Has Anyone Punched Anyone Else Here? March 16, 2004 12:03 PM   Subscribe

Out of curiosity, has anyone on MeFi ever made good on an online "I'll punch you" threat?
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly to Etiquette/Policy at 12:03 PM (54 comments total)

Or can we act like adults?

'cause if anybody wants a piece of me...
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 12:05 PM on March 16, 2004


If I ever met you in person I'd engage in a punch up if you used my mother as part of an analogy!

Yeah, well, I got analogous with your girlfriend last night.

My girlfriend doesn't do anal..ogous.

In long, no, never, except when clavdivs threatened to skull-fuck stavros's verbs (or dry hump is adjectives, I can't remember), but that didn't really have anything to do with punching.

I've said this before--and apparently I'm willing to say it again--but if you're going to threaten violence, at least do it cleverly, perhaps flaunting your knowledge of archaic words or usages, guiling him while you make bedroom eyes and lick your cracked, bleeding lips and whipe the saliva from your draw (thick, like corn syrup) and reach your portly paw into the tub of congealed cheetos and pepsi.
posted by The God Complex at 12:20 PM on March 16, 2004


errr "wipe", not "whipe", unless "whipe" has at some point in the relatively short history of the english language had a meaning which would make sense in that context, as archaic as it may be. Ahem.
posted by The God Complex at 12:23 PM on March 16, 2004


IMO, if ever there was a reason to ban someone from metafilter, a threat of violence would have to be it. On preview, threats to verbs or adjectives are ok by me.
posted by btwillig at 12:25 PM on March 16, 2004


And "jaw", not "draw"

you know what? I give up. NO IT'S NEVER HAPPENED AND NEVER WILL.

damn site with the slow loading and then the me getting uppity and not spell-checking because of the speed /grumbling
posted by The God Complex at 12:29 PM on March 16, 2004


no, no mefi brawls have ever carried over into real world fisticuffs. Virtual shit tends to stay virtual. This has a downside in that nobody's ever come across with the sexual favors either.
posted by jonmc at 12:32 PM on March 16, 2004


Complex... what I actually said is that he deserved a smack upside the head, not a punch. More of 'whatareyouanidiot?'

I was aiming at the ridiculousness of his argument, and referring to someone's personal history that he knows nothing about. For all he knows, my mother died during a c-section giving birth to me.

And I think if anyone did talk to me that way in person, I would feel compelled to smack them upside the head.

But then, I'm just an old fart with a short fuse.

And jonmc - speak for yourself on the sexual favors, buddy.
posted by rich at 12:34 PM on March 16, 2004


Could we arrange a MeFi meetup where we all are required to back up our "if this were in the real world, I would knock your teeth out" statements? MeCide?
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 12:35 PM on March 16, 2004


if you're going to threaten violence, at least do it cleverly, perhaps flaunting your knowledge of archaic words or usages,...

As raygirvan would say, "Hie thee hence from her thov bytche".
posted by Smart Dalek at 12:38 PM on March 16, 2004


Oh, c'mon Ignatius, I'd have people lined up around the block to hit me, and I can't ride a punch like I used to.
posted by jonmc at 12:44 PM on March 16, 2004


jonmc.. we'll go back to back and take 'em all on!
posted by rich at 12:50 PM on March 16, 2004


Why don't you come over and ask that.
posted by yerfatma at 12:57 PM on March 16, 2004


I have had the good fortune to strike another MeFi member on more than one occasion.

I don't think I ever made the threat here first, though. I just went and did it.
posted by rocketman at 1:03 PM on March 16, 2004


we'll go back to back and take 'em all on!

Is that one of those sexual favors jonmc was talking about earlier?
posted by 40 Watt at 1:13 PM on March 16, 2004


Could we arrange a MeFi meetup where we all are required to back up our "if this were in the real world, I would knock your teeth out" statements?

