WTF, Wendell?

June 15, 2007 5:26 PM

So Wendell apparently harvested a bunch of Mefite email addresses and sent a pointless message to all of them, and a herd of the recipients went off on a "reply all" binge with equally pointless replies. Now I have a mailbox full of crap. This is without a doubt the lamest, most wrong-headed bullshit move I have experienced here. Thanks for nothing, jerx.
posted by Kirth Gerson to Etiquette/Policy at 5:26 PM (293 comments total)

This will wende... oh, wait.
posted by the_bone at 5:30 PM on June 15, 2007 [6 favorites]

You take e-mail very seriously.
posted by smackfu at 5:34 PM on June 15, 2007

You, Kirth Gerson, are now officially off my Christmas card list.
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:37 PM on June 15, 2007

No email for me. :(
posted by monju_bosatsu at 5:37 PM on June 15, 2007

That was unpleasant, but only mildly so. Mostly because it was antithetical to my sense of humor.
posted by crush-onastick at 5:40 PM on June 15, 2007

The polite thing to do in these situations is to press the "Reply To All" button, write "hay guys i hope you like kittens!!!!" in the body of the email, attach tubgirl.jpg, and fire away.

Problem: solved.
posted by cmonkey at 5:41 PM on June 15, 2007 [5 favorites]

So that's who sent "wondercum - the all natural male enhancement".

Thanks.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:41 PM on June 15, 2007

And THAT is why you all need gmail.

Because for me it was all contained in one little piece of mailage.
posted by konolia at 5:42 PM on June 15, 2007

Can you take this up with Wendell directly? Aside from the fact that there are MeFites on that list, unless you want us to somehow change the way we handle email addresses, I'm not sure what I can do to help you here.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:42 PM on June 15, 2007

Oh lighten up.

A) It's friday afternoon.
B) You posted your email address in your profile
C) You posted in the thread about people putting e-mail addresses in your profile.
D) It's just email.
posted by empath at 5:44 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I didn't get nothin'.

NOTHING, I tell you!

I work, and I work, and I TRY to fit in, but no - it's always "don't let the commish in on this one". He's not - well, you know.

FINE. I DON"T NEED FRIENDS. I DON"T NEED ANYBODY.
posted by yhbc at 5:45 PM on June 15, 2007 [12 favorites]

Looks like someone needs a threaded mail reader.

Also, I liked it, it was 9622, but without images, motivation, or moderation (Hi Jessamyn!).
posted by blue_beetle at 5:47 PM on June 15, 2007

Anybody who would like to be included on Wendell's stock tip and penile enhancement mailing list please raise your hands!
posted by empath at 5:47 PM on June 15, 2007

I'm sorry this was inconvenient for you, but it really seems to me like you're overreacting (unless you're joking). The very worst that happens is that you have to check a bunch of boxes (what, 30 so far?) and hit "Delete all". It seems like you're the double loser when you make a big deal out of it.
posted by OmieWise at 5:47 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

In all seriousness I can see how this could be annoying to someone without a Gmail account.

I don't think you need invites for gmail anymore but I have plenty if someone needs one anyway.
posted by konolia at 5:48 PM on June 15, 2007

Thank you Wendell, that was fun.
posted by caddis at 5:49 PM on June 15, 2007

I did tell Wendell what I thought of it. The "Oh, thank goodness I have Gmail so this doesn't affect me much" attitude isn't much help to those of us who don't use Gmail. This spammage may not be against any specific guideline, but it's pretty damned rude. What you can do to help me here is take some steps to discourage people from doing it.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:49 PM on June 15, 2007

No, seriously, fuck off. That wasn't cool. Please keep my email out of this.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:51 PM on June 15, 2007

Thank you Wendell, that was fun.
posted by caddis

I second that. It brightened my day. Thanks to all who spammed me. And my apologies to all who received a reply from me and who were offended or inconvenienced.
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:55 PM on June 15, 2007

Email sucks! I told you so.

Bring back the telegram!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:55 PM on June 15, 2007

Here's the cool thing: Yahoo won't let you reply to all if the list is over some arbitrary number they've chosen. I suspect they gained this technology in exchange for turning over Chinese dissidents to the authorities.
posted by maxwelton at 5:55 PM on June 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

Jerx? Seriously?
posted by wemayfreeze at 5:57 PM on June 15, 2007

Who cares? I don't care. In fact, I don't care so much that I am going to type in a comment telling everyone how much I don't care.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:59 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Fair enough kirth gerson and brandon blatcher. You're both right.
But it's just been a short random event which made a few of us laugh. No puppies were killed.
I think this thread being here might be sufficient discouragement for anything further happening.
Try and have a nice weekend anyway.
posted by peacay at 6:00 PM on June 15, 2007

i have seen far worse. A friend of mine had a promotions list of about 1,000 people that he accidentally changed from an announce list to a discussion list. One person replied to his mailing with 'please take me off this list', which went out to the whole list, which prompted a few more people to do the same, which then started a title wave of hundreds of messages (Stop Replying! Take me off this list! Stop Replying! Take me off now!) that lasted for most of a day, before he finally checked his email again, realized what he did and shut the whole list down.
posted by empath at 6:00 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

The first one made me smile. They got progressively annoying after that.

In all seriousness I can see how this could be annoying to someone without a Gmail account.

What is it with you and gmail? Is it 2004 again?
posted by justgary at 6:01 PM on June 15, 2007

Pay attention, justgary. With gmail every last bit of email connected to these shenanigans was contained in one email "thread." If this had gone to my hotmail account I may have been a bit perturbed.
posted by konolia at 6:05 PM on June 15, 2007

I have a new appreciation for gmail. These things get really funny at work when someone replies all to a group of several hundred people, or more, and then come all the "stop it" emails, everyone a reply all. Put them all in one neat thread and it goes from hassle to cute.
posted by caddis at 6:08 PM on June 15, 2007

Also, I liked it, it was 9622, but without images, motivation, or moderation

9622 is dead. Lack of motivation.
posted by ColdChef at 6:13 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

i didn't get anything...

*cries*
posted by davey_darling at 6:16 PM on June 15, 2007

I didn't get picked in grade school, either.
posted by matty at 6:21 PM on June 15, 2007

Who do I have to sleep with to get on a spam list?

No seriously. Who?
posted by The Deej at 6:21 PM on June 15, 2007

This concept of threaded email/usenet reading had been around for about 20 years before gmail (or Google) even existed, so let's not attribute it to them, hmmm?
posted by Rhomboid at 6:22 PM on June 15, 2007

I don't really like threaded email. I don't think about it that way.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:26 PM on June 15, 2007

If anyone would like a gmail invite to use specifically for online forums like this (which is what I do, by the way), my email is in my profile. You're welcome to all 200 of them.
posted by muddgirl at 6:26 PM on June 15, 2007

First, no Valentine's Day cards back in 5th grade. Now this.

*also cries*
posted by lekvar at 6:28 PM on June 15, 2007

You don't call. You don't write. You don't spam. WHERE IS THE LOVE, PEOPLE????!!!
posted by jeanmari at 6:29 PM on June 15, 2007

I'm not sure what I can do to help you here.

Matt should ban him, and he ought to.

Meatbomb was right: He got banned for less than has happened around here lately. I submit that if a new user hand-scavenged a MetaFilter spam list, you'd ban him in a blink. But Wendell will get a pass because he's Wendell.

You take e-mail very seriously.

Some people take e-mail privacy seriously, and others get worked up about Kirk versus Picard. Most realize that everybody takes seriously something that others find dumb, and thus we grow out of "lighten up, dude" by junior high.

I just removed my e-mail from my profile. I've gotten hate mail, but it never occurred to me that somebody would hand-compile a MetaFilter spam list. Avoiding that is exactly why Matt set the site to obscure e-mails, right? So much for trusting the community.
posted by cribcage at 6:29 PM on June 15, 2007 [14 favorites]

lekvar, just so you know, I had a huge crush on you back then. Society wasn't ready for our kind of love, alas.
posted by maxwelton at 6:33 PM on June 15, 2007

“Most realize that everybody takes seriously something that others find dumb, and thus we grow out of ‘lighten up, dude’ by junior high.”

I think you only learned half that lesson.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:33 PM on June 15, 2007 [5 favorites]

This spammage may not be against any specific guideline, but it's pretty damned rude. What you can do to help me here is take some steps to discourage people from doing it.

I agree, and by "people" I mean wendell, who gets a pass on things because he's been around forever and is depressed and shit, but seriously, knock it the fuck off. Got a circle of fans who appreciate your spur-of-the-moment wacky ideas? Go nuts! Decide to run up to everyone in sight and fart at them 'cause it's so goddam funny? Knock it the fuck off.

And yes, I do appreciate humor. Wendell is not funny.
posted by languagehat at 6:34 PM on June 15, 2007 [11 favorites]

maxwelton, I could only wait so long. I had to move on. Can we still be friends?
posted by lekvar at 6:35 PM on June 15, 2007

Some people seems to have a very liberal definition of spam, that being "any email I didn't expect to get that was sent to more thanone person".
posted by smackfu at 6:37 PM on June 15, 2007

If I sleep with the Deej, can we both get on the spam list?
posted by misha at 6:39 PM on June 15, 2007

So, I take it that if you made a comment in that thread about having your email listed there's a good chance you got put on the spamlist?
posted by puke & cry at 6:39 PM on June 15, 2007

I second that, though it gives me no joy to do so. There's a word for what Wendell emits, but that word is not "humor."



It's "oyaji-gyagu."
posted by adamgreenfield at 6:40 PM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

Of all the things in this world to be angry at, being on Wendell's email list should rank very low in the pile, people.

Paris Hilton would trade places with any of you in a heartbeat right about now.
posted by konolia at 6:42 PM on June 15, 2007

Yeah but she has herpes.
posted by ND¢ at 6:45 PM on June 15, 2007

Paris Hilton would trade places with any of you in a heartbeat right about now.

Um, ok. wtf?
posted by puke & cry at 6:46 PM on June 15, 2007

I think that it was a reference to herpes. Paris Hilton has them. Or it. Whichever.
posted by ND¢ at 6:47 PM on June 15, 2007

Of all the things in this world to be angry at, being on Wendell's email list should rank very low in the pile, people.

