Memorial fund?

July 2, 2008 7:43 PM

What would the community think about a memorial fund or something for the family of Brooke Bennett?

I have been following this since everything started, and feel just awful for the poor girl. Her uncle, who is a convicted sex offender has been arrested for aggravated sexual assault on a different girl and is being charged federally for kidnapping her. Her stepfather has also been arrested for obstruction of justice (FBI affidavit).

I understand that things like this happen all over the country more frequently than they do here, but...I don't know...Maybe we can help the family a little?

posted by C17H19NO3 to MetaFilter-related at 7:43 PM (43 comments total)

Perhaps you could arrange something yourself and then post it to Projects?
posted by anifinder at 7:47 PM on July 2 [3 favorites]

This may be something that the local Vermonter contingent wants to deal with directly since it's so close to all of us. It's been really upsetting around here. Her dad is my town constable and the town has been FULL of news trucks waiting for bad bad details. My local library had a visit by the cops who took their computers [while I was at ALA, oy!] and everyone knows someone who knows her or her family.
posted by jessamyn at 7:48 PM on July 2

Uh. No?
posted by Stynxno at 7:57 PM on July 2 [4 favorites]

By the way, there's an AskMe thread related to this incident.

And, C17H19NO3 [good grief, what a handle], I'm a Vermonter also but I agree with Jess. Once a fund is set up locally, why not MeFi mail me, Jessamyn, SirStan and anyone else who chimes in here with the details.
posted by beagle at 8:04 PM on July 2

I would be very careful giving money to anyone in the family until the whole matter has been settled, who did what, and what is left after the dust settles. It has only been 6 days, but each dawn seems to bring a new twist to this bizarre story.

There are many organizations within the state of Vermont, and also the local community that have the means to setup such funds, and Vermont is a very close knit state. If one is appropriate, I am sure it will be formed.

There are relief organizations such as the Green Mountain United Way, the Clara Martin Center (local community mental health), the school system, the Rotary, and local churches that could use donations prepare with the fallout as well. (I work for such a local organization, but they all are amazingly important).

The close knit community and everyone knowing everyone makes something like this rip through a community. Cheers, and I hope you consider giving to the family if a fund does appear -- or you consider the important role of local organizations and decide to donate to one of them. (I would suggest you include your 'wishes' for how the donation is appropriated, such as outreach for children in high risk situations).
posted by SirStan at 8:36 PM on July 2 [1 favorite]

I'd consider donating to an already established charity in Brooke Bennett's name such as PCAVT, or anything appropriate. If you want to recommend one, great. I'm not very fond of event reaction charities though, too much duplicate effort is involved in creating a new charity every time something happens.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:30 PM on July 2

Since some of the family are already under arrest for her murder or for obstruction of justice, giving money to the family seems at best premature.

Why not give money to those in the Mefi "family?" And for the living, rather than as a memorial? (I often wish the praises we lavish in . obit threads could have been read by the deceased, and isn't money just the sincerest form of flattery?) From the linked blog of a Mefite who isn't dead:

After surgery 6 weeks ago I felt like death warmed over for a week, then felt much better for a couple of weeks, then, over the last month, plummeted day by day into increasing weakness, fatigue, aching, depression, all over physical distress and feeling cold all the time.

Gradually the symptoms became all over muscle tension, chronic nausea, hurting salivary glands, tingling hands and feet, aching joints, feeling of blurred thinking. I figured it was my body adjusting to the lack of thyroid hormone and didn’t know it was because my parathyroid wasn’t processing calcium.

posted by orthogonality at 9:37 PM on July 2 [4 favorites]

"Something for the family"? You have got to be fucking kidding me.
posted by ottereroticist at 10:04 PM on July 2

Nice enough idea in theory but I'd sooner give my money to the RSPCA.
posted by turgid dahlia at 10:19 PM on July 2

It's a horrible story, and I can see why local folks are upset, but
a) Wasn't it her family that pimped her out and murdered her? and
b) This isn't what MetaTalk is for.
posted by ottereroticist at 10:19 PM on July 2

Why not give money to those in the Mefi "family?"

An excellent idea, orthogonality.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:27 PM on July 2

A metafilter-wide fund of this kind should really only be set up if, god forbid, something happened to one of the mods or something. Otherwise it's vastly better if you just set it up in projects. There is no end to the number of legitimately needy people and organizations and Metafilter isn't really set up to be the kind of thing you're looking for.

C17H19NO3 [good grief, what a handle]

It's undoubtedly C₁₇H₁₉NO₃. Morphine.
posted by Justinian at 10:48 PM on July 2

I'd have thought any donations should go to the local equivalent of the NSPCC. That would hopefully help prevent similar events happening in the future.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 11:16 PM on July 2

A metafilter-wide fund of this kind should really only be set up if, god forbid, something happened to one of the mods or something.

