We give smoking advice to minors. January 25, 2007 3:00 PM   Subscribe


Not that there is anything wrong with that. It's just interesting.
posted by bigmusic at 3:01 PM on January 25, 2007


Well, as long as we aren't misogynistic about it...
posted by cortex at 3:05 PM on January 25, 2007


If you don't think there is anything wrong with it, why is this in MetaTalk?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:05 PM on January 25, 2007


Because her parents are strict mother effers, apparently, and they'll call the cops on us.
posted by Dave Faris at 3:09 PM on January 25, 2007


Smoke up, Johnny! /bender
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:10 PM on January 25, 2007


Uh, the smoking post is from September, the post where she reveals she is a minor is from today. Were we supposed to somehow divine her underagedness by seeing into the future?
posted by quin at 3:10 PM on January 25, 2007


Well, there's also this question, which in retrospect looks like HypotheticalFilter. Burn her!

Or, you know, we could give her the benefit of the doubt.
posted by muddgirl at 3:13 PM on January 25, 2007


I say we ground her.
posted by Dave Faris at 3:14 PM on January 25, 2007


SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Quitting Reading MetaFilter Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health.
posted by matteo at 3:17 PM on January 25, 2007 [3 favorites]


the cigarette question came first, then five months later, there was the ZOMG MINOR post. The first post really didn't indicate her age, so it seems reasonable to conclude she was of age.

What do you hope to achieve here?
posted by boo_radley at 3:24 PM on January 25, 2007


Oh please. Askme has given advice on how to dispose of a body without getting caught.

If that and the very specific advice given wasn't deleted then some minor getting smoking advice ain't going nowhere.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:26 PM on January 25, 2007


I hope she doesn't get to poking around and find that poosex one. The ideas kids could get from here...man.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 3:26 PM on January 25, 2007


"It's just interesting" suggest that bigmusic might not be trying to achieve anything in particular. Silly one-off observation, I guess. No harm, no foul, though such a busy (and in places contentious) day on the grey may not be the best soil in which for it to sprout.
posted by cortex at 3:28 PM on January 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


What do you hope to achieve here?

A general sense of well-being and one-ness with all living creatures.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 3:30 PM on January 25, 2007


I'm more interested about what her honeymoon question was asked for.
posted by liquorice at 3:31 PM on January 25, 2007


and a jelly donut in every hand.
posted by blue_beetle at 3:32 PM on January 25, 2007


"What is an average (even slightly conservative) weekday/weeknight bedtime/curfew for a 17 year old female high school senior?"

Wow, I read that as asavage. I got all excited, thinking that someone might mention Kari. Guess I better pull my pants back up.
posted by Eideteker at 3:36 PM on January 25, 2007


Wow, I read that as asavage.

Hey, now, that's just mean.
posted by cortex at 3:38 PM on January 25, 2007


We're going to have to add one of those "take a number" things to metatalk soon if this pace keeps up.
posted by Rhomboid at 3:48 PM on January 25, 2007


Hey we give SMOKIN'!!!! advice to everybody
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 3:52 PM on January 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


We also give medical advice to idiots.
posted by Cyrano at 4:00 PM on January 25, 2007 [2 favorites]


That is one smokin' bit of jailbait!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:00 PM on January 25, 2007


If you don't think there is anything wrong with it, why is this in MetaTalk?

Sorry, I didn't feel it would be appropriate to talk about it in the curfew thread. I mean if she is going out and smoking and doing god knows what else, maybe her parents have a right to be concerned about her and give her an earlier curfew.
posted by bigmusic at 4:06 PM on January 25, 2007


I'm not saying anything to anybody who can't prove s/he's Of Legal Age in his/her locality.
posted by davy at 4:07 PM on January 25, 2007


No one could tell from the first question that she was underage? Smoking cloves immediately outs you as either a high schooler or a pretentious douche, and likely both.
posted by klangklangston at 4:09 PM on January 25, 2007 [2 favorites]


Are you saying there are high schoolers who aren't pretentious douches?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:11 PM on January 25, 2007


I'm just glad Glitter Ninja has realized that the only way to be popular in high school and college is to smoke.
posted by bardic at 4:12 PM on January 25, 2007


Oh, and to put out.
posted by bardic at 4:13 PM on January 25, 2007


*looks at clove*
*looks at klang*
*looks at clove*

Fuck it. I've always wanted to be an artist type anyway.
posted by cortex at 4:14 PM on January 25, 2007


I'm just glad Glitter Ninja has realized that the only way to be popular in high school and college is to smoke. Oh, and to put out.

