User complaining about comment deletion

November 29, 2005 10:17 AM

My answer was deleted for no reason. In response to http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/28078, I replied:

Have you considered arranging a brisk rogering for her?
Seriously.
posted by jon_kill at 9:48 AM PST on November 29 [!]


Missmobtown then flagged it, and it has been deleted. I have a few questions, obviously. 1) How did you flag it, Missmobtown? What was so offensive about the suggestion that sex might be good for her? 2) Why did you erase it, mods? It's a perfectly reasonable answer.
posted by jon_kill to Etiquette/Policy at 10:17 AM (105 comments total)

And now it's back.

So, what gives?
posted by jon_kill at 10:18 AM on November 29, 2005

What gives is that you just freaked out in MetaTalk for no reason.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:21 AM on November 29, 2005 [1 favorite]

You're a dick, for starters. Maybe a brisk rogering would cure that.
posted by Plutor at 10:21 AM on November 29, 2005

Yeah, I don't think it's for no reason. If good answers are being deleted because they veer close to some inappropriate social taboo, then that's too bad.
posted by jon_kill at 10:23 AM on November 29, 2005

Jesus is messing with your head.
posted by Krrrlson at 10:23 AM on November 29, 2005

This will end well, I'm sure.
posted by dersins at 10:23 AM on November 29, 2005

Note that slater has an email in their profile. You could well have handled this via that channel.

For slater's part, telling someone that you're flagging their comment is maybe missing the goddam point a little.
posted by cortex at 10:24 AM on November 29, 2005

I deleted it because on first read it sounded like an asshole thing to say. "what? a woman is depressed? well, somebody just needs to fuck her!" is pretty close to what you wrote and sounds like terrible advice. I only put it back because someone agreed with you, but said it in a much nicer way.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 10:24 AM on November 29, 2005 [1 favorite]

Why do I get so much hostility from sysadmins? Weird.
posted by jon_kill at 10:25 AM on November 29, 2005

jon_kill: "Yeah, I don't think it's for no reason. If good answers are being deleted because they veer close to some inappropriate social taboo, then that's too bad."

But no answer was deleted, good or not.
posted by Plutor at 10:25 AM on November 29, 2005

And jon_kill, languagehat offered about the best possible defense of your comment in the thread itself. Cling to that whilst others point out that your answer couldn't have been much more flippant in its presentation. That's gonna rub some people the wrong way.
posted by cortex at 10:25 AM on November 29, 2005

Oh come off it, jon_kill. If you wanted your answer to be taken seriously, you could have written it out in a more serious fashion. Get off the high horse, please.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:25 AM on November 29, 2005 [1 favorite]

On post-view, I guess it was deleted, briefly.
posted by Plutor at 10:26 AM on November 29, 2005

Hey, yeah I got your email, Matt.

Your interpretation of what I wrote is a little off. It was more like, "What? A person is depressed? Depressed people usually react well to human contact!"
posted by jon_kill at 10:26 AM on November 29, 2005

brisk rogering = human contact?

Please don't invite me to your family's xmas dinner then.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 10:28 AM on November 29, 2005 [2 favorites]

But, see, you could have explained that, jon_kill. Flippant remarks are easily misinterpreted.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:28 AM on November 29, 2005 [1 favorite]

Interesting you should say that PinkSuperhero. (Note: I'm ready to keep this civil, it could be a good conversation).

Flippant? Yes, maybe a little. Not written seriously? Well, okay. But, sex should be a very obvious answer to problems like this. My answer was to the point and honest.
posted by jon_kill at 10:29 AM on November 29, 2005

Your interpretation of what I wrote is a little off. It was more like, "What? A person is depressed? Depressed people usually react well to human contact!"

Umm, no, it was more like "Have you considered arranging a brisk rogering for her?"

Just, y'know, fyi.
posted by dersins at 10:29 AM on November 29, 2005

No, brisk rogering is a subset of human contact.
posted by jon_kill at 10:29 AM on November 29, 2005

It's a "perfectly reasonable answer" only if you offer a perfectly reasonable explanation of said answer.

