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This is the apology thread October 11, 2005 9:09 PM   Subscribe

This is the apology thread, make of it what you will.
posted by LarryC to Etiquette/Policy at 9:09 PM (244 comments total)

I apologize to Davy and to Alex Reynolds/Rothko for baiting them. I also apologize to Russilwvong, Smedleyman, Augustweed, Spock, Monju_bosatsu, and Odinsdream for snarky comments within their threads.

This is the apology thread, make of it what you will.
posted by LarryC at 9:10 PM on October 11, 2005


I apologize for reading such baiting, and enjoying a hearty laugh all the while.
posted by evilcolonel at 9:11 PM on October 11, 2005


It's not Yom Kippur yet.
posted by kenko at 9:12 PM on October 11, 2005


I apologize for thinking this is a stupid motherfucking thread , and I'm sorry it hasn't been deleted yet.

This is the apology thread, make of it what you will.
posted by item at 9:12 PM on October 11, 2005


I also apologize for that extra space before my comma above, and for stealing money from my mom's wallet when I was a teenager.

This is the apology thread, make of it what you will.
posted by item at 9:14 PM on October 11, 2005


Sorry. I didn't know she was your wife.
posted by klangklangston at 9:15 PM on October 11, 2005


I suspected this might go badly...
posted by LarryC at 9:16 PM on October 11, 2005


What, are you in a 12-step program for web discussion-board addicts?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:16 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm terribly sorry, I just farted.

Well, at least I opened a window.
posted by clevershark at 9:17 PM on October 11, 2005


Not wide enough. pee-YEW!
posted by item at 9:18 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry. You know who you are.
posted by scarabic at 9:18 PM on October 11, 2005


Me? What?
posted by odinsdream at 9:20 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm not sorry. You know who you are.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:22 PM on October 11, 2005


Yes, now that you metion it. I'm sorry you thought I meant you.
posted by scarabic at 9:22 PM on October 11, 2005


No, now that you don't metion it, I'm not sorry you thought I didn't meant you.
posted by item at 9:23 PM on October 11, 2005



posted by Stauf at 9:25 PM on October 11, 2005


It's probably not true, however, that I'd be sorry if I didn't know who you are.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:26 PM on October 11, 2005


No, now that you don't metion it, I'm not sorry you thought I didn't meant you.

I'm sorry, can you repeat that?
posted by cyrusdogstar at 9:27 PM on October 11, 2005


Alternately: this is a sorry excuse for a thread.
posted by cyrusdogstar at 9:28 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry for not calling Ethereal Bligh "a little bit nutty, and a little bit slutty." Won't happen again.

This is the apology thread, Lokken it what you will.
posted by soyjoy at 9:30 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry for all that cancer.

I want quonsar to come back FOR THIS ONE THREAD, and apologize to son_of_minya, now that he's not here to read it. I, for one, would laugh.

scratch that.

I want quonsar to come back.
posted by shmegegge at 9:32 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sincerely sorry for wanting son_of_minya to come back.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:33 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry Kettle is an ass.
posted by Pot at 9:46 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry I don't have a Pot to piss in.

Make in it what you will.
posted by Kettle at 9:47 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry for thinking that the Pot/Kettle joke is funny.

I'm sorry for thinking that timeistight is behind them.
posted by Kwantsar at 9:53 PM on October 11, 2005


Sorry ma, forgot to take out the trash.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 10:00 PM on October 11, 2005


Alright LarryC, I won't piss on your apology thread: I accept your apology and I apologize for being a dick to you back.

Maybe in the long run this thread is as meaningful as a burp from a baby, but still my mama did try to raise me right too.

The rest of you rude kiddies can go stuff youselves. Even a passing impulse of honor is better than what you scoffers can manage.
posted by davy at 10:11 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry for Ethereal Bligh wanting son_of_minya back.

This is the apology thread, make of it what you will.
posted by Ryvar at 10:12 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry.
posted by MyNameIsEarl at 10:17 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry you need a television to know about this.
posted by MyNameIsEarl at 10:18 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry no one will get that Mats joke but me and, im sorry but i forgot the other dudes s/n
posted by tsarfan at 10:19 PM on October 11, 2005


Sorry Everybody.
posted by klangklangston at 10:24 PM on October 11, 2005



(Sorry, Tsarfan, I got it too...)
posted by klangklangston at 10:26 PM on October 11, 2005


Why is everyone shitting on this thread?
I think this thread is a good idea and about as genuine a gesture as can be made in this sort of context.

I'm sure you've all got better things to do than chiming in with snark and vomiting on someone's efforts to make peace and be a decent person.
posted by Jon-o at 10:46 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry the Replacements are waaaaay overrated.

Also, I'm sorry, but 'Mats' is the lamest knickname for them.

This is fun.</small
posted by item at 10:47 PM on October 11, 2005


,
posted by mischief at 10:48 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry for wishing most of the 20K crowd would shut up and lurk more.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:54 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry I brought Charles Shaw to your sister's bris.
posted by squirrel at 11:02 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry your sister had a bris.

