Why/when was this user banned?
March 2, 2006 4:17 PM Subscribe

Protocols of the Elders of Awesome was banned? When & why did that happen?
posted by jonson to etiquette/policy at 4:17 PM (284 comments total)

Advertise here: Contact FM.

Again? Damn, he's turning into the king of bannination.
posted by dersins at 4:21 PM on March 2, 2006

It looks like the evidence was deleted. I'm all for not banning people, but not hiding their drunken lunacy either.
posted by scarabic at 4:24 PM on March 2, 2006

New thread, huh? Okay.

Pffft. If he's gone, he'll be back. I don't know what you have to do to actually get perma-banned, but fucking with AskMe and hijacking other people's accounts isn't enough, that's fer sure.
posted by Gator at 4:26 PM on March 2, 2006

he's turning into the king of bannination.

pfft. he's pretty generic in that regard, actually.
posted by quonsar at 4:35 PM on March 2, 2006

heh.
posted by matteo at 4:40 PM on March 2, 2006

Yeah, just about everybody gets banned as often as he does.
posted by insomnus at 4:40 PM on March 2, 2006

He and Thirteenkiller began his thread about the Penn & Teller video game with an exchange of silly, inane, inside joke comments. I miss him already.
posted by rob paxon at 4:41 PM on March 2, 2006

On the brightside, now we get to await his new username. With any luck, it might be just as good as Protocols of the Elders of Awesome.
posted by Mijo Bijo at 4:47 PM on March 2, 2006

He'll have a hard time topping It's Raining Florence Henderson.
posted by mischief at 4:52 PM on March 2, 2006

Oops, I forgot it's lame to call out someone. Nevermind.
posted by mischief at 4:53 PM on March 2, 2006

He was suspended for incoherent drunk rambling in his FPP last night, but now that he is sober he's very sorry about the whole business and eager to once again make worthy contributions to this community.

Yeah, true. I had to pull his posting rights because he was too drunk to have enough sense to stop. I've banned him for being an asshole using several accounts, again when using several hacked accounts, and now drunken rambling. For all his wisecracks and rare fine links, he sure posts a lot of noise, so I was letting him stew in the drunk tank for another day.

How many chances are people supposed to get to act like a fucking adult? I'm at the end of my patience with him.
posted by mathowie at 4:58 PM on March 2, 2006

Nobody tops It's Raining Florence Henderson. I'm always the top.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:00 PM on March 2, 2006

How many chances are people supposed to get to act like a fucking adult?

That's a damn good question and I'd like to know the answer.
posted by cribcage at 5:00 PM on March 2, 2006

Let me count the ways...
posted by mischief at 5:04 PM on March 2, 2006

"I'm always the top."

Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:06 PM on March 2, 2006

You spin me right round, baby!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:10 PM on March 2, 2006

How many chances are people supposed to get to act like a fucking adult?

Ouch!
posted by snsranch at 5:17 PM on March 2, 2006

Florence Henderson can top me anytime.
posted by loquacious at 5:20 PM on March 2, 2006

I did not know that POTEOA was PG. I need a goddamn scorecard anymore.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:31 PM on March 2, 2006

Do not drink and MeFi.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:31 PM on March 2, 2006

Do not drink and MeFi.

Then I'm going to need to go back and delete several months of posts.
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:33 PM on March 2, 2006

Do not not drink and MeFi. It's listed in the wiki under "MeFi Commandments", just under "Thou shalt wear no pants"
posted by loquacious at 5:33 PM on March 2, 2006

How many chances are people supposed to get to act like a fucking adult? I'm at the end of my patience with him.

Seconded. You left out the interminable multi-post-spanning MeTa threads that get generated any time he's given a time out, or sometimes even when he's had a comment deleted.
posted by jessamyn at 5:35 PM on March 2, 2006

So I guess this will be weighed against the inevitable "But [So-And-So Who I Coincidentally Happen To Despise] hasn't been banned!" and judged accordingly.
posted by Gator at 5:41 PM on March 2, 2006

Yeah, why is Gator still here, anyway?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:54 PM on March 2, 2006

Damn. I always seem to miss the good threads before they get removed...
posted by mystyk at 5:55 PM on March 2, 2006

How many chances are people supposed to get to act like a fucking adult?

Isn't that the lost verse from Blowin' in the Wind? Anyway, I quite agree with Matt's decision here, he's had quite enough chances.
posted by fvw at 5:56 PM on March 2, 2006

I said it wouldn't be mellifluous, but: FREE PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF AWESOME.
posted by jenovus at 5:58 PM on March 2, 2006

Brown-nose!
posted by mischief at 5:58 PM on March 2, 2006

shit
posted by mischief at 5:58 PM on March 2, 2006

fvw: quite? quite.
posted by jenovus at 6:03 PM on March 2, 2006

Does that dude have some kind of personality disorder?
posted by xmutex at 6:03 PM on March 2, 2006

I demand that he buy us all gifts before he is to return.
posted by TwelveTwo at 6:14 PM on March 2, 2006

loquacious wrote: Do not not drink and MeFi. It's listed in the wiki under "MeFi Commandments", just under "Thou shalt wear no pants"

Where are you supposed to put your fish?
posted by birdsquared at 6:19 PM on March 2, 2006

so I was letting him stew in the drunk tank for another day

Wait, you're only banning him for two days? That's not gonna do much good.
posted by mediareport at 6:34 PM on March 2, 2006

thirteenkiller, if your weren't going to e-mail Matt, why not commit to your own MeTa? It's here now, but I'm not seeing any evidence or resolution. I have to take out the trash, but I'm still curious as to the why and where.

Seconded. You left out the interminable multi-post-spanning MeTa threads that get generated any time he's given a time out, or sometimes even when he's had a comment deleted.

I didn't want to start a new Metatalk thread because I didn't think this is a situation that needs that much public attention. The only reason this is in Meta at all is because Matt didn't respond to Protocols' email (and he still hasn't) so he didn't know the status of his account.
posted by thirteenkiller at 6:41 PM on March 2, 2006

Matt didn't respond to Protocols' email (and he still hasn't)

Immediate service to people who've been repeatedly banned from the site is important why, again? You couldn't wait for even a day before bringing it into an unrelated MeTa thread? Good lord, talk about self-importance.
posted by mediareport at 6:45 PM on March 2, 2006

I hope there is this much commotion after I get banned.
posted by TwelveTwo at 6:50 PM on March 2, 2006

Immediate service to people who've been repeatedly banned from the site is important why, again? You couldn't wait for even a day before bringing it into an unrelated MeTa thread? Good lord, talk about self-importance.

There's no need to be vicious. I sought some information and posted a question to Matt; Matt responded and now I have my answer, which is that he'll be let out of the drunk tank in a few days (I think).
posted by thirteenkiller at 6:57 PM on March 2, 2006

I quite agree with Matt's decision here...

Oh, please. Matt's decision has been to waffle. "How many chances," indeed.
posted by cribcage at 6:59 PM on March 2, 2006

Just go kiss P_G's ass somewhere else. You and the rest of his flatmates.
posted by puke & cry at 7:17 PM on March 2, 2006

Hey, I'm still here.

Hope for anybody.
posted by konolia at 7:19 PM on March 2, 2006

I used to run online communities for a living and these kinds of people eventually drove me kinda crazy. Crazier than they should've, anyway. There's always a small percentage of people who manage to create most of the problems... (Hey! Somebody page Gladwell!)

