Government conspiracy / coverup?

May 16, 2007 7:26 AM

Why did the "what would the scientific name for zombies?" question on AskMe disappear yesterday?
posted by andrewzipp to MetaFilter-Related at 7:26 AM (74 comments total)

Because we can't have any fun on the green.
posted by allkindsoftime at 7:36 AM on May 16, 2007

Because it was this. Although I did notice that the deletion reason wasn't signed. Is that an AskMe thing?
posted by ND¢ at 7:37 AM on May 16, 2007

This post was deleted for the following reason: This seems pretty dang silly and open-ended. Zombies != free pass for chatfilter, prior softiness bedamned.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:37 AM on May 16, 2007

Although...we can have said forbidden fun here, as demonstrated with monkeys and bears (still one of my favorite threads of all time), so feel free to debate the scientific name for zombies on this thread.
posted by allkindsoftime at 7:39 AM on May 16, 2007

It was me, this is the thread, and the signed deletions on the blue are a newish thing; used to be they weren't, and Matt hasn't ported the functionality to AskMe.

It was chatfilter, and it wasn't even trying to present a focused question; as written it was basically "hey let's have a free for all on zombie origins, taxonomy, epidemiology, etc, and throw in a 'naming' query to maybe legitimize it".
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:44 AM on May 16, 2007

Thanks for dropping the knowledge cortex.

Also, it ain't rocket science people: "I am writing a book about zombies, and I need a scientific name for them. What would it be?" If you get high one night and just want to bullshit about something on the internet, it can be done. You just have to follow the rules. It worked for me.
posted by ND¢ at 7:46 AM on May 16, 2007

Ooo, you're a naughty boy.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:48 AM on May 16, 2007

Was that said in like a dry sarcastic voice, like "Oh I bet you think you are cool" or was that said in like a playful flirty voice like "You are silly but in a sexy way"?
posted by ND¢ at 7:51 AM on May 16, 2007

Because I both think that I am cool and am silly in a sexy way, so either one is fine.
posted by ND¢ at 7:53 AM on May 16, 2007

I'm imagining it was delivered as a tone-perfect compromise between the two, such that you can never quite be sure. And can't stop wondering. And you pick up the phone...and then put it back down. And wonder.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:05 AM on May 16, 2007 [5 favorites]

Playful and flirty. But I can be sarcastic if that's your bag.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:05 AM on May 16, 2007

I regularly visit Metafilter. Of course its my bag.

*picks up phone...and then puts it back down. Wonders.*
posted by ND¢ at 8:09 AM on May 16, 2007

'Homo Romerus'

I want to favorite that comment til it bleeds.
posted by slimepuppy at 8:33 AM on May 16, 2007

homo mortuus
posted by pyramid termite at 8:34 AM on May 16, 2007

Here we go! You joke with a guy about flirting and being sexy, and all the sudden everybody starts in with the 'homo' stuff. I was just riffing with that dude. I am a strict vagetarian. Jeez! A bunch of children around here. Grow up!
posted by ND¢ at 8:40 AM on May 16, 2007

Your ringer's working fine, just ain't nobody callin', man.
posted by boo_radley at 8:45 AM on May 16, 2007

If first answer == "Awesome." then delete as chatfilter.
posted by damn dirty ape at 8:57 AM on May 16, 2007

This is one of those situations where the utter awesomeness of the would-be thread could/should have superceded the rules.

No?
posted by ORthey at 8:58 AM on May 16, 2007

No, because then it becomes an awesome competition. Those who enter are not the ones who should.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:01 AM on May 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

So, the only way to win the awesome competition is not to enter it. Shitty biscuits, that's harsh!
posted by Jofus at 9:11 AM on May 16, 2007

So, the only way to win the awesome competition is not to enter it. Shitty biscuits, that's harsh!

I had an askme that was REALLY chatfilterery, so I didn't submit it. I win teh awesome!
posted by Big_B at 9:26 AM on May 16, 2007

One day we should hold an awesome competition. That would be....awesome.
posted by graventy at 9:58 AM on May 16, 2007

Ghouls, of course. A living person who has been mesmerized or subjected to a catatonic state can be considered a zombie. A reanimated cadaver that consumes the flesh, organs and internal fluids of the living would be a ghoul.
posted by Smart Dalek at 10:01 AM on May 16, 2007

'Homo Romerus'

I want to favorite that comment til it bleeds.

