on the job. She'll get it eventually.]
You can do this instead of the next season of Arrested Development. I don't mind.
posted by Arson Lupine at 9:01 AM on February 28, 2019 [3 favorites]
"This is the first hearing we've had this session!"
[Narrator: It wasn't. (cut to footage of previous hearing) On January 29th...]
"I don't hate Blacks! My best friend--! Er... my nieces and nephews are, uh... people of color!"
[Narrator: They are, but in 2012, Representative Meadows publicly vowed to send then-President Obama back to "Kenya or wherever". (cut to footage) He has been estranged from his nieces and nephews ever since.]
"We could be working on more important things like our crumbling infrastructure!"
[Narrator: This representative has skipped the past three floor votes on such issues. (slideshow three separate images of the representative absolutely rocking out at three separate Phish concerts)]
"Mr. Cohen, is it true that you're a liar liar whose pants are on fire?"
[Narrator: This is an actual question from an actual member of the United States House of Representatives.]
"(AOC's refreshingly pointed series of questions)"
[Narrator: This is her first week on the job. She'll get it eventually.]
You can do this instead of the next season of Arrested Development. I don't mind.
posted by Arson Lupine at 9:01 AM on February 28, 2019 [3 favorites]
From the "We have a half-assed Luca Brasi because we're interpreting The Godfather solely through misheard pop culture references and didn't bother to watch it, and...there's also a book? Read? What's that?" file:
Trump associate Matthew Calamari is both real and a doofus:
To be fair, it doesn’t seem like Calamari was being employed for his massive intellect. According to The Washington Post, Trump hired the hulking Calamari as a bodyguard in the early ‘80s after witnessing him tackle two hecklers at the 1981 U.S. Open tennis tournament. Over the years, Calamari moved his way up the Trump Organization ladder, first becoming security director for Trump Tower in New York and, in a massive leap, executive vice president of the entire business operation. He’s been cited in numerous Trump biographies for his fierce loyalty to the president and even once admitted his willingness to kill for the man. So, yeah, not a genius.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:12 AM on February 28, 2019 [2 favorites]
Trump associate Matthew Calamari is both real and a doofus:
To be fair, it doesn’t seem like Calamari was being employed for his massive intellect. According to The Washington Post, Trump hired the hulking Calamari as a bodyguard in the early ‘80s after witnessing him tackle two hecklers at the 1981 U.S. Open tennis tournament. Over the years, Calamari moved his way up the Trump Organization ladder, first becoming security director for Trump Tower in New York and, in a massive leap, executive vice president of the entire business operation. He’s been cited in numerous Trump biographies for his fierce loyalty to the president and even once admitted his willingness to kill for the man. So, yeah, not a genius.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:12 AM on February 28, 2019 [2 favorites]
Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu has been indicted on fraud and bribery charges.
Not to worry, if necessary Trump can just pardon him. That's how this works, right?
posted by xigxag at 11:08 AM on February 28, 2019 [4 favorites]
Not to worry, if necessary Trump can just pardon him. That's how this works, right?
posted by xigxag at 11:08 AM on February 28, 2019 [4 favorites]
Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu has been indicted on fraud and bribery charges.
That's what "It's all about the Benjamin(s)" really means.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:26 AM on February 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
That's what "It's all about the Benjamin(s)" really means.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:26 AM on February 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
Who said it – Michael Cohen, or Henry Hill from Goodfellas?
posted by exogenous at 12:07 PM on February 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by exogenous at 12:07 PM on February 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
box, describing a Republican propaganda video: In addition to AOC, other boogeymen include Barack Obama, John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Cory Booker, and Kamala Harris.
How does John "goodness, what a flattering turtleneck" Kerry make their cut? Is it because he's rich, and his wife's mega-rich?
posted by Iris Gambol at 2:18 PM on February 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
How does John "goodness, what a flattering turtleneck" Kerry make their cut? Is it because he's rich, and his wife's mega-rich?
posted by Iris Gambol at 2:18 PM on February 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
How does John Kerry make their cut?
a Democratic Presidential nominee since 2001 (with bonus points for a successful disinformation campaign against him ["swift boat"])
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:05 PM on February 28, 2019
a Democratic Presidential nominee since 2001 (with bonus points for a successful disinformation campaign against him ["swift boat"])
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:05 PM on February 28, 2019
Well, i guess Corey Booker’s campaign is over: Cory Booker thinks you make a margarita with “fruit” and “ice” and “vodka”
posted by 1970s Antihero at 4:28 PM on February 28, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by 1970s Antihero at 4:28 PM on February 28, 2019 [6 favorites]
AOC's gotta school the party on social media, congressional-hearing questioning, and basic bartending?
