HEY, MATHOWIE, DON'T READ THIS November 23, 2003 7:29 PM   Subscribe

MATT IS NOT ALLOWED TO VIEW THIS THREAD TILL AFTER CHRITSMAS
posted by Hackworth to MetaFilter-Related at 7:29 PM (219 comments total)

Because I think we all owe him a christmas gift. I suggest interested parties use his own Amazon wishlist hack to buy him some waffels.
posted by Hackworth at 7:29 PM on November 23, 2003


only, i wish i could spell waffles correctly.
posted by Hackworth at 7:30 PM on November 23, 2003


Or Christmas.
posted by The God Complex at 7:32 PM on November 23, 2003


dammit, christmas, too. I lose.
posted by Hackworth at 7:32 PM on November 23, 2003


I'm sure he'll never guess what's going on in here. Once we establish that we should or shouldn't, and the correct spelling of waffles, I suggest we also use this thread as a way to plot his overthrow.
posted by crunchland at 7:37 PM on November 23, 2003


Matt's getting the same thing this year as I sent him last year--a copy of my ColdChef Christmas Mix. And maybe a few nude shots of the missus. But that's it.
posted by ColdChef at 7:43 PM on November 23, 2003


Is this "christmas" something I'd need a Dickens novel to know about?
posted by kickingtheground at 7:44 PM on November 23, 2003




Clearly Matt is sick. We must intervene, and introduce him to other pithy movie quotes.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:52 PM on November 23, 2003


Oh snap, they got ponies, too.
posted by Hackworth at 8:05 PM on November 23, 2003


what's that brown stuff all over Hackworth's lips?
posted by quonsar at 10:07 PM on November 23, 2003


add to above comment: one smiley --> :)
posted by quonsar at 10:08 PM on November 23, 2003


quonsar = naughty list.
posted by Hackworth at 10:25 PM on November 23, 2003


to buy him some waffels.

You mean he doesn't want a pancake maker?? Oh, wait. Yah, he already has 17171 of those.
posted by zarah at 10:49 PM on November 23, 2003


"And now a message from the pancake council of america:

Fuck waffles."
posted by Space Coyote at 12:18 AM on November 24, 2003


Hey guys, lets pitch in to get the guy a 2600 sweatshirt and any T-shirt of our choice at the most famous hacker quarterly website and magazine in the world. $42 including shipping.

I promise that if other people pitch in I will give 5 bucks. Hey, I work at a car wash! Respond here if interested, and we can figure out how to set this up.
posted by Keyser Soze at 1:06 AM on November 24, 2003


oh shit whats Matts clothing size?
posted by Keyser Soze at 1:06 AM on November 24, 2003


Well, Keyser Soze, I don't know whether this is an unforgivable breach of confidence, but the only time he e-mailed me, it was about Iberian shoes and, lest it remain unreported, suffice it so say it was in a size which, according to my research into the matter, is entirely unknown in our peninsula. ;)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 1:33 AM on November 24, 2003


Considering Andre (who shall go surnameless, to avoid any possible transgression of various rules) got a G5 for his birthday recently from his community of swell internet pals, a t-shirt might be a little bit of a disappointment to our fearless leader, what with the swarming thousands here, all jostling for a chance to redeem themselves for their usual snarkiness.

But it's the thought that counts after all, right?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:31 AM on November 24, 2003


(Sorry, I know I've mentioned that before, and I don't wanna harp on it, but the coolness of it just blows me away.)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:06 AM on November 24, 2003


Hey guys, lets pitch in to get the guy a 2600 sweatshirt and any T-shirt of our choice

How 'bout a Fark t-shirt?
posted by Shane at 6:15 AM on November 24, 2003


Total fark membership?
posted by twine42 at 6:38 AM on November 24, 2003


I'll donate my Metafilter account to him. Those are pretty rare to come by.
posted by Stan Chin at 6:57 AM on November 24, 2003


can we start to plot his overthrow yet?
posted by crunchland at 7:06 AM on November 24, 2003


Candlesticks always make a nice gift.
posted by vito90 at 7:45 AM on November 24, 2003


Maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern.
posted by goddam at 8:04 AM on November 24, 2003


vito90, with the Candlestick, in MetaTalk...

What do I win?
posted by Ufez Jones at 8:13 AM on November 24, 2003


Ufez, you win a copy of Bull Durham...(which you probably already own!)
posted by vito90 at 8:18 AM on November 24, 2003


There's always a cruel part of our psyche which runs parallel to the impulse of generosity and, in Matt's case, expresses itself by thinking of the worst possible gifts: that special text ad that simply says "Merry Christmas, Matt!"; a subscription to Fortune; a black-and-white print-out of that Springfield map.

But, worst of all, if properly moved by the spirit, has to be a special mega-MeTa post, to be titled "Our Xmas Prezzies" consisting entirely of entirely sensible, but labour-intensive feature requests. ;)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:00 AM on November 24, 2003


All good suggestions. I think the main idea in pointing out the wishlist hack thing was so that we all could buy him whatever we wanted, but I was thinking it would be especially nifty if suddenly shit loads of breakfast foods showed up on his doorstep.
posted by Hackworth at 9:13 AM on November 24, 2003


Or McDonald's Gift Certificates... A year's supply of McGriddles.
posted by wendell at 9:28 AM on November 24, 2003


I'm with crunchland on this one. We've lived under mathowies cruel iron fist for far too long.
posted by philcliff at 9:58 AM on November 24, 2003


If all participating members sent in five bucks, how much would it add up to? (cash always fits, you know--and revolts usually work better after the holiday season, i think)
posted by amberglow at 10:36 AM on November 24, 2003


Considering everyones opinion, maybe sending in $5 each to a fund could be a better idea. What should we do to get this idea in the air? And who decides what to get?
posted by Keyser Soze at 11:19 AM on November 24, 2003


Shane: Why dont you buy him a fark t-shirt. Maybe somethingawful while your at it.
posted by Keyser Soze at 11:34 AM on November 24, 2003


Shane: Why dont you buy him a fark t-shirt.

