🎵Fucking fucks, fucking fucks, fuck this fucking shit September 17, 2020 12:01 PM   Subscribe

Title is sung to the tune of Jingle Bells. The Molerats household discovered yesterday that "fucking fuck" has the cadence of "Jingle Bells", and a new wildfire/COVID/etc. anthem was born. Please share your verses and other miscellaneous fucks here.

Our original half-verse, as I recall it:

Poking through the fridge
It's the apocalypse
I need to find the goddamn wine
Fuck this fucking shit!

OH!
Fucking fuck, fucking fuck...
posted by nakedmolerats to MetaFilter-Related at 12:01 PM (112 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

Yeah, I am here for this. So burned out. Rereading Dhalgren while my actual world turns into Bellona.
posted by Lonnrot at 12:05 PM on September 17 [9 favorites]


I’m just so fucking sad and angry, and I find myself lashing out any time I interact with people. I’ve spent my whole life working in service, literally giving blood and sweat to helping others and I just see this rot of hate and racism and fucking GREED all around me. We have enough food, houses, technology, knowledge, all of it, for EVERYONE and we still fucking argue. I’m so damn embarrassed to be an American now, and even though I’ve been a left wing pacifist my whole life one of my fondest memories is helping my Purple Heart war vet grandpa raise and lower his service flag outside his house on holidays.

Now everything is on fire, I haven’t touched another human since March, I’m in 100k+ student loan debt and if it wasn’t for California having Some state run healthcare I wouldn’t be able to be going into the dentist to handle a wisdom tooth abscess tomorrow. I just want everyone to be kind to each other, and I can’t even do that myself all the time anymore.

Thank you for coming to my TED rant.
posted by Drumhellz at 12:06 PM on September 17 [38 favorites]


Oh man, now this song is stuck in my head. Although I guess it's better than what was stuck there before, which was "Beach Baby" by The First Class (don't even ask).
posted by holborne at 12:27 PM on September 17 [4 favorites]


Pacing in the house
Like a tiger in a cage
We still can't visit friends
O barely sustained rage!

I'm tired of everything
like society's decay
racist cops still roam the streets
and winter's on the way.

Ohhhhhhhh...
It's getting cold,
my poor dog's old,
and I'm still unemployed.
Fascist regimes
weird Covid Dreams
I'm getting paranoo-id.

My failing old car
Stupid AG Barr
Things look really bleak.
I'm relying on
Bupropion
To get me through the week

posted by Gray Duck at 1:17 PM on September 17 [39 favorites]


Catchy, but it's no "Jingle Rock Bell."
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:36 PM on September 17 [16 favorites]


Work is where I sleep
And sleep is where I work
I don't want to catch COVID
So I'm acting like a jerk

Don't you come too close
We've cases on the rise
We're goddamn Canadians
We're s'posed to empathize

Fucking fuck fucking fuck
I don't give a fuck
Stay the fuck away from me
And goodbye and good luck


[I'm actually not doing too badly, just cranky]
posted by wellred at 1:39 PM on September 17 [14 favorites]


Gen-X kids who grew up in Ontario and Western New York will remember The Polka Dot Door and its mascot The Polkaroo. All The Polkaroo could say was, “Polkaroo! Polkaroo!”

When things go wrong, my sister and I still say, “ Fuckaroo! Fuckaroo!”
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:40 PM on September 17 [8 favorites]


My emails are all late
Oh shit, a new headache
Do I need water or caffeine?
Please give a bitch a break!
OH! Fucking fuck...

posted by nakedmolerats at 1:42 PM on September 17 [9 favorites]


Oh man, now this song is stuck in my head. Although I guess it's better than what was stuck there before, which was "Beach Baby" by The First Class (don't even ask).

Oh, I love that song, thank you for starting it in my head again.
posted by JanetLand at 2:02 PM on September 17 [1 favorite]


My kid has started school
It's virtual all the way
He stares at Google Meet
With other kids that cannot play

Teacher reads a book
Through a glowing screen
Shows images of kindergarten
That he'll never see

OH

Fucking fuck, fucking fuck
my kid is five years old
I don't know what we'll do
when it gets real cold (hey!)

fucking fuck, fucking fuck
winter's on its way
dark and cold, ten below
this is not okay

posted by castlebravo at 2:14 PM on September 17 [11 favorites]


Catchy, but it's no "Jingle Rock Bell."

For this, we substitute "Fuck That Shit":

Fuck That Shit Fuck
Shit That Fuck

That Shit Fuck Shit
Shit Shit That

etc.
posted by Kabanos at 2:27 PM on September 17 [15 favorites]


Fuck that
posted by Gorgik at 3:03 PM on September 17 [5 favorites]


I can't do it.

I want to write one about Hurricane Sally ripping off the roof of our beach house that my great-grandfather built in 1930. The tune that works best is "Mustang Sally", but I can't put together the lines.
posted by Midnight Skulker at 3:35 PM on September 17 [6 favorites]


The past couple of weeks have been a real shitshow. My father and stepmother had to get tested for COVID 3 weeks ago because one of the members of their church tested positive. That test came back negative. The next week, Dad starts feeling under the weather (all over body aches, low appetite) and they get tested again. This time, it's positive - for both of them.

They've been isolating at home, having groceries and other necessities delivered to the house. So far so good, right? Wrong. A few days ago Dad calls me to tell me that my stepmother has been admitted to the hospital with a bad case of pneumonia. She'll have to stay there for the next few days while they treat her, and because Dad has COVID he isn't allowed to visit her in the hospital. They can only talk over the phone for brief periods.

