Why deleted? July 17, 2008 11:40 AM   Subscribe

My answer deleted. Please explain why.

I posted the two word answer "New man." to this question. I wasn't trying to be smart.

It was deleted.

Here's the part of the questioner's answer that I read that led me to give my answer:
The problem for me is that I'm painfully shy when it comes to sex. I get embarrassed so easily! Rational or not, I can't even bring up what I like because I'm too terrified of being made fun of. I haven't really had much trouble with this in the past because past boyfriends were a bit controlling, which worked perfectly for me in the bedroom.
In other words, it wasn't a problem in the past with previous lovers but it is with the current one. Why is my answer of moving on from the current lover not considered valid then?
posted by Sitegeist to Etiquette/Policy at 11:40 AM (144 comments total)

Sorry, questioner's question.
posted by Sitegeist at 11:41 AM on July 17, 2008


You have to ask why that was deleted?? Are you freakin serious? Two words..not even a full sentence. And a ridiculous answer at that. How about you put in some effort, dude? You wrote more cuz you were pissed off about getting deleted than you did to HELP THE OP! Get a grip.
posted by spicynuts at 11:43 AM on July 17, 2008 [4 favorites]


I think I flagged that answer- or I meant to. Came off more snarky then pithy, as most two word answers do. Try using more words next time.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:43 AM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


It was totally unclear from the context what you were saying. Could have been snarky, could have been a sincere answer. Its usually a good idea to explain at least a little bit why you are offering the advice that you are. We'll sometimes delete one or two word answers to complicated questions because they often come across as snark as much as an answer to the question.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:44 AM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


1-word and 2-word answers that actually mean a heck of a lot more (to you) are often bad answers (almost 100% of the time) and we regularly delete them because people flag them for usually sounding jerkish.

"New Man" is pretty much the same thing as "DTMFA" which we would also delete if that was your entire answer.

You obviously have more to say about the answer, so I'd say in the future explaining why you think the somewhat drastic advice of dumping someone is the best course of action, and the way to do that is to explain in a sentence or two why it's worth ending a relationship over (based on personal experience? seeing friends go through bad relationships? something else? why?).
posted by mathowie (staff) at 11:45 AM on July 17, 2008


New answer.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:45 AM on July 17, 2008 [31 favorites]


You can't even break out the standard DTMFA? Fewer keystrokes.
posted by sjuhawk31 at 11:45 AM on July 17, 2008


Jess, would you stop being so fast this afternoon? I can't type as quickly as you.
posted by sjuhawk31 at 11:46 AM on July 17, 2008


WHAT DO?
posted by [@I][:+:][@I] at 11:54 AM on July 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


APPEASE.
posted by brownpau at 11:55 AM on July 17, 2008 [4 favorites]


Thanks for your replies Jessamyn and mathowie.

Had to look up DTMFA. I'm not saying that's he's a 'motherfucker', just doesn't seem to be what she is looking for in that department. She described her level of satisfaction thus: Sex with my boyfriend is like a graham cracker - I enjoy it while I'm having it, but I'm not often craving it. So not necessarily any problem with him, just perhaps not a good match for her.

I went with two words because I thought a pithy answer could break her out of the line of thought she was following (needing to be assertive in bed when she's been perfectly content not to be before).

But I appreciate you spelling out how it could be taken the wrong way. I don't think I agree but I respect the ruling.
posted by Sitegeist at 11:56 AM on July 17, 2008


tl;dr
posted by mattbucher at 11:57 AM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


It sucked.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 11:59 AM on July 17, 2008


I went with two words because I thought a pithy answer could break her out of the line of thought she was following

I think this applies to AskMe similar to the way it applies to much else in life: Say what you mean, and mean what you say. One can't rely on others to take your hidden meanings.
posted by carsonb at 12:01 PM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


Jesus wept.
posted by felix betachat at 12:03 PM on July 17, 2008 [3 favorites]




!
posted by AwkwardPause at 12:07 PM on July 17, 2008


BRANDNEW DAY!
posted by Krrrlson at 12:09 PM on July 17, 2008


I'm pretty sure I remember "I'm loving it" being deleted from this thread. Mods don't like short, correct answers.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:13 PM on July 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


Words left out. Phrases incomplete.
posted by yhbc at 12:16 PM on July 17, 2008


INVISIBLE ANSWER
posted by Iosephus at 12:18 PM on July 17, 2008


It was a rude answer to a sincere question. It showed contempt for the poster. I'm mystified why you think that this is worthy of questioning? Did you really think that your answer was appropriate for the question? If so, you might want to figure out why (hint: it's you).