You can never really ban someone who really, really wants to come back and cause problems. You'll always lose. Sure, you can raise the bar in terms of how hard it is to get back in with a new nickname or whatever, but it's easier just to passively track people while they think they're being clever.

Although I never had a chance to implement it, I believe I've hit apon the ultimate solution: let them post into the void. Any message they write is completely visible to them and appears normal, but no one else can see their scrawls. Maybe even let them create an alternate universe where other similarly banned people can flame away at each other, that sits on top of what us normal, civilized folks see.

That way, they can satisfy whatever childish urges they have without bothering anyone.
posted by ph00dz at 7:23 PM on March 2, 2006

I AM FULL TO BRIMMING WITH AUKS
posted by loquacious at 7:25 PM on March 2, 2006 [1 favorite]

Just go kiss P_G's ass somewhere else. You and the rest of his flatmates.

Are you talking to me? I'm not PG's flatmate.
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:25 PM on March 2, 2006

ph00dz: I'm going to wish you away into the cornfield.
posted by jenovus at 7:26 PM on March 2, 2006

'flatmate' meaning the 2-3 people that stick up for him when he gets banned. again. The last guy was his flatmate.
posted by puke & cry at 7:28 PM on March 2, 2006

'flatmate' meaning the 2-3 people that stick up for him when he gets banned. again. The last guy was his flatmate.

No, it wasn't.
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:31 PM on March 2, 2006

three strikes, you're out.
posted by crunchland at 7:33 PM on March 2, 2006

I'm Florence Henderson's houseboy.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:33 PM on March 2, 2006

I'm PG's flatmate. Go fuck yourself puke & cry.
posted by cillit bang at 7:41 PM on March 2, 2006

...Go fuck yourself puke & cry.
posted by cillit bang at 10:41 PM EST on March 2 [!]

Sounds like a normal Thursday night to me.
posted by ND¢ at 7:45 PM on March 2, 2006 [1 favorite]

How many chances are people supposed to get to act like a fucking adult?

Also: How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?
posted by ori at 7:46 PM on March 2, 2006

You can never really ban someone who really, really wants to come back and cause problems.

You're right, obviously. And the $5 bar makes this a thousand times more pathetic — because a lot of trolls will persistently sign-up new accounts on free websites, but it takes a special kind of loser to pay $5 for the privilege. (The same kind of loser, I suppose, who gets drunk and posts on a friggin' internet message board. What, no parties or girls where you live?)

Having said that: This shmuck wasn't hiding. Everybody knew who he was — and I've seen Jessamyn acknowledge it, which means Matt must have known. If the "ban" carried any weight, he'd have been smacked down again, immediately. We wouldn't have this nonsense about a drunken spree and umpteen chances. He'd just be gone, as many times as it took.

This isn't a ban. This is a vending machine saying, "Another $5, please."
posted by cribcage at 7:48 PM on March 2, 2006

It's missing a comma, ND¢.

Go fuck yourself, If I Had An Anus. That's an order.

1, ori. You called him a "man" at the start of your question.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:49 PM on March 2, 2006

Wouldn't that be "zero," then?
posted by jenovus at 7:52 PM on March 2, 2006

jenovus, whom are you talking to?
posted by klausness at 7:52 PM on March 2, 2006

To whom am I talking?
posted by jenovus at 7:53 PM on March 2, 2006

Oops, I meant in this comment...
posted by klausness at 7:53 PM on March 2, 2006

That would be ph00dz, who appears an entire three posts above my response. I can see how you might have missed it, seeing as I neglected to type the username of the person to whom I was responding.
posted by jenovus at 7:55 PM on March 2, 2006

ph00dz? I don't see any comments by ph00dz here.
posted by klausness at 7:57 PM on March 2, 2006

You are infuriating me. Please remedy that.
posted by jenovus at 7:57 PM on March 2, 2006

This isn't a ban. This is a vending machine saying, "Another $5, please."

No, this is me thinking it over. I'll give him a week and think about it again.
posted by mathowie at 7:57 PM on March 2, 2006

Okay, I am the dumbest person in the world.
posted by jenovus at 7:58 PM on March 2, 2006

TWENTY-FIVE POINTS TO KLAUSNESS FOR BEING OBTUSE IN A MANNER REFERENCING ANOTHER COMMENT
posted by jenovus at 7:59 PM on March 2, 2006

Sorry, jenovus, that seems to be a frequent reaction when I try to be funnny...
...maybe I should stop...
posted by klausness at 7:59 PM on March 2, 2006

Ha ha, no, I'm just embarrassed that it took me that long. And here I thought I had this Interbutt thing figured out.
posted by jenovus at 8:00 PM on March 2, 2006

Although I never had a chance to implement it, I believe I've hit apon the ultimate solution: let them post into the void. Any message they write is completely visible to them and appears normal, but no one else can see their scrawls.

I know for a fact that Matt has already thought of this. He mentioned it during a panel discussion at SXSW a couple years ago about how to deal with problem characters on online communities. It seems like it would be an ideal solution, but once the person realized that they were being systematically ignored, the result would probably be identical to permanent banning ... i.e. $5 more to crap all over the site anew.
posted by crunchland at 8:01 PM on March 2, 2006

Oh, and that was referring to this...
posted by klausness at 8:01 PM on March 2, 2006

He's pretty annoying and mostly unfunny.
posted by cellphone at 8:06 PM on March 2, 2006

No, he's Pretty_Generic. We've been over this.
posted by jenovus at 8:07 PM on March 2, 2006

I'm PG's flatmate. Go fuck yourself puke & cry.

Yeah, that's the guy.
posted by puke & cry at 8:08 PM on March 2, 2006

MetaFilter: I had this Interbutt thing figured out.
posted by loquacious at 8:18 PM on March 2, 2006

How many chances are people supposed to get to act like a fucking adult?

you know, I'd wondered that same thing when I found out that P_G had been allowed back at all.

remember when he embedded crappy midi audio into every thread he commented in for a day or two? That was awesome.
posted by shmegegge at 8:18 PM on March 2, 2006

I fucking hate Protocols of the Elders of Awesome for a truly marvellous reason which this textarea is too narrow to contain.
posted by yeoz at 8:19 PM on March 2, 2006

What everyone who wants P_G/PotEoA permabanned said. In ♠♠♠
posted by Lynsey at 8:22 PM on March 2, 2006

Although I never had a chance to implement it, I believe I've hit apon the ultimate solution: let them post into the void. Any message they write is completely visible to them and appears normal, but no one else can see their scrawls.

As I've mentioned before, this is known as a Hellban at the SA Forums, where dealing with the developmentally challenged is a full time job for the mods. The link, again.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:26 PM on March 2, 2006

SA, as ridiculous as the majority of their forum goons are, has my absolute FAVORITE moderation policies of all time.

allowing people to buy insulting subtitles and pictures for another member's avatar? fucking brilliant.
forbidding that member from correcting their own avatar? also brilliant.
posted by shmegegge at 8:28 PM on March 2, 2006

shshshshsshsh! any minute now that librarian is gonna come in, squinch her face into that tight little rictus and ask rhetorically "are we done in here now?" before she herds us out and locks the door.
posted by quonsar at 8:31 PM on March 2, 2006

If she does we'll present her with A Librarian's Guide to Etiquette.
posted by tellurian at 8:38 PM on March 2, 2006

I agree with q that asking "are we done here" when nobody can fricking answer because you've closed the thread comes off as heavy-handed, even if meant in a smiley emoticon sort of way.
posted by Mid at 8:54 PM on March 2, 2006

There's no need to be vicious.

