Someone links me in their profile as an "acquaintance"

February 18, 2005 10:05 AM

Really basic question, bear with me, I'm a relatively new user. Someone links me in their profile as an "acquaintance" and I have never met or heard of this individual before in my life. Can I get this erroneous association removed somehow?
posted by grapefruitmoon to MetaFilter-Related at 10:05 AM (52 comments total)

These are people who goof around with the contacts. I don't think there is a way to remove the link, but that's a good idea.
posted by xmutex at 10:08 AM on February 18, 2005

It looks like their email address is in their profile. Why don't you just send them a friendly message along the lines of "Excuse me, but have we met...?"
posted by mds35 at 10:08 AM on February 18, 2005

I've accidentally checked 'acquaintance' before—instead of 'muse'—when linking someone whose writing I admired. Maybe it was just a sign of flattery.
posted by dhoyt at 10:10 AM on February 18, 2005

It looks like their email address is in their profile. Why don't you just send them a friendly message along the lines of "Excuse me, but have we met...?"

Exactly what I was going to say. Worked for me once.
(plus, he writes Sci-Fi novels! How cool is that?)
posted by Quartermass at 10:11 AM on February 18, 2005

dhoyt : And in my case, when I was first filling out the profile, my spouse became "met friend co-habitate spouse" or some nonsense. I didn't get that it wasn't check all that apply. Oooops. It looks silly, but at least he made the same mistake.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:13 AM on February 18, 2005

Congratulations! You now have an official MeFi stalker. If you collect five more, you win a toaster!
posted by loquacious at 10:13 AM on February 18, 2005

grapefruitmoon: MeFi has a system that allows users to track the posts of other users. Apparently you posted or commented something that someone else enjoyed enough that he or she wants to know about anything else you post.

'acquaintance' appears to be the lowest level of familiarity available when establishing a contact.
posted by mischief at 10:13 AM on February 18, 2005

Can I get this erroneous association removed somehow?

No. Why do you care?
posted by grouse at 10:13 AM on February 18, 2005

Be nice to him and maybe he'll write you into one of his books.

Sometimes people check as many things as they want for the hell of it.

Keep talking grapefruitmoon, and I just might get a crush on you.
posted by Arch Stanton at 10:15 AM on February 18, 2005

Yeah. What harm does it do to you? I'm imagining you wearing a monocle and spats right now.
posted by Hildago at 10:16 AM on February 18, 2005

I listed another user as "spouse" for awhile after I had a bit of a blow up with them (which was the only interaction I've had with said user before or since). After a few days I decided that it was silly and removed the association.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:19 AM on February 18, 2005

Sorry if this was on the level of ridiculous. As I said, I'm a relatively new user.

I've been involved in other internet communities for quite some time and I recalled that basic rules of ettiquette involved notifying people that you "wanted to subscribe to [their] newsletter" before adding them to your contact list.

I was not aware that this was not the way of the Filter. I suppose I shall just have to down some Maalox and get used to the fact that complete strangers can link to me with abandon. What fun!

(I'm trying to take the piss out of myself here a bit, I don't want to saddle you fine people with that burden ;) )
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:21 AM on February 18, 2005

Pennies to pancakes you're going to have a whole lot of new "acquaintances" after this thread.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:27 AM on February 18, 2005

Wolfdog : I already have a new spouse! I'm one lucky girl!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:29 AM on February 18, 2005

BTW, I'm still waiting for an "adversary" or "mortal enemy" option.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:35 AM on February 18, 2005 [2 favorites]

It's just a little feature, don't think too much of it, grapefruitmoon. It's mostly a way to keep track of the people on the board of whose comments you enjoy, or people that you've met. Nothing much more than that. Perhaps the contact thing being informal is a reflection of the openness of the community, as long as you don't express republican views.

I doubt many here follow the comments of others through the contact page.
posted by Arch Stanton at 10:35 AM on February 18, 2005

Grapefruitmoon: To be serious for a moment.

The way I look at the contacts and the way I presume most others here look at the contacts is that you don't judge or seriously value - on whatever level - a person or their profile by who links to them as much as who they link to, as they can only control the latter.