Paris Hilton would trade places with any of you in a heartbeat right about now.

Good lord. That's like saying, "Nobody in America should be depressed! A kid from Darfur would be overjoyed to trade places with any of you in a heartbeat right about now!"
posted by jmd82 at 6:51 PM on June 15, 2007

I think that it was a reference to herpes. Paris Hilton has them. Or it. Whichever.

Dude, wtf? I coulda' used this information last night.
posted by jmd82 at 6:52 PM on June 15, 2007

There's also genocide going on in Darfur. So think about that before you worry about your little "email".
posted by puke & cry at 6:52 PM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

Ah, I see jmd82 beat me to it.
posted by puke & cry at 6:53 PM on June 15, 2007

Am I the only one who got excited when he saw "20 unread emails" in their inbox?

Yeah, it was disappointing that they were all part of this. But for that fleeting moment...

Also: This is without a doubt the lamest, most wrong-headed bullshit move I have experienced here.

REALLY? You haven't spent much time here, then. I see things on this site ten times a day that annoy me more than having to delete a few emails.
posted by ORthey at 6:53 PM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

Gee, is somebody talking about me here?

In the original thread that inspired my "uninspired" email, I posted the following:

For the record, of the 57 persons who made the first 100 comments (and who I manually reparsed the addresses of - I REALLY wasted time on this), less than 20 have replied using the "reply all" (some more than once - I also got 5 replies only to me) and 2-3 of them were complaints.

I just checked my mail and a couple of others on the list are trying to set up an "opt-out" for this casual email gang... I'll work on that.
posted by wendell at 6:12 PM on June 15


I have sent my last email to the List of the 57 persons who made the first 100 comments...

Here's my personal request to everybody: STOP WITH THE "REPLY ALL".
If you want to make an informal email list/group/gang out of this, reply TO ME ALONE to OPT-IN.
After this, I take no responsibility for the monster I have loosed on the MeFi community. You're the townspeople; you get your torches and pitchforks. I'm not in the castle, I'm at the beach.
-WW
It never wendells.
posted by wendell at 6:26 PM on June 15


MY Privacy Policy: I have NEVER shared any email address I got access to as a MetaFilter member with anyone EXCEPT other MetaFilter members, via this 'mass mailing' or at anytime.

I did my little jokemail knowing the risk almost certainty that others would follow. If that is considered a serious breach of security, then I will accept whatever punishment.

When I first started blogging in 1999, I was very much honored when I was included in the blogroll of Original Blogster Camworld.com. Later that year, I put up a joke homepage claiming to be by some then-famous hackers who hacked my blog, got bored with it and were moving on to much better blogs, mentioning Camworld by name. The guy named Cam was not happy, fearing I had 'made him a hacker's target'. I did not agree, but did not complain when I became the first blogger ever DE-listed from Camworld's blogroll. Such are the dangers of my weird sense of humor.
posted by wendell at 6:42 PM on June 15
posted by wendell at 6:53 PM on June 15, 2007

puke & cry:
Get out of my head, damnit.
That's just creepy (in a kinky kinda way).
posted by jmd82 at 7:00 PM on June 15, 2007

I spammed the jerx-store, but they were out of you.
posted by found missing at 7:08 PM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

If I sleep with the Deej, can we both get on the spam list?
posted by misha

Heck I think I'd just forget all about the list.
posted by The Deej at 7:10 PM on June 15, 2007

But Wendell will get a pass because he's Wendell.

why of course
posted by caddis at 7:21 PM on June 15, 2007

Paris Hilton would trade places with any of you in a heartbeat right about now.

Eat your fuckin' spinach! There are kids in Africa and Asia who are starving!!!
posted by ericb at 7:33 PM on June 15, 2007

Okay, this is starting to piss me off, and made a liar of me in the other thread.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:36 PM on June 15, 2007

Yes, the ironing is delicious.
posted by puke & cry at 7:37 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'd love to hear your original logic about how not wanting spam makes someone a "huge asshole", but I bet I'm not going to.

(Won't someone please think of the spammers?)
posted by Many bubbles at 7:39 PM on June 15, 2007

lack of interest

you should try 9622.com.
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:41 PM on June 15, 2007

or rather, don't.
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:42 PM on June 15, 2007

Those emails were only sort of annoying.

Email is awesome cuz you don't have to read stuff if you don't want to. Also, they have this thing now where you "click" inside the "box" in your "inbox" that corresponds to offending emails, and then click "delete selected" or "move to trash" and next thing you know you have disappeared the pesky email(s). You have to be sort of tech savvy, but it's pretty awesome.
posted by sneakin at 7:43 PM on June 15, 2007

I'd love to hear your original logic about how not wanting spam makes someone a "huge asshole", but I bet I'm not going to.

The "huge asshole" comment was directed at people who wouldn't want to list their address for fear of getting rude emails from MeFites they've irritated; you lose.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:45 PM on June 15, 2007

Wendell, THIS IS SOME SERIOUS SHIT, DUDE.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:45 PM on June 15, 2007

Pay attention, justgary. With gmail every last bit of email connected to these shenanigans was contained in one email "thread." If this had gone to my hotmail account I may have been a bit perturbed.

Yeah, I get that. I have gmail. I love gmail (though as someone said it didn't invent threaded email). I have 455334 invites. Metafilter is a pretty tech savy place and gmail came out 3 years ago. You're acting like you found the holy grail of email. Then again I had no idea anyone still used hotmail, so maybe gmail is breaking news for some people.

Paris Hilton would trade places with any of you in a heartbeat right about now.

This may be the dumbest line ever written on metafilter.
posted by justgary at 7:53 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Is there something you people won't complain about?
posted by milarepa at 7:54 PM on June 15, 2007 [3 favorites]

It's not necessarily "serious shit," but it does qualify as pretty fucking stupid. I can't think of a single reason to spend any amount of time compiling email addresses out of that other thread other than to be an asshole, even if it was to attempt to look funny while being an asshole.

People have been reprimanded for less, certainly, and if the only reason wendell isn't happens to be because he's looked upon as some sort of sideshow . . . it's not a very good sideshow.
posted by Medieval Maven at 7:56 PM on June 15, 2007

Weiner dogs.




Well, most Weiner dogs.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:56 PM on June 15, 2007

Aha! So, in your mind, it's entirely appropriate to take on-site grudges off-site, and we should embrace--nay, invite!--that.

There are ways to irritate people other than getting into huge flamewars wherever you go, or making shameless ad hominem attacks, you know. I'm sure you can even irritate a lot of people to the point of sending you spam mail without being some kind of troll.

(Actually, my much larger under-the-table bet was that that comment would get you to defend your statement. Awesome.)

Is there something you people won't complain about?

I'm sure there must be.
posted by Many bubbles at 7:58 PM on June 15, 2007

Paris Hilton would trade places with any of you in a heartbeat right about now.

This may be the dumbest line ever written on metafilter.

What do I win???
posted by konolia at 7:58 PM on June 15, 2007 [5 favorites]

This is disappointing, but not ban worthy immediately because I don't think wendell will ever do it again. People asking for a banning get one because they'll never learn.

Wendell, in the future, you should bcc groups of people so at the least you don't run into a giant reply all problem, nor would you have to share everyone's secret email address with everyone else.

But next time, don't do it, it really sounds like a bad idea.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:00 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yeah, what leftcoastbob said. The e-mail got me at a cranky part of my day and made me laugh, so I joined in. I apologize to anyone who was bugged by getting yet another "Reply All" e-mail.

(I still think it was funny, especially when it drifted into the definition of "irony," but I'm dorky like that.)
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:03 PM on June 15, 2007

Er...

What's the content of the email?
posted by qvantamon at 8:05 PM on June 15, 2007

Some people seems to have a very liberal definition of spam, that being "any email I didn't expect to get that was sent to more thanone [sic] person".

You might even call it unsolicited bulk email.

I'm really tempted to send my lengthy treatise on the relationship between chemtrails, the Usenet cabal, MK-ULTRA, and the deceptively-unassuming man who runs the ostensible "newsstand" on the corner to those posting here who see no problem with MeFite-on-MeFite spam. Please observe my near-heroic restraint.
posted by enn at 8:05 PM on June 15, 2007

This is disappointing, but not ban worthy immediately because I don't think wendell will ever do it again

Then could you put something in the FAQ about harvesting user emails? Something explicitly stating that doing so is wrong and won't tolerated.

'Cause it was a pretty shitty thing to do, to purposefully harvest emails and send a bulk message to them. Sounds like spam to me, even if it was meant as prank/example/lesson.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:12 PM on June 15, 2007

I'm not sure which part of mathowie's comment I don't quite understand mostest.

qvantmoon, it was just a silly 'hello' quoting some snips from the previous email thread.

The Corpse in the library, I don't feel particularly smug about the irony having been made manifest.

enn, it's all over now, no real need for being all tabloid about it.
posted by peacay at 8:13 PM on June 15, 2007

What's the content of the email?

I didn't have anything better to do... no, that's a lie; I have lots of
better things to do, but I don't wanna do them... so I decided to email
you all (or y'all, if you live in certain of the United States).

This communication does NOT contain "a nice compliment, or a useful
suggestion, or the chance to help someone out with a recommendation (if
you like that kind of thing), or even make a friend or two", "or hate
mail" or "offering beer or blowjobs or a goddamn job or something, a
kind word, a morsel, just a f###ing textual pat on the back for all the
hard work I put in here, just a little doggy treat to keep me going for
another day, you know, a paper cup of human kindness" or "high-paying
executive wonderchicken positions" or something "uniformly nice and
supportive" or "nice anythings either" or "hatemail and nastygrams" or
"fairy weiners and unicorn cakes" or "a story about a Chihuahua that
adopts a bunch of baby possums" or "asking whether you were feeling less
guilty about having sex yet" or "(female, BMI < 25) bikini pics orbr> "some class" or "entire treaties of Westphalia" or "photos of various
animals eliminating" or "another unexpected cock shot".

Just me saying hello and putting together a mailing list so I can
forward all the awesome stock tips I get emailed but can't use because I
don't have any money (stoopid spammers)

-Wendell Wittler
wendellwit.com
This email did not end well.

quite cute really. i don't understand the anger, but then i have a gmail address and the whole thing stayed in a nice neat little package. i think some people are just too serious.
posted by caddis at 8:20 PM on June 15, 2007

I don't think wendell will ever do it again.

