!@#$% September 13, 2008 10:20 PM Subscribe
Where did this come from???
Okay, I don't even know what the last one meant--does "little debbie snake cake" refer to a woman's breasts???
- mount their female friends and some how continue to think they can commence with the mounting
- they should be at least decent enough to hit us off with a booty call every now and then, you know, as a thanks for the friendship
- bumping uglies, dropping trow and little debbie snake cakes
Okay, I don't even know what the last one meant--does "little debbie snake cake" refer to a woman's breasts???
I was partial to Star Crunches myself, as a kid.
What I wasn't partial to was guys who didn't understand that I really did like them as people and wanted to be friends, but had no interest in a romantic or sexual relationship, and I think that's what the post you're concerned about was getting at. As a woman, it's very frustrating to try to maintain a friendship with someone who refuses to get that there is no "next level".
posted by padraigin at 10:40 PM on September 13, 2008 [3 favorites]
What I wasn't partial to was guys who didn't understand that I really did like them as people and wanted to be friends, but had no interest in a romantic or sexual relationship, and I think that's what the post you're concerned about was getting at. As a woman, it's very frustrating to try to maintain a friendship with someone who refuses to get that there is no "next level".
posted by padraigin at 10:40 PM on September 13, 2008 [3 favorites]
Mmm. Little Debbie snack cakes... guilty pleasure of my youth. The best were the Swiss rolls.
posted by scody at 10:45 PM on September 13, 2008
posted by scody at 10:45 PM on September 13, 2008
padraigin, I really do respect what you're saying, but why does it have to be one extreme or another? Why does a guy have to be your friend with no romantic or sexual feelings for you at all, or a total jerk on the other?
Aren't there men and women who share platonic relationships with each other where they feel comfortable enough to enjoy each others company to the extent that they might even not mind flirting a bit, or is that out of bounds. Truly, I'm totally unawares to this, and I'd like to know for future reference.
In the case of the friend I'm talking about--yeah, sure I flirt with her, a bit, and she doesn't seem to mind, thankfully.
posted by hadjiboy at 10:59 PM on September 13, 2008
Aren't there men and women who share platonic relationships with each other where they feel comfortable enough to enjoy each others company to the extent that they might even not mind flirting a bit, or is that out of bounds. Truly, I'm totally unawares to this, and I'd like to know for future reference.
In the case of the friend I'm talking about--yeah, sure I flirt with her, a bit, and she doesn't seem to mind, thankfully.
posted by hadjiboy at 10:59 PM on September 13, 2008
wow, hadjiboy, too bad there's not a thread where people were talking about that very subject.
oh.
posted by niles at 11:02 PM on September 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
oh.
posted by niles at 11:02 PM on September 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
It's dropping TROU, short for TROUSERS. Jesus, people; has Marky Mark taught us nothing?
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:03 PM on September 13, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:03 PM on September 13, 2008 [2 favorites]
Um, niles--the topic of that thread was to discuss male-female relationships, but since I'm not a clairvoyant like you, I was unaware that padraigin was going to post something in relation to that. So, I had one of two choices:
1. Either I could go back and post this stuff over there
or
2. Waste five minutes of my time composing this stupid shit for you...
posted by hadjiboy at 11:12 PM on September 13, 2008
1. Either I could go back and post this stuff over there
or
2. Waste five minutes of my time composing this stupid shit for you...
posted by hadjiboy at 11:12 PM on September 13, 2008
It's called MeFi mail, and it's something you should use.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 11:42 PM on September 13, 2008
posted by Solon and Thanks at 11:42 PM on September 13, 2008
It's dropping TROU, short for TROUSERS. Jesus, people; has Marky Mark taught us nothing?
Anyone who mentions Marky Mark gets a favorite from me.
hadjiboy, the things you mentioned are mostly "Americanisms" (i.e. American slang words/phrases for naughty things)... I'm sorry you're so torn by your AskMe situation, but you've gotten a lot of good answers in the thread (even the ones with slang and Americanisms). Hopefully you'll get answers here that will supplement the answers you got there. If not, you can always Google the terminology that you don't understand.
posted by amyms at 11:43 PM on September 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
Anyone who mentions Marky Mark gets a favorite from me.
hadjiboy, the things you mentioned are mostly "Americanisms" (i.e. American slang words/phrases for naughty things)... I'm sorry you're so torn by your AskMe situation, but you've gotten a lot of good answers in the thread (even the ones with slang and Americanisms). Hopefully you'll get answers here that will supplement the answers you got there. If not, you can always Google the terminology that you don't understand.
posted by amyms at 11:43 PM on September 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
OATMEAL CREAM PIE.
NUTTY BAR.
OR GTFO.
posted by loquacious at 11:48 PM on September 13, 2008 [7 favorites]
NUTTY BAR.
OR GTFO.
posted by loquacious at 11:48 PM on September 13, 2008 [7 favorites]
No, I'm aware of the terminology (except for the Debbie Snack Cakes) but I didn't think it was appropriate to have been used in that thread.
S and T, sorry for being dense, but I wanted to post this here and ask you guys what you thought of using slang in a thread where there was no cause to. You know, get a consensus of sorts--basically do what the site was designed to do.
posted by hadjiboy at 11:59 PM on September 13, 2008
S and T, sorry for being dense, but I wanted to post this here and ask you guys what you thought of using slang in a thread where there was no cause to. You know, get a consensus of sorts--basically do what the site was designed to do.
posted by hadjiboy at 11:59 PM on September 13, 2008
loquacious: it's ON, bitch.
*throws down creme-filled gauntlet*
posted by scody at 11:59 PM on September 13, 2008 [6 favorites]
*throws down creme-filled gauntlet*
posted by scody at 11:59 PM on September 13, 2008 [6 favorites]
S and T, sorry for being dense, but I wanted to post this here and ask you guys what you thought of using slang in a thread where there was no cause to. You know, get a consensus of sorts--basically do what the site was designed to do.
I was interpreting your purpose as more of a call out at worst and a misunderstanding of wfrgms's post at best (things best solved by mefimail, thus my post.)
Apologies for misreading you. I personally have no problem with slang (it wouldn't even occur to me that "mount" and "booty call" aren't wildly understood) and use urbandictionary.com when I don't understand it.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:09 AM on September 14, 2008
I was interpreting your purpose as more of a call out at worst and a misunderstanding of wfrgms's post at best (things best solved by mefimail, thus my post.)
Apologies for misreading you. I personally have no problem with slang (it wouldn't even occur to me that "mount" and "booty call" aren't wildly understood) and use urbandictionary.com when I don't understand it.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:09 AM on September 14, 2008
Er... widely, not wildly. How Freudian of me.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:10 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:10 AM on September 14, 2008
Hey, could I get some snacks too?
And by snacks, i mean junk food.
posted by Pronoiac at 12:13 AM on September 14, 2008
And by snacks, i mean junk food.
posted by Pronoiac at 12:13 AM on September 14, 2008
it wouldn't even occur to me that "mount" and "booty call" aren't wildly understood
Of course they are, but what business did it have being in that thread?