She has the same 24 hours in a day as everyone else!
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:49 PM on February 28, 2019 [7 favorites]
She has the same 24 hours in a day as everyone else!
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:49 PM on February 28, 2019 [7 favorites]
Cory Booker thinks you make a margarita with “fruit” and “ice” and “vodka”
Dude must've been high.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:50 PM on February 28, 2019
Dude must've been high.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:50 PM on February 28, 2019
NYT, Trump Ordered Officials to Give Vladimir Putin a Security Clearance
President Trump ordered his chief of staff to grant his BFF and senior adviser, Vladimir Putin, a top-secret security clearance last year, overruling concerns flagged by intelligence officials and the White House’s top lawyer, four people briefed on the matter said.
Mr. Trump’s decision in May so troubled senior administration officials that at least one, the White House chief of staff at the time, John F. Kelly, wrote a contemporaneous internal memo about how he had been “ordered” to give Mr. Putin the top-secret clearance.
The White House counsel at the time, Donald F. McGahn II, also wrote an internal memo outlining the concerns that had been raised about Mr. Putin — including by the C.I.A. — and how Mr. McGahn had recommended that he not be given a top-secret clearance.
The disclosure of the memos contradicts statements made by the president, who told The New York Times in January in an Oval Office interview that he had no role in the Russian President receiving his clearance.
[/fake?]
posted by petebest at 7:50 PM on February 28, 2019
President Trump ordered his chief of staff to grant his BFF and senior adviser, Vladimir Putin, a top-secret security clearance last year, overruling concerns flagged by intelligence officials and the White House’s top lawyer, four people briefed on the matter said.
Mr. Trump’s decision in May so troubled senior administration officials that at least one, the White House chief of staff at the time, John F. Kelly, wrote a contemporaneous internal memo about how he had been “ordered” to give Mr. Putin the top-secret clearance.
The White House counsel at the time, Donald F. McGahn II, also wrote an internal memo outlining the concerns that had been raised about Mr. Putin — including by the C.I.A. — and how Mr. McGahn had recommended that he not be given a top-secret clearance.
The disclosure of the memos contradicts statements made by the president, who told The New York Times in January in an Oval Office interview that he had no role in the Russian President receiving his clearance.
[/fake?]
posted by petebest at 7:50 PM on February 28, 2019
NYT, Trump Ordered Officials to Give Vladimir Putin a Security Clearance
...
[/fake?]
Well, if my favorite pet theory that Ivanka is Trump’s handler is true, giving her security clearance might have ended up being the same thing.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:18 PM on March 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
...
[/fake?]
Well, if my favorite pet theory that Ivanka is Trump’s handler is true, giving her security clearance might have ended up being the same thing.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:18 PM on March 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
I read this morning that two publishing houses are prepared to put out the report in book form. - Mental Wimp (in the main thread)
And Chuck Tingle isn't one of them? There is the justice.
posted by kgander at 10:10 PM on March 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
And Chuck Tingle isn't one of them? There is the justice.
posted by kgander at 10:10 PM on March 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
Curious that God wanted Trump to be president but apparently also wanted him to lose the popular vote by nearly 3 million.
posted by Doktor Zed at 4:13 AM on March 2, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Doktor Zed at 4:13 AM on March 2, 2019 [2 favorites]
God doesn't believe in the popular vote.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:49 AM on March 2, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:49 AM on March 2, 2019 [2 favorites]
Trump at CPAC, on the New Green Deal: To laughter, Trump continued, mockingly: “No planes. No energy. When the wind stops blowing, that’s the end of your electric. ‘Let’s hurry up. Darling, darling, is the wind blowing today? I’d like to watch television, darling.’”
How comforting, that one of the most powerful people in the world doesn't understand how batteries work.
[Guardian link; in the top photo he's hugging the flag. No, seriously.]
posted by Iris Gambol at 10:47 AM on March 2, 2019 [1 favorite]
How comforting, that one of the most powerful people in the world doesn't understand how batteries work.
