yay it's the one millionth comment! July 10, 2007 6:22 PM   Subscribe

1000000!
posted by jessamyn (retired) to MetaFilter-Related at 6:22 PM (127 comments total)

First post in MeTa thread referring to 1000000!
posted by SeizeTheDay at 6:26 PM on July 10, 2007


On the same day as thread 66666, no less!
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:28 PM on July 10, 2007


Oh, and congrats Jess, for keeping that place clean up to a million. Here's to another million.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 6:28 PM on July 10, 2007


tl;dr
posted by brownpau at 6:43 PM on July 10, 2007


*raises pinky to lips*

Meeeelyunn.
posted by ColdChef at 6:47 PM on July 10, 2007 [2 favorites]


Wow, and both q & a were very interesting and engaging, and an excellent example of AskMe's strengths, IMO. Thanks, Jessamyn and cortex for the great work you've done, and will continue to do.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:47 PM on July 10, 2007


That's a lot of flamin' comments.
posted by phoque at 6:48 PM on July 10, 2007


which was 999999? cuz that one is a cool number too.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:57 PM on July 10, 2007


Just wanted to add my thanks to jessamyn and cortex for all you do on such a wonderful resource. Maybe I should be embarrassed by the magnitude of the decisions AskMe has helped me make, or the guidance the people here have given me, but really I'm not.
posted by justonegirl at 7:00 PM on July 10, 2007


I don't practice posting on MeFi
I just ain't got the gall
Well I had a million comments but I,
I flagged 'em all
posted by ORthey at 7:00 PM on July 10, 2007


[old]
posted by Stynxno at 7:01 PM on July 10, 2007


Wow. This may be the first time in my life I've arrived at a true appreciation for how many a million is, of anything.

Thank you!
posted by Miko at 7:02 PM on July 10, 2007


fuckin' klang.

So hey, my work (third party money manager) just passed 1,000,000,000 under management and we all get a retreat in Sonoma to celebrate. How about tall cans all around?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:06 PM on July 10, 2007


Woo Hoo!!!!!!

(off topic jerky question) jessamyn, when are you and matt gonna do a duet to post on MeTa Music?

(back on topic) This reminds me of the McDonalds sign with 1 MILLION SERVED!
posted by snsranch at 7:07 PM on July 10, 2007


On (lack of) preview, yea, fukin' klang.
posted by snsranch at 7:08 PM on July 10, 2007


jessamyn, when are you and matt gonna do a duet to post on MeTa Music?

Never? Neither of us are musically ept in the slghtest. Maybe we can bang something out with cortex this weekend.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:12 PM on July 10, 2007


Congratulations, Klang!

I think you're a pretty damn good choice to represent the site in its millionth comment.
posted by jamjam at 7:12 PM on July 10, 2007


I forecast that we'll see Den Beste's 1,000,000th AskMe comment sometime in October.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 7:12 PM on July 10, 2007 [3 favorites]


Holy shit. That's daunting.
posted by OmieWise at 7:15 PM on July 10, 2007


Woo!

*flashes tits*
posted by carsonb at 7:15 PM on July 10, 2007


So that I'm clear, that's 1 Million comments across all the Mefi domains, or just 1 million comments within Ask? Apologies if that's a stupid question...
posted by jonson at 7:22 PM on July 10, 2007


* raises hand *

I forget - are all the comment numbers aggregated across all the subsites? Surely that wasn't the millionth comment in AskMe alone?!?
posted by yhbc at 7:24 PM on July 10, 2007


* buys jonson a coke *
posted by yhbc at 7:24 PM on July 10, 2007


Pshaw. I went through a million sperm just a half-hour ago.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:31 PM on July 10, 2007


It's the millionth on AskMe. Mefi's heading toward 2 million, and Meta is not yet at half a million. The database, in what could politely be described as a "novel" approach, is split into discrete tables of comments for different sites.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 7:38 PM on July 10, 2007


