Bad comments that end discussion April 13, 2001 10:07 AM   Subscribe

Is posting a comment like this bad form? I've done it before, and, in hindsight, I think it was a mistake. What about the rest of you? Should individuals make comments that attempt to end the community's discussion in the thread?
posted by accountingboy to Etiquette/Policy at 10:07 AM (13 comments total)

owillis, I don't want you to think I've singled you out because I disagree with you, or because I've been offended by anything you've said. I've seen it done before by others, but yours was the most recent.
posted by accountingboy at 10:09 AM on April 13, 2001

posted by owillis at 10:45 AM on April 13, 2001

Is it right to try to end a discussion that has degenerated into a dreary repetition of polarized viewpoints with little actual communication between the opposing sides? I would say yes.
On the other hand, it would be bad form (and likely a spur to more "debate") to say that you're doing that and to then try to get in a parting dig at the other side.
posted by cardboard at 10:52 AM on April 13, 2001

Actually cardboard, it's a community site. Nobody should be trying the end discussions but Matt. Maybe uplift them, change direction, or ignore them, but not end them.
But Owillis was trying to make a joke, I think, rather than trying to end the discussion. It was in bad taste, sure, but a big deal....I dunno. The thread continued afterward.
posted by Doug at 11:50 AM on April 13, 2001

Are either of those things really digs? They just came off as saracastic jokes to me, both of which were perfectly acceptable in light of the intentionally over-the-top, antagonistic posts (the true digs) that led to them.

People say scummy things about others on here all the time in rude attempts to portray them in the worst light possible (and thus hopefully make the poster appear superior), just as they do on any other community. When they do so, they have no right not to expect snarky responses of the likes of the posted examples by accountingboy and owillis.
posted by aaron at 11:56 AM on April 13, 2001

I should have made this clearer, but I was talking about the phrase "I guess we'll have to agree to disagree" about whatever we're discussing. My problem with it is that it is basically saying "I'm sick of hearing what you're saying, and I'm not going to listen anymore." If that's how you feel, just don't listen -- no need to annouce it to anyone, or appear as if you're speaking for more than just yourself.
posted by accountingboy at 12:10 PM on April 13, 2001

Um, aaron, nobody said they were digs. Just thought you should know, so maybe you can join the discussion.
posted by Doug at 12:36 PM on April 13, 2001

I did. And thanks for giving us an example of an intentionally antagonistic post right here in this very thread.
posted by aaron at 2:18 PM on April 13, 2001

I think my statement was more of declaration vs a call to arms to halt the whole thing. Like, "you and I aren't ever agree, but keep on keepin' on"
posted by owillis at 3:05 PM on April 13, 2001

My post was antagonistic because you are using this thread to somehow prove that you were attacked in another thread, ignoring the premise of the original post to do so. I was just pointing that out to you, because you seem to be missing the point of this thread.
But we should all stop discussing this now, this discussion is over.
posted by Doug at 3:52 PM on April 13, 2001

Nobody should be trying the [sic] end discussions but Matt.

Perhaps I'm being presumptuous, but sometimes I wonder if mathowie enjoys being the democratically elected den-mother-for-life around here, while we all consign ourselves to helplessness. Sooner or later the MeFi user base is going to have to grow up and really become self-policing, like the graphic says. We can't always be appealing to mommy to save us from ourselves.
posted by darukaru at 4:16 PM on April 13, 2001

Darukaru, if this were truly a democracy, it wouldn't ever be up to one person to end a discussion. As it is, discussions end naturally, over time, through a group consensus. And saying that Matt is the only person who should end discussions is not indicative of a lack of maturity, but rather an acceptance of the fact that he is the administrator, and DOES end discussions, because they are too offensive, or just double posts, or whatever. I can't tell Matt not to end discussions, but I can say that I don't think you or I should be able to.
posted by Doug at 5:15 PM on April 13, 2001

accountingboy, can we just agree to disagree on whether this is bad form?

Not all discussions or discussion topics are created equal. Sometimes the discussion is enlightening; other times, people have entrenched positions and just end up yelling at each other. In that case, asking people to agree to disagree is just asking them to tone down the rhetoric.

And it's not necessarily a call to end the thread. People can acknowledge that they'll never agree and still shed light on a subject, just with less animosity.
posted by anapestic at 12:12 PM on April 14, 2001

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