[Guardian link; in the top photo he's hugging the flag. No, seriously.]
posted by Iris Gambol at 10:47 AM on March 2, 2019 [1 favorite]
Cory Booker thinks you make a margarita with “fruit” and “ice” and “vodka”
Sure, that’s what you drink while you’re waiting for your friend to get back from the liquor store with tequila and ice.
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:23 PM on March 2, 2019 [2 favorites]
Sure, that’s what you drink while you’re waiting for your friend to get back from the liquor store with tequila and ice.
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:23 PM on March 2, 2019 [2 favorites]
Is Cory Booker Ralph Wiggum
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 2:28 PM on March 2, 2019
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 2:28 PM on March 2, 2019
The the Gridiron dinner is hyucking it up:
posted by Little Dawn at 9:25 PM on March 2, 2019
The evening's theme was Queen, with a satirical version of "Bohemian Rhapsody" performed as the opening number in a medley of acts: Nancy Pelosi (not the real Pelosi, of course) singing "Killer Queen" (Sunglasses, orange coat/ a dinner knife held to your throat), and Roger Stone and Paul Manafort singing "We’re the Well Dressed Trumpians" ("We are the Champions").(Previously)
posted by Little Dawn at 9:25 PM on March 2, 2019
Dear World,
You all witnessed what happened. There's no need for me to testify. I will burn myself at dawn. #MeToo
CPAC American Flag
posted by xammerboy at 10:32 PM on March 2, 2019 [3 favorites]
You all witnessed what happened. There's no need for me to testify. I will burn myself at dawn. #MeToo
CPAC American Flag
posted by xammerboy at 10:32 PM on March 2, 2019 [3 favorites]
gtrwolf: Do they still cluelessly cling on to said dream despite everything until the day they die? Or do they just become embittered fugs taking out their frustration on everyone around them?
Yes.
posted by Stoneshop at 3:33 AM on March 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
Yes.
posted by Stoneshop at 3:33 AM on March 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
I know 23 & me has a disclaimer and all, but if I would've known I'd miss believing I was part Scottish this deeply and often I would've kept my money.
posted by Selena777 at 10:58 AM on March 3, 2019
posted by Selena777 at 10:58 AM on March 3, 2019
"His just written book manuscript showed what he said was a total lie, but Fake Media won’t show it."
Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the missing manuscript.
posted by MtDewd at 3:20 PM on March 3, 2019 [3 favorites]
Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the missing manuscript.
posted by MtDewd at 3:20 PM on March 3, 2019 [3 favorites]
Is America ready for a Hickenlooper-Buttigieg ticket? Or maybe a Buttigieg-Hickenlooper ticket? 2020 is going to be the year of the silly name.
posted by jackbishop at 6:54 AM on March 4, 2019
posted by jackbishop at 6:54 AM on March 4, 2019
Buttigieg-Hickenlooper
Isn't that the guy who played Sherlock Holmes?
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:33 AM on March 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
Isn't that the guy who played Sherlock Holmes?
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:33 AM on March 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
Higgledy piggledy,
Buttigieg-Hickenloop—
Ticket too long for this
Poetic form.
Centrist positions get
Modest attention but
Leave the progressive wing
Merely lukewarm.
Is "Buttigieg" three syllables? I'm going to assume it's three syllables.
posted by jackbishop at 9:09 AM on March 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
Buttigieg-Hickenloop—
Ticket too long for this
Poetic form.
Centrist positions get
Modest attention but
Leave the progressive wing
Merely lukewarm.
Is "Buttigieg" three syllables? I'm going to assume it's three syllables.
posted by jackbishop at 9:09 AM on March 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
In typical exceptionally American fashion we don't have a state controlled TV but a TV controlled state.
Maybe Mitch Altman can do an appropriately-sized TV-B-Gone.
posted by Stoneshop at 12:40 PM on March 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
Maybe Mitch Altman can do an appropriately-sized TV-B-Gone.
posted by Stoneshop at 12:40 PM on March 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
Regarding Roger Stone and everyone else in the world: what is it about social media that makes everyone absolutely foot-shooting stupid?!
