So Who Stands Where?

April 17, 2007 3:24 PM

I'm trying to get a sense of the political affiliations of certain prominent Mefites, being a lurker and all.
posted by StrikeTheViol to MetaFilter-Related at 3:24 PM (385 comments total)

i'm a committed member of the assholes for life party.
posted by quonsar at 3:29 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

Have you tried giving their posting histories a thorough reading? That's a pretty effective method.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:30 PM on April 17, 2007

Try this, although it's a bit out of date now.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 3:32 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

So I know that certain users, like dios and rothko, are standard bearers for conservatism, SCDB is libertarian, and matteo, davy, graymouser, and elpapacito are socialists of some kind. (I think) Am I missing any other prominently political Mefites? Has Mefi ever had a real, self described Nazi? How about a Communist hardliner? Just want to catch up on Mefi history.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 3:32 PM on April 17, 2007 [3 favorites]

haha, I was thinking quonsar would joke about it ever before I posted.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 3:34 PM on April 17, 2007

So I know that certain users, like dios and rothko, are standard bearers for conservatism

That statement is comedy gold!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:34 PM on April 17, 2007

So I know that certain users, like dios and rothko, are standard bearers for conservatism...

Uh, whazzit?
posted by monju_bosatsu at 3:36 PM on April 17, 2007

Your capsule summaries are hilarious. Check the previous thread linked above for something more concrete.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 3:36 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm your huckleberry.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:36 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

So I know that certain users, like dios and rothko, are standard bearers for conservatism,

Did you mean to type that?
posted by delmoi at 3:37 PM on April 17, 2007

Why? I mean, it's not like MetaFilter's a political site. Who cares what people's politics are? (NOT ANARCHIST)
posted by Eideteker at 3:39 PM on April 17, 2007

On the up side, I managed to fix some broken html in one of Steve@'s old comments. And only four years late!
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:39 PM on April 17, 2007

The Whig party forever!
posted by tkchrist at 3:41 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm talking about the stereotypes in the threads I've run across, and I'd like to figure out where people stand before I'd argue politics on the blue, naturally. I'd seen that thread, but I figured I'd resurrect the topic, and I really wanted to see the joke answers...is that wrong?
posted by StrikeTheViol at 3:43 PM on April 17, 2007

Let the record reflect that I've been staunchly
pro-cake for many years.
posted by Dizzy at 3:44 PM on April 17, 2007 [4 favorites]

"Wrong" is a tough one. Personally, I don't think it's a very good idea, and I wasn't kidding one bit about reading someone's posting history—or at least a significant random sampling thereof—if your real concern is understanding their position and motivations on various topics. It's a humanizing and tempering experience, and I highly recommend it.

Trying to mark up a score card of stereotyped (and, by your examples, deeply flawed) positions as a pre-requisite to arguments seems like a poor way to encourage meaningful discussion for the sake of the arguments actually presented. Why not simply react to what is said, rather than the position you presuppose your interlocuter to hold?
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:46 PM on April 17, 2007

If there was a party that supported the death penalty for people who didn't compose their "more inside" before posting, I'd seek their nomination for president. In fact, I could probably think of a dozen different "more inside"-related crimes I'd like to codify.
posted by Plutor at 3:47 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

Dear StrikeThe Viol,

dios and rothko are not... how shall I put this?... on the same page. In fact, they are famously at odds. You couldn't have picked a funnier duo to mischaracterize as bearing the same standard. It seemed almost... intentionally absurd.

Your pal,

IRFH
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:50 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm an Intentional Absurdist.
posted by OmieWise at 3:52 PM on April 17, 2007

StrikeTheViol, comments on MeFi are supposed to be directed at the topics themselves, not at particular users. You're essentially trolling everyone here, asking what pigeonhole you can plop others into before you ever discuss something with them.

That's the wrong approach. Approach a political thread like any other -- if you have something to say about the site/page linked, feel free to and keep it on topic and about the subject matter at hand. If people in turn poke holes in your argument or ask you follow up questions, you're welcome to respond, but keep it focused on the topic itself.

In other words, it doesn't really matter what some users have for a common political stance. They don't always take the same position and to try and predict their responses to an issue is kind of a waste of energy. People here surprise me all the time.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 3:56 PM on April 17, 2007 [7 favorites]

ok, cortex, I wasn't intending to pigeonhole anyone in particular, although I did indeed wonder if I could actually find out anything interesting, so I just gave it a shot. Not actually trolling.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 3:57 PM on April 17, 2007

okay, I get it...I took the wrong tack with this one. Really, I thought this sort of thing was more common on Metafilter than it is. Mea Culpa.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 4:01 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm actually a Body Mass Communist/Cannibal.

+To each according to Hunger

+From each according to BMI

In the future we can all share Pants!
posted by French Fry at 4:02 PM on April 17, 2007 [10 favorites]

I'm the hardline communist, and don't think I haven't noticed your post and comment production levels are not in accord with latest MetaFilter 5-year plan.
posted by Wolfdog at 4:03 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

actually, I think I got the idea for rothko's position from some sort of joke post.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 4:03 PM on April 17, 2007

Not being prominent, I cannot speak...
posted by Karmakaze at 4:08 PM on April 17, 2007

So. How do I become a "certain prominent Mefite"? Can I just pay another $5 and get it over with?
posted by niles at 4:08 PM on April 17, 2007

Yes.
posted by uddersucker at 4:10 PM on April 17, 2007 [3 favorites]

So, dingleberries are huckleberries now ?
posted by y2karl at 4:11 PM on April 17, 2007

Cr0 MaGNONz sukk nEANd3rtaLz 4 Evar
posted by hangashore at 4:11 PM on April 17, 2007 [5 favorites]

Really, I thought this sort of thing was more common on Metafilter than it is.

Imminent Demise Predicted.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:13 PM on April 17, 2007

I belong to the "I fucking hate all of you fuckers" party.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:14 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

I'm a straight-ticket Idiosyncrat, myself.
posted by Afroblanco at 4:15 PM on April 17, 2007

So, dingleberries are huckleberries now ?

The balls, you say.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:16 PM on April 17, 2007

Well I lean pretty far to the Left, but I don't know if I am "prominent."
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 4:18 PM on April 17, 2007

Discussions are far more interesting when you address what people say, not what you suspect they might say based on their political affiliation.
posted by Bugbread at 4:19 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

I knew you were going to say that.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:20 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

Burhanistan, have you heard of this?
posted by davy at 4:20 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm a crypto-fascist, posing as an anarcho-syndicalist on the web, though I grew up in an honest-to-goodness Maoist/Communist household.

Oh, you said prominent.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:21 PM on April 17, 2007

Well I lean pretty far to the Left, but I don't know if I am "prominent."
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood


*giggles uncontrollably*
posted by eyeballkid at 4:25 PM on April 17, 2007

Over the years I have picked up a fair amount of knowledge osmotically about the US political system here and have come to the conclusion that the Democratic Party is right wing and the Conservative party even more so.

But they run the place so I no complain.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 4:26 PM on April 17, 2007

Dizzy writes: Let the record reflect that I've been staunchly pro-cake for many years.

Maybe, Dizzy. But nobody beats purephase. All cake lovers must bow down to him, for he is the Cake Leader.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:31 PM on April 17, 2007

My politics are not directionally-based.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:31 PM on April 17, 2007

My belly is mighty prominent these days.

"Are you gonna eat that?"
posted by davy at 4:32 PM on April 17, 2007

Something prominent on me leans a bit to the left. Oh, wait, this isn't the bathhouse thread, sorry.
posted by treepour at 4:34 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

StrikeTheViol, I'm sure you've noticed this as it is completely self-evident but I'm just plain sexy.
posted by The Straightener at 4:38 PM on April 17, 2007

I am not prominent, but I have been called "cromulent", and I am a die-hard Penis Power-ite. I believe in hitting the bottom whenever possible.
posted by everichon at 4:39 PM on April 17, 2007

And I stand here.
posted by everichon at 4:40 PM on April 17, 2007

Judean People's Front!
posted by Mister_A at 4:42 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

Splitter.
posted by everichon at 4:42 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

And I stand here.

Hey, wait a second! You were over there just a minute ago.

Oh, I see. You're a flip-flopper.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:46 PM on April 17, 2007

So, as a longtime non-FPPer, I just want to get a handle on which prominent MeFites have sex in bath houses. Anyone?
posted by everichon at 4:47 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

Something prominent on me leans a bit to the left.

And c'mon, treepour, it's not really that prominent, is it?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:47 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm called a "Conservative" because I'm a liberal.

I'm not a Libertarian.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 4:51 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

This thread's making me laugh pretty hard now, although I admit that with with a better post on my part, fewer would be at my own expense.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 4:51 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

MetaTalk: "I'll be your Nazi!"

Go Rhino.
posted by Mitheral at 4:54 PM on April 17, 2007

Thanks, SCDB! That was the kind of post I was looking for in the first place, if I'd been able to phrase my thoughts clearly enough.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 4:56 PM on April 17, 2007

And c'mon, treepour, it's not really that prominent, is it?

Well, um, it is to me, dammit!
posted by treepour at 4:58 PM on April 17, 2007

'Cause my money's spent on
The goddamn rent
Neither party is mine not the
Jackass or the elephant
posted by Otis at 5:02 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

And if only we prominent MeFites had all thought to compose such posts four years ago, just in case.
posted by Partial Law at 5:02 PM on April 17, 2007

I am the center. Y'all are to the right or left of me. Or front. Or back.
posted by ardgedee at 5:11 PM on April 17, 2007

here i am
stuck in the middle with you
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:13 PM on April 17, 2007

here i am
rock you like a hurricane
posted by eyeballkid at 5:14 PM on April 17, 2007

"which prominent MeFites have sex in bath houses"

I was quite prominent in the Club Baths in Berkeley and Sacramento in 1978; the pederasts loved me.
posted by davy at 5:15 PM on April 17, 2007

Cr0 MaGNONz sukk nEANd3rtaLz 4 Evar

On behalf of the prominent unibrow set, I must disagree.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 5:16 PM on April 17, 2007

Damn, Burhanistan! Which one is you?


/twit
posted by davy at 5:17 PM on April 17, 2007

So I know that certain users, like dios and rothko, are standard bearers for conservatism

Ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahhahah!!!!

Commie pinko maggot grumble grumble
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:25 PM on April 17, 2007

Burhanistan, I was leafing through Wikipedia's List of political parties by ideology and found the Minaret mentioned here, when I thought of you. (I myself no longer fit any narrow category; I'd need at least two hyphens.)

