Anonymous AskMe April 19, 2004 11:27 AM   Subscribe

I have a question I think I want to Ask Metafilter, but I want to do it anonymously. (How) should I do this?
posted by weston to Bugs at 11:27 AM (71 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

I think it's too late for you, weston.
posted by pieoverdone at 11:28 AM on April 19, 2004


Just sack up and ask it?
posted by LittleMissCranky at 11:29 AM on April 19, 2004


You could claim it's "for a friend".

That is, you could have, until this thread, which has wised us up.
posted by orange swan at 11:29 AM on April 19, 2004


I think it's too late for you, weston.

7/10 career counselors, therapists, and clergymen agree. But what about my question?
posted by weston at 11:32 AM on April 19, 2004 [1 favorite]


And posting "for a friend" is the ROT13 of anonymity... hoping for something better.
posted by weston at 11:34 AM on April 19, 2004


Email someone who has no shame and ask them to post it.

I suggest Miguel.
posted by crunchland at 11:37 AM on April 19, 2004


get a MeFite that you trust (and who has no shame, depending on what the question is) to post it for you... ?

on preview, crunchland took the first name out of my mouth! i was thinking Miguel too
posted by lnicole at 11:39 AM on April 19, 2004


Weston dear, I said it was too late because you'd already outed yourself the hypothetical anonymous AskMe poster.
posted by pieoverdone at 11:41 AM on April 19, 2004


weston-- it's a white pasty cream, and yes you do need to get a prescription. Don't delay.
posted by chaz at 11:46 AM on April 19, 2004 [1 favorite]


Probably, you wait for Matt to finish AskMeFi proper, and it'll have some sort of accommodation for this problem. In the meantime, don't scratch at it and if it gets worse, see a doctor. And for heaven's sake don't sleep with her again.
posted by fvw at 11:50 AM on April 19, 2004


I would have suggested that you ask some other user that you know and trust with the information to make the askme on your behalf -- as in "Another user asked me to ask this question...". Maybe even Matt would be willing to do so, if he only got these requests once every few months.

But now we'll know, if we see one of these, that it's Weston that's the filthy pervert looking to get the EWW! out of his Cthulhu-in-an-SS-uniform fursuit.

And indeed the magic words are always DISCONTINUE USE IF RASH DEVELOPS.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:53 AM on April 19, 2004


Get someone not mentioned in this thread to ask the question as if it applied to themselves.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:57 AM on April 19, 2004


Considering the stuff that gets talked about around here, how bad could the question be?
posted by konolia at 11:59 AM on April 19, 2004


well you could....{hears knuckles being cracked}
you could tell me in this thread. I will not tell anyone.
i will then posit the question on my own accord. i can assure you, an askme post will yield results.
there is no need to an immediate reply, you have 30 days in which to do so. If you wish to tell me/us privately this can be arranged through a predesignated back channel.
mefi#. for example. In the right hands this question will go through a transfer of almost unbeseeming ambiguity thus confidence in the post can be almost guaranteed.

thank you.
and good luck.

Y.Y Yearnings,
corroboratory co-vice alternate branch 4D/11, Office of Personnel, Kastle Insurance and Casualty.
posted by clavdivs at 12:03 PM on April 19, 2004


Just be sure to chop the body before trying to ram it all down in the garbage disposal.

And give yourself a few hours.
posted by xmutex at 12:57 PM on April 19, 2004


A friend of mine has read of your problem and suggested to me that you could get a new account, since sign-ups are open, ask your question, then never use the account again or better yet, you could could then sell the account on Ebay. Sounds good, eh? Eh? *nudge nudge, wink wink*
posted by ashbury at 1:07 PM on April 19, 2004


Just be sure to chop the body before trying to ram it all down in the garbage disposal.

And give yourself a few hours.

And DON'T try to flush it--it never works ; >

I'll ask if you want, weston--email me
posted by amberglow at 1:16 PM on April 19, 2004


I'll post it.
posted by inksyndicate at 1:22 PM on April 19, 2004


You do realize, weston, that for the next several days (if not weeks), several thousand MeFites will assume that EVERY AskMe post from inksyndicate, amberglow, ashbury, xmutex, clavdivs, konolia, Eternal Bligh, ROU_Xenophobe, fvw, chaz, pieoverdone, lnicole, crunchland, Orange Swan, LittleMissCranky, Miguel Cardoso, mathowie OR me is actually about you.