I hate this so fucking much.
posted by Roger Pittman at 3:53 PM on September 17 [18 favorites]


Rereading Dhalgren while my actual world turns into Bellona.

That's, uh, pretty impressive, Lonnrot - I'm not sure I would have the bandwidth to tackle a writer as dense as Delany right now . . .
posted by soundguy99 at 4:13 PM on September 17




F__king f_cks,
F__king f_cks,
F_ck those f__king f_cks
F_ck the f_ck off, f__king f_cks
You f_cked our f__king world.

Freedom has been took
"Votes don't count" say crooks
My ballot lost: from mailbox tossed to
USPS' BS nook

Granny got a cough
From shoppers with masks off
She can't breathe / hundred-four degrees
"Conspiracy" they scoff

California's set alight
Midday amber light
Hazy skies: three thousand miles
Insta-filter-like

F__king f_cks,
F__king f_cks,
F_ck those f__king f_cks
F_ck the f_ck off, f__king f_cks
You f_cked our f__king world.

My startup much disrupt
In bubbles they're now trapped
Data cached on sequel tables
Hopelessly corrupt

The Fasch might come for me
The Fasch might come for thee
Q denies he trolls "both sides"
"Enslaved" now means "free"

Tweets and Faux News
Old Man gets confused
After Tweetin' rings up Putin
"For sure I'll collude."

[Redacted] while black
[Redacted] while brown
Can do no right unless skin's white
It's supreme in our town

Single bathroom sign
And a desperate line
We're more alike than they'd like
Still infighting just fine

Billionaires on Mars
Crash self-driving cars
Caught Covid goobers driving Hubert
Without insurance card

Fucking fucks, fucking fucks, fuck these fucking fucks...
posted by k3ninho at 5:01 PM on September 17 [7 favorites]




2020, you thought you had plans?
Maybe travel to faraway lands?
Fuck that shit, Brenda!
Here's what's on the agenda:
'Staying home, wanking, washing your hands'
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:24 PM on September 17 [8 favorites]


I haven’t touched another human since March

I think I went five months without physical contact. It was really terrible and frankly, in hindsight, more unhealthy than the risk of covid was.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:07 PM on September 17 [5 favorites]


I've only been touched (mostly briefly except for the dentist) by medical professionals since March. I hate it so much. I daydream about hugging all the time. But I don't want to die or kill someone just for a hug either. I hate that the consequences are THAT HIGH.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:10 PM on September 17 [3 favorites]


One of my oldest and dearest friends died yesterday. She had been fighting cancer for a couple of years; she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017 and fought through that, only to be told last year that she had pancreatic cancer. She got through chemo in April or May and then surprised everyone by saying she'd gotten into a Ph.D. program at UNC and up and moved from Connecticut to North Carolina. She was relentlessly positive throughout, and it seemed like just maybe she had beaten the shitty odds. Yesterday there was a post on her Facebook page saying that she had passed away. She was 57 years old.

Suzanne and I had been friends since we were 12 years old. We were theater kids and grew up doing shows together for years. Almost every happy memory of the second half of my childhood includes her. She was the first girl I ever had a crush on, and even though our relationship was always platonic, I always loved her.

Fuck cancer. Fuck 2020.
posted by briank at 6:12 PM on September 17 [43 favorites]


When I thought I had no more
Fucking fucks to give
My daughter has a fever
Though her test was negative

Now what? No insurance
and she's thinking it's all good
She'll be coughing in her mask while
Serving you your food - Oh!
posted by pH Indicating Socks at 6:20 PM on September 17 [3 favorites]


I just fucking can't
This year has done me in
In work I make no dent
In sight there is no end

My laptop every day
From 8 to 5 I stare
I don't do a fucking thing
I can't make myself care. Oh!
posted by bunderful at 6:33 PM on September 17 [4 favorites]


Just so fucking sick of this. In one of the longest / harshest lockdowns in the world and our numbers STILL aren't dropping.
posted by daybeforetheday at 8:48 PM on September 17 [2 favorites]


I can't do my job well and teach kindergarten well at the same time, I just can't, how is it that everyone else can do this?! And a friend's father-in-law just died in a wildfire, and forced sterilization is rearing its horrible head AGAIN, and the air in my city won't stop being hazardous, and I haven't hugged an adult since February, and I'm having complicated, cinematic nightmares about what might happen in December...and now you people have me humming Jingle Bells! Fuck!
posted by centrifugal at 11:23 PM on September 17 [4 favorites]


I can't do my job well and teach kindergarten well at the same time, I just can't, how is it that everyone else can do this?!

We're not doing it. We're just muddling through as best we can.
posted by medusa at 7:20 AM on September 18 [4 favorites]


Here's a fresh fuck:
2020 will probably kill off trick-or-treating for good.
.
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 7:38 AM on September 18 [2 favorites]


Cheeses.... slingshot those candy bombs at the little monsters...? (joke)

I'm exhausted by being everybody's helper. Everybody in my life is leaning on me for extra support plus I'm about out of money and received no unemployment because the minimal wage job was essential but only part time.

I get home and can do nothing but absolute necessities. The evil that's out there and has been emboldened by the demagogue has broken my hope. How do we even survive?
posted by mightshould at 8:49 AM on September 18 [1 favorite]


> Here's a fresh fuck:
2020 will probably kill off trick-or-treating for good.

