If you can't be bothered to punctuate or capitalize, maybe you shouldn't post to the front page.

September 29, 2006 12:45 PM

If you can't be bothered to punctuate or capitalize, maybe you shouldn't post to the front page.
posted by dame to etiquette/policy at 12:45 PM (84 comments total)

Gratuitous callouts diminish the effectiveness of MetaTalk. ~ exogenous
posted by SeizeTheDay at 12:49 PM on September 29, 2006

Besides, it's a Friday and half the people here who hang out at this time are drunk, anyway (or should be).
posted by SeizeTheDay at 12:50 PM on September 29, 2006

I've seen worse.
posted by knave at 12:54 PM on September 29, 2006

Then again, you were always a pedant.
posted by Krrrlson at 12:56 PM on September 29, 2006

i don't think people who can't be bothered to capitalize their usernames should be allowed to have metafilter accounts
posted by birdherder at 12:56 PM on September 29, 2006

I.S TH'IS B!ETTER?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:59 PM on September 29, 2006

Meh.
posted by boo_radley at 1:00 PM on September 29, 2006

Well, the "Nasa" is a Britishism, since it's the title of the UK story.
posted by smackfu at 1:01 PM on September 29, 2006

Yeah, I'm actually enough of an anal psycho to know about the Brits & their strange feeling about acronyms. My problem is the vast contempt shown for people who are supposed to care what you have to say. I mean, it's one thing in a comment.

(Robocop: Very.)
posted by dame at 1:04 PM on September 29, 2006

You're mad that someone said "Nasa" (quoting an article) instead of "NASA"?

?
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 1:10 PM on September 29, 2006

Besides, it's a Friday and half the people here who hang out at this time are drunk, anyway (or should be).

Damned PST. Damned employment.
posted by cortex at 1:11 PM on September 29, 2006

No, ClaudiaCenter. I'm mad at the rest of it and the contept it displays. I'm not complaining about the NASA/Nasa thing because I know that's a legitimate variation. Keep up.
posted by dame at 1:13 PM on September 29, 2006

Sometimes, when I'm feeling very pissy, I just print posts like that out, mark them up with a red pen and grade them. Doesn't make me feel any better, but it gives me something to do while I listen to mefi music.
posted by routergirl at 1:14 PM on September 29, 2006 [4 favorites]

routergirl is my new wonderful-beyond-my-wildest-dreams hero.
posted by occhiblu at 1:17 PM on September 29, 2006 [1 favorite]

I blame Busch.
posted by gigawhat? at 1:21 PM on September 29, 2006

I'm mad at the rest of it and the contept it displays.

I hold that post in contept of court!
posted by COBRA! at 1:26 PM on September 29, 2006

this is a terrible callout you should be ashamed of yourself dame youre just antiantispellist i cant believe how bigoted you are amirite
posted by Plutor at 1:30 PM on September 29, 2006

this is hte pore speling and punctation thread make of it what you wil
posted by brain_drain at 1:32 PM on September 29, 2006

Dammit. I was talking about punctuation and capitalization. Because I knew I'd make typos. The spelling thread is down the hall.
posted by dame at 1:36 PM on September 29, 2006

color me meh.
posted by delmoi at 1:43 PM on September 29, 2006

Dude, you can't even type your way out of a bag, so you'll excuse me if your opinion has negative weight.
posted by dame at 1:45 PM on September 29, 2006 [2 favorites]

I"M IN YUR PUNCTUATION AND CAPITALIZATION THREAD MISSPELING WORDZ

(sorry, not drunk yet)
posted by jefbla at 1:46 PM on September 29, 2006

I agree with dame.
posted by grouse at 1:50 PM on September 29, 2006

Well, the "Nasa" is a Britishism, since it's the title of the UK story.

Actually, it's just a Guardianism. Their stylebook is a little odd.
posted by reklaw at 1:55 PM on September 29, 2006

routergirl is my new wonderful-beyond-my-wildest-dreams hero.

Dude, you're just now noticing? She has a six digit ICQ UIN, a mastery of weapons-grade snark and the words "router" and "girl" in her handle.