(So since you still don't have a contact address, may we set our "feud" aside? You ain' THAT bad.)
posted by davy at 5:28 PM on April 17, 2007

davy, you don't even have to ask permission to drop it. You can just drop it, if you really want to.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:29 PM on April 17, 2007

Seems like I just can't win...I was going to post about the Cricova wine cellars a few days ago, and actually saw the Alanis Morissette "My Humps" before it was here, thought about posting it as my first FPP, and then decided against it.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 5:37 PM on April 17, 2007

Here I am baby
signed, sealed, delivered
I'm yours
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:41 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm a liberals who hates most liberals.
posted by jonmc at 5:49 PM on April 17, 2007

I represent the Lollipop Party.

Hey, does anybody remember that guy who wrote pithy summaries of various users and put them on his userpage? What happened to him?
posted by Kattullus at 5:50 PM on April 17, 2007

here I am
the one that you love
posted by jonmc at 5:50 PM on April 17, 2007

I am the center.
posted by ardgedee

Ahem.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 5:52 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

Affiliation?
I'm Hedonist, a Philistine,
I'm Epicurean, an Aladdin!

Like Casanova, Don Juan's my fame
I'm eloquent, like Shakespeare's my name
Outdid Napoleon at his own game
Real like Tupac, copy me in vain!

Party?
I'll bring it!—Pleasure, I'll wring it—
I'm Caesar—hey Cassius, bring it!

An Adonis: that's what they say!
These warm biceps save dames all day
I'm making hay, but that's cliché
(I could go on, like this all day)

Got Trotsky's vigor, smugness of Kant—
She shimmies by—now hear me pant!
Done ravishing, let's smoke that plant;
Yes me dears, I'm a bon vivant!
posted by Firas at 5:56 PM on April 17, 2007

I hate fat people. Everything else just sort of falls into place.
posted by four panels at 6:05 PM on April 17, 2007 [3 favorites]

I am way to the left. Like off your screen. I eat liberal for breakfast.
posted by sneakin at 6:07 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm a repo man.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:12 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

I don't ever see this "purephase" guy at the meetings so dammit I am The Supreme Commander of Cake shut up shut up shut up.
posted by Dizzy at 6:12 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm a card-carrying member of the Condescension Party. Our positions are probably more nuanced than that to which you are accustomed, though I could make time to enlighten you if you insist.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:13 PM on April 17, 2007 [14 favorites]

These "certain prominent Mefites" that you mention...who exactly are they, and - more importantly - do they vibrate?
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:22 PM on April 17, 2007

Ethereal Bligh: I think you were probably trying to say "those to which you are accustomed"

It was a nice try anyway. Keep it up, son.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:24 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

I'm a repo man.
posted by Divine_Wino

It's true. he repo'd my whiskey once.
posted by jonmc at 6:27 PM on April 17, 2007

Claudia! Where were you? I've been keeping your chair warm.
posted by ardgedee at 6:27 PM on April 17, 2007

Thanks, Dad!
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:27 PM on April 17, 2007

* ruffles EB's hair *
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:28 PM on April 17, 2007

Goddamn dipshit Rodriguez gypsy dildo punks.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 6:37 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

I don't ever see this "purephase" guy at the meetings so dammit I am The Supreme Commander of Cake shut up shut up shut up.

Fool. purephase doesn't descend to the lower eschelons of party regulars. He is much too occupied at the apex of our Glorious Cake Party, at the helm, guiding us through those dangerous waters so infested with traitors and foreign agents who'd have us eating pie, or even cookies.

Your insubordination has been duly noted and recorded in your file.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:38 PM on April 17, 2007

here i am
up on the stage
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 6:40 PM on April 17, 2007

Discussions are far more interesting when you address what people say, not what you suspect they might say based on their political affiliation.

Or on any other characteristic. It's the basis of the ad hominem circumstantiae, a veritable plague here. You're wrong because you're [insert damning characterization here]. Or you can't talk about that because you're not [insert directly-affected people group here]. Etc.
posted by scheptech at 6:40 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm the hardline communist, and don't think I haven't noticed your post and comment production levels are not in accord with latest MetaFilter 5-year plan.

I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either.
posted by Snyder at 6:53 PM on April 17, 2007

Here I am
Baby
Come and take me
Take me by the hand
posted by evilcolonel at 6:53 PM on April 17, 2007

Right then, that's settled. Topic # 2: I'm trying to get a sense of who here's a jackass, among certain prominent Mefites, being a long time member and all.
posted by jonson at 6:53 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

Jonson, you might do better trying to figure out who isn't a jackass.

Shorter list.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 6:56 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

here i am
stuck in the middle with you
posted by quonsar at 6:58 PM on April 17, 2007

shit.
posted by quonsar at 6:59 PM on April 17, 2007

To do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the Law. Love under Will.
posted by Balisong at 7:01 PM on April 17, 2007

You're not a jackas, Den Beste. I'm one and you're never at the meetings.
posted by jonmc at 7:01 PM on April 17, 2007

Let the lamp affix its beam.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:02 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

You know who else was a real self described Nazi?
posted by ND¢ at 7:04 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

Balisong, if Will touches me again I swear I'll press charges.
posted by lekvar at 7:08 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm a techno-utopian.
posted by delmoi at 7:08 PM on April 17, 2007

That goddamned evilcolonel stole my song.

/shakes tiny fist

posted by popechunk at 7:11 PM on April 17, 2007

w00t!!

I miss the rhinos.
posted by carmen at 7:13 PM on April 17, 2007

Stand in the place where you live
Now face north
Think about direction
Wonder why you haven't before

posted by terrapin at 7:26 PM on April 17, 2007

Stand
In the end you'll still be you
One that's done all the things you set out to do
posted by jonmc at 7:28 PM on April 17, 2007

"My politics are not directionally-based."

Mine are, but they're orthogonal to the usual line of discussion on MeFi.

So, StrikeTheViol, are you Uppist or Downist? Think carefully before answering because remember, whatever your reply, there will be teeming masses ready to judge the entirety of your character based solely on the metaphorical direction you pick.
posted by Eideteker at 7:33 PM on April 17, 2007

I've said before that I think that two dimensions of political tendencies is hardly that much better than the typical one. Even so, because I was too late for the earlier thread, here's my result for that test:

Economic Left/Right: -2.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.03
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:35 PM on April 17, 2007

I have here a list of the names of 207 persons who are known by the Secretary of Defense as being members of the Communist Party...I demand an answer, Mr. Secretary. There will be no covering up, sir, no covering up. You are not going to get your hands on this list. And I deeply regret having to say...
posted by Dave Faris at 7:35 PM on April 17, 2007

have you no sense of decency, sir?
posted by jonmc at 7:41 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm a sort of a Communist.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:43 PM on April 17, 2007

At long last, sir, does your extra fresh flavor last an extra, extra, extra long time, sir?
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:45 PM on April 17, 2007

Jonmc, why don't you pass the time by playing a little solitaire?
posted by Dave Faris at 7:45 PM on April 17, 2007

Economic Left/Right: -2.50
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -7.59

This test is zeroed for the US though - cause I am no commie.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 7:49 PM on April 17, 2007

Somehow I'm really enjoying this thread, despite the fact that I got schooled by Matt, stavros has written me off already, and I've had my ass handed to me by a great number of regulars.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 7:54 PM on April 17, 2007

Please say I'm one of the 'regulars', please please please!

Wait, no. Don't. *shudder*

<groucho>I was a prominent member, til I got the reduction soi'gery.</groucho> *rimshot*

I can do this all night, folks. And I will, if no one closes this thread!
posted by Eideteker at 8:00 PM on April 17, 2007

I mostly stand at the bus stop.
posted by Quietgal at 8:02 PM on April 17, 2007

have you no sense of decency, sir?

At long last, have you left no sense of decency?!?!

Sorry, I just love that Senate exchange... And no, I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the Communist Party... But I did have a crush on a few of the CCCP athletes during various Cold War olympics.
posted by amyms at 8:04 PM on April 17, 2007

My political compass results, since I joined too late for the previous thread:

Economic Left/Right: -4.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.36
posted by cerebus19 at 8:06 PM on April 17, 2007

February 18, 2003
Economic Left/Right: -3.75
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -4.15

April 17, 2007
Economic Left/Right: -6.00
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.08

I've moved quite a bit left economically since the month before the Iraq War began. I bet at least a point and a half leftward shift is average for most Americans.

The order of the second score has apparently flipped. What does that mean?
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:06 PM on April 17, 2007

Come on down & meet your maker
Come on down & make the stand
posted by vronsky at 8:16 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm the token Republican.
posted by konolia at 8:16 PM on April 17, 2007

Cool! *passes to konolia on the right*
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:18 PM on April 17, 2007

Economic Left/Right: -3.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.87

I thought I was a slight bit closer to the center on both axes, but I'm flattered being so close to Gandhi.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 8:18 PM on April 17, 2007

FWIW: most people here at MeFi think that I'm a dyed-in-the-wool conservative Republican Bushie.

Truth is, I lean much more towards the Objectivism slash Atheist slash Conservative slash mild Republicanism.

With generous doses of Whimsicality.
posted by davidmsc at 8:19 PM on April 17, 2007

i am _not_ an alcoholic, i'm a presbyterian drunk!
posted by bruce at 8:19 PM on April 17, 2007

I looked at the Political Compass site (here) — does anyone else think that many of the questions are just nonsense?

Like:
If economic globalisation is inevitable, it should primarily serve humanity rather than the interests of trans-national corporations.

Who on earth is going to choose anything other than 'humanity' for that question? Even if you work for one of these trans-national corporations and support their goals, you're still going to choose humanity.

Or:
Controlling inflation is more important than controlling unemployment.

This is an absurd question. People who want inflation to be kept under control want it that way so that there is low unemployment. Even in the old days of the Phillips curve, when there was thought to be a clear macro tradeoff between inflation and unemployment, everyone's ultimate goal was economic growth and low unemployment. Low unemployment is an end, and controlling inflation is a means.

And some are just odd:
There is now a worrying fusion of information and entertainment.

How on earth does an answer to that question help categorise someone politically? And it's a bad question because it groups two discrete viewpoints under 'disagree' — those who think there's not a fusion of information and entertainment, and those who think that there is but it's not worrying.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 8:21 PM on April 17, 2007

Economic Left/Right: -4.88
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -6.77

Gitch 'er librul here, folks. Flamin' librul fer the gittin'!