Just saying.
posted by hadjiboy at 12:15 AM on September 14, 2008
Of course they are, but what business did it have being in that thread?
Just saying.
posted by hadjiboy at 12:15 AM on September 14, 2008
Some people use slang to make a point. If you have a problem with the point made and not the usage of "mount" instead of "have sexual intercourse with" that's another issue.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:18 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:18 AM on September 14, 2008
Aw. That is a little vulgar. This is hadjiboy who's asking for advice, people, not some scuzzball. MeFi's own hadjiboy. And I like wfgmgssms (not sure I got that right) and don't mind vulgarity in general, but ...this is hadjiboy! Have you seen the posts he's made? He's a sensitive guy.
posted by Locative at 12:20 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by Locative at 12:20 AM on September 14, 2008
Can we not do that sort of thing? Please?
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:46 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:46 AM on September 14, 2008
Ok, it made me laugh.
The contact form probably would have been a better way to handle this.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:49 AM on September 14, 2008
The contact form probably would have been a better way to handle this.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:49 AM on September 14, 2008
the comment is pure assholery disguised as an answer, and should be deleted.
posted by Rumple at 12:54 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Rumple at 12:54 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
This is probably not true in your case, but speaking from experience in my own past, sometimes the advice that makes me the most angry, that seems to strike a nerve, that would make me grit my teeth, is the advice that most hits home. It's because consciously, or unconsciously even, I would recognize that the advisor was absolutely right which meant that I would have to change. Recognizing that change within ourselves is the true path to problem resolution is hard because it takes effort to change, unlike simply sitting back and searching for parrots who will agree that the situation can't be a fault of our own.
posted by netbros at 12:57 AM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by netbros at 12:57 AM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
hadjiboy said: I wanted to post this here and ask you guys what you thought of using slang in a thread where there was no cause to.
I'm not sure why you object to the slang itself. Yes it was maybe crude by some people's estimates, but it was still an on-topic answer.
posted by amyms at 1:12 AM on September 14, 2008
I'm not sure why you object to the slang itself. Yes it was maybe crude by some people's estimates, but it was still an on-topic answer.
posted by amyms at 1:12 AM on September 14, 2008
I'm guessing that you object to the slang, and the off-color terminology, because you still harbor a fantasy that your crush will one day wake up and say "Ohmigod, yes! I've been in love with hadji all along! How could I have not seen this wonderful, attentive man standing before me?! Now we can live happily ever after!" and the crude slang doesn't fit in with your fantasy of love/purity/wonderfulness... But, sorry, hadjiboy, as sweet as you seem and as honorable as I'm sure your intentions are, real life just doesn't work that way. You've gotten really good advice in your original AskMe thread, and I hope you can come to terms with it, without getting bogged down in the minutiae of what phrases/words/terms were used.
posted by amyms at 1:16 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by amyms at 1:16 AM on September 14, 2008
I was just thinking this particular ask needed a second thread to go over, as it's the weekend and there's no new political news, and wham! Delivery!
posted by iamabot at 1:28 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by iamabot at 1:28 AM on September 14, 2008
Also, the cake is a lie.
posted by iamabot at 1:31 AM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by iamabot at 1:31 AM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
People make booty calls for snack cakes?
Jesus, this Rule 34 is getting out of hand.
(Hand. No pun intended.)
posted by orthogonality at 1:35 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
Jesus, this Rule 34 is getting out of hand.
(Hand. No pun intended.)
posted by orthogonality at 1:35 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
The nutty bar, oh, my long lost friend...
The secret is to pry the layers of wafer apart, eating them one at a time, savoring the chocolate and peanut butter gobbed onto a single, ever-so-crispy wafer. The answer to all of life's problems, really. They even come in packs of two, so you can share them...
So, scody, bring that cream filled gauntlet. My hands are covered in warm, gooey chocolate, and that stuff stains.
posted by Ghidorah at 1:47 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
The secret is to pry the layers of wafer apart, eating them one at a time, savoring the chocolate and peanut butter gobbed onto a single, ever-so-crispy wafer. The answer to all of life's problems, really. They even come in packs of two, so you can share them...
So, scody, bring that cream filled gauntlet. My hands are covered in warm, gooey chocolate, and that stuff stains.
posted by Ghidorah at 1:47 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
If you nibble the chocolate coating away on diagonally opposite corners of a Tim Tam, you will find that you are able to suck up your coffee through it like a straw. You can do this for approximately two seconds before the whole thing melts and falls to bits. If you suck coffee through a Tim Tam, then pop the whole thing in your mouth before it falls apart, you've done the Tim Tam Slam.
The Tim Tam Slam is so far in front of any conceivable American snack enjoyment technology that arguing about the runner-up is utterly pointless.
posted by flabdablet at 2:07 AM on September 14, 2008 [11 favorites]
The Tim Tam Slam is so far in front of any conceivable American snack enjoyment technology that arguing about the runner-up is utterly pointless.
posted by flabdablet at 2:07 AM on September 14, 2008 [11 favorites]
Granted, the whole "women should have booty calls with their friends every so often" joke was arguably a strange aside
I didn't think it was a strange aside. I thought it was a reference to how wfrgms believes men typically think/feel about this subject.
Of course, he's wrong. We only want occasional booty calls with our hot female friends. The others are welcome to keep on saving it up for a rainy day.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:12 AM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
I didn't think it was a strange aside. I thought it was a reference to how wfrgms believes men typically think/feel about this subject.
Of course, he's wrong. We only want occasional booty calls with our hot female friends. The others are welcome to keep on saving it up for a rainy day.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:12 AM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
I found that comment disgusting and offensive, but only because every time I read
Are you emotionally mature enough to not loose your shit
it's very difficult for me not to think of the horror with which I first realized as a child what my grandmother's 'Stool Softener' was for. Ugh.
Look, people, I think we can all agree that you don't even have to be emotionally mature to be mature enough not to let your feces start leaking. Or at least not to let us know about it. We shouldn't even have to discuss letting shit get loose.
Maybe somebody shouldn't eat so many snack cakes.
posted by koeselitz at 2:14 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
Are you emotionally mature enough to not loose your shit
it's very difficult for me not to think of the horror with which I first realized as a child what my grandmother's 'Stool Softener' was for. Ugh.
Look, people, I think we can all agree that you don't even have to be emotionally mature to be mature enough not to let your feces start leaking. Or at least not to let us know about it. We shouldn't even have to discuss letting shit get loose.
Maybe somebody shouldn't eat so many snack cakes.
posted by koeselitz at 2:14 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
mrzarquon: Don't think this needs to be a meta, but its a typo, and means "little debbie snack cake", which is well, a small snack cake.