I didn't think anybody would do it in the first place. And I don't think that's relevant. If a brand-new user had done this, you'd have banned him. If Wendell had FPPed a self-link, you'd have banned him. And I think what he did was worse than a self-link.

Hey, no surprise. Some members would have to literally urinate on your server to get the "lifetime-or-five-dollars" ban. But I think this warranted it.
posted by cribcage at 8:21 PM on June 15, 2007

So, in your mind, it's entirely appropriate to take on-site grudges off-site

In my mind and in the guidelines, on-site grudges are usually embarrassing clutter, hence "Take it to email".
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:23 PM on June 15, 2007

Don't worry about it cribcage, it's a BRAND NEW DAY!
posted by puke & cry at 8:24 PM on June 15, 2007

Some people take their privacy very seriously, others shrug it off. Whatever. I do know that as one who agrees with Mr. Gerson, I have removed my email from my profile. That is bad for the community. If it prevents me from helping one other mefite in some way, then we as a whole are worse off because well, Wendell's "joke" did not Wendell. While the mods would like to not have to take sides on this, they should understand that it is considered by many to be a breach of the community's standards.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:26 PM on June 15, 2007

Yes, it was a bad idea, which I realized about 20 minutes into my parsing all the email addresses, but in a logical move of George-W.-Bush-level stupidity, I decided "I have to finish or the time I've already spent would be wasted". I didn't even consider the idea of "sharing everyone's secret email address with everyone else" because these were all people who had access each other's addresses by all being MeFites. What I intended was to compile 57 addresses from the people who had commented in the thread, and let them all know that they were all getting the same jokey message... (upon preview I see it has already been posted)

I'm sorry for any annoyance this bit of nonsense caused or any fear of breached privacy (which I did not intend and still do not believe I really accomplished). Still, I apologize unconditionally.
posted by wendell at 8:29 PM on June 15, 2007

Well, I guess this is a good a time as any: what do people still find funny about the phrase "This will Wendell." No, seriously - what?
posted by tristeza at 8:33 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I file it under the "oh, those wacky kids!" label. First they t.p. my yard, then they tip my cows, and now they're emailing back and forth without even so much as a proper introduction. Where will it all end? Well?
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:33 PM on June 15, 2007

Wendell: Don't worry. They just want something to bitch about.
posted by milarepa at 8:36 PM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

I didn't think anybody would do it in the first place. And I don't think that's relevant. If a brand-new user had done this, you'd have banned him. If Wendell had FPPed a self-link, you'd have banned him. And I think what he did was worse than a self-link.

Hey, no surprise. Some members would have to literally urinate on your server to get the "lifetime-or-five-dollars" ban. But I think this warranted it.
posted by cribcage at 11:21 PM on June 15

some people can't take a joke. get a life. take a few deep breaths and get over it. yeah, the joke fell a little flat, but no harm was meant. jeez. life is too short for all that angst. (in the word's of one of the world's great philosophers - Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven Luke 6:37)
posted by caddis at 8:42 PM on June 15, 2007

Where will it all end? Well?

Only when you've killed them all, leftcoastbob. Don't be afraid - you've always known you were born to do this.
posted by Ryvar at 8:45 PM on June 15, 2007

NOT ONE STINKING EMAIL OUT OF THIS. NOT A ONE. I REMAIN CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.
posted by quonsar at 8:49 PM on June 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

For what it's worth I kind of find this funny. Once. And only If wendell does it. And not to me.
posted by nola at 8:50 PM on June 15, 2007

Maybe you're right about everybody else, Konolia, but Paris probably feels really sorry for Wendell right now. I mean, what is herpes compared to pissing off the internet?
posted by Methylviolet at 8:55 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, clearly the best part of this whole thing is that someone used a thread about trying to convince people to put their email addresses up to manually harvest a bunch of emails and send some unfunny "joke" to them, thereby giving people a really good reason not to put their email addresses up.

I know that wasn't wendell's intent, but damn if it might be the only funny thing he's ever done.
posted by puke & cry at 8:57 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

get a life. take a few deep breaths and get over it.

Huh? Nobody is ranting profanely, and nobody posted on CraigsList for Wendell to be punched in the face at a meet-up. Several folks simply agreed that what he did wasn't cool — that it was worse than past offenses that have earned banning.

If folks disagree, it would be nice if they could do so without the facile "other things are worse" or the infantile "get a life, d00d." (It would also be nice if I had a giant box of gold.)
posted by cribcage at 9:06 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

You know, it's really quite simple -- If you don't want people from Metafilter emailing you, don't put your email in your profile.

I belong to a caving re-mailer, which has a "no attachments" policy. Whenever there's a breach and someone forwards an attachment to the list, it blow up, like this:

1. Hey, jerkoff, your attachment, which was a breach of policy, took 49 minutes to download over dialup out here in West Texistan, and what's more, it's likely a virus, which is in all probability now running amok on my hard drive. (x3)

2. Oh, for crying out loud, it was a 68K jpeg, West Texas. Get in the 20th century! (x6)

3. CAN WE PLEASE TAKE THE DEBATE ABOUT ATTACHMENTS OFFLIST?!? (x45)

4. unsubscribe (x2 -- attachment sender, and West Texas).

It's always worth a chuckle or two.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:14 PM on June 15, 2007 [3 favorites]

Nuthin'. I'm good with that.
posted by rtha at 9:16 PM on June 15, 2007

Hey, no surprise. Some members would have to literally urinate on your server to get the "lifetime-or-five-dollars" ban. But I think this warranted it.

I don't understand why people give me shit for giving long-time members a second chance. Don't you do this in your own personal life? Say you're at a party and someone you met five minutes ago makes an insulting joke. You punch them (and that's fine). But if a friend you've known for ten years and lived with in college says an insulting joke, you think about the preceding ten years together and maybe tell them you're disappointed in their unfunny joke but you don't punch them and you don't drop them as a friend for one infraction do you?

People with a history of good behavior get one get-out-of-jail-free card from me because I know they know better. When Meatbomb kept posting war and peace over and over again, he seemed like a member I'd never heard of that didn't figure out it was annoying everyone and wasn't stopping, so I took his posting rights away. This instance was an offsite thing that taking posting rights away wouldn't prevent, so there's no point there.

If he does it again, he'll be headed for ban town, but I seriously doubt he ever does it again.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 9:20 PM on June 15, 2007 [11 favorites]

I was going to email you a giant box of gold, cribcage, but now I guess I'd better not.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:24 PM on June 15, 2007

"When you go to Ban Town, make sure you buy your meal ticket afore you head on in".
posted by iconomy at 9:34 PM on June 15, 2007

Hey! I just happen to HAVE a weiner dog! What a coinkidink!

As for the spam from Wendell, I feel very left out, as I was SO hoping to get some spam today. You see my friends, I really do need some help:   I would very much like to show girl/s my $E Xual strength and power. I understand that Generik ViaGraa is the solution to make my p3nis bigger so girls will not laff at me ha ha ha. Well, that's what I've been told, anyhow.

Also, I believe that my loan may have been approved! Even though I didn't apply for one! Woo hooooo!
posted by miss lynnster at 10:02 PM on June 15, 2007

Don't you do this in your own personal life?....But if a friend you've known for ten years....

Personal life? Friends? If we had that shit, would we be here?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:10 PM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

lekvar, it's OK. Still friends, but please "borrow" my swimsuit again.

Anyway, off to cook up some email for Ms. Lynnster...
posted by maxwelton at 10:20 PM on June 15, 2007

I am commenting here. Not that I have anything to say. I just hope that the next email chain, v. 1.5.0.1 if you will, includes me. Assuming v. 1.5.0.1 takes it's subscribers from this thread.

OPT ME IN.
posted by yeti at 10:36 PM on June 15, 2007

My threats aside, I think its pretty harmless.

However if it keeps up I'm likely to get pissed off.

First day is fine by me. But no more after this. It'll get old fast.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:53 PM on June 15, 2007

Oh I'd like to clarify that that comment wasn't directed at Wendell, but at the people who keep pressing "reply all."
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:13 PM on June 15, 2007

Is there something you people won't complain about?

People who complain about how much we complain get a free pass.

I just now read through the, uh, 32 total emails I received from wendell & co. It was a nice little diversion and I didn't mind. Though I can clearly see how one might be annoyed with the situation. Actually, there's one aspect of it I don't like. Most of the people who spent the first 100 comments of the previous thread extolling the virtues of Email in Profile (like me) had their enthusiastic arguments totally undermined by one giddy, lonely man.

wendell, I see your apology above, and I thank you for that. I'm sorry to harp on after you've already apologized, but I'm late to this party and just wanted to throw my 2¢ on the fire. We're cool.
posted by carsonb at 11:16 PM on June 15, 2007

Actually as long as we're talking about people who've written us, I have a serious question... anyone here heard from Dizzy lately? He seems to have disappeared and I'm a little worried about him. It's a little strange.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:21 PM on June 15, 2007

I must say I didn't receive an email from Wendell (clearly I'm not an A-list Mefite) but the copy of it I read here was cute -- not brilliant but clever for a Mefite. I must also say I don't disagree with mathowie's refusal to ban him over it, especially since banning him would not keep him from doing it again; I'll even go so far as to say I don't know why y'all're complaining, it was also silly and slightly rude of him but it's not like he made any threats or insults. Some people in the world today got literally blown up just walking down the street and you're bellyaching about an email "explosion."
posted by davy at 11:48 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Remember: community begins by harvesting strangers' email addresses on the Internet.
posted by Meatbomb at 12:07 AM on June 16, 2007 [4 favorites]

Yeah, miss lynnster, Dizzy didn't show up for the Providence/Southeastern New England meet-up last Sunday, like he said he would (neither, for that matter, did anybody else). And he's not registered any activity since late May. I've sent him an e-mail (we've exchanged e-mails before).
posted by Kattullus at 1:05 AM on June 16, 2007

Great. Just great. Yet another cabal I'm not a part of.
Grumbles mildly and goes back to mostly lurking.
posted by lilywing13 at 1:22 AM on June 16, 2007

You know who else said "If you don't want to read it, just delete it!" ?