GET

Quick, everybody go favorite it!
posted by Many bubbles at 7:39 PM on July 10, 2007


He should win a free question, or at least two in one week.
posted by inconsequentialist at 7:44 PM on July 10, 2007


Failget.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 7:47 PM on July 10, 2007


Why is the first ever comment 93961?
posted by tellurian at 7:53 PM on July 10, 2007


Hot damn.
posted by spiderskull at 7:55 PM on July 10, 2007


tellurian, the askme threads and comments were originally tied to metatalk's db—I'm guessing comment 93960 was a metatalk comment.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:07 PM on July 10, 2007


I'm very relieved that the 1000000th comment had nothing to do with Jiggle Jugs.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:18 PM on July 10, 2007


Err... Jingle Juggs. WhatEVER.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:18 PM on July 10, 2007


the askme threads and comments were originally tied to metatalk's db
Ah! that would make explain it, looking at the comment numbers in the birth announcement thread and allowing for deletions.
posted by tellurian at 8:23 PM on July 10, 2007


***CONGRATULATIONS!!!***

You are our ***ONE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER***!!!

A SPECIAL PRIZE awaits you if you ***CLICK HERE***
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:31 PM on July 10, 2007


DO NOT CLICK!!!!!!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:32 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


at 3:33, no less


HAI GIVE ME HOT BOYS BECAUSE AWESOME IF ARBITRARY MILESTONES HAVE BEEN MET

actually one million is fucking cool as
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:41 PM on July 10, 2007


1 million with or with deleted comments?

With, natch.

(Really actually with. Deletions don't recycle comment ids—wouldn't make any sense.)
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:42 PM on July 10, 2007


Funny; aside from Tubgirl tubgirl, there are some nice cheesecake images of girls in tubs there. How very Stile.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:43 PM on July 10, 2007


cortex: I tried to include prizes appropriate for all tastes.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:51 PM on July 10, 2007


Awww, that lamb is cute.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:53 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


hey - it actually is a lamb!
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:59 PM on July 10, 2007


"L-l-lisa, I thought you l-l-loved meeee!"

Oh, wait.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:02 PM on July 10, 2007


Nineteen. Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh nineteen.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:09 PM on July 10, 2007


Extreme Lamb! WOOOO! GO EXTREME LAMB GO!

He's fucking EXTREME!
posted by quin at 9:10 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Vietnam Song?

Metafilter Thread 19 is, of course, the Shimmering Veil, beyond which all is hidden. So thread counts ought really to be shifted nineteen down. Comment counts too, I suppose, but by how much, I dunno.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:20 PM on July 10, 2007


Thanks for the NSFW tag Burhanistan - you can get fired in NZ of looking at images like that.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 9:20 PM on July 10, 2007 [2 favorites]


"Meta is not yet at half a million."

Would another flameout help?

languagehat, keep your evil Mind Rays to yourself!
posted by davy at 9:47 PM on July 10, 2007


Yoohoo, UbuRoivas posted a link to a link to kiddy porn! :-)
posted by davy at 9:51 PM on July 10, 2007


Like I said davy, something for all tastes. Why did you happen to zero in on that one, by the way?
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:45 PM on July 10, 2007


Samuel Farrow - speaking of kiddy porn, what do they call photos of lambs in New Zealand? Because wouldn't kiddy porn technically involve baby goats?
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:57 PM on July 10, 2007


Let's have a party in Portland this weekend to celebrate!
posted by croutonsupafreak at 11:01 PM on July 10, 2007


Mother fucker, you brought me to this, I didn't want to do it, but...

Metafilter: speaking of kiddy porn...
posted by quin at 11:06 PM on July 10, 2007


"The comment heard 'round the world."
posted by Afroblanco at 11:14 PM on July 10, 2007


OK, the oldest comment, I think, would be this, the first one in the Shimmering Veil thread. That's number 23792, surprisingly. Matt must have done an awful lot of testing.