I feel that way as well. It's a very reasonable thing wgrbrsfsrs brings up in that comment, in fact: many's the time that I've had a good relationship with a female friend go sour because I have a habit of enjoying small, cellophane-wrapped pastries, and because my snack-food boundaries are too lax. In vain do I tell them that I'll buy them more if they really want me to, or that those little oatmeal cookies that are so much softer than real oatmeal cookies and have the benefit of that tiny layer of marshmallow-like 'creme' betwixt them are oh-so-irresistible. I've said 'look, I'm sorry I stole your dessert' so many times that the phrase has lost all meaning at this point.
posted by koeselitz at 2:23 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
I feel that way as well. It's a very reasonable thing wgrbrsfsrs brings up in that comment, in fact: many's the time that I've had a good relationship with a female friend go sour because I have a habit of enjoying small, cellophane-wrapped pastries, and because my snack-food boundaries are too lax. In vain do I tell them that I'll buy them more if they really want me to, or that those little oatmeal cookies that are so much softer than real oatmeal cookies and have the benefit of that tiny layer of marshmallow-like 'creme' betwixt them are oh-so-irresistible. I've said 'look, I'm sorry I stole your dessert' so many times that the phrase has lost all meaning at this point.
posted by koeselitz at 2:23 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
hadjiboy's question was about how to have a relationship with a woman that you are currently friends with. wfrgms' answer seems to be based on the assumption that hadjiboy isn't actually interested in a relationship with this woman but just wants to have sex with her. My guess is that this is what hadjiboy was objecting to rather than the slang.
posted by rjs at 3:06 AM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by rjs at 3:06 AM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
you are --> he is.
Let's not make this any more complicated than it already is. Damn it.
posted by rjs at 3:07 AM on September 14, 2008
Let's not make this any more complicated than it already is. Damn it.
posted by rjs at 3:07 AM on September 14, 2008
Q: Will I win $30,000,000 in the lottery tomorrow? Please only post positive answers.
Q: I need to write a PhD thesis in molecular chemistry from scratch by 8.00 am tomorrow. Only HELPFUL answers, please!
Q: I'm looking for you personally to go down the store and buy me a quart of milk, maybe some gum. You know the rules of AskMe, so please don't post any negative, irrelevant bullshit. And hurry up!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 3:16 AM on September 14, 2008 [9 favorites]
Q: I need to write a PhD thesis in molecular chemistry from scratch by 8.00 am tomorrow. Only HELPFUL answers, please!
Q: I'm looking for you personally to go down the store and buy me a quart of milk, maybe some gum. You know the rules of AskMe, so please don't post any negative, irrelevant bullshit. And hurry up!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 3:16 AM on September 14, 2008 [9 favorites]
A: No, you did not buy a ticket for the $30,000,000 lottery
A: If this answer is not part of the solution, then it is part of the precipitate.
A: DTMFA
posted by dirty lies at 5:39 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
A: If this answer is not part of the solution, then it is part of the precipitate.
A: DTMFA
posted by dirty lies at 5:39 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
Little Debbie Snack Cakes are disgusting. Unless they are frozen, in which case they are arguably better than dropping trou (or trow). Especially those Swiss Rolls.
posted by headnsouth at 5:59 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by headnsouth at 5:59 AM on September 14, 2008
I want to be included in the pirate treasure notification from my friends too.
posted by tellurian at 6:04 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by tellurian at 6:04 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
With those quotes in context, I think they're perfectly fine.
Seriously, you posted an AskMe knowing the answer you'd get, and tried to head off that answer in the first post.
posted by graventy at 6:14 AM on September 14, 2008
Seriously, you posted an AskMe knowing the answer you'd get, and tried to head off that answer in the first post.
posted by graventy at 6:14 AM on September 14, 2008
Aw. That is a little vulgar. This is hadjiboy who's asking for advice, people, not some scuzzball. MeFi's own hadjiboy. And I like wfgmgssms (not sure I got that right) and don't mind vulgarity in general, but ...this is hadjiboy! Have you seen the posts he's made? He's a sensitive guy.
QFT.
(Everyone needs ahug bosom for a pillow)
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:16 AM on September 14, 2008
QFT.
(Everyone needs a
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:16 AM on September 14, 2008
Y'all are missing the point. TWINKIES.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:18 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:18 AM on September 14, 2008
i don't think snake cake is the right phrase
posted by pyramid termite at 6:21 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by pyramid termite at 6:21 AM on September 14, 2008
snake cake? oh my god ...
posted by pyramid termite at 6:22 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by pyramid termite at 6:22 AM on September 14, 2008
There were far better ways to give a negative response to the question without resorting to vulgar and insulting indictments of the poster and his gender. It's more grandstanding soap-boxery than a constructive answer.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:33 AM on September 14, 2008 [4 favorites]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:33 AM on September 14, 2008 [4 favorites]
Aw. That is a little vulgar. This is hadjiboy who's asking for advice, people, not some scuzzball. MeFi's own hadjiboy. And I like wfgmgssms (not sure I got that right) and don't mind vulgarity in general, but ...this is hadjiboy! Have you seen the posts he's made? He's a sensitive guy.
Not everyone follows hadjiboy's trials and tribulations. And I think it's a mistake to treat him differently than everyone else, especially since it probably encourages comments like this one, which should be deleted because it's noise and it's already causing confusion.
posted by amro at 6:35 AM on September 14, 2008
Not everyone follows hadjiboy's trials and tribulations. And I think it's a mistake to treat him differently than everyone else, especially since it probably encourages comments like this one, which should be deleted because it's noise and it's already causing confusion.
posted by amro at 6:35 AM on September 14, 2008
Not everyone follows hadjiboy's trials and tribulations.
true, but wfgmgssms has been around long enough to hopefully realise that he's not dealing with some crass wanker.
And I think it's a mistake to treat him differently than everyone else,
also true. i think that the advice is filtered somewhat.
especially since it probably encourages comments like this one, which should be deleted because it's noise and it's already causing confusion.
no confusion that i can see, although i admit to being confused myself.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:56 AM on September 14, 2008
true, but wfgmgssms has been around long enough to hopefully realise that he's not dealing with some crass wanker.
And I think it's a mistake to treat him differently than everyone else,
also true. i think that the advice is filtered somewhat.
especially since it probably encourages comments like this one, which should be deleted because it's noise and it's already causing confusion.
no confusion that i can see, although i admit to being confused myself.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:56 AM on September 14, 2008
"Yer mah Li'l Debbie Snack Cake" was White Trash Man's mating call inThe Field Guide to North American Males.
My mother refused to have Little Debbie, Hostess, Entenmanns and the like in the house, so of course I craved them as a kid. My 40-year-old taste buds now think they are plastic in cake form.
posted by brujita at 7:12 AM on September 14, 2008
My mother refused to have Little Debbie, Hostess, Entenmanns and the like in the house, so of course I craved them as a kid. My 40-year-old taste buds now think they are plastic in cake form.
posted by brujita at 7:12 AM on September 14, 2008
The best were the Swiss rolls.
Fudge Rounds, you fool!
posted by jonmc at 7:25 AM on September 14, 2008 [4 favorites]
Fudge Rounds, you fool!
posted by jonmc at 7:25 AM on September 14, 2008 [4 favorites]
Little Debbie, Little Debbie, I'm a-comin' on home, baby!
posted by Eideteker at 7:36 AM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Eideteker at 7:36 AM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
I wanted to post this here and ask you guys what you thought of using slang in a thread where there was no cause to
hadjiboy, the problem with this is you're framing "using slang" as something that's somehow invite only or that isn't done in any but special circumstances, and that's not a realistic picture of how people communicate, on askme or elsewhere. AskMe is not a formal dinner; people are going to talk in whatever way they find comfortable.