Cheeses.... slingshot those candy bombs at the little monsters...? (joke)


Not a joke - there is a dude in Texas who came up with an idea for a "candy slide", using basic stuff you can get at a hardware store, which can let people hand out candy in a socially-distant way. He posted a video showing how to make it and how it works. (Basically it's a pipe or a chute set up at an angle and you stand at one end and the kid stands at the other end and you sling the candy down the chute. You can go crazy decorating it too.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:09 AM on September 18 [7 favorites]


2020 will probably kill off trick-or-treating for good

You say that like it's a bad thing.
posted by scruss at 11:00 AM on September 18 [4 favorites]


My sister's cancer is worse. Not responding to the immune-based treatment she was on after chemo didn't work. Spreading to new places. She's stopping treatment and moving to palliative care/symptom management. She's having some of the same symptoms that rtha was having before she died, down to being on the same meds and procedures. My sister's been one of the strongest, healthiest people I know. None of this is ok. I'm a mess and working on holding it together.

#fuckcancer and #fuckthisentirefuckingyear.
posted by gingerbeer at 2:35 PM on September 18 [38 favorites]


So I'm trying to make a list of 2020 so far, roughly in chronological order. Have I missed anything?

(I'm mostly leaving out Trump stuff since that's a different list; also has some Massachusetts things since that's where I live.)

Australian wildfires
Volcano eruption in Philippines
Flooding in Indonesia
Earthquakes in Turkey and the Caribbean
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle quit royal family
UK withdraws from European Union
Kobe Bryant dies
Locust swarm in East Africa
Trump impeached, acquitted
Harvey Weinstein convicted
Mass shooter in Nova Scotia kills 16
Coronavirus pandemic; 197,000 deaths in US as of September
Olympics cancelled
Kenny Rogers dies
George Floyd killing launches massive Black Lives Matter movement, major reckoning of American racism
Racist incident in Central Park where a white woman calls the cops on a Black man and lies about the situation
Ongoing protests for racial justice in many major cities
Two dams burst in Michigan
Polar vortex in May, causing some snow in New England
Pakistan airliner crash
John Lewis dies
Revelation of Russian bounties on US troops
Ghislaine Maxwell arrested
"Saharan" dust cloud over southeast US
Murder hornets
Explosion in Beirut
Giant jellyfish in Massachusetts
Toxic blue-green algae in Charles River, Boston
EEE in Massachusetts
A few shark sightings in Massachusetts
Temperature records broken in Death Valley
Temperature records broken in San Francisco
Salmonella outbreak
Wave of tarantulas in Colorado
Temperature drop of 70 degrees F in Colorado
Swamp rats in Texas
Jerry Falwell Jr. caught posting naughty pictures; revealed to be endorsing Trump in 2016 solely due to blackmail over said pictures; resigns
NBA and MLB boycott games (reduced schedule due to pandemic) to protest racial injustice
Close asteroid flyby
Derecho in Iowa
Fire tornadoes
Regular tornadoes in western Massachusetts
Chadwick Boseman dies
Kenosha shooting
Bizzare clusters of lightning strikes
US west coast wildfires
Hurricanes Isaias, Laura, Sally
posted by Melismata at 2:45 PM on September 18 [7 favorites]


I feel weird favoriting that, gingerbeer, but I'm so sorry.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 2:48 PM on September 18 [9 favorites]


CNBC is reporting the death of RBG, everyone.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/09/18/justice-ruth-bader-ginsburg-has-died.html

2020, I dunno.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 4:41 PM on September 18 [2 favorites]


There aren't enough fucking fucks to encompass... anything, anymore.
posted by curious nu at 4:44 PM on September 18 [1 favorite]


Not Ginsburg!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
posted by medusa at 4:47 PM on September 18 [5 favorites]


Welp.

Fuck.
posted by erratic meatsack at 4:48 PM on September 18


Oh FUCKING FUCK.
posted by inexorably_forward at 4:48 PM on September 18 [1 favorite]


Not enough fucks in the world tonight. Just devastating.
posted by Akhu at 4:50 PM on September 18 [1 favorite]


Fuck.
posted by soundguy99 at 5:29 PM on September 18


I'm pretty sure that I'm using rage to distract me from terror, and it probably won't work for long, but it's working now. I am so fucking angry. I probably need to shut my computer before my anger finds only-slightly-appropriate targets.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:45 PM on September 18 [1 favorite]


It's Saturday morning here in Japan, and I can't stop thinking about how bad things are about to get with three Trump appointees on the court ahead of the election, even against a backdrop of how unbelievably fucked everything already is.

And in 25 minutes, I have a class where I'm supposed to work with high school seniors on strategies for passing college entrance exams and touching up their personal statements for college entrance applications. Me, a person utterly without any hope left, gets to go into a room of 17-18 year old Japanese kids who are on the cusp of the next stage of their lives.

They deserve more than I can possibly give them at this moment.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:07 PM on September 18 [8 favorites]


Rosh Hashanah

i bear witness to no thing
more human than hate

i bear witness to no thing
more human than love

apples and honey
apples and honey

what is not lost
is paradise

- Lucille Clifton
posted by ChuraChura at 6:09 PM on September 18 [17 favorites]


RBG got me. So this is what a lump of grief and terror in your throat fees like.
posted by alygator at 6:35 PM on September 18 [6 favorites]


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
posted by rikschell at 7:20 PM on September 18 [2 favorites]


Fuck.
posted by beandip at 7:34 PM on September 18


Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck. Fuck fucking fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck FUCK fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Shitting fuck.
posted by biogeo at 8:49 PM on September 18 [2 favorites]


ITS A FUCK YOU FRIDAY

FOR EVERYONE

I NEED A VIRTUAL PANEL OF DRYWALL
posted by sixswitch at 8:54 PM on September 18 [3 favorites]


On top of everything else going on in the world, housing-related drama with an unstable landlord, and a job that’s keeping me busy 10+ hours a day working from home including weekends, my partner was diagnosed with stage IV cancer last week and I’m devastated.
posted by donatella at 9:12 PM on September 18 [18 favorites]


I can't do my job well and teach kindergarten well at the same time, I just can't, how is it that everyone else can do this?!