What, no one wants to chip in with me?
/cheapskate
posted by Shane at 12:05 PM on November 24, 2003


Maybe we can get him a hummer! That's what the guv'nor drives.
posted by dness2 at 12:08 PM on November 24, 2003


Passing on an e-mail from an anonymous Mefite:

matt wants a Canon Digital SLR camera dammit! (the one on his wishlist)
posted by Shane at 12:25 PM on November 24, 2003


whata keyser said...we should just give him the cash and let him buy what he wants...we just need a really trustworthy mefite to collect it all...i nominate quonsar ; > (i seriously would trust juju with it, for one)
posted by amberglow at 12:32 PM on November 24, 2003


I vote for the everlasting blort cashiers.
posted by ginz at 1:04 PM on November 24, 2003


an anonymous Mefite
That would make for a great stocking stuffer.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:06 PM on November 24, 2003


The Camera on Matt's Amazon Wishlist

Its currently around $950.00. That seems doable in such a large community as this. I mean, my kingdom for a digital SLR - how clear can the man be? Or, if we can't sort that out, Amazon Gift Certificates, and let him order his own SLR.

Not to be crass, but if you guys are serious, lets do this right. Otherwise, there's no point and this thread should be deleted.
posted by anastasiav at 1:18 PM on November 24, 2003


If it's just a question of giving Matt some cash, I'm pretty sure this would still work.

Not a very festive way to handle it, I'll grant you. But perhaps easier (and therefore less procrastination-prone) than trying to pull together one of those giant novelty-size checks.

I'd happily pitch in towards the camera, though, if the consensus goes that way (and if we can agree on someone to do the actual purchasing and collecting of funds; I'd third the nomination of madamjuju if she's willing.)
posted by ook at 1:22 PM on November 24, 2003


I'll add my name to those who'd be happy to pitch in cash towards the camera. If we can afford it, it'd be nice to buy him a few extras like a spare battery, CF card and suchlike. I should think that $950 is more than doable in Mefi; even if only the Mefites who've been to meetups contribute, that must be over a hundred people. I'm sure that $10 each wouldn't break the bank.
posted by adrianhon at 1:31 PM on November 24, 2003


"Its currently around $950.00. That seems doable in such a large community as this."

That is a bitching camera. I have a D60, which is similar, and it's one of the best things I've ever bought.

I say we get it.

Anyone have any suggestions for how we get the cash pooled? I'll be happy to handle the cash and get the camera if we can come up with a system we can trust. Everyone could just send to my PayPal account, but that's not as good as something verifiable.
posted by y6y6y6 at 1:37 PM on November 24, 2003


"We have cameras."
posted by ColdChef at 1:38 PM on November 24, 2003


Heheheh.

Count me in.

Please, some geek do the set up...
posted by dash_slot- at 1:49 PM on November 24, 2003


omg, Hackworth, that would be *so* funny. Well, probably funnier imagining it than being the one stuck with 100 pounds of various breakfast goodies...

But seriously, I'm in for the camera too...I'll drop an email to the crew at Amazon and tell them what we want to do, and see if they have a way to manage it. I've always been really impressed by their customer service...and we can't be the first group that's wanted to do something like this.
posted by dejah420 at 1:58 PM on November 24, 2003


A great idea, especially since we know he'd be loving the thing long time.

However, is there a way to make sure someone else (say, a significant other or Matt's parents or one of his many stalkers) won't mistakenly be getting him the same camera?
posted by Ljubljana at 1:58 PM on November 24, 2003


We could use the Amazon Honor system widget, like the donation page uses. But they charge 15%, so we'd need to come up with an extra $150. Not good. I looked around on PayPal for something that would display a running total, but no luck.
posted by y6y6y6 at 2:00 PM on November 24, 2003


I'm down with a donation to the Owie Camera Fund.

But he can't take any pictures of his ass.
posted by Kafkaesque at 2:02 PM on November 24, 2003


IF we're trusting, my vote would be to avoid all the middlemen (Amazon 15%, Paypal fees, etc.) and do the following:

1) Pick a responsible party (MadameJJJ also has my vote)

2) Anyone who wants to contribute order an Amazon Gift Certificate to be sent to the Responsible Party (only an email address needed, they won't need a physical address).

3) Responsible Party uses GCs to order present for Matt -- Camera if that works, something else (the entire rest of his wishlist??) if not.

4) .... ???

5) Big Presents!!
posted by anastasiav at 2:13 PM on November 24, 2003


I'll also pledge the first $25 towards this effort.
posted by anastasiav at 2:14 PM on November 24, 2003


" order an Amazon Gift Certificate...."

Sounds good to me. Will this work for non-US MeFis as well?
posted by y6y6y6 at 2:17 PM on November 24, 2003


Least we can do. Count me in.
posted by widdershins at 2:27 PM on November 24, 2003


Will this work for non-US MeFis as well?

Yes. The only problem would be if MJJJ, or the Responsible Party, got second thoughts and decided to use the money to scuba in Aruba instead.

Also, there would be no way to track how much cash was flowing into the Responsible Party's inbox.
posted by Ljubljana at 2:29 PM on November 24, 2003


Reading the Terms and conditions, it seems that non-US folks would have to order via Amazon.com (and not, say Amazon.co.uk), but so long as you can pay with a credit card that the US site recognizes, it should be all good.

The only catch I can see is that Gift Certificates are not transferable and you cannot purchase Gift Certificates with Gift Certificates, so if we were 'under' there might some issues in figuring out what else to buy, and if went 'over' there might be some issues with getting the balance to him.

The only problem would be if MJJJ, or the Responsible Party, got second thoughts and decided to use the money to scuba in Aruba instead.

Also, there would be no way to track how much cash was flowing into the Responsible Party's inbox.

Unless we all just decide to send Matt our own GCs, there is this same element of risk in whatever path we choose.

It might be kind of fun for everyone to send him a GC with a note that said "buy yourself a Camera" ... but I'm a fan of physical gifts over virtual ones. On the other hand, the whole "multi GC thing" does mean that he could by whatever he really wanted ... a camera, a pony, some pancakes, a kick-ass DVD collection, new furniture for his new pad ... whatever.
posted by anastasiav at 2:36 PM on November 24, 2003


I'm in. You guys take green stamps, right?
posted by me3dia at 2:42 PM on November 24, 2003


Perhaps whoever is collecting the gift certificates could post here with a running total and then we'd just be able to check back here to see how much more is needed. Or if they had their own webspace, they could make a page and link it here to show the running total.
posted by zorrine at 2:46 PM on November 24, 2003


If we can, I think we should just go and buy him the camera rather than giving him the GCs (providing we have the cash), given that we *know* he really wants the camera.