As far as the substance of wfrgms' comment, it struck me, once I saw it via this thread (it hadn't been flagged by anyone prior to that last night, apparently) as a legit if boorish response to your situation. I don't particularly agree with him, and his presentation is a little obnoxious, but if you're trying to head check a relationship situation, you're going to get a wide variety of opinions from folks with very different outlooks on dating and friendship and relationships. You've used the site enough that you should realistically know this, which is why this as what appeared to be a callout struck a lot of people as being a little weird.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:41 AM on September 14, 2008
hadjiboy, the problem with this is you're framing "using slang" as something that's somehow invite only or that isn't done in any but special circumstances, and that's not a realistic picture of how people communicate, on askme or elsewhere. AskMe is not a formal dinner; people are going to talk in whatever way they find comfortable.
As far as the substance of wfrgms' comment, it struck me, once I saw it via this thread (it hadn't been flagged by anyone prior to that last night, apparently) as a legit if boorish response to your situation. I don't particularly agree with him, and his presentation is a little obnoxious, but if you're trying to head check a relationship situation, you're going to get a wide variety of opinions from folks with very different outlooks on dating and friendship and relationships. You've used the site enough that you should realistically know this, which is why this as what appeared to be a callout struck a lot of people as being a little weird.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:41 AM on September 14, 2008
"Say, you don't think there's any way I could get that quarter from underneath your, uh, pointy boot, do ya? All I want is just one more oatmeal pie..."
More to the point, wfgmgssms' answer was exactly the correct answer to the question, unfortunately written under the impression that this was Maxim and not MeFi, but it's still the right answer.
I've been there, Hadjiboy, and it sucks, but the sooner you take this advice to heart, (a) the sooner you'll move onto something more positive and (b) the less chance there is of you irrevocably damaging your friendship with this woman.
Sorry.
Anyway, can we get to the real questoin herre: what are we going to do about member names that you can't even type without constant, irritating consultation back to the source? That's right. I find wfgmgssms' user name to be far more troublesome than anything in the offending comment.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:49 AM on September 14, 2008
More to the point, wfgmgssms' answer was exactly the correct answer to the question, unfortunately written under the impression that this was Maxim and not MeFi, but it's still the right answer.
I've been there, Hadjiboy, and it sucks, but the sooner you take this advice to heart, (a) the sooner you'll move onto something more positive and (b) the less chance there is of you irrevocably damaging your friendship with this woman.
Sorry.
Anyway, can we get to the real questoin herre: what are we going to do about member names that you can't even type without constant, irritating consultation back to the source? That's right. I find wfgmgssms' user name to be far more troublesome than anything in the offending comment.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:49 AM on September 14, 2008
Sorry. wfrgms. That's what I get for assuming UbuRoivas had it right.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:50 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by Navelgazer at 7:50 AM on September 14, 2008
MetaFilter: a legit if boorish response to your situation
posted by neroli at 7:52 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by neroli at 7:52 AM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
I don't think Little Debbie would use slang like that.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:02 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:02 AM on September 14, 2008
And yes, Ubu, Tim Tams totally rule. Tim Tams alone are worth the ticket to Australia.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:06 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:06 AM on September 14, 2008
I was just disappointed that this thread took so long to get Southern Culture on the Skids.
posted by klangklangston at 8:13 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by klangklangston at 8:13 AM on September 14, 2008
*passes klang some banana puddin'*
sorry, we were out on a Dirt Track Date...
"It don't matter if your pants are shiny, if your dick is big or your dick is tiny..."
posted by jonmc at 8:16 AM on September 14, 2008
sorry, we were out on a Dirt Track Date...
"It don't matter if your pants are shiny, if your dick is big or your dick is tiny..."
posted by jonmc at 8:16 AM on September 14, 2008
What? No love yet for Little Debbie's Zebra Cakes?
A guilty pleasure from my Texas youth!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 8:19 AM on September 14, 2008
A guilty pleasure from my Texas youth!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 8:19 AM on September 14, 2008
Tim Tams alone are worth the ticket to Australia.
you forgot huntsmen.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:20 AM on September 14, 2008
you forgot huntsmen.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:20 AM on September 14, 2008
Also: "Little Debbie's Snake Cakes" is a great name for a song.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 8:21 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 8:21 AM on September 14, 2008
MF Doom has on occasion referred to women metaphorically as "Little Debbie Snack Cakes".
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 8:26 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 8:26 AM on September 14, 2008
The comment bugged me because it was gender specific. Both men and women pine fruitlessly for men, women, and Cosmic Brownies.
It's pretty difficult to get ten of the first two for a couple bucks, though...
posted by gnomeloaf at 9:40 AM on September 14, 2008
It's pretty difficult to get ten of the first two for a couple bucks, though...
posted by gnomeloaf at 9:40 AM on September 14, 2008
I was just disappointed that this thread took so long to get Southern Culture on the Skids.
My bad. I went looking for vids on youtube and got distracted. Lost in Mary Huff's beehive, I guess.
posted by Eideteker at 9:42 AM on September 14, 2008
My bad. I went looking for vids on youtube and got distracted. Lost in Mary Huff's beehive, I guess.
posted by Eideteker at 9:42 AM on September 14, 2008
I was confused by the "Snake Cake" line myself. I had it all reversed and offered my wife a cream filled little debbie snake cake for breakfast.
posted by Megafly at 9:48 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by Megafly at 9:48 AM on September 14, 2008
Y'all are missing the point. TWINKIES
What is all this Little Debbie nonsense? Tastykakes.
posted by Pax at 9:49 AM on September 14, 2008
What is all this Little Debbie nonsense? Tastykakes.
posted by Pax at 9:49 AM on September 14, 2008
I agree. He was totally inappropriate and irresponsible to not mention Chocodiles in his answer.
posted by Busithoth at 10:03 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by Busithoth at 10:03 AM on September 14, 2008
The Tim Tam Slam is so far in front of any conceivable American snack enjoyment technology that arguing about the runner-up is utterly pointless.
There's actually a moderately long and cited Wikipedia article for Tim Tam Slam, as well as youtube how to videos. I was unaware of Australia's rich snacking tradition, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 10:24 AM on September 14, 2008
There's actually a moderately long and cited Wikipedia article for Tim Tam Slam, as well as youtube how to videos. I was unaware of Australia's rich snacking tradition, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 10:24 AM on September 14, 2008
People make booty calls for snack cakes?
I once enticed someone for a booty call with banana bread. Mind you, it was homemade banana bread. Homemade by me. Way superior to a snack cake.
Also, no mention of Snoballs yet? The most suggestively named of all the mass-produced plastic wrapped confections? Oh man, I loved those as a kid, and thinking about them now just makes my mouth itch from all of the SUGAR.