Your snarky, one-liner response trivializes an otherwise very serious topic. At least that's how it immediately came off to me (being someone who is depressed myself). No different, in fact, to typical insensitive jackasses who try to "help" a depressed person by telling them to "get out of the house and meet people"

chudmonkey's response is a good example of how you should have voiced your "perfectly reasonable answer", as it was very insightful. You, on the other hand, just came off sounding like an unhelpful "dick"
posted by melorama at 10:30 AM on November 29, 2005

Reading this makes me feel like I'm in bizarro world. It's a good feeling.
posted by Krrrlson at 10:30 AM on November 29, 2005

Zing!
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:30 AM on November 29, 2005

Wow, fast thread, my zing was supposed to follow the Xmas dinner quip. I'll shut up now.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:31 AM on November 29, 2005

Ooh! Mathowie's snark is usually kept to the "reason deleted" fields!
posted by nobody at 10:31 AM on November 29, 2005

It's sad that you pushed some other post off of metatalk's front page to defend your unhelpful throwaway remark.
posted by nomad at 10:38 AM on November 29, 2005

It's sad you think it's an unhelpful throwaway remark.
posted by jon_kill at 10:44 AM on November 29, 2005

It's sad that jon_kill might actually believe that "a brisk rogering" can cure depression.
posted by cmonkey at 10:45 AM on November 29, 2005

It's worked wonders in the past for me cmonkey..
posted by drpynchon at 10:47 AM on November 29, 2005

How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
posted by loquacious at 10:48 AM on November 29, 2005

Are you sure it was brisk, drpynchon?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:49 AM on November 29, 2005

No, brisk rogering is a subset of human contact.

So is fucking off. Would you please demonstrate?
posted by squirrel at 10:51 AM on November 29, 2005

Can a brisk rogering cure the need to post to MetaTalk about one's inane, flippant answer to AskMe?
posted by soyjoy at 10:51 AM on November 29, 2005

It's sad that jon_kill might actually believe that "a brisk rogering" can cure depression.

I didn't say anything about cure. The question referred to the roommate's "responsibilities", or ways she could help. Not cure. Don't be obtuse, it doesn't help your cause.
posted by jon_kill at 10:52 AM on November 29, 2005

jon_kill, you miscalculated. Is that not clear from the overall response here? You seem like you were trying to help, so bully for you, but you seem to have mostly pissed people off.

I think you should seriously consider the possibility that you fucked up, and shape your continued response to the situation based on that notion. Nothing wrong with acknowledging a miscommunication; plenty wrong with being a dick about one.
posted by cortex at 10:52 AM on November 29, 2005

But, sex should be a very obvious answer to problems like this.

jon_kill, you are a complete and utter moron. Sex is not the obvious answer to this. Seriously. The girl won't even come out of her room and bursts into tears when in common areas. What part of the poster's description of this girls condition made you think "hey, now that's a girl who is just waiting for sex? Of all the things this girl needs at this point, a "brisk rogering" isn't one of them. Human contact, yes. Coffee with a friend? sure. A "brisk rodgering?" Not likely.

I think yours was a dickish comment. Not just in message but in intention, as well. It kind of sucks that you can't accept that reality. Noo, you have to backpedal as if your comment was perfectly legitimate. Moron.
posted by necessitas at 10:52 AM on November 29, 2005 [1 favorite]

I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make love three times in succession without drawing out.

In addition, he also can have burned a strong beautiful fire within his abdomen. It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention which has been confined to his stickiness. Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration.

If you don't know concentration which gives you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like a hell.


Oh, the things I would give for a strong beautiful fire within my abdomen...
posted by Krrrlson at 10:53 AM on November 29, 2005

jon_kill, you've shown yourself to be hyperdefensive and and antagonistic. I think you need a brisk rogering. Or you could go brisk roger yourself.
posted by pardonyou? at 10:53 AM on November 29, 2005

No, brisk rogering is a subset of human contact.