So I reckon -- sorry klangy -- that the comment we're calling #1000000 is actually comment #976208.

But when hit #1023792? Woo party woo!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:02 AM on July 11, 2007


stavrosthewonderchicken - You'll find comment number 2 here at the beginning of mathowie's commenting history. The thread has gone though.
posted by tellurian at 12:36 AM on July 11, 2007


Also, the comment number for Ask came from the MetaTalk database count and that started at 1. The subtraction should be 93960 as cortex pointed out.
posted by tellurian at 12:49 AM on July 11, 2007


The question is, would this even have been noted if the millionth comment was somebody helping a guy come up with a wacky name for his new Jeep?

A sort of lowbrow AskMetafilter exercise which I nevertheless always seem to enjoy, the "wacky name" genre. Don't start deleting these! My small heart depends on it.
posted by furiousthought at 1:53 AM on July 11, 2007




Ok, so a large number of consecutive zeroes is only significant if they are to the right of non-zero digits. Duly noted.
posted by Eideteker at 4:01 AM on July 11, 2007


thanks to jessamyn and cortex for all you do on such a wonderful resource

The real thanks should go to the thousands of fine people who post their wonderful thoughts to Ask-me and the front page.
posted by Dave Faris at 5:17 AM on July 11, 2007


The real thanks should go to the thousands of fine people who post their wonderful thoughts to Ask-me and the front page.

That's right, the person of the year is YOU.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:27 AM on July 11, 2007


Does anyone know where I can find some real thanks? All I seem to have are these empty, meaningless words.
posted by Partial Law at 5:32 AM on July 11, 2007


Does anyone read the million some-odd comments down here?
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:40 AM on July 11, 2007


The real thanks should go to the thousands of fine people who post their wonderful thoughts to Ask-me and the front page.

That you hyphenated AskMe proves conclusively that you don't know what you're talking about.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:54 AM on July 11, 2007


Well, I hope someone posts a note on MetaTalk when we reach 1,000,000 deleted comments. It might happen faster than you think!
posted by Termite at 6:01 AM on July 11, 2007


Let's have a party in Portland this weekend to celebrate!

Brilliant!
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:29 AM on July 11, 2007


I predict MeTa will catch up to AskMe in rabid fashion.
posted by phoque at 6:33 AM on July 11, 2007


So if a million monkeys with a million keyboards typed a million comments....
posted by grateful at 6:37 AM on July 11, 2007


That's right, the person of the year is YOU.

No, if you're willing to subvert your efforts, like a common and lowly serf, in order to glorify the three potentates of the manor, that's your business. This place is made up of thousands of people who contribute a lot more than a couple of people with a spastic finger on the delete button.
posted by Dave Faris at 7:27 AM on July 11, 2007


But not a single one of those thousands do as much as a single one of those three.
posted by Catfry at 7:34 AM on July 11, 2007


There's no question about it. Metafilter runs on people, and without the folks that come here every day there would be no site. We do our best to keep the place running and to make sure it's the sort of place that people will want to keep coming back to, and it's nice to get positive feedback for it, but there's absolute truth to the statement that it's the thousands that are the site.

Dave, why you chose to phrase such a decent point as a backhand to anyone who felt like saying something nice in here is kind of a mystery to me.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:42 AM on July 11, 2007


Hi cortex,
please send me a Wii or I will defect to Fark, thus bringing the house down around your (MaJes'tex) virtual heads.
posted by Mister_A at 7:48 AM on July 11, 2007


Remind me how well your community weblog is going, Dave?
posted by Aloysius Bear at 8:04 AM on July 11, 2007


Dave Faris: Got it. You have a problem with the admins. Message received. Loud and clear. Over and over and over again.
posted by brain_drain at 8:05 AM on July 11, 2007


Does anyone read the million some-odd comments down here?