My suggestion: Chop up YOUR body before trying to ram it all down in the garbage disposal.
posted by wendell at 1:33 PM on April 19, 2004


Ask a priest, a doctor or a lawyer.
posted by 111 at 1:46 PM on April 19, 2004


I'll eventually code a way to do things anonymously, but they'll require my personal approval, so that overly illegal/silly/dangerous things don't get posted.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 1:53 PM on April 19, 2004


Handling stolen goods eh? ;-)
posted by i_cola at 2:24 PM on April 19, 2004


Why don't you try wearing a wig, sunglasses, and a fake mustache while posting?
posted by naxosaxur at 2:25 PM on April 19, 2004 [1 favorite]


weston, it's your baPLOOOMPF
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 2:33 PM on April 19, 2004


So now if anyone wants to post any embarrassing questions and deny responsibility, they can just blame weston
posted by devon at 2:49 PM on April 19, 2004


off topic, you know it's actually really really hard to get rid of a dead body. A long time ago (don't remember where or I'd post it) there was a website that described what happened as far as decomposition goes, including what happens when a body is in water a long time, or in a coffin. Gruesome yet fascinating at the same time.

And no, I have no personal experience with the task.
posted by konolia at 2:49 PM on April 19, 2004


And no, I have no personal experience with the task.


Aw, and you always tease us about your wild life pre-Jesus...c'mon--it was you, wasn't it? you can tell us. ; >
posted by amberglow at 2:59 PM on April 19, 2004


I don't know about konnie's personal experience, but that episode of "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" where the head was found in the ice bucket was a classic...
posted by wendell at 3:02 PM on April 19, 2004


Email someone who has no shame and ask them to post it.
I suggest Miguel.


Dry and heavy.
posted by anathema at 3:16 PM on April 19, 2004


If I was a bastard I'd go post an embarrassing question about "a friend" right now and weston would never sufficiently recover.
posted by The God Complex at 3:26 PM on April 19, 2004


It's tempting, isn't it?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 3:32 PM on April 19, 2004


...or how about: "A friend of mine wants to know if there are serious medical risks associated with penile reduction surgery? Does anyone know anyone who's had this done? It's a difficult condition to talk about (penis giganticus) because people think you're bragging and don't realize how embarassing it really is."
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 3:34 PM on April 19, 2004


"Dear AskMeFi.... I never thought something like this could ever happen to my friend, and I'd be writing to you about it, but...."
posted by tittergrrl at 3:48 PM on April 19, 2004


What if Weston is asking this question on behalf of someone else?
posted by Feisty at 3:50 PM on April 19, 2004


What if Weston is asking this question on behalf of someone else?

*opens mouth to speak*

*closes mouth*

*head implodes into nothingness*
posted by The God Complex at 3:54 PM on April 19, 2004


konolia:
The Body Farm


Main page ok, others NSFW, death and decomposition.
posted by karmaville at 3:58 PM on April 19, 2004


Alright, konolia, out with it. Where's Jimmy Hoffa?
posted by Dasein at 5:25 PM on April 19, 2004


Forget about Hoffa--where's WolfDaddy and Troybob? Have you been offing my people?
posted by amberglow at 5:34 PM on April 19, 2004


Hey look! The MeFi buffet is serving Soylent Green!
posted by wendell at 7:27 PM on April 19, 2004


Speaking of AskMeFi, do any of you know whatever happened to the bodies of Dear Abby and Ann Landers?
posted by wendell at 7:28 PM on April 19, 2004


Email someone who has no shame and ask them to post it. I suggest Miguel.

Unless it involves a ridiculous Flash thingy (able to be described in no more than three short words) for those recent, illiterate computer owners who find themselves confronting puberty and going through hell because of it - in which case contact crunchland. Between the both us, it's safe to say we can deal with all requests. In fact, that's what we're here for. :)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:33 PM on April 19, 2004


Hey look! The MeFi buffet is serving Soylent Green!

*gags and spits out food, looks at it, and cries*
posted by amberglow at 7:36 PM on April 19, 2004


*fvw requests As Time Goes By and waits for someone to have a hissy fit.*
posted by fvw at 7:37 PM on April 19, 2004


amber, that ain't soylent nuthin'.

thems is wendell-chops. and wendell chops is good eatin', I tell you what.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:49 PM on April 19, 2004


Forget about Hoffa--where's WolfDaddy and Troybob? Have you been offing my people?

I'm imagining amberglow as a gay La Cosa Nostra capo, now. And it's not a pretty sight.
posted by jonmc at 8:10 PM on April 19, 2004


Wow. Just wow. I can't believe how many people have volunteered to post via proxy for me. I'm gonna have to think up a dozen weird questions just to use you all.