And dammit, jonmc! You stole my lyric! *glares vigorously*

Ahem:

Here I am
This is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be

Kinda ironical, dontcha think?
posted by deborah at 8:23 PM on April 17, 2007

Interesting, ahfU. I too have drifted leftward. Perhaps that leg is shorter than my right.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:25 PM on April 17, 2007

Aloysius Bear, yeah, the inflation vs. unemployment thing is way more highbrow/complex a question than most of the other ones. I think it's basically made to test knee-jerk sympathies (control inflation = supply sider, low unemployment = socialistic.)
posted by Firas at 8:25 PM on April 17, 2007

I am an Orgasmofascist.
posted by homunculus at 8:27 PM on April 17, 2007

I posted one of the few things I know about that hasn't been mentioned before, a sort of peace offering to the collective wonderchicken.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 8:31 PM on April 17, 2007

Also, the fusion of entertainment/information thing is probably a slanted way to ask "do you think news broadcasters should be regulated for content" (eg. broadcast flag.)
posted by Firas at 8:32 PM on April 17, 2007

Uh, not broadcast flag. I mean fairness doctrine.
posted by Firas at 8:33 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm Alliance, but I really feel like the Night Elves need to get over their exclusionary ways and accept Thrall's truce, and the Tauren as kindred spirits under Elune.
posted by headspace at 8:37 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

Nobody gives a damn what I think, but at least I'm honest with myself about it.
posted by kyleg at 8:38 PM on April 17, 2007

I can tell you this... in my party, we never serve egg salad sandwiches to naked people. Cuz. Seriously. Eww.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:43 PM on April 17, 2007

[Posted that while topless.]
posted by miss lynnster at 8:45 PM on April 17, 2007 [4 favorites]

I don't want to end up sounding like a broken record here, but a lot of the questions are hopelessly badly worded, creating obvious biases, while some have no relevance to politics whatsoever.

"When you are troubled, it's better not to think about it, but to keep busy with more cheerful things."
"Astrology accurately explains many things"
"Abstract art that doesn't represent anything shouldn't be considered art at all."
How are any of these statements even slightly relevant to classifying someone's authoritarian/libertarian and left/right tendencies?

"Governments should penalise businesses that mislead the public."
I don't think anyone has ever suggested that as a general rule businesses should be allowed to mislead the public, so it's a silly question.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 8:49 PM on April 17, 2007

You're not a jackas, Den Beste. I'm one and you're never at the meetings.

I didn't make it onto the mailing list, so I always hear about them late.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 8:49 PM on April 17, 2007

[Posted that while topless.]

I'm left-handed too, but jerk off with my right.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:51 PM on April 17, 2007

Since I missed it last time 'round...
Economic Left/Right: -7.13
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -7.13

How the heck did I end up in dirtyhippyland? I'm not even vegetarian.
posted by juv3nal at 8:52 PM on April 17, 2007

I, too, have hit that bottom.
posted by AwkwardPause at 8:57 PM on April 17, 2007

Maybe in Uranus they pass from the right.
posted by Methylviolet at 8:59 PM on April 17, 2007

Could someone bump Burhanistan on the back of the head? He's stuck and repeating the same thing over and over and over. That's boring, too.

Yeah, I also took the test in 2003, before I was a member (I was lurking then, but that test was all over the web around that time). I, too, have since moved leftward and anti-authoritarian:

2003: -1.25, -3.54
2007: -2.38, -5.03
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 8:59 PM on April 17, 2007

Well, she had just joined us, Methyl.

So the thing about the Libertarian/Authoritarian versus Authoritarian/Libertarian flip is meaningless? I really have become more authoritarian? I blame parenthood.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 9:21 PM on April 17, 2007

I remember reading that thread the first time around, didn't post though.

Economic Left/Right: -4.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.67

And I head the local chapter of the Pajama Party.
posted by gsteff at 9:22 PM on April 17, 2007

“So the thing about the Libertarian/Authoritarian versus Authoritarian/Libertarian flip is meaningless?”

Yeah, I think it's certain that they just made a mistake on the webpage that they later fixed.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:23 PM on April 17, 2007

I am not a monster.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:27 PM on April 17, 2007

I am not a monster.

On the other hand, I am a giant chicken.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:32 PM on April 17, 2007

here I am I'm drunk again
posted by Nabubrush at 9:35 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm completely non-prominent, but here goes:

Economic Left/Right: -5.75
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.36
posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:41 PM on April 17, 2007

Does answering "all my affiliations are political" give me away?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:48 PM on April 17, 2007

...late to party...

q, isn't the full name of your party Assholes For Life - Crazy Old Idiots (AFL-CIO)?

Of course, Steve@, you HAVE to lean pretty far left just to reach the keyboard!

I KNEW miss lynnster was topless. Or untoppable.

Steven C., Only a jackass blames the mails.

konolia, you are NOT just our token Republican, you're our token manic-depressive Christian Republican grandmother! And we are still actively recruiting for other manic-depressives.

EBligh's opinions have shifted over the last four years? I am SHOCKED!

You don't have to be on the Bottom Left of the Political Compass to post here, but it makes the process less painful.

I have no interest in handing StrikeTheViol his ass... if he can't pick it up himself, he should pay for delivery.

However, *Strikes The Viol*...

And yes, STV, that IS Strike One.

As for me, the last Presidential Candidate I openly endorsed was Pat Paulsen.

And that should be "I represent the Lollypop LEAGUE". Unless you're in New York which does recognize it as a Party.

and now, for the musical portion of our program:

Well, the one on the right was on the left
And the one in the middle was on the right
And the one on the left was in the middle
And the guy in the rear was a Methodist

This musical aggregation toured the entire nation
Singing the traditional ballads
And the folk songs of our land
They performed with great virtuosity
And soon they were the rage
But political animosity prevailed upon the stage

Well, the one on the right was on the left
And the one in the middle was on the right
And the one on the left was in the middle
And the guy in the rear burned his driver's license

Now this should be a lesson if you plan to start a folk group
Don't go mixin' politics with the folk songs of our land
Just work on harmony and diction
Play your banjo well
And if you have political convictions keep them to yourself

Now, the one on the left works in a bank
And the one in the middle drives a truck
The one on the right's an all-night deejay
And the guy in the rear got drafted.
posted by wendell at 9:49 PM on April 17, 2007

Seems like I just can't win...I was going to post about the Cricova wine cellars a few days ago

Sorry 'bout that, man. But I needed that thirty dollars, knowwhati'msayin'? It was either that or put on a skirt and stroll the West Side Highway looking for New Jersey motorists.

dude, it's darwinian out there.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:50 PM on April 17, 2007

Tree hugger.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:02 PM on April 17, 2007

Miss Lynnster, if you keep posting topless, the boys won't be able to concentrate on their virtual schoolyard brawls and their "my witty retorts are bigger than the other guy's witty retorts" contests...

Ohh, I just realized you're doing this for the greater good... Carry on, sister!
posted by amyms at 10:10 PM on April 17, 2007

I'll let Sergeant Schulz answer for me.
posted by rob511 at 10:11 PM on April 17, 2007

I'm only doing it for the favorites. I was told it would help.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:15 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

Steven C., Only a jackass blames the mails.

I guess that means I don't have to attend the meetings after all.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 10:18 PM on April 17, 2007

All I know is that if someone doesn't favourite my kick-ass rap song that incorporated both Tupac & Trotsky I'm going to have to do it myself.
posted by Firas at 10:18 PM on April 17, 2007

"And that should be "I represent the Lollypop LEAGUE". Unless you're in New York which does recognize it as a Party."

Lollipop GUILD! you are both wrong!
posted by vronsky at 10:18 PM on April 17, 2007

I'd like to buy the world some cake,
And keep it company.
posted by Dizzy at 10:22 PM on April 17, 2007

I'd like to buy the world some cake,
And keep it company.

Is it a Coca-Cola cake, Dizzy?
posted by amyms at 10:26 PM on April 17, 2007

" We're all just masks for the Divine Spark."

Damn Burkhanistan, first christian then moslem then sufi now kabbalah. What's next, scientology?
posted by vronsky at 10:27 PM on April 17, 2007

Padraigin is for the children.
posted by padraigin at 10:28 PM on April 17, 2007

Padraigin is for the children.

Then shouldn't you be over in the Michael Jackson thread?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:30 PM on April 17, 2007

So, while I'm at it, aside from posts like this one (It's obvious now that it's hard to construe the tone as something other than trolling) is there anything else not explicitly stated in the guidelines I should avoid, for the sake of future Mefi best practices? I already know basics like "no selflinking" "no spamming" "no personal attacks" and "no confusing rothko with the magical rothko in my head".
posted by StrikeTheViol at 10:32 PM on April 17, 2007

is there anything else not explicitly stated in the guidelines I should avoid

Cat declawing, naming babies and mushroom identification.
posted by amyms at 10:36 PM on April 17, 2007

1) When you're at a bath-house, never shut the door.
2) Never snort your dead da's ahes.
3) Hundreds of Hand Drawn Turkeys.
posted by Dizzy at 10:38 PM on April 17, 2007

"Prominent," except when referring to ceiling cat and/or a bucket of cocks.
posted by Methylviolet at 10:39 PM on April 17, 2007

future Mefi best practices?

Keep making FPPs like this one and you'll be fine by me!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:40 PM on April 17, 2007

"When you're at a bath-house, never shut the door.'

and if you stay in one place you'll become the bicycle or something.
posted by vronsky at 10:44 PM on April 17, 2007

I hate parties. I usually hide in the kitchen and drink beer, if I come at all.
posted by dw at 10:47 PM on April 17, 2007

is there anything else not explicitly stated in the guidelines I should avoid

Don't mention gun control, but feel free to poop on Vonnegut readers to your heart's content.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:50 PM on April 17, 2007

Remember!--you can only post about subways and violins 5 times a week.
posted by Dizzy at 10:54 PM on April 17, 2007

This is an absurd question. People who want inflation to be kept under control want it that way so that there is low unemployment.

This isn't quite right, and the way it's written looks very confused.
posted by Kwantsar at 11:01 PM on April 17, 2007

"no confusing rothko with the magical rothko in my head"
I told you we're recruiting for manic-depressives, NOT delusional schizophrenics. (We've got PLENTY of those... many of whom have magical rothkos, but not as many as have magical delmois)
posted by wendell at 11:04 PM on April 17, 2007

Is Kwantsar sniffing spraypaint again?
posted by Dizzy at 11:07 PM on April 17, 2007

jefgodesky is an anarcho-primitivist.
I'm an anarcho-wanderingblindlyinthefogist.
Pope Guilty is an anarcho-stupidleftistshitist.

It's like the fucking Brady Bunch up in this hizzay.
posted by nasreddin at 11:17 PM on April 17, 2007

I personally (and fellow members of my mata) don't think we should build any more of these damn moai, the kainga has been stripped of its trees and the atua have taken their mana. I know that puts me in the minority--y'all largely follow the ariki mau without even considering whether he puts an albatross on your umu pae. And if you're from the wrong ivi? Well, you're fucked, stating your opinion is tapu. I'd bet a dozen kohau rongorongo that this will be our downfall.
posted by maxwelton at 11:20 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm a tree-hugging patchouli wearing hippie who wants to give the earth a hug.