No, it's vulgar slang (or at best, an interjection meaning "message received").
posted by Gator at 10:54 AM on November 29, 2005

I only put it back because someone agreed with you, but said it in a much nicer way.

so, you can be a pig if you're nice about it?
posted by matteo at 10:54 AM on November 29, 2005

Well-meaning comments that could reasonably be interpreted as snarky and unhelpful need to be couched in more pleasant language. Compare your comment, jon_kill, to chudmonkey's. You were being a dick, you know it, give up.

The insinuation that a one-time fling can cure a serious illness may be offensive to some (certainly it is to me.) But it certainly belongs in the marketplace of ideas, to be supported or debunked by the group of people whose only common qualification to dispense advice is a computer and five dollars.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 10:55 AM on November 29, 2005

If good answers are being deleted because they veer close to some inappropriate social taboo

Dude, don't overstate the helpfulness of your answer, here. I agree that sex tends to make people happier. But you can't possibly pretend that your zingy little one-liner constituted an invaluable insight into how to combat depression in a friend.

If it were up to me, I might not delete it. But neither would I defend it to the death as the most useful comment ever, one which must stand or LO! in its passing mark the DEATH OF METAFILTER.

Get laid indeed.
posted by scarabic at 10:57 AM on November 29, 2005

I buy the Malarkey book, and read it out in the open on the flight from Michigan to Vermont. The man next to me asks about it, and I oblige. Then I count. And grunt. And make horse noises. For the next hour.
posted by Homeskillet Freshy Fresh at 10:57 AM on November 29, 2005

I think you need a brisk rogering. Or you could go brisk roger yourself.

Twice daily.
posted by jon_kill at 10:58 AM on November 29, 2005

Ooh, can we talk about how jon_kill thinks only children are broken and not to be trusted?
posted by amro at 11:04 AM on November 29, 2005

Matteo mentioned that he thinks I'm a pig and my answer was rooted in some macho bullshit. That's his projection, this idea that my advice would only apply to women, and it's patently unfair.
posted by jon_kill at 11:07 AM on November 29, 2005

Ooh, can we talk about how jon_kill thinks only children are broken and not to be trusted?

This thread is about Roger, who is sad, I think, not about how young people are the only broken untrustworthy things.
posted by MarkAnd at 11:07 AM on November 29, 2005

[close]
posted by squirrel at 11:09 AM on November 29, 2005

What this thread needs are some good in-line images.
posted by drpynchon at 11:10 AM on November 29, 2005

Hmmm.

Suggesting (arguably a reasonable suggestion) that someone who is sad might feel better after getting physical gratification is delete worthy upon a single flag.

But someone suggesting that a bare, AIDS-infected penis be rammed into rectum repeatedly as some sort of punishment for my political views is a comment which miraculously escapes the deletion button despite being flagged. After all, maybe the guy just thought I was depressed.

It all makes sense now...
posted by dios at 11:15 AM on November 29, 2005

Oh, hush.
posted by cortex at 11:16 AM on November 29, 2005

cortex!
posted by dios at 11:17 AM on November 29, 2005

no, it escaped deletion because nofundy was nice about it.
posted by matteo at 11:17 AM on November 29, 2005

FYI, I haven't flagged anything. I'm all for letting the threads govern themselves as they will. But this has been most amusing. Now, back to the serious and helpful advice in the original thread.
posted by missmobtown at 11:18 AM on November 29, 2005

It all makes sense now...

Well hello there, sailor!
posted by loquacious at 11:19 AM on November 29, 2005

bare, AIDS-infected penis be rammed into rectum repeatedly

Sullivan tested positive for HIV in 1993, and remains in good health.