Erm, or vice versa, depending on the values being sought. There's a sort of orthogonality to it.
posted by loquacious at 10:42 AM on February 18, 2005

As another new user, the linking feature does seem pretty opaque and I never found any explanation of it here or on the wiki. Maybe one of the monocled oldtimers would like to update the wiki?
posted by Rumple at 10:54 AM on February 18, 2005

Contact linking always seemed to me to be a well-intentioned, half-baked idea that never really fit well into the way the site actually gets used. I think Matt quickly turned his focus to other functionality, since turning it into a proper "handshake" connection requires a decent amount of transaction-level work.
posted by mkultra at 10:56 AM on February 18, 2005

did he ever get the "links to", "linked by" and website urls to sort in the same order? any order at all?
posted by quonsar at 11:00 AM on February 18, 2005

grapefruitmoon, was the member's name onestarshining?

just had to ask.
posted by papercake at 11:26 AM on February 18, 2005

I tried to marry more than one person - because, hey, I am just that kinda gal - but alas, my contact page would only let me marry riffola. Not that I am not fond of riffola, but that puts a damper on alternative lifestyles here on the filter.
posted by madamjujujive at 11:27 AM on February 18, 2005

I thought you were going to marry me!
*pouts at madamjujujive*

hi grapefruitmoon!

10 MetaFilter user(s) link to grapefruitmoon:
Kattullus (friend met co-resident spouse)
librarina
schambers (acquaintance)
pracowity
trharlan (spouse)
Mayor Curley (friend met co-worker colleague neighbor parent muse crush date sweetheart)
jonmc (child crush)
Mean Mr. Bucket (sweetheart)
chaz
matteo (friend met co-worker co-resident spouse muse crush)

posted by matteo at 11:39 AM on February 18, 2005

So how come grapefruitmoon gets to have three spouses and poor madamjujujive only gets one?

I know, I know, links to versus links from, I still think it's funny.
posted by languagehat at 11:43 AM on February 18, 2005

papercake : Nope, couldn't say as it was. Although by now... who knows? After this post, I have a new spouse, a new parent, a new neighbor, and a new child crush!

madamjujujive : Oddly enough, you can be marked as a "spouse" by more than one person. So... I suppose alternative lifestyles are fine as long as you're being married and not doing of the marrying. Also, "spouse" is fairly permissive of any gender, which is a nice touch. I do appreciate the way that MetaFilter doesn't limit gender to the M/F binary.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:46 AM on February 18, 2005

Wow. Three spouses! The fun never stops!

I do appreciate the great fun being poked at me here, but I do think that chaz wussed out a bit. Didn't even mark me as a "muse!"
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:48 AM on February 18, 2005

I've yet to see how this option is of any use beyond teh_shiny. Frankly, I hate everyone to save time. Then when I like you, it's a surprise to us both. I want a 'meh, he's not worth stabbing today' option. Or maybe one that labels people 'nothing special.'
posted by FunkyHelix at 12:13 PM on February 18, 2005

suppose I shall just have to down some Maalox and get used to the fact that complete strangers can link to me with abandon.

First day on the web?
posted by Armitage Shanks at 12:32 PM on February 18, 2005 [1 favorite]

Armitage Shanks : Noooo. Just poking fun at myself. I've been online since 1996! Nine years of not quite getting the hang of it! It's like Arthur Dent and Tuesdays.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:35 PM on February 18, 2005

Alright, my wife gets forcefully married to two others while I go out for beer, coffee and burrito with a friend after work.

Gentlemen, I'll meet you in the forest clearing behind the church at noon.

Bring your seconds, I'll provide the dueling pistols.
posted by Kattullus at 12:44 PM on February 18, 2005

It's like Arthur Dent and Tuesdays.

Thursdays.

(Internet pedantry. There's nothing else like it.)
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:11 PM on February 18, 2005

Thursdays.

*spews coffee through nose.

Thanks alot...
posted by Quartermass at 1:16 PM on February 18, 2005

PinkStainlessTail : Thursdays. Right. Tuesdays sounded wrong... and lo and behold, it was.