That's right, every single fucking spammer on the planet. And look how well that ended.
posted by 0xFCAF at 2:40 AM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Pardon me, what kind of starburst did you say?
posted by puke & cry at 3:07 AM on June 16, 2007

When Meatbomb kept posting war and peace over and over again, he seemed like a member I'd never heard of...

That hurts, brother, that really hurts. First off, it was the fucking Treaty of fucking Westphalia. Second, I have been working hard to insert my tongue into your anus since day one of my membership. Never heard of Meatbomb? That was the third time you sent me to the corner, brother, and the name didn't ring a bell, not even a wee little one?

You are a cold and cruel man, mathowie. But I still love you and am ready to perform analingus at your convenience.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:38 AM on June 16, 2007 [4 favorites]

There are basically two types of people in this world: Colin Hunts and people who are about 5 seconds away from slapping them. Wendell is definitely in the first category (as am I, I'm afraid).
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:33 AM on June 16, 2007

Is no one else going to comment on the fact that apparently mathowie PUNCHES RANDOM PEOPLE IN THE FACE AT PARTIES JUST FOR TELLING JOKES!?

WHAT

THE

FUCK

MATT

?

No wonder our community is dysfunctional. Our leader walks around punching people for telling jokes! If the head is sick then the body is soon to follow. We all may soon go from harmless pasty neck-bearded internet bad asses to real life bad asses, punching people willy nilly. "Hey I got a joke for you..." *punch* "Ahhhh! What the hell did you do that for man?" "Forget it random joke-telling-dude at party. Its Metafilter."
posted by ND¢ at 4:36 AM on June 16, 2007 [10 favorites]

I'll even go so far as to say I don't know why y'all're complaining

I'm gonna reply to this, with the hope of explaining why it might bother some people.

It really pissed me off because I hardly get spam in my email and it's an email I use regularly for freelance jobs. Suddenly I'm getting a whole lot of spam from people who think it's cute to throw in a one liner. It's cute when I want to be a part of it or want to read it on the site. It's not cute when I don't want to be a part of and I'm trying to sort through client emails while dealing with stupid shit.

No, it's not the end of the world. No, it's not the most important thing in the world. Yes there are huge injustices and tragedies in the world that make this pale comparison.

But it was still a shitty thing to do, as anyone with a lick of email sense would have known and hearing that he realized it was shitty thing to do, but that he had to finish it just makes it so much "better".

Really, what part internet/email etiquette says hey, harvest emails and mailbomb them for fun? And does this part tell others to say hey, let's hit reply all, that'll be even more fun?

And Matt, it's real swell that you've been friends for ten years, but I've only known him for five minutes.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:48 AM on June 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

the guys a badass.
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:49 AM on June 16, 2007

What cribcage said. All of them. I was very busy last night, but I took a moment to try and find an email I needed so I could send a package today. I don't have Gmail, and I use the address that was in my profile for a lot of things. I have it pretty well filtered, so I don't get much of any spam. Imagine my surprise. To those who are thinking, "It's just a cute joke," also imagine having to scroll down a huge block of other people's email addresses to even see the cute joke. That's bad form in any email exchange. The wendellation made it harder for me to get to the message I needed. Not a lot harder, but that's not the point. My email is supposed to be used for my purposes, not somebody else's. When somebody else does use it for their own purposes, it's annoying. I have better things to do than click 32 checkboxes to restore my inbox to the way I want it. Wendell has definitively answered the question of the other MeTa post - this is why no email in profiles.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:01 AM on June 16, 2007

Well, I cannot imagine anyone using their primary/business email for this site when it is so very simple to have hotmail or gmail or Yahoomail or whatever for it.

I have three email accounts, for three different purposes. It makes life much easier. I highly recommend it.
posted by konolia at 5:50 AM on June 16, 2007

Seconding ND¢. Forget about Wendell, is Party-Punch-Happy Mathowie really the type of person we want in this community?

FWIW, I don't think Wendell deserves to be banned, nor does he deserve the personal attacks in here. It was irritating, but totally keeping with MeFi's glorious history of hoisting people on their own petards.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:54 AM on June 16, 2007

People with a history of good behavior get one get-out-of-jail-free card from me because I know they know better.

A "history of good behavior"? Whatever. No, he won't do this again, he'll do some other dumb unfunny thing. But hey, he's been your best buddy for ten years, and we all have jerky friends. I would have thought at least a week's timeout would have sent a message. But I guess he didn't kill anyone's pet or set fire to anyone's house, so what the hell. It sure looks like favoritism, is all.

Well, I cannot imagine anyone using their primary/business email for this site when it is so very simple to have hotmail or gmail or Yahoomail or whatever for it.

Well, I guess anyone who doesn't do things the way you do them deserves whatever they get.
posted by languagehat at 6:00 AM on June 16, 2007 [9 favorites]

konolia: as a fellow Gmail user, let me just reiterate what has been said before - we get it. Gmail is wonderful, threaded inboxes are teh shiznit, blah blah blah. But (a) not everyone uses (or wants to use) Gmail for everything, nor should they have to, and (b) the fact that there's a workaround for asshole behavior doesn't mean it's not asshole behavior.
posted by spaceman_spiff at 6:27 AM on June 16, 2007

I personally am of the opinion that it wasn't that huge of a deal (maybe I just get too few emails to be bothered by this set), but more importantly, I know that I don't get to decide what's inconvenient/annoying/an invasion of privacy for others. So for those who were upset by it, I feel badly. I also regret that more people will now feel the need to obscure their email addresses, and those of us who wish to write for benevolent purposes won't be able to do so.

On another note, and this isn't intended as a callout by any means, but I've noticed at least one person has written a lot about how angry they were, yet they sent one of the last "reply all" emails that I received. It may have been others too, I just wasn't paying that much attention (and can't keep straight the emails from people who use a different alias than their MeFi ones). Just curious as to why someone would perpetuate the problem, if in fact it was so upsetting to them.
posted by justonegirl at 6:46 AM on June 16, 2007

I'm in ur pr0files harvestin ur 3mailz.
posted by exlotuseater at 6:55 AM on June 16, 2007

okay, who was it
posted by petsounds at 7:01 AM on June 16, 2007

To those who are thinking, "It's just a cute joke," also imagine having to scroll down a huge block of other people's email addresses to even see the cute joke. That's bad form in any email exchange. The wendellation made it harder for me to get to the message I needed. Not a lot harder, but that's not the point.... I have better things to do than click 32 checkboxes to restore my inbox to the way I want it.

Awww, poor baby.
posted by caddis at 7:11 AM on June 16, 2007

Just curious as to why someone would perpetuate the problem, if in fact it was so upsetting to them.

I was going to carry the prank further to emphasize how it might have pissed some people off. But then I decided that wouldn't be a good idea and to let it go.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:18 AM on June 16, 2007

This will...oh, hell.
posted by oaf at 7:22 AM on June 16, 2007

Maybe it's the hangover talking, but this has been the BESTEST METAFILTER WEEK EVAR!!!1
posted by evilcolonel at 7:29 AM on June 16, 2007

Ah, got it. Thanks! :)
posted by justonegirl at 7:34 AM on June 16, 2007

Put me down as someone who wouldn't mind being CC'ed on the correspondence.

And for the record, if Wendell wants to communicate with a thousand metafilterians... I think he has the right. Of course, they have the right to block the stuff he's sending. I don't think this is comparable to spam. Spam's a different thing altogether and not nearly as easy to eradicate.
posted by Clay201 at 7:42 AM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

Any time I get messages I don't want, this is what I do:
1. check off each e-mail
2. hit delete.

Do some e-mail systems not come with this option? Because that would explain the rage I seem to hear here.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 8:37 AM on June 16, 2007

Ahhhh, gosh. I don't know... I'm just not that worked up. I'm not saying you're wrong, Kirth... but, damn.

It was a one-off, directed to just a few people in silliness. I did think that some people would be annoyed, so didn't do a reply-all for that reason, but I was tempted, because it was a sort of limited-time-only cozy joke.

I do understand why you posted here, because more than one episode of this would totally suck... plus, replying to all to say "STOP REPLYING TO ALL" becomes ridiculous. So, you're not wrong.

But Wendell is one of the least malicious people ever - though certainly sometimes guilty of humor that may only be appreciated by a few. And I feel responsible because I made a post about sharing email addresses, and... well... I probably should have seen it coming.
posted by taz at 9:10 AM on June 16, 2007

Am I the only person who expected something like this after posting in the e-mail meta thread? Ok - I didn't specifically expect a mass mailing, but I was pretty sure at least one mefite was going to send at least one email to me because I had posted in a thread about emails in profiles and had an email in my profile. I wouldn't have been disappointed if nothing had resulted, but I would have been surprised. And yeah, this sort of nonsense is why I have more than one email and etc.
posted by Karmakaze at 9:38 AM on June 16, 2007

Well, I guess anyone who doesn't do things the way you do them deserves whatever they get.

Someone got ~30 e-mails they had to erase. The horror!!! The injustice!!!! Pardon me, I have to go call my senator/future president and lobby her for legislation....
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:03 AM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

9622 is dead. Lack of motivation.

Shame. I never bothered to participate or anything, but I kind of liked knowing that 9622 was out there.
posted by gd779 at 10:08 AM on June 16, 2007

you're all losers. seriously.

next time, horse pr0n for everyone.
posted by Stynxno at 10:11 AM on June 16, 2007

I've also missed Dizzy, and have also emailed him asking him if he's ok.
posted by Kwine at 10:13 AM on June 16, 2007

CONTRACT PAYMENT INHERITANCE
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA,
INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT,
CORPORATE HEAD QUARTERS
TINUBU SQUARE,LAGOS NIGERIA,
TEL: [phone],
Our Ref: CBN/IRD/CBX/021/05,
CONTRACT #:MAV/NNPC/FGN/MIN/009.

Attn;Honourable Contractor,

Compliment of the season to you, We apologize for the delay of your payment and all the inconveniences and inflict that we might have indulge you through. However, we were having some minor problems with our payment system, which is inexplicable, and have held us stranded and indolent, not having the aspiration to devote our 100% assiduity in accrediting foreign contract payments. We apologize once more again.