We all do.
posted by trip and a half at 8:16 AM on July 11, 2007


like a common and lowly serf,


Side note: I never knew there were so many smurfs.

This place is made up of thousands of people who contribute a lot

Oh, you've been part of the Methylviolet Experience!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:27 AM on July 11, 2007


Zippity Bop!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:31 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


So is Dave Faris positioning himself to be the next quonsar?

(Only with more bitching about moderation and less bitching about programming?)
posted by dersins at 8:53 AM on July 11, 2007


Meta is not yet at half a million.

OK, that's our signal to get to work!

*sends evil Mind Rays at davy*
posted by languagehat at 8:54 AM on July 11, 2007


I'm doing my best, 'hat !
posted by Mister_A at 9:01 AM on July 11, 2007


quick! delete it!
posted by shmegegge at 9:23 AM on July 11, 2007


So is Dave Faris positioning himself to be the next quonsar?

We need two? Dave, can't you position yourself to be the next BlueTrain instead?
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 9:24 AM on July 11, 2007


I think Dave Faris should position himself to be the next Son_Of_Minya.
posted by shmegegge at 9:27 AM on July 11, 2007


*looks up bluetrain*
posted by Mister_A at 9:37 AM on July 11, 2007


You know, the kneejerk Pile-On-Dave-Faris thing probably doesn't make this place a damned spot better either.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:41 AM on July 11, 2007


It's constructive criticism, love.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 9:42 AM on July 11, 2007


UbuRoivas, I focused on this photo because I was looking for something to be "witty" about. Given the assortment presented in your link it was hard going.
posted by davy at 10:03 AM on July 11, 2007


Ya gotta tell 'em, "Metafilter runs on people!"
posted by davy at 10:05 AM on July 11, 2007


This is my 1000th Metatalk comment. Now worship me.
posted by davy at 10:07 AM on July 11, 2007


Oh, jeez, y'all had a MeTa and I missed it.

"There's no question about it. Metafilter runs on people, and without the folks that come here every day there would be no site. "

Because it's like the matrix, and sucks the power from our bodies.
posted by klangklangston at 10:18 AM on July 11, 2007


You know klang, were it not for my 133 awesome AskMe answers, you would not have been Mr. Bigshot one millionth comment. It might have been someone jerky instead. Just sayin'.
posted by Mister_A at 10:44 AM on July 11, 2007


You know, the kneejerk Pile-On-Dave-Faris thing probably doesn't make this place a damned spot better either.

Are you kidding? Tell me you're kidding.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:46 AM on July 11, 2007


“You know, the kneejerk Pile-On-Dave-Faris thing probably doesn't make this place a damned spot better either.”

I respectfully disagree. Calling people out for repeated dickish behavior IS is good thing.

I would hope that if my behavior is consistently dickish someone would call me on it.
posted by dersins at 10:55 AM on July 11, 2007


100! Comments in this thread
posted by quin at 11:04 AM on July 11, 2007


Who's Dave Faris? Is he that Gong Show guy?
posted by davy at 11:17 AM on July 11, 2007


He invented the Faris Wheel.

And while this is just a coincidence, I have a cousin with Downs who shares his name with ol' Dave, though he spells it differently and generally goes by David (he's only Dave when he has his rock and roll sunglasses on).
posted by klangklangston at 11:35 AM on July 11, 2007


No, davy, Dave Faris is the inventor of the Faris Wheel.

When you read that, imagine that Goliath, the tendentious claymation hound from the defunct, crapulent, moralizing early morning weekend kids' show Davy and Goliath, is saying it.
posted by Mister_A at 11:37 AM on July 11, 2007


Dang it.
posted by Mister_A at 11:37 AM on July 11, 2007


You know, the kneejerk Pile-On-Dave-Faris thing probably doesn't make this place a damned spot better either.

Aw, is it really that bad to tease a guy for raining on the parade? Some chummy ribbing, and such.
posted by shmegegge at 11:50 AM on July 11, 2007


Are you kidding? Tell me you're kidding.