Heh. I said balls.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:52 AM on September 14, 2008
I once enticed someone for a booty call with banana bread. Mind you, it was homemade banana bread. Homemade by me. Way superior to a snack cake.
Also, no mention of Snoballs yet? The most suggestively named of all the mass-produced plastic wrapped confections? Oh man, I loved those as a kid, and thinking about them now just makes my mouth itch from all of the SUGAR.
Heh. I said balls.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:52 AM on September 14, 2008
"bumping uglies?"
"hit us off with a booty call??"
That comment reads like it was written by Poochie the Rockin' Dog. Maybe he needs to rasta-fy his Little Debbie Snake Cakes by about 25%...
TO THE EXTREME!!
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:27 AM on September 14, 2008
"hit us off with a booty call??"
That comment reads like it was written by Poochie the Rockin' Dog. Maybe he needs to rasta-fy his Little Debbie Snake Cakes by about 25%...
TO THE EXTREME!!
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:27 AM on September 14, 2008
interesting note: font size tag works in preview but shows up normal
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:27 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:27 AM on September 14, 2008
Hadjiboy, people reading or answering the thread are angry at men whom they perceive as falsifying friendships with women in order to get into their pants. I think that anger is totally justified, and thus that this answer is totally justified.
posted by decathecting at 11:34 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by decathecting at 11:34 AM on September 14, 2008
What is all this Little Debbie nonsense? Tastykakes.
QFT! (Quoted For Tastiness)
posted by jrossi4r at 11:35 AM on September 14, 2008
QFT! (Quoted For Tastiness)
posted by jrossi4r at 11:35 AM on September 14, 2008
Also, Oreo Cakesters (and their sister snack cake, Nilla Wafer Cakesters) are the greatest new invention of our generation.
posted by decathecting at 11:36 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by decathecting at 11:36 AM on September 14, 2008
This seems like another one of those "some people should be in therapy, not working out their issues with ask.mefi answers" situtations.
posted by rodgerd at 11:37 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by rodgerd at 11:37 AM on September 14, 2008
I think that anger is totally justified, and thus that this answer is totally justified.
So hadjiboy is culpable for the sins of all men everywhere?
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:38 AM on September 14, 2008
So hadjiboy is culpable for the sins of all men everywhere?
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:38 AM on September 14, 2008
Hadjiboy, people reading or answering the thread are angry at men whom they perceive as falsifying friendships with women in order to get into their pants. I think that anger is totally justified, and thus that this answer is totally justified.
I repeat my earlier comment, and add a helping of "applying negative stereotypes to individuals is the basis of all sexism, racism, and similar ugly prejudice."
posted by rodgerd at 11:39 AM on September 14, 2008
I repeat my earlier comment, and add a helping of "applying negative stereotypes to individuals is the basis of all sexism, racism, and similar ugly prejudice."
posted by rodgerd at 11:39 AM on September 14, 2008
Also, Chris Rock on platonic friends (nsfw): "'Cause ya never know!"
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:39 AM on September 14, 2008
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:39 AM on September 14, 2008
Also also, if there's anyone worse than the "i'll pretend to be her friend and one day she'll sleep with me" guy, it's the "I'll call out the behavior of other guys who are just trying to sleep with her to prove how enlightened I am and one day she'll sleep with me" guy.
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:44 AM on September 14, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:44 AM on September 14, 2008 [3 favorites]
Also, no mention of Snoballs yet? The most suggestively named of all the mass-produced plastic wrapped confections? Oh man, I loved those as a kid, and thinking about them now just makes my mouth itch from all of the SUGAR.
Heh. I said balls.
Oddly, however, in the package, they resemble boobies more than testicles. For phallic snack cakes, I'd say Nutty Bars would be the best bet.
posted by jonmc at 11:49 AM on September 14, 2008
Heh. I said balls.
Oddly, however, in the package, they resemble boobies more than testicles. For phallic snack cakes, I'd say Nutty Bars would be the best bet.
posted by jonmc at 11:49 AM on September 14, 2008
I have a strict policy of not commenting in my own callouts, but for the snake of clarification I'll respond here:
- I have indeed read one too many of these types of questions. I believe that it is common guy problem in that it's often hard for men, particularly single men, to just be friends with women. While at the same time I find it amusingly frequent that women, even single ones, seem to have no difficulty with such platonic relationships. Further, these types of questions always follow a formula: We're friends -> I admitted or acted on my feelings -> she turned me down -> how can I still get in her pants?
- Please forgive the veneer of snark and vulgarities that the comment is laced with. I feel that often the underlying motivations which cause men to make these sorts of machinations toward their female friends are very base and often are obviously born out of some "horny single guy" affliction. The snark is there to reflect that, because at the end of the day this question, and others like it, are about guys who want to modify a friendship to include sex. That is to say, it reflects an innate pigish behavior which all guys are guilty of from time to time. If it's an oversimplification in this case, I apologize - but I feel that the reasoning is sound. Sorry to blow our cover, guys...
- None of this is to say that hadjiboy is being crass or thinking with his dick. Or that he is not concerned with building a meaningful, mutually fulfilling relationship... just that all guys do this, and we don't often have the best intentions. We're not bad, ladies... we're just weak - and when you're our friends and you come prancing around in your little strappy tops, or hang around in your low slung jeans, or you fix us dinner, and give us hugs... well, you get the idea.
- My post was made at 11:42am on a Saturday. So, yeah, drunk. Cut me some slack.
- In a way this callout is good, I usually like to get one in before the Chicago meetups. Makes me feel like a big man.
- I like you too, Locative. Do you ever think we could be more than friends?
posted by wfrgms at 11:51 AM on September 14, 2008
- I have indeed read one too many of these types of questions. I believe that it is common guy problem in that it's often hard for men, particularly single men, to just be friends with women. While at the same time I find it amusingly frequent that women, even single ones, seem to have no difficulty with such platonic relationships. Further, these types of questions always follow a formula: We're friends -> I admitted or acted on my feelings -> she turned me down -> how can I still get in her pants?
- Please forgive the veneer of snark and vulgarities that the comment is laced with. I feel that often the underlying motivations which cause men to make these sorts of machinations toward their female friends are very base and often are obviously born out of some "horny single guy" affliction. The snark is there to reflect that, because at the end of the day this question, and others like it, are about guys who want to modify a friendship to include sex. That is to say, it reflects an innate pigish behavior which all guys are guilty of from time to time. If it's an oversimplification in this case, I apologize - but I feel that the reasoning is sound. Sorry to blow our cover, guys...
- None of this is to say that hadjiboy is being crass or thinking with his dick. Or that he is not concerned with building a meaningful, mutually fulfilling relationship... just that all guys do this, and we don't often have the best intentions. We're not bad, ladies... we're just weak - and when you're our friends and you come prancing around in your little strappy tops, or hang around in your low slung jeans, or you fix us dinner, and give us hugs... well, you get the idea.
- My post was made at 11:42am on a Saturday. So, yeah, drunk. Cut me some slack.
- In a way this callout is good, I usually like to get one in before the Chicago meetups. Makes me feel like a big man.