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:37 PM on March 4, 2019
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:37 PM on March 4, 2019
For Your Entertainment: The first thing in the current MAD Magazine is "Mary Poopins Goes to the White House" that is much more a spoof of Trump than of Mary Poppins (although it uses some familiar Poppins songs). Artist Tom Richmond has proudly put portions in his blog, starting with the two-page 'splash' (reproduced somewhat too small for readability) and additional smaller-but-more-readable excerpts: #1, #2, and #3 and there may be even more to come...
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:17 PM on March 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:17 PM on March 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
Wow - I haven't looked at a MAD magazine in literally decades; it's fascinating to see how consistent the look of the art is! I wouldn't have been surprised if those panels had been signed by Mort Drucker.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:40 PM on March 4, 2019
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:40 PM on March 4, 2019
Richmond got the gig pretty much because he proved he could do the work of two men... Drucker and Jack Davis. And some aspects of the mag's look have changed, but it still gets regular contributions by 50+ year veterans Al Jaffee and Sergio Aragonés.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:26 PM on March 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:26 PM on March 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
Buttilooper-Hickengieg 2020!
posted by GrammarMoses at 6:39 AM on March 5, 2019
posted by GrammarMoses at 6:39 AM on March 5, 2019
I've emailed back and forth with Richmond, and while I would bet he hears it all the time, he's modest when people compare him to Davis or Drucker.
MAD recently rebooted (with higher production values) and I've gotta say, it's damn near Golden Age again.
posted by notsnot at 8:06 AM on March 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
MAD recently rebooted (with higher production values) and I've gotta say, it's damn near Golden Age again.
posted by notsnot at 8:06 AM on March 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Is Wendi Deng the new Alma Mahler? She's seriously dating Putin now?!?
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:10 PM on March 5, 2019
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:10 PM on March 5, 2019
Jerry Nadler
You son of a gun
The Eighty One
See how they run
The first to go
Is Roger Stone
The Eighty One
Will all be gone
It's everyone
but Kellyanne
The nightmare
Will be soon undone
posted by growabrain at 2:21 PM on March 5, 2019
You son of a gun
The Eighty One
See how they run
The first to go
Is Roger Stone
The Eighty One
Will all be gone
It's everyone
but Kellyanne
The nightmare
Will be soon undone
posted by growabrain at 2:21 PM on March 5, 2019
"It's laughable that anyone would take a convicted liar like Cohen at his word, and pathetic to see him given yet another opportunity to spread his lies."
-White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders
He's only a convicted liar because he confessed...so should the court have taken him at his word?
posted by nubs at 2:47 PM on March 5, 2019
-White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders
He's only a convicted liar because he confessed...so should the court have taken him at his word?
posted by nubs at 2:47 PM on March 5, 2019
I've tried reformulating this post a bunch of times re: SHS; a post in the blue called her out for a lack of self introspection (or something) but I think that doesn't go far enough.
I can't decide if SHS has neural cut-outs where she just choose not to think and this is just a robot speaker programed into her through her handlers, or if she actually manages to convince herself that what she says means anything and agrees with it?
The heights of contortion that her eyebrows are now capable of... hopefully?... suggests it might be the former and her eyebrows are increasingly signalling for help.
posted by porpoise at 7:26 PM on March 5, 2019
I can't decide if SHS has neural cut-outs where she just choose not to think and this is just a robot speaker programed into her through her handlers, or if she actually manages to convince herself that what she says means anything and agrees with it?
The heights of contortion that her eyebrows are now capable of... hopefully?... suggests it might be the former and her eyebrows are increasingly signalling for help.
posted by porpoise at 7:26 PM on March 5, 2019
Wendi Deng - iirc, there were paparazzi shots of Deng and Putin/ Putin-adjacent-people on a bunch of yachts a bunch of times and shit for a little while.
It's probably just oligarchs gonna party with their own kind (geez, I'd love a "real oligarch" party to invite Trump - then humiliate him. Of course, Trump wouldn't get it until the papers overwhelmingly made him confront the fact).
posted by porpoise at 7:30 PM on March 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
It's probably just oligarchs gonna party with their own kind (geez, I'd love a "real oligarch" party to invite Trump - then humiliate him. Of course, Trump wouldn't get it until the papers overwhelmingly made him confront the fact).
posted by porpoise at 7:30 PM on March 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
geez, I'd love a "real oligarch" party to invite Trump - then humiliate him
I’m pretty sure this whole timeline is basically Dinner For Schmucks gone horribly wrong
posted by schadenfrau at 7:47 PM on March 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
I’m pretty sure this whole timeline is basically Dinner For Schmucks gone horribly wrong
posted by schadenfrau at 7:47 PM on March 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
live from another galaxy... it's Glox News
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:34 PM on March 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:34 PM on March 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Two months after declaring all U.S. troops are leaving Syria, President Donald Trump wrote to members of Congress that he now agrees "100%" with keeping a military presence in Syria.