From the records of outstanding contractors due for Payament with the Federal Government of Nigeria, your Name and company was discovered as next on the list of The outstanding contractors who have not yet received Their payments. I wish to inform you that your payment is being processed and will be released to you as soon as you respond to this letter. Also be advised that because of too many contractors that I have to pay at this final quarter of the year.

Please also note that from the record in my file your outstanding contract payment is $30.000.000.00 (Thirty Million Dollars). But you will only receive the sum of US$18.300.000.00. (Eighteen Million, Three Hundred Thousand United States Dollars). So that I will be able to pay other contractors, but my promise is that I will make sure that you receive your balance later.

Please Kindly re-confirm to me the followings:

1) Your full name.
2) Phone, fax and mobile #.
3) Company name, position and address.
4) Profession , age and marital status.
5) Your working Id/Int'l passport.

As soon as this information is received, your payment will be made to you in a certified bank draft directly from Central Bank of Nigeria. You are advise to respond immediately through this my alternative email address ([e-mail]) as soon as you receive this letter for further discussion, Have a Blessed Day. Especially you, Wendell.

Best Regards

PROFESSOR CHARLES C. SOLUDO,
EXECUTIVE GOVERNOR,
OF CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN)
TEL:[phone]
posted by jfuller at 10:26 AM on June 16, 2007

Yeah -- I've seen a recent uptick of Nigerian 414 spam in one of my e-mail inboxes. But, more prevalent these days are notifications for the many lotteries I seem to have won in Europe!
posted by ericb at 10:29 AM on June 16, 2007

I have three email accounts, for three different purposes. It makes life much easier. I highly recommend it.

Ah, mid- to late 1990s, how I've missed you!
posted by scody at 11:02 AM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Let me see if I understand this:

A bunch of people mention that their emails are in their profile in a thread. They do this for their own reasons, but it's completely clear that "so wendell can send me some stupid joke" was not the reason for doing so. So, when wendell takes it upon himself to send those people some stupid joke in a huge mass email that turns into an unsolicited longboat festival in their inbox, how is it unreasonable to complain about it? Personally, I'm going to go ahead and agree with the jerx assessment for anyone who commented in this thread and told Kirth Gerson to lighten up or to not take it so seriously. You don't have to be having a screaming shit fit to say you don't appreciate something, and even wendell recognizes that this wasn't cool. What you personally think is just cute fun is not the yard stick by which we measure what other people should or should not be okay with. I almost wish you'd had your address put into one of the huge spam optin sites you can find on the web, just so you could be told to lighten up when you had to deal with it. jerx.
posted by shmegegge at 11:08 AM on June 16, 2007 [4 favorites]

Your email solution sucks.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:15 AM on June 16, 2007

I have better things to do than click 32 checkboxes to restore my inbox to the way I want it.

Sounds to me like your frustration lies in the fact that you don't.
posted by forallmankind at 12:08 PM on June 16, 2007

> You have 6273 new messages in your Yahoo mailbox [delete all]

I'm not sure I'd even notice 32, more or less.
posted by jfuller at 12:12 PM on June 16, 2007

“But Wendell is one of the least malicious people ever - though certainly sometimes guilty of humor that may only be appreciated by a few.”

I agree with taz's statement 110%. I loathe to kick Wendell when he's down, but in the interest of objectivity I'll agree that his humor is perhaps not funny to most. I'll go further and say that he's often trying too hard with too little to show for it.

But he's also "one of the least malicious people ever". To my way of seeing things, that means he doesn't deserve the abuse he's getting here and it means he shouldn't be banned for a stupid mistake.

I am aware that people have different sensibilities than I do. Because this "I don't care if he meant well, let's string him up" mentality is so common, I'd like to understand it better than I do. For now, though, it just seems to me to be heartlessly judgmental. My world's got enough people in it who are actually malicious and who should be hanged, if metaphorically—the vaster number of people who are basically good and intend well but fuck-up occasionally are the ones who learn from their mistakes and who feel bad from the direct consequences of their mistakes. Wendell won't feel much worse than he already does if he were banned. The mistake and its consequences are punishment enough. We don't need to be punishing the well-intentioned who fuck-up, we should save our outrage and anger and hatred for the people who intend to screw things up for other people and brag about it. There are a few of those around here.

Matt's rationale for giving veteran members the benefit of the doubt makes good sense, in my opinion. But it's an unnecessary justification in this case. The fact of the matter is that Wendell, a three-digit member, has to my knowledge never said an intentionally hurtful thing to anyone in his entire history on MetaFilter. That can be said for very few longtime, high-profile members. And it probably cannot be said about any of his harshest critics in this thread. Which makes sense, I suppose. A sad sort of sense.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:15 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

Say you're at a party and someone you met five minutes ago makes an insulting joke. You punch them (and that's fine).

Really? It's fine to initiate violence in response to speech? Please take me off that mailing list, I do not wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by dgaicun at 12:16 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

“It's fine to initiate violence in response to speech?”

If you believe that the doctrine of "fighting words" is reasonable, then yes. A valid argument made by amberglow and others in the Chyme/konolia MeTa brouhaha thread is that speech has consequences. Some speech is actionable because it is so provocative. Some violence is justifiable if the provocation is great enough and if it's a useful response.

I wouldn't agree that punching a stranger in the face for a bad joke at a party is the correct response in all such situations. But I would agree if the joke were particularly hatefully racist/sexist/homphobic/etc. Or personally hateful or insulting. It's particularly appropriate for those egregious offenders who take advantage of our general respect for diversity of opinion as an opportunity to be maliciously hurtful via speech. Speech has both practical and emotional consequences and there are people who express their sadistic tendencies in this much more socially acceptable manner. Those people deserve a punch in the face as a first step in their resocialization.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:30 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

But hey, he's been your best buddy for ten years, and we all have jerky friends.
Thank goodness we don't all have cranky friends.
posted by fish tick at 12:36 PM on June 16, 2007

No, I certainly do not believe in "fighting words".

Violence in resonse to personal insults is antisocial idiocy. Violence in response to "racist"/"sexist"/"homphobic" speech is even worse, it's terrorism.
posted by dgaicun at 1:01 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

Metafilter: I'm gonna punch you in the face. Jerx.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:14 PM on June 16, 2007

Also:

Harvesting emails? Is this an existing internet term? Seems pretty dramatic. But then again, this whole post was pretty dramatic. And to even CONSIDER banning someone (even a noob, which he's not) for this sort of boggles my mind, to be honest. If the content of the email had been different, maybe. But it was harmless.

And finally, this post really reminds me of "telling." Like when we were little. I almost feel like this call-out was a worse infraction that what Wendell did.
posted by ORthey at 1:26 PM on June 16, 2007

But he's also "one of the least malicious people ever". To my way of seeing things, that means he doesn't deserve the abuse he's getting here and it means he shouldn't be banned for a stupid mistake.

I don't think it's as clearcut as you make it out to be. I'm perfectly willing to grant that he's not malicious, but neither was meatbomb, and he got tempo-banned for being too enthusiastic about the Treaty of Westphalia. The rules of MeFi are not about morals or spiritual grace or anything of the sort; you can be as sweet and caring as the day is long and still infringe them. Furthermore, if it were just a "stupid mistake" it seems to me he'd be a lot more contrite than he is. Here, let me quote a few bits from his upstream message:

Yes, it was a bad idea, which I realized about 20 minutes into my parsing all the email addresses, but in a logical move of George-W.-Bush-level stupidity, I decided "I have to finish or the time I've already spent would be wasted".

He knew it was a bad idea but went ahead anyway. You can call that a "mistake," but it's not what most of us think of as an innocent mistake that deserves automatic absolution.

I'm sorry for any annoyance this bit of nonsense caused or any fear of breached privacy (which I did not intend and still do not believe I really accomplished). Still, I apologize unconditionally.

He apologizes "unconditionally"... but he still doesn't believe he did anything wrong. He just knows he pissed people off and wants to make nice. Which is fine, but one suspects he thinks (as his fans here are openly saying) that anyone who objected to his little prank is humorless, overreacting, needs a sense of proportion, etc. etc. I mean, look at this latest childish outburst from a fan:

And finally, this post really reminds me of "telling." Like when we were little.

Right, we should never call anyone out in MetaTalk because it's like "telling." DON'T SNITCH!

Also, what dgaicun said about "fighting words." It's one thing to acknowledge that humanity is still so tied to its primitive past that many people can't resist giving in to violent impulses when they hear something that really bothers them; it's quite another to try to justify it.
posted by languagehat at 1:38 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

I almost feel like this call-out was a worse infraction that what Wendell did.

I agree with that 100%. I was thinking earlier today that, in a way, this whole thread is about the way some things might be harmless to some people, and offensive to some other.

To Kirth Gerson, what wendell did is "the lamest, most wrong-headed bullshit move he has have experienced here." To me, Kirth's "Thanks for nothing, jerx" is way out of line.

wendell has already apologized unconditionally. If this thread is about making it clear that we should respect other people's sensibilities, I would expect Kirth to apologize too.
posted by micayetoca at 1:39 PM on June 16, 2007

I would expect Kirth to apologize too.

Oh for god's sake.
posted by languagehat at 1:41 PM on June 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

Right, we should never call anyone out in MetaTalk because it's like "telling." DON'T SNITCH!

I'm pretty sure I didn't say we should never call anyone out. I'm saying THIS POST was a lame version of snitching.

And come to think of it... I'd say 80% of all callouts are lame.
posted by ORthey at 1:45 PM on June 16, 2007

Really? It's fine to initiate violence in response to speech?

What? Doesn't everyone punch people in the face for a bad joke? Happens to me all the time. The "being punched" part.
posted by The Deej at 2:16 PM on June 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

“It's one thing to acknowledge that humanity is still so tied to its primitive past that many people can't resist giving in to violent impulses when they hear something that really bothers them; it's quite another to try to justify it.”

Yes, those are two very different things. Thanks for clearing that up. Perhaps you could share some of your keen discriminatory skills and help dgaicun tell the difference between being hit in the face and terrorism.