That was vicious? Wow, self-important and thin-skinned, too.
posted by mediareport at 9:09 PM on March 2, 2006

How many chances are people supposed to get to act like a fucking adult?

I know it was rhetorical, but... why the heck are you asking us?

::Runs, hides, finds someone else in my spot, runs some more, gets winded, goes home, watches Three's Company::
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:16 PM on March 2, 2006

Wait, P_G's mate is flat?
posted by emelenjr at 9:39 PM on March 2, 2006

Man, I didn't know that Pretty Generic was Protocals, and now I'm sending my sock puppets to steal his toothbrush because I was pretty pissed when I had to enter stuff into the capcha box to login in and it didn't work right.
posted by drezdn at 9:40 PM on March 2, 2006

Wow, self-important and thin-skinned, too

So.... you're kind of a prick, huh?
posted by jonson at 9:47 PM on March 2, 2006

Hmm ... at this yet again, I see.

I can't remember what it was that Pretty Generic did that got him banned the last time ( I get these dorks all mixed up) but I do recall being fairly flabbergasted that he was allowed to return. My own feeling is that if the behaviour is so extreme that an outright ban was imposed ( as opposed to a "time-out" ) then allowing the offending poster to return is pretty much self-defeating.

I'm guessing that our two mods can identify members from their IP addies, and so know who applies for admission. Choosing to readmit offenders with a different nick is one possible policy. Surely, some offenders must be redeemable. But only if there is a fresh start. This site isn't the 16,000 member in-group it once was. That particular poster's history here doesn't carry much weight with the other half of this group.

Allowing someone who repeatedly shows contempt for the minimum standards required here to return without any real penalty doesn't set that much of a bar. To be effective as a policy, I wouldn't broadcast it. Losing all cred should be a consequence of being banned. What other currency is on offer here? If the 2 ( pretty easy-going) mods we have here have been driven to the point of frikken banning you, it's time to reassess your behaviour . If they've done it twice, I'd say you're really pushing your luck.

Seriously.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 10:11 PM on March 2, 2006

ARE WE DUMB HERE?
posted by jenovus at 10:27 PM on March 2, 2006

Ok, I'm going to fire off an email to P_G explaining to him that we really don't want him abusing the site for at the very least the fourth bannable time when we bring him back, and now I'm closing the thread. are we cool?
posted by shmegegge at 10:31 PM on March 2, 2006

Now, what is the next order of business?
posted by TwelveTwo at 10:36 PM on March 2, 2006

We all create new sock puppets.
posted by mediareport at 10:40 PM on March 2, 2006

shmegegge is matts sockpuppet. All is revealed.
posted by puke & cry at 10:43 PM on March 2, 2006

I wonder how the cockroaches in his vagina are faring.

Matt, when people are banned, are you banning the username and they can just auto sign up again for another fin or are you banning the IP (not that that's foolproof)? I'm just curious.
posted by dobbs at 10:51 PM on March 2, 2006

Banning an IP isn't foolproof? How about "not that that's even a minor inconvenience?"
posted by Ryvar at 11:27 PM on March 2, 2006

How about "not that that's even a minor inconvenience?"
posted by puke & cry at 11:40 PM on March 2, 2006

This isn't a ban. This is a vending machine saying, "Another $5, please."

No, this is me thinking it over. I'll give him a week and think about it again.

You might be assuming a little too much control, here, Matt. Whether or not this person is accusing you of inviting a new signup, the banned user may indeed just register for one. It's not been demonstrated what you're doing, if anything, to prevent this. Do you use cookies, IPs, logs, etc to do any kind of fraudulent account detection? If you're lax about that stuff, you make it look like you're happy to accept $5 from anyone, and bannination, your graetest weapon, loses its power.

I don't think your response quite answers the real questions. Try again?
posted by scarabic at 11:49 PM on March 2, 2006

if he wants back in here bad enough, he'll find a way ... for all we know, he may be back already

hell, for all you guys know, he could be me ... (he's not, but ...)

proxies, alternate isp accounts, web cafes, wifi connections ...

it's just part of life online ... at least matt makes some money off of it
posted by pyramid termite at 1:07 AM on March 3, 2006

ps matt ... you might as well make the pan permanent and get paid for your trouble when he comes back ... just think of it as an idiot tax
posted by pyramid termite at 1:09 AM on March 3, 2006

This is all about the hubris of his name choice. If he had called himself Rough Guidelines of the Kiddies of Crappy, we wouldn't be having this discussion.
posted by brain_drain at 1:11 AM on March 3, 2006

That either makes no sense, or you've BLOWN MY MIND.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:54 AM on March 3, 2006

Immediate service to people who've been repeatedly banned from the site is important why, again?

People who have been repeatedly banned from the site are some of its best customers.

$5 $5 $5 $5 $5
posted by grouse at 3:00 AM on March 3, 2006

Welcome to the Rich Kyanka School of Gettin' Rich. Mr Haughey's still learnin' the ropes.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:20 AM on March 3, 2006

Kyanka's the Tom Vu of the internet. Haughey's more like sweater-wearin' Mike Levey of "Amazing Discoveries".

except for the dying of cancer in Los Angeles part.

posted by Hat Maui at 3:51 AM on March 3, 2006

pyramid termite: proxies, alternate isp accounts, web cafes, wifi connections

And a credit card number.
posted by ryanrs at 3:57 AM on March 3, 2006

Hey stavrosthewonderchicken, thanks for that link, man... I'd imagine that being a moderator at SA would take a very special kind of person, and it's cool to see how creative they've been with it.
posted by ph00dz at 4:20 AM on March 3, 2006

I like some of the things that are punishable at SA, like Todd Lokkening:

Signing a post (as in appending "--username" to the end of a reply) can result in probation, but such harsh punishment is usually preceded by written warnings from mods and fellow members, as well as ridicule within the thread itself.

posted by grouse at 4:37 AM on March 3, 2006

let them post into the void. Any message they write is completely visible to them and appears normal, but no one else can see their scrawls

That is deliciously brilliant. How well does it work at the forums which use it?
posted by LarryC at 4:49 AM on March 3, 2006

Kyanka's the Tom Vu of the internet.

Well, no, not even remotely close. I don't understand how that makes any sense at all.

Haughey's more like sweater-wearin' Mike Levey of "Amazing Discoveries".

I don't know what that means, but I'm inclined to suspect it's as far off the mark as the Tom Vu comment.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:17 AM on March 3, 2006

Any message they write is completely visible to them and appears normal, but no one else can see their scrawls

Wouldn't that just result in more of the same sort of thing in MetaTalk "Hey PotEoA said he wrote something hilarious but I can't see it. Why did that happen?" The problem doesn't seem to be that PotEoA/PG gets temp-banned, the problem is that any time this sort of thing happens, there is a total disconnect between the level of mess that has to be cleaned up (removing comments/posts, tracking down sock puppet accounts, dealing with tons of MeTa threads, for example) and the "Who Me?" attitude that's always displayed by him and his compatriots. For example

The only reason this is in Meta at all is because Matt didn't respond to Protocols' email

Which must have been sent, what, half a day or a day ago from someone in a totally different timezone? If you or PotEoA/PG are really looking for answers, try harder. Get mathowie on IM, or email or IM me. Starting a new MeTa thread just turns this into a big "Grade my report card!" public lament of the sad state of one user who can't seem to get it together to not abuse the site.