Shhhh... don't mention the heroin!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:16 PM on January 25, 2007


People who smoke cloves are pretty bad, but man, lots of assholes smoke American Spirits too. It's still lung cancer, but it's all natural lung cancer, dood.
posted by bardic at 4:16 PM on January 25, 2007


I'm just glad Glitter Ninja has realized that the only way to be popular in high school is to seek the advice of anonymous geeks on the Internet.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:17 PM on January 25, 2007 [2 favorites]


How many teenagers commute between Toronto and South Carolina anyways?
posted by bardic at 4:19 PM on January 25, 2007


There's only one possible explanation for this:

dhoyt's fucking with us again, isn't he?
posted by Cyrano at 4:37 PM on January 25, 2007


I wish I had a curfew of 9PM.
posted by yeti at 4:39 PM on January 25, 2007


klangklangston writes "Smoking cloves immediately outs you as either a high schooler or a pretentious douche, and likely both."

Or, y'know, as someone who occasionally enjoys the taste.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 4:57 PM on January 25, 2007


You know pretty much everybody (and their dogs and babies) smoke kretek (clove and tobacco cigarettes) in Indonesia, right?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:00 PM on January 25, 2007


We also give medical advice to idiots.
posted by lekvar at 5:05 PM on January 25, 2007


If you don't think there is anything wrong with it, why is this in MetaTalk?

Oh! Oh! Oh! ME! ME! {waves hand}
posted by Saucy Intruder at 5:10 PM on January 25, 2007


Saucy?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:23 PM on January 25, 2007


I'm just impressed that a 17 year old who doesn't know where to find cigarettes while commuting between South Carolina and Toronto is able to circumvent her 8:00 curfew enough to get engaged and plan a honeymoon.

And all while learning to play the theremin.

But then, maybe the honeymoon was actually going to be in London, Ontario.
posted by JekPorkins at 5:26 PM on January 25, 2007


Oops. I spoke out of turn. I'll sit in the corner now.
posted by JekPorkins at 5:28 PM on January 25, 2007


"You know pretty much everybody (and their dogs and babies) smoke kretek (clove and tobacco cigarettes) in Indonesia, right?"

It's entirely possible for an entire country to be trying just a little too hard to be different.

'No, you're thinking of Malaysia. We're the ones that smoke cloves and write poetry about ravens.'
posted by klangklangston at 5:39 PM on January 25, 2007


I mean if she is going out and smoking and doing god knows what else, maybe her parents have a right to be concerned about her and give her an earlier curfew.
(emphasis for hilarity mine)

I just didn't want anyone to miss that.
posted by atrazine at 5:46 PM on January 25, 2007


"Smoking cloves immediately outs you as either a high schooler or a pretentious douche, and likely both."

Or, y'know, as someone who occasionally enjoys the taste.


Or someone who deeply wishes to be a baked ham.
posted by jonmc at 5:47 PM on January 25, 2007 [3 favorites]


We also give medical advice to idiots.
posted by Kwine at 5:50 PM on January 25, 2007


I can't believe there are 17yr olds out there with bedtimes. That's just all types of crazy.
posted by nixerman at 5:56 PM on January 25, 2007


Her self-description:

a well-behaved, responsible high school senior who gets good grades, participates in regular extracurricular activities, and as a rule, makes good choices

I'm sorry, hon, but "smoking nothing but Camel Wide Menthols" is not a good choice.
posted by scarabic at 6:39 PM on January 25, 2007


This is one of the best call outs EVER.
posted by k8t at 6:50 PM on January 25, 2007


She also flunked out of high school.
posted by logic vs love at 6:57 PM on January 25, 2007


Now I regret emailing her that advice about weed.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:58 PM on January 25, 2007


I'm pretty sure she has a time machine. Today she's a good girl with strict parents. But a month ago she had already dropped out because of her strict parents. Maybe she experiences time in reverse, like Merlin.

I'm betting that somewhere she has a blog with a post from 5 or 6 years ago about how great her London honeymoon was.
posted by JekPorkins at 7:04 PM on January 25, 2007


Is someone going to link to this from the current question?
posted by k8t at 7:09 PM on January 25, 2007




Wow, that's a lot to get done by curfew!
posted by OmieWise at 7:33 PM on January 25, 2007


Unless you think she's lying/ a troll, I don't think it's very cool to pick apart a person's entire posting history here.

Besides, she's 17. Give the girl a break.
posted by Brittanie at 7:38 PM on January 25, 2007


Unless you think she's lying/ a troll, I don't think it's very cool to pick apart a person's entire posting history here.

She is quite clearly lying.
posted by JekPorkins at 7:45 PM on January 25, 2007


Lying about what — that she's a good girl who deserves to stay out past 10 p.m.?
posted by Brittanie at 7:50 PM on January 25, 2007


Hey, look closely people- the person posting about failing out of school is Glitter Ninja. We're talking about GlitterNinja.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:59 PM on January 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


Brittanie, she has said in one post that she dropped out of high school, and in another post that she is a high school senior with good grades.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 8:00 PM on January 25, 2007


Brittanie, she has said in one post that she dropped out of high school, and in another post that she is a high school senior with good grades.

