The healing power of Mefites August 20, 2008 7:38 AM Subscribe
The responses to this AskMe are a "Best of" for me. Dunno if this is the venue... but I need to express myself!
The misunderstood teenager in me, perpetually estranged from her family, (for reasons that are deeper than being punk and enjoying the DC Summer of '85), got some healing from the thoughtful and wise responses that I didn't know she still needed. There are some great present and future parents in this community.
The misunderstood teenager in me, perpetually estranged from her family, (for reasons that are deeper than being punk and enjoying the DC Summer of '85), got some healing from the thoughtful and wise responses that I didn't know she still needed. There are some great present and future parents in this community.
::starts Facebook group::
posted by kate blank at 8:53 AM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by kate blank at 8:53 AM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
You know, I was thinking that myself. I wasn't a gothy kid myself, though in retrospect I'd probably have been much happier if I'd been - though that'd've also required a comfort with the concept of self-managed appearance that I didn't figure out until the end of high school. Regardless, yes, it's a really wonderful thread and it's given me some great points I didn't explicitly think about in the past that I'm definitely going to keep around in case my currently-reproducing-furiously cousins get antsy over their kids' appearances.
This is why metafilter is great. Right here.
posted by Tomorrowful at 8:53 AM on August 20, 2008
This is why metafilter is great. Right here.
posted by Tomorrowful at 8:53 AM on August 20, 2008
When I started teaching in a high school setting about ten years ago, I had a lot of classroom management problems with the 'rebel' kids. What really changed my life and made teaching a lot easier was *really* believing that all kids have potential, and that all it takes is hard work to be successful. That way, I wasn't allowed to give up on a kid because they were stupid (because no kids are); the kids themselves, however, had the responsibility to live up to their potential, and part of that responsibility meant working hard.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:53 AM on August 20, 2008
posted by KokuRyu at 8:53 AM on August 20, 2008
This is a great AskMe post.
And as an aside, when I think of the goth/punk kids that are trying to be rebellious and receive nothing but support and adoration, and the conniptions they have as a result, I laugh a little to myself.
posted by booticon at 9:12 AM on August 20, 2008 [3 favorites]
And as an aside, when I think of the goth/punk kids that are trying to be rebellious and receive nothing but support and adoration, and the conniptions they have as a result, I laugh a little to myself.
posted by booticon at 9:12 AM on August 20, 2008 [3 favorites]
Well, I'd think about suggesting some *proper* punk/goth/industrial music, not this modern rubbish. But it probably wouldn't work would it?
posted by Artw at 9:33 AM on August 20, 2008
posted by Artw at 9:33 AM on August 20, 2008
And as an aside, when I think of the goth/punk kids that are trying to be rebellious and receive nothing but support and adoration, and the conniptions they have as a result, I laugh a little to myself.
Well, in a lot of cases, the rebellion isn't against - or isn't just against - parents who might be supportive. It's also against their peers.
posted by Tomorrowful at 9:44 AM on August 20, 2008
Well, in a lot of cases, the rebellion isn't against - or isn't just against - parents who might be supportive. It's also against their peers.
posted by Tomorrowful at 9:44 AM on August 20, 2008
"Honey, I'm not letting you eat dessert until you watch this Throbbing Gristle video."
posted by naju at 9:56 AM on August 20, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by naju at 9:56 AM on August 20, 2008 [5 favorites]
Does anyone else remember the Austin Stories episode where Chip started hanging out with some goth kids? He was finally the cool guy in the group for once, and everything was fine until the kids' parents found out and assumed he was some kind of cult leader.
Aside from being hilarious I thought it was pretty much pitch perfect about why it's an appealing subculture for kids who don't fit in with more mainstream groups.
posted by burnmp3s at 10:32 AM on August 20, 2008
Aside from being hilarious I thought it was pretty much pitch perfect about why it's an appealing subculture for kids who don't fit in with more mainstream groups.
posted by burnmp3s at 10:32 AM on August 20, 2008
RE the girl person on the left in the picture dersins linked to: That same look has been a money maker for Horatio Caine. Wait, is that David Caruso?
posted by Cranberry at 10:52 AM on August 20, 2008
posted by Cranberry at 10:52 AM on August 20, 2008
Are you Morpheus?
Yes.
I've been looking for you, ND¢ . I don't know if you're ready to see what I want to show you, but unfortunately, you and I have run out of dollar bills. The bouncers are coming for you, ND¢ , and I don't know what they're going to do.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:56 AM on August 20, 2008
Yes.