If we could just tie Trump to a generator the American people could watch television All The Time, instead of only being able to when the wind blows if they had to rely on those windmill thingies.
posted by Stoneshop at 11:22 PM on March 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
If we could just tie Trump to a generator the American people could watch television All The Time, instead of only being able to when the wind blows if they had to rely on those windmill thingies.
posted by Stoneshop at 11:22 PM on March 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Tim Cooked-Apple restores double the amount of hearts
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:02 PM on March 6, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:02 PM on March 6, 2019 [2 favorites]
Robert Mueller 5 Day Devotional Candle with Rhinestones (via Lawfare)
posted by Little Dawn at 10:30 PM on March 6, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Little Dawn at 10:30 PM on March 6, 2019 [3 favorites]
Tim Apple, Jeff Amazon, and Michael Dell walk into a bar ...
posted by petebest at 5:08 AM on March 7, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by petebest at 5:08 AM on March 7, 2019 [1 favorite]
Costello said the story is “not accurate,” but declined to be more specific “until I am convinced the attorney-client privilege has been waived. Unless Michael Cohen has waived attorney client privilege, I am prohibited from making any comment about this.”
Costello said that he and Jeffrey Citron, another attorney in the same firm, had an attorney-client relationship with Cohen.
Why do I have this image of all these lawyers slipping each other $5 at various points in their conversations, so that attorney-client privilege can be claimed?
posted by nubs at 7:28 AM on March 7, 2019 [2 favorites]
Costello said that he and Jeffrey Citron, another attorney in the same firm, had an attorney-client relationship with Cohen.
Why do I have this image of all these lawyers slipping each other $5 at various points in their conversations, so that attorney-client privilege can be claimed?
posted by nubs at 7:28 AM on March 7, 2019 [2 favorites]
Wondering how to work "20 for 2020" and "Clown Car" into the same snide remark about the 2020 Democratic Presidential primaries.
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:19 AM on March 7, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:19 AM on March 7, 2019 [1 favorite]
Why do I have this image of all these lawyers slipping each other $5 at various points in their conversations, so that attorney-client privilege can be claimed?
put a dollar in my pocket
posted by BungaDunga at 9:13 AM on March 7, 2019 [3 favorites]
put a dollar in my pocket
posted by BungaDunga at 9:13 AM on March 7, 2019 [3 favorites]
Barack Obama ignited a firestorm of controversy on Wednesday by demanding to see Trump’s elementary-school diploma.
Speaking to reporters in Washington, Obama called on Trump to prove “once and for all” that he had completed a K-through-five program.
“While the U.S. Constitution does not require the President to have graduated from fifth grade, it would still be nice to know that he had done so,” Obama said.
By insisting on the release of Trump’s diploma, Obama joined a growing movement of so-called schoolers, who contend that Trump never attended school.
Schoolers’ demands to see documentation of Trump’s elementary-school attendance have yet to sway the White House, which has released only a short version of Trump’s second-grade report card, with the grades completely redacted.
/Borowitz
posted by growabrain at 11:40 AM on March 7, 2019 [5 favorites]
Speaking to reporters in Washington, Obama called on Trump to prove “once and for all” that he had completed a K-through-five program.
“While the U.S. Constitution does not require the President to have graduated from fifth grade, it would still be nice to know that he had done so,” Obama said.
By insisting on the release of Trump’s diploma, Obama joined a growing movement of so-called schoolers, who contend that Trump never attended school.
Schoolers’ demands to see documentation of Trump’s elementary-school attendance have yet to sway the White House, which has released only a short version of Trump’s second-grade report card, with the grades completely redacted.