Again, look at the names- two separate accounts.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:02 PM on January 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


Maybe her parents have set such a strict curfew because they want to prevent her from leaving the country for her honeymoon.
posted by amyms at 8:03 PM on January 25, 2007


No, we're not?

What has her being 17 got anything to do with giving her a break?
posted by liquorice at 8:03 PM on January 25, 2007


I don't think she's lying. I think she's 17.

Do any of you REMEMBER being 17? Try and make your insular universe even smaller and instead of worrying about your job and rent, realize that you're worrying about your grades and your curfew and your acne and that boy who talked to you once and who are you going to take the prom? It sounds shallow, but these are the things that I know I was truly worrying, if not obsessing, about at 17.

At 17, it's also almost impossible to detach yourself enough from your own ego realize that maybe, just maybe, if you're smoking and underage, perhaps there are reasons your parents don't trust you enough to stay out late.

This is so obvious to us now, but we have the benefit of time, experience, and probably, booze.

But y'know, these kids. Our lawn. Etc.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:04 PM on January 25, 2007


Oops, muddgirl already had the honeymoon link upthread...

*grabs some popcorn, because this is getting very very interesting*
posted by amyms at 8:05 PM on January 25, 2007


Well, yes I would remember being 17 since I was that age last year.

(Snap!)
posted by liquorice at 8:06 PM on January 25, 2007


Huh, I stand corrected- looks like it is the same accounts. Very odd.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:06 PM on January 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


Also, not only smoking but getting secretly engaged and dropping out of school. Those crazy kids! What will they do next?
posted by liquorice at 8:07 PM on January 25, 2007


I don't think the honeymoon thread is that weird, though- read the question. The poster says, my sweetie promises they'll take me wherever I want to go, but we have no wedding date. That could line up with a high school couple, dreaming of what life will be like when they get married. I know I did it; I have the overly dramatic cheesy journals of my high school years to prove it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:08 PM on January 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


smoke 'em if ya got 'em!
posted by brandz at 8:10 PM on January 25, 2007


That could line up with a high school couple

But she doesn't mention a boyfriend in the curfew thread, and that would seem to be a pretty big factor to mention if she's wanting to negotiate with her parents for a later curfew.
posted by amyms at 8:11 PM on January 25, 2007


Or having a boyfriend would hurt the myth of "perfect child with unreasonable parents." 17 year olds, by and large, view the world as black and white and like to make everything fit in those boxes.
posted by k8t at 8:15 PM on January 25, 2007


I'm 45, living on my own and have a self-imposed bedtime of 10:30 pm....
posted by JujuB at 8:18 PM on January 25, 2007


Back in October, she said that high school was "a few years ago" for her.

Was she lying then, or is she lying about her age?
posted by JekPorkins at 8:20 PM on January 25, 2007


She did say that she was in adult ed now... maybe that meant "high school was a few years ago for me"?
posted by k8t at 8:24 PM on January 25, 2007


Well, yes I would remember being 17 since I was that age last year.

Excuse me. I believe you're on my lawn.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:24 PM on January 25, 2007


You told me you'd pay me 5 bucks if I mowed it!
posted by liquorice at 8:26 PM on January 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


What Brittanie said; unless her history indicates she's using AskMe to pull an airnxtz, it's no one's fucking business who she 'really' is and what she's doing.

You don't trust her?
Fine, flag her questions if they violate the guidelines and, like the old consumer cliche, vote with your feet.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:28 PM on January 25, 2007


You don't trust her?
Fine, flag her questions if they violate the guidelines and, like the old consumer cliche, vote with your feet.


But then we won't get to wear our Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys hats while watching the mystery unfold.
posted by amyms at 8:32 PM on January 25, 2007


I'm genuinely curious, why is it none of our business, Alvy? (No snark intended)
posted by liquorice at 8:34 PM on January 25, 2007


What has her being 17 got anything to do with giving her a break?

I agree with the following answers:

k8t:
17 year olds, by and large, view the world as black and white and like to make everything fit in those boxes.

grapefruitmoon:
I don't think she's lying. I think she's 17.

That's why we should give her a break. And I'm not saying it's none of our business, I'm just saying we don't need to go all dog poop girl on her.
posted by Brittanie at 8:42 PM on January 25, 2007


I think those answers just do a disservice to 17 year olds. Which is why I don't think she should be given a break, because she seems to be a coherent, well-thought out woman (although maybe lying through her teeth) and there's no reason she should be given any different treatment that we would do a 30 year old "adult".

17 is just a number, she should be judged on the character she's presenting not the amount of years she's been alive for.
posted by liquorice at 8:49 PM on January 25, 2007


It's pretty easy to think of an innocuous way to tie everything together -- even the inconsistencies. We should probably give her a break.