- I like you too, Locative. Do you ever think we could be more than friends?
posted by wfrgms at 11:51 AM on September 14, 2008
As far as the substance of wfrgms' comment, it struck me, once I saw it via this thread (it hadn't been flagged by anyone prior to that last night, apparently) as a legit if boorish response to your situation.
This was my feeling as well. wfrgms, it would be nice if you made more of an effort to reign in your snark next time.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:27 PM on September 14, 2008
This was my feeling as well. wfrgms, it would be nice if you made more of an effort to reign in your snark next time.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:27 PM on September 14, 2008
For the record, I quite enjoy snake cakes. Usually go with a big southwestern pit-viper, like a diamonback. Fried is ok - also delectable in a large pastry, like a pot pie. Commercially available online and very lean.
TRY SNAKE CAKES TODAY.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:29 PM on September 14, 2008
TRY SNAKE CAKES TODAY.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:29 PM on September 14, 2008
I believe that it is common guy problem in that it's often hard for men, particularly single men, to just be friends with women.
Well, that's because a woman who meets all the criteria we look for in a friend: interests in common, easy to hang out with, sense of humor etc, sets in motion this mental thing of "She's really a cool person. Plus she's a girl." Being cool and being female is a lethal combination if you want to attract male admirers.
Being a grownup is accepting that most of the time it won't go to the next level and not throwing the baby of the friendship out with the bathwater of 'what if?'
posted by jonmc at 12:30 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
Well, that's because a woman who meets all the criteria we look for in a friend: interests in common, easy to hang out with, sense of humor etc, sets in motion this mental thing of "She's really a cool person. Plus she's a girl." Being cool and being female is a lethal combination if you want to attract male admirers.
Being a grownup is accepting that most of the time it won't go to the next level and not throwing the baby of the friendship out with the bathwater of 'what if?'
posted by jonmc at 12:30 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
wfrgms, it would be nice if you made more of an effort to reign in your snark next time.
Yes, yes, many things would be nice.
Snark has its place, and overly sensitive Mefis would do well to remember that. As I pointed out above, I feel that sometimes snark can provide clarity. In my case, I don't even know if my comment was that snarky in the traditional sense. Vulgar, crass, obnoxious, sure - but with the precisely the goal of illustrating just how vulgar, crass, and obnoxious it can be for men to press this issue of copulating with their friend-girls.
Besides, how would the mefi mods fill their day if they didn't have snarky comments to delete?
posted by wfrgms at 12:55 PM on September 14, 2008
Yes, yes, many things would be nice.
Snark has its place, and overly sensitive Mefis would do well to remember that. As I pointed out above, I feel that sometimes snark can provide clarity. In my case, I don't even know if my comment was that snarky in the traditional sense. Vulgar, crass, obnoxious, sure - but with the precisely the goal of illustrating just how vulgar, crass, and obnoxious it can be for men to press this issue of copulating with their friend-girls.
Besides, how would the mefi mods fill their day if they didn't have snarky comments to delete?
posted by wfrgms at 12:55 PM on September 14, 2008
Maybe it's a viking thing, but I thought "snake cakes" was deliberate, meant to evoke "trouser snake" or something. Oh well.
posted by dilettante at 12:57 PM on September 14, 2008
posted by dilettante at 12:57 PM on September 14, 2008
This was my feeling as well. wfrgms, it would be nice if you made more of an effort to reign in your snark next time.
Sort of like not putting a sharp knife in the dishpan1; that's nice, and it would also be nice it hadjiboy didn't fucking freak out (the presence of six question marks in two sentences is the basis for that precise choice of words which might overstate the case but I don't care) when someone gave an answer he doesn't like.
1In old days, it was a pan, typically filled with soapy water, that people put their dirty dishes into. Some people would argue vehemently that you should never ever put a sharp knife in the dishpan because someone else might later reach in unawares and cut themselves. Others would argue just as vehemently that you should always reach into the soapy dishwater as if there were a sharp knife in there. If you would like a fun sort of social exercise, count how many times you can spot a trivial variation on this theme simmering nastily and pointlessly through the course of, say, one day's forum-browsing. Fun fun fun.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:07 PM on September 14, 2008 [4 favorites]
Sort of like not putting a sharp knife in the dishpan1; that's nice, and it would also be nice it hadjiboy didn't fucking freak out (the presence of six question marks in two sentences is the basis for that precise choice of words which might overstate the case but I don't care) when someone gave an answer he doesn't like.
1In old days, it was a pan, typically filled with soapy water, that people put their dirty dishes into. Some people would argue vehemently that you should never ever put a sharp knife in the dishpan because someone else might later reach in unawares and cut themselves. Others would argue just as vehemently that you should always reach into the soapy dishwater as if there were a sharp knife in there. If you would like a fun sort of social exercise, count how many times you can spot a trivial variation on this theme simmering nastily and pointlessly through the course of, say, one day's forum-browsing. Fun fun fun.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:07 PM on September 14, 2008 [4 favorites]
all guys do this, and we don't often have the best intentions. We're not bad, ladies... we're just weak - and when you're our friends and you come prancing around in your little strappy tops, or hang around in your low slung jeans, or you fix us dinner, and give us hugs... well, you get the idea.
Yeah, you speak for me like Sarah Palin speaks for all women.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:11 PM on September 14, 2008 [3 favorites]
Yeah, you speak for me like Sarah Palin speaks for all women.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:11 PM on September 14, 2008 [3 favorites]
Maybe it's a viking thing, but I thought "snake cakes" was deliberate
Once I went to a block party featuring a pig roast. I got to talking to the two guys who were doing the roasting and they said they had cooked just about every animal you could imagine. They said that rattlesnake was especially tasty. Maybe they could make 'snake cakes,' like crab cakes.
Just a thought.
posted by jonmc at 1:15 PM on September 14, 2008
Once I went to a block party featuring a pig roast. I got to talking to the two guys who were doing the roasting and they said they had cooked just about every animal you could imagine. They said that rattlesnake was especially tasty. Maybe they could make 'snake cakes,' like crab cakes.
Just a thought.
posted by jonmc at 1:15 PM on September 14, 2008
Snark has its place, and overly sensitive Mefis would do well to remember that. As I pointed out above, I feel that sometimes snark can provide clarity.
Maybe I should be clearer.
Snarking in a way that seems borderline-gleeful in an AskMe thread that is otherwise serious, especially when you're treading the line of insulting the OP is, generally speaking, something that isn't okay. The judgment call that cortex and I made this time -- that the response had more value than assholery -- may not go your way in the future. I'm sure you don't care terribly much, but since this MeTa thread is for future reference as well as for the current issue, I figured it might be worth mentioning it.
Besides, how would the mefi mods fill their day if they didn't have snarky comments to delete?
I could work on several wonderful personal improvement projects instead of restating the obvious to people who I'm fairly certain know better.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:22 PM on September 14, 2008 [3 favorites]
Maybe I should be clearer.
