gobble gobble November 22, 2006 9:56 AM Subscribe
What gives with all these turkey-related posts? Reminds me of elephant day...
The Americans are having some kind of shopping holiday.
posted by Mitheral at 10:02 AM on November 22, 2006 [3 favorites]
posted by Mitheral at 10:02 AM on November 22, 2006 [3 favorites]
Somebody do a trail of tears/American Indian genocide post please. Or at least a post on Puritan religious thought, spiders in a flame, the Halfway Covenant, Calvinism, Predestination & Weber on the Protestant work ethic. Or The Puritan Way of Deatha short but excellent book. Or the roots of Abolitionism in Puritan perfectionism, and Stanley Elkins. But no more fucking Turkeys, please.
posted by orthogonality at 10:04 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by orthogonality at 10:04 AM on November 22, 2006
*waves protest sign* TURKEY HATER!!!!
posted by wheelieman at 10:06 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by wheelieman at 10:06 AM on November 22, 2006
It helps if you think of turkey as a code word for penis.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 10:07 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 10:07 AM on November 22, 2006
This is the time of year when American's get together to discuss pilgrims and manifest destiny and comparitive religion, against a backdrop of (American) football and short-term retail discounts.
posted by cortex at 10:10 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by cortex at 10:10 AM on November 22, 2006
and misapply apostrophes
posted by cortex at 10:11 AM on November 22, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by cortex at 10:11 AM on November 22, 2006 [1 favorite]
Fuck you and your apostrophe's!
posted by eyeballkid at 10:22 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by eyeballkid at 10:22 AM on November 22, 2006
Sorry. I meant "you're," obviously.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:22 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by eyeballkid at 10:22 AM on November 22, 2006
A 3 year old recently taught me this:
With a ....
Gobble, gobble, gobble,
And a....
Wobble, wobble, wobble,
The turkey spreads his feathers on thanksgiving day.
When he....
Hears the farmer comin'
The turkey, he goes runnin'
He says you will not catch me on thanksgiving day.
(Additional verses and hand motions sold seperately)
posted by R. Mutt at 10:32 AM on November 22, 2006
With a ....
Gobble, gobble, gobble,
And a....
Wobble, wobble, wobble,
The turkey spreads his feathers on thanksgiving day.
When he....
Hears the farmer comin'
The turkey, he goes runnin'
He says you will not catch me on thanksgiving day.
(Additional verses and hand motions sold seperately)
posted by R. Mutt at 10:32 AM on November 22, 2006
I loved elephant day.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:35 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:35 AM on November 22, 2006
R Mutt: I always like this one (sung to the tune of The Muffin Man)
Gobble gobble gobble, fat turkeys are we.
Gobble gobble gobble, fat turkeys are we.
We're not here for living,
We're herre for Thanksgiving.
Gobble gobble gobble, fat turkeys are we.
Now imagine a room full of kindergardeners singing that happilly and the parents standing around in semi shock.
posted by aspo at 10:38 AM on November 22, 2006 [1 favorite]
Gobble gobble gobble, fat turkeys are we.
Gobble gobble gobble, fat turkeys are we.
We're not here for living,
We're herre for Thanksgiving.
Gobble gobble gobble, fat turkeys are we.
Now imagine a room full of kindergardeners singing that happilly and the parents standing around in semi shock.
posted by aspo at 10:38 AM on November 22, 2006 [1 favorite]
Happy Turkey Day! Youtube link
I was actually looking for the clip of Tuesday Addams' Thanksgiving Day Massacre speech, but came up with nothing...
posted by Chrischris at 10:40 AM on November 22, 2006
I was actually looking for the clip of Tuesday Addams' Thanksgiving Day Massacre speech, but came up with nothing...
posted by Chrischris at 10:40 AM on November 22, 2006
Wednesday Addams, not Tuesday (D'oh!)
posted by Chrischris at 10:43 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by Chrischris at 10:43 AM on November 22, 2006
From Wikipedia:
Asexual reproductionposted by boo_radley at 10:43 AM on November 22, 2006
Turkeys are notable for their ability, rare amongst higher species, to reproduce asexually. In the absence of a male, female Turkeys are known to produce fertile eggs. The individual produced is often sickly, and nearly always male. This behaviour can interfere with the incubation of eggs in Turkey farming[1].