I started putting together the pieces into a plausible story, but it wasn't a terribly happy one, and posting a patched-together possible story might be fun when it seems like total lies, but it's creepy if the puzzle pieces add up to something real but slightly distorted.

I am curious how she learned so much about piercing/stretching shops in NYC, though.
posted by JekPorkins at 8:51 PM on January 25, 2007


Would you enjoy people picking apart your questions and mocking you, liquorice?

Even if there is a discrepancy between what's said in AskMe #1 and AskMe #2, who cares? Like I said, her history doesn't show anything that indicates she's abusing the site, and doesn't warrant scrutiny and derision. If she's sees this MeTa and is sincere, odds are that she'll be embarrassed. If she's fabricating, how are Matt or Jess supposed to verify that these personal AskMes are being posted in bad faith? It's pointless.

I know that some folks disagree, but I believe this kind of stupidity hurts the site as both a resource and a community. MeTa shouldn't be a place where members go to laugh at others behind their backs.

That's why God made IRC.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:53 PM on January 25, 2007


According to the adult ed/flunking posts, her parents are none the wiser about her school status. Makes sense that she is (less than honestly) presenting herself as the squeeky clean, good grade getting high schooler because (as far as she assumes) that is what she is in her parents eyes. If her parents knew they had a reason to treat her like a 10 year old, then the curfew, etc. makes sense. But since she thinks they don't know they have a reason not to trust her . . .

Wouldn't it be funny if her parents are more hip than she things and they know about her clove cigs, adult ed, etc. and their strictly imposed curfews ARE a reaction/punishment to these things?

As for her saying high school was a couple years ago, eh, I remember being 17 (oh to be 17 again) and trying to pass myself off as older and not in high school.

OR

she is just batshit insane with multiple personalities.
posted by necessitas at 8:59 PM on January 25, 2007


OR

Several people share the glitter ninja account
posted by necessitas at 9:00 PM on January 25, 2007


Which is why I don't think she should be given a break, because she seems to be a coherent, well-thought out woman (although maybe lying through her teeth) and there's no reason she should be given any different treatment that we would do a 30 year old "adult".

See, here's where I have the problem For me, it's either "Oh, she's not lying. She's inconsistent because she's young and hasn't started eating her old-man vitamins yet" OR it's "Wow. She's lying her head off. What an ass."

I would like to think that the former position would be preferred in that I'm giving the girl a break and not accusing her of anything premeditated and/or stupid.

But I'd be happy to go all old-school (so to speak) on her ass, if you prefer.

(You're gonna have to wait until tomorrow for your five bucks. My pension hasn't come in the mail yet.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:06 PM on January 25, 2007


That's why we should give her a break.

Erm. Wasn't that what I was advocating for? Damn this senility.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:07 PM on January 25, 2007


I was self-conscious about my age at 17, and would lie all the time about it, unless it was to my advantage to be truthful. I'd drop random comments all the time like, "Oh, high school was a few years ago for me." I thought people would take me more seriously if they thought I wasn't a teenager, and I was usually right. My theory is that in some of these questions, especially those dealing with cigarettes and so forth, she's just trying to get people to treat her as an equal, instead of dismissing her as a teenager. She's obviously overcompensating in some ways (offering her age when it isn't necessary), but her comments read as an intelligent person who doesn't want to get pigeon-holed into the "stupid teenager" stereotype.

Or several people share the account. Or it doesn't matter. Either way.
posted by Zosia Blue at 9:11 PM on January 25, 2007


Brittanie, she has said in one post that she dropped out of high school, and in another post that she is a high school senior with good grades.

There's no mystery here. She secretly dropped out of traditional high school, and then enrolled herself in one of the many public "alternative" or "adult ed" schools that exist to allow people like her to study for a G.E.D. or finish high school. Many school districts have such options (my mother in law teaches in one of those alternative school programs). So, she may be correct in identifying herself as a high school senior --- she's just not at a traditional high school.

When she said high school was a few years ago, she means, the traditional high school she attended.
posted by jayder at 9:17 PM on January 25, 2007


OR

Maybe she doesn't use the decimal system for counting, and uses some sort of new math.
posted by stovenator at 9:21 PM on January 25, 2007


When she said high school was a few years ago, she means, the traditional high school she attended.

I know I said we should give her a break -- and we should -- but she says she's 17 and dropped out after 11th grade. 11th grade isn't a few years before 17 years old, unless she was a huge overachiever before suddenly flunking out (which isn't impossible, I guess -- but let's not just imagine that she was in 11th grade and smoking menthols at 14 years old, then spent 3 years as a senior).