Nobody can. Nobody else can do this. Nobody can do any of this. We cannot go on. We go on. Beckett could never, in a million years, have written 2020. But he would have gotten close.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 10:23 PM on September 18 [6 favorites]


4.6 earthquake in Los Angeles about 40 min ago. I am used to rolling quakes -- this was a fucking whip crack shake.

I immediately repacked my emergency bag and put it in my car which unfortunately is in a garage under my building and there's no parking on the street right now otherwise I'd move it and risk a ticket. I am worried that me putting my expensive work-issued laptop down there was premature but I don't want to have to carry it along with my cat carrier if I need to leave.

I am afraid. I am very afraid. I have been through bad earthquakes. I was a mile from the epicenter of the 1994 Northridge quake. But I was little then. Now I am an adult with a cat and I am scared.

Trying to breathe. Trying to make sure I switch into calm mode anytime my cat comes near. She keeps going back and forth between hiding under small spaces and tentatively coming out to see what's what.

I don't like this timeline, I don't like this year, I don't like being in danger.

No sleeping tonight. Will see if my parents will let me drive out to them in the morning. I'm afraid to even go to a store to get water. I should have stocked up like my mother always tells me to do and I always run out.

Always have water in your house and in your car. Always.
posted by Kitchen Witch at 12:41 AM on September 19 [10 favorites]


Oh! And my upstairs neighbors are legitimately heavy walkers and they keep making the floors and walls creak which sends both me and my cat into hunker down mode.

Should I put my iMac on the floor so it doesn't fall from my desk?

Trying not to be afraid.
posted by Kitchen Witch at 12:44 AM on September 19


donatella, I am so so sorry.

It’s such a small thing, compared to all of this. But Little eirias was assigned at her school to read a novel in which kids like herself are called the ‘r’ word. You’re not supposed to sympathize with it. But give me a break, she is eight fucking years old and that is way too young to ask someone to be an object lesson for others (if it is ever okay!). And now, yet again, I have to find some polite way to ask another grown-ass person to consider that my child is a human being.
posted by eirias at 4:00 AM on September 19 [6 favorites]


My only sister died a year ago today. I only have two immediate family members left--my father and brother--and neither one is in the best of health. The only extended family I've had contact with I finally had to cut off for being rabid Trump zombies. It's getting kind of lonely.

Also, I have a big fuck-off this-is-not-a-drill midlife-crisis birthday happening next month, and I am not coping well.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:37 AM on September 19 [11 favorites]


To the tune of Oh Holy Night

Oh holy shit,
they killed off Bader Ginsburg
the people writing this season are shite

I’m terrified
of getting sick this winter
and all my colleagues will say serves me right

It seems like everybody has run out of
compassion and the will to give a fuck

Pass me the cheese
and half a glass of whiskey

I should be writing
I should, I should

I should be writing
I should, I should
posted by The Last Sockpuppet at 4:44 AM on September 19 [3 favorites]


To the tune of 7 Nation Army:

Fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck fuck
Fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck
posted by h00py at 5:29 AM on September 19 [5 favorites]


i don't wike it
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:52 AM on September 19 [1 favorite]


I've been singing "Girlfriend with corona, I know, I know, it's serious" all week.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:01 AM on September 19 [10 favorites]


This year has been one of death, illness, uncertainty, and fear. I lost numerous loved ones - including three in just one week in July. I couldn't see them before they died, or gather with family for comfort and closure because of Covid. I almost lost my job, and now I live in fear of being laid off in the next wave and becoming destitute. I was harassed for months by abusive landlords, and then was illegally evicted. I worry that they're going to continue to harass me from afar. I am alone all day, everyday. And it seems like so many others are in worse situations and there's nothing I can do to help. And then there's the awful political situation globally + climate change which keeps me up at night worrying about what's going to happen to us all.
posted by Stoof at 10:54 AM on September 19 [6 favorites]


My ancient laptop died last night. I know it’s not as bad as people getting cancer and dying, but there is less than a zero chance of replacing it or the files on it.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:37 AM on September 19 [3 favorites]


Years ago when my siblings and I were all teens or tweens and still living at home, my brother swore mildly at the dinner table and our dad, who was generally not prone to this sort of reaction and must have been having a bad day or something, flew off the handle and angrily berated him at some length. When he'd finished having his say there were a few seconds of awkward silence and then my little sister said, almost in a whisper, "Hey mom...fuckity fuck fuck." We all absolutely lost it, and to this day, "Hey mom...fuckity fuck fuck" is a family in-joke.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:57 AM on September 19 [20 favorites]


Underpants Monster I don't want to make assumptions about your level of technical expertise but often with dead laptops a simple HDD caddy that costs less than $10 can be used to move the contents to a new machine: example.

Sorry, just... this is a whole thread of things I can't do anything about, and yours was maybe a potential exception.
posted by Ryvar at 12:51 PM on September 19 [5 favorites]


Thanks Ryvar! Hopefully something like that can help down the road.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:54 PM on September 19 [2 favorites]


Stoof, so sorry you’re having such a hard time. You, too, The Underpants Monster.
posted by Bella Donna at 1:45 PM on September 19 [1 favorite]


Since this election is bent on being a complete clusterfuck, I'm going to predict a massive earthquake sometime in the early am on November 3rd.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 3:16 PM on September 19 [1 favorite]


Melismata, I would remove the death of the known sexual assaulter. Seeing their death listed as one of the tragedies of 2020 has got to be a gut punch to many survivors.
posted by daybeforetheday at 6:31 PM on September 19 [3 favorites]


Thanks daybeforetheday, will do.