I don't know, it may raise sticky issues of accountability/stewardship, etc.:
"i usd to like ur site, but now u guys r asholes. Gimme bak my cheez, now LOLbyeeatches
Sincerely
SEOGangsta and his lawyers"

Besides, if anything should happen to the swell kids who make this place hum, they'd have seventeen people on their doorstep offering to prechew their food within seconds of word getting out.

"Seriously guys, the insurance company just screwed up a decimal and the doctor said to rest a couple of days, it'll be sorted out on Monday... "
"Ohhh, you *chomp* don't have to be *chomp* brave for *chomp* me! Now open up, baby bird, momma's got more blanched carrots for you!"
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:01 AM on July 3

Um, no.
posted by dg at 12:48 AM on July 3

I'm sorry about this poor child, and while I have questions about why her family would let her near a registered sex offender (uncle or not), my heart breaks for the pain they must be feeling.

But Brooke wasn't a breadwinner, and so I wonder about this growing attitude that the families of victims should receive cash and prizes "just because." Frankly, I can't imagine honorable people accepting the money. I've been a victim too, and I can tell you that I'd see such an offering as the worst sort of blood money - it'd be out of my hands within seconds. Plus, there's not a single thing out there that I've read that this family needs or merits anything more than our sympathy and best wishes.

If you care about this girl and her horrible fate, I suggest giving your money to a charitable institution working to prevent similar things from happening to other children. In the long run, this sort of gift will do much more for many more.
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 2:40 AM on July 3 [10 favorites]

This story is so strange. So was there a sex ring that her uncle ran, and was the rest of the family involved in covering it up? Or was it just the uncle? and why didn't anyone seem to care for the five years! that the other girl was having sex with the uncle? It's so odd and tragic.
posted by parmanparman at 3:58 AM on July 3

Sad, but expected, ending.
posted by ColdChef at 4:39 AM on July 3

What about this guy?
This guy had kids.
Canadians killed this guy, and then lied about it.

The point is, there are people dying tragically everywhere, all the time. This person was not a member of Metafilter, just happened to live near some of us.

Dead people's families don't need cash prizes. Go out now and help the living.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:30 AM on July 3 [3 favorites]

i made a sex ring on the living room carpet once.
posted by quonsar at 6:35 AM on July 3 [2 favorites]

Is there such a thing as a squeamish, embarrassed favorite? There should be.
posted by yhbc at 6:42 AM on July 3

i made a sex ring on the living room carpet once.

May you never have to go through what this girls grandparents are going through, quonsar.
posted by jessamyn at 6:42 AM on July 3

indeed. "sex ring" is still a very bizarre usage though. the media is beating the term to death.
posted by quonsar at 6:46 AM on July 3

totally agreed, it's the term used by the creeps themselves that happens to be one the media has glommed on to.
posted by jessamyn at 6:50 AM on July 3

Equality Now might be an appropriate group to send donations to, for those interested.
posted by Tehanu at 7:00 AM on July 3

Sad as this story is, any fund raising by the website just feeds into the media hyperbole. It sounds heartless, and I don't mean it to be so, but I really would think twice about a community website asking for handouts unless ...
- a large number of people can be helped (Tsunami, Earthquake, Famine)
- The person involved is close to someone who *works* on the site. Matt, Jess, etc.

That this ignores potentially worthwhile causes (Kinsella, McCain, Bennett) is troubling, but I think that normal media coverage is enough to allow most if not all users to know what's going on. Anyone who feels touched by a story will automatically know enough to donate to the cause associated with that story. I don't need another badge on a website asking me to donate money to something I have nothing except an emotive connection with.

I also have a bit of a problem with Cause "badges" being placed on websites like this. For the most part, the pressure to add the badge has more to do with people wanting to prove that they are good than it has to do with actually donating to a worthy cause. I'm not saying here that Matt shouldn't have "AIDS days" (He absolutely should), but I am concerned that peer pressure and reactive / emotive responses do little other than make us feel good about ourselves.
posted by seanyboy at 7:18 AM on July 3

Ditto seanyboy.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:30 AM on July 3

meatbomb: the major difference between the examples you used & the post here is that none of your (immediate) victims were children. there is a particularly odious quality to child abuse issues of all kinds, but perhaps even more insidious with sexual abuse because it's something that can't be seen with the naked eye no pun intended & no jokes, please and the ramifications of a mistaken allegation on that issue are devastating to everyone involved.

i agree that donating money, especially to a family that may have allowed at least part of this to occur, is not the best idea in the world. raising consciousness, however, might be a very good thing. additionally, this is the first state-wide amber alert issued in vermont (if i read one of the links correctly), the town is relatively tiny (~ 5k) for a u.s. city, the topic is gruesomely monitored, and the geographical proximity of some of the mefis is about 0.2 miles.

the realization of this occurring to someone who resides in or near the town in question is likely to produce several knee jerk responses, none of which would be pleasant. posting here would be something of a cathartic experience. constructive comments are probably more in order than lame jokes and criticism.
posted by msconduct at 7:39 AM on July 3

meatbomb: the major difference between the examples you used & the post here is that none of your (immediate) victims were children

Recently a tornado hit where I live. No one was hurt or killed, thank god, but homes were destroyed. Children lived in those homes. Is it ok to solicit donations here since children will be effected? What about the local sugar refinery explosion that killed 13, injured many, and wrecked the plant, putting a lot of people outta work? Most of those people had kids, who will be affected. What about my pal, who's life is falling apart over the years of sexual abuse?