Jon-o: Is Metatalk the best place to indulge in vaunted attempts at "being a better person" through linkless posts? Might a personal, emailed apology be better?

Item: I'm sorry, but "Alex Chilton" is one of the best three minutes in all of pop music.
posted by klangklangston at 11:05 PM on October 11, 2005


Metafilter, I am sorry I didn't love you more. It's not you, it's me.
posted by Quartermass at 11:08 PM on October 11, 2005


Might a personal, emailed apology be better?
Because everyone posts their email in their profile.
posted by Jon-o at 11:12 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sorry Matt re-opened registration.
posted by keswick at 11:14 PM on October 11, 2005


Maybe those people just don't deserve apologies then.
I mean, what, you want some Moonie-style mass apology thread? Then go for it. Apologize your heart out. But I'm sorry if it just seems like pissin' in the wind.
posted by klangklangston at 11:21 PM on October 11, 2005


I'm sure you've all got better things to do than chiming in with snark and vomiting on someone's efforts to make peace and be a decent person.

I'm almost positive you've got better things to do than failing to realize that 90% of the comments in this thread aren't directed negatively at anyone. Just because your blanket is wet doesn't mean you have to shake it on the rest of us.

that being said:

I'm sorry for wishing most of the 20K crowd would shut up and lurk more.

I'm sorry for believing in my heart of hearts that most of the worst members of this site have user numbers under 20k. I'm also sorry for believing that the best members are above 14k.
posted by shmegegge at 11:26 PM on October 11, 2005


Forget it.
I don't want to be "that guy" so I'm just going get off my fucking high-horse and give it a rest.

Sorry.
posted by Jon-o at 11:36 PM on October 11, 2005


LarryC, I waded through the first page or so of your post history, and none of the threads reminded me of anything particular. What exactly are you apologising to me for?
posted by odinsdream at 11:47 PM on October 11, 2005


J, I'm really sorry I spray-painted how you give really bad head across the breezeway before the front doors of the high school.

Ah, hell. Who am I kidding? I'm not even the tiniest bit sorry.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:13 AM on October 12, 2005


But the whole "serial homicide" thing—that I'm sorry for.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:31 AM on October 12, 2005


everybody in this thread is a fucking dick

sorry, i don't really mean that
posted by Hat Maui at 1:00 AM on October 12, 2005


Im sorry i went postal in the new orleans and hiroshige threads, apologies to all concerned.
posted by sgt.serenity at 1:04 AM on October 12, 2005


im sorry item, youre clearly far too young to appreciate true rock music

and the Mats was the only nickname for them
posted by tsarfan at 1:22 AM on October 12, 2005


sleekah, sleekah: i'm sorry for spitefully disregarding your love, your care, and your cock.

harbeh me'od ani ohev otkha...gemar chatimah tovah...
posted by naxosaxur at 1:33 AM on October 12, 2005


Jon-o,

I'm sorry for being a one man pile-on. There were nicer ways to say that, and I was most likely still feeling a touched nerve from something unrelated.

I love you, bro.
posted by shmegegge at 1:45 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry LarryC didn't link to any of his baiting and snarking so I could go and be puzzled by the gaps left after the deletion of his baiting and snarking.

(My favourite apology: 'Sorry I painted the word TWAT on your garage door')
posted by jack_mo at 3:05 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry but only if you're sorry.
posted by holloway at 3:08 AM on October 12, 2005


I considered a MeTa thread like this a coule of months ago - glad I didn't do it now.

Nevertheless, I'd like to apolgise to taz and Goofyy for not replying to helpful emails from them over my time on Mefi. Thanks to both, and do please forgive my ignorance.
posted by biffa at 3:12 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry, so sorry
That I was such a fool
I didn't know
Love could be so cruel
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh-oh
Oh, yes

You tell me mistakes
Are part of being young
But that don't right
The wrong that's been done

[Spoken:]
(I'm sorry) I'm sorry
(So sorry) So sorry
Please accept my apology
But love is blind
And I was to blind to see
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh-oh
Oh, yes

You tell me mistakes
Are part of being young
But that don't right
The wrong that's been done
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh-oh
Oh, yes

I'm sorry, so sorry
Please accept my apology
But love was blind
And I was too blind to see
(Sorry)

posted by konolia at 3:51 AM on October 12, 2005


I keep expecting to see a mutant bunny zombie in the top left corner of the page. Sorry.
posted by peacay at 3:57 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for those I've offended and those I've ignored. I'm sorry for the times I've let me immature enthusiasm outstrip my mature commitment. I'm sorry I cannot believe. I'm sorry that I'm the stranger that sojourneth among them.
posted by OmieWise at 4:43 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm not sorry, it's human nature. Express yourself, don't repress yourself.

*whips chihuahua*
posted by funambulist at 5:08 AM on October 12, 2005


Will the real Sorry please stand up?
posted by grateful at 6:28 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson.