Chrischris, perhaps you'll have better luck searching for Wednesday Adams.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:45 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:45 AM on November 22, 2006
(Oops)
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:45 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:45 AM on November 22, 2006
Yay! It's almost vacation time! Yaaaay!!
posted by thirteenkiller at 10:50 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by thirteenkiller at 10:50 AM on November 22, 2006
Actually, you're both wrong. Thanksgiving falls on a Thursday this year.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 10:50 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 10:50 AM on November 22, 2006
MetaFilter: often sickly, and nearly always male.
posted by languagehat at 10:51 AM on November 22, 2006 [11 favorites]
posted by languagehat at 10:51 AM on November 22, 2006 [11 favorites]
Turkeys are notable for their ability, rare amongst higher species, to reproduce asexually. In the absence of a male, female Turkeys are known to produce fertile eggs. The individual produced is often sickly, and nearly always male.
Jesus wept.
posted by felix betachat at 10:52 AM on November 22, 2006 [1 favorite]
Jesus wept.
posted by felix betachat at 10:52 AM on November 22, 2006 [1 favorite]
You know what I love about languagehat? Everything.
posted by shmegegge at 11:00 AM on November 22, 2006
posted by shmegegge at 11:00 AM on November 22, 2006
Won't someone think of the goslings?
They're called poults. Unless we've changed the subject to geese.
posted by ottereroticist at 11:23 AM on November 22, 2006
They're called poults. Unless we've changed the subject to geese.
posted by ottereroticist at 11:23 AM on November 22, 2006
MetaFilter: often sickly, and nearly always male.
That is teh besto !
posted by Mister_A at 11:44 AM on November 22, 2006
That is teh besto !
posted by Mister_A at 11:44 AM on November 22, 2006
Fuck you and the poults you rode in on. If calling them "luxury turkettes" was good enough for Our Lord, it's good enough for me.
"Poults" is some sort of Godless metric name, isn't it, Frenchie?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:09 PM on November 22, 2006 [2 favorites]
"Poults" is some sort of Godless metric name, isn't it, Frenchie?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:09 PM on November 22, 2006 [2 favorites]
Turkey's can reproduce asexually, can they? That wikipedia link is wrong, right? I'm not that big of a sucker.
posted by arcticwoman at 12:50 PM on November 22, 2006
posted by arcticwoman at 12:50 PM on November 22, 2006
arcticwoman: there's a big honking cite at the bottom for an OSU article about "avian parthenogenesis".
Thank you, Shriekback, for ensuring I'd always be able to spell "parthenogenesis" without thinking about it.
posted by boo_radley at 1:00 PM on November 22, 2006
Thank you, Shriekback, for ensuring I'd always be able to spell "parthenogenesis" without thinking about it.
posted by boo_radley at 1:00 PM on November 22, 2006
Not only turkeys, humans too. I know a married guy who swears he hasn't touched his wife in MONTHS, and she is pregnant!
posted by R. Mutt at 1:03 PM on November 22, 2006
posted by R. Mutt at 1:03 PM on November 22, 2006
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posted by Rhomboid at 1:04 PM on November 22, 2006
Wow, way to blow my mind dudes.
"Turkeys can't..." by the way. I'm not a total moron, evidence to the contrary.
posted by arcticwoman at 1:08 PM on November 22, 2006
"Turkeys can't..." by the way. I'm not a total moron, evidence to the contrary.
posted by arcticwoman at 1:08 PM on November 22, 2006
I thought parthenogentic offspring were female (twin of the mother)?
Where does the boy-chromosome come from?
posted by ottereroticist at 2:05 PM on November 22, 2006
Where does the boy-chromosome come from?
posted by ottereroticist at 2:05 PM on November 22, 2006
This post is too US-centric.
The Turks might disagree.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:35 PM on November 22, 2006
The Turks might disagree.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:35 PM on November 22, 2006
I loved elephant day.
Me too, but it's impossible to fit all the leftovers in the fridge and you can only eat so many elephant sandwiches.
MetaFilter: often sickly, and nearly always male.
Bwahahaha
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:40 PM on November 22, 2006
Me too, but it's impossible to fit all the leftovers in the fridge and you can only eat so many elephant sandwiches.
MetaFilter: often sickly, and nearly always male.