There are certainly lies among the posts -- but it's the internet, and she's (we assume) 17 years old. It's ok for her story not to totally add up. The boyfriend promising a honeymoon in London? If he's in college (at Baylor, she implies) promises like that to a h.s. girl are par for the course.
posted by JekPorkins at 9:23 PM on January 25, 2007


I don't like her because I am (exactly fucking!) twice as old as her. Don't trust anyone under 30, dammit.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 9:29 PM on January 25, 2007


I'm sorry, but at this point I have to ask the obvious question; why are we digging into this? She hasn't broken any rules, her posts are on topic, she comments more than she queries, I haven't seen anything that looks like spam or self linking, and she hasn't directly offended anyone (OK, other than CPH, but that was probably unintentional, and thus forgivable.)

I usually like these threads because they start off all kinds of serious, and devolve in to silliness. But this took a strange turn where people started pulling apart her posting history trying to ascertain what the deal was.

And here's the thing, we shouldn't care. Honestly, I have no dog in this fight. I don't care if she is 17 or 87. She appears to be an upstanding member of our site, (hell her Favorites to comments ratio kicks the hell out of mine, so by that metric, she is a better member than me. *sobs*)

Point is, why are we dwelling on this? She hasn't done anything wrong, apart from having a history that might-not-match-up-if-you-connect-the-dots-and-cross-your-eyes.

I pray that no one ever uses those standards on my posts, because if picked apart, I'll look like a drunken psychopathic misanthrope that has a weird obsession with cannibalism (courtesy of Astro Zombie and our blood feud - which he is totally unaware of), guns, lyrics, taking over the world with penguins, photography, and animal care.

Based on this, I am probably a monster who needs to be put down.

But the chick that is the focus of this post needs to be left the hell alone.

Seriously.
posted by quin at 10:05 PM on January 25, 2007


"But the chick that is the focus of this post needs to be left the hell alone."
posted by ericb at 10:12 PM on January 25, 2007


Would you enjoy people picking apart your questions and mocking you, liquorice?

I'm still on MetaFilter, right? I expected no less from this place when I signed up. You guys have a reputation to keep up!

Okay, I just want to be part of one of your detective adventures where you use your wizz-bang skills to crack sock puppetry and crazy websites related to skiing.
posted by liquorice at 10:14 PM on January 25, 2007


But this took a strange turn where people started pulling apart her posting history trying to ascertain what the deal was. . . Point is, why are we dwelling on this? She hasn't done anything wrong, apart from having a history that might-not-match-up-if-you-connect-the-dots-and-cross-your-eyes.


Sure, she is no Kaycee Nicole. However, nobody wants to be lied to, especially when ask.me invites you to become somewhat invested in people's issues. Also, nobody wants their time wasted. If she isn't as she presented herself in the question then all those well thought out answers were a waste of time.
posted by necessitas at 10:24 PM on January 25, 2007


Ok, I admit it, I am not really a chunky machinist in his 40's, I am really a naturally blond 18 year old Japanese girl who lives in your basement. And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you damn kids and your dog.
Oh and what quin said too.
posted by Iron Rat at 10:28 PM on January 25, 2007


ok ... it's time ... i am really not a bug and i don't really live in a pyramid

whew ... i'm glad i've got that off my chest
posted by pyramid termite at 10:38 PM on January 25, 2007


Well put, quin.

necessitas: Do you have proof she is lying?
Like I said, if you think she's bogus and not worth your time and responses, then don't answer her questions. Simple. Sometimes inaction can be just as effective as action. But unless you have proof that she's not acting in good faith, you have no right to call her a liar.

Matt and Jess aren't complete idiots and have been doing this for a while; if there's a reason for them to be concerned, I'm pretty sure they're capable of identifying andaddressing it without the choir of the self-righteous screaming from the gallery.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:39 PM on January 25, 2007


necessitas: Do you have proof she is lying?

Woah! No, I don't think she is a liar. I think she is a typical 17 year old with typical teenage issues and typical teenage defense mechanisms about how she presents her age in non high school situations. I pointed that out in a reply earlier.

I was simply trying to help quin make sense of why people were interested in picking apart glitter ninja's story. I didn't mean that I thought she was lying, I just meant that people are more sensitive about the possibility when things like ask.me do make you more invested and do make you spend a lot of time thinking about someone's situation. In no way did I mean the comment to speak for my opinions about glitter ninja, I was just making a suggestion about why this thread turned out the way it did.
posted by necessitas at 10:46 PM on January 25, 2007


What bugs me in this more than anything is that Askme could provide some very good answers for her situation - if only she'd tell us exactly what her situation was. What's the point in asking a question if you're going to smooth over some of the details? The big deal is not in "lying" per se, but rather in wasting everyone's time - her's included.
posted by Iamtherealme at 12:37 AM on January 26, 2007


quin: Only problem is the question itself. If you pair "Where can I get smokes?" with "Why don't my parents trust me? They're so unreasonable!" You get "Ummmmm. Yeah."