I don't mind terribly if PotEoA/PG comes back too much personally -- my vote would be no if we were voting, but I don't feel that strongly -- but anyone who thinks he hasn't had ample chances here, or gotten ample leeway from mathowie on second, third and fourth chances isn't really paying attention.
posted by jessamyn at 5:18 AM on March 3, 2006

Aye, there's the rub.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:21 AM on March 3, 2006

The fact that we've devoted this much commentary on the sociopath is telling enough.

He's a fixture here at Metafilter, and we keep him around for his hilarious hijinks and inscrutable banter with that adorable thirteenkiller, right? So what if his actions made it so we now have to enter in some hard-to-read code every time we log in? And didn't he do us all a favor? Why, he pointed out serious security vulnerabilities against inelegant, brute-force hack attacks! One can't stay mad at the rascal forever, right?

So Matt, let's just stop this silly charade and let the scamp back in, before he's forced to come up with another festive sockpuppet name. Either that, or let's all chip in and finally get the boy laid, and maybe then he'll work off some of his excess energies in pursuit of more carnal pleasures.
posted by crunchland at 5:26 AM on March 3, 2006

Or let's beat him to death. That'd be good too.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:38 AM on March 3, 2006

He already got laid.
posted by brownpau at 5:44 AM on March 3, 2006

Don't believe everything you read.
posted by crunchland at 5:48 AM on March 3, 2006

If we're going to go around assuming things left and right here, I'm going to assume he used the cash he made from selling a 1st Edition LotR to purchase the prostitute.
posted by sciurus at 5:53 AM on March 3, 2006

I don't mind terribly if PotEoA/PG comes back too much personally -- my vote would be no if we were voting...

If this were a democracy, jessamyn, you probably wouldn't hold your current position, so let's be glad it isn't. FWIW, I would keep both PG and jessamyn if we were voting. PG is MeFi's lovable little scamp, as mathowie said.
posted by grouse at 5:55 AM on March 3, 2006

If you or PotEoA/PG are really looking for answers, try harder. Get mathowie on IM, or email or IM me.

Or try harder by mentioning it in Metatalk?

At any rate, Jessamyn, I didn't start a new MeTa thread. This thread was started not by PG's "compatriots" but rather by uninvolved Metafilter users and populated mainly by gawkers and assholes who have little to offer but unsolicited board management advice or disconcertingly vitriolic personal attacks. Don't blame this on PG or his friends, blame it on Metafilter rubbernecks.
posted by thirteenkiller at 5:56 AM on March 3, 2006

Yes. You didn't start a new thread. You merely derailed an old one.
posted by crunchland at 6:03 AM on March 3, 2006

PG is MeFi's lovable little scamp, as mathowie said.

Not in this thread he hasn't, unless you're confusing crunchland and Mathowie.
posted by drill_here_fore_seismics at 6:12 AM on March 3, 2006

posted by ND¢ at 6:13 AM on March 3, 2006

jonson also posted the last "whatever happened to PG" thread to MetaTalk.
posted by jessamyn at 6:13 AM on March 3, 2006

I'm beginning to understand what was going on here.
posted by tellurian at 6:23 AM on March 3, 2006

PG is MeFi's lovable little scamp, as mathowie said.

Not in this thread he hasn't

I never said it was in this thread.
posted by grouse at 6:29 AM on March 3, 2006

i miss everything.
posted by sgt.serenity at 6:30 AM on March 3, 2006

Whatever happened to the man of tomorrow?
posted by Dreamghost at 6:30 AM on March 3, 2006

Yeah, yeah. It was here. OMG so cuuuuuuute.
posted by Gator at 6:34 AM on March 3, 2006

Matt you should of licensed moift's animal catchpa technology.

Man, that would of been awsome. =/
posted by Dreamghost at 6:39 AM on March 3, 2006

I never said it was in this thread.

No, but not qualifying it by writing

as mathowie has said previously/in the past

made it a bit misleading.
posted by drill_here_fore_seismics at 7:01 AM on March 3, 2006

"jonson also posted the last "whatever happened to PG" thread to MetaTalk."

mere coincidence
posted by mischief at 7:01 AM on March 3, 2006

But has anyone written #1 a "Dear Richard" letter yet?
posted by darukaru at 7:19 AM on March 3, 2006

I'm beginning to understand what was going on here.

jonson also posted the last "whatever happened to PG" thread to MetaTalk.

Haha, okay okay, it's true. Me, PG, TwelveTwo and jonson are all the same person.*

*above claim not true
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:19 AM on March 3, 2006

No, but not qualifying it by writing

as mathowie has said previously/in the past

made it a bit misleading.

Only in your mind. It's pretty easy to see that mathowie didn't say that in this thread, and I never thought that anyone would imagine that. I'd love to hear what possible advantage you imagine I would achieve by "misleading" people somehow implying that Matt said something today that he actually said three months ago.
posted by grouse at 7:20 AM on March 3, 2006

It's pretty easy to see that mathowie didn't say that in this thread

So then why mention it at all, as it's an obviously out of date/context quotation?

You've expressed the opinion that PG should stay, and to me it looks like you're using the quote to try and add some authority to your opinion in what, as you point out, is not a democracy.

You did ask.
posted by drill_here_fore_seismics at 7:28 AM on March 3, 2006

Wait, didn't PG hijack old, unused accounts, causing the rest of us to have to do that captcha bullshit? Because if so, then what the fuck? Three seconds to enter it * thirty-thousand members = twenty-five man-hours per day (about how often I log in, at least) wasted. Fuck fourth chances, Matt. How in the hell is this okay?
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:29 AM on March 3, 2006

PareidoliaticBoy writes "I can't remember what it was that Pretty Generic did that got him banned the last time ( I get these dorks all mixed up)"

His ban was the result of his half responsiblity for that AskMe about the guy getting his blind girlfriend's, sister pregnant.
posted by Mitheral at 7:29 AM on March 3, 2006

*above claim not true

Well, actually, it's kind of true for at least one of P_G's socks: spinoza was mostly thirteenkiller.

So, you shared a sockpuppet account with the banned guy you couldn't wait to post about in an unrelated MeTa thread? That explains a lot.
posted by mediareport at 7:32 AM on March 3, 2006

OC, I did a sort of annotated outline of the rascal-formerly-known-as-pretty-generic's hijinx in that older thread. The story goes that another guy hacked the accounts and then gave one to PG who didn't have an unbanned account at that point.
posted by jessamyn at 7:37 AM on March 3, 2006

So then why mention it at all, as it's an obviously out of date/context quotation?

Cause I thought it was funny. Especially the friend of a database hacker bit.

You've expressed the opinion that PG should stay, and to me it looks like you're using the quote to try and add some authority to your opinion in what, as you point out, is not a democracy.

I doubt the decisionmaker in this non-democracy would be fooled by that, if true. Seeing as it was something that he said. I would imagine he knows when it was.
posted by grouse at 7:45 AM on March 3, 2006

Cause I thought it was funny. Especially the friend of a database hacker bit

Then you should have linked to it, not least because you didn't quote the bit you found 'especially funny' and this would also have dated the comment for those not familiar with it.

I didn't for one second think you were trying to 'fool' mathowie, but it did cross my mind that you were trying to rally more support to the PG apologists' increasingly tedious cause.
posted by drill_here_fore_seismics at 8:04 AM on March 3, 2006

The story goes that another guy hacked the accounts and then gave one to PG who didn't have an unbanned account at that point.