Or, in words you might understand:

It sucked.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:20 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


> Find Pig!|
posted by onalark at 12:21 PM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


She described her level of satisfaction thus: Sex with my boyfriend is like a graham cracker - I enjoy it while I'm having it, but I'm not often craving it. So not necessarily any problem with him, just perhaps not a good match for her.

This is a much better answer.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:22 PM on July 17, 2008


Yeah, it came across to me as ridiculously rude, and it wasn't an answer to the question. The OP was asking about how to deal with her shyness in bed. You essentially told her she can't, so she'd better find some asshole who doesn't give her any choices. That's what I got out of it, anyway. And that shit pisses me off.
posted by katillathehun at 12:26 PM on July 17, 2008


Cositwas acrapanswer.
posted by fire&wings at 12:28 PM on July 17, 2008


That's your interpretation Light Fantastic. I fail to see how it was rude. I didn't insult the questioner, nor her boyfriend. I don't think it's a great tragedy to move on from a sexual relationship where the sex is not working. That's all I'm suggesting. The mods have answered that readers could interpret it as snark, but I think the feeling of offence is brought to the answer by the reader. Anyway, I'm happy to let it rest.

p.s. Blazecock, I enjoyed the Mozart reference. Thanks.
posted by Sitegeist at 12:30 PM on July 17, 2008


The consensus: She needed a hug, you did not give one.
posted by Cranberry at 12:30 PM on July 17, 2008


Meh. New user.
posted by grateful at 12:42 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Total War
posted by Burhanistan at 12:42 PM on July 17, 2008


I went with two words because I thought a pithy answer could break her out of the line of thought she was following (needing to be assertive in bed when she's been perfectly content not to be before).

Huh? What? Are you some kind of mentalist? How can two words help 'break' anything other than the askme guidelines? Dude, lay off the bong. Seriously.
posted by damn dirty ape at 12:50 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Sex with my boyfriend is like a graham cracker

Sweet but dry, makes a big mess, and invented to prevent sexual desire?
posted by Plutor at 12:50 PM on July 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


Sitegeist: "That's your interpretation Light Fantastic."

It's pretty much everyone's interpretation so far. Things don't always sound as jerky when you think them as they do when you say them. Trust us on this one, and use three or more words next time someone is asking for relationship help.
posted by Plutor at 12:52 PM on July 17, 2008


Sitegeist, whether or not you meant to be rude, it reads as such. The replies you've given here are much, much better (though I disagree with them). If you went back to the AskMe thread and expanded on your thoughts I'm sure they would be welcomed.
posted by lekvar at 12:52 PM on July 17, 2008


I think the feeling of offence is brought to the answer by the reader

The thing is that at MetaFilter, and in life in general, being offended is always more about the reader rather than the writer. Even if you aren't trying to be offensive, even if you don't think you're being offensive, even if most rational human beings don't think you are being offensive, if your audience reads your comments as offensive then you have offended them.

Obviously you are free to offend anyone you want, but the bottom line is that if you offend a large number of people then your comments are going to be flagged and deleted.
posted by burnmp3s at 12:52 PM on July 17, 2008


I fail to see how it was rude.

I think that's the main point, that you fail to see how it's rude and I'm saying that as someone who prefers answering as you originally did. It seems pretty simple and straightforward, doesn't it? Yet to some people it isn't, and is even considered rude. Why? 'Cause she's asking for advice on how to fix her current relationship and you're telling her to dump all the time and emotion she has invested in it and offering zero explanations why she should do so while offering no other possible options. It's as if you haven't listen to a word she said

Look, you may be right, but such a short, pithy answer doesn't convey much info to the user you're trying to help and which would you rather happen, to help someone or to be right?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:53 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


I fail to see how it was rude.