I'm also great believe in the aphorism "Don't attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity" - and stupidity, as we know, is so vast that it makes G-d look like a neutrino.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:24 PM on April 17, 2007

Could somebody check to see if the solvents cabinet is locked?
posted by Dizzy at 11:28 PM on April 17, 2007

*checks*

It's not locked, Dizzy. What now?
posted by cgc373 at 11:37 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

mmmmmm... sooooooolventssss....

*slumps into corner with glassy eyes*
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:40 PM on April 17, 2007

Get some towels and boil some water, dammit!
Go to channel two, stat!
Kwantsar, g-moon and m-welton are zombies!
Repeat---Zombies!
posted by Dizzy at 11:41 PM on April 17, 2007

Good Lord, they've got flapjax!
We're doomed.
posted by Dizzy at 11:42 PM on April 17, 2007

MMMMMMM. SOLLLLLVENNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS.

(Man, this reminds me of art school. Good times.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:51 PM on April 17, 2007

Listen up, AlphaTeamResponderForce!
Here's what we know:
1) g-moon has changed the prefix codes. She now has control of cortex's cortex. She is attempting to clog the 'Filter with dozens of wooden clogs.
2) flapjax is stuffing his pants with sushi, mumbling about his "bento box".
3) will someone please put a blouse on miss lynnster? I'm having a hard time focussing.
4) wendell's pants are missing.
We need an Action Plan!
posted by Dizzy at 12:05 AM on April 18, 2007

But I'm near the end and I just ain't got the time
And I'm wasted and I can't find my way home.
posted by davy at 12:05 AM on April 18, 2007

Burhanistan: "We're all just masks for the Divine Spark."

Vronksy: "Damn Burkhanistan, first christian then moslem then sufi now kabbalah. What's next, scientology?"

I'm a member of the Jumping On Oprah's Sofa Party. And you're not!
posted by davy at 12:08 AM on April 18, 2007

Mama, put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore.
That long black cloud is comin' down
I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.
posted by davy at 12:09 AM on April 18, 2007

Not to worry; davy's not a huffer.
He's always like that.
posted by Dizzy at 12:11 AM on April 18, 2007

Well, I see that I haven't been loudly and stridently left-wing enough on here, at least not to be noticed.

:)
posted by By The Grace of God at 12:12 AM on April 18, 2007

PS. FOR TOP SECRET PROJECT, NEED NOUN FOR EPONYSTERICAL. CURRENTLY USING 'Eponystericism'. IDEAS? TIA
posted by Firas at 12:13 AM on April 18, 2007

"So, dingleberries are huckleberries now ?"

But not a daisy. Not a daisy at all.


Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.
Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:17 AM on April 18, 2007

Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again

AND

I'm doin' the best I ever did
Now GO AWAY!
posted by davy at 12:20 AM on April 18, 2007

I follow the Ethereal Bligh philosophy of trying to strike the most nuanced, down-the-middle position possible, but with a lot less clarity and a whole lot more antagonism.

So I would say I'm a member of the Hostility Party.
posted by spiderwire at 12:23 AM on April 18, 2007

I am NOT a horse!
posted by davy at 12:23 AM on April 18, 2007

I'm not sure where I stand, but I ain't machines and I ain't man.

And the plants and the animals, they are lame, and the plants and the animals eat each other
posted by !Jim at 12:23 AM on April 18, 2007

_*lame=linked
posted by !Jim at 12:25 AM on April 18, 2007

Economic Left/Right: -1.75
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.38

....just for the record
posted by spiderwire at 12:28 AM on April 18, 2007

"So I would say I'm a member of the Hostility Party."

Now you're messin' with a son of a bitch!

/me blows a kiss to jonmc, exits stage front face-first.
posted by davy at 12:34 AM on April 18, 2007

ALL YOUR CLOGS ARE BELONG TO ME.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:42 AM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

Firas: eponstericon.
posted by By The Grace of God at 12:44 AM on April 18, 2007

Hey, here's the MeCha thread where scarabic coined 'eponysterical'—he suggested the noun be 'nomenquipture' (now that's a word I can get behind.) Nomenquipture. Awesome.
posted by Firas at 1:12 AM on April 18, 2007

I am the walrus.

It's not a strict political party.
posted by slimepuppy at 1:39 AM on April 18, 2007

"Abstract art that doesn't represent anything shouldn't be considered art at all."

I see where that question comes from; there's an old conservative belief that high art should be noble, nice, and realistic, like the "masters", and that abstract / surreal / experimental art is some (overfunded) liberal buffoonery. Real artists produce lovely landscapes. Communists produce senseless geometric horrors. I think that's the idea.
posted by Jimbob at 2:00 AM on April 18, 2007

My pants are not missing.

I just wanted to show solidarity with miss lynnster.

That, and quonsar has some new fish and needed a place to keep them.

And I have no solvents, only adhesives.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I have to. Adhesives.
posted by wendell at 2:16 AM on April 18, 2007

I'm afraid the intersection of a lack of pants, adhesive in odd places, and snapping fish on top of that, doesn't really take me to a happy place at all.
posted by Firas at 2:18 AM on April 18, 2007

Here I stand, I can do no other, God help me.
posted by Abiezer at 2:29 AM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

I am a fucking asshole. Always have been.
posted by Jofus at 2:51 AM on April 18, 2007

Economic Left/Right: -7.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -7.08

Geez really? Nobody out here but me and the crickets. Ah, I see on the agenda is converting more people to wicca and making their kids gay. Good show my chirping comrades!
posted by supercrayon at 2:56 AM on April 18, 2007

I am the only cold-hearted liberal I know.
posted by The Confessor at 3:21 AM on April 18, 2007

Economic Left/Right: -12.71 + 6.24i
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: log₀ 224.03^-φ
posted by Eideteker at 3:41 AM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

Aw, maaaan, the solvents are wearing off...

...bummer...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:55 AM on April 18, 2007

I don't think I'm doing this test right. Now it's asking me to solve for x, where x = the area A of y times n, where n is a constant, times a random number.
posted by Eideteker at 4:09 AM on April 18, 2007

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 4:09 AM on April 18, 2007

Eponysteria seems like the only sensible choice.

That's my political affiliation, not a suggestion for a noun.
posted by flashboy at 4:42 AM on April 18, 2007

after serious and considerable reflection, i have decided to vote for the elder god platform

my candidate's positions on the issues are unassailable by mere mortals

furthermore, if you join the campaign, you will be among the last to be eaten
posted by pyramid termite at 5:12 AM on April 18, 2007

I don't believe in Beatles.
posted by Kwine at 5:33 AM on April 18, 2007

Having gotten namechecked early in this, yes, I'm some kind of socialist - particularly, a Trotskyist, for what it's worth. Not currently affiliated with any of the two dozen or so Trotskyist groups in the US.
posted by graymouser at 5:42 AM on April 18, 2007

Tree hugger.
posted by jessamyn

three hugger.
posted by micayetoca at 5:53 AM on April 18, 2007

Marxist
posted by jonmc at 6:23 AM on April 18, 2007

What has pre-'68 socialism done for you lately? Would you like an explanation of what it could do for you?
posted by mikeh at 6:31 AM on April 18, 2007

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

Who promoted Major Major? This is outrageous.

I'm a member of whatever party will redress this terrible grievance. Metafilter only had one Major Major and now we've got none.
posted by GalaxieFiveHundred at 6:38 AM on April 18, 2007

Clearly if a party is engaged enough to address grievance it's too distracted a party to join.
posted by Firas at 6:43 AM on April 18, 2007

* this grievance.
posted by Firas at 6:43 AM on April 18, 2007

I hang with Conjunctivism/Consumptivism; it's all about higher wages for makeup-artists and chimneysweeps.
posted by hermitosis at 6:51 AM on April 18, 2007

*nails 95 theses to the door for all to see*
posted by AwkwardPause at 7:05 AM on April 18, 2007

Sweet moses, the solvents cabinet! I am in so much trouble.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:11 AM on April 18, 2007

I'm a neoprimitivist.

* watches out for jefgodesky
posted by Pastabagel at 7:30 AM on April 18, 2007

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

But I'm a girl. And I'm sitting on a cornflake. I used to vote Democrat but they've all gone very strange. Now I'll have to vote Labour first but my allegiance shall always be with Mr. FreeMarijuana, just because I shall always be a goddamn pot-smoking lefty in my heart.

I'm non-prominent, but I lurk so much that I feel I know you all.
posted by h00py at 7:47 AM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

lol @ pastabagel

I am a furious Puritan.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 7:50 AM on April 18, 2007

So, while I'm at it, aside from posts like this one (It's obvious now that it's hard to construe the tone as something other than trolling) is there anything else not explicitly stated in the guidelines I should avoid, for the sake of future Mefi best practices?

Glad you asked!

Please do not ask the following askme questions:

I left some food on the counter for half an hour. Is it still OK to eat?

I know nothing at all about musical genre X but desperately want to impress this girl who's into musical genre X. Help me make a mix tape.

If you must do a long-drawn-out RelationshipFilter question, try to keep it to one paragraph per year of said relationship.

In the blue, please avoid the following, as they are repetitive and boring:

LOL RED STATE HILLBILLIES
LOL CHRISTIANS
LOL FAT PEOPLE
LOL FAT PHILISTINE AMURRIKINS
posted by jason's_planet at 7:57 AM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm a drunkard.
posted by rocket88 at 7:58 AM on April 18, 2007

three hugger.

I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

That's Hug O Warrior to you.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:01 AM on April 18, 2007

Most are members of the Snark party.
posted by caddis at 8:05 AM on April 18, 2007

LIBATION-TARIAN.
posted by COBRA! at 8:07 AM on April 18, 2007

I drink for freedom and stricter immigration laws.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:08 AM on April 18, 2007

I used to think I was a lefty, but compared to some of your political compass results, I'm practically Margaret Freaking Thatcher.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:09 AM on April 18, 2007

So I know that certain users, like dios... are standard bearers for conservatism
posted by StrikeTheViol at 3:32 PM PST on April 17

Methinks you may have some reading comprehension problems. That, or you got that idea from some strawman dios, because you sure never got it from me.

I've never been a standard bearer for conservatism, and I defy you to find any comment by me doing so. So often I find myself arguing against smug, shrill, hyperbolic leftist claptrap on this site, not because it is leftist, but because it is smug, shrill, hyperbolic partisan claptrap. Which is to say that if the loudest of the partisans here were as far right as they are left, I would be in the same position arguing against it and people would call me a standard bearer for liberalism. The problem is that too many people have a binary perspective politically: "you are either what I am fully or you are The Other." And that's just wrong; just because I called user A's partisan screed a load of bullshit, it does not follow that I am the opposite of user A politically. It just means I can spot bullshit.