That story is brown and smells like it would help the flowers grow.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 8:05 AM on March 3, 2006

The current practice of banning seems a lot like this comic: (only replace "Answer a Riddle" with "Pay $5")

the Parking Lot is Full cartoon about sock puppets

posted by blue_beetle at 8:13 AM on March 3, 2006

How in the hell is this okay?

if it irks optimus chyme i'm okay with it.
posted by quonsar at 8:28 AM on March 3, 2006

no one cares about your internet grudge quonsar
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:31 AM on March 3, 2006

I care.
posted by grouse at 8:36 AM on March 3, 2006

I kinda do too.
posted by puke & cry at 8:46 AM on March 3, 2006

ryanrs - And a credit card number.

that's a trivial obstacle ... all he has to do is give a friend 5 bucks and have him put it on his credit card
posted by pyramid termite at 8:48 AM on March 3, 2006

Well, if we can't keep him from coming back by banning him, I think the only solution, then, is physical violence against his person. According to his profile, there are 48 people who live near him...
posted by crunchland at 8:52 AM on March 3, 2006

Yes, but how many of those 48 *are* him?
posted by ereshkigal45 at 9:05 AM on March 3, 2006

no one cares about your internet grudge quonsar

shut the fuck up

posted by quonsar at 9:11 AM on March 3, 2006

Awwwww, c'mon, any of us, if we were in the same situation, would also ask for, and expect, a 374th chance!

Seriously, count me among the mystified. Whether or not he's "lovable," "a scamp," "a rascal," or "funny" (beyond high-school-junior-level humor) is up for debate. That he has repeatedly abused the site and its members is not. Why is there any question here?
posted by soyjoy at 9:27 AM on March 3, 2006

aren't all the people who are calling him "a lovable scamp" or "funny" or whatever just friends of his from real life?

fuck those guys, and fuck him, too.
posted by shmegegge at 10:01 AM on March 3, 2006

he has repeatedly abused the site

you say that like it's a bad thing. i bet you support legislation to criminalize flag burning too.
posted by quonsar at 10:07 AM on March 3, 2006

calling him "a lovable scamp" or "funny" or whatever just friends of his from real life?

Personally I've only met PG at two MeFi meetups.

fuck those guys, and fuck him, too.

Is such hostility really warranted?
posted by grouse at 10:11 AM on March 3, 2006

O rite that was a joke lol see lol I get it lol well thank god you know? BUT THE REST OF YOU ARE STILL JERKS.
posted by thirteenkiller at 10:13 AM on March 3, 2006

i bet you support legislation to criminalize flag burning too.

Nope. You're probably confusing it with my support for legislation in favor of quonsar-abusing.
posted by soyjoy at 10:39 AM on March 3, 2006

hurt me so good, baby!
posted by quonsar at 10:50 AM on March 3, 2006

I think the only solution, then, is physical violence against his person. According to his profile, there are 48 people who live near him...

Yeah, but him and his flat mate are bigger than me so fuck that.
posted by dodgygeezer at 11:08 AM on March 3, 2006

MetaFilter: fuck those guys, and fuck him, too.
posted by matteo at 11:14 AM on March 3, 2006

Awwwww, c'mon, any of us, if we were in the same situation, would also ask for, and expect, a 374th chance!

at 5 bucks a pop, that's 1870 bucks

matt should be so lucky
posted by pyramid termite at 11:20 AM on March 3, 2006

I never really thought about how much money Rich Kyanka makes off of the SA forums. Much be a lot.
posted by puke & cry at 11:35 AM on March 3, 2006

DEAR MATTHEW
posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:21 PM on March 3, 2006

Wha? Did someone seriously imply that I'm PG's sockpuppet?
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:28 PM on March 3, 2006

I think so, TwelveTwo.
posted by thirteenkiller at 12:40 PM on March 3, 2006

Amazing.
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:41 PM on March 3, 2006

Creepy, even.
posted by thirteenkiller at 12:41 PM on March 3, 2006

P_G should feel honored.
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:44 PM on March 3, 2006

stavros, i can't help that you're so hell-bent on being nasty to me that you can't make a connection between Tom Vu (getting rich selling real estate) and Lowtax, who you yourself asserted had his own "school of getting rich" selling what is essentially internet "real estate."

your "old curmudgeon" schtick gets ever older. so boring.

I don't know what that means

and yet that never stops you from being snotty.
posted by Hat Maui at 12:48 PM on March 3, 2006

god, you fucktards don't quit do you?
posted by puke & cry at 12:52 PM on March 3, 2006

Wow, all this talk of physical violence, unmitigated hatred, and general dogpiling is really something else.

It's interesting to see that we're only a "community" when things are going well. If someone screws up, God help him, because we all turn into a violent mob of turd-throwing monkeys.
posted by antifreez_ at 1:10 PM on March 3, 2006

Ban his sorry ass forever. Ban his sock puppets. Ban them over and over until he gives up and goes away. P_G, or whatever he's calling himself these days, has abused this site more than any other user. Ever.

While your at it, take thirteenkiller out too... just because he annoys me.
posted by cedar at 1:32 PM on March 3, 2006

TwelveTwo, I'm not sure what's going on, but I think it's making puke & cry mad.
posted by thirteenkiller at 1:32 PM on March 3, 2006

This has me looking forward to comments from FourteenNotPrettyGenericISwear.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 1:40 PM on March 3, 2006

Yeah, I'm unsure, thirteenkiller. I haven't really done anything related to P_G banning except make fun of it. What's stranger still, this was all predicted by today's horoscope.
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:46 PM on March 3, 2006

It's like Milk & Cheese only without the funny.
posted by yerfatma at 1:46 PM on March 3, 2006

If I recall correctly, Pretty_Generic is the reason we have to do one of those stupid "what letters do you see" tricks when we log in. That's definitely a tangible reason why he's bad news. But I enjoyed his presence when he wasn't launching script attacks against the site. Ah well. Sometimes people you like talking to turn out to be floor-pissers, and you just can't have them over anymore. Sad.
posted by scarabic at 1:47 PM on March 3, 2006

Well TwelveTwo you be on the lookout;
I know we're supposed to be arch-enemies, but there are some people here harboring a lot of rage so maybe it's good you removed your location from your profile.

Oh, by the way, did you get that cheese & sausage sampler basket I sent you?
posted by thirteenkiller at 1:52 PM on March 3, 2006

It was scrumptious!
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:53 PM on March 3, 2006

You didn't notice any..... ticking?
posted by thirteenkiller at 1:58 PM on March 3, 2006

Dear Mr. antifreez_ : Please aqcuire a sense of humor. Not every statement is meant as an earnest suggestion.
posted by crunchland at 2:01 PM on March 3, 2006

I thought it was the tockwurst!
posted by TwelveTwo at 2:04 PM on March 3, 2006

thirteenkiller: "I know we're supposed to be arch-enemies, but there are some people here harboring a lot of rage so maybe it's good you removed your location from your profile."

Yeah, that's a good idea. MetaFilter denizens often stalk, pull home invasions and otherwise harass the innocent. It's like a hobby. Happens all the time.

It's good your taking proper precautions and your parents must be pleased. On the other hand, if your so concerned about 'rage' and real life repercussions, I'm having a hard time figuring out why you still here.
posted by cedar at 2:11 PM on March 3, 2006

I did enjoy protocols fpps, but they come with additional baggage.
posted by puke & cry at 2:16 PM on March 3, 2006

It's good your taking proper precautions and your parents must be pleased. On the other hand, if your so concerned about 'rage' and real life repercussions, I'm having a hard time figuring out why you still here.