Perhaps then you should stay out of relationshipfilter type questions. Cuz it's pretty damn clear that it's rude. Or in real life when your wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend/mother/daughter/whatever asks you a question like 'i'm worried about my relationship with x' and you say 'new man' and then walk away, do you actually believe you are being helpful? Cuz that's an entirely DIFFERENT ball of wax.
posted by spicynuts at 12:57 PM on July 17, 2008


My answer deleted.

What did your answer delete?
posted by Pax at 1:06 PM on July 17, 2008


I fail

Too easy.

/drive-by snark attack*
*Snark for the observational LOLs only. No personal insult intended. No Graham Crackers were injured in the making of this comment. Stay in school, kids.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:06 PM on July 17, 2008


Neuman
posted by SPrintF at 1:07 PM on July 17, 2008


Man, I saw the title of this thread and immediately opened the bag of crisps I'd been saving for hours. It turned out OK, but I think the crisps deserved a proper flameout, really.
posted by bonaldi at 1:08 PM on July 17, 2008


I think the crisps deserved a proper flameout, really.

WTFBBQ flavour?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:12 PM on July 17, 2008


Why MeTa?
posted by Sys Rq at 1:15 PM on July 17, 2008


FWIW I'm very disapointed with the deletion reason given for that ducks double. I would have gone with "Ducks, you sucker!".
posted by Artw at 1:22 PM on July 17, 2008


Nah, that reason was good. Replacing it is bad, and with "Ducks, you sucker!" it just gets ugly.
posted by carsonb at 1:26 PM on July 17, 2008


.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 1:27 PM on July 17, 2008


My answer deleted. Please explain why.

Question not made to mods via mail. Please explain why.
posted by davejay at 1:39 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


The problem for me is that I'm painfully shy when it comes to sex. I get embarrassed so easily! Rational or not, I can't even bring up what I like because I'm too terrified of being made fun of. I haven't really had much trouble with this in the past because past boyfriends were a bit controlling, which worked perfectly for me in the bedroom.

In other words, it wasn't a problem in the past with previous lovers but it is with the current one. Why is my answer of moving on from the current lover not considered valid then?


No, from what she wrote it seems like it wasn't a problem in the past because her past lovers didn't really care what she wanted, so she didn't have to deal with what she wanted. Telling her to get a new man, whether or not it is rude, doesn't address her question "How do I stop being so shy in bed?", it addresses this un-asked question: "What can I do to forget how shy I am in bed?"
posted by 23skidoo at 1:49 PM on July 17, 2008


Why does Metafilter hate Sergio Leone puns?
posted by Artw at 1:53 PM on July 17, 2008


Sitegeist, since you're sort of a new member let me give you this advice: Walk away from this thread now. People are just going to keep on piling on in the hopes that you flame out. That is not how the general MeFi community is but there are a lot of jerks on MeTa. You handled this fine. You questioned why your answer was deleted and when you got an answer you accepted it. Stop reading this thread now.
posted by sveskemus at 1:53 PM on July 17, 2008 [4 favorites]


People are just going to keep on piling on in the hopes that you flame out.

No, people are going to keep piling on because he seems to be insisting that he is right.
Agreeing to disagree would be the way to go.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:57 PM on July 17, 2008


My answer deleted. Please explain why.

You need to use complete sentences. "My answer deleted" isn't one, and "please explain why" is barely a fragment, and "new man" is such a throwaway answer that you're actually here debating why it got deleted?

Typing like this makes you sound like an idiot. No, I'm not calling you an idiot. It just makes you sound like an idiot, like you're the head idiot of an international organization of idiotarians.

If you're so rushed that you cannot use English properly or you are so mentally haxxored by using the SMS functions on your phone - please don't post or do get your own blog.