A lot of people assume they know what I believe politically, but as I said, you won't find me advocating policies on this site, so their assumptions are baseless. To my knowledge, this post is one of the first posts to actually ask me what I believe. Since you ask, I will tell you: I don't know what label attaches to me. I am not a political person in day to day life, and I don't read political sites or define myself politically. I don't really know what label attaches to me. Some people had a great laugh when I explained it before in some silly terms, but I don't what term to use. Perhaps you can tell me what I am: I am a firm and ardent believer in the wisdom of the Constitution primarily, and the writings of Federalists like James Madison. That is, I believe strictly in the rule of law. Law is created democratically. The majority is free to rule with the only limitation being minority rights. And by minority rights, I am referring to actual rights properly understood, not those claimed rights that people are constantly claiming today and do not exist. Whatever the law is ultimately determined to be, citizens must follow it as the price of living in this country. If we don't like something, we have the power to change it and should do so through the legislature, not the courts. Or, we can move.

That is the procedural framework that I believe in which doesn't tell you a lot about my personal policy preferences. But I say that because since I believe that, I assent to the will of the majority with the properly-understood limitations. On a lot of issues, I don't have preferences, and I leave it our system to resolve. But this is why I have a hard time defining myself politically because it is typically social policy preferences that we use to define people these days as opposed to a structural approach. An on those policy preferences, I don't fit into either camp. So for example, abortion: it's not a constitutional right, but if we want to make it one, fine by me. If some states want to allow and other's don't, fine by me. On a personal level, I'm probably in Bill Clinton's camp of safe, legal and rare, but I don't vote on the issue or support either side. Gay marriage? I don't care. Marriage isn't a right, but we can make it one if we want to do so. Or the government can get out of the game completely and just acknowledge civil unions. The issue doesn't effect me, so I'm fine by whatever the state decides to do. Drug legalization? I don't care if we make pot legal, just follow the law whatever it is. Death penalty? Its not a constitutional question and is not objectively right or wrong; it a policy question that should be left to the laboratories of democracy to see what works. I could go on throughout these "defining" issues, and there isn't any that I have a strong preference which will help you define me. I do have some general views that inform many personal viewpoints, such as: all things considered, free markets are a good. Free enterprise is a good. Religion is not evil. Government tends to be inefficient. If you think something is violating your rights, you're probably wrong about that. Etc.

I could go on, but I'm quite certain that we won't end up with me being a conservative (much less a standard bearer for it because I never advocate its policies). I don't know what label you ultimately end up placing on me. But I can tell you this: every partisan, whether they be left or right, is wrong because they are making claims of entitlement which do not find support in the Constitution or the law. And due to the lack of the support, they cloak their arguments in their perceived self-righteousness and objective correctness... but they are wrong about that. Moreover, they believe those that oppose them are objectively wrong.... and they are wrong about that as well.

If you want to know what I believe about something, ask. But don't take facile, bullshit characterizations that partisans make about me as fact and label me as such. Think critically. And realize that if X claims that Y is objectively correct and anyone disagreeing is evil, and I say that it is not right, it doesn't mean I am advocating the opposite of Y. It just means I am pointing out the bullshit partisan claptrap.

(Is that what you wanted to know?)
posted by dios at 8:09 AM on April 18, 2007 [4 favorites]

Just take the test, rothko.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:25 AM on April 18, 2007

Was anyone else a bit leery of clicking jessamyn's hug o' war link lest it contain a bawdy image of a chicken & Shel Silverstein?

...

Oookay, just me then.

posted by romakimmy at 8:34 AM on April 18, 2007

I just try and note like Optimus Prime would.
posted by EatTheWeek at 8:39 AM on April 18, 2007

note = vote.
posted by EatTheWeek at 8:39 AM on April 18, 2007

Why is this not deleted? You should all be ashamed
posted by prostyle at 8:40 AM on April 18, 2007

Labels are (generally speaking) bullshit.
posted by spock at 8:43 AM on April 18, 2007

My hair shirt is at the cleaners, prostyle.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:44 AM on April 18, 2007

The mods probably just haven't seen it, prostyle.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:50 AM on April 18, 2007 [2 favorites]

That's Hug O Warrior to you.

Oh, wow. That's lovely.
posted by micayetoca at 8:54 AM on April 18, 2007

You're essentially trolling everyone here, asking what pigeonhole you can plop others into before you ever discuss something with them.

That's the wrong approach.

Yes, and now it's 260 comments worth of the wrong approach. Hallelujah.
posted by prostyle at 8:55 AM on April 18, 2007

pound sand, prostyle.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:59 AM on April 18, 2007

StrikeTheViol , this was asked before, sort of, in this thread. (Unfortunately I made a bit of a dick out of myself then by posting while drunk, though the general point that you might need to add a few categories to your summary to account for non-US posters stands.)

There was a report of a communist, too.

When I took to Compass test then, I my unprominent self was 'almost as far left as you can go, and dead on the line in the middle of Authoritarian and Libertarian (I thought I'd be further right and more authoritarian, but can't complain about being closer to Ghandi than Stalin.).' Can't be arsed taking it again, though.
posted by jack_mo at 8:59 AM on April 18, 2007

I am, I said.
posted by Lynsey at 9:06 AM on April 18, 2007

Yes, and now it's 260 comments worth of the wrong approach.

I very much like that both this thread and the one jack_mo just linked played out as utter rejections of the posed question. This one has been mercilessly silly, and three or four separate debates (the challenges of making polar ideological models jibe with varyingly moderate actual humans; the validity of political perceptions on mefi; the ethics of praising vs. shaming on the site; and so on) comprised the other fairly recent one. Neither was substantially an attempt to provide the requested pigeonholing.

So your complaint doesn't make much sense to me, prostyle. What about how this thread has actually played out strikes you as being "the wrong approach"? Why should we be collectively ashamed?
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:10 AM on April 18, 2007

Another guideline not mentioned so far. Prepare for the aftermath when you string together sentences like "I don't agree with his politics, but Ben Stein was incredibly kind to my mom & that kicked ass."
posted by miss lynnster at 9:14 AM on April 18, 2007

I am a member of all parties. I represent each and every one of you. You have nothing to fear; vote for me and we'll all be free.

IF ELECTED, I WILL NOT SERVE!
posted by breezeway at 9:14 AM on April 18, 2007

Pirate party, harrrrrr(hack, cough,splutter).
posted by IronLizard at 9:18 AM on April 18, 2007

Defending right-wing talking points does not make one a conservative. Keep an open mind, here.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:24 AM on April 18, 2007

I'm an anarcho-monarchist.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:25 AM on April 18, 2007

I'm a card-carrying Apathist... well I was, until I lost the card. Can't be bothered to look for it. Meh.

And for those of you keeping score at home...
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:25 AM on April 18, 2007

Wow. Ok, even in real life I don't answer that kind of question. If people know me, they know how I'll vote, so it's reduntant. If they don't know me, they're ususally trying to start something. My stock answer is "I don't ask and I don't answer that question". It's a conversation stopper, which is the point.

But hey, since it's you asking: Jedi.
posted by lysdexic at 9:26 AM on April 18, 2007

I am in all sincerity a communist, and I live in a (nominally) communist country too! Isn't it great when life works out like that?
posted by Abiezer at 9:28 AM on April 18, 2007

Economic Left/Right: -8.50
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.54

Ghandi's got nothing on me. This test is weighted quite heavily for American divisions and hot button issues.

Aloysius Bear writes "I looked at the Political Compass site (here) — does anyone else think that many of the questions are just nonsense?"

Many tests that seek to determine true ratings rather than what people think they are are like this.


Aloysius Bear writes "'Abstract art that doesn't represent anything shouldn't be considered art at all.'
"How are any of these statements even slightly relevant to classifying someone's authoritarian/libertarian and left/right tendencies?"

In Canada anyways the hard line Reformers (right wing whackos) are against most public art funding and also decry as "not art" anything even slightly out of the mainstream, though inducing or disturbing.
posted by Mitheral at 9:31 AM on April 18, 2007

has anyone made the toga party joke yet ?
cause i'm thinking i might make it.
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:37 AM on April 18, 2007

In Canada anyways the hard line Reformers (right wing whackos) are against most public art funding and also decry as "not art" anything even slightly out of the mainstream, though inducing or disturbing.

I'm sure there is a correlation between hating modern abstract art and being a social conservative. But that doesn't make it a good question.

Youth is correlated with liberalism, and old age with social conservatism. Does that mean, to classify someone's politics, you can just ask them "How old are you?" is an appropriate question to classify someone's politics? Of course not.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 9:57 AM on April 18, 2007

• I am generally pro-deletion on the blue (especially for NewsFilter) and anti-deletion on the green. That's not to say I believe every thread on AskMe should stay up, but on the ones where there isn't widespread consensus for deletion, I almost always fall on the "keep it" side of the debate. (This has not always been true; my views have evolved in this respect. Or, I'm a flip-flopper, if you prefer to see it that way.)
• I despise the @username convention when replying to someone else's comment.
• People should phrase the front-page part of their AskMe to give some idea of what the actual question is. And if your "more inside" is only a sentence or two, consider putting the entire thing on the front page and not having more inside.
• People forget the "move on" part of "flag it and move on" too often. If you comment in the thread that you've flagged the post, or find the post unworthy, for whatever reason, you've defeated one of the purposes of flagging.
• Posts in the blue should primarily be about good links. Yes, MeFi is a discussion site as well; I'm not denying that discussion is also important, but it's less important than the links themselves. A bad post usually leads to bad discussion. There are exceptions to that generality, but the fact that one bad post once led to good discussion does not justify other bad posts.

Those are my positions on the most pressing political issues of the day. I'm sure you can infer my views on lesser issues (abortion, gun control, global warming) from those.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:01 AM on April 18, 2007

Martian Space Party here. Our platform? Six inches off the ground so no one falls off.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 10:10 AM on April 18, 2007

pound sand

My thoughts exactly

Why should we be collectively ashamed?

If you have to ask...
posted by prostyle at 10:12 AM on April 18, 2007

I have to ask, prostyle. Would you mind terribly following through and converting your dangling implication into an actual explicit condemnation?
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:19 AM on April 18, 2007

I'm Hobbitian. Vote for Frodo!
posted by ericb at 10:23 AM on April 18, 2007

I can never decide whether to call myself a ‘liberal.’ A lot of the time, you’re only presented with two options, and I think in those situations it’s okay to glom on to some basic party affiliation: Democrat/Republican, leftist/rightie, progressive/conservative, etc. But when you’re writing about yourself, you’ve got the power to present yourself in your own terms, so there seems to be no reason to settle for easy dichotomies. In those situations, I’m still not entirely sure how to refer to myself.

