Way, way inappropriate. June 6, 2004 7:26 PM Subscribe
Well while I agree with you that his comments on that thread are inappropriate and that maybe they're the symptom of psycological problems ..or in other words that he's a ass.
Yet, I think they should remain as a reminder.
posted by elpapacito at 7:33 PM on June 6, 2004
Yet, I think they should remain as a reminder.
posted by elpapacito at 7:33 PM on June 6, 2004
Demoi's comments and all followups need to be erased immediately.
I'll take my Metafilter censorship-free, thanks.
posted by PrinceValium at 7:37 PM on June 6, 2004
I'll take my Metafilter censorship-free, thanks.
posted by PrinceValium at 7:37 PM on June 6, 2004
hee hee hee!
haw haw haw!
chuckle!
snigger!
chortle!
snort!
posted by quonsar at 7:37 PM on June 6, 2004
haw haw haw!
chuckle!
snigger!
chortle!
snort!
posted by quonsar at 7:37 PM on June 6, 2004
I think maybe he was trying to be funny? (but i agree--totally inappropriate and assholey)
posted by amberglow at 7:38 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by amberglow at 7:38 PM on June 6, 2004
There's clearly something very wrong with delmoi, we should leave him be.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:39 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:39 PM on June 6, 2004
I agree with elpapacito. That someone is insensitive and boorish might be grounds for dismissal, but it take an utterly heinous post for someone to deserve "disappearing". I don't think this is it.
posted by websavvy at 7:41 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by websavvy at 7:41 PM on June 6, 2004
I don't want him to be "disappeared" - I find his comments highly offensive to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one because of a suicide. I don't think that's anything to joke about. All of the other commenters are at least sympathetic to the poster, even if they don't agree with blaming GSK.
posted by grateful at 7:48 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by grateful at 7:48 PM on June 6, 2004
Grateful, I'm sure the poster knew she ran the risk of having an idiotic statement like that posted in the thread-
this is Mefi after all. Sad but true. This is a dangerous place for a grieving person.
posted by konolia at 8:03 PM on June 6, 2004
this is Mefi after all. Sad but true. This is a dangerous place for a grieving person.
posted by konolia at 8:03 PM on June 6, 2004
delmoi was insensitive.
He was also absolutely correct, and that's the crux of the post, isn't it?
He shouldn't have shot himself, but he did. Was it because of the Paxil?
Ay, there's the rub.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:06 PM on June 6, 2004
He was also absolutely correct, and that's the crux of the post, isn't it?
He shouldn't have shot himself, but he did. Was it because of the Paxil?
Ay, there's the rub.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:06 PM on June 6, 2004
Crash- That's true, but do you think that that's what delmoi's point was? To amplify the original post? Or are you ascribing intent to let him off the hook?
posted by grateful at 8:11 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by grateful at 8:11 PM on June 6, 2004
I don't think the discussion is helped by including a one sentence 900 pound elephant in the FPP.
It's like saying "Bush's policies in Iraq sucks and my brother just died there".
posted by smackfu at 8:14 PM on June 6, 2004
It's like saying "Bush's policies in Iraq sucks and my brother just died there".
posted by smackfu at 8:14 PM on June 6, 2004
Surely if you offer such personal information on the front page of a wildly popular website you should expect at least 1% asshattery. We're not your support group, just your soapbox. Perhaps you should start with the way, way inappropriate comments in the Reagan thread.
posted by Stan Chin at 8:19 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by Stan Chin at 8:19 PM on June 6, 2004
"...are you ascribing intent to let him off the hook?"
I'm just feeling generous today, grateful. Try not to spoil it for me.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:27 PM on June 6, 2004
I'm just feeling generous today, grateful. Try not to spoil it for me.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:27 PM on June 6, 2004
this is Mefi after all. Sad but true. This is a dangerous place for a grieving person to broadcast their grief over their father's suicide on the front page.
In short, yeah. Way, way inappropriate.
(delmoi was certainly insensitive, but (unfortunately) approrpriately so, given the FPP.)
posted by soyjoy at 8:43 PM on June 6, 2004
In short, yeah. Way, way inappropriate.
(delmoi was certainly insensitive, but (unfortunately) approrpriately so, given the FPP.)
posted by soyjoy at 8:43 PM on June 6, 2004
I agree that Lusy P Hur's post was not the best idea. It conflates personal grief with public policy making it impossible to discuss this issue without treading into Lusy's pain.
But "he/she asked for it" is not an excuse for an attack. It's not.
I also understand that delmoi very well may be someone who, like Lusy, has suffered the loss of a relative to suicide and is pissed at that person (which is both common and valid) and was expressing that anger via the comment.
But that has nothing to do with Lusy, and it doesn't in the least justify being deeply insensitive to Lusy.
Finally, I also understand that there may be a more general, abstracted antipathy for suicides that might be expressed by delmoi's type of comment.
But that doesn't make it the right sort of thing to write/say to Lusy or people like Lusy.