Considering this site is obviously all text, and obviously heavily populated by people who enjoy the written word - illustrating directly that abusing the language this way might be a problem. It shoud be so fucking obvious that I can only imagine it would be like rocks falling from the sky and hitting somone in the head like raindrops. "Hrmmm, many words" *poink!* "Owww? Text small!" *poink!* "Hey, ow! No pictures at all?" *POINK* "OW, hey! What's with rocks? I find pig!"
posted by loquacious at 1:57 PM on July 17, 2008 [12 favorites]


carsonb : ...and with "Ducks, you sucker!" it just gets ugly.

Which is why I always preferred "Suck, you duckers!"

...

Wait, what are we talking about again?
posted by quin at 2:01 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Cute, fluffy little ducklings.
posted by Artw at 2:10 PM on July 17, 2008


Insurance Fraud
posted by Debaser626 at 2:21 PM on July 17, 2008


The Mexican Civil War. Also running from and then learning to accept duty and responsibility.
posted by Artw at 2:23 PM on July 17, 2008


Sauteed, then drizzled with home-made peanut satay?
posted by Dizzy at 2:24 PM on July 17, 2008


I thought we were talking about giant land-walking clockwork automata. The war is still on, right? There are still flying squid to be killed and driven from the sky, right?
posted by loquacious at 2:30 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Pleather.
posted by cashman at 2:32 PM on July 17, 2008


Warm Leatherette
posted by Burhanistan at 2:35 PM on July 17, 2008


D'Rail
posted by Debaser626 at 2:37 PM on July 17, 2008


D'Fail

Anonymous, as my two word answer still appears in this thread in quoted form, although my original has been deleted, I thought I should mention that I give a fuller explanation in this meta-talk thread of my response.

There, only if you're interested.

posted by Sitegeist at 3:31 PM on July 17 [+] [!] [quote]No other comments.

posted by Science! at 2:38 PM on July 17, 2008


Sometimes people just get fixated on an illusion and can't let go.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:42 PM on July 17, 2008


No Fair!
posted by fourcheesemac at 2:45 PM on July 17, 2008


Just...no. Re-type it for FSM's sake and stop playing martyrball.
posted by Skorgu at 3:11 PM on July 17, 2008


New man.
posted by bonaldi at 3:15 PM on July 17, 2008


Oh, man.
posted by box at 3:19 PM on July 17, 2008


Neuman!
posted by Artw at 3:26 PM on July 17, 2008


Martyrball: It isn't whether you win or lose, it's how you lay the blame.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:26 PM on July 17, 2008 [7 favorites]


Get lamp



motherfuckers
posted by Mister_A at 3:48 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Newman!
posted by iamkimiam at 4:04 PM on July 17, 2008


Find Pig awesome game.
posted by Deathalicious at 4:12 PM on July 17, 2008


Unga bunga, mei la gerdsham foo pa!!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:22 PM on July 17, 2008


"Sentence fragment" is a sentence fragment.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:47 PM on July 17, 2008


"Sex with my boyfriend is like a graham cracker"

It's best around a campfire, smothered in melted chocolate and marshmallow?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:53 PM on July 17, 2008


No clue.
posted by flabdablet at 4:58 PM on July 17, 2008



New man.

___________________________________
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 4:59 PM on July 17, 2008 [5 favorites]


Until this reply in this thread I didn't even realise that "New Man" was advice and not a commentary, that it was "[Get a] New Man" and not "[He's a] New Man"... Which is exactly why your answer failed.
posted by benzo8 at 5:05 PM on July 17, 2008


Who Q? Where Q?
posted by Wolfdog at 5:41 PM on July 17, 2008


Controversial rapper Fur Q?
posted by Artw at 6:03 PM on July 17, 2008


That's your interpretation Light Fantastic. I fail to see how it was rude. I didn't insult the questioner, nor her boyfriend.

Yes, you did. I'm sorry you can't see it, but you're not the one who gets to decide how your comments are interpreted. Just count to 100 before pressing "post" next time, ok?
posted by The Light Fantastic at 7:23 PM on July 17, 2008


My answer deleted. Please explain why.