Snarking in a way that seems borderline-gleeful in an AskMe thread that is otherwise serious, especially when you're treading the line of insulting the OP is, generally speaking, something that isn't okay. The judgment call that cortex and I made this time -- that the response had more value than assholery -- may not go your way in the future. I'm sure you don't care terribly much, but since this MeTa thread is for future reference as well as for the current issue, I figured it might be worth mentioning it.
Besides, how would the mefi mods fill their day if they didn't have snarky comments to delete?
I could work on several wonderful personal improvement projects instead of restating the obvious to people who I'm fairly certain know better.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:22 PM on September 14, 2008 [3 favorites]
Yes to Tastykakes. There is a reason they have limited distribution, you know.
posted by fixedgear at 1:22 PM on September 14, 2008
posted by fixedgear at 1:22 PM on September 14, 2008
Besides, how would the mefi mods fill their day if they didn't have snarky comments to delete?
I could work on several wonderful personal improvement projects instead of restating the obvious to people who I'm fairly certain know better.
Please. We know you'd actually be sipping absinthe martinis from your Mefi-etched martini glasses while sitting in the evian filled hot tub wearing velvet smoking jackets and being caterered to by robotic koala butlers.
posted by jonmc at 1:30 PM on September 14, 2008
I could work on several wonderful personal improvement projects instead of restating the obvious to people who I'm fairly certain know better.
Please. We know you'd actually be sipping absinthe martinis from your Mefi-etched martini glasses while sitting in the evian filled hot tub wearing velvet smoking jackets and being caterered to by robotic koala butlers.
posted by jonmc at 1:30 PM on September 14, 2008
being caterered to by robotic koala butlers
....who bring them platter after silver platter of LITTLE DEBBIE SWISS ROLLS!
posted by scody at 1:44 PM on September 14, 2008
....who bring them platter after silver platter of LITTLE DEBBIE SWISS ROLLS!
posted by scody at 1:44 PM on September 14, 2008
*shoots swiss rolls out of a cannon towards New York*
posted by scody at 2:00 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by scody at 2:00 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
*aims howitzer of Fudge Rounds at LA*
(all of you in the midwest might be hit by sugary shrapnel, but fuck it, war is hell!)
posted by jonmc at 2:11 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
(all of you in the midwest might be hit by sugary shrapnel, but fuck it, war is hell!)
posted by jonmc at 2:11 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
Sorry I spelled your name wrong, wfrgms.
Apologies if I made it sound like I thought hadjiboy deserved special treatment. From his posts he sounds like such an earnest, vulnerable soul.
Also, I had a bunch of cough syrup right before I posted that.
posted by Locative at 2:14 PM on September 14, 2008
Apologies if I made it sound like I thought hadjiboy deserved special treatment. From his posts he sounds like such an earnest, vulnerable soul.
Also, I had a bunch of cough syrup right before I posted that.
posted by Locative at 2:14 PM on September 14, 2008
oh, come on! robotic koala butlers would be bringing the aforementioned tim tams, with hot chocolate for a tim tam slam of supreme chocolaty goodness.
also, i felt that was a classy explanation / apology from wfrgms. full slack is cut, from my point of view at least, though i didn't really have a dog in that fight.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:15 PM on September 14, 2008
also, i felt that was a classy explanation / apology from wfrgms. full slack is cut, from my point of view at least, though i didn't really have a dog in that fight.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:15 PM on September 14, 2008
*shoots swiss rolls out of a cannon towards New York*
*aims howitzer of Fudge Rounds at LA*
FOOD FIGHT!!!
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:17 PM on September 14, 2008
*aims howitzer of Fudge Rounds at LA*
FOOD FIGHT!!!
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:17 PM on September 14, 2008
*Briefly lays down arms snack cakes to take a bite*
*declares DELICIOUS CHOCOLATEY TRUCE*
posted by scody at 2:17 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
*declares DELICIOUS CHOCOLATEY TRUCE*
posted by scody at 2:17 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
Yes, yes, many things would be nice.
Snark has its place, and overly sensitive Mefis would do well to remember that. As I pointed out above, I feel that sometimes snark can provide clarity. In my case, I don't even know if my comment was that snarky in the traditional sense. Vulgar, crass, obnoxious, sure - but with the precisely the goal of illustrating just how vulgar, crass, and obnoxious it can be for men to press this issue of copulating with their friend-girls.
Besides, how would the mefi mods fill their day if they didn't have snarky comments to delete?
Wow, that's even more assholeish than your original comment, and you're presumably not even drunk. If you are drunk, stop posting when drunk. If you're not, you need better social skills, including how to create an apology that actually apologizes.
posted by languagehat at 2:17 PM on September 14, 2008
Snark has its place, and overly sensitive Mefis would do well to remember that. As I pointed out above, I feel that sometimes snark can provide clarity. In my case, I don't even know if my comment was that snarky in the traditional sense. Vulgar, crass, obnoxious, sure - but with the precisely the goal of illustrating just how vulgar, crass, and obnoxious it can be for men to press this issue of copulating with their friend-girls.
Besides, how would the mefi mods fill their day if they didn't have snarky comments to delete?
Wow, that's even more assholeish than your original comment, and you're presumably not even drunk. If you are drunk, stop posting when drunk. If you're not, you need better social skills, including how to create an apology that actually apologizes.
posted by languagehat at 2:17 PM on September 14, 2008
decent enough to hit us off with a booty call every now and then, you know, as a thanks for the friendship
- and when... you come prancing around...well, you get the idea.
...that you think we owe you sex and start getting resentful?
Sorry to blow our cover, guys.
We're not bad, ladies... we're just weak
Worst of the boyzone.
Yeah, you speak for me like Sarah Palin speaks for all women.
Thanks, Alvy.
posted by salvia at 2:25 PM on September 14, 2008
- and when... you come prancing around...well, you get the idea.
...that you think we owe you sex and start getting resentful?
Sorry to blow our cover, guys.
We're not bad, ladies... we're just weak
Worst of the boyzone.
Yeah, you speak for me like Sarah Palin speaks for all women.
Thanks, Alvy.
posted by salvia at 2:25 PM on September 14, 2008
Worst of the boyzone.
Oh, come on. In case you missed it, the whole kerfuffle here was about a regrettably worded sentiment that guys should hold back from trying to get into their female friends' pants, when the women have indicated that they're not up for it. How that gets turned 180 degrees to become the "worst of the boyzone" I'll never know.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:42 PM on September 14, 2008
Oh, come on. In case you missed it, the whole kerfuffle here was about a regrettably worded sentiment that guys should hold back from trying to get into their female friends' pants, when the women have indicated that they're not up for it. How that gets turned 180 degrees to become the "worst of the boyzone" I'll never know.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:42 PM on September 14, 2008
Aw. That is a little vulgar. This is hadjiboy who's asking for advice, people, not some scuzzball. MeFi's own hadjiboy.
Hadjiboy is a big boy and he is well aware where he is. He doesn't need coddling.
Hadjiboy, you know I like you, but what you are doing here isn't fair. You've made a conscious choice to hang out here online with a primarily liberal, casual, western, American gang, and that has all kinds of benefits for you. You can get honest and open discussion about relationships and love and sex from a liberated western perspective.