There's no problem buying GCs and other items from Amazon.com outside of the US; I've bought a number of items without hitch from them, and I'm in the UK.

I'm not particularly bothered about who the Responsible Party is, as long as it is a Member of MetaFilter in Good Standing & Repute. That way, if they run off with the money, we can find them and hunt 'em down...
posted by adrianhon at 2:50 PM on November 24, 2003


$10 says Matt peeked in this thread. Or picked it up and shook it.
posted by xmutex at 2:59 PM on November 24, 2003


PayPal? We don't need no steenkin' PayPal!!
posted by dash_slot- at 3:04 PM on November 24, 2003


Right. So.

Who's going to email MadameJJJ and tell her she's been - erm - drafted?? :-)
posted by anastasiav at 3:20 PM on November 24, 2003


I too would like to be in on getting Matt a Chritsmas Waffel.
posted by brownpau at 3:26 PM on November 24, 2003


Yes. The only problem would be if MJJJ, or the Responsible Party, got second thoughts and decided to use the money to scuba in Aruba instead.
Shhhhh....she promised she take me with her!

Someone email her and see if she's willing to be in charge. I know most of us trust her : >
posted by amberglow at 3:26 PM on November 24, 2003


oh, is there a limit on how many gift certificates you can use toward a single purchase? this will run into hundreds of them.
posted by amberglow at 3:28 PM on November 24, 2003


Another possibility would be a pledge system. Members could post the amount they pledge to donate here. Then on a prearranged day, we would all puchase our gift certificates, sending a deluge of gift certificate notices to mathowie's inbox.
posted by 4easypayments at 3:28 PM on November 24, 2003


Wait, wait, wait... How do we know Matt celebrates Christmas? He might celebrate Haunakah or Kwanzaa or Cthulu Day. Cultural bias! You should all be ashamed of yourselves!
posted by keswick at 3:36 PM on November 24, 2003


I'm in. Not witty, but in.
posted by gleuschk at 3:43 PM on November 24, 2003


So we're going to pack the camera with explosives...

But how will we decide who takes offer after he snaps his last picture? Largest contributor to the Topple Matt fund?
posted by Mick at 3:45 PM on November 24, 2003


over! not offer.

*sigh*
posted by Mick at 3:45 PM on November 24, 2003


Count me in for 20 of our dollars (or 14.3738 of your boring green money at today's exchange rate). Just tell me where to send it via PayPal or credit card. The gift certificate idea would end up

The camera would be quite appropriate and a tangible item would be far better than cash in my opinion. Do they come in blue? It is possible that enough donations could be collected to do something more impressive, but that would be a good minimum to aim for.
posted by dg at 4:17 PM on November 24, 2003


It looks like someone already bought the camera for him. Someone from this thread, I'm guessing.
posted by waxpancake at 4:25 PM on November 24, 2003


Goddamn. That's some serious buying power. I wonder what we should buy for him now.
posted by adrianhon at 4:30 PM on November 24, 2003


Holy shit! Okay, someone fess up. Meanwhile I guess we get to pitch in for item #2. Think we can scrape together $6.95?
posted by furiousthought at 4:30 PM on November 24, 2003


Whoops, I wasn't reading. The entire wish list is sold out.
posted by furiousthought at 4:35 PM on November 24, 2003


NO wait a minute! That doesn't look right, the way his amazon wish list has it listed as purchased as it has all his items listed as purchased. Could something be wrong with the list, hacked or buggy from some foul up at amazon?? I mean my wish list and t r a c y's wishlist don't look like that when an item has been purchased, they just move the item off the page and put it on the purchased page...... aack.
posted by zarah at 4:35 PM on November 24, 2003


DOH. oh ok that is the purchased page, hee!
posted by zarah at 4:36 PM on November 24, 2003


the camera's out---cash is always in : >
posted by amberglow at 4:42 PM on November 24, 2003


I'm dumb. Yes, there are many other things on his wish list yet to be purchased. The most expensive thing is a fisheye lens, but that doesn't seem quite right.
posted by furiousthought at 4:43 PM on November 24, 2003


Perhaps Matt's too bashful to put this on his wishlist?
posted by contessa at 4:48 PM on November 24, 2003


The Segway would be super cool. I wonder if we really could raise that kind of dough.
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:52 PM on November 24, 2003


Well, since his whole wishlist seems to be purchased, I guess all we can do now is to proceed with the takeover. And to answer Mick's question. I nominate myself. Or crunchland, possibly quonsar
posted by philcliff at 5:01 PM on November 24, 2003


:: imagines Matt cruisng around the site with his Segway, looking down on the MeFites::

Then again...
posted by eyeballkid at 5:08 PM on November 24, 2003


"cruising"

Damn you Hackworth!
posted by eyeballkid at 5:10 PM on November 24, 2003


We should get him the Segway.

Or a G5, and show those Pilers that we can give gifts with the best of them.
posted by bshort at 5:19 PM on November 24, 2003


I hear Matt's running low on monocle polish.

*secretly plotting to start a popular community blog so someone will buy him a digital SLR*
posted by keswick at 5:21 PM on November 24, 2003


well, if matt polishes his monocle, the top hat will look really old and shabby--maybe that's what we should get him?
posted by amberglow at 5:25 PM on November 24, 2003


hmm. well, i'm still sticking with the waffles/pancakes and ponies.
posted by Hackworth at 5:43 PM on November 24, 2003


Matt's a goddamn camwhore.
posted by Stan Chin at 5:46 PM on November 24, 2003


Matt dresses like Mr. Peanut? Awesome.

For the $950 we would have spent on a camera, we could get him a Dirt Bike or a Motor Home!!!

I VOTE DIRT BIKE!!!
posted by Hildago at 5:46 PM on November 24, 2003


It looks like someone already bought the camera for him. Someone from this thread, I'm guessing.

Wow.

