But... but... one-star?!?

November 24, 2001 10:01 AM

Metafilter in one-star review shock! But wait - we can do something about this...
posted by feelinglistless to MetaFilter-Related at 10:01 AM (49 comments total)

Let's not. It'll keep away the 4-star whores who just come because it's 4-stars. Have I just created a new class of people? I think I have.
posted by geoff. at 11:03 AM on November 24, 2001

My name is feelinglistless and I’m addicted to Metafilter….

All the reviews should start that way. The more cult-like and 12 stepper the site comes off as the better!
posted by skallas at 11:04 AM on November 24, 2001

That's creepy how it has my old LA apartment address, complete with one-click mapping of it and everything.

Don't like a thread I deleted? Come beat me up! Here are the directions!
posted by mathowie (staff) at 11:33 AM on November 24, 2001

mmmmmmmmmm........mmmmmmmmm.........mmmmmmmm...........
posted by feelinglistless at 11:34 AM on November 24, 2001

I'm sorry -- I was meditating like a good little cult member...
posted by feelinglistless at 11:35 AM on November 24, 2001

Please note it may take about 7 days to post your review

Now that's fast!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 12:15 PM on November 24, 2001

Actually it only took about ten minutes -- perhaps they're expecting a rush from somewhere --
posted by feelinglistless at 12:18 PM on November 24, 2001

Alexa knows the Web?

Yeah, nothing like a company that bills itself this way not having up to date contact info! Although, for Matt, this may be a good thing.
posted by sillygit at 12:37 PM on November 24, 2001

Well, it's doing better than my cat's website.
posted by y2karl at 12:59 PM on November 24, 2001

On Alexa, how many "links pointing in" do these well-known sites have?

blogger.com: 17357
kottke.org: 1423
metafilter.com: 1380
bradlands.com: 729
wrongwaygoback.com: 703
jessamyn.com: 561
haughey.com: 527
dashes.com: 230
aaaugh.com: 220
randomwalks.com: 210
calamondin.com: 179
...
wholelottanothing.org: 2
denbeste.nu: 0

Something wrong down in the lower reaches of that list, methinks.
posted by rodii at 1:09 PM on November 24, 2001

yup, there's my home address [from three moves ago] and my phone number [you can always reach me at 555-1212] and a freaking MAILTO link to jessamyn.com. I updated it all to reflect my new address, on the moon. Should take 2-3 weeks? What is this, the post office?
posted by jessamyn at 1:55 PM on November 24, 2001

Hmmm, 3 reviews, each of 5 stars.

Final ranking, 1.

Alexa knows the Web, but not maths.
posted by iain at 2:01 PM on November 24, 2001

Hey, Jessamyn, you discovered the same thing I did, only my information is current and up to date! The map directly to my doorstep is also especially precious.
posted by headspace at 2:07 PM on November 24, 2001

I'm being reminded of the "I prefer my stalkers smart" thread from earlier this year...
posted by gluechunk at 3:13 PM on November 24, 2001

Just for comparisons:

At Random/rank/links

The T’inator/40,198/501
The Wondering Minstrels/31,300/153
iii/1,151,927/9 (the only blog before Miguel's to link my show)
antennaradio/317,601/591
Elsewhere.org/570,882/509
The La Rochefoucauld Portal/544,258/736
Culture Jammer's Encyclopedia: Ontological Anarchy – The Works of Hakim Bey/315,082/1,052
The Julie Newmar Backpage/12,798/126
Lileks.com/32,749/2,278
Hey, no fair, he’s got a picture!

The other funny thing is how the links change from antennaradio to my show: Corncam and The Daily Howler, too?

posted by y2karl at 3:24 PM on November 24, 2001

Yipes stripes! Good thing I've been averaging two moves a year lately or that might really bother me. Some one might wait for me outside the post office or something.
posted by jennyb at 3:26 PM on November 24, 2001

Yeah, Lilek's may be king o' the links but a Julie Newmar fan page is kicking his butt anyway... Er, uh, Metafilter's too!
posted by y2karl at 3:31 PM on November 24, 2001

"give me the keys the the charcoal-Buick grey background and ill get ya them other 3... (gets handed a note) ...4 stars gen-ralsir"
posted by clavdivs at 5:21 PM on November 24, 2001

..the nerve.
posted by clavdivs at 5:22 PM on November 24, 2001

I have no website or web log, only this little show I do. Cat who does Nubian Roots told me about her Nedstat counter, so I got one. It went up around 9:30 on a Sunday and, man, I had 57 hits. I was so excited. Until I clicked on hers: 120. But then I thought to write to Karl Erik at Expecting Rain (#1 Dylan fan site, evidently knocked down tonight) and tell him about the World of Charley Patton show I was doing after Revenant sent me the box set. He posted it and ka-ching! 508 hits the next day. Having found cheese at one end of the maze, I keep trying to pitch each new one his way. It is so cool to get e-mails from Sweden and Brazil. Plus I can find out how many MeFites log on from my user profile. And whether you're sitting around in your underwear, too. Well, almost--the detail provided is astounding. Hey, I just got one from Miguel's blog! Dang.
posted by y2karl at 9:54 PM on November 24, 2001

That's creepy how it has my old LA apartment address, complete with one-click mapping of it and everything.

Um, so Matt, are you going to give us your new address so we can map it out? not that you have deleted any of my threads...
posted by Rastafari at 12:00 AM on November 25, 2001

Did anyone notice that Slashdot's got five stars? I think Alexa's a little biased, and y'all are right. We should keep it that way.
posted by ZachsMind at 5:21 AM on November 25, 2001

Actually, to be honest, I wonder how many votes would be needed to bring it up to five stars ...
posted by feelinglistless at 6:58 AM on November 25, 2001

Also, has anyone noticed the related products at Amazon ... surely not everyhting on the web is about Spears?
posted by feelinglistless at 7:01 AM on November 25, 2001

Alexa knows the Web, but not maths.