- For Real
posted by tpl1212 at 6:31 AM on October 12, 2005


Sorry we broke up, sorry I missed you
Sorry I wanted only to kiss you
Sorry I promised to love you forever
Made you feel guilty oh when you left me
Sorry I showed up at your party
Sorry I drank up all the Bacardi
Sorry I puked up on your bedspread
Sorry I wanted to be your boyfriend again
Sorry I saw you and I heard birds sing
Sorry I touched you and I heard bells ring
Sorry I jacked off outside of your window
While you were sleeping, I thought you'd never know
Sorry I showed up at your wedding
Sorry I tried so hard to get in
Sorry I screwed up your picture
Sorry I had sex with your sister
Sorry we broke up, sorry I missed you
Sorry I wanted only to kiss you
Sorry I promised to love you forever
Made you feel guilty oh when you left me
Sorry I showed up at your dinner
Sorry I said those things to your father
Sorry I crashed through your window on acid
Sorry I made a mess
Sorry I bled to death

posted by kirkaracha at 6:31 AM on October 12, 2005


make of it what you will
This? Why I could make a hat, or a brooch, a pterodactyl...
posted by kirkaracha at 6:33 AM on October 12, 2005


APOLOGIZE, v.i.
To lay the foundation for a future offence.

-from The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce
posted by mds35 at 6:34 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry I dig lesbians so much.

Ladies, make out if you will.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:18 AM on October 12, 2005


I apologize in advance for anything I might do later.
posted by jonmc at 7:28 AM on October 12, 2005


.
posted by Stynxno at 7:46 AM on October 12, 2005


I am sorry that this thread exists.

This is the apology thread, make of it what you will.

I'm blacklite and I apologize for this comment.

Oh, and I love lesbians too. I'm sorry.
posted by blacklite at 7:48 AM on October 12, 2005


I ain't going to apologize for nothing, and if I was more awake would probably have some additional snotty comment, but I think LarryC is being a real stand-up guy here.

I've yet to ever listen to my conscience and regret it later.
posted by sonofsamiam at 7:52 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm worried about the baggage retrieval system they've got at Heathrow.
posted by louigi at 7:55 AM on October 12, 2005


I apologize in advance for anything I might do later.

I'm already too angry to accept your pre-emptive apology.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 8:21 AM on October 12, 2005




This thread is so not going to end well.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:29 AM on October 12, 2005


Image hosted by Photobucket.com
posted by Otis at 8:30 AM on October 12, 2005


Sorry. Didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.

And, louigi, modern airports do not have baggage retrieval systems, they have malfunctioning baggage losing systems.
posted by nkyad at 8:30 AM on October 12, 2005


Ok, ok, this was not my very best idea. It was inspired by a couple things. A MetaChat thread that asked users to compare their real life with their online personas made me realize I was a dick online a more than I am in person. Davy also pointed this out to me in a MeTa thread. Also, Quonsar defended and kind of apologized to Etheral Bligh on MetaChat. So I figured if he could do that, the least I could do was to apologize to Davy and Alex, and throw in various obscure derails and mocking of which I have been guilty. But I should have just emailed people.

Still, I think many of the comments in this thread are funny as hell.
posted by LarryC at 8:31 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry that I told you,
and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you.

I wish I could try it all again, but the moment's gone. I'm sorry.

[/flash of sincerity in tired eyes]
posted by NinjaPirate at 8:32 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry kirkaracha owes me one Little Caesar's pizza.
posted by boo_radley at 8:32 AM on October 12, 2005


Sorry is a board game, any one wanna play it...
posted by thomcatspike at 8:33 AM on October 12, 2005




Stuff your sorrys in a sack, mister...
posted by fixedgear at 8:39 AM on October 12, 2005


And this is my second-favorite Achewood apology.
posted by soyjoy at 8:40 AM on October 12, 2005


Also, Quonsar defended and kind of apologized to Etheral Bligh on MetaChat.

?!? Do you have a link for that?

Oh, and I've always felt sort of bad for calling Steve@ a butthead in jest without really making it clear that I was joking.
posted by COBRA! at 8:42 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry.
On preview: wow, great minds think alike.
posted by Ryvar at 8:44 AM on October 12, 2005


A MetaChat thread
linky?
posted by raedyn at 8:47 AM on October 12, 2005


I regret trifling with married women, I'm thoroughly ashamed at cheating at cards, I deplore my occasional departures from the truth, Forgive me for taking your name in vain, my Saturday drunkenness, my Sunday Sloth. Above all, forgive me for the men I've killed in anger, and those I am about to...
posted by marxchivist at 8:48 AM on October 12, 2005


If you ever want to say "I'm sorry" in Latin, it's "Me paenitet."

Certa nocte maritus juxta uxorem iacet sed dormitare non potest. Suaviter bracchium uxoris permulcet sed illa ad eum se vertens ait: multo me paenitet, mel mea, sed cras ad gynecologum ire debeo, ideoque volo me mundam servare. Maritus denuo dormire conatur sed frustra, et paulo post humerum uxoris leviter pulsat et eam rogat: Mel mea, num cras ad dentistam quoque ire debes?
posted by languagehat at 8:48 AM on October 12, 2005


You always have to bring down the tone, don't you languagehat?
posted by NinjaPirate at 8:49 AM on October 12, 2005


Sorry about aggroing those mobs
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:49 AM on October 12, 2005


COBRA! and raedyn: here.