As for liberalism, my objection generally is that it’s a misnomer. I suspect that most people who read this are aware of the difference between the liberalism of Locke and Mill, and the current usage of the term. In a nutshell, liberalism simply indicates a regime guided by constitutional restrictions on state intrusion into the private sphere and a respect for property. (Property is both a bundle of rights and the archtypical right: all rights are ‘properties’ of individuals, and all rights generally reflect the exclusion, use, transfer, or possession of something, like one’s speech or one’s body.)

Beyond the homophone problem, I often disagree with the version of rights and property that sustains pretty much the entire political spectrum in this country. So far as I’ve been able to discern, I have too thick a sense of the Good to be a strict libertarian. I suspect that there are many matters in which communally organized governance should involve itself, whether that be civic and moral education, or environmental and labor regulation. I oppose home schooling and the strange usage of the ‘takings’ clause that many Republican jurists favor in order to combat community oversight.

Yet it seems like the strategy of identifying ‘liberal’ with ‘libertine’ has been wholly successful: the thin liberty by which one requires the government to leave one to enjoy one’s privacy gets too easily conflated with the licentiousness we are supposedly engaging in that privacy. So whenever I hear a fellow-traveler accused of ‘liberalism’ in that particular snearing tone that suggests that she has inappropriate relations with her pets, I want to stand in solidarity with liberals. After all, bourgeois property-rights were very progressive when the King effectively owned everything and loaned it out to his subjects until the whimsy struck him to take it back. I’m glad Locke spent the time to deflate the supposed divinity of the sovereign, too. (And watch out during this NSA wiretapping scandal for the Supreme Court to remind us that the executive’s power is unified and came directly from the English monarchy! Never mind that we, like, had a revolution.)

Anyway, back to being a ‘liberal.’ Sometimes I prefer the term ‘progressive,’ because the implication is that I’m hoping things will get better. But this is a little like calling oneself an optimist; it’s not a political position, it’s a mood. Certainly I suspect that many conservatives are driven by a cynical convinction that things will keep getting worse unti the world ends, so the best course of action is to stem the tide of modernity. That’s why they try to conserve traditional values, and hew to settled hierarchies and business models that have worked ages and ages, or at least for several fiscal quarters in a row. But I’m actually a bit suspicious of progress, too. I suspect that we’ve lost a lot, especially compared to the Greek polis, or even the heady days of the American Revolution.

On the other hand, I’ve got these perhaps irrational pockets of hopefulness. I’m optimistic that some developments might improve our situation. I hope that we Americans will someday learn that it is always wrong to torture people, for instance, the same way I hope that my friend’s baby will learn to walk and talk and control her own bowels, like a big girl! But I’m skeptical enough of progress that I think it would be a bit disingenuous to call myself a progressive (since I once thought that our country had already learned to control its own bowels… I mean, its intelligence community.)

The term that has the most promise, from my perspective, is ‘egalitarian.’ I wish a lot more people referred to themselves this way, especially politicians. In the US, egalitarian populism often meets with the charge of ‘class warfare,’ as if making corporations and rich people pay taxes was the same as throwing Molotov cocktails and disseminating seditious literature. But frankly, I like class warfare, (and seditious literature, actually) or at least I think it’s uniquely important to what politics really is, rather than what it’s come to look like.

For one thing, the Democratic big three, race, gender, and sexuality, strike me as categories worthy of attention insofar as they have import for class. If non-whites weren’t predominantly poor, or women too often relegated to a strange secondary class of housework, I wouldn’t be as interested in feminism and post-colonial studies. A lot of people complain that there is a collusion between class issues and cultural production, such that we repress and avoid canonizing the work of non-whites and women, and I’m willing to go along with that too, if only because it means that there might be some good seditious literature to be had.

The funny thing about homosexuality, of course, is that it’s not really a class or cultural issue. As Sedgwick puts it, “Not only have there been a gay Socrates, Shakespeare, and Proust, but their names are Socrates, Shakespeare, and Proust.” Rich people seem to be gay about as frequently as anybody else (though there are more poor gays because there are more poor people.) Still, given the role that marriage plays in accumulating capital, it does seem that disallowing marriage has had some impact on the microeconomic situation of homosexuals. But I’m just saying that so I don’t have to admit that I object to restricting marriage for basically liberal reasons. The other way to put this position is that legalizing gay marriage is a matter of equality of opportunity (even if it’s simply the opportunity to be overfed, bored, and vaguely dissatisfied.)

So, call me an egalitarian. I won’t duck the other labels when I don’t have to, but at least now we’re clear.
posted by anotherpanacea at 10:28 AM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

I tried taking the Nolan test, but my political views are unrepresentable there due to the Libertarian bias of the test- it makes anarcho-communism completely ungraphable.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:30 AM on April 18, 2007

I'm practically Margaret Freaking Thatcher.

except she's better looking.
posted by quonsar at 10:35 AM on April 18, 2007

i am the fly
i am the fly
i am the fly
i am the fly
fly in the
fly in the ointment
posted by gompa at 10:53 AM on April 18, 2007

It's fly in the vaseline, man. Fly in the vaseline.
posted by IronLizard at 11:08 AM on April 18, 2007

my good friend dios: can you link me to someplace, either on metafilter or elsewhere on the wider web, where you have "spotted bullshit" from some "hyperbolic partisan(s)" as far to the right as you perceive the partisans here to be "to the left", and provided an appropriately thorough demolition of that person('s/s') arguments?

Please interpret this request as being one of curiosity -- I would merely be very interested in seeing examples of your work aimed at very different targets than those at which you are stereotyped as perpetually aiming.
posted by little miss manners at 11:08 AM on April 18, 2007 [2 favorites]

Is dios being paid by the word?
posted by Dizzy at 11:38 AM on April 18, 2007

No, no... SAND in the Vaseline.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:45 AM on April 18, 2007

Dear Mr. Vernon StrikeTheViol, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong are here by our own volition. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain liberal...
...and an athlete anarchist...
...and a basket case libertarian...
...a princess conservative...
...and a criminal communist...
Does that answer your question?... Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Mefite Club.
posted by deborah at 11:49 AM on April 18, 2007 [5 favorites]

Is dios being paid by the word?

I get paid not to write. But I'm on strike, and so feeling loquacious.
posted by anotherpanacea at 11:49 AM on April 18, 2007

But I'm on strike, and so feeling loquacious.

*Gets in line*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:53 AM on April 18, 2007

little miss manners: I only comment here. Find me a thread that is a giant right wing circle jerk, and I'll dive in and point out how moronic the things being said are. I don't know of any here on this site. Maybe you do. I know I have been critical of conservatives and Bush on this site before, but I'm not going to waste my time to go find the times I was because--based on my past interactions with you--I seriously doubt you really care to be open-minded to me despite your superficial sincerity.
posted by dios at 11:57 AM on April 18, 2007

*eyeing everyone warily...whistling quietly*
posted by taosbat at 12:01 PM on April 18, 2007

except she's better looking.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess.
posted by Dave Faris at 12:03 PM on April 18, 2007

But I'm on strike, and so feeling loquacious.

Oooooh. That sounds naughty. I hope you got consent!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:04 PM on April 18, 2007

Well, dios and anotherpanacea gave me the kind of "serious" replies I was looking, in the most awkward of ways, to receive, but I was also expecting the really funny joke answers, which I got in spades. My (misguided) idea was to give people space to refute/confirm/expand on their politics vs. perceptions of them, without the heat of a particular issue thread on the blue, which I certainly knew would be taken as trolling. I also wanted to phrase the question in such a way that it would be easy to humorously ignore, so it wouldn't flameout. Naturally, I can see I screwed up trying to do that. I'm really surprised it got so many comments, however ... my personal favorite thus far is French Fry's Body Mass Communist.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 12:13 PM on April 18, 2007

Reformed POUM - provisional wing!
posted by adamgreenfield at 12:16 PM on April 18, 2007

loquacious is easy; you oughta try feeling tkchrist.
posted by cgc373 at 12:23 PM on April 18, 2007

“I know I have been critical of conservatives and Bush on this site before, but I'm not going to waste my time to go find the times I was because--based on my past interactions with you--I seriously doubt you really care to be open-minded to me despite your superficial sincerity.”

I know you pretty well, dios, and we're friends, but I find your protestations of political left-centricism, or neutrality, to be at the least mildly suspect.

You're not the only person here who finds MetaFilter groupthink disturbing and is often moved to be critical of it. Myself and languagehat are two relevant examples of others so inclined. The thing is, though, that languagehat and myself will, at least part of the time, be critical from the left of the groupthink as well as from the right. A very nice example at hand is my (someone claimed) quixotic criticism in the Power of the Penis thread.

But you almost invariably are critical from the right. Your defense is that MetaFilter is a left-leaning community and most prone to left-leaning groupthink. And of course that's true. But it's also simply true that all examples of conformity and a lack of self-criticism are not politically leftist. When a member is self-evidently sensitive only to a certain political flavor of bad behavior then his politics are readily apparent. There are a few examples of those who consistently do this from the left of the MetaFilter community median and I doubt that you are convinced of those persons' claims of neutrality. I'm not.

Being familiar with your positions here and having corresponded with you, I'm well aware that you're not at all as far to the right as your critics claim and/or believe you are. But, to a degree, that's beside the point. The bottom line is that you are a MetaFilter cultural critic with attacks almost without fail from the right. This makes you a political partisan whether you like it or not and whether you admit it or not. I think that you honestly believe yourself to be relatively impartial and unfairly accused on this matter, but I also believe that you are either deluding yourself somewhat or are just not fully evaluating the social context in which you are operating.

This is also why I generally stopped defending you a while back. It's not because I disbelieve your stated good-intentions—I still believe them. It's because your solid partisan status, intentional or not, has greatly diminished your credibility as a supposedly well-intentioned cultural critic. It's quite true that, in general, your tone is far more congenial and respectful than it once was. That's why there are very few calls these days for your banning, as opposed to the frequent such outcries in the past. But this change of behavior really doesn't address the underlying problem that is obstructing your aim of being constructively critical. At this point, I'm not sure that you could correct this problem, the social inertia is to great.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:24 PM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

I can't make up my mind between the aggressive, pro-French, and aristocratic Hat party and the more conservative, pro-Russian Cap party.
posted by languagehat at 12:26 PM on April 18, 2007

Myself and languagehat are two relevant examples of others so inclined.