I've been looking for you, ND¢ . I don't know if you're ready to see what I want to show you, but unfortunately, you and I have run out of dollar bills. The bouncers are coming for you, ND¢ , and I don't know what they're going to do.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:56 AM on August 20, 2008
Oh, and while in the forensic arena, the Goth look has made the Abby character stand out in NCIS. Not that everyone should have a spider web tattoo.
posted by Cranberry at 10:58 AM on August 20, 2008
posted by Cranberry at 10:58 AM on August 20, 2008
All things are relative.
My friends and I with children joke that our nightmare scenario is our kid coming home one day and telling us that they want to start shopping at Gap, and are voting Republican. I can easily see myself yelling "NOT WHILE YOU LIVE UNDER MY ROOF" at my kid over something like that.
One of my friends is an old-school goth, and her daughter, for a period of time, was deeply into pink and frills and and such. It was a long few years for everyone.
posted by scrump at 10:58 AM on August 20, 2008
My friends and I with children joke that our nightmare scenario is our kid coming home one day and telling us that they want to start shopping at Gap, and are voting Republican. I can easily see myself yelling "NOT WHILE YOU LIVE UNDER MY ROOF" at my kid over something like that.
One of my friends is an old-school goth, and her daughter, for a period of time, was deeply into pink and frills and and such. It was a long few years for everyone.
posted by scrump at 10:58 AM on August 20, 2008
My friends and I with children joke that our nightmare scenario is our kid coming home one day and telling us that they want to start shopping at Gap, and are voting Republican. I can easily see myself yelling "NOT WHILE YOU LIVE UNDER MY ROOF" at my kid over something like that.
What would we do baby without us? / What would we do baby without us?
And there aint no nothing we can't love each other through.
What would we do baby without u-u-us?
Sha la la la
posted by eyeballkid at 11:23 AM on August 20, 2008 [3 favorites]
What would we do baby without us? / What would we do baby without us?
And there aint no nothing we can't love each other through.
What would we do baby without u-u-us?
Sha la la la
posted by eyeballkid at 11:23 AM on August 20, 2008 [3 favorites]
I remember hearing a John Waters interview where he said parents shouldn't worry about their kids dressing funny or dying their hair nearly as much as they should worry about the kids getting tattoos or being demonstrably self-destructive. Even piercings will close up eventually, he pointed out (the interview was years before things like earlobe plugs started appearing in flyover country).
Thanks for pointing out the Askme thread, mistsandrain. I wish it had appeared in time to help my friends when they were in high school.
posted by ardgedee at 12:20 PM on August 20, 2008
Thanks for pointing out the Askme thread, mistsandrain. I wish it had appeared in time to help my friends when they were in high school.
posted by ardgedee at 12:20 PM on August 20, 2008
Wow, that was a fantastic read. It's nice to see a bit of parenting advice were pretty much everyone agrees.
Interestingly, it actually gave me some insight into how clever my own mother was when dealing with me doing my punk thing in high-school.
posted by quin at 12:32 PM on August 20, 2008
Interestingly, it actually gave me some insight into how clever my own mother was when dealing with me doing my punk thing in high-school.
posted by quin at 12:32 PM on August 20, 2008
Yeah, for a while in high school i had purple and white hair and earlobe plugs and wore black lipstick. I was also straight edge and played varsity soccer for four years. My parents just explained that as long as i didn't get arrested and generally respected people, everything would be ok.
posted by schyler523 at 12:42 PM on August 20, 2008
posted by schyler523 at 12:42 PM on August 20, 2008
That was a great AskMe thread - I went back and reread the whole thing! Boy, things have changed since I was in high school (Class of '78 representing!) and in many ways for the better, it seems.
When I was a teenager, the only recognized roles to choose from were Jock, Preppy/Cheerleader, Greaser or Hopeless Despised Nerd. The first 3 were the cool kids but those categories always involved way too much drinking, drugs, and the usual sequelae. Nerds weren't cool back then (no personal computers and no internet meant no place for nerds to shine, or at least fix things for the cool kids). I don't remember ever seeing colorful hair dye, tattoo parlors were scary places in the bad part of town, and any piercings apart from earlobes were accidental and required a tetanus shot. We were dull!
It's great that some more interesting and fun roles are available to teens who don't fit the mainstream hyperconsumerist mindset, yet don't want to drop out of "normal" life altogether. If I had kids I'd much prefer them to sport blue hair, weird clothes and a healthy skepticism than accept the unquestioning anti-intellectual "I am what I buy" attitude of mainstream America. (I hear ya, scrump!)