My point about "Not quite getting the hang of it" has been made yet again.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:51 PM on February 18, 2005

Perhaps your new husbands will set you on the right path.
posted by graventy at 2:34 PM on February 18, 2005

Muse? Acquaintance? Linking to strangers with abandon? I hereby introduce to the world a new term: MetaFlirter.
posted by ParisParamus at 3:16 PM on February 18, 2005

I've yet to see how this option is of any use beyond teh_shiny. Frankly, I hate everyone to save time. Then when I like you, it's a surprise to us both. I want a 'meh, he's not worth stabbing today' option. Or maybe one that labels people 'nothing special.'

Funkyhelix, if you hate indiscriminately, and liking someone is the rare exception, why would you need a 'worthless/boring' option if it's already your default?
posted by obloquy at 3:21 PM on February 18, 2005

"MetaFlirter" is funny
posted by matteo at 3:30 PM on February 18, 2005

Someone links me in their profile as an "acquaintance" and I have never met or heard of this individual before in my life.

I had this "problem" too, and retaliated by to linking her in every way I could (much as Mayor Curley done with grapefruitmoon). Then I met her at a meetup and she turned out to be hot.

So MetaStalkers are a-okay in my book.

(Don't bother checking my profile, since I've removed the extraneous links.)
posted by DaShiv at 5:18 PM on February 18, 2005

Yeah, but in your photos, everyone looks hot.
posted by graventy at 5:25 PM on February 18, 2005

You remove the association; just look at the persons' profile and you will find the option "Remove UserX as a contact." And it's done. You can also link to someone without specifying your relationship at all. It's not mandatory.

That said, I think an option for "exes" would be a good idea. An ex of mine is a new member here and has linked to me by just noting "met". It's a bit odd, though technically true.

I like "Metafliter" as well. Wasn't somebody at some point talking about a Metafilter dating service pony?
posted by jokeefe at 5:31 PM on February 18, 2005

Whoops. Metaflirter, not "Metafliter'.
posted by jokeefe at 5:32 PM on February 18, 2005

Also, you CAN remove the association. Sigh.
posted by jokeefe at 5:35 PM on February 18, 2005

Well now I have to link to you too.

Metafliter Uh huh. Who are you flirting with paris?
posted by Juicylicious at 7:19 PM on February 18, 2005

I'd like to have a metastalker. Is this where I submit my request?
posted by Clay201 at 7:31 PM on February 18, 2005

MetaFlirter is fabulous.

now if only more people would flirt with me....
posted by exlotuseater at 7:40 PM on February 18, 2005

Sometimes, it just sucks. I got into a disgreement here with a certain Orange Timepiece and they added me as a sweetheart. I didn't want to be associated with their comments, so I emailed them and asked the relationship to be removed. Thankfully, they complied.

And jokeefe- from what I could see, you can remove those you add, but not those who added you.
posted by amandaudoff at 7:42 PM on February 18, 2005

Yeah, how about a "watches undress" option?

Nahh. Too stalker-y.
posted by graventy at 7:45 PM on February 18, 2005

There's something wonderfully creepy about being able to select 'child' and 'sweetheart' simultaneously. Should (allegedly) Michael Jackson (allegedly) start using Metafilter (allegedly), he'll find he (allegedly) has all the features he needs (allegedly) right off the bat (allegedly)!
posted by Ryvar at 7:48 PM on February 18, 2005

amandaudoff-- point taken, yes.
posted by jokeefe at 7:56 PM on February 18, 2005

Grapefruitmoon, just do what I do when you want people to remove themselves as contacts: Say something really stupid in a moment of heated anger. Works like gangbusters.
posted by AlexReynolds at 8:35 PM on February 18, 2005

I'm still waiting for an "adversary" or "mortal enemy" option

Me too... me too...
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:05 AM on February 19, 2005

I tried to marry more than one person - because, hey, I am just that kinda gal - but alas, my contact page would only let me marry riffola. Not that I am not fond of riffola, but that puts a damper on alternative lifestyles here on the filter.
posted by madamjujujive at 11:27 AM PST on February 18 [!]

*swoons*
posted by riffola at 4:06 PM on February 20, 2005