I think it should be "you're parent's".
posted by Armitage Shanks at 2:36 PM on March 3, 2006

Is such hostility really warranted?

fuck is not always said with hostility. in this case, it was dismissal.
posted by shmegegge at 2:54 PM on March 3, 2006

fuck is not always said with hostility.

Oh, in that case, fuck you, asshole.
(in the nicest most non-hostile way possible)
posted by grouse at 3:09 PM on March 3, 2006

Pretty_Generic is the reason we have to do one of those stupid "what letters do you see" tricks when we log in.

that's like saying mohammad atta is the reason police violently dismantled a bicycle yesterday at ohio university.
posted by quonsar at 3:09 PM on March 3, 2006

no, not really. It was his bruteforcing logins that got the capha put up. He was directly responsible for it.
posted by puke & cry at 3:19 PM on March 3, 2006

Like bits through the OC3...so are the days of our lives.
posted by furtive at 3:26 PM on March 3, 2006

no, not really. It was his bruteforcing logins that got the capha put up. He was directly responsible for it.

uh... no he was not. He did not do the attacks on the site. He was giving an account from the guy who found the coldfusion exploit. I guess he should of refused the cracked account but he did not plan or participate in the attacks.

So uh yeah you might want to get your facts straight.
posted by Dreamghost at 3:31 PM on March 3, 2006

...the guy who found the coldfusion exploit.

I'm pretty sure this was just a dictionary attack (and I also heard, not done by PG) but mathowie cleaned up some other exploitable CF stuff at the same time, which is why we can't have customizable user pages.
posted by jessamyn at 3:39 PM on March 3, 2006

TwelveTwo: Yes, yes, the tockwurst. Your tummy should stop ticking around midnight.
posted by thirteenkiller at 3:42 PM on March 3, 2006

man, puke & cry, you're dumb. This far into this argument and you don't know what the story even is?
posted by jonson at 3:48 PM on March 3, 2006

dreamghost: hei plz tell me what p_g said the other day in that thread

dreamghost: the gist of it

13killer: he asked me what I was going to do with all the junk in my trunk

13killer: it was drunk flirty stuff with me

lol this is the big ban worthy offence... haha
posted by Dreamghost at 3:57 PM on March 3, 2006

Wasn't PG involved with the Kennedy assassination?
posted by xmutex at 3:58 PM on March 3, 2006

So... people IN the cabal, in favor of Peeg coming back. Everyone else, against. I look forward to his swift return, and let us speak no more of this.
posted by jonson at 4:00 PM on March 3, 2006

xmutex: "Wasn't PG involved with the Kennedy assassination?"

For which he should be given a frickin' medal! Son of the Mask was unpardonable!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:03 PM on March 3, 2006

xmutex see jonson's comment under yours to see that your comment is not so far fetched...

trust no one mr. haughey
posted by Dreamghost at 4:03 PM on March 3, 2006

Man, these threads aren't nearly as fun as they used to be.
posted by sciurus at 4:10 PM on March 3, 2006

He was giving an account from the guy who found the coldfusion exploit. I guess he should of refused the cracked account but he did not plan or participate in the attacks.

Yeah, if you believe him. Why would anyone do that? You honestly think he just happened upon the account?

And considering your talking about a coldfusion exploit when it was a dictionary attack, why the fuck are you telling me to get my facts straight?
posted by puke & cry at 4:25 PM on March 3, 2006

Puke & cry, you have such hostility in you.
posted by thirteenkiller at 4:28 PM on March 3, 2006

Yeah, if you believe him. Why would anyone do that?

Because some people know him well enough to know he's an actual human being on not the devil incarnate?
posted by cortex at 4:30 PM on March 3, 2006

Because puke & cry i know there was more then one exploit. but hey keep talking about shit you dont know. I know it was not p_g because the person who did the attack talked about it pretty freely.

So once again get your fucking facts straight.
posted by Dreamghost at 4:35 PM on March 3, 2006

So... people IN the cabal, in favor of Peeg coming back.

You are mistaken. There is no cabal.
posted by insomnus at 4:38 PM on March 3, 2006

So would now be a good time to post my MeFi CAPTCHA defeating code to Projects?
posted by public at 4:46 PM on March 3, 2006

This sort of thing clearly calls for another London meetup, if only so we can settle this issue with a delightful round of mock-virtual fisticuffs (in which the arguments may only be conducted via the medium of pen and post-it notes).

No? No.
posted by hugsnkisses at 4:53 PM on March 3, 2006

posted by brownpau at 5:03 PM on March 3, 2006

Seriously...

P_G: hope you've enjoyed reading this, it's got you a lot of attention, so - hey that's a result, right?

It's not the first thread about you, so - you are now an official Mefi celebrity. Whoopee-doo.

Um, but there is the rub: how do you convert that 'I just got a video on 'Worlds Wildest Web Chases' vibe back into a reputation for interesting links, and not just being the guy that regularly crashes and burns?

How do you keep up the persona, without having to periodically pay your $5 sockpuppet fee?

Give it up. Stop fucking posting drunk. It ain't balanced equally by the great stuff you put on the FP. Really.

Carry on with the edgy comments - why not?
Carry on with the obscure links - thats Mefi.

Just stop taking the piss. That's what 99.9% of members do. The after-the-fact apologies are pathetic. It's not a good look.

Loadsalove, Dashie.
posted by dash_slot- at 5:42 PM on March 3, 2006

it's got you a lot of attention, so - hey that's a result, right?

Yeah, that seems to have been thirteenkiller's motivation for posting the comment jonson linked at the start of this mess. Has thirteenkiller ever bothered to explain why he didn't try contacting Matt first before derailing an unrelated thread? Seems pretty obvious he did it that way knowing it would announce the ban and get attention.

How proud he must be.
posted by mediareport at 5:51 PM on March 3, 2006

(she)
posted by thirteenkiller at 5:54 PM on March 3, 2006

Metafilter needs to be more like Logan's Run. 30 posts, 3,000 comments, or 3 banninations and it's off to Carousel, bitch.
posted by bardic at 6:04 PM on March 3, 2006

Like commedia dell'arte without the hard to spell bits.
posted by yerfatma at 6:22 PM on March 3, 2006

Metafilter needs to be more like Logan's Run.

Only if I get to bang Jenny Agutter. Le Rrrrowrrrr.....

Also, 13Killer, you have a vagina? Have you checked it for centipedes??
posted by jonson at 6:25 PM on March 3, 2006

Yes and yes, it's clean.
posted by thirteenkiller at 6:28 PM on March 3, 2006

Sand?
posted by bardic at 6:35 PM on March 3, 2006

As a person who is related to many females I find this sort of talk to be completely demeaning.
posted by rob paxon at 6:38 PM on March 3, 2006

Sand?

No i think she's just not satisfied by your tiny penis. ;/
posted by Dreamghost at 6:44 PM on March 3, 2006

O snapes bardic got it bad.
posted by rob paxon at 6:45 PM on March 3, 2006

I have an innie.
posted by bardic at 6:49 PM on March 3, 2006

YEAH EXACTLY
posted by thirteenkiller at 6:50 PM on March 3, 2006

Can I stick something in it for a minute?
posted by rob paxon at 6:51 PM on March 3, 2006

I have an innie.

lol
posted by Dreamghost at 6:52 PM on March 3, 2006

bardic, the Logan's Run suggestion has been made.

I suppose it could be worse. I hear in Soviet Russian, the jokes steal you.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:53 PM on March 3, 2006

Actually:
"In America, Soviet Russia Joke Make You!"