As I said in the thread, delmoi's comment was gratuitously cruel. There's no excuse for it.
And, Stan, if I thought that a member of Reagan's family was reading MeFi, I might be more circumspect in celebrating his death. But he's a public figure, people everywhere right now are mourning him as a great man, and a little (or more than a little) disprespect is appropriate if you believe, as I do, that he was far, far from a great man. If you can't see the difference between being vitriolic about the death of a famous, loved and hated politician and the suicide of a MeFite's father, then, frankly, you're an imbecile. A willful imbecile, which is much worse.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:12 PM on June 6, 2004
But "he/she asked for it" is not an excuse for an attack. It's not.
I also understand that delmoi very well may be someone who, like Lusy, has suffered the loss of a relative to suicide and is pissed at that person (which is both common and valid) and was expressing that anger via the comment.
But that has nothing to do with Lusy, and it doesn't in the least justify being deeply insensitive to Lusy.
Finally, I also understand that there may be a more general, abstracted antipathy for suicides that might be expressed by delmoi's type of comment.
But that doesn't make it the right sort of thing to write/say to Lusy or people like Lusy.
As I said in the thread, delmoi's comment was gratuitously cruel. There's no excuse for it.
And, Stan, if I thought that a member of Reagan's family was reading MeFi, I might be more circumspect in celebrating his death. But he's a public figure, people everywhere right now are mourning him as a great man, and a little (or more than a little) disprespect is appropriate if you believe, as I do, that he was far, far from a great man. If you can't see the difference between being vitriolic about the death of a famous, loved and hated politician and the suicide of a MeFite's father, then, frankly, you're an imbecile. A willful imbecile, which is much worse.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:12 PM on June 6, 2004
Jesus, it took you that many paragraphs to get to the 'frankly...' part?
posted by Stan Chin at 9:26 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by Stan Chin at 9:26 PM on June 6, 2004
then, frankly, you're an imbecile. A willful imbecile, which is much worse.
Am I the only one who doesn't want more name-calling and rudeness on this site? When Matt opened the doors for a couple of days, after over a year of almost zero new members, I was hoping that this site would see a group of optimistic, or at least civil, bunch of people who wanted to contribute beneficial material.
This site is full of bitter cranks who don't give a shit about each other. It's been done. Repeatedly. Perhaps kinder words could end some of the more obvious petty rivalry and, perhaps, make this place more enjoyable to visit.
posted by BlueTrain at 9:26 PM on June 6, 2004
Am I the only one who doesn't want more name-calling and rudeness on this site? When Matt opened the doors for a couple of days, after over a year of almost zero new members, I was hoping that this site would see a group of optimistic, or at least civil, bunch of people who wanted to contribute beneficial material.
This site is full of bitter cranks who don't give a shit about each other. It's been done. Repeatedly. Perhaps kinder words could end some of the more obvious petty rivalry and, perhaps, make this place more enjoyable to visit.
posted by BlueTrain at 9:26 PM on June 6, 2004
Well, hell, Stan's complaining about people being nasty about Ronald Reagan, for crissakes, and complaining that it's worse than being nasty about the recent suicide of a MetaFilter member's father. Those are some deeply misplaced priorities. Qualifies as imbecilic in my book. He's making apologies for a rudeness that goes far, far, far beyond my calling him an imbecile.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:36 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:36 PM on June 6, 2004
People on metafilter are rewarded for being assholes first, and coming up with good links, second.
posted by crunchland at 9:37 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by crunchland at 9:37 PM on June 6, 2004
Oh, and Stan, the "frankly" was a footnote. Next time, I'll post a seperate comment when I want to insult you, okay? It'll be easier for everyone that way.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:37 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:37 PM on June 6, 2004
"...a rudeness that goes far, far, far beyond my calling him an imbecile"
STAN'S A BIGGER DICK THAN I AM! NYAH-NYAH-NYAH-NYAH!
I say that with all the love in the world for both EB and Stan, of course
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:39 PM on June 6, 2004
STAN'S A BIGGER DICK THAN I AM! NYAH-NYAH-NYAH-NYAH!
I say that with all the love in the world for both EB and Stan, of course
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:39 PM on June 6, 2004
Crash, actually, I was saying that delmoi is a much bigger dick than I am. It's not clear how I was comparatively evaluating mine and Stan's dickness.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:41 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:41 PM on June 6, 2004
complaining that it's worse than being nasty about the recent suicide of a MetaFilter member's father.