And here's where I have to give my partner the credit for Homo Romerus. I read him the question, and that answer shot from his mouth without pause.

Zombies have been rather a touchstone for our romance: his first gift to me, the first thing that indicated to me that he was truly flirting and not just friendly, was a small squeezable toy brain that oozed a blood-red goo. He was playing with it at work, and when I saw it and my eyes widened with delight, he insisted I take it home.

Yeah, he's the best.
posted by Elsa at 10:09 AM on May 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

Boy, talk about undying love ...
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:16 AM on May 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Heeeeeeeeeeearts!
posted by Elsa at 10:30 AM on May 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

... and braiiiiins.
posted by Elmore at 10:36 AM on May 16, 2007

SHITGRUNT
posted by quonsar at 10:43 AM on May 16, 2007

Somebody should compose a comprehensive post to the blue about moderation of community weblogs. Then link to discussions about moderation, and examples of poor/misguided deletions - including the zombie post. Any takers?
posted by grateful at 10:59 AM on May 16, 2007

Ok...

So I'm trying to write a book about some day in the future of earth bird flu or SARS or whatever wipes out the human population (like gone) leaving practically the entire rest of the ecosystem intact. Bears and primates battle for dominion over dry land. Who wins?
posted by allkindsoftime at 11:01 AM on May 16, 2007

Are the primates armed?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:05 AM on May 16, 2007

The bears.

The bonobos have other things on their minds. They're lovers and not fighters, you know.
posted by Midnight Creeper at 11:12 AM on May 16, 2007

I will never understand the fascination with zombies.
posted by smackfu at 11:15 AM on May 16, 2007

Smackfu, you had to be there.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 11:19 AM on May 16, 2007

Me neither. I feel that zombies and pirates are a poor man's ninjas and robots. Or maybe I'm just old(er).
posted by damn dirty ape at 11:56 AM on May 16, 2007

Midnight Creeper, in the future is there a guaranteed right to arm bears?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:06 PM on May 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ok...

So I'm trying to write a book about some day in the future of earth when Ronald Reagan is woken from the dead and fights a nuclear war in the Corto Maltese with a restrengthened Communist Russia, leaving practically the entire Metafilter server complex destroyed from the resulting EMP. Batman and Superman battle for dominion over Gotham City. Who wins?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:31 PM on May 16, 2007

Frank Miller's lawyer?
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:46 PM on May 16, 2007

I'm writing a book in which the reanimated corpses of animals are made to fight each other. I was doing okay until I got to the zombie bear vs. the zombie shark. Who wins?
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:02 PM on May 16, 2007

Diving tiger beats zombie shark.
posted by ND¢ at 1:05 PM on May 16, 2007

GRUNTLEFUCKING SHITBERG
posted by quonsar at 3:01 PM on May 16, 2007

I'll never understand why people are so into zombies. Or Chunk Norris.
posted by scarabic at 3:30 PM on May 16, 2007

Zombies, pirates, ninjas, robots, monkeys, aging action stars—all totally played out. We need something new. I suggest 1950s-style cowboys. You know, the kind with the pastel colors.
posted by interrobang at 4:22 PM on May 16, 2007

I don't love zombies, I just hope for a horrible zombie-fueled end of civilization.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 4:33 PM on May 16, 2007

FWIW, zombies prefer to be called "Undead-Americans".

Or brain-gobblers.
posted by Mister_A at 5:20 PM on May 16, 2007

interrobang: could they be showtune strummin' cowboys? I think we might be able to reach an accord.
posted by boo_radley at 5:46 PM on May 16, 2007

Yes, exactly.
posted by interrobang at 6:42 PM on May 16, 2007

I'll never understand why people are so into zombies. Or Chunk Norris.

Because they are widely considered to be badass, and surely you couldn't possibly be as ba... oh... wh-whatever you say, Mr. scarabic, sir.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 6:50 PM on May 16, 2007

Because we can't have any fun on the green.

That's because Frank Sinatra had all the fun.

When I was seventeen
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for small town girls
And soft summer nights
We'd hide from the lights
On the village green
When I was seventeen
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:56 PM on May 16, 2007

Do you s'pose Frank might ever come back as a zombie?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:58 PM on May 16, 2007

I'll never understand why people are so into zombies. Or Chunk Norris.
There's a difference?
posted by dg at 7:00 PM on May 16, 2007

I'll never understand why people are so into zombies. Or Chunk Norris.
There's a difference?