LarryC, I'm sorry this didn't turn out as expected, but at least it's fun.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:58 AM on October 12, 2005


Contest by night husband in a like manner wife to lie but to be dreaming not power. Agreeable bracchium wife permulcet but that to he himself is revolving he says : by much me it causes to repent , honey my , but tomorrow to gynecologum to go to owe , for that reason I want me to clean being saved. Husband anew dormire exertion but in vain , and gradually after humerum wife lightly touched and she rogat : Honey my num tomorrow to tooth also to go to vanquish

I forgive you.
posted by peacay at 9:00 AM on October 12, 2005


Fun is good!
posted by LarryC at 9:02 AM on October 12, 2005


Wow. Good for the q.
posted by COBRA! at 9:08 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry that I mentally replace languagehat with laughinghat because I find it more amusing.
posted by Stauf at 9:10 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for not posting more often.
posted by rocketman at 9:15 AM on October 12, 2005


So I figured if he could do that, the least I could do was to apologize to Davy and Alex, and throw in various obscure derails and mocking of which I have been guilty. But I should have just emailed people.

Just emailing people is a matter of private, not public record. This, at least, attempts to open up some common ground. So, thank you, LarryC, for the gesture and your good intentions in making it.
posted by y2karl at 9:28 AM on October 12, 2005


All apologies. What else could I say?
posted by funambulist at 9:29 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry, Otis, but that was fucking hilarious.

Sorry Jon-o, for being a dick in the apology thread.
posted by klangklangston at 9:32 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for smirking. And for that flight suit. And Mission Accomplished. And TurdBlossom. And, um, the whole My Pet Goat thing. And, you know, the rigged elections, the spoiled bitches I sired, my Mom, and those Boating Swiftly guys. Yeah, the fake TerraLerts too. And dead American soldiers, man, do I suck or what? Iraqi slaughter, Gitmo, Patriot Act, the fact that BinLaden got away, Abu Ghraib - all my fault. Casey Sheehan, the Constitution, Social Security, pretending to love Jesus, the Veep's undisclosed location that I don't even know about, and um... "Bring 'em on!". Joe, I'm real sorry about Valerie and all. I feel terrible about Uday and Qusay, oh and my Daddy says "Hey!" to you, Saddam - that was nice statue, I'm sorry our guys tipped it over. I'm real sorry about those Free Speech Zones, the Healthy Forests legislation, the Cleaner Air initiatives, and mercury levels. All those unemployed stem cell researchers, God, what was I thinking. I'm sorry Terry Schiavo died before I could put her on the bench, and I'm sorry you'll have to make do with Harriet. I'm sorry I can't offer you a drink, but I just finished the last half-gallon of vodka.
posted by George W. Bush at 9:34 AM on October 12, 2005 [2 favorites]


I apologize for letting you all live. If I'd have known this is what would happen I never would have dismantled my Death Ray.

or

We're so sorry Uncle Albert
We're so sorry if we caused you any pain
We're so sorry Uncle Albert
But there's no one left at home
And I believe I'm gonna rain

We're so sorry but we haven't heard a thing all day
We're so sorry Uncle Albert
But if anything should happen
We'll be sure to give a ring

(We're so sorry Uncle Albert
But we haven't done a bloody thing all day
We're so sorry Uncle Albert
But the kettle's on the boil
And we're so easily called away)
posted by darukaru at 9:35 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry kirkaracha owes me one Little Caesar's pizza.

Sorry about that, boo_radley. And I'm sorry for thinking you should hold out for something better than Little Caesar's.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:36 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for only ever making one post to the Blue, and a marginal one at that.

I'm sorry that I snark as much as I do.

I'm sorry that I couldn't think of anything particularly funny to apologize for.
posted by cortex at 9:40 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for taking the Dude's name in vain.
posted by the shitty Baldwin at 9:48 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry that sometimes older members don't make newer members feel as welcome as they could... 20ks are people too.
posted by amro at 9:49 AM on October 12, 2005


Regret Nothing!

ok...carry on...
posted by HuronBob at 9:53 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for that crappy callout I did, far too soon after I joined.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
posted by Godbert at 9:56 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry that sometimes older members don't make newer members feel as welcome as they could... 20ks are people too.

I'm sorry I've failed to drive them all off.
posted by Ryvar at 10:01 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm unrepentant, and I fully intend to sin again.
posted by orange swan at 10:11 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry that I crashed your party. I was only having fun and I don't think I was hurting anyone, and we all enjoyed the weekend for a change.
posted by OmieWise at 10:15 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry uppity five-digiters like armo don't SHUT their YAPS.
posted by cortex at 10:20 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry uppity five-digiters like armo don't SHUT their YAPS.
posted by cortex at 10:20 AM PST on October 12 [!]