He said no such thing. If you'd like to infer not-so-obvious judgments, perhaps you could fill me in on your logic. Regarding Stan Chin's comment, I tend to agree with soyjoy and Stan Chin that the statement didn't belong on the front page. We all have personal issues that deserve attention; however, MeFi is not the place. Both the terrible comments in the Reagan thread and the one-line elephant are bad. Whether one is worse than the other, though, is not the point.
posted by BlueTrain at 9:43 PM on June 6, 2004
He said no such thing. If you'd like to infer not-so-obvious judgments, perhaps you could fill me in on your logic. Regarding Stan Chin's comment, I tend to agree with soyjoy and Stan Chin that the statement didn't belong on the front page. We all have personal issues that deserve attention; however, MeFi is not the place. Both the terrible comments in the Reagan thread and the one-line elephant are bad. Whether one is worse than the other, though, is not the point.
posted by BlueTrain at 9:43 PM on June 6, 2004
"Crash, actually, I was saying that delmoi is a much bigger dick than I am."
My apologies.
Stan, your small-dickedness is as yet unparalleled.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:44 PM on June 6, 2004
My apologies.
Stan, your small-dickedness is as yet unparalleled.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:44 PM on June 6, 2004
People... mesmerizing as it is, try to concentrate at the issue at hand instead of what's in my hand.
Well, I forgot what we were talking about anyway. Continue on about my small dick.
posted by Stan Chin at 9:59 PM on June 6, 2004
Well, I forgot what we were talking about anyway. Continue on about my small dick.
posted by Stan Chin at 9:59 PM on June 6, 2004
As an FPP, that one sucked royally and should be deleted regardless of delmoi's comment (which itself probably has more truth to it than some of the faux 'condolences' expressed in the thread).
posted by mischief at 10:03 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by mischief at 10:03 PM on June 6, 2004
I was saying that delmoi is a much bigger dick than I am
Gender-specific hate crime!
posted by dhoyt at 10:08 PM on June 6, 2004
Gender-specific hate crime!
posted by dhoyt at 10:08 PM on June 6, 2004
MetaFilter: We're not your support group, just your soapbox.
posted by davidmsc at 10:08 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by davidmsc at 10:08 PM on June 6, 2004
If you put your very personal business up for public comment, chances are you're going to get, you know, public commentary, and that some of it will be unpleasant. And that's all the comment was--unpleasant. It was not a personal attack. It was not abusive. It was different from what someone wanted to hear.
Regarding personal attacks in the blue, I wish there was a zero tolerance approach. Critique the post (and potentially the posting history), not the poster. It can be a fine line, but it should still be observed, and even a zealous enforcement of it would not find that comment out of line.
That certainly doesn't make it a good comment, though. Even though it's undoubtably correct, it's failed to serve any positive purpose the poster may have had in mind because the delivery has completely overshadowed any value that may have been present in the idea.
posted by NortonDC at 10:16 PM on June 6, 2004
Regarding personal attacks in the blue, I wish there was a zero tolerance approach. Critique the post (and potentially the posting history), not the poster. It can be a fine line, but it should still be observed, and even a zealous enforcement of it would not find that comment out of line.
That certainly doesn't make it a good comment, though. Even though it's undoubtably correct, it's failed to serve any positive purpose the poster may have had in mind because the delivery has completely overshadowed any value that may have been present in the idea.
posted by NortonDC at 10:16 PM on June 6, 2004
Maybe I'm a twisted fuck (actually, I know I am), but Delmoi's brought a small smile to my face. I have been down that dark path as have many of my friends While I am no psychologist, when they're getting near that point of death, saying something so blatantly obvious such as demloi's comment has always eased up even the tightest of situations. Dunno, I am one for bluntness- something which unless sugar-coated is increasingly seen as been egregiously inappropriate.
posted by jmd82 at 10:25 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by jmd82 at 10:25 PM on June 6, 2004
Poor judgment, meet stupidity. Stupidity, meet poor judgement.
Delmoi's comment was mean, for sure, but not deletable. I believe s/he was saying that corporations can't be held accountable for acts of volition on the part of an individual. This is not a very sympathetic point to offer someone whose Dad just commited suicide, but it is one valid point that belongs somewhere in this discussion, topically.
So, as much as I respect your right to complain, grateful, even to condemn, I think this place will be something less if Matt bows to your "outrage."
I myself will add that suicide is fucked, but it is a personal choice for at least some of the people who undertake it, which can be deserving of respect, however gruding.
I wouldn't bother to defend suicide, except that Lusy P Hur's personal anecdote provides little to the thread except dramatic effect, almost as if s/he was willing to use it, in a fit of grief, as a punchline to bring down the big bad corporation. As if no one ever commits suicide for legitimate personal reasons. Sadly enough, they can and sometimes do.
Many sympathies to your family in a difficult time, Lusy P Hur. I hope that you won't demote the personal life of anyone in your family to the point where it matters AT ALL what ANYONE here on this WEBSITE thinks or says. I'm very sorry for your loss.
posted by scarabic at 10:45 PM on June 6, 2004
Delmoi's comment was mean, for sure, but not deletable. I believe s/he was saying that corporations can't be held accountable for acts of volition on the part of an individual. This is not a very sympathetic point to offer someone whose Dad just commited suicide, but it is one valid point that belongs somewhere in this discussion, topically.