The fact that your mother taught you that sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you—and that it made you feel better—should indicate to your adult self that it was a lie...just as most comforting motherly wisdom are lies. There's no such things as monsters. Yes, Lassie went to Heaven. Daddy beat you because he loves you. Mommy loves each of her children exactly the same. On the other hand, truths about the world are seldom comforting. Among those truths is that as long as there is violence, there will need to be some form of violence to answer it. Another is that no one knows how to eliminate violence. Another is that we all die alone and that, in death, we find oblivion—and some find that good, others bad. And yet another is that some words can hurt you more than sticks and stones can hurt you. You learned that when she packed her bags and told you that she didn't love you anymore.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:47 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

I didn't get any. Wendell, what happened to the love that was once ours?
posted by jonmc at 2:49 PM on June 16, 2007

He apologizes "unconditionally"... but he still doesn't believe he did anything wrong.

I did not intend to return to this discussion, in fact, I had intended to self-enforce a timeout, but languagehat, who I used to admire, seems to have maliciously misinterpreted my apology.

Let me restate:
I am sorry.
I did something wrong.
I used the MetaFilter resources to make a joke in a medium outside of MeFi, annoying some of the people receiving it and seemingly threatening others; other people carried it further, increasing the negative effects.
As wrong and as thoughtless as I admit I was in doing it, there were reasons some people felt it was wrong that I solidly disagree with, like the 'threat to privacy' angle which we can discuss separately (and later).

wendell, who gets a pass on things because he's been around forever and is depressed and shit,

Cheap shot, hatman, I have never tried to "played the 'depressed' card". It is something that I have lived through and that I am currently dealing with. Part of that 'dealing' may be an overreactive tendency to take things too lightly - part of the thinking that brought about this stunt. For most of the worst of my depression, I was not even participating at MeFi, although it did come out in some of my most self-embarrassingly personal contributions here.

I have not just 'been around forever', I have a history here. I joined the site before jessamyn or quonsar. I'll admit when I recently went back to add tags to my oldest FFPs, some of them were awful, even by my current standards. My personal vision of what this site/community is (and should be) about is different from yours, lh, and it's different from matt's, but I'm still here. And I will continue to "Do My Own Thing" here and anywhere else it is welcome - and if it ever becomes not welcome here, I can live with that. But I do know that about half of the recipients of the original emailing have "opted IN" for more of the same.

I thank those of you who have come to my defense, especially taz and EB for calling me "one of the least malicious people ever", although I plead guilty to being occasionally thoughtless, which can have just as bad a result as maliciousness. Which is why I pointed out this incident in 1999. So, yes, I have done something like this before, and I'm not going to guarantee that I will never do anything like this again - although I do promise to give a lot more pre-thought to future 'internet stunts'.

Puke and cry, who I constantly disagree with on matters of 'what's funny', hit the nail on MY head with this comment:
Well, clearly the best part of this whole thing is that someone used a thread about trying to convince people to put their email addresses up to manually harvest a bunch of emails and send some unfunny "joke" to them, thereby giving people a really good reason not to put their email addresses up. I know that wasn't wendell's intent, but damn if it might be the only funny thing he's ever done.

Which brings us to the irony that may be my ultimate "punishment" for this prank. As I noted earlier, I have received a bunch of "opt ins" for further email nonsense. Several people in these threads have complained that they were NOT part of the original list. Emailing lists are not my favorite format for internet expression and I've never wanted to be in charge of one... but I guess I am going to be now.

And for all the seriousness in this long comment, I am still having too much fun. Yep, time to tell the doctor to REDUCE the antidepressants.
posted by wendell at 2:51 PM on June 16, 2007 [4 favorites]

I'd like to speak up on wendell's behalf and say that being an old-timer does not sheild one from the slings and arrows of admins and other users. And if we break the rules, we deserve whatever censure is deemed appropriate. But the long-time users have contributed a lot and did a lot to build the site up, which should allow for a small bit of slack.
posted by jonmc at 2:58 PM on June 16, 2007

At least the next time someone starts a MetaTalk thread about how everyone should have an email address in their profile, people can point to this thread as an example of why it's a bad idea.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:21 PM on June 16, 2007

Is is summer or something? I swear that Metafilter has gotten like 10 times stupider in the last two weeks.
posted by nanojath at 3:27 PM on June 16, 2007

Is is summer or something? I swear that Metafilter has gotten like 10 times stupider in the last two weeks.
posted by nanojath

It's not us, it's you, man. You've gotten a lot more intelligent lately.
posted by micayetoca at 3:35 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

Metafilter: I still love you and am ready to perform analingus at your convenience.
posted by bardic at 3:52 PM on June 16, 2007

I have never tried to "played the 'depressed' card".

I didn't say you had, I speculated that that was one reason mathowie was going easy on you. Look, I wasn't attacking you as a human being, I'm sure you're a great guy, and I wasn't even calling down the wrath of the gods on you. I don't think your stunt was all that terrible. But it offends me to see people treating it as a fun little lark that doesn't even deserve a slap on the wrist. You knew it was wrong and you went ahead anyway. But... whatever (as the kids say). It's not that big a deal, and it's pretty much been settled. I apologize for misunderstanding the apologeticness of your apology; I assure you it wasn't malicious, but you have to admit there have been a lot of non-apology apologies around here, so that influenced me in the direction of skepticism. And this still bothers me:

My personal vision of what this site/community is (and should be) about is different from yours, lh, and it's different from matt's, but I'm still here. And I will continue to "Do My Own Thing" here and anywhere else it is welcome - and if it ever becomes not welcome here, I can live with that. But I do know that about half of the recipients of the original emailing have "opted IN" for more of the same.

It's great that some people liked your stunt and "opted in," but if you think that's any kind of justification for it, you're wrong. Some people like phone solicitations, too. You share your fun with those who you know will like it, you don't just toss it at everyone and see who runs.

But what the hell. I bear you no ill will, despite how it seemed to you, and I hope you stick around.
posted by languagehat at 4:04 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

caddis writes 'Awww, poor baby.'

I completely agree with you caddis. Another thing that pisses me off is all those people who complain about some of the less than stellar posts that we have on the front page. I mean, why the hell can't they just scroll up the screen and move on instead of whining about it in the thread, calling people out here, etc. etc. ad infinitum.

I mean, how much effort does it take to click that back button?

Alternatively, perhaps you'd like to come around to my house and moderate my email on my behalf?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:26 PM on June 16, 2007

wendell has already apologized unconditionally. If this thread is about making it clear that we should respect other people's sensibilities, I would expect Kirth to apologize too.
posted by micayetoca

At the time I made this post, Wendell had not apologized. Just a wild guess, but I bet the thread had something to do with his eventual apology, such as it is. The post is not about making clear we should blahblahblah; it's about trying to head off another instance of somebody figuring out a new way of doing something stupid just because it isn't specifically prohibited. You expect me to apologize to the people who fiiled up our inboxes with their reply-alls, because I called them jerx? I hope you're holding your breath.

As for Mathowie's inclination to give old-timers a break when they transgress - am I the only one who thinks that's exactly backward? Very often someone writes "You've been around here long enough to know better." Is that wrong, and does it not apply to this situation? In fact, haven't all of the mods used that statement to chastise someone?

Then there's this: So, yes, I have done something like this before, and I'm not going to guarantee that I will never do anything like this again - although I do promise to give a lot more pre-thought to future 'internet stunts'. Are we supposed to look forward to the next time?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:29 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

languagehat (1): "As for wendell, I've never met him, so I have nothing to go on but his MeFi presence, which to me is pretty much the definition of "annoying." Not "evil," and I don't want him to go away or anything, but I can't make "great guy" fit."

languagehat (2): "Look, I wasn't attacking you as a human being, I'm sure you're a great guy..."
posted by Aloysius Bear at 4:35 PM on June 16, 2007 [4 favorites]

Okay, so nobody's ever gonna be happy, but we need closure here. Seems there is only one thing left to do.

Wendell, lick the electric fence.
posted by miss lynnster at 4:37 PM on June 16, 2007

And this still bothers me:

Don't you understand, wendell? Your apology must be total and abject. Full of self-flagellation and unremitting remorse. At no point are you permitted to make a broader, contextual statement, for you have transgressed.

Be grateful that MeFi's resident scold isn't demanding that you flame out in the interest of collective amusement.


nah, fuck that. shine on and be your crazy self. it's the internet and you are among friends.
posted by felix betachat at 4:40 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

My suggestion is that we all move on from this very odd little blip that happened in cyberspace because we are adults!
posted by ORthey at 4:57 PM on June 16, 2007

My suggestion is we rename Metatalk "MetaBitch."

It'd be more accurate.
posted by milarepa at 5:07 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

Actually, what wendell did was a lot less offensive than what others of us (and yes, I am including you, Brandon Blatcher, in this) did. He wrote one email and sent it to a bunch of people. It seems that some of us (okay--many of us) replied to all with dumb comments.

Since people seem to be pissed about getting multiple dumb emails, I am as much at fault as wendell. He sent one and I replied to all on it. It had made me smile when I received it so I wanted to pass on the love.

If you're going to be pissed, be as pissed at me as you are at him because I am just as much at fault for the full in-boxes.
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:14 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Aloysius Bear: The contradiction is only apparent. The first quote is about his MeFi presence, which to me is annoying. I don't know him personally. Those who do seem to think he's a great guy, and I'm not disputing that—I have no reason to doubt it. As I've said plenty of times, I have annoying friends, and I suspect most of us do. But this is not really about him, it's about the reaction to his hijinks. Here's how I see it:

Interior: Courthouse of Possum Balls, Alabama, one sweaty afternoon.

Bailiff: All rise, this court is now in session, the Honorable Matt Haughey presiding.

[First case: a young out-of-towner, Meatbomb, caught doing twenty in a 10 MPH zone.]

Judge Haughey: Now, bwah, we don' tol'rate that kind o' disrespect fer the laws of this here county. Two weeks in the slammer—take him away, bailiff!

[Second case: Good Ol' Unca Wendell, who's lived in Possum Balls since before anybody can remember and plays poker with the judge, the D.A., the postmaster, and the school superintendent every Friday night, caught spray-painting obscenities on the wall of the Bijou.]

Judge Haughey: Well, well, if it ain't Good Ol' Unca Wendell! Bless mah soul, if you put as much effort into your poker game as you do into these here crazy stunts o' yours, I wouldn't have that nice new Cadillac!