If I had been smoking *anything* on a regular basis at seventeen, my mother wouldn't have let me outside the house unless she was personally there to slap me in the face if I so much as thought of lighting up. It's the nature of parenthood.

I'm not out to condemn the girl, I think she's doing her best to honestly represent herself. I was certainly conflicted - at best - at seventeen. But at the same time, her questions are hard to answer because she represents herself as an ideal child, where that's probably not the case.

If she was asking "How do I use penguins to take over the world?" I don't think any of us would have any objection whatsoever. I hope she does, that would be totally awesome.

Iamtherealme hit the nail on the head: it doesn't matter that she's lying, it matters that she's making it impossible for anyone to give her any solid advice because we don't know what the situation REALLY is.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:56 AM on January 26, 2007


I really am a piece of citrus orbiting the earth.

And I totally saw what you did there.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:57 AM on January 26, 2007


stavrosthewonderchicken : "You know pretty much everybody (and their dogs and babies) smoke kretek (clove and tobacco cigarettes) in Indonesia, right?"

C'mon, you know "Indonesian" is pretty much synonymous with "pretentious". You think it's coincidence that Andy Warhol and Basquiat were both Indonesian?
posted by Bugbread at 1:34 AM on January 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


I mean if she is going out and smoking and doing god knows what else, maybe her parents have a right to be concerned about her and give her an earlier curfew.

Isn't she in Canada? That makes her aprox 1 year away from legally being able to smoke, and 3 years over the age of consent for sex. Her parents don't really have any rights and based on their highly unreasonable curfew they're well aware of that. They're grasping to hang on to a childhood that's already over.
posted by zarah at 2:54 AM on January 26, 2007


I love how even the most pointless of Metatalk callouts can turn into the weirdest unravelings of intrigue in posting histories, even without any flameouts from the callouter/calloutee.
posted by blasdelf at 3:47 AM on January 26, 2007


I am surprised to learn that people consider smoking grounds for an early bedtime. Hmmm. Now I know.
posted by miss tea at 5:14 AM on January 26, 2007


I give minor advice to smokers.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 5:24 AM on January 26, 2007


I thought maybe I'd make a comment here.

Sorry, I didn't feel it would be appropriate to talk about it in the curfew thread. I mean if she is going out and smoking and doing god knows what else, maybe her parents have a right to be concerned about her and give her an earlier curfew.

There is no "god knows what else". I'll smoke cigarettes, and that's about the only thing I'll do. I am generally a very good kid. :P

Also, in regards to the, uh, honeymoon thread.

C'mon, what little girl hasn't dreamed of running away with her programmer boyfriend once she turns 18, eloping, and having a romantic honeymoon overseas?

Okay, maybe just me, but still. It was a moment of brief insantiy. (Very, very, highly infatuated brief.)
posted by Glitter Ninja at 6:04 AM on January 26, 2007


Sure, she is no Kaycee Nicole. However, nobody wants to be lied to, especially when ask.me invites you to become somewhat invested in people's issues. Also, nobody wants their time wasted. If she isn't as she presented herself in the question then all those well thought out answers were a waste of time.


Also, for the other record, I *am* a 17 year old female living in Columbia, SC. Birthdate 9/16/89.
posted by Glitter Ninja at 6:06 AM on January 26, 2007


I give advice on minoring in smoking. It's a smooth, flavorable pleasure to be tenured at Phillip Morris University.
posted by cortex at 6:10 AM on January 26, 2007


She also flunked out of high school.

Extenuating circumstances. If one is absent for large periods of time due to sickness, with the SC school system, you HAVE to have a doctor's note. At times when my self-employed family's health insurance was at best, spotty, that wasn't always possible, and doctor's visits were for an absolute emergency.

My grades in my current program (where I moved after realizing I was just sick too much for standard, public high school), however, are excellent.

It kind of amuses me that no one just tried asking me the explanations for all my other posts, and instead tried to debate them here.
posted by Glitter Ninja at 6:11 AM on January 26, 2007


According to the adult ed/flunking posts, her parents are none the wiser about her school status.

I really ought to read thoroughly before I respond. My parents have since been notified of my intentions to change to the adult ed program, and pretty much had to accept it if they wanted me to go to college with my peers (which is what I wanted to do).
posted by Glitter Ninja at 6:15 AM on January 26, 2007


Back in October, she said that high school was "a few years ago" for her.

Was she lying then, or is she lying about her age?



Ouch, outed. Lying then.


Also, boyfriend = gone. Went back to his ex. There's your explanation for no mention of him in my curfew thread: he was a jackass, and a part of what I'd like to consider just history.
posted by Glitter Ninja at 6:23 AM on January 26, 2007


It kind of amuses me that no one just tried asking me the explanations for all my other posts, and instead tried to debate them here.