Fuck that list wasn’t up for a minute when I heard the news of RBG. And I’ll add the recent earthquake too. And two dead in a shooting in Rochester NY and what the fuck is going on 2020
posted by Melismata at 8:47 PM on September 19 [2 favorites]


Something that’s been just a part of the pile on. My immediate supervisor is a fitness freak who’s also into Joe Rogan. I’m fat, and have been fat for most of my life. I’m taking some steps towards doing something about it, but due to all sorts of fun spinal disc issues, it’s not going to be an overnight thing, nor would I be able to maintain any kind of strict calorie control diet (like in the past, I would get frustrated and go back to junk food).

After a summer of little jabs aimed at me in personal conversations that start off on school, he came back from his classes the other day proud that his students had “on their own” during a class debate arrived at the position that since Covid affects those with preexisting conditions and obesity, it’s not fair to “responsible” people to force them to alter their lifestyle for a disease that (according to Joe Rogan fan) is unlikely to make them seriously ill.

He’s my boss, and in the culture I’m in, anyone i were to bring it up to would just tell me, well, Ghidorah, you *are* fat, you should have lost weight years ago just in case a virus came along, what were you thinking.

Good times.
posted by Ghidorah at 2:33 AM on September 20 [23 favorites]


Asthma issues sent me to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack. Several weeks later we consented to join spouse's family for an outdoor dinner and they later complained to spouse because we would not touch anyone, wore our mask and sat six feet away from everyone else.

I'm officially done with spouse's family and told him if this virus kills me I expect to be privately cremated. No viewing. No Mass. The most he can do is scatter my ashes over the cemetery plot I never wanted nor asked for, that his parents purchased for me prior to our marriage.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:32 AM on September 20 [6 favorites]


Oh God, Ghidorah, this makes me want to commit so many crimes. Did you see Shrill? Even Dan Savage has moved past this kind of bullshit troglodyte philosophy. Or at least he's past admitting to it in public. I am not going to type the terrible things I am hoping for right now in re. your execrable boss, but I'm hoping them HARD.
posted by Don Pepino at 7:12 AM on September 20 [3 favorites]


I got fondled recently...at my mammogram :(

In many ways I am doing well and I am very lucky (work from home, live with spouse and kitties) but I never know from day to day what I'll be like when I wake up. some days I feel normal and motivated, others its just a dark cloud of doom hanging over me.

Ghidorah that is TERRIBLE and I'm so sorry your boss is such a major asshole.
posted by supermedusa at 10:07 AM on September 20 [4 favorites]


to all of you who have lost loved ones, my deepest sympathies.
posted by supermedusa at 10:14 AM on September 20


I won't complain. I don't have the chutzpah to complain. I have slipped through the cracks of this latest round of terror and outrage. I moved from one small town to another. My burden now is limited to wondering what happened to our household goods. The driver of the moving van disappeared three weeks ago. We're in our new house, away from the pandemic, away from the fires. We brought a bed, a few kitchen supplies, and couple of changes of clothes. The moving company assures us that they'll find the driver soon. It's been almost a month.

Our empty house echoes. My guitar sounds fine. I sit in the patio and look at the haze drifting over here from California and Oregon. My house in Oregon escaped the flames by half a mile, while Hell came out of the south and devoured two of the small towns where my ex-inlaws live. Thousands evacuated, hundreds of homes and businesses burned. The southeast US faces a relentless string of storms coming at them from the Atlantic. They are under seige, underwater.

I am impressed by the luck that let me slip in and out of the various versions of Hell now visiting us--I am singed but not burned because there is no god that sees fit to punish me for my sins. But I look ahead to worse times when the orange one's plans to convert us to an Idiokleptocracy come to fruition.

I am so sad to read in this string of the sorrows some of my fellow Mefites are enduring. Fuck cancer. I am a survivor of that goddam thing, so I resonate. Again Fuck Cancer. Covid brings a burden that equals the rising waters our brothers and sisters back east have to deal with. It erodes the fundamental need we have to congregate, to touch--I need to see your face.

My burden is nothing. I can't complain because all this is beyond outrage, too intense, even for fear. Hunker in the bunker? Maybe they are right.

Hang tough.
posted by mule98J at 11:13 AM on September 20 [9 favorites]


Well, my husband died. The bereavement counselor talked to me for a while and then she went on vacation. Then she called me back, about a month later, telling me she had a person to talk to me, who never called me. I'm like, it's a while now, but thanks? Been on my own for a while. She's so chipper!

And then my son is just "you just don't get it" because I won't buy into his conspiracy theories.

The cats will poop on the floor. And then they will not. They will like the treats.

I have lost weight and try to think about buying online, which is a hell. What should I do?

It's cold, and I have oil. So I can at least sleep at night under the quilt. But my dead husband isn't there, to be my snuggle bunny.

So fuck this shit.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 8:17 PM on September 20 [52 favorites]


Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, Marie.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:44 PM on September 20 [1 favorite]


I'm trying to phone bank for Biden and the waiting for a call to go through and then getting hung up on repeatedly is stressing me out so much that I'm going to get trained to text people, in addition to sending postcards. I feel like nothing I can do is enough because republicans are openly just going to cheat on a grand scale, and now I'm out of postcard stamps so no more cards for a few days.

RBG, my legal-writing idol, has passed, and instead of just getting to mourn her the first thing on our minds is how utterly terrifying having a third Trump appointee is.

I am having a terrible time getting my friends to discuss whether we can safely interact unmasked as I need some kind of human contact, but again being The Single One means I am (metaphorically) fucked and not a priority.