It sucks.
posted by c13 at 7:25 PM on July 17, 2008


Numan.
posted by hangashore at 7:26 PM on July 17, 2008


Numan(uma)
posted by prefpara at 8:06 PM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


Oh, good morning, Dying Alone! How have you been?
posted by grobstein at 8:36 PM on July 17, 2008


Well, I protest again.

The comment I added to the thread quoted by Science! above has now been deleted.

Moderators, you leave my comment in quoted form in the thread but remove my explanation, not intruded into the thread but offered as a link which the reader can choose to follow or not?

I'd like an explanation on what grounds you chose to delete my second posting please.

~ ~ ~

For reference, my second posting in the AskMeFi thread, also now removed (copied from the quote by Science! above):
Anonymous, as my two word answer still appears in this thread in quoted form, although my original has been deleted, I thought I should mention that I give a fuller explanation in this meta-talk thread of my response.

There, only if you're interested.

posted by Sitegeist at 3:31 PM on July 17
posted by Sitegeist at 8:43 PM on July 17, 2008


The in this meta-talk thread was a link to this meta-talk thread of course.
posted by Sitegeist at 8:45 PM on July 17, 2008


Deary me. You're really going to do this to yourself, aren't you? By the way, you are aware of the flagging system, aren't you? It's not just the mods being big meanies and hating you!


(It's everyone else too).
posted by h00py at 8:53 PM on July 17, 2008


"Sex with my boyfriend is like a graham cracker"

But graham crackers are good crushed under cheesecake.
posted by jonmc at 8:58 PM on July 17, 2008


That thread? Not about you. This thread? Apparently pointless.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:59 PM on July 17, 2008


While I generally find "Why Did My Comment Get Deleted?" Metatalk posts incredibly annoying, I want to at least give Sitegeist credit for resisting the temptation to pull the even more aggravating and virtually always dishonest "I don't care that my comment got deleted, I'm just wondering what the decision making process behind it was" tactic.

/glass half full
posted by The Gooch at 9:05 PM on July 17, 2008


Need hug.
posted by bigbigdog at 9:07 PM on July 17, 2008


IRFH, I'm simply putting censorship on record and asking the censors to account for their actions. You may find that pointless, I don't.

The moderators obliged me with answers for the first instance and I accepted their explanation (though continue to disagree with it). I'm now asking for the reasons behind what I see as a much more questionable deletion.

posted by Sitegeist at 9:10 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


You say you accepted it, but I see no evidence that you really understood it.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:11 PM on July 17, 2008


Out of curiosity, why did you choose to post that second comment in AskMe (essentially asking the OP to slog through a long MeTa that isn't about her) rather than simply editing out the irrelevant and reposting what you wrote here?
posted by jamaro at 9:18 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


That just wasn't your thread, was it? You're floating in rarefied air getting two posts from the same thread deleted nine hours apart. Cabal, will you place this in the annals please?
posted by netbros at 9:19 PM on July 17, 2008


AskMe is about providing the best possible answer to the asker, not about satisfying your ego or stunt posting. That's why I mostly avoid it. You probably would have been fine if you'd just commented again with your longer answer. What you did, instead, though, was derail into this thread, which was in no way relevant as an answer. If you don't get that, I doubt that I can help you see it more clearly.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:19 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


It confuses even me, but I hate complaints about censorship on the internet even more than I hate the music of Yes.
posted by katillathehun at 9:20 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Where it says "turn the other cheek", it's not the companion half of the still-stinging bared buttock that should be proffered. Pick up one of those Florences raining down on your parade and read the directions on its label.
posted by peacay at 9:28 PM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


Deleting your stupid, self-righteous babble is not "censorship", fool.

You don't want to do this.



It confuses even me, but I hate complaints about censorship on the internet even more than I hate the music of Yes.

Hell, it's even worse than the Moody Blues.
posted by mr_roboto at 9:31 PM on July 17, 2008


IRFH, I understand the function of AskMe and agree with its rule of keeping answers strictly to the question.