I swear to you, it was not like that earlier -- I know, in fact, because the camera and the 60 Hikes Book were listed right together on the same page.

Just. I mean. Wow.

Enjoy your camera, Matt!
posted by anastasiav at 6:50 PM on November 24, 2003


*wonders if we can get away with claiming to have bought the camera if we act fast enough*
posted by dg at 6:56 PM on November 24, 2003


Get him a 28-135 image stabilzed lens to go with the camera. I didn't check to see if it's on his wishlist, but it's a loverly lens, and only about $400. I'd be in for $20 of it, and we'd only need 19 more people to toss in the same amount.
posted by kindall at 7:38 PM on November 24, 2003


Still waiting to hear from Amazon if they can set up a common pool without charging us that 15% that they charge for the "donate" sites. The first response I got back was mostly just a boilerplate on how to use a wish list. I'm trying to explain it better this time.

I was going to suggest that instead of gift certificates, we all just donated money to MeFi...but I think we're going for something a little more warm and fuzzy than that...also, I'd be willing to bet that donations to MeFi are a taxable event, whereas gifts are not.

if he wants a segway...that would be an awsome gift...but we should make sure he wants one, somehow.
posted by dejah420 at 7:43 PM on November 24, 2003


*tries to understand how anyone could not want a Segway*
posted by dg at 8:08 PM on November 24, 2003


From the Vancouver meetup thread, quoth Mathowie: "heh. I got to Caterina's show on time, but used a car. I spotted the Segway rental place on Grannville Island on the way out from the show. Why didn't anyone mention that?! I tried to hit it the next day but had so many other things to do that I never got over there before dark. I would have loved to try my first segway." That sounds like a nifty idea. Surely 4,495 of us could come up with a dollar each, or....?
posted by Lynsey at 8:32 PM on November 24, 2003


do segways work in the rain?
posted by amberglow at 8:39 PM on November 24, 2003


Come one people! We can come up with enough to get a segway. Its the least we can do.
posted by Quartermass at 9:17 PM on November 24, 2003


What the hell, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Someone will have to play mother, though.
posted by dg at 9:23 PM on November 24, 2003


hey, weren't all the segways recalled 'cause they're too tippy...? we don't want matt to hurt himself...!
posted by t r a c y at 10:27 PM on November 24, 2003


I bet Matt is keeping close tabs on this thread, and when the Segway proposal came up, he made roof-raising motions and started reloading the page once every five seconds.
posted by Hildago at 10:49 PM on November 24, 2003


Hildago is by far one of the forty or fifty funniest people this side of the mojave desert. Your description had me rolling on the floor, and left my monitor coated in a viscous fluid that smells vaguely of limonade. Kudos. I owe you a underpriviledged-school-children-tax-free latte.

hey, weren't all the segways recalled 'cause they're too tippy...? we don't want matt to hurt himself...!

If it means I ascend another rung up the metaladder of power relations, by God I'll let nothing stand--or "float" lamely--in my way.
posted by The God Complex at 11:12 PM on November 24, 2003


I bet we're going to see the Segway magically appear on his Wishlist as a purchased item within the next few hours. Then some 'anonymous' poster here will say, "Well, there's nothing left but to buy him a house now..." Mathowie's playing us like puppets, I say, puppets!
posted by adrianhon at 11:39 PM on November 24, 2003


Forget about the segway. Let's get together and invest in one expensive gift. If everyone put in $5 he could get a new car!

Hell, if ten percent contributed we could get him something worth remembering. I recommend a respected and influential member to collect the money, and that they should obviously be contacted beforehand. This is a meritocracy, isn't it?
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:01 AM on November 25, 2003


It will also create an air of surprise for everyone not in on it. Not to mention the webmaster, Matt.
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:04 AM on November 25, 2003


If everyone one is still up for chucking in a tenner ($ not £) then how about...?
posted by twine42 at 12:57 AM on November 25, 2003


I think we should get him one of these.
At the very least.
posted by seanyboy at 1:18 AM on November 25, 2003


well, someone volunteer--juju hasn't chimed in yet...dejah, will you do the honors of being the trusted member? How do you feel about getting mail? : >
posted by amberglow at 4:58 AM on November 25, 2003


How about a Prius or a Smart car?
posted by bshort at 5:21 AM on November 25, 2003


Smart cars are adorable, but are they safe in the land of giant SUVs? And how tall is he? I get the feeling that they're built for short people.

I still think we should send him cash, and let him do what he wants with it (It would be fun to see him rolling around on a bed of bills, like in the movies, and it fits with the monocle)
posted by amberglow at 5:28 AM on November 25, 2003


Matt should have to pose naked with whatever we get him just like Asia Carrera always does.
posted by Cyrano at 5:40 AM on November 25, 2003


This is a great, fun thread. Whatever gets decided I will for sure chip in...
posted by vito90 at 6:38 AM on November 25, 2003


So what's the consensus?

Here are the options that have been mentioned so far:
1. Segway
2. Breakfast foods
3. t-shirts
4. Canon digital SLR (already purchased)
5. Dirt bike
6. Motor home
7. Lens for his shiny new camera
8. New car

If someone were really motivated they could set up a poll somewhere so that members (and non-members?) could vote.

We could also just set up a PayPal account / Amazon Honor System / etc. and start collecting money, and then purchase something based on what we've collected.
posted by bshort at 7:22 AM on November 25, 2003


Man this is too funny. Everyone wants to pitch in, no one wants to do the leg work! At least I have an excuse - I am Canadian!
posted by Quartermass at 7:25 AM on November 25, 2003


I'm up for the Segway as well. He just got a new car not too long ago, IIRC. A diesel Jetta wagon, I think.
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:30 AM on November 25, 2003


Everyone wants to pitch in, no one wants to do the leg work!
Personally, I'd be happy to look after the money, but as I don't even trust myself, and with exception, you alls don't know me, I'd be much suprised if I offered and you accepted.