/Borowitz
posted by growabrain at 11:40 AM on March 7, 2019 [5 favorites]
Law & Crime: CNN’s Image of Manafort Judge T.S. Ellis Is Actually One of a Federal Judge Who’s Been Dead Since 2006 (pic)
posted by Doktor Zed at 2:49 PM on March 7, 2019
posted by Doktor Zed at 2:49 PM on March 7, 2019
WaPo, President Trump autographed Bibles for survivors of the Alabama tornado outbreak
An update on this story [via @sarahcpr]:
You guys... He...he signed *the covers*
somebody get Fred Clark on the line, there's no way this isn't a parallel to some scene in the Left Behind series
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:01 PM on March 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
An update on this story [via @sarahcpr]:
You guys... He...he signed *the covers*
somebody get Fred Clark on the line, there's no way this isn't a parallel to some scene in the Left Behind series
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:01 PM on March 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
President Trump autographed Bibles for survivors of the Alabama tornado outbreak
The perfect action for the declared Pope of the Prosperity Gospel.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:28 PM on March 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
The perfect action for the declared Pope of the Prosperity Gospel.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:28 PM on March 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
For those keeping track, the conversion rate is 1 Shine = 25 Scaramucci's.
posted by Xyanthilous P. Harrierstick at 4:28 PM on March 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Xyanthilous P. Harrierstick at 4:28 PM on March 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
More intrigue in Cindy Yang / Trump tale. She seems to have been active in an org overseen by the Chinese Communist Party’s United Front. The Florida branch of the China Council for the Promotion of Peaceful Reunification (pushes Beijing line on Taiwan)
Is there a happy ending for Trump in this?
posted by nubs at 6:49 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
Is there a happy ending for Trump in this?
posted by nubs at 6:49 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
Oh, I expect he's paid for quite a few happy endings.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:00 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:00 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
How many Brexiteers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: One to promise a dazzlingly bright future and another one to screw it up.
posted by Doktor Zed at 11:10 AM on March 10, 2019 [10 favorites]
Two: One to promise a dazzlingly bright future and another one to screw it up.
posted by Doktor Zed at 11:10 AM on March 10, 2019 [10 favorites]
His budget request reportedly includes a 70 percent cut to the Office of Renewable Energy and Energy Efficiency.
Would that be Trump's mirror signalling we shouldn't renew Trump?
posted by Stoneshop at 1:30 PM on March 10, 2019
Would that be Trump's mirror signalling we shouldn't renew Trump?
posted by Stoneshop at 1:30 PM on March 10, 2019
Tweeter-in-Chief: Always seeking to go one unnecessary step further, when often old and simpler is far better.
Lord knows he's familiar with "old and simple."
posted by wenestvedt at 9:57 AM on March 12, 2019 [1 favorite]
Lord knows he's familiar with "old and simple."
posted by wenestvedt at 9:57 AM on March 12, 2019 [1 favorite]
Deal or No Deal: Brexit Edition will be the end of us all.
posted by ZeusHumms at 1:12 PM on March 12, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by ZeusHumms at 1:12 PM on March 12, 2019 [1 favorite]
Everytime Trump refers to 'little shifty Schiff,' all I can hear is that it's time to Get Schwifty (Rick & Morty, NSFW) in here, especially when there's news like Adam Schiff: Evidence Available Already Shows That Trump Should Be Indicted
posted by Little Dawn at 6:41 PM on March 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Little Dawn at 6:41 PM on March 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
Hey, do you need an emetic? No? Too bad:
Donald Trump takes off his hat at Mar-a-lago - forgetting he's not wearing his toupee. [Video on twitter]
Not 100% sure this is real, but hey, what's reality these days, anyway?
posted by PontifexPrimus at 3:56 AM on March 13, 2019
Donald Trump takes off his hat at Mar-a-lago - forgetting he's not wearing his toupee. [Video on twitter]
Not 100% sure this is real, but hey, what's reality these days, anyway?
posted by PontifexPrimus at 3:56 AM on March 13, 2019
Well his hand clips through his "head" so no, it's not real. Or the bigger story is not that he's bald, but that he's a ghost.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 5:12 AM on March 13, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by EndsOfInvention at 5:12 AM on March 13, 2019 [2 favorites]
That last joke still tastes bad, so in light of the recent Manafort sentencing, I'm going to use one I had saved up before the Hyuckening:
Go directly TO JAILposted by Arson Lupine at 9:14 AM on March 13, 2019 [5 favorites]
DO NOT PASS GRU
DO NOT COLLECT $42 MILLION
I now want to pitch a TV show about white collar criminals who engage in fraud, financial shenanigans, and some light treason, and call it “Blameless Life”. Think Breaking Bad but less consequences.