And in Yakov's case, for all intents and purposes it did.

Also free PG. My cats are on a mandated hunger strike until he is reinstated. I will be posting pictures of their day-to-day deterioration if necessary.
posted by rob paxon at 6:55 PM on March 3, 2006

(she)

Wow, that's a shocker. Usually the folks who get off on this kind of thing are guys. My most humble apologies. I would've sworn you had a dick.

Still, while we're here, how about an answer to the question: Was there any particular reason you felt compelled to derail a thread instead of asking Matt about the ban via email?
posted by mediareport at 7:05 PM on March 3, 2006

Had no idea AZ. Sorry bout that. I vowed to give up metatalk a few weeks ago after I came very close to my first flameout. Now I'm back, tanned and rested. With my inverted penis.
posted by bardic at 7:18 PM on March 3, 2006

Like sand in the vaseline...

....so are the days of our lives.
posted by eriko at 7:21 PM on March 3, 2006

Oh, in that case, fuck you, asshole.

ok, if you honestly don't believe that fuck can be said non-hostilely, then let me provide you the following examples.

NWA: fuck tha police = hostile
some dude on the street: man, fuck mcdonald's, I want some real food = not hostile.

but I suspect you're simply going to refuse to see this.
posted by shmegegge at 7:23 PM on March 3, 2006

mediareport: Females don't usually get off on playful banter with males they are enamored with?
posted by rob paxon at 7:26 PM on March 3, 2006

mediareport, the impression I got from one of jessamyn's above comments was that they DID try to contact matt, but he didn't get back to them fast enough for them. (It seems to have been about a half a day before 13killer made the post). the question might be why they were so impatient.
posted by shmegegge at 7:27 PM on March 3, 2006

Ugh, mediareport, go away. You're such a creep.
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:50 PM on March 3, 2006

I've often contemplated twelvetwo and thirteenkiller being sockos...or possibly spouses.

Anyway - I'm just briefly sticking my head in here to say -
FREE PotEoA!! FREEEEEE PoooootEEEEoAAAA!!!!

Seriously - I don't associate people with their sockpuppets. Every account is a new person to me. This is, after all, the internet. Everyone gets as many different personalities as they need.

I'm gonna go get a sock puppet.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 7:56 PM on March 3, 2006

...some people know him well enough to know he's an actual human being on not the devil incarnate?

Oh, for Christ's sake. Nobody cares. We're not talking about how this putz behaves in a bar, or in your apartment, or at the circus, or wherever the hell you spend your time. Maybe he's a great friend and maybe he spends every Sunday working in a soup kitchen. On this website, he's a fuck-up, and he should be banned from using it.
posted by cribcage at 8:01 PM on March 3, 2006

Maybe we should just shoot him in the face instead. I mean, he is total scum and he ruins lives.
posted by rob paxon at 8:08 PM on March 3, 2006

Ugh, mediareport, go away.

We'll take that as a 'no answer,' then. Thanks for playing.
posted by mediareport at 8:09 PM on March 3, 2006

they DID try to contact matt, but he didn't get back to them fast enough for them

Well, P_G tried to contact Matt, and after a few hours with no response, thirteenkiller apparently decided we all needed something more appropriate to the gravity of the occasion. I think it's pretty obvious at this point that rather than a simple answer to the question, "How long is P_G banned for this time?", what thirteenkiller was going for was some way of publicly announcing the ban, without taking the risk of posting a MeTa thread herself. So she piped up in a completely unrelated thread, jonson rose to the bait, and - voila - they got their little public spoogefest.

Yeah, I'd say 'creepy' about covers it.
posted by mediareport at 8:18 PM on March 3, 2006

Yeah, it is pretty creepy the way you overanalyze a pretty uneventful moment in internet history.
posted by rob paxon at 8:26 PM on March 3, 2006

If you're refreshing a day-old MeTa thread at 11:30 PM on a Friday night, perhaps you ought not snicker that other people are too invested.
posted by cribcage at 8:32 PM on March 3, 2006

Yes, between the conversations I'm having and the hockey game I'm watching, I really ought not dedicate the immense amount of time it takes to refresh this page (or click a link to this page when brought to attention) before I head off to work. I might burn myself out.

I didn't say he was too invested, which isn't really a good way to put it anyhow. I'm sure no one is refreshing obsessively while doing nothing else. I said he is overanalyizing things. He's being vindictive and self-important, as well.

Thanks for the attempted burn though, hopefully with time and perseverance I will recover.
posted by rob paxon at 8:40 PM on March 3, 2006

my theory is that twelvetwo, p_g, and poteoa are the same person, and that thirteenkiller is their live-in girlfriend.

and they're in a crappy garage band but they have like totally a ton of friends on myspace so they'll get picked up really soon by tooth and nail and sell a whole assload of albums. then they'll get married, in some retarded ceremony precided over by the drummer - but that won't be enough - they'll actually go get a marriage license. And then they'll start to fight about what to do with the $7500 they made selling t-shirts and cds for $30 at their shows in Ann Arbor. So they'll get into some nasty drama, there. god. and we'll all find out about it. somehow. the divorce. the pregnancy. and maybe someone will make a thread about it in the brown but frankly I couldn't care less - I mean I kinda liked thirteenkiller but after I put two and two together? no way.

this thread is so big. so big.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:49 PM on March 3, 2006

Uh, no. PG is none of those people. 13 is his long-distance gf.
posted by Azhruwi at 8:54 PM on March 3, 2006

WELL

PG and Poteoa are the same person and I am his girlfriend and I do intend to marry him. My band broke up already years ago and TwelveTwo is a totally unrelated guy and I haven't slept with him nor do I intend to but it's pretty hilarious that people think we're sockpuppets. Also, I'm not making this up.

AND METAFILTER BROUGHT US TOGETHER (heart heart)
posted by thirteenkiller at 8:58 PM on March 3, 2006

Actually, I think it'll all fall apart when she becomes addicted to a MMORPG and loses interest in him and his horrible Metafilter-destroying antics.
posted by rob paxon at 8:58 PM on March 3, 2006

MMmmm....nu-uh. Sorry. How did peeg get drawn into this thread if we're strictly talking about poteoa's banning? Note: Also: (i'm drinking) twelvetwo and thirteenkiller always almost post by each other at the same time.

god damn. i am the matlock of metafilter. somebody get me a mint julip.

i ALSO suspect - nay! I also BLEEVE that there is some british company somewhere - like maybe a law firm or ad agency or something - and there's a whole bunch of you all friends with each other, using metafilter as your personal joke line. And YOU'RE one of them, Azhruwi. You british people. with your clubs! secret, metafilter in-gatherings. i'm on to you.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:00 PM on March 3, 2006

You just called Azhruwi British?! The fucking gall. I wouldn't take that if I were you, Azh.
posted by Jimbob at 9:04 PM on March 3, 2006

whoa. rob paxon are you hitting below the belt there?

i'm not drunk enough to forget about this in the morning, you know.
actually maybe i don't know. i do know i'll probably see this and flag it. in the mroning.

and i think your one of the british people in the secret british persons club, rob. i do.

thirteenkiller- i want you to know that if you are NOT who you say you are - rather - if you are one of p_g's little psycho mind-screwing trick sockpuppets who only exist to elicite a response from us - IF that is what you are - well then. I'm on to you too.

however, if you're not then, well. best of luck and say hi to p_g.

incidentally, what did you play in the band?
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:04 PM on March 3, 2006

I play banjo for Cabalist Soul Jam. We aren't interested in signing with Tooth and Nail though -- not a fan.