Hyperbole goes both ways. Just sayin'.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 11:20 AM on November 29, 2005

Metafilter: someone suggesting that a bare, AIDS-infected penis be rammed into rectum repeatedly as some sort of punishment for my political views.
posted by Krrrlson at 11:22 AM on November 29, 2005

Listen to cortex!
posted by OmieWise at 11:23 AM on November 29, 2005

Also, has no one heard of post-coital depression?
posted by OmieWise at 11:24 AM on November 29, 2005

If jon_kill's response is deemed ok then I'll happily go to town with smart arse responses over there. It was glib, offensive, patronising and most importantly extremely unhelpful. What kind of an answer is that to give?
posted by brautigan at 11:26 AM on November 29, 2005

Give me air, Brautigan.
posted by jon_kill at 11:29 AM on November 29, 2005

I'll give you a slap mate.
posted by brautigan at 11:30 AM on November 29, 2005

Not the first time jon_kill's zingy one-liners have been deleted from AskMe, and probably not the last.
posted by Dean King at 11:31 AM on November 29, 2005

I've always wanted a slap mate. Someone to spend days with, frolicking through park, happily slapping people on their pert bottoms...
posted by jonmc at 11:32 AM on November 29, 2005

the group of people whose only common qualification to dispense advice is a computer and five dollars. - Saucy Intruder

Hell, some of us don't even have that.
posted by raedyn at 11:32 AM on November 29, 2005

It all makes sense now...

Considering that AskMe has higher standards than MeFi or MeTa, it makes perfect sense.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:33 AM on November 29, 2005

Threats of violence? I'm done. You guys win.
posted by jon_kill at 11:33 AM on November 29, 2005

It wasn't a threat. Think of it as advice. Just like suggesting a depressed girl should get fucked to make her feel better, a good slap would sort your arrogance out.
posted by brautigan at 11:36 AM on November 29, 2005

You are in danger. Come with me if you want to live.
posted by Krrrlson at 11:37 AM on November 29, 2005

But threats of violence are just a subset of human contact, dude.
posted by dersins at 11:37 AM on November 29, 2005

DANGER!
Talkin 'bout
DANGER!
posted by selfnoise at 11:38 AM on November 29, 2005

brautigan: Just like suggesting a depressed girl should get fucked to make her feel better, a good slap would sort your arrogance out.

I think I have a new MeFi crush.
posted by scody at 11:39 AM on November 29, 2005

No! Spank me! Spank me first!
posted by loquacious at 11:40 AM on November 29, 2005

I'm going to need everyone to follow this procedure:

1. Watch yourself.
2. Get on the floor.
3. Show me what you're working with.

Thanks.
posted by selfnoise at 11:40 AM on November 29, 2005

Speaking as one who has to deal with cyclic depression I can say that the very LAST thing I want when I am depressed is sex. Perhaps men are different, but as a woman I am extremely typical. And let me clue you in on the fact that for most of us women, the suggestion that we simply need to go get laid is insulting in the extreme. We recognize the statement for what it is-male fantasy.

May or may not have been delete worthy, but not a useful answer either. My 2 cents.
posted by konolia at 11:41 AM on November 29, 2005 [1 favorite]

That was so delete worthy. Taking on a "seriously" at the end doesn't make it a serious response.

Seriously.
posted by chunking express at 11:44 AM on November 29, 2005

Tacking that is. Damn it. Someone needs to flame out and save this Metatalk thread from my spelling mistake.
posted by chunking express at 11:45 AM on November 29, 2005

I totally flagged your misspelling, CE.
posted by cortex at 11:47 AM on November 29, 2005

Someone needs to flame out and save this Metatalk thread from my spelling mistake.

Paging Rothko....
posted by dersins at 11:47 AM on November 29, 2005

konolia: I think it's safe to say you don't represent any sort of general category of anything, let alone women in general.
posted by cellphone at 11:48 AM on November 29, 2005

Wether your comment was apropriate or not, it didn't need it's own metatalk thread, and all that debate in the answer thread.
posted by delmoi at 11:50 AM on November 29, 2005

brisk rogering = human contact?

Please don't invite me to your family's xmas dinner then.
posted by mathowie at 10:28 AM PST on November 29 [!]


got me laughing.
posted by caddis at 11:51 AM on November 29, 2005

jon_kill is clearly a young and frisky scientologist.