Still not particularly funny.
posted by amro at 10:23 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm really, really sorry. I apologize unreservedly. I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:24 AM on October 12, 2005


I am sorry that she had to die like that. But I freed her from her chains and released her from this darkness, this place. I will release more of them. I will make their blood flow and as it stains my clothing and pools on the earth it will be a cleansing and they will escape, I will help them! I will help them all escape. Pretty smiling faces... must help them...
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 10:32 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry I tried to be funny even though I'd acknowledged that I didn't have anything very funny to say.
posted by cortex at 10:43 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry I paid 5 bucks for this.
posted by rocket88 at 10:44 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry I'm just a sock puppet created because my master made an ass of himself on mefi and cannot, as of yet, take responsibility for that.
posted by Suck Poppet at 10:51 AM on October 12, 2005


hi im just new to blogging,but i look at a lot of blogs, and your s is defanitely in the top three.

anyway,if you want to get the latest about BIZARRE APOLOGY THREADS take a look at my blog BIZARRE APOLOGY THREADS and let me know what youthink. it really has alll the latest on BIZARRE APOLOGY THREADS
posted by gramschmidt at 10:57 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry you feel that way.

posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:00 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry gramschmidt thought of that first.
posted by cortex at 11:03 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm not sorry. You all had it comin'.
posted by JanetLand at 11:15 AM on October 12, 2005


I’m Sorry
I’m sorry I haven’t posted more actively.
I’m sorry I haven’t taken task with either the rabid right wingers or the american isolationists
I’m sorry I haven’t expressed myself more often on the histrionics of alex reynolds and his sock puppets
I’m sorry that quonsar is no longer here to punture egos.
I’m sorry that …… is a prick.
I’m sorry that what are frequently interesting political posts turn into shitfests.
I’m sorry that some people are too egotistical to realise that their posts on one minute wonders are crap.
I’m sorry I don’t take this website seriously.
posted by adamvasco at 11:15 AM on October 12, 2005


Sorry hellbient.
posted by hellbient at 11:30 AM on October 12, 2005


don't sweat it.
posted by hellbient at 11:30 AM on October 12, 2005


On behalf of Canadians everywhere, I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence, I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally, on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism.

I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Regards,
CANADA


It doesn't get any better than Rick Mercer.
posted by Mitheral at 11:31 AM on October 12, 2005


We're all sorry about the incident that rhymes with Dokken.

I'm also sorry that I remember q once boasting about how he never uses a sock puppet.

I'm sorry that I find the grey a lot more entertaining than the blue, which I understand is not the point at all.
posted by Mid at 11:35 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for saying that that clam tasted like a "gonad dipped in motor oil."
posted by saladin at 11:39 AM on October 12, 2005




I'm sorry I feel that way, too.
posted by OmieWise at 11:54 AM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry I made of this thread what I would.



Really sorry.
posted by pardonyou? at 12:10 PM on October 12, 2005


I'd rather ask for permission than forgiveness. Sorry if that bothers anyone.
posted by FYKshun at 12:21 PM on October 12, 2005


I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.
posted by Joeforking at 12:30 PM on October 12, 2005



posted by funambulist at 12:35 PM on October 12, 2005


Well, ExcUUUse me!
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:40 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry I didn't post that quote before Joeforking did. I googled it, copied it, set it in preview, and thought better of it.

On second thought, I'm not sorry at all.
posted by yhbc at 12:40 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry, what were you saying?
posted by Tuwa at 12:59 PM on October 12, 2005


EVERYONE NEEDS TO APOLOGISE TO ME FOR FORGETTING MY BIRTHDAY.

SO C’MON, LET’S HAVE THAT SNOWBOARD EQUIPMENT.
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:07 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm feeling very sorry in the thirsty dog.
posted by klangklangston at 1:08 PM on October 12, 2005


I am very, very sorry.
posted by homunculus at 1:13 PM on October 12, 2005




Pig, you have two holes on your nose

When you catch cold, you are snorting

Pig, you have black eyes which we cannot see beyond

Pig, you have two big ears

And you cannot hear that I'm cursing you silly

Pig, you have a curling tail which you cannot run without

Pig head, pig brain, pig body and pig tail

You are a good baby who eats everything

Everyday you won't wake up till noon

And you never brush your teeth and you never fight
posted by gramschmidt at 1:32 PM on October 12, 2005


« Older Is doing AskMe follow-up threa... | My second of two comments made... Newer »


This thread is closed to new comments.
























I'm sorry.
posted by eddydamascene at 1:35 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm Sorry this thread isn't closed for real yet.

Metafilter: This is the apology thread, make of it what you will.
posted by Duncan at 1:41 PM on October 12, 2005


kirkaracha: I thought you were referencing this
little caesar's commercial. I'm sorry.
posted by boo_radley at 1:47 PM on October 12, 2005


Sorry I'm late...
posted by Floydd at 1:51 PM on October 12, 2005


Matt, please delete everything after gramschmidt's comment and lock this thread.