Why would I be kidding? A knee-jerk pile-on is poor form, period. I think Dave could be a lot less of a jerk sometimes, and that's been a bit more personal since around the time he started in with the "hey, let's all blow cortex again" bullshit, but...so?

Pile-ons suck, pretty much full stop. I'm not saying they won't happen—forget it, Jake, it's Metatalk—but I do think they're ugly and don't make this place any better. It doesn't mean I don't think he's being a jerk, but there's a lot of jerk to go around in here sometimes and cranking it up to eleven doesn't seem like much of an antidote.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:25 PM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


"Calling people out for repeated dickish behavior IS is good thing.[SIC] I would hope that if my behavior is consistently dickish someone would call me on it."

Aw, don't wuzzums get enough attention? I bet you want your head skritched too.
posted by davy at 1:36 PM on July 11, 2007


Aw, don't wuzzums get enough attention?

Where are pot and kettle when you need them?

No, if you're willing to subvert your efforts, like a common and lowly serf, in order to glorify the three potentates of the manor, that's your business. This place is made up of thousands of people who contribute a lot more than a couple of people with a spastic finger on the delete button.

As a community moderator yourself, I'm sure you know there's more to it than that. I don't know why you continue to point to the work we do in the most negative sour grapes way possible.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:37 PM on July 11, 2007


Where are pot and kettle when you need them?

You have the power to open the gateway. Just say the word...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:42 PM on July 11, 2007


There is no Dana, Flo. Only Zu'ul.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:45 PM on July 11, 2007


Just say the word...

word!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:48 PM on July 11, 2007


Kettle's behavior is consistently Dickensian.
posted by Pot at 3:54 PM on July 11, 2007


The author is dead.
posted by Kettle at 3:55 PM on July 11, 2007


Deconstruction ate itself.
posted by Pot at 4:01 PM on July 11, 2007


Serf!
posted by Kettle at 4:03 PM on July 11, 2007


Long time no see, guys.
posted by brain_drain at 4:10 PM on July 11, 2007


I don't know why you continue to point to the work we do in the most negative sour grapes way possible.

B-b-because it should be him up there!!! He bought a blue, green and grey sash in anticipation!
A SASH!!!

And also, by positioning himself as a analytical critic of the site's administration, crouching his language in snide yet non-inflammatory terms, he positions himself as an authority of sorts within MeTa. By avoiding out and out trollery, Dave Faris gains a certain amount of credibility which in its own way is almost as good as having a l'il white box saying ADMIN next to his handle.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:14 PM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


We've been locked in the pantry. Kettle lost the key in a knee-jerk pile-on.
posted by Pot at 4:14 PM on July 11, 2007


Wow, crunchland has not one, but two Big Brother posts on its front page?

Oh no, your credibility! It's headed for the window!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:16 PM on July 11, 2007


Pot got us out by kissing the admin's asses.
posted by Kettle at 4:16 PM on July 11, 2007


Maybe we can bang something out with cortex this weekend.

I just want to point out how classy we are all for not taking advantage of this delicious setup.

And on the millionth (yay!) comment, I like Mil Millington's take:

You may already have won an Audi A6 Coupé with free insurance for a year!

However, if you have it will not be connected at all with [this] and is really quite a remarkable coincidence.

posted by misha at 5:17 PM on July 11, 2007


Pot and Kettle are back!

*weeps tears of joy*

Also, Alvy is on the money.
posted by languagehat at 5:17 AM on July 12, 2007


You can think what you want about my motivations, but you'd be wrong.

I know I'd never be a good moderator here. I'm not moderate enough. I'd delete messages and threads and say "fuck you" to the people who complained ... granted, not far from what it's already like, but definitely moreso. No. I think everyone would agree that I'd be a lousy moderator for Metafilter, and I would have declined if Matt was crazy enough to ask.