That would likely be unfeasable, as those who would make statements like that most likely wouldn't be allowed out by their parents after 10 PM.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:57 PM on March 16, 2004


I know, rich, but I decided to have a little fun, clumsily misspelled as it may have been.
posted by The God Complex at 2:11 PM on March 16, 2004


Let us hope no one has made good on threats of self-harm, as with that infamous vow by one poster to cut off his own arm.
posted by orange swan at 2:31 PM on March 16, 2004


Given our often undeserved reputation for being intelligent weblogerer types of folk, would anybody here be dumb enough to admit they'd commited assault? That is, you know, if they like ... had?
posted by Wulfgar! at 2:32 PM on March 16, 2004


Come to think of it, four of us Mefites (including jonmc, as it happened) got into it pretty harshly on the weekend.

Granted, it was at bowling, but still. Heavy objects, violent knockdowns, coming back for more, it went on for hours, and there was soreness after the fact. Dude, it got ugly.

There were also chicken wings involved.

I guess the answer, then, is: No.

(Does self-abuse count? Cos that's a whole nother story.)
posted by chicobangs at 2:40 PM on March 16, 2004


I got into a fight in grade 6. Does that cound Wulf?
posted by Quartermass at 2:41 PM on March 16, 2004


Out of curiosity, has anyone on MeFi ever made good on an online "I'll punch you" threat?

I don't see it as a threat at all - it's just someone who can't handle their emotions and can't express themselves well enough to simply make their point. Like I said in the thread you link to, mouthing such words to me while physically facing me is something different - that is a threat, and requires the bottle and motivation that normally precedes a pasting/big fisticuffs - doing it virtually to a complete stranger is just cowardice/empty threat.

Anyway, are there MeFi fight club rules? Is the second rule the same as the first?
posted by SpaceCadet at 2:48 PM on March 16, 2004


The First Rule of MeFite Club: Not in the face.

The Second Rule of MeFite Club: Not in the face.
posted by chicobangs at 2:52 PM on March 16, 2004


Out of curiosity, has anyone on MeFi gotten laid though being a member?

Like I don't know the answer.
posted by y2karl at 2:55 PM on March 16, 2004


NO IT'S NEVER HAPPENED AND NEVER WILL.

yerfatma once broke up a fight in which I was a participant. Of course, this was pre-Metafilter. But that's as close as it will probably get.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:01 PM on March 16, 2004


"...has anyone on MeFi ever made good on an online "I'll punch you" threat?"

I've donkey-punched a Mefite or two, but I've never given advance warning. It's more fun that way.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:10 PM on March 16, 2004


The Third Rule of MeFite Club: Not in the jewels.
posted by amberglow at 3:13 PM on March 16, 2004


Fourth rule of Mefite Club: All fights have to be between two women, in mud, wearing bikinis and who ever has their top ripped off first, loses. If you are male, you need to find a female to take your place. All fights will be on pay per view and cost 29.95 a view.

/me drifts off into fantasy and wonders how quonsar got there.
posted by Stynxno at 3:34 PM on March 16, 2004


I've never even met a MeFi member in real life. *sniff*
posted by soundofsuburbia at 3:37 PM on March 16, 2004


There, there soundofsuburbia. I'm sure someone will come to Sweden and punch your lights out real soon.
posted by orange swan at 3:46 PM on March 16, 2004


*dries tears*

Do you promise, orange swan? Do you?
posted by soundofsuburbia at 3:50 PM on March 16, 2004


I've never even met a MeFi member in real life. *sniff*
This is probably a good thing.
posted by dg at 5:59 PM on March 16, 2004


/me punches Stynxno in the jewels

Rules? Oh, there are no rules here.
posted by deadcowdan at 6:26 PM on March 16, 2004


'cause if anybody wants a piece of me...

there ARE those, but i don't think it's fighting they got in mind, sweetie!
posted by quonsar at 6:33 PM on March 16, 2004