I'd be much more serious about stalking/wooing her except for the fact that A) she has to be taken, B) with that UIN I probably already know her from somewhere anyway and C) last time I tried SYN-flooding her smoothwall I got ICMP bombed right outta my stack.
posted by loquacious at 1:56 PM on September 29, 2006

"Keep up," huh? Well, OK, if you're going to be snotty about it, then let's clarify. You're saying that people who fail to use proper punctuation and capitalization are, by those actions, displaying "vast contempt" for their audience. Is that right?

'Cause y'know, I'll be first in line for the GrammarNazi™ armbands, but ascribing any motive whatsoever to people whose writing sucks — let alone "vast contempt" — seems like a pretty big stretch.

I was talking about punctuation and capitalization... The spelling thread is down the hall.

Yeah, because God knows they're completely unrelated. You're posting a MeTa to bitch about someone else's bad writing, then you don't bother to proofread your own comments (in that thread), and now you want to pretend that's off-topic? In other words, Hard Rain took a deliberate piss on the community when he omitted those periods — but when you dropped a letter, it was innocent and forgivable.

I'd chalk that attitude to pure chutzpah — except that, from the way you're snipping at everyone who posts into this thread, I suspect your real problem has to do with a different kind of period. (It's a fucking joke.)
posted by cribcage at 1:56 PM on September 29, 2006

Please allow me to answer this with an anti-drug song from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles album: Walk Straight.
Also, Cowabunga.
posted by klangklangston at 1:58 PM on September 29, 2006

God, cribcage, you've been seriously pissy in the last few threads I've seen you in. Have you not been laid at all recently? (It's a fucking joke!)
posted by occhiblu at 2:00 PM on September 29, 2006

Wow. Loquacious, get this. I haven't used ICQ since the late 90's, and your mention of a six-digit UIN got me thinking... "What was mine?" Then it just popped into my head - 3124076. I looked it up, and sure enough, it's me. Pretty ridiculous. I have no idea what my password is though.
posted by knave at 2:03 PM on September 29, 2006

OMG, mysogynistic jokes are so much better when you say it's a joke. Lol, I love thirteen-year-old humor.

No, I was making fun of myself for missing a typo because of course I would do it when bitching about someone else because that shit always happens and it's funny that it does. And I think it's funny this pisses me off.

At the same time, I am serious that posting to the front page like that is gross and wrong. It's insulting enough when someone's comments are consistently riddled with errors (especially the I-don't-know-better sort as opposed to the my-finger-slipped sort).

But I have to go get drunk now.
posted by dame at 2:05 PM on September 29, 2006

You seriously care that much? What the fuck is wrong with you?
posted by klangklangston at 2:07 PM on September 29, 2006

Maybe she hasn't been laid recently.
posted by cribcage at 2:09 PM on September 29, 2006

Hey dame? Did you not capitalize the first character of your name on purpose or is that a typo?

*Summons languagehat, runs like the dickens.*
posted by loquacious at 2:11 PM on September 29, 2006

You know people have written whole theses on what's wrong with me. I can't really sum it up. Really leaving now.
posted by dame at 2:13 PM on September 29, 2006

dame's rap group should be called Niggles With Attitude.
posted by gigawhat? at 2:17 PM on September 29, 2006 [1 favorite]

We're all morans down hear.
posted by blue_beetle at 2:19 PM on September 29, 2006

dame: "But I have to go get drunk now."

We need a tag for this.
posted by koeselitz at 2:34 PM on September 29, 2006

i resemble that
posted by quonsar at 2:40 PM on September 29, 2006

I'll be first in line for the GrammarNazi™ armbands

No one cuts in front of me!
posted by LarryC at 3:05 PM on September 29, 2006

metafilter no spellcheck no punctuation no capitalization

teh future is now
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 3:24 PM on September 29, 2006

I blame e e cummings
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 4:36 PM on September 29, 2006

the way to hump a cow is not

the way to hump a cow is not
to get yourself a stool
but draw a line around the spot
and call it beautifool

to multiply because and why
dividing thens by nows
and adding and(i understand)
is hows to hump a cows

the way to hump a cow is not
to elevate your tool
but drop a penny in the slot
and bellow like a bool

to lay a wreath from ancient greath
on insulated brows
(while tossing boms at uncle toms
is hows to hump a cows

the way to hump a cow is not
to push and then to pull
but practicing the art of swot
to preach the golden rull

to vote for me(all decent mem
and wonens will allows
which if they don't to hell with them)
is hows to hump a cows


If your name was Edward Estlin you'd use your initials, too.
posted by loquacious at 4:49 PM on September 29, 2006

I mean, it's one thing in a comment.