So, as much as I respect your right to complain, grateful, even to condemn, I think this place will be something less if Matt bows to your "outrage."
I myself will add that suicide is fucked, but it is a personal choice for at least some of the people who undertake it, which can be deserving of respect, however gruding.
I wouldn't bother to defend suicide, except that Lusy P Hur's personal anecdote provides little to the thread except dramatic effect, almost as if s/he was willing to use it, in a fit of grief, as a punchline to bring down the big bad corporation. As if no one ever commits suicide for legitimate personal reasons. Sadly enough, they can and sometimes do.
Many sympathies to your family in a difficult time, Lusy P Hur. I hope that you won't demote the personal life of anyone in your family to the point where it matters AT ALL what ANYONE here on this WEBSITE thinks or says. I'm very sorry for your loss.
posted by scarabic at 10:45 PM on June 6, 2004
Lusy P Hur, my thoughts are with you as well.
Is delmoi around to answer about that one snipey comment? Delmoi is no newbie. They know that saying something like that in what is largely a personal thread (regardless of its actual merits as a FPP) was going to draw some fire, and I was kind of hoping they'd be around to address it.
posted by chicobangs at 11:16 PM on June 6, 2004
Is delmoi around to answer about that one snipey comment? Delmoi is no newbie. They know that saying something like that in what is largely a personal thread (regardless of its actual merits as a FPP) was going to draw some fire, and I was kind of hoping they'd be around to address it.
posted by chicobangs at 11:16 PM on June 6, 2004
Again, I completely agree that the post was bad given the personal issues and whatnot (although I fail to see how given that 90% of most of all the other FPPs are similarly axe-grinding). And I agreed that delmoi's point was a valid point. But it was just plain mean to make it directly about Lusy's father. He said, "Well, he probably shouldn't have shot himself." Instead of making the general point, he specifically made it about Lusy's father in response to the sentence that ended Lusy's post. If delmoi just had that general point to make, he sure made it in as "in your face" to Lusy as possible.
If a MeFi member made the mistake of posting an anti-death penalty post and mentioned that his/her father was executed after being tried and convicted of murder, in the context of the general discussion a statement of "he deserved it" (about an executed convict) would probably be appropriate or at least defensible. But saying that directly to (or in the presence of) the poster would not. It'd just be mean. That's a darn good reason why Lusy's post and those like it don't belong, but it doesn't excuse someone being a complete asshole in response. Indeed, someone like Lusy can be forgiven for a) posting a BiasFIlter post (because almost everyone does); b) posting about something he/she feels strongly about for personal reasons (because many people do); and posting when distraught. Delmoi was just egregiously being fucking mean. I find that much harder to forgive.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:25 PM on June 6, 2004
If a MeFi member made the mistake of posting an anti-death penalty post and mentioned that his/her father was executed after being tried and convicted of murder, in the context of the general discussion a statement of "he deserved it" (about an executed convict) would probably be appropriate or at least defensible. But saying that directly to (or in the presence of) the poster would not. It'd just be mean. That's a darn good reason why Lusy's post and those like it don't belong, but it doesn't excuse someone being a complete asshole in response. Indeed, someone like Lusy can be forgiven for a) posting a BiasFIlter post (because almost everyone does); b) posting about something he/she feels strongly about for personal reasons (because many people do); and posting when distraught. Delmoi was just egregiously being fucking mean. I find that much harder to forgive.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:25 PM on June 6, 2004
But it was just plain mean to make it directly about Lusy's father.
Lusy made it about her father, not delmoi.
But saying that directly to (or in the presence of) the poster would not.
No, it's exactly as fair for delmoi to be pointedly personal as it is for Lusy. No more, no less.
posted by NortonDC at 11:31 PM on June 6, 2004
Lusy made it about her father, not delmoi.
But saying that directly to (or in the presence of) the poster would not.
No, it's exactly as fair for delmoi to be pointedly personal as it is for Lusy. No more, no less.
posted by NortonDC at 11:31 PM on June 6, 2004
Although delmoi's comment was beyond the pale, of course, I'm surprised that nobody else thought a frowny emoticon :( was also jaw-droppingly out of place.
Still, that's nothing like being deliberately mean for no readily apparent reason, I'll grant you.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:37 PM on June 6, 2004
Still, that's nothing like being deliberately mean for no readily apparent reason, I'll grant you.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:37 PM on June 6, 2004
Delmoi was just egregiously being fucking mean
To be expected though, this place isn't known for it's overflowing kindess. I'd just as soon post something intensely personal to alt.flame.
posted by bargle at 11:39 PM on June 6, 2004
To be expected though, this place isn't known for it's overflowing kindess. I'd just as soon post something intensely personal to alt.flame.
posted by bargle at 11:39 PM on June 6, 2004
this place isn't known for it's overflowing kindess.
Odd, I've always thought precisely the opposite. There used to be a zero-tolerance policy for stupidity, sure, but I've always thought that the people here were kind folk, for the most part, if a little quick on the snark-button.