Bwahahaha
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:40 PM on November 22, 2006
"Poults" is some sort of Godless metric name, isn't it, Frenchie?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:09 PM PST on November 22
This will have me laughing helplessly every time I think of it for the rest of the day.
posted by diddlegnome at 3:51 PM on November 22, 2006
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:09 PM PST on November 22
This will have me laughing helplessly every time I think of it for the rest of the day.
posted by diddlegnome at 3:51 PM on November 22, 2006
The individual produced is often sickly
As God is my witness, I thought turkeys were spry.
posted by eriko at 5:28 PM on November 22, 2006
As God is my witness, I thought turkeys were spry.
posted by eriko at 5:28 PM on November 22, 2006
I predict that this year’s seasonal culinary sensation will be the Whalepheasantelopenfant. ...
posted by amberglow at 5:33 PM on November 22, 2006
posted by amberglow at 5:33 PM on November 22, 2006
run, turkey, run!
(damn, i miss the img tag)
posted by pyramid termite at 6:06 PM on November 22, 2006
(damn, i miss the img tag)
posted by pyramid termite at 6:06 PM on November 22, 2006
I thought parthenogentic offspring were female (twin of the mother)?
Where does the boy-chromosome come from?
posted by ottereroticist
Honeybee drones are born from unfertilized eggs and are all male. I don't get all the logistics but they only have half the original number of chromosomes. Meiosis and all that.
I've founded a new holiday celebrated by the eating of often sickly, and nearly always male MetaFlesh. Happy Snarksgiving!
posted by bobobox at 6:55 PM on November 22, 2006
Where does the boy-chromosome come from?
posted by ottereroticist
Honeybee drones are born from unfertilized eggs and are all male. I don't get all the logistics but they only have half the original number of chromosomes. Meiosis and all that.
I've founded a new holiday celebrated by the eating of often sickly, and nearly always male MetaFlesh. Happy Snarksgiving!
posted by bobobox at 6:55 PM on November 22, 2006
I celebrate by giving yuppies pox infested scented candles in gentrified downtown.
posted by evil holiday magic at 8:42 PM on November 22, 2006
posted by evil holiday magic at 8:42 PM on November 22, 2006
Snarksgiving seconded!! Henceforth indeed on 3rd Hump Day of November!!!
Let us now hunt this year's nobly-feathered snarkey, for next Snarksgiving we shall have one pre-fattened! Indeed!
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:46 PM on November 22, 2006
Let us now hunt this year's nobly-feathered snarkey, for next Snarksgiving we shall have one pre-fattened! Indeed!
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:46 PM on November 22, 2006
You may scoff at Wikipedia, but Cecil says it's true, too.
Also, this (some sort of Ohio State/4-H thing...I guess they know from farming) explains the males only thing:
Also, this (some sort of Ohio State/4-H thing...I guess they know from farming) explains the males only thing:
[S]ome 8% of the embryos (200) hatched in the final year of selection, all were males. [...] In birds females are the heterogametic sex (ZW) and males are the homogametic sex (ZZ), this is the opposite of mammals. WW parthenotes would not develop as this condition is not viable.posted by Chrysostom at 9:22 PM on November 22, 2006
What shall be our cranberry sauce while dining on the gloriously plumed pre-fattened snarkey? Canned gelatinous hubris? With strawman stuffing? Oh, please! I love to gobble the gobble gobble google.
posted by bobobox at 11:14 PM on November 22, 2006
posted by bobobox at 11:14 PM on November 22, 2006
boo_radley writes "Turkeys are notable for their ability, rare amongst higher species, to reproduce asexually."
I wonder how hard it was for the author of that section to keep it from being deleted. It just sounds so much like something from Look Around You.
posted by concrete at 1:05 AM on November 23, 2006
I wonder how hard it was for the author of that section to keep it from being deleted. It just sounds so much like something from Look Around You.
posted by concrete at 1:05 AM on November 23, 2006
American Thanksgiving is a two-day secular festival when people in business locations outside of the US are thankful for all the canceled teleconferences with Americans they would otherwise have been scheduled to endure that Thursday and Friday. The images of grotesquely overstuffed flightless birds with the dangling neck skin and gaudy plumage are just... reminders.
Mmm. This crankberry sauce is snarkalicious.
posted by pracowity at 1:35 AM on November 23, 2006
Mmm. This crankberry sauce is snarkalicious.
posted by pracowity at 1:35 AM on November 23, 2006
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posted by tkolar at 10:02 AM on November 22, 2006