Thirteenkiller is not PG. That's been overstated.
posted by rob paxon at 9:11 PM on March 3, 2006

Baby_Balrog, in the off-chance our wedding is not a ten minute affair before some civil official, you can be a bridesmaid, but not the maid of honor.

In the off-chance that I am a sockpuppet, I give you permission to track PG down and spank him.

Also I played bass, like any girl.
posted by thirteenkiller at 9:13 PM on March 3, 2006

well i play fiddle in a band called barefoot runnin.

an i will definitiely be your bridesmaid no matter how far i ahve to drive or fly.

ii just fell asleep for a second there so good night all
i was on to somethin with the secret british club thing
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:15 PM on March 3, 2006

There is no secret british persons club.
posted by thirteenkiller at 9:17 PM on March 3, 2006

is this the band you guys are talking about?
posted by pyramid termite at 9:20 PM on March 3, 2006

I flagged it now; that was fucking tasteless, even for this... whatever the hell this is.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:20 PM on March 3, 2006

The only thing sadder than P_G's desperate clinging to this site is his (imaginary?) friends' mindless support.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 9:24 PM on March 3, 2006

You're probably right. Life's a bitch I guess.
posted by rob paxon at 9:25 PM on March 3, 2006

I think another sadder thing is when Michael Landon died.
posted by thirteenkiller at 9:29 PM on March 3, 2006

were you there when they crucified jack lord?
posted by pyramid termite at 9:31 PM on March 3, 2006

Actual (paraphrased) thoughts expressed above:

"I'm not his live-in girlfriend, I'm his *internet* girlfriend."

"I'm not really a dork for reading MetaFilter on a Friday night because I'm *also* watching a hockey game at the same time."
posted by Mid at 9:39 PM on March 3, 2006

This thread is like a jonson litmus test for who is funny & who isn't, even without actual jokes being told in the thread. The aggressively uptight Peeg MUST BE BANNINATED OR I SHALL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN group, while remarkably amusing seem to be absolutely devoid of humor. That Michael Landon comment, on the other hand, that was pretty damn funny.
posted by jonson at 9:59 PM on March 3, 2006

So, the scenerio is this: A hacker had brute-forced a very old metafilter account. He then contacted P_G (randomly?) and asked him if he would like to use this account as a sock puppet. P_G, being the polite guy that he is, said "sure, I'll use it, it would be rude of me to refuse your request." He then began using the account until matt figured out what was going on and banned him. P_G's response was then "Hey, I was just using it because someone asked me to!" There is also some coldfusion exploit somewhere in there.

However, the more likely case is this: P_G or some other member of his band of merrymen had been brute-forcing old accounts with the intent to fuck with the site. Once caught using the old account, P_G came up with a lame excuse and pleaded ignorance.

And that would be reasonable if he wasn't already known for enjoying fucking around here. But, since that isn't the case, that doesn't hold any water.
posted by puke & cry at 10:03 PM on March 3, 2006

P_G or some other member of his band of merrymen...

I heard it was Protocols of the Elders of Awesome.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:17 PM on March 3, 2006

Since permaban doesn't seem to be an option, maybe we can all chip in and buy P-G an hour with a whore every month so that he'll be calm and satisfied, and won't feel the need to fuck with the site.
posted by Devils Slide at 10:32 PM on March 3, 2006

some dude on the street: man, fuck mcdonald's, I want some real food = not hostile.

Maybe. But if you said it to Ray Kroc's widow, I think it would be hostile.

More succinctly: when you say "fuck person X" and person X is right there it's hard to imagine that not being hostile, whatever you say.
posted by grouse at 12:21 AM on March 4, 2006

"TwelveTwo is a totally unrelated guy and I haven't slept with him"

No?
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:29 AM on March 4, 2006

There goes my theory that PEA and 13k are the same person...

*mind explodes*
posted by greycap at 2:20 AM on March 4, 2006

Mid: You should work on your paraphrasing skills. Whether or not I am a dork was not question (feel free to draw your own conclusions), nor is it relevant to reading Metafilter or watching hockey. You're missing the point offered up, which was that I was doing several other things aside from making replies 10, 20, or more minutes apart. The further point was that my so-called "investment" was not even relevant as I didn't claim anyone was overly invested to begin with.

Oh wait, but it is Friday! I should be out drinking raw sewage and banging strippers! Except for the fact I had to work at half-past midnight...

Baby_Balrog... I didn't intend for my jab to be mean-spirited, though it occurred to me shortly after that it probably is going to seem that way. I was aiming to razz you; sometimes I overestimate the thickness of others' skin. So my bad at any rate and flag away if that's how you roll. You have to admit it was pretty funny though -- you know, if it wasn't ... you.
posted by rob paxon at 3:07 AM on March 4, 2006

*surrepititiously scrawls an obscenity on page 69 of a small succession of library books*
posted by quonsar at 6:42 AM on March 4, 2006

you know we see you doing that?
posted by jessamyn at 6:50 AM on March 4, 2006

that's why he does it
posted by cortex at 8:13 AM on March 4, 2006

thirteenkiller- i want you to know that if you are NOT who you say you are - rather - if you are one of p_g's little psycho mind-screwing trick sockpuppets who only exist to elicite a response from us - IF that is what you are - well then. I'm on to you too.

however, if you're not then, well. best of luck and say hi to p_g.

Yeah, but, see—you kind of have to been on to him or not on to him. This is like one of those "I'm very sorry if you thought that I did something wrong" non-apologies.
posted by cortex at 8:14 AM on March 4, 2006

(Where him = her if we're actually talking about thirteenkiller the-girl-who-exists, and him = him if we're talking about incorrect but understandable assumption that we're talking about a sock.)
posted by cortex at 8:18 AM on March 4, 2006

Ack. I really tied one on last night.

Apologies to everyone. Though I doubt anyone is still reading this thread, anyway.

Everything's cool, Rob. I think that was me trying to start the internet equivalent of a bar fight. Believe me, no one sees my situation in a more comic light than I do.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:13 AM on March 4, 2006

Well, if this thread proved nothing else, at least the ever tallying jonson has his list of who has a sense of humor and who doesn't, so it's not a total loss.
posted by crunchland at 10:52 AM on March 4, 2006

It makes me very, very sad that I completely missed this thread.

God damn it.
posted by dersins at 11:18 AM on March 4, 2006

crunchie, you were in the "no" column long before this thread. But on the plus side, like peeg, your posts to the blue are fantastic, which in my book makes up for your other shortcomings.
posted by jonson at 1:44 PM on March 4, 2006

Praise Jesus.
posted by crunchland at 4:16 PM on March 4, 2006

*praises Jesus*
posted by cortex at 4:41 PM on March 4, 2006

posted by Dreamghost at 8:46 PM on March 4, 2006

I've gone past Mr PG maybe a thousand times in my life. He's in Prince George, BC, a couple hours from my hometown. It blows my fucking mind to see a picture of him on Metafilter.

Praise Mr PG.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:52 PM on March 4, 2006

This thread is dumb. OMG MATT PLZ DON'T DELETE THIS POST KEKEKE ^_^~~~
posted by Azhruwi at 10:35 PM on March 4, 2006

*praises mr pg*
posted by shmegegge at 11:15 PM on March 4, 2006

PG has a huge woody
posted by pyramid termite at 3:53 PM on March 5, 2006

That's quite a bush between his legs, too.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:55 PM on March 5, 2006

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