Read through the Metatalk archives. It may still amuse you, but any shred of surprise implicit therein will be gone. Examing posting histories for key info and incriminating data is kind of a hobbyist detective tradition when dander gets up.
posted by cortex at 6:26 AM on January 26, 2007


Hey, can I be your new programmer boyfriend? I smoke Winstons but am willing to change.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 6:30 AM on January 26, 2007


Examing posting histories for key info and incriminating data is kind of a hobbyist detective tradition when dander gets up.

As it apparently has done. I suppose I ought to, for the record, that this was for a close friend of mine, so you don't all drag that in to the mix. (Thought it's also stated in that thread.)
posted by Glitter Ninja at 6:34 AM on January 26, 2007


I am curious how she learned so much about piercing/stretching shops in NYC, though.

Several years reading BMEzine and being a part of the iam community.
posted by Glitter Ninja at 6:38 AM on January 26, 2007


What quin said. Don't you people have better things to do? Hint: my lawn needs mowing.

And Glitter Ninja, you've shown far more patience, forbearance, and good humor in dealing with these impertinent questions than half the so-called adults around here. Good for you, and may you find a better boyfriend!
posted by languagehat at 6:43 AM on January 26, 2007


I'm just glad I finally found out that Edgar Allen Poe was probably Malaysian. I had no idea.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:44 AM on January 26, 2007


languagehat: Thanks for the compliments. In this situation, I suppose I could flame or freak out at everyone, but I'd rather present myself much more rationally and give people the answers they're looking for.

And as for the boyfriend: Thanks, I have. He's flying in from Reno next saturday. :3

Also: Poe was Malaysian?
posted by Glitter Ninja at 6:47 AM on January 26, 2007


Damn!
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 6:48 AM on January 26, 2007


Also: Poe was Malaysian?

So it would seem.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:55 AM on January 26, 2007


Poe was just pretending to be Malaysian to be cool, clearly.
posted by cortex at 6:59 AM on January 26, 2007


Well, I was born in Malaysia and I'm sitting just about a mile from Poe's grave right this very minute. I'm not sure what that says about the whole thing, but I'm willing to put it out there.
posted by OmieWise at 7:07 AM on January 26, 2007


"If he's in college (at Baylor, she implies) promises like that to a h.s. girl are par for the course."

'It's OK, baby, I just need to put the tip in. After that, let's go to London and live happily ever after.'
posted by klangklangston at 7:25 AM on January 26, 2007


And now, I've leaned that OmieWise is willing to put it out there. What next?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:28 AM on January 26, 2007


Well, now I guess we know what time the Columbia, SC meetup is going to end...
posted by 1f2frfbf at 7:33 AM on January 26, 2007


Yes ericb, my using the term 'chick' is just like as if I had called her a 'whore' or a 'bitch'.

*rolls eyes*

Glitter Ninja, if in reading this thread, that particular part of my comment was the thing that caused you offense, you let me know and I will apologize to you right here and right now.
posted by quin at 7:47 AM on January 26, 2007


Haha, threads like this rock my socks off. I guess I'm technically an "old person" now, but I used to lie about my age all the time when I was a 15-16 year old internet user (I'd usually say I was 17 or 18, which seemed like a big difference at the time). Looking forward to the day when the Mefi Encyclopedia Brown League uses my posting history to determine that I'm really a 36 year old welsh banker who's cheating on his wife, or something.
posted by muddgirl at 8:01 AM on January 26, 2007


quin, I think he was kidding
posted by cortex at 8:04 AM on January 26, 2007


Fair enough, I just woke up and my snark meter is probably way off.
posted by quin at 8:11 AM on January 26, 2007


I *am* a 17 year old female living in Columbia, SC. Birthdate

glitter ninja, i think you should avoid posting information like your exact birthdate on the net ... that could be enough for someone to learn your real name

perhaps if you emailed matt, he might take that out for you
posted by pyramid termite at 8:13 AM on January 26, 2007


Who was that poster who did the insane amounts of research on individual posters' backgrounds based on all their comments here? I'm sure he would have solved this caper in a jiffy, but I can't remember his name.
posted by Bugbread at 8:24 AM on January 26, 2007


Well that was kind of uneventful. Anybody want to flameout?
posted by Big_B at 8:27 AM on January 26, 2007


it was tamim, bugbread.
posted by cortex at 8:28 AM on January 26, 2007


Here's the the day everyone became terrified of tamim and realized that they were revealing TMI on Metafilter and MetaTalk ;) Scroll down to here for a bit of tamim's scoobying, but it's more fun to read the whole thread. rcade then reverses the tables and does some detective work on tamim.
posted by iconomy at 8:36 AM on January 26, 2007


What next? I asked.