I do not think my answer was egoistic. I see how it could be perceived as stunt posting although I don't agree that it was. But we can agree to disagree on that and that's what I have done upthread.

My reason for simply posting a link was because ppl were telling me in this thread that my point of view was offensive. Not wanting to offend Anonymous by elaborating on my view in the thread, I posted a link to here which she could choose to follow or not. I don't see how that's a derail - it's providing a fuller explanation of my answer to the question should the reader want to read it and hiding it if the reader does not.

posted by Sitegeist at 9:33 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Heavy sigh.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 9:36 PM on July 17, 2008


I'd like an explanation on what grounds you chose to delete my second posting please.

This is a 100 comment MeTa thread at this point. If you have follow-up questions you might get a speedier response if you emailed us. In short, comments to AskMe have to be answers to the question. Yours, which I didn't see, was a link to a MeTa thread. That is not an answer to the question. If you can't leave a comment that is helpful to the OP, please don't bother to comment in the thread. If you have a larger issue with site moderation, that belongs here or in email to us.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:37 PM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


Thanks jessamyn. I don't require a speedy response. I'm posting here rather than emailing to keep things in the open. The hating being expressed doesn't bother me.

I had followed sveskemus' advice not to further engage here until my second post in the AskMeFi thread, which provided a fuller answer to the question through linkage to my explanation here, was also deleted. I'm actually not really wanting to debate this or grandstand, just wanting explanations given in a public place.

posted by Sitegeist at 9:47 PM on July 17, 2008


I'm posting here rather than emailing to keep things in the open.

I think you might be suffering from delusions of relevance. This is just silly and a waste of bits.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 10:03 PM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


Omit needless words.
posted by meehawl at 10:04 PM on July 17, 2008


Nobody likes ...Newman.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:07 PM on July 17, 2008


Too many notes, Sitegeist. Too many notes.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:16 PM on July 17, 2008


You suggest I should follow Mozart's example and start decomposing?
posted by Sitegeist at 10:28 PM on July 17, 2008


Hint: "I answered your question over there" is not the same thing as answering the question.
posted by juv3nal at 10:46 PM on July 17, 2008 [4 favorites]


People are just going to keep on piling on in the hopes that you flame out. That is not how the general MeFi community is but there are a lot of jerks on MeTa.

While I won't dispute that there are a lot of jerks on MeTa and can't deny that I've been among them, I do quibble with your first assertion. The point isn't to make someone flame out/lose their shit/run away from MetaHome and never come back. I don't want people to feel that way, and I'm willing to bet that most other jerks feel the same*. In very few cases is there anything approaching that level of malice and vindictiveness, for the most part we're here for the LOLS by riffing on whatever the stupid MeTa of the day is.
It's not about hurting people, it's about making each other laugh, and in the best case scenario, the poster has enough humour and self-awareness to recognize it and join in as the episode ends with a freezeframe of everyone smiling and laughing as the credits fade up (Stephen J. Cannell and his damn typewriter optional).

*Except for that languagehat guy, that dude's a stone monster.

I'm simply putting censorship on record and asking the censors to account for their actions.

We prefer the term 'unpublished'.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:48 PM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


We prefer the term 'unpublished'.

I can't believe it took 111 comments for someone to make that joke. Not that I was going to make it or anything. [cough]
posted by spiderwire at 11:07 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


I can't believe it took 111 comments for someone to make that joke.

I'm not above squatting for the low-hanging fruit.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:33 PM on July 17, 2008


On non-preview that sounds really, really dirty.

Fortunately those evil, censor-happy mods will probably unpublish it and save my chances of some day running for office. Right?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:37 PM on July 17, 2008


Squatting for the low-hanging fruit is OK. It gets really really dirty when people start squatting for the mishappen giant penis
posted by qvantamon at 11:57 PM on July 17, 2008


Look, Sitegeist, your opinion -- "Maybe you should think about finding a different sexual partner if your current one isn't doing anything for you" would definitely have stayed. It wouldn't have gotten deleted, no matter how apparently "offensive" that opinion was being received in your opinion. The offensiveness of your original suggestion was its brevity.