Snarkiness is different from meanness, I reckon.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:42 PM on June 6, 2004
Odd, I've always thought precisely the opposite. There used to be a zero-tolerance policy for stupidity, sure, but I've always thought that the people here were kind folk, for the most part, if a little quick on the snark-button.
Snarkiness is different from meanness, I reckon.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:42 PM on June 6, 2004
Sure. Stan wrote:"'...complaining that it's worse than being nasty about the recent suicide of a MetaFilter member's father.'—EB"He said no such thing. If you'd like to infer not-so-obvious judgments, perhaps you could fill me in on your logic."—BlueTrain
"Surely if you offer such personal information on the front page of a wildly popular website you should expect at least 1% asshattery. We're not your support group, just your soapbox. Perhaps you should start with the way, way inappropriate comments in the Reagan thread."He confusingly equiovocates "you", but in context it's clear that the first "you" and "your" are generic; e.g., "...if one offers such personal information...". The "you" in the final sentence, however, can only refer to grateful's MeTa callout of delmoi.
That made absolutely clear, let's continue.
Stan's first two sentences are arguments at least weakly defending delmoi's comment on the basis of "he/she was asking for it". Then he goes on to advise grateful to "start with the way, way inappropriate comments in the Reagan thread." This sentence alone implies that delmoi's comment was less inappropriate than those on the Reagan thread by asserting their priority. Coupled with its close proximity to a defense of delmoi, I think it's indisputable that Stan quite deliberately intended to make the claim that the Reagan comments were more inappropriate than delmoi's.
So, it's not a matter of my inference being "not-so-obvious" as it is, perhaps, of either the confusion caused by Stan's equivocation of "you" or, perhaps, your careless reading. In either event, I'm happy to have cleared this up for you.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:43 PM on June 6, 2004
The issue isn't being personal, NortonDC, it's being deliberately insensitive to a particular person. This isn't rocket science. But I'll try to keep this in mind the next time you ever mention anything personal in a post or comment. By your logic, anyone would then have free-reign to say anything to you about it, no matter how insulting or hurtful, simply because you brought it up.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:46 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:46 PM on June 6, 2004
"anyone would then have free-reign to say anything to you about it" : Absolutely! I have mentioned in comments that I am bisexual, that I have more than a few mental and physical illnesses, and that my marriage was miserably dysfunctional. I certainly did not expect pampering from this lot.
posted by mischief at 11:54 PM on June 6, 2004
posted by mischief at 11:54 PM on June 6, 2004
Ethereal Bligh - But I'll try to keep this in mind the next time you ever mention anything personal in a post or comment.
Hey, rocket scientist, go ahead and read all my 2404 posts and comments, and my blog, and see how often I've made my personal life the justification for a comment in here. Not that you're even showing any great attention to what I've written in this thread, since I explicitly condemned personal insults in the the comment you're responding to. But why let that stop your rant?
Now, for anyone else, yes, you do explicitly have my permission to speak painful truths directly to me. Shielding me from hard truths is no fucking favor as far as I'm concerned.
posted by NortonDC at 12:30 AM on June 7, 2004
Hey, rocket scientist, go ahead and read all my 2404 posts and comments, and my blog, and see how often I've made my personal life the justification for a comment in here. Not that you're even showing any great attention to what I've written in this thread, since I explicitly condemned personal insults in the the comment you're responding to. But why let that stop your rant?
Now, for anyone else, yes, you do explicitly have my permission to speak painful truths directly to me. Shielding me from hard truths is no fucking favor as far as I'm concerned.
posted by NortonDC at 12:30 AM on June 7, 2004
Very much what smackfu said.
It was a loaded FPP. I, for one, inwardly cringed when I saw it.
I don't think we should treat delmoi's comment any differently than we would treat an identical comment about some obscure stranger in any other FPP.
I was hoping that this site would see a group of optimistic, or at least civil, bunch of people who wanted to contribute beneficial material.
This site is full of bitter cranks who don't give a shit about each other.
BlueTrain: Leading by example since 13485.
posted by rafter at 12:37 AM on June 7, 2004
It was a loaded FPP. I, for one, inwardly cringed when I saw it.
I don't think we should treat delmoi's comment any differently than we would treat an identical comment about some obscure stranger in any other FPP.
I was hoping that this site would see a group of optimistic, or at least civil, bunch of people who wanted to contribute beneficial material.
This site is full of bitter cranks who don't give a shit about each other.
BlueTrain: Leading by example since 13485.
posted by rafter at 12:37 AM on June 7, 2004
Actually, I find delmoi's statement ambiguous. I'm not really convinced that he was saying what it seemed like he was saying. For example, in the comment just preceding his, aladfar says (among many other, less positive, observations) "...there's no denying that Paxil, and drugs like it, have done a great deal of good" and "I am grateful to them for helping me get my life back".