God, you are such an ass. Don't you ever get tired of yourself?
posted by adamgreenfield at 12:27 PM on April 18, 2007

Myself and languagehat are two relevant examples of others so inclined. The thing is, though, that languagehat and myself will,…

Dude. Invoke the 'hat if you want to, but get the old grammar right, eh?
posted by Aloysius Bear at 12:30 PM on April 18, 2007

Oops. I apologize for my grammatical errors and such. It's never come easily to me, I've always had to work at it and slowly improve.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:33 PM on April 18, 2007

I know I have been critical of conservatives and Bush on this site before, but I'm not going to waste my time to go find the times I was because--

evidence to the contrary is so much easier to produce. In volume from the beginning.

See also Maintaining Consistency between Self-Serving Beliefs and Available Data
posted by y2karl at 12:35 PM on April 18, 2007

See also Camel, eye of needle.
posted by y2karl at 12:36 PM on April 18, 2007

get the old grammar right, eh?

Hey now. Dump on EB for prolixity if you will, but there's nothing wrong with his grammar. See my comment and quote here. And I'm not just saying this because EB put me on his team.
posted by languagehat at 12:47 PM on April 18, 2007

Are ya happy now, StrikeTheViol?
posted by everichon at 12:48 PM on April 18, 2007

Fair enough, EB. I didn't intend to be an asshole, but the phrase 'myself and languagehat' was crying out for it.

Your comment above (about dios) seems to assume that since he claims to avoid being partisan, he must be entirely neutral. As I understand it, and I think this is how dios used the term, partisan doesn't just mean supporting a cause, it means supporting a cause "zealously or blindly", in a "one-sided, prejudiced" manner. It's perfectly possible to hold right- or left-wing views, and consistently advocate them, and yet avoid being partisan.

I suppose it's these lines I disagree most strongly with, "The bottom line is that you are a MetaFilter cultural critic [who] attacks almost without fail from the right. This makes you a political partisan whether you like it or not and whether you admit it or not."

I don't really want to turn this into a discussion about word meanings, but it seems to me that these two lines are reliant on a very, very loose definition of the word partisan.

Also, I think a lot of dios' opinions, particularly in relation to the law, are associated with the right but not inherently right-wing.

It's quite true that, in general, your tone is far more congenial and respectful than it once was.

I agree with your point here, but equally I sympathise with people who find the tone employed here to be a little patronising.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 12:50 PM on April 18, 2007

I'm a proud member of the Very Silly Party.

Vote Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (sound effect of horse whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeker) Featherstone Smith (blows whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, which goes 'whoop') Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) 'We'll keep a welcome in the' (three shots, stops singing) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeker) Tiger-draws Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton Mannering (hoot, 'whoop') Smith!
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:00 PM on April 18, 2007

Like it or not, you are all honorary members of the New Millennium Bean Party. Deal with it. Group hug.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:03 PM on April 18, 2007

“I don't really want to turn this into a discussion about word meanings, but it seems to me that these two lines are reliant on a very, very loose definition of the word partisan.”—Aloysius Bear

That's a good point. My intention, though, was to describe a weak sort of partisanship. Perhaps that is only bias+affiliation and I should have described it as such.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 1:12 PM on April 18, 2007

no matter what dios claims these days, my affectionate impressions were cemented in one of my earliest contacts with him, where, in the wilds of IRC, he regaled us with a significant volume of hilarious pedophilia jokes.
posted by quonsar at 1:12 PM on April 18, 2007

Dude knows a lot of good bad jokes.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:16 PM on April 18, 2007

*groan* :). I knew I shouldn't criticise someone else's writing when languagehat's about. I'm quite happy to concede that "myself and X are ..." is entirely grammatical if you say it is. I ought to have avoided the whole issue of grammar and just pointed out (or even kept to myself!) that in a comment of otherwise perfectly pleasant writing, the phrase "myself and languagehat are" was jarring (in a purely subjective aesthetic way...).
posted by Aloysius Bear at 1:17 PM on April 18, 2007

Is there any other kind?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:17 PM on April 18, 2007

but I find your protestations of political left-centricism, or neutrality, to be at the least mildly suspect.

I don't think I laid claim to either of those terms. In fact, I thought I was pretty explicit that I don't know where I fall on the spectrum for the reasons I described above.

It may very well be that in the end, I am right of center on somethings, but if you take my political views and put them against the typical conservative, you will find that I have very little agreement with them. I will have some, but little. And if you take me and evaluate me against a typical liberal, you will find that I have very little agreement with them. I will have some, but little. What does that make me? I don't know. That was the point of my post. I certainly never advocate conservative policies here or in my day to day life. Heck, I don't advocate policies at all. I focus a lot on the law, and the primacy of the law and our governmental structure. But what does that make me?

And I disagree with your suggesting that I attack from the right. When I say to someone that a particular action from George Bush, while stupid, is not treasonous, I don't say that because I support his policy. I just think the commentary offered is wrong. You see a lot of examples of that kind of hyperbole here. If we were back in the Clinton days, and this place had a heavy right bent and there were arguments that a particular action of Clinton's was treasonous, you would see the same argument from me. Because for me, the key is the legal meaning of treasonous and how wrong it is for partisan to usurp the political meaning. My is this: I honestly do not see anyone posting on this site from a rightist perspective like the shrill leftist perspective here. Or to put it another way, I see plenty of Kos, but I don't recall any RedState.

Finally, I disagree with your use of "partisan" which you accuse me of being. A partisan, by definition, is a fervent proponent of something. Now perhaps I am a fervent proponent of legalism, but I take your usage to suggest I am a partisan of the right. How can that be when I have never been a proponent of any cause of the right, much less a fervent proponent of such?
posted by dios at 1:20 PM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

I would put a tax on all people who stand in water.

Oh!
posted by Nabubrush at 1:20 PM on April 18, 2007

cortex: it's unfair for you and q to tempt me when you the have the power and obligation to delete them if I throw them out there.
posted by dios at 1:24 PM on April 18, 2007

I ought to have avoided the whole issue of grammar and just pointed out (or even kept to myself!) that in a comment of otherwise perfectly pleasant writing, the phrase "myself and languagehat are" was jarring (in a purely subjective aesthetic way...).

If it's any consolation, I agree with your feelings. That particular usage reads to me like shit on an ass platter, reasonable observations about deployment notwithstanding. Sorry, EB.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:25 PM on April 18, 2007

dios: puts hair on your chest. And you can always pop into #mefi and let loose there, eh?
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:26 PM on April 18, 2007

That particular usage reads to me like shit on an ass platter

A lot of people feel that way. But the only reason they feel that way is that they picked it up from other people that feel that way. In other words, it's about acquired snootiness, not the English language. It is virtually impossible for a native English speaker to make a genuine grammatical error, but it is very easy to say something that makes other people raise their eyebrows and make supercilious remarks. I was put on this planet to hit people with pig bladders when they make supercilious remarks with no scientific basis. [NOT PORCINE]
posted by languagehat at 1:36 PM on April 18, 2007

Wait, I thought shit was the expected garnish for the ass platter.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 1:40 PM on April 18, 2007

Did someone forget to close a tag? Everything's >small< in here.
posted by anotherpanacea at 1:43 PM on April 18, 2007

I take your point, and agree with the principle vis-a-vis the issue of hypercorrection and learned snobbery; however, while I can clearly not state objectively that my feelings are uninfluenced by the expressed preferences of those linguistically influenetial in my upbringing, I can remember having no particular issue with reflexives in general and feel I can state with some degree of self-conscious certainty that it does, in fact, sound like ass. It offends my ear (so to speak), and not my sense of propriety. The meaning is unquestionably clear and intuitive, and the usage defensible on that front, but yech!
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:45 PM on April 18, 2007

It sounds to my ear better than the alternatives.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 1:52 PM on April 18, 2007

I can dig it, man.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:58 PM on April 18, 2007

it does, in fact, sound like ass.

Wait now, are we talking about ass or shit on an ass platter? How can we have a scientific discussion when you keep changing the terms of reference? Also, what EB said: there is no neutral way to say it. "X and I" sounds pedantic (to many), "me and X" illiterate (to others)... it's like forte: no matter how you say it, you're scrod.
posted by languagehat at 1:59 PM on April 18, 2007

The correct phrasing is, "That other motherfucker and I."
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:00 PM on April 18, 2007

“X and I" sounds pedantic (to many)”

Myself and X probably sounds more (pseudo) pedantic to many people. But I avoided X and I not for that reason, but because of X and I are, which sounds awful to my ear. This is the point at which you just rewrite the whole sentence, but fuck, I'm not writing a novel here, folks.

Except, um, in terms of length.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:10 PM on April 18, 2007

I agree with Cortex about the assiness of that phrasing, and with Flo about the correct way to go about it.
posted by COBRA! at 2:24 PM on April 18, 2007

It is virtually impossible for a native English speaker to make a genuine grammatical error

Myself knew me were speaking good.
posted by timeistight at 2:27 PM on April 18, 2007

my good friend dios: can you link me to someplace, either on metafilter or elsewhere on the wider web, where you have "spotted bullshit" from some "hyperbolic partisan(s)" as far to the right as you perceive the partisans here to be "to the left", and provided an appropriately thorough demolition of that person('s/s') arguments?


I don't know that dios would ever have had the opportunity to have spotted any bullshit that far to the right on this site. I think I fall pretty far to the right compared to most users here and I scored -0.88/-2.36 on the test thing (not that I would ever post bullshit). If he had, any comment he posted would have been accompanied by 100s more handing the commenter his ass.
posted by Carbolic at 3:16 PM on April 18, 2007

I seriously doubt you really care to be open-minded to me

I'm not sure what it is that you mean, here, but I am sorry you feel that way, and apologize if my requests offended you.

You have mastered a very interesting rhetorical style, but I have only seen it applied to what is in the scheme of things an extraordinarily narrow family of topics; consequently, I consider my interest in seeing some examples of "attacks on the right" (a woefully inadequate paraphrase used for lack of time -- it has stopped raining and I am going to take a walk soon) from you to be sincere, in the same way that I would have a sincere interest in seeing a portrait by Rothko or a landscape by Rockwell: it can be fascinating to see which stylisms remain invariant -- and which do not -- under subject matter translation.

despite your superficial sincerity.

It is not superficial -- if I seem so to you I apologize, and tentatively ascribe the blame to what these days are lumped together as "generational and cultural differences", at least insofar as styles of communication are concerned.