And I really do think we should Adopt a pony for him.
posted by seanyboy at 8:05 AM on November 25, 2003


BTW - I think that people shouldn't decide what to get until the money is collected, and the people who should decide what to get should only be the people who donate cash. (That way at least, the donators can talk amongst themselves; thus keeping the gift a suprise)
posted by seanyboy at 8:07 AM on November 25, 2003


seanyboy has a great point. No use aiming for the Segway if we end up only being able to afford a Razor Scooter.
posted by eyeballkid at 8:32 AM on November 25, 2003


Here's an old mathowie quote on Segways, in which he mentions witnessing some "spectacular crashes." He doesn't seem overly enthusiastic about them.
posted by Ljubljana at 9:20 AM on November 25, 2003


What about a nice print, he seems to have an eye for photography. Maybe some art?
Not a stock image poster from Ikea, something you know, arty. Something that'll last. Maybe a signed print by his favourite comic artist?
If this is a good idea, it might be advisable to check his weblog for references to art/photographers he likes. We could contact someone who may know, Jason or Meg or whoever.
I would rather contribute towards something that has the potential to accrue value, both sentimentally and financially, than something that will be binned in 24 months time. Unless it is something that Matt *cannot* live without.

Like a pony ; )
posted by asok at 9:41 AM on November 25, 2003


This is great! Count me in for a tenner.
posted by clever sheep at 10:01 AM on November 25, 2003


well, someone volunteer--juju hasn't chimed in yet...dejah, will you do the honors of being the trusted member? How do you feel about getting mail? : > posted by amberglow

I don't mind, it shouldn't take a lot of time. Let me look into the costs of the various options...currently appears that the Honor list and PayPal are the main contenders. I don't have a PayPal merchant account, so I've no idea what their fee structure is...or how long it takes to get money from them. It may be that even with the 15%, the Amazon route is the easiest...but I'll look into both, and any other solutions that y'all want to recommend.

What I can do, once a solution provider is selected, is create a web page where when someone makes a contribution, I can list their name, and a running total. When we reach cutoff date "X", we can then decide which goodies should be purchased, and we'll know all the names to put on the card.

So, Let me look into solutions today, and I'll try to get some options together and present them this evening or tomorrow.
posted by dejah420 at 10:57 AM on November 25, 2003


Thanks, dejah! Oh, and this is my candidate for best MeTa thread ever. ;)
posted by Lynsey at 11:03 AM on November 25, 2003


you rock dejah! (i was thinking we should have a cash option too for people who can't do credit/debit card) : >
posted by amberglow at 11:32 AM on November 25, 2003


moz and i are in. :)

it is the least we can do.
posted by sugarfish at 12:20 PM on November 25, 2003


thanks dejah
posted by matteo at 12:43 PM on November 25, 2003


dejah's just gunning for her own gold star :-)
posted by bshort at 12:52 PM on November 25, 2003


I'm in for 2% to 5% of what I get paid for he "Opus" article, just for Matt not banning my ass during my orgy of publicity whoring last week. (now to figure out how to repay quonsar without cutting off a piece of anatomy)
posted by wendell at 12:55 PM on November 25, 2003


Ok, I've read all the user agreements and fee schedules at both sites...and at Amazon, one page says 15%, but the FAQ says 5%.

If the fee is 5%, then I think Amazon is our best bet, because of the options available, such as running totals on an Amazon pay-page and a faster turn-around time on fund availability. I'll keep my current dialogue with customer service going and see if I can get an answer to 2 questions: What is the fee...and can we have the donations pooled as a ever growing gift certificate, rather than putting the money into my personal bank account...the thought of which makes me very uncomfortable...for a number of reasons, the primary of them tax related. I don't want to end up owing income tax on Matt's present.

So, let me see if I can iron out those details.
posted by dejah420 at 1:05 PM on November 25, 2003


we should set our purchase list to "degrade gracefully", setting the most expensive gifts at the top and letting the amount of donations decide the level of the gift.

So:
1) hybrid automobile
2) segway
3) super-duper camera lense
4) t-shirt
5) My Little Ponies
6) pancakes
7) ???
8) profit!

feel free to copy/paste & edit the list.
posted by Hackworth at 1:19 PM on November 25, 2003


Also checking with giftcertificates.com to see if they have a common pool method that we can use...as Amazon doesn't seem to understand what I'm asking...still working on it.

Does anyone else have any solution provider ideas?
posted by dejah420 at 2:18 PM on November 25, 2003


I've met Dejah420 and I know people she knows, so if she tries to abscond with the money, I can easily track her down and kill her. But I doubt it would ever come to that.

All I can say is: let the Haughey boy have a damn Segway! Is that too much to ask?

I'm in for $10 US.
posted by vraxoin at 2:20 PM on November 25, 2003


Im pitching in my $5. Im not rich :).

Look, I may not be an old member of the metafilter society, but if someone that is better known doesnt want to do it I can hold the tally. my E-mail is Peter_brown@comcast.net if anyone has any questions.
posted by Keyser Soze at 2:26 PM on November 25, 2003


Speaking of tracking the money counted, why dont we use paypal and then convert the sum into a bank account, thereby having a digital "middle-man" to make sure everythings counted and correct?
posted by Keyser Soze at 2:29 PM on November 25, 2003


Jeez. it hardly seems fair to overthrow the guy if we're talking about buying him a car, for crissakes.

And while I applaud the sentiment, I'll believe that when I see it.
posted by crunchland at 3:12 PM on November 25, 2003


"Does anyone else have any solution provider ideas?"

I think the PayPal option is best. Less overhead. An audit trail is generated. And it works out of the box.

Also. I'm having second thoughts about the Segway. I don't mind donating a large sum of money for something I know Matt will love (the camera), but I'm not sure about spending 4.5 times as much on something that may end up being a shortlived amusement. Didn't San Fransisco ban these from the streets?

There are tons of pricey accessories for that Canon. If we're going to splurge on a lens, I suggest the 100-400 IS L. Now that's a fucking lens. You could kill a small pony with it.
posted by y6y6y6 at 3:20 PM on November 25, 2003


I'm in if we're getting a camera accessory or something. If it's a Segway, I'd rather do the coup thing. Not only are we not sure he wants one, but I personally think the damn things are... well, let's just say overpriced. I don't want to hurt the feelings of all those MeFites who think they're incredibly cool.
posted by languagehat at 3:40 PM on November 25, 2003


I think the most obvious progression of this whole thing is getting Matt his own giclee. Then he could be like that friend who has a truck on moving day, and we could all send over files for him for free high quality expensive prints.
posted by Stan Chin at 3:43 PM on November 25, 2003


Let me say that when I accepted this nomination...I had no idea what I was getting into. Damn me and my volunteerism...this is how I ended up cleaning up a stretch of highway, you know. ;) Seriously, I didn't realize that I would have to provide my private bank accounts to set up an account. I mean, I guess that only makes sense, really...I just hadn't thought of it. Homer moment...