One of my cats is terminally ill. He's doing well right now, but the prognosis is poor. He also has anxiety issues at night that cause him to want attention, and make noise for it, so I'm having trouble sleeping.
posted by bile and syntax at 7:03 AM on September 21 [8 favorites]


My deepest condolences, Marie Mon Dieu. I've been thinking about you from time to time over the last couple of months and hoping you're holding up okay.
posted by biogeo at 7:26 AM on September 21 [1 favorite]


It would be nice if some of my other colleagues maybe expressed a shred of human sympathy with regards to my other colleague poaching all my credit all the time. Shitpuppets.
posted by The Last Sockpuppet at 12:40 PM on September 21 [2 favorites]


I’m so sorry, Marie Mon Dieu.
posted by clew at 5:37 PM on September 21 [1 favorite]


Not handling being caught in this death trap super great, but, just like Hercules in “Hercules Against the Moon Men,” “I'm still doing it. Still smiling.”

As always, my sympathy to hearts that grieve and best wishes for love and peace to those who struggle with THE WEIGHT.
posted by ob1quixote at 11:41 AM on September 23


I was supposed to be leaving the house to get to the airport in a few hours, but yesterday, after we'd packed our suitcases, after we'd checked in for our flights online, Denmark and Britain have cancelled their travel corridor arrangements. So I'd have to quarantine for 2 weeks on coming back. Which would lose me my job. If I'd already been there, I couldn't have helped it and work would have had to deal. But because it hit the day before I was due to leave, there is no way I can justify it. This is the second failed trip - we were supposed to go in April originally. Then in May/June my granddad died and there was a funeral. Which we also had to miss. Now I don't have any holiday left until the next tax year, so I'm looking at not getting to see my family for another six months at least. It'll have been a year and a half by the time I even get the opportunity. Maybe.
posted by Dysk at 9:04 PM on September 24 [5 favorites]


Oh, and this will be my first Christmas just with my partner in the UK, rather than with my family in Denmark, due to not being able to take meaningful holiday in December in my current job. I was very much planning on using this trip to stock up on all the uniquely Danish things that would make this Christmas familiar and bearable, but oh well.
posted by Dysk at 10:25 PM on September 24 [3 favorites]


Yeah, there are people with much bigger problems right now, but I'm not a happy bunny.
posted by Dysk at 10:25 PM on September 24 [2 favorites]


My deepest sympathies to everyone, especially Marie Mon Dieu. I mean, tragedy happens but personal tragedy in the midst of all this ... fucking hopeless, meaningless, awful shit... I just can’t even...

My own fucking fuckery, well in addition to a bunch of other fuckery, are my kids. I can deal with my travel plans cancelled, the economic pressures, the mask wearing and the ordeal of going grocery shopping, the fact that everything fun in the world is closed. I can deal with all that.

What I can’t deal with is the fact that my children have lost their childhood. Or big parts of it at least. All those things we all experienced that showed us how awesome life could be — summer camps, school dances, first kisses, new friends, Halloween, Little League — those are impossible for my kids. They are very aware of the existential threats of climate change, police terrorism on minorities like themselves, a fascist takeover, the tanking economy. And they act out accordingly and predictably which I understand, but I still need to correct behavior and come down hard as a disciplinarian which just increases the bad energy and negativity these kids should be relatively protected from.

A generation of lost childhood.

All because a fucking dumbass president and his dumbass cronies failed/continue to fail to be leaders or promote competence.

Such a stupid shame. So much sacrifice required of innocents who should not have to sacrifice.

I hate this.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:16 PM on September 24 [11 favorites]


Like, I love my kids more than my own life. Now I think of all those people who choose to not have kids because how do you justify bringing new human lives into a world that’s so fucked up? Which was always a valid point. But I chose hope. And now I have regrets about that decision.

Very personally, this is the most unspeakably awful thing that Trump and his terrible supporters, some of whom are once close family members, have inflicted on me. I love my amazing, beautiful children and I will never ever forgive or forget what these fuckers have done.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:28 PM on September 24 [7 favorites]


Today the name of the person who suffered a serious brain injury in Wednesday's protest here in Asheville was released. Chad Nesbitt, former chair of the county Republican party. I feel like nobody white I talk to wants to understand what this could trigger around here, what kind of arsenal his core people have, that this city is actually completely surrounded by angry armed nuts who hate us and many of our good cops have quit this year.

I had to go the VA this morning. I talked to a dozen black vets who see what I see. They are not going to roll over. Nuff said.

I am not chicken little.

He dies- we give them a martyr.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 9:18 AM on September 25 [4 favorites]


The fucking fuckest thing I've seen recently is the sudden release of bodycam footage from the Breonna Taylor shooting, conveniently edited to show only the injured cop being carried to "safety" by other cops.

According to the NYT there was no bodycam footage of the raid, and yet suddenly, after the verdicts, it turns out there was.