[general laughter]

Now, Unca Wendell [mock-stern look], I know you're mighty sorry fer what you done. [Unca Wendell nods contritely.] I'm gonna hafta sentence you... [mischievous look] to time served! [general laughter, applause] Now, who's got the whiskey bottle? Handin' out justice gives a man a powerful thirst!
posted by languagehat at 5:17 PM on June 16, 2007 [4 favorites]

Really? It's fine to initiate violence in response to speech?

Oh for fucks sake, I was using hyperbole in an imaginary situation to compare with how people react here. It's called an analogy. Sometimes they're not actually real and they didn't actually happen.

For all the literalists here: I haven't ever met wendell and I haven't known him for ten years and I've never punched anyone in the face in my life, nor do I think that's an appropriate reaction to a joke, much like ZOMG BAN HIS ASS doesn't seem appropriate to a one-time mistake by a veteran member.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 5:19 PM on June 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

I completely agree with you caddis. Another thing that pisses me off is all those people who complain about some of the less than stellar posts that we have on the front page. I mean, why the hell can't they just scroll up the screen and move on instead of whining about it in the thread, calling people out here, etc. etc. ad infinitum.

I mean, how much effort does it take to click that back button?

Alternatively, perhaps you'd like to come around to my house and moderate my email on my behalf?

Well, I think most of the people who complain about weak fpps are wankers. sorry. I would be happy to come to your house and moderate your email, I am sure you would pay my expenses and be a most generous host so the joy of visitation would more than pay for the effort of moderation. However, you might not like my moderation style....
posted by caddis at 5:25 PM on June 16, 2007

You know who else didn't punch people in the face?
posted by bardic at 5:53 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

You expect me to apologize to the people who fiiled up our inboxes with their reply-alls, because I called them jerx?

Sorry, Kirth, my bad. I made it sound like I would be expecting an apology from you, when I actually meant to say that I would imagine, after things cooled down, that you would apologize saying something like "sorry for saying you are jerx, it was the heat of the moment, no hard feelings" or something like that. I am not actively waiting for you to do it, I just thought you would.

I hope you're holding your breath.

Why? because of the bad smell of this thread?
posted by micayetoca at 6:09 PM on June 16, 2007

I went to an Asian festival today, sampled lots of good food, saw fabulous costumes and heard good music. In light of all that, this email thing, meaning sending it, being pissed about it and caring enough either way to post in this thread about seems kinda silly.

In short, the sun is shining, birds are chirping and the none of the other space shuttles have blown up.

No group hug though, since most of you have restraining orders for something and the rest of you get too grabby without being me drinks first.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:18 PM on June 16, 2007

Wendell, lick the electric fence.
But even I am not dumb enough to whiz on it.

I could raise issue with the choice of infractions languagehat used in his Hillbilly Court analogy (I would never spray-paint obscenities on the wall of anyplace, that's quonsar's schtick, I'd be more likely to change the speed limit signs so visitors like Meatbomb would think it was legal to drive 55 in what is really a 35 zone), but I won't. I just can't help trying to extract semi-concealed meanings from the statements of the site's #1 expert on precise language and self-proclaimed pedant.

Anyway, even here where "there have been a lot of non-apology apologies", I must fully accept Brandon's statement above in the spirit it is given and say to everyone else (in a much more many voice than Rodney King) "Can't we all just get along?" Or failing that, "Can't we all just GYOFB?"
posted by wendell at 6:42 PM on June 16, 2007

I'd be more likely to change the speed limit signs so visitors like Meatbomb would think it was legal to drive 55 in what is really a 35 zone

WENDELL WANTS TO MURDER CHILDREN!
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 7:20 PM on June 16, 2007

...and I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dumb Lentrohamsanin...
posted by wendell at 7:24 PM on June 16, 2007

Since people seem to be pissed about getting multiple dumb emails, I am as much at fault as wendell. He sent one and I replied to all on it. It had made me smile when I received it so I wanted to pass on the love.

If you're going to be pissed, be as pissed at me as you are at him because I am just as much at fault for the full in-boxes.
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:14 PM on June 16 [+] [!]

"I'm Wendell!"
posted by the other side at 7:55 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

How date ANYONE break the fourth wall?!?!? But when they do, don't think of it as an errant email thread, think of it as performance art.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:03 PM on June 16, 2007

Also, c'mon. Matt said "You punch them (and that's fine)." He never said "punch them in the face". cribcage said that in a prior comment.

Matt weighs like 165 dripping wet. If he punched someone in the face, he'd get the shit beat out of him.

So let's be realistic here.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:19 PM on June 16, 2007

Man, 'Hat's been grouchy lately.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:19 PM on June 16, 2007

If leftcoastbob is Wendell, then I'm Spartacus. Or my name is Gladiator. Or maybe Ben-Hur. And we are all different! I'm not! And this is SPARTAAAA!!! And tonight we dine at Sizzler because I have a coupon. And I have come to bury myself in the Caesar Salad... Mother of Mercy! Is this the end of Rico? Say hello to my little friend. Do I make you laugh? DON'T STO
posted by wendell at 8:26 PM on June 16, 2007

You people are so gullible. This is the new Wendell. Remember, he sold his handle! (Look it up, I'm too lazy.)
posted by The Deej at 8:46 PM on June 16, 2007

No, the deej, that deal fell through because the buyer wouldn't give me his firstborn.
posted by wendell at 10:47 PM on June 16, 2007

I have better things to do than read this thread, I have emails to click. So I hope it all worked out in the end.
posted by 31d1 at 11:29 PM on June 16, 2007

Am I too late for the outrage?
posted by Krrrlson at 11:31 PM on June 16, 2007

Cause I have a lot of outrage to contribute on various issues.
posted by Krrrlson at 11:31 PM on June 16, 2007

Yes, it did all wendell.
posted by wendell at 11:32 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

No, the deej, that deal fell through because the buyer wouldn't give me his firstborn.
posted by wendell

Well, yaaaa that's what you told me before. And that's what you say now... but... what's a better cover for the change in identity than to deny it happened?

Huh? Huh????

Huh?

posted by The Deej at 11:53 PM on June 16, 2007

IS MY NAME CRIBCAGE MOTHERFUCKER!?!?!?!

I am so going to punch you in the face.

Analagorically.
posted by ND¢ at 7:42 AM on June 17, 2007

As for you, The Deej, I rejected YOUR offer even when you included your firstborn. That was some ugly ass baby!
posted by wendell at 8:34 AM on June 17, 2007

Sorry about that, ND¢, it was late.

Now, let's discuss this anal thing.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:51 AM on June 17, 2007

Okay now we're all just insulting each other's children and threatening to punch each other in the face. Maybe we need to all just take a breath and step away from the keyboards and... Oh wait this is MetaTalk isn't it? Oh well then, carry on.
posted by ND¢ at 8:51 AM on June 17, 2007

On preview: MetaTalk: Now, let's discuss this anal thing.
posted by ND¢ at 8:53 AM on June 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

As a resident of Possum Balls, Alabama, I object to that offensive characterization of our little corner of paradise.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:01 AM on June 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

Man, 'Hat's been grouchy lately.

Yeah, I have been. It's finally getting really hot, my mother-in-law is staying with us, and it looks like we're going to move yet again (after moving from NYC to Peekskill and Peekskill to Pittsfield in the last few years), which involves all sorts of preparations I don't even want to think about. I would not have thought well of wendell's prank in any case, but I probably wouldn't have been quite so snarky if I were in better humor.

Also, I apologize to all residents of Possum Balls, Alabama. It was unfair to your fine community to use it as the backdrop for an unseemly tale of judicial malfeasance and community complicity.
posted by languagehat at 9:17 AM on June 17, 2007

As for you, The Deej, I rejected YOUR offer even when you included your firstborn. That was some ugly ass baby!
posted by wendell

...and after all my effort to genetically engineer him to look like you in order to fit in with your family. Some gratitude...
posted by The Deej at 9:21 AM on June 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

"...my mother-in-law is staying with us..."

Say no more. You are hereby excused for anything up to and including homicide.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:25 AM on June 17, 2007

Can my mother-in-law stay with you?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:08 AM on June 17, 2007

It's finally getting really hot, my mother-in-law is staying with us

OoOoh, yeah, you dawg!

Everything's sexayier if you only read the first line of people's comments.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:36 AM on June 17, 2007

I've got both the in-laws here. And when the 'stunt' landed, I was playing single parent, because my wife was away on a trip. All that's what my 'really busy' was about.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:41 AM on June 17, 2007

Interesting. It appears that the MeFites who took my prank most badly were in close proximity to mothers-in-law at the time. Somebody should do a clinical study of that phenomenon. Still, as a final act of penitence for my email-tomfoolery, I will be spending the next week with my ex-wife's mother. I hope she understands it's for the Good of the Internet.
posted by wendell at 2:49 PM on June 17, 2007

as a final act of penitence for my email-tomfoolery, I will be spending the next week with my ex-wife's mother.

All is forgiven!
posted by languagehat at 3:29 PM on June 17, 2007

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by BeerFilter at 3:45 PM on June 17, 2007

Has anyone ever been punched in the face at a party? Cause I sure have.

(meet me at the Canoe House in Amsterdam Deej.)
posted by vronsky at 3:45 PM on June 17, 2007

* sings Lorena softly to languagehat, then kicks him in his possum balls.
posted by vronsky at 3:52 PM on June 17, 2007

BeerFilter, you may need to be more specific.
posted by Kattullus at 4:42 PM on June 17, 2007

BeerFilter, you may need to be more specific.

Pre-analingusism.
posted by stirfry at 4:54 PM on June 17, 2007

*weeps from a combination of Lorena-joy and ball-pain*

BeerFilter, you may need to be more specific.

Not really. We're all assholes on this bus.
posted by languagehat at 5:43 PM on June 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by BeerFilter

This post isn't nasty enough without you bringing religion into it, too??
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:52 PM on June 17, 2007

I don't understand why people give me shit for giving long-time members a second chance.
Especially when those very people are often at higher-than-average risk of needing that same second chance at some time in the future.

wendell, this was a stupid stunt that was bound to end badly. I would be disposed to forgive you if you had included me but you didn't, so I will carry this grudge to the grave.
posted by dg at 6:08 PM on June 17, 2007

“I would be disposed to forgive you if you had included me but you didn't, so I will carry this grudge to the grave.”