So don't elaborate by saying, "Okay, you can read my advice if you wish on a wankfest page for myself". That's also easily deletable.

Go back there with your head held high and tell anonymous that they need to find a new boyfriend, one who knows how to hold her arms down, handcuff them to the rails, and take the heck over.

Of course, I respectfully disagree with this position: I think she could try telling him what she wants, which was sort of what she was asking for help for. This wasn't one of those "My boyfriend keeps hitting me. What concealers would you recommend to hide the bruises" type questions where the answer really is DTMF. It was a question about bringing communication into the bedroom, which is why an on-topic answer was actually warranted in this case. You generally only have to argue with the premise of the OP if what they are suggesting is a really, really bad idea. In this case, what she wanted to do was a really, really good idea. When I saw this question I was really, really tempted to say "None" but I didn't, not just because I knew my answer would get deleted, but because it's sort of a stupiid jer response that isn't at all relevant to the topic. I've had questions deleted, and threads deleted, and I just let it go. If it gets deleted, you're not "censored" because the mods are "wrong", this is their house, you're wrong, you deal with it.

The green is a little more sacred than other parts of the site. Snark and off-topic comments are generally okay in the blue and encouraged on the gray, but AskMe is where questions and useful answers come to play.
posted by Deathalicious at 12:10 AM on July 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


Encouraged by whom, you hippo-britanic land mass?!
posted by carsonb at 12:19 AM on July 18, 2008


So, there I was starting a search through MeTa for "censor" to find some real censorship. Then I find this odd search page, which declares that user "demo has been censored!".

Further investigation led to demo's MetaTalk post, which was definitely uncensored.
posted by philomathoholic at 12:45 AM on July 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Actually, you can't search to find censorship, duh!

I found what I was looking for (a big to-do about "deleted answer == censorship"), but the person apologized shortly afterwards, so I would feel bad for bringing it up again.
posted by philomathoholic at 12:55 AM on July 18, 2008


Sensor ship.
posted by Science! at 4:30 AM on July 18, 2008


My answer deleted. Please explain why.

This thread is just loaded with great ideas for new sockpuppet names.
posted by JanetLand at 5:34 AM on July 18, 2008


My reason for simply posting a link was because ppl were telling me in this thread that my point of view was offensive.

Holy crap you just don't get it. Nobody said your point of view was offensive. EVERYBODY said your TWO WORD SHIT DUMP in the thread was not an answer at all and thus had no point of view because two words, a noun and an adjective, do not convey anything other than a grunted command. Nobody's gonna delete your point of view, but you have to freakin ELABORATE what exactly your point of view is, using, you know, your words, instead of pulling your lips off your Schlitz can for three seconds to bark a command at a poor girl before going back to scratching your nuts through your boxers. Seriously, man, try to get a grip.
posted by spicynuts at 7:53 AM on July 18, 2008 [6 favorites]


When my comments get deleted I kill a kitten

So Sitegeist, I kill one for you OK? I send you fur, you make glove.

win win.
posted by mattoxic at 8:11 AM on July 18, 2008


pulling your lips off your Schlitz can for three seconds to bark a command at a poor girl before going back to scratching your nuts through your boxers.

Don't you dare judge my marriage!


For what it's worth, I think Sitegeist is doing fine in posting this MetaTalk and continuing to post problems as he sees it. Clearly he disagreed with something and wanted an explanation, but that's what MetaTalk is for. He's ignoring all the people treating him like crap, and continually asking for clarification of things he doesn't understand. Most of the drama in this thread is from people getting angry at him, not him acting like a jackass.

Yeah, maybe he's coming off as a bit dense, but having patience for someone with a different opinion or understanding might do the community some good..
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:20 AM on July 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yeah, maybe he's coming off as a bit dense, but having patience for someone with a different opinion or understanding might do the community some good..