What I was hoping to do was to get Amazon to hold the funds via their internal "paypages", which also gives us an audit trail and a running total. But I've spent all day trying to convince them to do that...and I'm not sure it's working.

If someone else wants to set up a paypal account for this, and is comfortable using their own bank account, that's cool.

However, because of the turnaround time, (30 days), the odds of us being able to get anything purchased before Xmas is unlikely. I was figuring that if we did it through the merchant where we intend to spend the money, it might be faster. Also, amazon has a 14 day turn, vs a 30 day turn on PP. Again, haven't heard back from GC, so I don't know what options are available there.

I will not give my banking information to PP, for various reasons, but if someone else wants to setup the PayPal account, I'll still volunteer to create and update a web page with names and a running total that can be provided by whomever sets up the PayPal...and of course, I'm still in for a donation.

Alternately, since this is starting to look a lot like herding cats...we could all just get Matt gift certificates in whatever denominations we wanted to give, then pick a "mailing day" where everyone mails them to him at once. (We'll need a mailing address...) That way, he can get whatever his little hacker heart desires.
posted by dejah420 at 4:21 PM on November 25, 2003


sorry it's so complicated dejah--i had been thinking all along that we do like I do with my mailman and super--I put cash in an envelope and give it to them...I thought whoever the volunteer is, serves as the holding pen for all the cash from all of us, and then gives it to matt (after maybe exchanging it for shiny new bills, or big bills, etc...)
posted by amberglow at 4:35 PM on November 25, 2003


Matt: like my mailman and super ; >
posted by amberglow at 4:35 PM on November 25, 2003


I think it would be a better idea if we all pitched in to get Matt something seriously nice. If 100 people pitched in 5 bucks thats $500 right there. (about 50 lapdances at jiggles) and Paypal, although it could take longer than hoped, can be our mediator so no one is skimming off the till. I wish I had a bank account.
posted by Keyser Soze at 4:46 PM on November 25, 2003


I wish I had a bank account.
That's kinda my point--you can't do paypal or those other things without a debit/creditcard...cash in an envelope anyone can do. And paypal takes a percentage of each payment anyway. (really what i'm thinking is like a pool in an office when someone's getting married or something like that)
posted by amberglow at 4:56 PM on November 25, 2003


Problem is, people are less likely to actually make good on their promises of money if they actually have to be bothered filling out a check and mailing it. Proven fact.

BTW, someone should contact someone who knows Matt and get them to surreptitiously find out what he wants.

"Say, Matt old boy, if you had a thousand dollars to spend on a tangible item, what would you spend it on?"
posted by Hildago at 5:06 PM on November 25, 2003


As I said way up there, we can use my PayPal account. But you bastards don't trust me. So fine.
posted by y6y6y6 at 5:11 PM on November 25, 2003


I trust you y6...you willing for real?
posted by amberglow at 5:22 PM on November 25, 2003


Fuck it, get him a hooker.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:25 PM on November 25, 2003


'you willing for real?"

You betcha. My PayPal account is: jon@jonsullivan.com

My address is:
Jon Sullivan
10320 Maya Linda Rd #A212
San Diego, CA 92126
posted by y6y6y6 at 5:44 PM on November 25, 2003


Can those of us who don't have credit cards send cash to that address, y6? I suspect there are quite a few of us.

Btw, despite dejah's heroic efforts, I think this is by far the most sensible and practical solution.

Thanks, y6. This will make for an entertaining thread one day when we overseas wags start on the "Whaaaat? You didn't get the 2k in carefully concealed banknotes?" comments. ;)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 5:52 PM on November 25, 2003


"Can those of us who don't have credit cards send cash to that address"

Sure. As long as it's in something more negotiable than a chicken, I'll make sure it gets put towards the cause.

Assuming we figure out what the cause is........
posted by y6y6y6 at 6:01 PM on November 25, 2003


let's worry about the cause the week before xmas...
you rock y6! I'm donating now... : >
posted by amberglow at 6:03 PM on November 25, 2003


what's the mefi projects email again? we should post it there.
posted by amberglow at 6:04 PM on November 25, 2003


Cool, thanks y6!
posted by contessa at 6:09 PM on November 25, 2003


oh, a little bird just emailed me about this little item he may want
/waves at little (non-sleeping) bird : >
posted by amberglow at 6:22 PM on November 25, 2003


Thanks y63 - my donation is on its way. Someone is going to build one of those web page thingies to provide some sort of running total, yes?
posted by dg at 6:23 PM on November 25, 2003


maybe y6 should just post a running total in this thread? It'll be active til the holidays.
posted by amberglow at 6:59 PM on November 25, 2003


I emailed kindall to put it on the mefi projects email list.
posted by amberglow at 7:03 PM on November 25, 2003


"Someone is going to build one of those web page thingies to provide some sort of running total, yes?"

I'll have it up in a couple days. I'll integrate in a discussion forum so we don't have to do all the planning in this one thread. Look for it after Thanksgiving.
posted by y6y6y6 at 7:10 PM on November 25, 2003


Woohoo!!! Running total: $64.00
posted by y6y6y6 at 7:18 PM on November 25, 2003


Wow, sorry I was in absentia for a few days and missed my nomination as a trusted person - how flattering but undeserved, as anyone who ever peeked in my checkbook would realize!

I really support the concept of doing a big gesture for Matt - nice idea Hackworth.

Dejah, you are just too wonderful stepping up to the plate and doing all that investigating. Thank you! And Y6x3, thanks for making your account available, that sounds like the best path. The page sounds great too. This is fun!

I also like Hildago's idea of trying to find out what would be most meaningful to Matt. Maybe it would be a first class trip, that's what I'd want! Or amberglow, your last link is neat. And gee, with 17,000 members, I would think we could come up with more than $1,000. Maybe we could set a goal and try to reach it...$2,500 or heck, $5,000 if that's what a Segway was going to cost.