In short, if we're using kids or sex abuse as the reason to do X, how far are we going to extend it?

this is the first state-wide amber alert issued in vermont (if i read one of the links correctly), the town is relatively tiny (~ 5k) for a u.s. city, the topic is gruesomely monitored, and the geographical proximity of some of the mefis is about 0.2 miles.

To put it bluntly, those are shitty excuses.

posting here would be something of a cathartic experience.

This is not what Metafilter is for.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:00 AM on July 3 [2 favorites]

As a further data point, I would not contribute to this, but my condolences to anyone involved in this and to all the mefi vermonters who are affected.
posted by shmegegge at 10:07 AM on July 3

blanched carrots

I'd just like to state for the record that if I'm ever in a horribly disabling accident, I do not want mefites to spit food in my mouth.
posted by cortex at 10:14 AM on July 3 [3 favorites]

Maybe, instead, you could craft a really great front page post about child sex predators, the consequences of their behavior, some reasons why people become heinous criminals, some good research on the topic, and some stories that illustrate it. It's a profoundly sad story, but money will do nothing to help, now. An organization that does good research, and that tries to understand and stop this sort of atrocity, would be a good find, and worth donations.
posted by theora55 at 10:14 AM on July 3 [1 favorite]

While I agree with theora55 in a general sense, please note that child sex predator threads rarely go well here; there are too many people with incredibly strong feelings about the topic. So if you decide to go that route, anyone, be very careful and thoughtful with your approach.
posted by jessamyn at 10:24 AM on July 3

Wall something off into a "causes" section, simply a link and description - no commenting, no voting like projects. Allow favoriting.

That would be nice - I find MeFi has enough community-mindedness that occasionally I would probably particpate/donate to actual causes from members.
posted by jkaczor at 11:36 AM on July 3

no commenting, no voting like projects.

Projects allows comments and voting.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:53 AM on July 3

Dee Xtrovert: "... I wonder about this growing attitude that the families of victims should receive cash and prizes "just because." ..."

Absolutely - once the media gets hold of one of these stories, it seems that people can't help but set up a fund and start throwing money at them. Nobody seems to realise that there are millions of people out there who are victims but who, through lack of ready access to the media, continue to suffer. The though that people fall over themselves to pour media attention, money and pity at those in the spotlight (why give money to someone unless you can get some public gratitute for it, after all) while ignoring the immense suffering that goes on in every neighbourhood makes me feel a little sick and a little sad for humanity.
posted by dg at 1:43 PM on July 3 [1 favorite]

Prevent Child Abuse Vermont promotes and supports healthy relationships between children and the people who care for them in order to eliminate child abuse.

Contribution page with paypal link.

I am not affiliated with this charity, and aside from looking up their 990 on guidestar.org, and looking at their website I know nothing about them. Although I will be donating to them later today (when I find my stupid paypal security token), I am not endorsing them as more or less suitable than any other Vermont abuse prevention charity.
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:30 PM on July 3

An organization that does good research, and that tries to understand and stop this sort of atrocity, would be a good find, and worth donations.

You mean like the police? I donate to them on a monthly basis.

"sex ring" is still a very bizarre usage though.

I'm still waiting for someone to explain why groups of bad things tend to come in rings (ie, paedophile ring, narcotics ring, blackmail ring, etc.) while groups of good things come in circles (family circle, social circle, sewing circle, etc.)
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:36 PM on July 4

A ring is an artificial circle, is how I look at it.
posted by jessamyn at 6:03 PM on July 4

Brooke's obit was in today's Valley News, but they are behind on the web site. I only glanced at the obit this morning and so didn't see if the family had designated a charity or cause for donations yet.
posted by terrapin at 10:55 AM on July 5

I'm still waiting for someone to explain why groups of bad things tend to come in rings

I think it involves high-level maths. Which for most is almost always is bad news.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:01 PM on July 5

As sad as this incident is, the last thing MeFi needs (is | are) posts asking for donations every time a (girl | woman) gets (killed | raped | dissapears).
posted by mrbill at 12:50 AM on July 6

I checked the obituary and it lists the Molly Bish Foundation as the place the family requests people send donations if they are inclined.

Molly Bish Foundation
200 South Street
West Warren, MA 01092
http://www.mollybish.org/
posted by terrapin at 10:40 AM on July 6 [1 favorite]