Or you'll be sorry, mister.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:54 PM on October 12, 2005


well done, eddydamascene.
posted by raedyn at 2:00 PM on October 12, 2005


I didn't know the gun was loaded

and I'm so sorry my friend

I didn't know the gun was loaded

and I'll never ever do it again

posted by Mr T at 2:06 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for making this apology.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 2:08 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry I forgot the
© 2000-2005 MetaFilter Network LLC
All posts are © their original authors.

posted by eddydamascene at 2:09 PM on October 12, 2005


Sari
posted by grateful at 2:09 PM on October 12, 2005




mostly.
posted by jessamyn at 2:23 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry grateful made the "sari" joke before I could.

Fucker.

Whoops, sorry about that, too.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:28 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for posting a 9 year old article that kind of sucked.
posted by knave at 2:50 PM on October 12, 2005


I use to say I'm sorry.

Now I just plan ahead and initiate the ass fuck conspiracy.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 2:51 PM on October 12, 2005


This is the 156th comment in the apology thread, and is an apology for posting the 156th comment in the apology thread. Make of it what you will.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:52 PM on October 12, 2005


Why do you come here ?
And why do you hang around ?
I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry
posted by The Jesse Helms at 2:54 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry that The Jesse Helms can't spell "used."
posted by cortex at 2:55 PM on October 12, 2005


'Tis better to apologize than to ask permission.

also: not sorry.

Sorry.
posted by exlotuseater at 2:56 PM on October 12, 2005


I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
posted by kindall at 3:04 PM on October 12, 2005


Here's the very sorry song
Won't you help and sing along? [bum bum bum]
I blew it [He's sorry]
I knew it [So sorry]
I'm very very sorry that I took your precious flag
[Just don't do it anymore you scurvy scalawag]

posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:04 PM on October 12, 2005


I was sorry to hear Don Adams had died.

Sorry. Sorry about that. Sorry about that, Chief.
posted by MyNameIsEarl at 3:10 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for failing to come up with a humorous way of drawing attention to the comma splice in LarryC's post.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:17 PM on October 12, 2005


And if you can't say 'sorry', at least say 'bygones'.
posted by MyNameIsEarl at 3:18 PM on October 12, 2005


I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were del.icio.us
so sweet
and so cold

But now I have the runs
Sorry about the chair
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:20 PM on October 12, 2005


What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word


posted by konolia at 3:22 PM on October 12, 2005


Sorry.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 3:28 PM on October 12, 2005


SARS-y!
posted by cortex at 3:31 PM on October 12, 2005


The inflective was lost on me.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 3:31 PM on October 12, 2005


So sorry. Yet, remarkably, I am guiltless. Almost weightless.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 3:33 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry I hate William Carlos Williams. It's nothing personal.
posted by amro at 3:44 PM on October 12, 2005


I thought you were referencing this little caesar's commercial. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for the confusion. I was referencing a comment by this gentleman [MP3] in the motion picture Airplane. Also, I'm sorry my "pop" (short for "popular") culture reference wasn't as widely known as I'd assumed.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:45 PM on October 12, 2005


i'm sorry this thread is still open.
posted by keswick at 4:08 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for whatever it is that is making you not speak to me and give me those angry glares every time I say something. Can we have wild make-up sex now?
posted by dg at 4:43 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry I never gave Sealab 2021 a better look when it was on. Inside, I cry a little with regret.
posted by dflemingdotorg at 4:50 PM on October 12, 2005


Also, nice one, LarryC - you did a good thing.
posted by dg at 4:54 PM on October 12, 2005


I am sorry that I participated in the “Todd Lokken” silliness. Todd Lokken.
posted by ijoshua at 5:04 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry but there's no effing way I'm reading through a 170+ sorry comments.
posted by fenriq at 5:05 PM on October 12, 2005


S... s... s... no, can't do it.
posted by tellurian at 5:13 PM on October 12, 2005


a tisket a tasket
dead baby in a wicker basket
a tisket a tasket
dead baby in a wicker basket
a tisket a tasket
dead baby in a wicker basket
a tisket a tasket
dead baby in a wicker basket
a tisket a tasket
dead baby in a wicker basket
a tisket a tasket
dead baby in a wicker basket
a tisket a tasket
dead baby in a wicker basket
a tisket a tasket
dead baby in a wicker basket
a tisket a tasket
dead baby in a wicker basket
a tisket a tasket
dead baby in a wicker basket
a tisket a tasket
dead baby in a wicker basket
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 5:16 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry, I thought this was the apogee thread. I think it was the rapid descent into choas that fooled me. Thorazine all around!
posted by Dr. Tarr and Professor Feather at 5:29 PM on October 12, 2005


"rapid descent into choas"

sorry for the typos
posted by Dr. Tarr and Professor Feather at 5:30 PM on October 12, 2005


mr_crash_davis - I'm really very sorry you felt the need to claim that you thought of that first. Seems opportunistic.

Sorry for feeling spiteful. Oh wait, no I'm not. I'm not really that grateful, either, so I guess it's OK.