Chuck Norris doesn't decompose, his body roundhouse-kicks itself intro submission at the cellular level.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 7:20 PM on May 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

I submit that all the sayings about Chuck Norris be replaced with sayings about Sylar/Mathowie.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 7:23 PM on May 16, 2007

From an answer: Urban Dictionary: Homo Coprophagus Somnambulus

This word, coprophag(o)us, does not mean what you think it means.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 7:24 PM on May 16, 2007

the second paragraph is mine. sorry about the all [em].
posted by gauchodaspampas at 7:26 PM on May 16, 2007

Wait, wait, everybody... I thought we'd already established that it's Chunk Norris.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:58 PM on May 16, 2007

I'm writing a book, and I need to know who will win in the hostile take over at the end of the world: zombies or robots?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:01 PM on May 16, 2007

You're speaking of a corporate hostile takeover, yes? In that case it'll be the robots, as they'll have the better lawyers.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:03 PM on May 16, 2007

The answer is: Tardigradus* sempervivens
* 'Cause once it's dead, it's Homo no mo'
posted by rob511 at 11:41 PM on May 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

I was just typing a sheepish request to have 'Homo Romerus' explained, when it dawned on me. And I started chortling. Bravo!
posted by MrMustard at 4:39 AM on May 17, 2007

I have the answers:

1. Zombies don't get a scientific name. They, like triffids, are outside the current classification system. See also: Transformers, Were-monkeys, and Zuul.

2. Pirates are not the poor person's ninjas. Captain Jack Sparrow, for instance, is a good example of this, as he a) could never make it as a ninja; and b) doesn't really have to.

3. Monkeys always win. Eventually our planet will be taken over by them. Plus, they hunt in packs and can use ninja swords, whereas bears just poop in the woods.

4. The something new that interrobang is looking for: disco dancers. Chuck, monkeys, and robots can't disco and ninjas would end up stepping on those little pointy things they carry around.

I, parenthetically enough, can disco you @#$ off.
posted by ewkpates at 9:15 AM on May 17, 2007

Reambulatory Homophage Syndrome. Or simply "Zombiism."
posted by Citizen Premier at 10:52 AM on May 17, 2007

If no disease-causing particle has been found, then you are forced to refer to it by its symptoms. Home Romerus is awesome, sure, but we have to be scientific.
posted by Citizen Premier at 10:55 AM on May 17, 2007

Am I the only one who doesn't get Homo Romerus?

I am, huh? I feel stupid.
posted by trip and a half at 12:07 PM on May 17, 2007

King of the zombie movies.
posted by ND¢ at 12:10 PM on May 17, 2007

Am I the only one who doesn't get Homo Romerus?

Actually, I don't either. I just didn't want to be the first to say it.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:11 PM on May 17, 2007

Oh. Thanks Mr. Cent! (and grapefruitmoon)
posted by trip and a half at 12:22 PM on May 17, 2007

"'Mr. Cent'! I like the sound of that!

[spreads out hands, as if picturing a news headline or a banner]

'MIS-ter CENT'!"
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:33 PM on May 17, 2007

I prefer "The CENTinal"
posted by ND¢ at 12:40 PM on May 17, 2007

For future reference: eff your preference.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:04 PM on May 17, 2007

Weird. I used ask me to find out how to write a scientific name for mermaids. It had some great comments.
posted by FunkyHelix at 1:05 PM on May 17, 2007

Homo Romerus refers to a member of the Homo genus whose defining characteristic is roaming. Except it isn't spelled that way for some reason. Of course this is wholly unscientific, because zombies aren't a different species of human, they're just a... lifestyle choice.
posted by Citizen Premier at 1:07 PM on May 17, 2007

Or it might have something to do with seminal zombie flick director George A Romero. But of course, you knew that really. Didn't you?
As others have already pointed out. Sorry Mr Cent
posted by MrMustard at 12:22 AM on May 18, 2007

I know I'm all late to the party, but thanks for asking this question. Until I (just) thought to look for this question on the grey, I was afraid that I had totally hallucinated that zombie question!
posted by LiliaNic at 10:22 PM on May 22, 2007