You know, the cure for depression is vitamins sex... Such a pity Tom Cruise didn't think of that first, evidently he could have won so many more hearts and minds to the COS cause.
posted by funambulist at 11:55 AM on November 29, 2005

Ok, where's an image maker who's interested in whipping up a "flame bait" tag? Preferrably with seizure-inducing flashes.
posted by mystyk at 11:56 AM on November 29, 2005

I just think everyone's dhoyt these days , do you check the i.p. addresses matt ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 11:58 AM on November 29, 2005

jon_kill: the vagina is a horrifying and terrible place, and is best avoided at all costs.
posted by naxosaxur at 11:58 AM on November 29, 2005

roger briskly is so going to be my next sockpuppet.
posted by quonsar at 11:59 AM on November 29, 2005

I went to the thread in question and read the comment in context.


It should have stayed deleted.

Cellphone, why do you not assume I am a typical woman? I'm married, and I have sex. What's not typical?
posted by konolia at 12:00 PM on November 29, 2005

I actually find chunking express's misspelling very helpful, if somewhat flippantly put. So in case it's deleted after cortex flagged of it, I'd like to have it reinstated, pretty please, because my opinion matters a lot more than that of cortex. Thanks!
posted by funambulist at 12:00 PM on November 29, 2005

I think this is very important. Are offensive and smart arse comments on AskMe allowed to stand as answers? Only by the very broadest stretch of the imagination can jon_kills answer be interpretated as a genuinely helpful response. It was crude beyond belief and if that's the kind of advice this place is happy to condone then it's very sad.
posted by brautigan at 12:01 PM on November 29, 2005

brisk rogering
posted by Saucy Intruder at 12:02 PM on November 29, 2005

Dammit, funambulist, listen to OmieWise!
posted by cortex at 12:03 PM on November 29, 2005

Cellphone, why do you not assume I am a typical woman? I'm married, and I have sex. What's not typical?


I think we both know the answer to this one.
posted by cellphone at 12:05 PM on November 29, 2005

jon_kill, as a wise man once put it, please slowly and gently fuck the fuck off.
posted by jokeefe at 12:06 PM on November 29, 2005

Or something like that. I think you get the general gist.
posted by jokeefe at 12:07 PM on November 29, 2005

Damn, that's Roger Ebert? Where'd the rest of him go? *looks under the couch*
posted by loquacious at 12:09 PM on November 29, 2005

Why do I get so much hostility from sysadmins? Weird.
posted by jon_kill at 10:25 AM PST on November 29 [!]

I certainly haven't seen any hostility from the Admins here, jon-kill. If you're noticing such a pattern in your Net travels, you might consider the possibility that perhaps your behaviour could be the cause.

Such a flippant remark deserves deletion, your disingenuousness about your intentions aside. Such cavilling might work in grade-school, but no one here would take such a remark to be anything other than a crude and immature interjection into a civil conversation.

It seems clear that Matt and Jessaymn are dead serious about defending askme from descending into mediocrity. You're not helping with your carping.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 12:12 PM on November 29, 2005

Ebert is the new Chomsky. Discuss.
posted by bardic at 12:14 PM on November 29, 2005

*pops in Grammar of the Valley of the Dolls*
posted by cortex at 12:16 PM on November 29, 2005

*Cortex discovers he knew the plot from birth.*
posted by Tuwa at 12:26 PM on November 29, 2005

colse dis post thx
posted by moift at 12:27 PM on November 29, 2005

*finds the ability to make and eat popcorn to be innate, switches area of focus to politics and human rights*
posted by OmieWise at 12:27 PM on November 29, 2005

Dammit Tuwa.
posted by OmieWise at 12:29 PM on November 29, 2005

You folks know that "rogering" is British slang for gay anal sex, right?
posted by Rothko at 12:30 PM on November 29, 2005

I thought it had something to do with film, actually.
posted by hototogisu at 12:31 PM on November 29, 2005

why? does he write really really boring film reviews?
posted by andrew cooke at 12:34 PM on November 29, 2005