Thanks!
posted by weston at 8:25 PM on April 19, 2004


anytime, weston

now, what's with the jrun errors tonight?
posted by amberglow at 8:34 PM on April 19, 2004


I don't want to admit being slow-witted, but is the general insinuation of these last few messages something along the lines of the porking of chops, and not porkchops?
posted by five fresh fish at 9:36 PM on April 19, 2004


amberglow, that wasn't the question I wanted you to ask...
posted by weston at 10:58 PM on April 19, 2004


Speaking of AskMeFi, do any of you know whatever happened to the bodies of Dear Abby and Ann Landers?

I'll assume *cough* this is a serious question.

Ann Landers was cremated and scattered over Lake Michigan (illegally per her daughter, aka: Dear Prudence). Dear Abby is alive but suffering from Alzheimers (DA's daughter is the current author of the DA column).
posted by deborah at 11:42 PM on April 19, 2004


I know, weston--i'm ready for your question anytime : >

(but really, has anyone else had probs getting in here since last night?)
posted by amberglow at 9:13 AM on April 20, 2004


Yeah, it appeared down for me the hours around midday (european time).
posted by fvw at 9:18 AM on April 20, 2004


weston, got anything to do with your new iPod?
posted by AwkwardPause at 9:53 AM on April 20, 2004


thanks, fvw--how's the survey going? when will we see the results?
posted by amberglow at 9:59 AM on April 20, 2004


the body/disposal thing is one of the lamer methods for hiding the goods. I'd recommend the preferred choice of Southern mobsters, a bathtub of lye!
posted by mecran01 at 10:14 AM on April 20, 2004


Is it Egypt?

I'm gonna guess Egypt.
posted by petebest at 10:58 AM on April 20, 2004


and you always tease us about your wild life pre-Jesus

no, actually she's talking about the after-Jesus part: I hear she recently disposed of a few infidels' (ie secular) corpses
posted by matteo at 11:26 AM on April 20, 2004


It actually happens to lots of guys.
No that doesnt make you look fat.
Yes, that is racism, even if it's a joke.
No. Yes. No. Yes. Sort of. Yeah. No!
Jesus, that was offensive question!

Lame post!

and

HAVENT WE ANSWERED THIS BEFORE?
posted by Peter H at 12:01 PM on April 20, 2004


Too much information.
posted by konolia at 12:24 PM on April 20, 2004 [1 favorite]


Corpse Leakage?!? It reminds me of the fact that, when I had Congestive Heart Failure, the hospital drained over 30 pounds of excess water from me in a week... Excuse me, I gotta pee...
posted by wendell at 12:31 PM on April 20, 2004


Corpse Leakage?!?

That's the new death metal band from Denmark, right?
posted by jonmc at 1:01 PM on April 20, 2004


MetaAsking about AskMe:

"You got your zombies in my anonymous post!"

"No! You got your anonymous bits in my zombies thread!"
posted by taz at 1:43 PM on April 20, 2004


OK, I'm going to perform one more trick today: I've received so many offers to post via proxy that what I've decided to do is... serve as a proxy broker. If anybody else has a question they'd like to ask anonymously, email me, and we'll see if we can match the needs of your question to a volunteer proxy... CALL NOW! Operators are standing buy! Moneyback guarantee!
posted by weston at 5:00 PM on April 20, 2004


cool--great idea, weston : >
posted by amberglow at 5:03 PM on April 20, 2004


oh, but what about your post?
posted by amberglow at 5:24 PM on April 20, 2004


He'll slip it in as one of the "proxy" posts and have it end up anonymous anyway -- even from the person who posts it! Devious, man.
posted by gleuschk at 5:37 PM on April 20, 2004


ahhh...smart kid, that weston.
posted by amberglow at 5:40 PM on April 20, 2004


Or he'll just ask the question himself, insisting that he has just decided that, instead of passing it on, he'll just go ahead and act as the proxy. So we come full circle, where he can now post "A fellow anonymous mefite woke up wth this huge..." and we are left to wonder.
posted by vacapinta at 9:37 PM on April 20, 2004


A fellow anonymous mefite woke up wth this huge...
pus-filled boil?
raging erection?
tarantula sitting on his chest a la Peter Brady in Hawaii?
posted by amberglow at 10:40 AM on April 21, 2004


A fellow anonymous mefite woke up with this huge...
stain on the bedsheets?
deadline?
pizza?
phone bill?
horde of zombies busting through the door?
SUV?
ugly person of the opposite sex?
ugly person of the same sex?
ugly dog?
unidentified download?
buddy list?
job offer from Donald Trump?
terrorist cell hiding out in my bathroom?
scar and a note from someone saying 'thanks for the kidney'?
appetite for destruction?

please....
somebody....
stop me....

posted by wendell at 11:44 AM on April 21, 2004


... tract of land?

/Python
posted by yhbc at 6:26 PM on April 21, 2004


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