posted by nubs at 9:26 AM on March 13, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by nubs at 9:26 AM on March 13, 2019 [6 favorites]
The number of Democrats running for President is too damn high!
posted by petebest at 9:01 AM on March 14, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by petebest at 9:01 AM on March 14, 2019 [1 favorite]
Idly brainstorming how stories about this time period will be told in the future:
- SNL skit
- Simpsons Episode
- Hit Broadway musical
- Comedy Central series
- Netflix Series
- HBO Movie
- Bollywood period piece
- Opera
- Allegory referencing the supernatural
- Blackadder Series 5
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:06 AM on March 14, 2019
- SNL skit
- Simpsons Episode
- Hit Broadway musical
- Comedy Central series
- Netflix Series
- HBO Movie
- Bollywood period piece
- Opera
- Allegory referencing the supernatural
- Blackadder Series 5
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:06 AM on March 14, 2019
It's the Great Brexit, Charlie Brown!
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:07 AM on March 14, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:07 AM on March 14, 2019 [3 favorites]
@realDonaldTrump
VETO!
Shhh, no one tell him that's not how you veto a bill.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:25 PM on March 14, 2019 [6 favorites]
VETO!
Shhh, no one tell him that's not how you veto a bill.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:25 PM on March 14, 2019 [6 favorites]
man that's an embarassing typo
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:29 PM on March 14, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:29 PM on March 14, 2019 [8 favorites]
@realDonaldTrump
VETO!
I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!!!
posted by Doktor Zed at 1:01 PM on March 14, 2019 [3 favorites]
VETO!
I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!!!
posted by Doktor Zed at 1:01 PM on March 14, 2019 [3 favorites]
UNLESS IT ALSO CALLS FOR A NEW SPECIAL COUNSEL to investigate DOJ handling of HILLARY CLINTON EMAILS and CARTER PAGE FISA warrant. !!!
"We'll impeach Trump and Hillary in the same resolution, okay?"
posted by BungaDunga at 1:04 PM on March 14, 2019 [9 favorites]
"We'll impeach Trump and Hillary in the same resolution, okay?"
posted by BungaDunga at 1:04 PM on March 14, 2019 [9 favorites]
Why couldn't it have been Twitter instead of Facebook that locked up this week?
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:06 AM on March 15, 2019
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:06 AM on March 15, 2019
Idly brainstorming how stories about this time period will be told in the future
Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Cohen and Ocasio-Cortez at Oversight
posted by nubs at 8:23 AM on March 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
Cohen and Ocasio-Cortez at Oversight
posted by nubs at 8:23 AM on March 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
On Donald Trump and Christchurch: (Chauncey DeVega, Salon)
Words are weapons. Those weapons can be lethal.My Brain:
Words can go both ways, aka 'tiny hands'.posted by ZeusHumms at 10:20 AM on March 15, 2019
Remember when the president had a stylish sense of humor?
Obama Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis
posted by growabrain at 10:01 PM on March 15, 2019
Obama Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis
posted by growabrain at 10:01 PM on March 15, 2019
Not megathread-related, but I spent WAY too much time and effort making this comment. Foop, much?
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:28 PM on March 16, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:28 PM on March 16, 2019 [1 favorite]
I’m glad to hear President Trump is now egging on nationalists and racists! Bold, direct action. 🥚 🍳
Actually I may have read that wrong
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:34 AM on March 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
Actually I may have read that wrong
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:34 AM on March 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
State Attorney General Letitia James, a Democrat, detailed her case against the foundation in a 37-page court filing in a lawsuit that seeks $2.8 million in restitution and an order banning Trump and his three eldest children from running any New York charities for 10 years. - AP News
It's Tiffany's time to shine.
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:06 AM on March 17, 2019 [3 favorites]
It's Tiffany's time to shine.
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:06 AM on March 17, 2019 [3 favorites]
And maybe she knows it? She's spending her spring break in Serbia.
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:07 AM on March 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:07 AM on March 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
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posted by oneswellfoop at 5:34 PM on February 17, 2019 [1 favorite]