I am actually sorry for that whole Biosphere2 thing. It was really a bad idea.
posted by grateful at 5:33 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry you all think you need to appologise.
posted by Balisong at 6:27 PM on October 12, 2005


Even for double 'p's
posted by Balisong at 6:28 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry I didn't see it was your birthday on Monday, Matt. Hope it was fun.
posted by tsarfan at 6:48 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry you're all such jerks!
posted by Krrrlson at 7:00 PM on October 12, 2005


What kind of ass puts plums in the fridge, anyway? It's not good for them to be "so cold."
posted by scarabic at 7:04 PM on October 12, 2005


scarabic - I understand what you're thinking, but in this case they mean actual plums, not testicles.
posted by soyjoy at 7:16 PM on October 12, 2005


Oh, and: gramschmidt has won this sorry thread.
posted by soyjoy at 7:17 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry for putting your plums in the fridge. (And I congratulate LarryC for his good intentions.)
posted by Carbolic at 7:22 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry you had to sleep on me.
posted by Wet Spot at 7:50 PM on October 12, 2005


Good luck with your nephrolithotomy, Jon.
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 7:52 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry, wrong thread.
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 7:52 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry grateful read that as "I thought of it first" instead of "that was a great joke, one I'd be glad to have made myself."
posted by scarabic at 8:02 PM on October 12, 2005


Actually LarryC, I'm basically okay in person too -- till I get one of my apoplectic rages. I really do foam at the mouth and jump up and down.

And I thought this thread was a good idea till all these morons crapped in it.
posted by davy at 8:18 PM on October 12, 2005


Maybe somebody should start an apoplexy thread.

Oh wait, never mind.
posted by davy at 8:20 PM on October 12, 2005


Davy, this is the apology thread. Not the apoplexy thread. Perhaps you should read the recent dyslexia thread. It's oevr ehre.
posted by scarabic at 8:22 PM on October 12, 2005


Metafilter will eat itself.

And it won't taste very good.
posted by nixerman at 8:23 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry kindall stole my poem.
posted by mrgrimm at 8:43 PM on October 12, 2005


Fuck you all, I regret nothing.
posted by Jimbob at 8:55 PM on October 12, 2005


This is the apology thread?
posted by box at 9:14 PM on October 12, 2005


scarabic, go re-read my comments and discover your own confusion. And thank you for showing me the error of praising you in your MeTa thread on bike repair: the idea that you might be doing something worthwhile caused me cognitive dissonance because you're generally such a stupid dick-like twit -- thank goodness you've fixed that by showing me that you'd only use your bicycle- repair clinic to further perfect your Stupid Dick-like Twit skills.

In case anybody else failed to grasp a simple quip, I know this is (or WAS) the apology thread; I was referring to other threads where a whole lotta apoplexing been goin' on. (Not that I would know anything about any of that, surely.)

History: my comments on "apoplexy" were answering this. Specifically: "A MetaChat thread that asked users to compare their real life with their online personas made me realize I was a dick online a more than I am in person."

(Bonus points for the person who figures out what my comments mentioning "apoplexy" were getting at.)
posted by davy at 9:49 PM on October 12, 2005


What kind of ass puts plums in the fridge, anyway? It's not good for them to be "so cold."

Sorry.
posted by kindall at 11:05 PM on October 12, 2005


Damn, davy... You really need to get a handle on the anger thing; scarabic was only teasing.
posted by taz at 11:29 PM on October 12, 2005


My goodness. What a civl apology thread.
posted by angerbot at 11:38 PM on October 12, 2005


I'm sorry that some people think this should have been a perfectly serious thread that contained a private conversation only held in public.

I'm sorry that most other places on the internet where a thread like this (namely, suspiciously public apologies for something half the involved parties don't even get.) has been posted resulted in comments such as "What, do you want a cookie or something?" and "Fag."

I'm sorry that mefites wanted to turn this thread into a pleasant and amusing diversion, instead.

I'm sorry for thinking that that's an admirable thing to do.
posted by shmegegge at 3:16 AM on October 13, 2005


Who's sorry now?
posted by konolia at 4:23 AM on October 13, 2005


I'm stoked I didn't read posts 15-200 and scrolled all the way to the bottom instead!

Love your work, davy!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 4:38 AM on October 13, 2005


I'm sorry that I watched those Pauly Shore movies.
posted by OmieWise at 6:03 AM on October 13, 2005


Never explain, never apologise.
posted by Decani at 7:16 AM on October 13, 2005


LarryC, I'm not sure why you're apologizing to me, but I'm more than happy to forgive and forget--the latter of which I seem to have already done.

As for apologies, well, I'm sorry I haven't contributed more lately.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 7:24 AM on October 13, 2005


taz, scarabic has a long-standing habit of acting like a Stupid Dick-like Twit; how am I supposed to separate when he's "only teasing" from when he's "just being himself"? And furthermore, why should I?

He went to extra trouble to call me an idiot and I responded appropriately.
posted by davy at 7:25 AM on October 13, 2005


Variations on a Theme by William Carlos Williams
Kenneth Koch

I chopped down the house that you had been saving to live in next summer.
I am sorry, but it was morning, and I had nothing to do
and its wooden beams were so inviting.