But I am distressed that chickens are not regarded as appropriate tender so I suppose goats are out too. Damn.
posted by madamjujujive at 8:05 PM on November 25, 2003


y6 - Thanks! I like the idea of the teevee. it goes with the pvr and all the other gadgets mr. haughey has in his well appointed (ok, never been there) living room. I'm in for a tenner.

[it's a little bit weird giving a gift to a guy I'll never meet. But hey, that's what the internet is for.]
posted by zpousman at 8:11 PM on November 25, 2003


y63, you rock! I missed your offer earlier in the thread...my apologies. Although, I too am disappointed by the lack of acceptance of livestock...but fine, I'll just leave money in the usual place. ;)
posted by dejah420 at 8:13 PM on November 25, 2003


Memo to Matt :

Signups(New Members(+Money)) = Profit!

I think it would be funny if he took all the money and donated it to the Bush campaign or bought his presents at Wal-Mart
posted by Stan Chin at 8:18 PM on November 25, 2003


I don't do paypal, due to interesting quirks in Missouri law that render you toast if someone rips your paypal account, I'll mail a check instead. The shipping charges on goats are a little excessive anyway.

Thanks, y6y6y6, for doing the grunt work.
posted by eriko at 8:48 PM on November 25, 2003


You know...with all this talk about Segways, PayPal and Gift Certificates, I'm afraid we all may have forgotten the true meaning of the holidays. It's not about expensive gadgets or futuristic scooters...it's about showing people how much they mean to us in thoughtful, personal ways.

That's why I'd like to suggest we consider a different path: How cool would it be if we all sent Matt something personal. A picture, a favorite cookie, a rock shaped like Nixon.

Remember that scene in "A Miracle on 34th Street" where they brought in the mailsacks and dumped them all out? Can't you imagine the feeling you'd get to have one of those bags waiting for you? Who among us doesn't like to get mail?

Even if it's just a postcard, the time you took to say, "Hey, thanks Dude" is worth a thousand tubs of pancake batter. Picture Matt looking through all our stuff--we know how creative this community can be, right?

So can't we maybe consider something that's overwhelming in a different way? It's just a thought.
posted by ColdChef at 8:54 PM on November 25, 2003


Of course, not wanting to look like a prick, if we decide to go the "expensive gee-gaw" way, I'll throw in there, too.
posted by ColdChef at 8:55 PM on November 25, 2003


Ok y6y6y6 im gonna send my money through paypal. My mommie has a credit card. And coldchef: Tell me where to mail it!
posted by Keyser Soze at 8:56 PM on November 25, 2003


Hmmmm...that's a detail I didn't consider. Anyone?
posted by ColdChef at 8:58 PM on November 25, 2003


Oh, I forget, are we plotting the overthrow of mathowie here, or did we move it to one of the newsfilter threads?

And, if we wanted to pimp-up that camera he's apparently gotten, I'd suggest the EF 70-200mm f/2.8L IS USM. There's a 1.6x multiplication factor in focal length, due to the smaller size of the CCD, this works out to about 115-320, and this lens is a killer peice of glass.

The EF 24-70mm f/2.8L USM is the killer match to the 70-200mm (works out to about a 55-116mm zoom.) It's also an amazingly good optic.

Finally, a good flash would help. The Speedlite 550EX looks like the winner....
posted by eriko at 9:00 PM on November 25, 2003


Twenty bills have been electronically whisked in your direction, y6y6y6. Thanks for taking care of it.
posted by me3dia at 9:03 PM on November 25, 2003


five from me, (y6)^3. I'm underemployed, and hereby challenge the other underemployed/broke/cheap-ass MeFites to at least pitch in.
posted by notsnot at 9:44 PM on November 25, 2003


I was IMing with mathowie this morning and I subtly asked him to clean out his Amazon WishList so that we know what has been purchased and what has not been purchased. I also asked him to add new items to the WishList. He still wants the Canon Digital Rebel and has not received it yet (as of 11/26) fwiw.

y6, I will be donating soon as well.
posted by gen at 10:55 PM on November 25, 2003


Thanks, Y6! A few more dollars electronically sent your way.
posted by bragadocchio at 10:57 PM on November 25, 2003


this is going better than expected.
posted by Keyser Soze at 11:58 PM on November 25, 2003


Y6, another drop should be in the bucket momentarily.
posted by mmoncur at 4:33 AM on November 26, 2003


Running total: $271.

And I have a forum set up here.
posted by y6y6y6 at 4:47 AM on November 26, 2003


the url's messed up, y6
posted by amberglow at 4:56 AM on November 26, 2003


"the url's messed up, y6"

Oops. I just moved the DNS yesterday. The URL is correct, but it may not work until your ISPs router tables get updated. YMMV. I'll put a link on the broken address just in case. Sorry...... Damn it.......
posted by y6y6y6 at 5:04 AM on November 26, 2003


now it's ok--i got the onscreen message, and was able to click on the link there : >
posted by amberglow at 5:28 AM on November 26, 2003


'fraid I'm poor atm, so I've only been able to send £5. That said, I think that's about a hundred of your American 'Dollars'.
</fark>
posted by twine42 at 5:33 AM on November 26, 2003


It's not about expensive gadgets or futuristic scooters...it's about showing people how much they mean to us in thoughtful, personal ways

Like buying them a Segway!
posted by kindall at 7:13 AM on November 26, 2003


Important!!!!

If you are going to mail me money through the regular post, please send me an email as well. That way I can include your $s in the running total while I'm awaiting the check.
posted by y6y6y6 at 7:45 AM on November 26, 2003


my electrons are on the way via PayPal!
posted by clever sheep at 11:36 AM on November 26, 2003


Matt clearly wants a Flavor Flav talking alarm clock.
posted by 4easypayments at 11:58 AM on November 26, 2003


20 big boys are winging their way to you as we speak, y6^3 (and I sent $20 to your PayPal account as well...)
posted by adrianhon at 12:10 PM on November 26, 2003


Just talked to Matt via AIM... He just got the camera in the mail and he's freaking out big time. The gift was sent anonymously. (If he's freaking out about the camera, wait until he gets his new Flavor Flav clock!)
posted by waxpancake at 12:16 PM on November 26, 2003


Wait till he looks on the memory card and finds 30 high resolution pictures of his secret admirer recreating tubgirl.
posted by Stan Chin at 12:38 PM on November 26, 2003


Stan just broke my funny bone. (But it's a good kind of hurt)
posted by Ljubljana at 3:17 PM on November 26, 2003


another 15 euro crossing the ocean as we speak
posted by swordfishtrombones at 12:28 AM on November 27, 2003


Shall we do coldchef's idea next year? I really like it too.
posted by ginz at 9:18 AM on November 27, 2003


"He just got the camera in the mail and he's freaking out big time."