This:
I'm really a 36 year old welsh banker who's cheating on his wife, or something.
posted by muddgirl


This thread is a real education.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:46 AM on January 26, 2007


Thanks, cortex and iconomy.
posted by Bugbread at 8:48 AM on January 26, 2007


thomcatspike=Jandek
posted by OmieWise at 9:01 AM on January 26, 2007


i am really not a bug and i don't really live in a pyramid

I am not actually a Culture warship. I am neither conical nor hundreds of meters long.

Except during sleep. That's when I'm a (space) Viking!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:45 AM on January 26, 2007


I haven't got any nervous tissue. I'm an incorporeal being of pure energy.

Okay, impure energy.
posted by cortex at 9:48 AM on January 26, 2007


Who was that poster who did the insane amounts of research on individual posters' backgrounds based on all their comments here? I'm sure he would have solved this caper in a jiffy, but I can't remember his name.

ori?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:49 AM on January 26, 2007


Alvy, you are the living end.
posted by cortex at 9:51 AM on January 26, 2007


AAwesome!
posted by OmieWise at 10:07 AM on January 26, 2007


I have a confession.
I lied about my age last night in the MeCha IRC. I'm 18. Not 19. I figured I'd round up three months.

I'm also not particularly fanatical about citrus fruits. I mean, don't get me wrong, they're GREAT, but I don't obsess.
I'm sorry if I've misrepresented myself.

Also, a hearty "lol" at the people here who generalized about how 17 year olds see the world.

Represent, liquorice. ::raises fist::
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:48 AM on January 26, 2007


Smoking cigarettes = basis for early curfew? I don't get it.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 12:25 PM on January 26, 2007


Assuming the parents say "no smoking" and the kid says "yes smoking" and the parents consider curfew a way of discouraging willful misbehavior, it's pretty self-explanatory. Effective? Sensible? I dunno.
posted by cortex at 12:31 PM on January 26, 2007


The curfew is obviously an attempt to stop her from keeping the neighbors awake with her confounded Theremin.

(and smoking menthols is probably a reasonable basis for an early curfew, yes)
posted by JekPorkins at 12:33 PM on January 26, 2007


*comes in*

*represents*

*leaves*
posted by liquorice at 1:00 PM on January 26, 2007


heh, liquorice has teh funnae!

Was she lying then, or is she lying about her age?

Ouch, outed. Lying then

I used to lie about my age all the time when I was a 15-16 year old internet user


People probably lie about their age online more than anything else, and in the case of young people i'd say it's a good idea given the circumstances. When I signed up here I was 14 but there was no way my mom was going to let me tell anyone. I ended up saying I was 16 in a thread once and learned my lesson after receiving a bunch of pervy emails from the loves little girls crowd.

I am curious how she learned so much about piercing/stretching shops in NYC, though

This is just the oddest query I've seen in a long time! People go to the library, or use this new fangled information highway you may have heard of. No topic is obscure nowadays! 8)
posted by zarah at 4:12 PM on January 26, 2007


I ended up saying I was 16 in a thread once and learned my lesson after receiving a bunch of pervy emails from the loves little girls crowd.

Really? How pervy? Forwarding-to-Matt pervy?
posted by cortex at 4:33 PM on January 26, 2007


They were bad enough to be printed out with headers and archived at the family lawyer's office but my mom never bothered Matt about it. My dad responded to each of the emails and the pervs were never heard from again.

And no, it was no one you'd recognize, so stop looking askance at everyone right now, heh.
posted by zarah at 5:46 PM on January 26, 2007


Askance is the only way I ever look at people. Hive of scum and villainy, and all that.

(And, yeah, so long as someone did some appropriate stick-waving.)
posted by cortex at 5:51 PM on January 26, 2007


I'll flame out! Oooh! Me!

CitrusFreak, what do you have against citrus? We're you're fruits, man. You can't ever turn your back on YOUR FRUITS. You're just a self-hating citrus bigot!

(Also: Glitter Ninja - best of luck to you. You can mow my lawn anytime you like.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:53 PM on January 26, 2007


And no, it was no one you'd recognize, so stop looking askance at everyone right now, heh.

Membership has it's privileges.

I know. Why would I even make that joke?

posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:34 PM on January 26, 2007


"after receiving a bunch of pervy emails from the loves little girls crowd."

You know we all thought SCDB, right?
posted by klangklangston at 9:05 PM on January 26, 2007


Yeah... SCDB.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an anonymous tip to Ann Arbor Police Department that needs retractin'.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:15 PM on January 26, 2007


CitrusFreak, what do you have against citrus? We're you're fruits, man. You can't ever turn your back on YOUR FRUITS. You're just a self-hating citrus bigot!

Y'know, what's really funny is I'm pretty sure we had a very similar conversation in another thread, only the roles were reversed.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 12:46 PM on January 27, 2007


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