Heh. "I'm pissed that you didn't invite me to that awful party I'm glad I missed."
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:19 PM on June 17, 2007

Of course - if you get invited to a shitty party but didn't go, you can act all cool and say "yeah, I didn't go because I knew it was going to be shitty". If by some chance, the party turns out to have been cool after all, you can claim you had something better (therefore even cooler) to do. It's a win-win situation.
posted by dg at 6:25 PM on June 17, 2007

Not really. We're all assholes on this bus.
posted by languagehat

0~
What is God was one of us...
Just an asshole on the bus...
posted by The Deej at 9:39 PM on June 17, 2007

I think you must be on the wrong bus, languagehat.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:04 AM on June 18, 2007

Driver! Driver! Let me off! This isn't the way to the Piggly-Wiggly!
posted by languagehat at 11:16 AM on June 18, 2007

Depends on which state the Piggly-Wiggly you're going to is in. This is the Greyhound Express to Possum Balls, Alabama.
posted by wendell at 11:38 AM on June 18, 2007

hey wendell maybe don't do that again is the feeling i'm getting here
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:53 PM on June 19, 2007

and maybe keep the community pranking down generally, is how I see it
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:03 PM on June 19, 2007

yeah pretty much

and let me know if that email list thing is still kicking in a month or so

[NOT GMAILIST]
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:54 PM on June 19, 2007

Hey guys if we keep typing real small, no can hear us.
posted by The Deej at 8:56 PM on June 19, 2007

What's that noise?
posted by dg at 9:06 PM on June 19, 2007

BRING ON THE NOISE, BRING ON THE FUNK
posted by caddis at 10:07 PM on June 19, 2007

shhhhhh! I just got dg down for his nap! He's all tuckered out. He had a biiig day today! He made poopies in the potty!!!
posted by The Deej at 5:45 AM on June 20, 2007

Is this the new longboat thread?
posted by RussHy at 10:43 AM on June 20, 2007

Is this the new longboat thread?

Aha, so this is the way to the Piggly-Wiggly!

*perks up*
posted by languagehat at 11:32 AM on June 20, 2007

So... how about those Jews?
posted by languagehat at 11:32 AM on June 20, 2007

meh.
posted by OmieWise at 11:58 AM on June 20, 2007

WORLD
TRADE
CENTER
JEWS?
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:07 PM on June 20, 2007

Can you eat Jews with cheese?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:08 PM on June 20, 2007

That's just silly. You can't eat Jews.
posted by found missing at 12:48 PM on June 20, 2007

WORLD
TRADE
CENTER
JEWS?

this is becoming the "start your engines!" of longboat threads, I suspect.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:54 PM on June 20, 2007

start your meshugas?
posted by OmieWise at 12:56 PM on June 20, 2007

I guess I'd better be careful.
posted by OmieWise at 12:58 PM on June 20, 2007

I think it'd make for a nice tradition if longboating was restricted to kind of nutso metatalk threads, though I realize that'd reduce the number of viable candidates by a good 3-5%.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:00 PM on June 20, 2007 [2 favorites]

I really like Apple Jews and Orange Jews. Grape Jews? Not so much.
posted by frecklefaerie at 1:13 PM on June 20, 2007

I expect an apology thread for the implication that Jews are comestible and fruitily delicious.
posted by found missing at 1:21 PM on June 20, 2007

Did someone say long boats?
posted by vronsky at 1:53 PM on June 20, 2007

I don't think you can eat them with cheese. Maybe with mayo?
posted by RussHy at 6:38 PM on June 20, 2007

It wouldn't be kosher, you know.
posted by RussHy at 6:41 PM on June 20, 2007

Oy, es zol dir dunern in boykh, vestu meyen az s’iz a homon klaper.
posted by amro at 7:15 AM on June 21, 2007

Oh, amro, I have no idea what you wrote, but it's music to my sheygets' eyes.
posted by OmieWise at 7:41 AM on June 21, 2007

9622's alive. It's just preoccupied some of the time. Other times, you'd think it was Purim noisemaker.
posted by tizzie at 9:28 AM on June 21, 2007

Is this where I go to cut and paste the entire text of the Kalevala?
posted by dersins at 11:23 AM on June 21, 2007

wtf four panels.
posted by leftcoastbob at 1:38 PM on June 21, 2007

Das ist ausschließlich verboten, dersins, achtung!
posted by Meatbomb at 1:45 PM on June 21, 2007

And cortex, jessamyn, as it seems you are here, I would kindly ask for your blessings to talk at length (no pun intended LOL) about my penis in this thread.

That would be halal, right?
posted by Meatbomb at 1:49 PM on June 21, 2007

I presume you will be brief.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:52 PM on June 21, 2007

That topic seems a bit narrow for a lengthy discourse.
posted by dersins at 1:54 PM on June 21, 2007

I guess the water's cold, huh?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:58 PM on June 21, 2007

If you saw how incredibly massive my monster schlong was you bastards would be laughing out the other side of your mouths, I can tell you.

I mean, like, it's really quite huge and impressive, so all these small penis innuendos are just completely off the mark, and they don't bother me at all because you guys are probably just jealous that your penis isn't as big as mine.
posted by Meatbomb at 2:08 PM on June 21, 2007

Sure, but a guy with a great big penis is pretty clearly compensating for something downstairs amirite
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:18 PM on June 21, 2007

Yes. That's probably it.
posted by dersins at 2:23 PM on June 21, 2007

Also, I heard wendell went into a restaurant and he emailed everyone in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.

This longboat might get interrupted a little bit.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:25 PM on June 21, 2007

I bought my penis used. Sure it doesn't look like much now, after 200,000 miles, but it was top-of-the-line in its day!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:25 PM on June 21, 2007

MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:26 PM on June 21, 2007

Why do you come here ?
And why do you hang around ?
I'm so sorry
posted by four panels at 2:29 PM on June 21, 2007

Why do you come here
When you know it makes things hard for me ?
posted by four panels at 2:30 PM on June 21, 2007

To quote House, "You read that? I didn't think anyone actually read email... the delete button is so conveniently located."
posted by Rhomboid at 2:32 PM on June 21, 2007

WHY DO YOU SEND ME SILLY NOTES
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:33 PM on June 21, 2007

Rhomboid, I loved you anyway, but I love you more now that you're quoting house.

Marry me?

And yeah the email thing isn't really ticking me off that much. I just felt like yelling.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:37 PM on June 21, 2007

Why do birds does Meatbomb's penis suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
posted by dersins at 2:38 PM on June 21, 2007

...just like dersins
all the sick persons
love the House....
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:42 PM on June 21, 2007

You're the one for me, Hendy
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:46 PM on June 21, 2007

So what does the "." mean in a comment, anyways?
posted by Salmonberry at 3:42 PM on June 21, 2007

IS IT CAN BE LUPUS TIEM PLEEZ?
posted by Rhomboid at 3:43 PM on June 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

I have just sent the following email to four panels and those who followed his lead...

PLEASE do not continue using the block of email addresses from my original group email. Some of these people did not enjoy the ensuing hilarity and wish me bodily harm (as a result, anytime I leave my fortress-like home, I must wear a bullet-proof vest, jockstrap and hat).

But if you DO really want to continue the conversationing, I have set up a list-thingy at one of my umpteen unused domains and called it METAFRAM, standing for METAfilter's FRiendly spAM (no, it has nothing to do with oil filters). To participate, you must first go to this web address to sign up:

http://metafram.oneswellfoop.net/listinfo.cgi/metafram-oneswellfoop.net

This will be a private list and all content will only be accessible to subscribers. The First Rule of MetaFram is - tell your friends about MetaFram! But new subscribers who are not active members of MetaFilter, MetaChat and/or MonkeyFilter will be required to go through a hazing ritual that not all may survive. The Second Rule is - what happens in MetaFram stays in MetaFram: you may quote yourself in another forum, but PLEASE do not quote somebody else's comments here unless they clearly permit you to.

This list may grow into something wonderful, or it may wither on the vine, or it may evolve or mutate or multiply like a virus or stunt its growth by smoking or clone itself or go extinct or collapse upon itself forming a black hole that consumes the universe. It's all up to you. No pressure.

posted by wendell at 3:45 PM on June 21, 2007

M^{y email used to be written like this.}
It's not anymore.
I disinclined it.
posted by Plutor at 4:18 PM on June 21, 2007 [11 favorites]

Christ, what a farb.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:19 PM on June 21, 2007

Christ, what a farb.

YM "flarf." HTH.
posted by dersins at 4:43 PM on June 21, 2007

No, INH; IM "farb."
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:51 PM on June 21, 2007

He who recreates is larp.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:03 PM on June 21, 2007

I'm kinda bummed I didn't get an email. Unless it was the wondercum thing, which i did in fact get. Man, that stuff really works, too!




uh...err...so i have heard.
posted by mds35 at 6:38 PM on June 21, 2007

Two cathedrals
posted by smackfu at 6:56 PM on June 21, 2007

Sheesh, four panels. I liked you better when you were whining about AskMe deletions.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:05 PM on June 21, 2007

Can we please get back to talking about Jews now?
posted by amro at 9:43 AM on June 22, 2007

Oy.
posted by dersins at 9:58 AM on June 22, 2007

This boat is about as long as a Jew's foreskin.

We make both types of comments here. Jews and penises.
posted by team lowkey at 11:55 AM on June 22, 2007

Damn, Wendell apologized so I can't piss on him over this... I don't think email harvesting or sending email to your friends is a sin, but as Matt pointed out, not bcc'ing is poor email etiquette.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:33 AM on June 24, 2007

If there was ever a basic rule of email etiquette that I wish people would learn it is THIS: send the email to yourself and put the list of people you are sending to in the Bcc field. Any moron recipient who hits "Reply to All" will send their reply to an audience of ONE (the original sender) and no recipient will see the other recipient's email addresses.

This is simple, basic stuff.
posted by spock at 8:14 AM on July 11, 2007

Is anyone still reading this? Can I say hi to my mom?

Hi Mom!
posted by slogger at 2:47 PM on July 11, 2007

Do your homework!
posted by dersins at 5:54 PM on July 11, 2007

MetaTalk: wear a bullet-proof vest, jockstrap and hat
posted by eritain at 7:38 PM on July 11, 2007