Isn't it possible that delmoi was responding to those certain statements with "Well (then), he probably shouldn't have shot himself (if the drug is so helpful)"? The comment as phrased doesn't make any sense to me otherwise.
posted by taz at 1:33 AM on June 7, 2004
Isn't it possible that delmoi was responding to those certain statements with "Well (then), he probably shouldn't have shot himself (if the drug is so helpful)"? The comment as phrased doesn't make any sense to me otherwise.
posted by taz at 1:33 AM on June 7, 2004
"This is a dangerous place for a grieving person"
well, I don't know. but what it certainly isn't, nor it should be, is a support group -- as stated already in this thread, and I also remember mathowie making the same point. in a bunnyfire thread, if I'm not mistaken.
personal tragedies are horrible, and one's heart goes out to people who suffer. but sharing them on MeFi's front page is certainly not the best idea
posted by matteo at 2:46 AM on June 7, 2004
well, I don't know. but what it certainly isn't, nor it should be, is a support group -- as stated already in this thread, and I also remember mathowie making the same point. in a bunnyfire thread, if I'm not mistaken.
personal tragedies are horrible, and one's heart goes out to people who suffer. but sharing them on MeFi's front page is certainly not the best idea
posted by matteo at 2:46 AM on June 7, 2004
Yeah, y'all were all the height of compassion back when I was ill. Not.
It's funny-almost every other online community I have been involved with iis really supportive to its longterm members when times are bad. This one, on the other hand, would eat its young given the opportunity.
But my point is that most members here already know that and should not be surprised when insensitive posts are made.
posted by konolia at 4:17 AM on June 7, 2004
It's funny-almost every other online community I have been involved with iis really supportive to its longterm members when times are bad. This one, on the other hand, would eat its young given the opportunity.
But my point is that most members here already know that and should not be surprised when insensitive posts are made.
posted by konolia at 4:17 AM on June 7, 2004
Lusy P Hur is male, not female. The name's a play on Lucifer.
I'm surprised that nobody else thought a frowny emoticon :( was also jaw-droppingly out of place.
Thanks for making me giggle, stavros. I'm not sure if your post was intended to be funny (since there was an appalling lack of emoticons to guide me through it) but it was the highlight of this pathetic thread. Anyway, that's a sad emoticon. This is a frowny emoticon >: One is viewed from the left, and one is viewed from the right.
Speaking of emoticons. I keep seeing this cat everywhere:
=^..^=
I believe it's supposed to be whiskers, and then an ear, and then eyes, and another ear, and whiskers, but I see it as whiskers, a closed happy eye, two nostrils, another closed happy eye, and more whiskers. If viewed the first way, the whiskers appear to be growing directly out of the ears, and if viewed the second way, they appear to be growing directly out of its eyes. Neither looks right. But if you add cheeks, like so:
=(^..^)=
then the whiskers are growing in the right place, but it doesn't look like a cat anymore.
Just a little something something to think about.
posted by iconomy at 5:39 AM on June 7, 2004
I'm surprised that nobody else thought a frowny emoticon :( was also jaw-droppingly out of place.
Thanks for making me giggle, stavros. I'm not sure if your post was intended to be funny (since there was an appalling lack of emoticons to guide me through it) but it was the highlight of this pathetic thread. Anyway, that's a sad emoticon. This is a frowny emoticon >: One is viewed from the left, and one is viewed from the right.
Speaking of emoticons. I keep seeing this cat everywhere:
=^..^=
I believe it's supposed to be whiskers, and then an ear, and then eyes, and another ear, and whiskers, but I see it as whiskers, a closed happy eye, two nostrils, another closed happy eye, and more whiskers. If viewed the first way, the whiskers appear to be growing directly out of the ears, and if viewed the second way, they appear to be growing directly out of its eyes. Neither looks right. But if you add cheeks, like so:
=(^..^)=
then the whiskers are growing in the right place, but it doesn't look like a cat anymore.
Just a little something something to think about.
posted by iconomy at 5:39 AM on June 7, 2004
Put me in the camp of those who think that "My Dad was on Paxil until 26 days ago..... that's when he shot himself" was far more inappropriate for the site than delmoi's response.
posted by rushmc at 6:01 AM on June 7, 2004
posted by rushmc at 6:01 AM on June 7, 2004
delmoi witnessed a terrible car crash this morning. strangely, when he remarked "that guy probably shouldn't have run the red light", nobody called for his deletion from the onlookers.
posted by quonsar at 6:32 AM on June 7, 2004
posted by quonsar at 6:32 AM on June 7, 2004
I don't think delmoi's response was out of line.
Lusy's dad shouldn't have shot himself. That's a truth. Be it because of the drug or the depression, it's still true. Do people think it was out of line because delmoi didn't offer condolances? Well, in a public area, as metafilter is, I think separating personal from everything else is key, and is also oft forgot.