Easy on those jewels. Hitting a big emerald could be murder on your knuckles.
posted by orange swan at 6:33 PM on March 16, 2004


y2karl: yes. Yes. Yes!!! Sweet mother of God, YES!!!
posted by onlyconnect at 7:27 PM on March 16, 2004


swan clicks when he walks. we should watch out for that ugly son of a hoor

on preview: ok onlyconnect, we really need to turn this into a video blog
posted by jmgorman at 7:30 PM on March 16, 2004


/me sucker punches deadcowdan
posted by Stynxno at 7:36 PM on March 16, 2004


soundsofsuburbia, when d'ya reckon we'll do a Scandinavian MeFi meetup? Då kan jag nypas lite.
posted by dabitch at 1:43 AM on March 17, 2004


dabitch: Absolutely! I'll probably visit Copenhagen sometime in july, så kanske vi kan styra upp något då?
posted by soundofsuburbia at 4:33 AM on March 17, 2004


Jeg er frisk på et københavn-meetup
posted by Eirixon at 5:25 AM on March 17, 2004


yumpin' yiminy!
posted by jonmc at 7:09 AM on March 17, 2004


If wee meet up Eirixon, I'll make good on the "I'll buy you a brew"-threat. Märkbar maybe? Samma gäller soundofsuburbia. :)
posted by dabitch at 7:43 AM on March 17, 2004


july is good for me. :P
posted by dabitch at 7:44 AM on March 17, 2004


Märkbar looks amazing. I second that venue. Now, the date...
posted by soundofsuburbia at 8:10 AM on March 17, 2004


Hey! Will you guys quit talking about beer in Scandahoovian? We're trying to have a brawl here!
*breaks chair on edge of bar, swings it at random*
posted by languagehat at 10:08 AM on March 17, 2004


great! Who else can we drag over to Märkbar? If sos comes down in July.... *is hit over the head by languagehats broken chair* - dude, no wheatbeer for you.
posted by dabitch at 10:11 AM on March 17, 2004


*whips out cellphone, calls ambulance for poor dabitch, pronto*
posted by matteo at 6:19 PM on March 17, 2004


sweet dreams, onlyconnect...
posted by NortonDC at 7:36 PM on March 17, 2004


I used to occasionally steal Nutella from The Michael The back when we were college roommates. It could have gotten violent, had he ever caught on, and it would have been impressively weird if he'd chosen to call me out on Metafilter.
posted by saladin at 10:04 AM on March 18, 2004


I would simply like to state for the record that SpaceCadet is a confused humourless slut.

That is said with love.

(duck) (block) (cover)

I'd prefer the face to below the belt. I bet a lot of you are kickers.
posted by rich at 12:38 PM on March 18, 2004


swan clicks when he walks. we should watch out for that ugly son of a hoor

I'm a woman. That clicking you hear is the sound of my three inch heels hitting the floor. And I'm not related to any hoors. But definitely watch out for me. And yes, rich, I've studied kick boxing.
posted by orange swan at 1:21 PM on March 18, 2004


I have had the good fortune to strike another MeFi member on more than one occasion.

I've actually witnessed a rocketman/interrobang attack. It's swift and very stealthy. Kind of impressive, really.

Hmm. And actually crystalblue and I have punched each other. But as with the boys, we never announced it here first. (I believe our punching pre-dates MeFi. And before anyone asks, no bikinis and mud were not involved.)
posted by aine42 at 2:16 PM on March 18, 2004


(Gah. Tired. Not reading carefully. Delete "no" from that last sentence.)
posted by aine42 at 2:16 PM on March 18, 2004


rich:I would simply like to state for the record that SpaceCadet is a confused humourless slut.

My ego is damaged! Now I want to retaliate and call you names! I want the last word! I want to laugh the longest!

nah, I'll give the last word to rich - I think he needs it.

That is said with love.

Is this the kind of post Miguel's going on about in his "posting while drunk" thread?
posted by SpaceCadet at 2:33 AM on March 22, 2004


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