Or there are votes (mine, for instance) without reviews. Or Alexa is using other factors to produce their star ranking. Or it takes a while to update the star ranking.
posted by rodii at 7:50 AM on November 25, 2001

Actually, to be honest, I wonder how many votes would be needed to bring it up to five stars ...

There's no cookie or IP address verification for voting often so you could probably write a script to keep voting 0 or 5. For all we know there are 1 million zero votes.

posted by skallas at 8:32 AM on November 25, 2001

Err, Zero or one. Whichever is the lowest.
posted by skallas at 8:33 AM on November 25, 2001

One star rating? One whole star? You snarky elitist bastards don't deserve a star. I spent months in therapy over your snarkiness, and now you've dissed my man Hoopty & blog or no blog, he is internet news, which you snobs chose to snub.
posted by kd at 9:24 PM on November 25, 2001

There's also the *inconcievable* theory that maybe 99.34908% of MeFi's 12574 members may feel this place deserves a one-star rating...what, with the new-found censorship here and all.

Can't delete my review there...

Toodle-Loo!
posted by EricBrooksDotCom at 9:35 PM on November 25, 2001

And you live where, you dumbells?
posted by y2karl at 9:42 PM on November 25, 2001

god i hate people named eric.
posted by lotsofno at 11:30 PM on November 25, 2001

People named Eric are cool. Especially Brooks.

If anyone wants my address, email me -- otherwise a bit-o-sleuthin' on whois would do it. I'm not hiding.
posted by kd at 12:07 AM on November 26, 2001

EricBrooks' review of MetaFilter on Alexa:

11/25/01 EricBrooksDotCom Pull the plug....
Why, it's the place to be if you want to watch a small minority of pseudo-intellectual "A-List" Wannabes ruin a great thing, created by the "once-cool" Matt Haughey... It's now a haven for nasty-ass people with empty, bitter lives, censoring people they don't agree with with harsh remarks and deleting threads. 99.8325% of MeFi's vast community feels unwelcome... and they all wonder why this site is only getting a 1-Star review from everyone????

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, Eric, but I'm getting a sense that you're angry about something that took place on MetaFilter. Are there any thoughts you'd like to share about that before Matt deletes them?
posted by rcade at 8:28 AM on November 26, 2001

MATH WITH ERIC

99.8325%
99.34908%

.4917% of Metafilter members feel unwelcome but don't think it's deserving of a one-star rating.
posted by rodii at 8:46 AM on November 26, 2001

rodii, i blame cosmic rays.
posted by moz at 8:52 AM on November 26, 2001

Plus, my subtraction sucks. .48342%
posted by rodii at 9:16 AM on November 26, 2001

We care about this why?
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:20 AM on November 26, 2001

Kafka, shut up and say something funny!
posted by gleemax at 11:48 AM on November 26, 2001

Uhhh

My wife was kidnapped by clams. They sent me a ransom note which was really confusing because they were asking for 1000 clams. I never quite figured out why clams would need clams. Maybe clams that need clams are the luckiest clams of all.

*Sorry, I was testing my theory that the word "clam" gets funnier the more times you use it.*

I think my theory was wrong. I now return you to your regularly scheduled, clam-free thread.
posted by Kafkaesque at 12:26 PM on November 26, 2001

Hehehe, I can't take users with names like EricBrooksDotCom seriously. Its like they looked at the rules about self-site promotion and said fuck it.

I'm kind of curious why its "pull the plug" for eric. How about stop coming here? Its like the MeFi server's existance on the web drags the entire internet down.

Does eric like being around "nasty ass psuedo-intellectuals?"

I'm certainly not suggesting that people shouldn't criticize the sites they visit, but "pull the plug" and the insults aren't exactly constructive they're just pissy sounding.
posted by skallas at 12:28 PM on November 26, 2001

Either I'm doing something wrong, or Mr. Brooks' review has been deleted.
posted by Mid at 2:51 PM on November 26, 2001

Eric's still pissed because he thought Kaycee was real. Sucka! If you're going to go, stay gone.
posted by Karl at 4:07 PM on November 26, 2001

How does it work out the traffic ratings? Who's measuring my hits for me, and where can I find that info?
posted by Neale at 6:08 PM on November 26, 2001

The US government, and you can't. (Unless you can break their 1337 "EBG-13" encryption.)
posted by gleemax at 6:33 PM on November 26, 2001

Unless you can break their 1337 "EBG-13" encryption

Do you double-dog-dare me?
posted by Neale at 6:43 PM on November 26, 2001

Some highly amusing reviews there now. Except mine of course. I suck.

(Get your mind out of the gutter)

Neale, if you break their 1337 "EBG-13" encryption, I'll buy you a beer. What more incentive do you need?!

(Get your mind out of the gutter, again)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:46 PM on November 26, 2001

the secret's in the code. < !-- mwahaha 0110010101110010011010010110001100100000011100100111010101101100011001010111001100101100001000000110101101101111011101000111010001101011011001010010000001100100011100100110111101101111011011000111001100000000 -->
posted by lotsofno at 9:12 PM on November 26, 2001

ouch. my apologies, i'll figure out how to work a comment tag one of these days. ::punches preview button for being a liar::
posted by lotsofno at 9:13 PM on November 26, 2001

Karl - Sorry to burst your bubble but a lot of people thought Kaycee was real and a lot of people think MeFi's full of snarky elitists. One has nothing to do with the other but what the hell, why don't you go around to the sites of all the people who believed Kaycee was a real person and call them names because of it? You can start with BWG...


posted by Kare at 7:04 PM on December 2, 2001