We laughed at the hollyhocks together
and then I sprayed them with lye.
Forgive me. I simply do not know what I am doing.

I gave away the money that you had been saving to live on for the next ten years.
The man who asked for it was shabby
and the firm March wind on the porch was so juicy and cold.

Last evening we went dancing and I broke your leg.
Forgive me. I was clumsy and
I wanted you here in the wards, where I am the doctor!
posted by onlyconnect at 7:59 AM on October 13, 2005


wow, i'm sorry i read this entire f-ing thread! really really sorry.
posted by slogger at 8:09 AM on October 13, 2005


onlyconnect, that's fantastic.
posted by amro at 8:46 AM on October 13, 2005


This Is Just To Say - (To JK Rowling)

I have killed
the wizard
who was in
your novels

and whose death
you were probably
saving
for book seven

Forgive me
he had it coming
so beardy
and so old
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:58 AM on October 13, 2005


I'm sorry Matteo learned to throw from Richard Simmons. hehehe. hey, thanks coach, can I take the short-shorts and afro-wig off now? hehehe.
posted by racist dunk-tank clown at 9:10 AM on October 13, 2005


Can we please get racist-dunk-tank-clown.metafilter.com right now, please? Screw projects.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:13 AM on October 13, 2005


I'm sorry I snaped your wife, btw.
posted by cortex at 9:21 AM on October 13, 2005


*snaps fingers*

racist-dunk-tank-clown.metafilter.com
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 11:52 AM on October 13, 2005


Yeah but I meant the fully seprate section of the server only devoted to "nice toss Bluce Lee, maybe you'd get a little closer if we got you some toothpicks for those little eye slits, hehehe, don't kalate me I drive a honda, hehehe." not a soap.steve's.balls.please.nurse.metafilter.com firewall buster.
posted by Divine_Wino at 12:24 PM on October 13, 2005 [1 favorite]


Please, nurse.
posted by cortex at 1:23 PM on October 13, 2005


I'm sorry I posted a joke in Latin back there; it was unforgivably snobbish of me. To make up for it, here's the translation:

One night a husband is lying next to his wife but he can't sleep. Softly he strokes his wife's arm but she turns over and says to him: I'm really sorry, honey, but I have to go to the gynecologist tomorrow, so I want to keep myself clean. The husband tries once more to go to sleep, but he can't, and a little later he lightly touches his wife's shoulder and asks her: Honey, you don't have to go to the dentist tomorrow, do you?

Hey, it's not my joke, I found it on the internet!
posted by languagehat at 1:28 PM on October 13, 2005


I'm sorry in advance for claiming to have made that joke up when I retell it.
posted by cortex at 1:33 PM on October 13, 2005


I'm sorry I don't come here as often as I used to.
posted by me3dia at 2:09 PM on October 13, 2005


Im sorry I made that MeTa post (we dont need a link Jess) I apoligize in advance for the follow up post I will post Monday, featuring a comment from the afore mentioned post thread. If this is bad fourm, Im sorry in advance.
posted by wheelieman at 2:36 PM on October 13, 2005



posted by fandango_matt at 2:48 PM on October 13, 2005


I'm sorry I ate your tacos.
posted by I Love Tacos at 3:34 PM on October 13, 2005


I'm sorry I just lied about being sorry for eating your tacos.

I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
posted by I Love Tacos at 3:35 PM on October 13, 2005


I'm sorry I ate a bee.
posted by cortex at 4:02 PM on October 13, 2005


davy, it has never cost me much trouble to point out your idiocy. And thank you for the glowing praise in that other thread:

"Alright scarabic, so you might be good for something after all."

Ooh! I feel praised.

you'd only use your bicycle- repair clinic to further perfect your Stupid Dick-like Twit skills

Ah the praise pours in. LOL - do you really type stuff like this in righteous anger? OMG I am sorry, so sorry - for you.
posted by scarabic at 7:30 PM on October 13, 2005


I feel sorry for davy too.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:26 PM on October 13, 2005


What a sorry bunch.
posted by aaronetc at 10:00 PM on October 13, 2005


davy is a gangsta!
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 10:42 PM on October 13, 2005


The Sorry Bunch = The Brady Bunch after the cameras stopped rolling and the booze started flowing.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 10:43 PM on October 13, 2005


davy told you he was hardcore!
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:31 AM on October 14, 2005


I'm sorry to bring you all down, but my daughter Kaycee is very ill and we could use any financial help you can provide.
posted by cortex at 7:34 AM on October 14, 2005



posted by wakko at 7:43 AM on October 14, 2005


We all love being sorry, but davy and scarabic have the sorriest love of all.
posted by soyjoy at 8:03 PM on October 14, 2005


It dare not speak its name.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 8:22 PM on October 14, 2005


If this is love, I am so, so sorry to all the people I've hated.
posted by scarabic at 10:20 PM on October 14, 2005


I'm going to cut off my right hand if you can prove quonsar isn't lying.
posted by shmegegge at 3:59 AM on October 19, 2005


quonsar isn't talking
therefore, quonsar can't be lying
you've got to hand it to me
literally
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:11 AM on October 19, 2005


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