Fucking fuck, fucking fuck, fucking fuck this racist police state.
posted by grumpybear69 at 3:24 PM on September 25 [1 favorite]


god damn it I know I am supposed to be grateful to have a job in this economy and pandemic etc but I pray for a swift and merciful death every single day that I am working there and always include, in these prayers, that I am flexible on both the swiftness and the mercy, so long as I'm too dead for my manager to Slack me.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:41 PM on September 25 [5 favorites]


Suck my big fat butt
I try to take a cab
Because the buses are
A virus laden trap

The cabbie knows my name
And tries to take a dump
Into my ears because he is
A fan of Donald Trump! Oh...
posted by The Last Sockpuppet at 1:08 PM on September 26 [2 favorites]


I really need to scream, but I don't have a place/time when that's remotely appropriate, so I'm just going to silently scream here. FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
posted by mixedmetaphors at 12:55 PM on September 27


A giant “fuck you” to all the power-hungry, greedy, racist, xenophobic people of the world, but even more giant hugs to all of you. Be gentle with yourselves. And know that internet strangers care about you!
posted by sucre at 1:10 PM on September 27 [2 favorites]


Here in the Netherlands, the second wave has started.
We're not ready. And some people have turned out to be covidiots.
Fuck.
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:16 PM on September 27


I'm just depressed, tired of being depressed, tired of my hair falling out everywhere, tired of not being able to go out without fear, Blast Hardcheese sums up work well above for me as well, and I am ESPECIALLY tired of not being able to talk to my friends. A few of them surface very briefly once every few months and then disappear again.

I have been trying to make conversation with the crush (who at least will write back, others aren't doing much of that) but this hasn't gone terribly well the last few weeks and especially not this week. I feel like we just can't have any conversation any more. I throw out something, he says it's fine and then the conversation falls flat. He does nothing but work, somehow he's never seen any of the pop culture stuff I have or vice versa and this week I can't even send him something he's normally find hilarious because well, I guess even dirty jokes aren't funny to him any more. I swear it was never that bad in person.

Yes, I know everyone's depressed, but WE'RE NOT GOING TO STAY FRIENDS, ANY OF US, IF PEOPLE CAN'T EFFING TEXT. We NEED regular interactions and I want to ask if we can start some and I especially love this idea, but if I get up the nerve to ask, I strongly suspect people will just ignore my asking and then I will get even madder at them all.

I'm somewhat about ready to give up on trying, except I know what happens when I don't and the answer is NOTHING and it all gets worse, so....
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:50 PM on September 27 [1 favorite]


I haven’t emailed my best friend back since May. Every day I say I’m going to, but then I can’t think of how to apologize for the long absence so I put it off until the next day and now it’s almost October.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:10 PM on September 27 [7 favorites]


jenfullmoon, you pretty much summed up how I feel about my interaction with friends over the past few months. The feeling of putting out the effort without getting the emotional reward is exhausting. Which leads into a loop, because why put out the effort? Then you come more exhausted, more depressed, more sunk into your work. And you're too tired to think about breaking the loop.

I don't have an answer, but I hear you.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:21 AM on September 28 [1 favorite]


I haven’t emailed my best friend back since May. Every day I say I’m going to, but then I can’t think of how to apologize for the long absence so I put it off until the next day and now it’s almost October.

One of mine has been disappearing off and on for years (actually, COVID has made her more likely to resurface) and god, I don't care any more as long as I hear from her sometime, because these days you never know. If that helps any. "Sorry. Life sucks. How's it going?" will cover it these days.

Totally agree, theBigRedKittyPurrs. I'm gonna bring it up with my therapist tomorrow (assuming she's well enough to talk to me). I seriously just wonder OVER AND OVER LIKE CONSTANTLY whether or not I should be taking the hint and not bothering to try any more. I think I'd even appreciate a "shut up you dumb bitch stop talking to me" than yet another ghosting. At least then I'd KNOW.
posted by jenfullmoon at 12:47 PM on September 28 [2 favorites]


This is a minor thing overall, but...my boss, who is the only other person on my team, took a full two weeks off during what is one of the absolute busiest parts of our year. I've been handling everything myself, and I am run absolutely ragged. Also, the people in my neighborhood doing DIY in their back gardens who've been running circular saws and drills and fucking jackhammers the entire time have not helped my stress levels or concentration or fatigue at all.

Don't get me wrong. I'm feeling incredibly lucky to have a stable job in the middle of all this. I just wish I didn't have two jobs' worth of work right at the moment.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:06 AM on September 29 [1 favorite]


So I slipped on the sidewalk yesterday morning as I was walking to work and I have fractured my kneecap. I am likely going to need surgery to repair it and that won't be until next Monday.

In the meantime I am at home (it took a guy from work and my roommate about 3 minutes to manouver me up all four flights of stairs to my place) and I have no idea right now about how or when I am going to a) bathe myself, b) get to and from work again, c) vote.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:50 AM on September 29 [5 favorites]


I feel like we just can't have any conversation any more. I throw out something, he says it's fine and then the conversation falls flat. He does nothing but work, somehow he's never seen any of the pop culture stuff I have or vice versa and this week I can't even send him something he's normally find hilarious because well, I guess even dirty jokes aren't funny to him any more.

I mean, I feel him on this. I don't have anything to say to anyone anymore that isn't terribly bleak and negative, and a lot of the time it's just better to say nothing. It's hard to find anything funny or fun. What even could anyone say that wouldn't seem pointless?
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:07 AM on September 29 [3 favorites]


Well, I just applied for an absentee ballot online. This does unfortunately trash my aspiration to be first in line on the first day of early voting in NYC to cast my vote to get rid of that fucker.

This also really trashes my autumn. I'm likely looking at most of October being holed up in my apartment, and then another few weeks of having to get a car service to drive me to work - which I'm going to feel stupid about, because I live only five fracking blocks away. But it would likely be a little too far for me to walk on a regular basis while my knee is still bust.

This is the third time I've had any kind of major body thing going on. Each time I go through a lot of frustration about "my body usually is able to do (x) but it can't right now". My biggest fear is - I live in a 4th floor walkup and I love my apartment; and I hope to God that I will be able to walk up the stairs again; my nightmare is that my knee is somehow never right again and I would have to move. Fortunately my boss has had this kind of fracture as well, and this kind of surgery, and he's able to take stairs easily enough (I didn't know he'd had this until he mentioned it, and he climbs stairs every day), and I'm being absolutely militant about keeping my leg as still as possible in the interval before surgery, in the hopes that it will keep everything where it's supposed to be and the surgery goes smoothly.