A pedant wrote this?
posted by srboisvert at 4:57 PM on September 29, 2006

Damn knave, you got me beat by a bit, mine is 368XXXX, (I'd post it, but I still use it pretty regularly.)

Thing is, I signed up for one right after they ICQ came out, so somewhere in the depths of my old Mac 635cd may be a 5 digit ICQ UIN.

Tremble in fear before me.
posted by quin at 5:01 PM on September 29, 2006

perhaps this is what we all need.
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 5:03 PM on September 29, 2006

DA WAY 2 HUMP A COW SI NOT
THE WAY 2 HUMP A COW SI NOT
2 G3T U A S2L
BUT DRAW A LIEN AROUND DA SPOT
AND CAL IT BAUTIFOL
2 MULTIPLEY B/C AND Y THENS BY NOWS
AND ADNG AND(I UNDARSTAND)
IS HOWS 2 HUMP A COWS
THA WAY 2 HUMP A COW SI NOT
2 ALEVAET UR 2L
BUT DROP A PENY IN TEH SLOT
AND BLOW LIEK A BOL
2 LAY A WRAATH FROM ANCEINT GRAATH
ON INSULAETD BROWS
(WHIEL 2SNG BOMS AT UNCLE 2MS
IS HOWS 2 HUMP A COWS
THE WAY 2 HUMP A COW SI NOT
2 PUSH AND THAN 2 PUL
BUT PRACTICNG TEH ART OF SWOT
2 PRAACH TEH GOLDEN RUL
2 VOT3 FOR ME(AL DAC3NT M3M
AND WON3NS WIL ALOWS
WHICH IF TH3Y DONT 2 HEL WIT THEM)
IS HOWS 2 HUMP A COWS


What the... what's that rapidly spinning, whirring noise I hear?
posted by loquacious at 5:24 PM on September 29, 2006

for dame, and all the rest, who are not getting laid...



somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands
posted by vronsky at 5:28 PM on September 29, 2006

*rolls eyes*

so that's why people are cranky lately ... because they haven't been humping cows
posted by pyramid termite at 6:17 PM on September 29, 2006

Are we really throwing stones over "showing contempt?" :)
posted by scarabic at 6:19 PM on September 29, 2006

Has it occured to no one that the cows might not be getting laid because no one ever took the trouble to teach them proper grammar and punctuation?!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:25 PM on September 29, 2006

It's not just a Guardianism, reklaw, as I've seen that the Beeb also only capitalizes the beginning of most, if not all "pronounceable" acronyms. [1]  [2]
posted by chimaera at 6:36 PM on September 29, 2006

I have seen this movie and would like to comment on it
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:45 PM on September 29, 2006

251975
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:12 PM on September 29, 2006

I'm on dame's side. Learn how to write like an adult if you want to post to the front page.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 7:23 PM on September 29, 2006

IRFH, I just had an epiphany! My path will be to educate the cows! Bovine punctuation and grammar must be my calling. I will take to the fields, red pen in hand, and begin the most important part of my life.
posted by routergirl at 7:23 PM on September 29, 2006

I have seen this movie and would like to comment on it. (nsfw)

Eponysterical. You're not allowed anywhere near my anus. I think I just figured out why you want one so much.
posted by loquacious at 7:26 PM on September 29, 2006

If you're not using your punctuation, can I have your periods? I want to plant them and start an ellipsis farm.
posted by jonmc at 8:15 PM on September 29, 2006

No really, a game attempt at proper punctuation and grammar is much appreciated. Thanks.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:17 PM on September 29, 2006

my grammar died when I was young. Why'd you bring her up, you cruel man?
posted by jonmc at 8:25 PM on September 29, 2006

I did not think it was that bad but then I am pretty uneducated. It is important to know the difference between "I helped my uncle Jack, off a horse" and "I helped my uncle, jack off a horse" but that is about it. It is good that this place has high standards but if someone thinks they have something to say they should not feel intimidated.
posted by Iron Rat at 8:28 PM on September 29, 2006

If you're not using your punctuation, can I have your periods?