No crime here, methinks.
posted by dazed_one at 8:43 AM on June 7, 2004
Lusy's dad shouldn't have shot himself. That's a truth. Be it because of the drug or the depression, it's still true. Do people think it was out of line because delmoi didn't offer condolances? Well, in a public area, as metafilter is, I think separating personal from everything else is key, and is also oft forgot.
No crime here, methinks.
posted by dazed_one at 8:43 AM on June 7, 2004
This site is full of bitter cranks who don't give a shit about each other.
This site is full of bitter cranks with affection for each other too.
posted by rcade at 8:48 AM on June 7, 2004
This site is full of bitter cranks with affection for each other too.
posted by rcade at 8:48 AM on June 7, 2004
Then he goes on to advise grateful to "start with the way, way inappropriate comments in the Reagan thread." This sentence alone implies that delmoi's comment was less inappropriate than those on the Reagan thread by asserting their priority.
The bold section (emphasis mine) is where we part ways. When I saw the "dad shot himself" line, I considered the comment to be incredibly inappropriate for the front page (although I truly am sorry for the event). I don't believe it was Stan Chin's intention, nor is it mine, to imply that Reagan-bashing is more or less appropriate than "dad shot himself"; merely I believe he was stating that both were inappropriate and he's showing his disapproval for the lack of condemnation for the former. (This will be my last comment in this thread; dissecting the semantics of tragic personal events online doesn't sit well with me)
posted by BlueTrain at 9:20 AM on June 7, 2004
The bold section (emphasis mine) is where we part ways. When I saw the "dad shot himself" line, I considered the comment to be incredibly inappropriate for the front page (although I truly am sorry for the event). I don't believe it was Stan Chin's intention, nor is it mine, to imply that Reagan-bashing is more or less appropriate than "dad shot himself"; merely I believe he was stating that both were inappropriate and he's showing his disapproval for the lack of condemnation for the former. (This will be my last comment in this thread; dissecting the semantics of tragic personal events online doesn't sit well with me)
posted by BlueTrain at 9:20 AM on June 7, 2004
This site is full of bitter cranks who don't give a shit about each other.
This site is full of bitter cranks with affection for each other too.
You're so right, rcade [smooch].
posted by orange swan at 9:36 AM on June 7, 2004
This site is full of bitter cranks with affection for each other too.
You're so right, rcade [smooch].
posted by orange swan at 9:36 AM on June 7, 2004
hi iconomy!
I thought that this was =(^..^)= goats.cx - you know, the hands, the butt cheeks, etc., but I guess I was wrong. On second thought, it should clearly be =(^o^)=
As far as I am concerned, these wretched little drawings are right up there with mime, and I have never been good at interpolating either. :-(
posted by madamjujujive at 9:43 AM on June 7, 2004
I thought that this was =(^..^)= goats.cx - you know, the hands, the butt cheeks, etc., but I guess I was wrong. On second thought, it should clearly be =(^o^)=
As far as I am concerned, these wretched little drawings are right up there with mime, and I have never been good at interpolating either. :-(
posted by madamjujujive at 9:43 AM on June 7, 2004
I'd like to note that almost 95% of my comments are fart related, and deriving any well-thought machinations of grammar or logic designed into them is really goofy.
posted by Stan Chin at 9:52 AM on June 7, 2004
posted by Stan Chin at 9:52 AM on June 7, 2004
It's funny-almost every other online community I have been involved with iis really supportive to its longterm members when times are bad. This one, on the other hand, would eat its young given the opportunity.
You know konolia... I was *this* close to trotting out the "actions of a few" defense, but screw that. I'd certainly eat your young, given the chance.
posted by scarabic at 11:38 AM on June 7, 2004
You know konolia... I was *this* close to trotting out the "actions of a few" defense, but screw that. I'd certainly eat your young, given the chance.
posted by scarabic at 11:38 AM on June 7, 2004
Lusy should not have posted an obituary for her family member on the front page.
Delmoi does generally act like a dick though.
Ethereal Bligh perfected his Singing Tiger Fist, and avenged his master in a duel on the castle walls, with rain pouring down, and for some reason there were cranes there too.
Crash Davis continued driving his rig across the country, thinking always of the life he left behind.
Stan Chin went on to become mayor of town... and that girl in the pigtails? Why, she's now Mrs. Chin.
And me? Well... I never did find another dog quite like old Sniffy.
posted by Hildago at 11:41 AM on June 7, 2004
Delmoi does generally act like a dick though.
Ethereal Bligh perfected his Singing Tiger Fist, and avenged his master in a duel on the castle walls, with rain pouring down, and for some reason there were cranes there too.
Crash Davis continued driving his rig across the country, thinking always of the life he left behind.
Stan Chin went on to become mayor of town... and that girl in the pigtails? Why, she's now Mrs. Chin.
And me? Well... I never did find another dog quite like old Sniffy.
posted by Hildago at 11:41 AM on June 7, 2004
What do people have against mimes? You almost never see them anymore. They stay in their little mime neighborhoods, they're quiet (have you ever had to call the cops on a mime party that ran late? I didn't think so.), they're fastidiously clean except for that they don't always shower, and yeah, okay, they're always wearing those damned striped shirts with the suspenders that always stink with that mime-funk, making fucking balloon animals and mocking you unmerciful behind your back until you just wanna pull out a flame thrower or something . . .