It's like telling a blind man that the sky is blue, and having him say "no it's not." You have to admit it's a bit frustrating.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 8:40 AM on July 18, 2008


To be fair, the sky is actually gray this morning.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:55 AM on July 18, 2008


Negative. Here in the Midwest it's clearly a teal paisley.

Something is seriously wrong here.
posted by Science! at 8:58 AM on July 18, 2008


The point isn't to make someone flame out/lose their shit/run away from MetaHome and never come back.

Of course it is.

It's not about hurting people

Yes, it is.

Most of the drama in this thread is from people getting angry at him, not him acting like a jackass.

Bingo.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:00 AM on July 18, 2008


Incredible Criminals
posted by Burhanistan at 9:03 AM on July 18, 2008


Actually "Ducks, you sucker!" doesn;t really make a lot of sense for indicating it's a double, it should really be "Ducked, you sucker!". With a link. They can include links, right?
posted by Artw at 9:19 AM on July 18, 2008


The sky here at the right coast is the color of a TV tuned to a dead channel.
posted by BeerFilter at 9:27 AM on July 18, 2008


It sucked.

Try using more words next time.

It was a rude answer to a sincere question.

It's pretty much everyone's interpretation so far.


OK, I don't think Sitegeist is doing him/herself any favors by posting this is in MeTa, or by his/her behavior in this thread. But just to weigh in on the other side, I didn't see anything wrong with the two-word reply.

I guess I'm just a dick too.
posted by Rykey at 9:28 AM on July 18, 2008


Most of the drama in this thread is from people getting angry at him, not him acting like a jackass.

Really? So playing the censorship card is not acting like a jackass?
posted by spicynuts at 9:36 AM on July 18, 2008


The sky here at the right coast is the color of a TV tuned to a dead channel.

Yeah, on the left coast too, and COLD! (yes, I lied to the blind guy)

OK, I don't think Sitegeist is doing him/herself any favors by posting this is in MeTa, or by his/her behavior in this thread. But just to weigh in on the other side, I didn't see anything wrong with the two-word reply.

I thought it was rude, but not really tag worthy - more just brusque, clueless, insensitive and a bit self-indulgent (in other words, situation normal around here) - but the MeTa just put me over the edge, I guess. I don't even see how anyone could generate even a molecule of controversy over the deletion - I think that this is a case in which the stink made after the fact colors the original act.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 9:37 AM on July 18, 2008


Really? So playing the censorship card is not acting like a jackass?

No, it's someone with a different interpretation of the word, possibly due to not being American on an American dominated site. He doesn't seem to be coming off as a crazed hostile person, wanting to make life difficult for the mods, so cut'em some slack and explain things slowly and patiently, just as you would like someone to do for you if you're having trouble grasping a concept.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:08 AM on July 18, 2008


He is Australian, after all.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:18 AM on July 18, 2008


I like Australians.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:24 AM on July 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


No, it's someone with a different interpretation of the word, possibly due to not being American on an American dominated site.

I am glad you pointed that out. When he mentioned asking the censors to account for their actions, I immediately thought he was a Ron Paul enthusiast ready to compare the mods to the "MSM".

But he's Australian. Sorry.
posted by Gary at 11:18 AM on July 18, 2008


I fail to see a non-American vs. American angle.
posted by Artw at 11:20 AM on July 18, 2008


I fail to see a non-American vs. American angle.

You're probably Canadian then.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:46 AM on July 18, 2008


I don't have time to read 130 comments and remark about such a thing, so please see languagehat's probable previous comment.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:53 PM on July 18, 2008


My answer deleted. Please explain why.


Should play Rorscach in new Watchmen movie. Would be perfect casting.
posted by poppo at 6:39 PM on July 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


Terse.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:41 AM on July 19, 2008


Actually "Ducks, you sucker!" doesn;t really make a lot of sense for indicating it's a double, it should really be "Ducked, you sucker!". With a link. They can include links, right?

When I go on vacation, the mean time spent composing deletion reasons drops significantly. It's a craft and a curse and it's all I got goin' for me.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:55 PM on July 21, 2008


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