Paints a picture in the mind, he's such a sweety!

At least we know who sent the camera now!
posted by asok at 11:31 AM on November 27, 2003


Wait till he looks on the memory card and finds 30 high resolution pictures of his secret admirer recreating tubgirl.

Could be worse. Could be goatse.
posted by kindall at 11:58 AM on November 27, 2003


Before this runs off the page, I just wanted to remind everyone that we have a continuing discussion about this over here. Total so far is about $500, but we haven't figured out waht to get him.
posted by y6y6y6 at 5:42 AM on November 28, 2003


One of these - purely as a conversation piece naturally.
posted by biffa at 7:54 AM on November 28, 2003


He has camera!
posted by timeistight at 10:55 AM on November 28, 2003


so who sent it? and what does that note say?
posted by amberglow at 11:01 AM on November 28, 2003


Looks like:

"Hi Matt

I've really been ejoying &quote[sic]Ten Years of My Life&quote something something something something something something something gift. Good shooting!

-An anonymous, appreciative Mefite"

Wow!
posted by timeistight at 11:12 AM on November 28, 2003


That's incredibly sweet of someone (or some people)!
posted by riffola at 6:16 PM on November 28, 2003


I think it's:

I've really been enjoying "Ten Years of My Life" so this is purely a selfish gift. Keep shooting! -An anonymous, appreciative Mefite.
posted by 4easypayments at 12:36 AM on November 29, 2003




thanks time and 4easy--I wonder who it's from?
posted by amberglow at 11:20 AM on November 29, 2003


all right, i confess. i didn't buy matt the camera.
posted by quonsar at 11:53 AM on November 29, 2003


i was sure it was you too, q--spending your millions on drugs and hookers, as usual? : >
posted by amberglow at 12:02 PM on November 29, 2003


Just a ping for those not reading the other forum - I have an email in to Matt's wife who has agreed to help with the gift ideas. We have about $700 raised now, but I'm sure we could buy something cooler if we had $1000 or more. To those who haven't added to the pool yet, please consider how much time you spend on this free site. If a tiny portion of the users here donate $5-$20 we can get Matt something outstanding for Christmas.
posted by y6y6y6 at 6:49 AM on December 2, 2003


Quite right, Jon! My twenty euros, skilfully hidden in a folded piece of writing paper, are on their way.

Why, it seems only yesterday *Euro-jab warning* that that would have been about 18 dollars, but I now see it's more like 24,1691 dollars. US dollars are rapidly becoming our private Canadian joke currency.

Seriously, I'm sorry if this means a trip to the bank but I saw that another fellow member had sent euros so I figured you had to go to the bank anyway - unless you keep them *can't resist, sorry!* - as an investment. Teehee. It's not often we lowly Portagee get to lord it over the world's great superpower, so indulge me already. :)

Matt (because we all know this is the only thread you follow): I won't die before I find and send you the appropriate Camper shoes, rest assured. Maria Joao, my wife, has seventeen pairs and loves them all!)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 10:06 PM on December 2, 2003


Hmmm, I just re-read this and, lest it may seem that Matt is secretly into stiletto heels and mink-lined mules, let me point out that Camper make shoes for both sexes and he, for some weird reason, prefers the masculine style. ;)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 10:41 PM on December 2, 2003


whoo... someone has a fetish.
posted by Keyser Soze at 11:35 PM on December 2, 2003


"Seriously, I'm sorry if this means a trip to the bank"

Not a problem. I was assuming I'd end up doing that.

And the fall of the dollar is really pissing me off. It looks like my trip to Wales next year is going to cost about $500 more than anticipated. One more reason to hate George Bush. If that fucker doesn't get voted out next year I'm going to need meds to deal with the depression.
posted by y6y6y6 at 7:26 AM on December 3, 2003


then get Haughey some size 15 1/2 custom-made Manolo Blahnik strappy sandals and get it over with
posted by matteo at 8:27 AM on December 3, 2003


I'll make mine euro's then, for convenience y63. [BTW, how do we make a euro symbol?

&euro = ampersandeuro
&8364 = ampersand8364]
posted by dash_slot- at 8:28 AM on December 3, 2003


Cursed by the vagaries of the preview!! Aarghh!!
posted by dash_slot- at 8:29 AM on December 3, 2003


Dashi (you know that's the name of the delicious, basic Japanese bonito flakes and kombu seaweed stock, don't you, mate?) - I refer you to the classic MeFi lesson.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:34 AM on December 3, 2003


I do now, migs. Almost a stranger to japanese food am I, but the components sound quite delicious. Which is nice.

&euro;

L-aa-rvely!
posted by dash_slot- at 9:18 AM on December 3, 2003


Harumph!!

He omits the double- preview anomaly, which I was aware of but have failed to overcome. On preview 1, I had success; I then added my traditional cock-er-ney triumphal roar, replaced the € I saw - as expected - with the recommended ' € ' ...and promptly snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

Fingers crossed...
posted by dash_slot- at 9:23 AM on December 3, 2003


L-aa-rvely!!
posted by dash_slot- at 9:28 AM on December 3, 2003


As a matter of principle, I buy "wish list" items only for webcam girls in underwear. Ethics matter for some people.
posted by squirrel at 10:01 AM on December 3, 2003


thanks hackworth, dejah and y6... top notch
posted by nthdegx at 5:49 PM on December 3, 2003


***UPDATE*****
Our secret agent who is close to Matt has reported back with info about gifts he wants but won't buy because they are stupid expensive. read about it here.
posted by y6y6y6 at 9:49 AM on December 4, 2003


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