So once again: I apologize for any distress my request caused you, and attest to the sincerity of my curiosity towards my specific request -- for examples of you applying your rhetorical skills to topics and positions outside of your normal gamut -- for the reasons described above.
posted by little miss manners at 3:25 PM on April 18, 2007

This thread needs more topless chicks.
posted by Eideteker at 3:30 PM on April 18, 2007

This site needs more topless chicks.
posted by Eideteker at 3:31 PM on April 18, 2007

Lordy you're easy.
[Not really topless.]
posted by miss lynnster at 3:52 PM on April 18, 2007

[Not really easy.]
posted by Eideteker at 4:05 PM on April 18, 2007

More top, less chicks.
No, that's not it at all.
posted by hangashore at 4:06 PM on April 18, 2007

;)
posted by miss lynnster at 4:06 PM on April 18, 2007

languagehat writes "prolixity"

Prolix is this weeks new favourite word.
posted by Mitheral at 4:45 PM on April 18, 2007

I thought it was like Netflix for chunky people with low-paying jobs.
posted by Dizzy at 4:50 PM on April 18, 2007

ahem,

the only party i would vote for,
is...............

the toga party !

*bows*
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:59 PM on April 18, 2007

But I'm on strike, and so feeling loquacious.

I'll strike you, you masher! And you! And you! That's not a fucking cookie jar, quit rummaging!! Goddamnit, there's a line and a ticket booth!? WHAT THE FUCK!?

Oh God, kind and powerful, merciful and great - I'll never, ever drink until I pass out again and I'll never pass out in the petting zoo and I'll never try swimming with the dolphins at the aquirium ever again and I'm real sorry about your dog and the whisky and that incident with the cheese-laser - but, please, God, please, smite these gropy motherfuckers down and you'll never hear from me again I promise please oh please with virgins on top just a little lightning or some falling space rocks or something please especially that Burhanistan fellow 'cause he didn't even take off his fucking watch, the asshole.
posted by loquacious at 5:03 PM on April 18, 2007

Free Silver!
posted by Miko at 5:19 PM on April 18, 2007

free tonto!
posted by pyramid termite at 5:26 PM on April 18, 2007

I align with the Know-Nothings, personally.
posted by killdevil at 5:36 PM on April 18, 2007

Weren't the Know Nothings agnostic about slavery? Well, to each his own.

*tickles loquacious*
posted by anotherpanacea at 5:58 PM on April 18, 2007

Tickles Loquacious was actually his grandfather's name. He was the clown who taught Bozo everything he knows about the art of clowning.
posted by Eideteker at 6:31 PM on April 18, 2007

So we have a quorum, killdevil?
posted by rob511 at 6:36 PM on April 18, 2007

Garrulous Bozo? Wow, I knew him when. The guy was so handsy he could goose you while juggling four chainsaws....
posted by anotherpanacea at 6:41 PM on April 18, 2007

I'm drunk.
posted by jonmc at 6:56 PM on April 18, 2007

I'd like to take this opportunity to declare that I am unequivocally Anti-lix.
posted by wendell at 7:19 PM on April 18, 2007

I'm high on life.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:36 PM on April 18, 2007

I'm high on brownies.
posted by Dizzy at 7:38 PM on April 18, 2007

By the way, anyone whose comment in this thread is longer than four lines is a neo-narcissist.
posted by Pastabagel at 7:49 PM on April 18, 2007

Weren't the Know Nothings agnostic about slavery?

How would he know?
posted by IronLizard at 8:01 PM on April 18, 2007

I am a card-carrying member of the super orgy porno party.
posted by madamjujujive at 8:06 PM on April 18, 2007

I'm high on miss lynnster's life. (Now that I've come down off of Dizzy's solvents.)

Hey, Diz, think you could, like, take care of me, man, just a little whiff, you know, for old time's sake? Lissen, I'm a little low on cash right now, but if you'll just gimme a little taste, man, I'll... Diz, man, where you goin'? C'mon man, come back... yo Dizzy...

Diz....?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:08 PM on April 18, 2007

Tough love, babe.
And I want my tv back.
posted by Dizzy at 8:12 PM on April 18, 2007

dios:

It may very well be that in the end, I am right of center on somethings, but if you take my political views and put them against the typical conservative, you will find that I have very little agreement with them. I will have some, but little. And if you take me and evaluate me against a typical liberal, you will find that I have very little agreement with them. I will have some, but little. What does that make me? I don't know. That was the point of my post. I certainly never advocate conservative policies here or in my day to day life. Heck, I don't advocate policies at all. I focus a lot on the law, and the primacy of the law and our governmental structure. But what does that make me?

It makes you full of crap? I disagree with most "typical" conservatives and with most "typical" liberals, but that only means that I'm not a complete idiot. "Typical," as far as I'm concerned, is synonymous with "strawman." Like EB, I thread the needle on a number of issues (and I will go find examples where I came out to the right of the MeFi crowd, if you like), but I'm not nearly so self-delusional as to claim that I'm apolitical. I do try my best, but I recognize that if pressed, other people would characterize me as leftist.

Your position is against partisans (as in, nitwits parroting talking points), but that's different than being centrist or neutral or whatever you're claiming. Just because your views are nuanced doesn't mean that they're apolitical, especially not in your case, when your arguments always, every time, without exception, end up defending the stereotypically conservative side of the debate. That's not coincidental.

Lots of people, especially lawyers, make that same argument, "Oh, I'm just defending the law," and it's always equally disingenuous. Justice Scalia is a shining example of that practice -- and I think he'd say the same of his politics that you say about yours, right down to the Constitution part. I think you argue much like he does (and that's to some degree a compliment, he's easily the best, funniest writer on the Court, much as I disagree with him). But in the end, I think that what Ezra Klein said about him applies to you as well:

...Scalia; people always point to his "judicial brilliance." But he's only "brilliant" in the capacity to arrange any given set of circumstances into an argument in favor of what you knew he was in favor of before the circumstances were given to him.

posted by spiderwire at 8:24 PM on April 18, 2007 [3 favorites]

To some extent you're right that at some point the political labels are meaningless, but that's a canard. Would you say that Ginsburg isn't liberal (or "leftist," if you prefer) just because she defines her views in context rather than via talking points?
posted by spiderwire at 8:28 PM on April 18, 2007

Crab dip is ready!
posted by Dizzy at 8:42 PM on April 18, 2007

Bath-house door swung shut, and BAM, I'm Emeril's bitch.
posted by Dizzy at 8:57 PM on April 18, 2007

That's bathouse diz. All the cool kids spell it that way.
posted by vronsky at 8:59 PM on April 18, 2007

They uthe thonar.
posted by rob511 at 9:04 PM on April 18, 2007

I hear Alton Brown has such soft, soft, hands.
posted by Dizzy at 9:08 PM on April 18, 2007

Klatu Baratta Nikto
posted by Balisong at 9:08 PM on April 18, 2007

Gay bats with hyphens.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:32 PM on April 18, 2007

I hear Alton Brown has such soft, soft, hands.

Mmm. Can he knead worth a dime? If so, can I get an orientation change? Thx.
posted by Firas at 9:35 PM on April 18, 2007

You know who I fucking EVISCERATE ON SIGHT?

Pigeonholers.

Yeah, that's you, StrikeTheViol.

For the record, I'm a cryptocommunist orthodox cypherpunk.
posted by azazello at 9:53 PM on April 18, 2007

I thought he got the crabs here.

But I'm almost positive he got the clap here.

And I really really don't want to know where he got the Rich Chocolate Ovaltine.

Good night everybody! I'll be here all week! Don't forget to tip your Dizzy!
posted by wendell at 10:05 PM on April 18, 2007

I'm wearing sensible shoes!
posted by Dizzy at 10:15 PM on April 18, 2007

Okay, then, I got a tip for Dizzy: stay away from yellow acid.

solvents are ok, though
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:23 PM on April 18, 2007

Yay! Sanjaya's gone!
posted by miss lynnster at 11:52 PM on April 18, 2007

miss l---
Who in the Sam Hill is this Sanjaya person?
posted by Dizzy at 5:48 AM on April 19, 2007

Who in the Sanjaya is this Sam Hill person?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:57 AM on April 19, 2007

Dizzy, you really need to get your head out of the oven, wipe the strained peas off of ya, and get out more watch more crap reality television.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:08 AM on April 19, 2007

I slave all day over a hot bundt pan, shove semi-nutricious goo down me little nipper's gullet, bench press thousands of pounds, memorize sonnets and ad copy, and serve as Supreme Commander of Cake (without sufficient administrational support, I hasten to add!).
Who gots the time for network?
posted by Dizzy at 12:39 PM on April 19, 2007

StrikeTheViol is now our most prominent lurker!
posted by Mister_A at 2:19 PM on April 19, 2007

StrikeTheViol is now our most prominent lurker!
posted by Mister_A

StrikeTheViol:

This letter is to inform you that you have been dismissed from the Lurker's Union. You'll never lurk in this town again!

-SteveTheRed, Self-Appointed Leader of the Lurkers
posted by SteveTheRed at 4:38 PM on April 19, 2007

Will someone PLEASE empty out the dishwasher?
I'm bushed.
I'll be in the garage, hosing off vronsky.
posted by Dizzy at 4:52 PM on April 19, 2007

SteveTheRed, I severely question your authority and competency as L of the L's, having simply to many comments to your credit on this site. Furthermore, I question the process through which you came to sit at this elevated position.
In short, you are a fraud, and dizzy and I are not going to sit here letting you pervert all that has been built by lurkers throughout the history of this site! This will not stand! YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED! DIZZY: UNLEASH THE CUPCAKES!
posted by Catfry at 11:02 AM on April 20, 2007

Cupcakes awaaaay!!!!
posted by Dizzy at 11:34 AM on April 20, 2007

Load the profiteroles, sir?
posted by Dizzy at 11:34 AM on April 20, 2007

Don't ask me, you're the all-seeing encrusted and golden tinted supreme master of cake. You know best how to wage this brutal war. I cannot take any responsibility for any untoward actions taken by you or your underlings. After all, a leader cannot be held responsible for the actions of a few rotten eggs under him right? *wink*
posted by Catfry at 12:13 PM on April 20, 2007

I really have no strong opinions.

tee hee
posted by LordSludge at 12:20 PM on April 20, 2007

Catfry--
Is your real name Gonzales?
And what am I supposed to do with all this yellowcake?
posted by Dizzy at 12:23 PM on April 20, 2007

Dizzy.. I do not recall.
posted by Catfry at 12:54 PM on April 20, 2007

Ha! Dizzy is a Bushie.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 12:56 PM on April 20, 2007

That's just his tail.
posted by Methylviolet at 1:06 PM on April 20, 2007

Uranus---
Thems fightin' words, pardner.
I vote for Hubert Humphrey every single election.
(If you're a youngster, google him. Beautiful, beautiful Minnesotan and a great political mind...)
posted by Dizzy at 2:44 PM on April 20, 2007

I'm partial to Engelbert Humperdinck myself.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 5:00 PM on April 20, 2007