You're even more warped than I thought.
posted by loquacious at 8:38 PM on September 29, 2006

The problem with the poster's mispunctuation is that it causes the text of the post to make no fucking sense. Fortunately there's a single link to a popular news source that clears everything up.
posted by nomad at 8:41 PM on September 29, 2006

don't make me punch you asian
posted by quonsar at 9:06 PM on September 29, 2006

Are we really throwing stones over "showing contempt?" :)

Question mark goes outside the quotation marks.

Thought it was pretty weird that dame claimed delmoi, who had said only "color me meh.", couldn't type his way out of a paper bag, when his ability to type well or poorly can't be inferred from what he wrote.
posted by kenko at 11:46 PM on September 29, 2006

Meh, too.
posted by puddinghead at 12:39 AM on September 30, 2006

Yeah, kenko, that may have been the first time in years that a delmoi post wasn't a travesty of mangled words. I used my memory like a big girl.
posted by dame at 5:25 AM on September 30, 2006

Punctuation and capitalization mean the difference between:

i helped my uncle jack off the horse

and

I helped my Uncle Jack off the horse.
posted by FunkyHelix at 7:38 AM on September 30, 2006

Mmm. Paste tastes good!
posted by flabdablet at 7:39 AM on September 30, 2006

Mastrubatin' or killin'...either way Funky you're a sick one.
posted by fuckwit at 8:56 AM on September 30, 2006

I'll take cowrape over drippy small hands at hippie weddings any old day.
posted by DenOfSizer at 10:15 AM on September 30, 2006

I'll take cowrape over drippy small hands at hippie weddings any old day.

This man speaks the gospel...
posted by Dreamghost at 11:01 AM on September 30, 2006

Learn how to write like an adult if you want to post to the front page.

While I ain't sayin' "Hey, let's jes' throw alla our learnin' out the winder," the claim that a couple of absent uppercases is a sign of contept makes me suspect that someone should put down their copy of Eats, Shoots & Leaves and go enjoy some fresh air in the park. There's plenty of deleted FPPs that would pass muster on a Strunk & White checklist.

"Is it a good link?" first, "Is it well presented?" second.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:33 AM on September 30, 2006

This man speaks the gospel... Um, not that it matters, but I'm no man.
posted by DenOfSizer at 12:02 PM on September 30, 2006

Question mark goes outside the quotation marks.

Well, I'll be... you're right!

Apparently, I am not fit to post here.

Put a dash, question mark, or exclamation point within closing quotation marks when the punctuation applies to the quotation itself and outside when it applies to the whole sentence.

Philip asked, "Do you need this book?"

Does Dr. Lim always say to her students, "You must work harder"?

posted by scarabic at 1:29 PM on September 30, 2006

I have to agree with dame- hard rain needs to spend a skoche more time crafting his/her posts.
posted by oneirodynia at 2:32 PM on September 30, 2006

*Summons languagehat, runs like the dickens.*

Oh, no, you don't. I'm not getting into it with dame; I fear her Mad Editing Skillz, and I adore her too much. However, it can't be said that I feel the same wrath about sloppy front page posts—I've got too much else to be wroth about.
posted by languagehat at 4:29 PM on September 30, 2006

See, look at that deleted piece of crap. I was prescient: inabilty to attempt English is proof of contempt for your audience. I really deserve a cookie or something.

I love you too, languagehat.
posted by dame at 4:50 PM on September 30, 2006

*hands dame a cookie*
posted by occhiblu at 7:22 PM on September 30, 2006

what, no milk?
posted by jonmc at 8:03 PM on September 30, 2006

you expect the cows to give milk when they've been humped so damn hard?
posted by pyramid termite at 8:20 PM on September 30, 2006

Philip asked, "Do you need this book?"

If I ruled the world, or at least common editing practice, the proper way to write the above-italicized sentence would be as the below-italicized sentence is written:

Philip asked, "do you need this book?".

I could go either way on capitalizing the "d", but the final period is obviously necessary. Otherwise the sentence is unterminated, people!
posted by kenko at 11:01 PM on September 30, 2006

Unterminated people are the fucking worst!
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:39 AM on October 1, 2006

Maybe hard rain thought that somebody had to FPP a death in order to be allowed to use the period.
posted by DenOfSizer at 4:25 PM on October 1, 2006

If you're not using your punctuation, can I have your periods?
Looking for an excuse to be a bitch?
posted by dg at 5:35 PM on October 1, 2006