As for the comments I made in this thread, after a day's thought, I realize I completely over reacted. That AskMe has reached 1million comments, and that someone thinks Jess is doing a good job are not necessarily tied together as I first read them to be. Sorry for jumping to that conclusion.
posted by Dave Faris at 6:00 AM on July 12, 2007


Jesus, Dave. Your "apology" this morning is really vile. It has all of the stink of malice aforethought and slinking bad blood with none of the excuse of passion or regretted excess. It's pretty much "When did you stop beating your wife?" but even shittier, because couched as an apology: "I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that at least you've stopped raping your daughter."

Have some class. You don't have to be a jerk to express your opinion, and, although I know you already know this, I'd suggest that your opinion will be taken more seriously the more you can refrain from making it seem like a vendetta.
posted by OmieWise at 6:43 AM on July 12, 2007


Spoken like a man who hasn't been through the hundredth knee-jerk-pile-on of the year.
posted by Dave Faris at 6:53 AM on July 12, 2007


Fair enough, but it wasn't jessamyn or cortex that piled-on.

Both responded negatively but measuredly to your comments, but neither promoted the pile-on.
posted by OmieWise at 7:10 AM on July 12, 2007


Thing about the Pylons is, if you mess with the crystals in a matrix table you might change the weather and alert the Sleestak.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:48 AM on July 12, 2007


The thing about Pylon is that while you should probably own both Gyrate and Hits, there's a lot of overlap. But Gyrate is so good that it's worth getting for the tracks that Hits left off, and Hits is much much better than wading through the rest of their catalog for the couple great songs.
posted by klangklangston at 9:41 AM on July 12, 2007


I can't believe IRFH just made a reference THAT obscure. well played, sir.
posted by shmegegge at 11:32 AM on July 12, 2007


I got it! Yay!

Wait, that means I'm old. Bummer.
posted by Miko at 1:01 PM on July 12, 2007


I know I'd never be a good moderator here. I'm not moderate enough. I'd delete messages and threads and say "fuck you" to the people who complained ... granted, not far from what it's already like, but definitely moreso. No. I think everyone would agree that I'd be a lousy moderator for Metafilter, and I would have declined if Matt was crazy enough to ask.

posted by Dave Faris at 9:00 AM on July 12


I'd be a great moderator. Do you know how many times I've typed a gibbering expectoration of profanity and bile into the comment box, only to delete it before posting?

Do you know how often I've wanted to derail threads with nonsensical stories of teenage pixies who stalk pies and escape with them into the night aboard silent black-scarved zeppellins emblazoned with an eyepatched tinkerbell?

Do you have any idea what it's like to resist the temptation to sail a zeppelin swollen with pies into the blue four or five hundred times a day? My God, man, there's a thread open right now about a monster movie viral ad that is simply begging for a swashbuckling talk of pixies, pies, and lighter-than-air hijinx.

But I keep in under control. I moderate myself so cortex and jessamyn don't have to. This way, when number 1000000 rolls around, it lands on another intelligent contribution by klangklangston, and not on "'Peaches and Scream!' part seventeen of 'The Cobbler Diaries', in which our graceful Heroine, Daphne of Peaches, Liberates a Pecan Tart from that Notorious Blackguard, The Earl of Broadway." Will Daphne escape the evil clutches of the Earl? Will she make it back to the trusty Pelican in time to catch the waning winds of the Manhattan jetstream? Or will the chill autumn air condemn her and her loyal sidekick Tumblebee to a night trapped in the Bowery, home of the dreaded and fabled Poopypotamus?

You'll never know, because I know when to press 'Post', and when to press 'Delete'. I don't just moderate, I regulate.

Congrats, Metafilter!
posted by Pastabagel at 1:14 PM on July 12, 2007


Pot and Kettle are back!

Please forgive me, but I totally read this with an extra letter in it.
posted by trip and a half at 7:30 PM on July 12, 2007


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