. . .
But underneath the pancake makeup is a misunderstood creature that just wants to be loved, not unlike you and me.
Also, some of them seem to want out of that invisible box.
posted by chicobangs at 11:43 AM on June 7, 2004
. . .
But underneath the pancake makeup is a misunderstood creature that just wants to be loved, not unlike you and me.
Also, some of them seem to want out of that invisible box.
posted by chicobangs at 11:43 AM on June 7, 2004
Now, for anyone else, yes, you do explicitly have my permission to speak painful truths directly to me. Shielding me from hard truths is no fucking favor as far as I'm concerned.
So....Are you enjoying that camera?
posted by elwoodwiles at 11:48 AM on June 7, 2004
So....Are you enjoying that camera?
posted by elwoodwiles at 11:48 AM on June 7, 2004
This one, on the other hand, would eat its young given the opportunity.
I'd certainly eat your young, given the chance.
Konolia: post some pics of your daughters?
posted by dhoyt at 1:33 PM on June 7, 2004
I'd certainly eat your young, given the chance.
Konolia: post some pics of your daughters?
posted by dhoyt at 1:33 PM on June 7, 2004
Then my jibe worked: we've bookended the thread with "inappropriate" comments. The circle is complete.
posted by dhoyt at 3:14 PM on June 7, 2004
posted by dhoyt at 3:14 PM on June 7, 2004
Circle jerk?
Considering that I'd just made a crack about eating her children, I feel I'm on poor ground for lecturing you about taste, dhoyt, but you're right, you definitely ran somewhere nasty with that one.
posted by scarabic at 5:23 PM on June 7, 2004
Considering that I'd just made a crack about eating her children, I feel I'm on poor ground for lecturing you about taste, dhoyt, but you're right, you definitely ran somewhere nasty with that one.
posted by scarabic at 5:23 PM on June 7, 2004
Yeah, dhoyt, I'd say that was nasty. If you were down in Carolina, Mr. konolia could be forgiven for shooting you, but I'd say an apology would do, cheif.
posted by jonmc at 5:30 PM on June 7, 2004
posted by jonmc at 5:30 PM on June 7, 2004
The new AskMe thread on getting ripped off on an apartment visit shows that Delmoi's spirit lives on.
"You shouldn't have flown across the country for an apartment"
posted by inksyndicate at 6:44 PM on June 7, 2004
"You shouldn't have flown across the country for an apartment"
posted by inksyndicate at 6:44 PM on June 7, 2004
My girls are 18 and 17 respectively, and one has already kicked a guy where it counts because he made a crude comment to her. I wouldn't go there if I were you.
posted by konolia at 8:17 PM on June 7, 2004
posted by konolia at 8:17 PM on June 7, 2004
Moonrise.
Trailer park.
Somebody's barbecuing moose.
A fat kid is bawling.
A car won't start.
Street lamp's busted.
Mosquitoes and moths anyway.
posted by Opus Dark at 8:31 PM on June 7, 2004
Trailer park.
Somebody's barbecuing moose.
A fat kid is bawling.
A car won't start.
Street lamp's busted.
Mosquitoes and moths anyway.
posted by Opus Dark at 8:31 PM on June 7, 2004
Moose is very, very delicious.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:48 PM on June 7, 2004
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:48 PM on June 7, 2004
(Sorry konolia, I was just fooling around on a slow day at work. And I didn't know you actually had daughters. The concept of the "joke" was to say the least appropriate thing possible--while clearly not meaning a word of it--as the thread fizzled and no one was expecting it. It was no more literally directed at you than the man in the moon, so please forgive my low browness.)
posted by dhoyt at 9:11 PM on June 7, 2004
posted by dhoyt at 9:11 PM on June 7, 2004
But if it matters, for roasting baby, it's twenty minutes a pound on low heat.
I just know.
posted by chicobangs at 1:05 AM on June 8, 2004
I just know.
posted by chicobangs at 1:05 AM on June 8, 2004
"Well, he probably shouldn't have shot himself,"
the waitress said with a leer,
"but if he hadn't, this thread and myself
wouldn't even be here.
For all the pro forma civilities
and the screeds on SSRI,
delmoi's delightful abilities,
made me,
my great legs,
and this
hot
peach
pie."
posted by Opus Dark at 10:05 AM on June 8, 2004
the waitress said with a leer,
"but if he hadn't, this thread and myself
wouldn't even be here.
For all the pro forma civilities
and the screeds on SSRI,
delmoi's delightful abilities,
made me,
my great legs,
and this
hot
peach
pie."
posted by Opus Dark at 10:05 AM on June 8, 2004
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posted by grateful at 7:28 PM on June 6, 2004