Anyway, I'm an old geezer in MeFi terms, but it's nice to see that you kids these days are turning out OK. Just stay offa my lawn, you hear?
posted by Quietgal at 12:49 PM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
When I was a teenager, the only recognized roles to choose from were Jock, Preppy/Cheerleader, Greaser or Hopeless Despised Nerd. The first 3 were the cool kids but those categories always involved way too much drinking, drugs, and the usual sequelae. Nerds weren't cool back then (no personal computers and no internet meant no place for nerds to shine, or at least fix things for the cool kids). I don't remember ever seeing colorful hair dye, tattoo parlors were scary places in the bad part of town, and any piercings apart from earlobes were accidental and required a tetanus shot. We were dull!
It's great that some more interesting and fun roles are available to teens who don't fit the mainstream hyperconsumerist mindset, yet don't want to drop out of "normal" life altogether. If I had kids I'd much prefer them to sport blue hair, weird clothes and a healthy skepticism than accept the unquestioning anti-intellectual "I am what I buy" attitude of mainstream America. (I hear ya, scrump!)
Anyway, I'm an old geezer in MeFi terms, but it's nice to see that you kids these days are turning out OK. Just stay offa my lawn, you hear?
posted by Quietgal at 12:49 PM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
Sha la la la
I did a cover of that a few years ago as the alternatate theme song to a fictional sitcom called It's Jay.
Which doesn't really have anything to do with anything, but this is probably the only context in which mentioning the preceding will ever be anything like appropriate.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:54 PM on August 20, 2008
I did a cover of that a few years ago as the alternatate theme song to a fictional sitcom called It's Jay.
Which doesn't really have anything to do with anything, but this is probably the only context in which mentioning the preceding will ever be anything like appropriate.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:54 PM on August 20, 2008
When I was a child, for many, many reasons that have taken much therapy and rock-bottom experiences to sort out- I was alienated from my family. For those who have seen Ordinary People- both of my parents could have been Mary Tyler Moore's character, on booze. At the age of 11, when, from the car, I first set my eyes on a group of punks loitering on a DC corner, I knew I had to be like them. It is not melodramatic when I say that punk and my family of punk friends saved me for a time. I did, however, end up pursuing a path of self destruction for a while- but I certainly don't blame the punk part of my lifestyle back then. If anything, because of the genuine connections I made with people of that slant, I was spirited enough to finally save myself.
posted by mistsandrain at 1:08 PM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by mistsandrain at 1:08 PM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
Yeah, my nephew is 2 months old and he's getting Slayer's 'Reign in Blood' for his christening present. It'll do him good and he'll never have an embarrassing 'my first album' story.
I'll just forward my sis the AskMe thread on how to deal with my meddling later.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:31 PM on August 20, 2008
I'll just forward my sis the AskMe thread on how to deal with my meddling later.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:31 PM on August 20, 2008
Punk rock broadened my horizons and got me laid.
(And, 20+ years later, I can report that most of my friends from that time are successful adults with interesting careers. Definitely a higher percentage than my high-school class as a whole.)
posted by D.C. at 6:26 PM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
(And, 20+ years later, I can report that most of my friends from that time are successful adults with interesting careers. Definitely a higher percentage than my high-school class as a whole.)
posted by D.C. at 6:26 PM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
My first album was Sir-Mix-a-Lot Swass. No regrets.
posted by team lowkey at 12:34 AM on August 21, 2008
posted by team lowkey at 12:34 AM on August 21, 2008
Yeah, my nephew is 2 months old and he's getting Slayer's 'Reign in Blood' for his christening present.
I gave my Nephew a stuffed panda and a copy of SlaughterHouse 5. I figure the panda would keep him company until he learned to read, and Uncle Kurt would get him tghrough at least until his 20s.
On the other hand, if Slayer was my first Album, I'd be totally embarrassed. Because 'The Smurf's All-Star Show' is just so much more rocktacular.
posted by Sparx at 4:15 AM on August 21, 2008
I gave my Nephew a stuffed panda and a copy of SlaughterHouse 5. I figure the panda would keep him company until he learned to read, and Uncle Kurt would get him tghrough at least until his 20s.
On the other hand, if Slayer was my first Album, I'd be totally embarrassed. Because 'The Smurf's All-Star Show' is just so much more rocktacular.
posted by Sparx at 4:15 AM on August 21, 2008
I was in high school in the late sixties. Did my best to rock the horn-rimmed glasses look. No pocket protector though ... just let the ink stain my shirt.
posted by netbros at 4:30 AM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by netbros at 4:30 AM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
Wow, thanks for bringing this to the attention of those of us who don't hang out in the green much. It's kind of a specialty of mine, so I'm glad I got in under the wire!
posted by Fenriss at 1:24 PM on August 21, 2008
posted by Fenriss at 1:24 PM on August 21, 2008
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posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:26 AM on August 20, 2008