This still sucks, though.

Fortunately my roommate has had some experience with this kind of nursing - a year ago he was living with his parents to help them care for his 98-year-old grandma who had fairly severe arthritis. She needed this kind of mobility assistance getting up and down stairs and into and out of cars, and occasionally the kind of fluffing up of pillows or getting ice for joints or whatever. He's already told me that looking after me is way easier because I have much more of a range of mobility, and I'm also much better at communication (in addition to being 98, his grandmother would sometimes lapse into her native German). So he's being a pro at this. We've also made a plan for cooking through all the food I'll be getting from my CSA - friends have sent us a ton of recipes for one-pot stews, and have a sort of a plan for me to direct him at cooking many of the things I'd planned to cook. (We've joked that it will be like I'm Anthony Bourdain and he'll be one of the line chefs at Les Halles.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:34 AM on September 29 [1 favorite]


my nightmare is that my knee is somehow never right again and I would have to move.

Anecdata, but maybe it will help: my mother, who was then 75, fell down on Seventh Avenue and broke her kneecap and also needed surgery. She’s now 77 and totally fine with no restrictions on her movement at all. She had to go to physical therapy and all, but she said the worst part was that it was boring, not painful or anything. Ok, well, once she had trouble getting up after she lay down on the ground to get something that had rolled under the bed, but she’s 77 and did manage to get up (she lives alone).
posted by holborne at 2:07 PM on September 29 [1 favorite]


I just wanted to say thank you all for your kind words. I am going to talk to a bereavement counselor tomorrow, so I am not alone. I also have friends who write to me. Thank you for letting me getting my fucks out, sometimes you just gotta do it, right? This whole year fucking sucks. For a lot of us. I wish I could give you all a group hug.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 4:06 PM on September 29 [12 favorites]


Mr. Bad Example, I feel you. I am burning out. Work continues to pile up. Things begin to buckle beneath that weight.

Marie Mon Dieu, I am really so sorry. I hope the bereavement counselor can be helpful.

Everyone, hang in there however you have to.
posted by Lonnrot at 4:38 PM on September 29 [4 favorites]


I am going to talk to a bereavement counselor tomorrow, so I am not alone.

For what it's worth, I attended a bereavement therapy group for about a year after my mother died, and I think it helped a lot. Good luck with it, and I hope it helps you too.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:10 AM on September 30


(((((((((((((((((((((Marie Mon Dieu)))))))))))))))))))))
posted by rue72 at 7:20 AM on September 30


EmpressCallipygos, that sucks so majorly, sorry to hear it. I am glad that you are talking to a counselor, Marie Mon Dieu. Hang in there, everyone.
posted by Bella Donna at 2:00 PM on September 30 [1 favorite]


Has anyone heard from katra? As best I can tell, her last activity here was on August 29th. Naturally, no one is obligated to participate here. But katra was super active and then BAM! Nothing. What she is doing is none of my business, but I am worried about her. I would just like to know that she is okay. This is my fucking fuck moment and has been for a couple of weeks. The sense of kinship I have with people here on MetaFilter is gossamer thin, it turns out, and perhaps largely imaginary if it relies on seeing evidence of people I have come to care about and the only place I ever see it is here and then that evidence disappears.

This is not a complaint about katra nor about anyone else I feel or felt connected to who used to be or still is a part of MF but has somehow disappeared from view. It just makes me sad and wistful. That will pass, but it would pass faster if I just knew that katra was healthy and/or coping. Wherever you may be, my Internet friends, I hope you are as well as you can be. I wish that for everyone else whose words here I have enjoyed and valued over the years. Virtual hugs if you want them. xoxo
posted by Bella Donna at 12:50 PM on October 3 [10 favorites]


O daaang, I hope nothing's wrong, I love katra! I hope she is well.
posted by Don Pepino at 8:48 PM on October 3 [3 favorites]


fucking white supremacists in this administration. Every new immigration regulation makes life just a little bit more precarious.
posted by ChuraChura at 8:32 PM on October 8 [3 favorites]


1. My mom decided to volunteer at an event over the weekend!
2. Then she came up here to get apples! I live about an hour and a half-ish away from the nearest apple farms, so she wants to drop some off.
3. I specifically say DO NOT COME OVER EXPECTING TO COME IN, ESPECIALLY DO NOT COME DURING 2:30-3:30 BECAUSE I AM TRAINING PEOPLE IN A MEETING.
4. "I have a key! I can just let myself in!" PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS.
5. "Can I go to the bathroom?" NO! Now I am the asshole who denied her mother the bathroom.
6. She very grudgingly agreed to leave the apples on my back porch.
7. She starts texting and calling me DURING MY MEETING, showing up during it.
8. She did at least leave the apples and go, but is now clearly In A Snit at me and sending me angry text about how she could have just let herself in.

I don't want to be the asshole who has to ask management to get the locks changed or anything, and I feel like a complete asshole for treating my mom like this and DENYING HER THE BATHROOM, for godsake. But....pandemic. And she's running around socializing in public. While 70.

I haaaaaaaate how the pandemic forces us to turn into antisocial rude assholes. I hate this so much.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:57 PM on October 13 [4 favorites]


Oh Jen, lots of hugs

I hope katra is okay. I also noticed divabat has buttoned and I'm very sad. I hope they come back as they were one of this site's most intelligent and insightful posters.
posted by daybeforetheday at 1:55 AM on October 15 [3 favorites]


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