What exactly is your beef, that he used slang? Your English is excellent, and you know how to use the Internet when a term comes along you aren't familiar with. But it seems more you are flustered that he mentioned sex in a casual way. That's what a lot of westerners are like.
Assume there is a knife in the soapy water!
posted by Meatbomb at 2:48 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
Hadjiboy is a big boy and he is well aware where he is. He doesn't need coddling.
Hadjiboy, you know I like you, but what you are doing here isn't fair. You've made a conscious choice to hang out here online with a primarily liberal, casual, western, American gang, and that has all kinds of benefits for you. You can get honest and open discussion about relationships and love and sex from a liberated western perspective.
What exactly is your beef, that he used slang? Your English is excellent, and you know how to use the Internet when a term comes along you aren't familiar with. But it seems more you are flustered that he mentioned sex in a casual way. That's what a lot of westerners are like.
Assume there is a knife in the soapy water!
posted by Meatbomb at 2:48 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
MetaFilter: Snark Cakes!
"I have a strict policy of not commenting in my own callouts"
I aspire to get called out enough to have policies regarding them.
This thread reminds me of the advertising campaigns we were coming up with on #bunnies last night for Diet Nam™.
Diet Nam: You weren't there!
Diet Nam: You are entering a world of taste.
Diet Nam: How can you kill women and children's thirst? Easy, you don't lead 'em as much.
Diet Nam: My buddies didn't die face down in the muck just so you could drink some crappy other cola.
Diet Nam: Only one cal—
MARK IT ZERO!
Okay, okay, man. Zero calories.
Diet Nam: I love the smell of aspartame in the morning.
Diet Nam: The Domino Sugar Theory
Diet Nam: Bullshit! I bet you could suck an entire can through a garden hose!
Diet Nam: The Diet Offensive1
Diet Nam: Me so thirsty. Me quaff you long time.
Diet Nam: The horror. The horror.
posted by Eideteker at 3:00 PM on September 14, 2008
"I have a strict policy of not commenting in my own callouts"
I aspire to get called out enough to have policies regarding them.
This thread reminds me of the advertising campaigns we were coming up with on #bunnies last night for Diet Nam™.
Diet Nam: You weren't there!
Diet Nam: You are entering a world of taste.
Diet Nam: How can you kill women and children's thirst? Easy, you don't lead 'em as much.
Diet Nam: My buddies didn't die face down in the muck just so you could drink some crappy other cola.
Diet Nam: Only one cal—
MARK IT ZERO!
Okay, okay, man. Zero calories.
Diet Nam: I love the smell of aspartame in the morning.
Diet Nam: The Domino Sugar Theory
Diet Nam: Bullshit! I bet you could suck an entire can through a garden hose!
Diet Nam: The Diet Offensive1
Diet Nam: Me so thirsty. Me quaff you long time.
Diet Nam: The horror. The horror.
posted by Eideteker at 3:00 PM on September 14, 2008
I either love or hate that comment, depending on the eventual weight of public opinion.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:18 PM on September 14, 2008
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:18 PM on September 14, 2008
You've made a conscious choice to hang out here online with a primarily liberal, casual, western, American gang, and that has all kinds of benefits for you. What exactly is your beef, that he used slang? Your English is excellent, and you know how to use the Internet when a term comes along you aren't familiar with. But it seems more you are flustered that he mentioned sex in a casual way. That's what a lot of westerners are like.
AskMe has higher standards for discourse than the other sites and people other than the OP felt that the response's tone was inappropriate, so that condescending argument is more than a little off the mark.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:19 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
AskMe has higher standards for discourse than the other sites and people other than the OP felt that the response's tone was inappropriate, so that condescending argument is more than a little off the mark.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:19 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
UbuRoivas, I don't see how you don't see it. I do see that the original quote could be interpreted that way (though I do think wfrgms brought in something that wasn't there originally, which seems to be why hadjiboy brought this to MetaTalk).
I was ready to let it go, but then I got more disturbed when wfrgms came back defending the basic ideas -- "but we all do think this way deep down, amirite guys?" and "no, but seriously, ladies, when you're prancing around..." Even by themselves, the "us guys" and "you ladies" constructions give me middle school flashbacks, and when those are combined with the original ideas, it doesn't work for me.
But hey, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm getting unnecessarily bothered by the slang (which he apologized for), or maybe there are just one too many levels of irony for my mind to follow. I'm open to those arguments, though I don't buy them yet.
posted by salvia at 3:36 PM on September 14, 2008
I was ready to let it go, but then I got more disturbed when wfrgms came back defending the basic ideas -- "but we all do think this way deep down, amirite guys?" and "no, but seriously, ladies, when you're prancing around..." Even by themselves, the "us guys" and "you ladies" constructions give me middle school flashbacks, and when those are combined with the original ideas, it doesn't work for me.
But hey, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm getting unnecessarily bothered by the slang (which he apologized for), or maybe there are just one too many levels of irony for my mind to follow. I'm open to those arguments, though I don't buy them yet.
posted by salvia at 3:36 PM on September 14, 2008
Straw poll? Hardly.
You're the one proscribing up the Asker's objections to being flustered by the sexual openness of an allegedly more enlightened Western culture.
I'm pointing out that there were several folks who, despite being "primarily liberal, casual, western, Americans" also felt that the comment wasn't appropriate, and not because it inspired a group case of the vapours. And yeah, your implication that hadjiboy gets "all kinds of benefits" and therefore should get over whatever hangups of beefs that may arise from such an environment is patronizing bullshit.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:40 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
You're the one proscribing up the Asker's objections to being flustered by the sexual openness of an allegedly more enlightened Western culture.
I'm pointing out that there were several folks who, despite being "primarily liberal, casual, western, Americans" also felt that the comment wasn't appropriate, and not because it inspired a group case of the vapours. And yeah, your implication that hadjiboy gets "all kinds of benefits" and therefore should get over whatever hangups of beefs that may arise from such an environment is patronizing bullshit.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:40 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
... hangups or beefs, rather...
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:42 PM on September 14, 2008
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:42 PM on September 14, 2008
I'll leave it to hadjiboy to take what he will from my comments, I don't see a lot of benefit coming to anyone from continuing an argument with you Alvy.
posted by Meatbomb at 4:19 PM on September 14, 2008
posted by Meatbomb at 4:19 PM on September 14, 2008
Why, did you take a straw poll?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:28 PM on September 14, 2008
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:28 PM on September 14, 2008
salvia, if i look past the less-than-ideal wording, i think the base-level point is just calling a spade a spade: that it's human nature to sometimes develop feelings for fanciable friends.
that, and the idea that if those feelings aren't reciprocated, then we should back off.
"help! i'm crushing on my friend" is indeed one of the more common kinds of relationshipfilter questions, from both guys & girls, straight or gay.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:40 PM on September 14, 2008
that, and the idea that if those feelings aren't reciprocated, then we should back off.
"help! i'm crushing on my friend" is indeed one of the more common kinds of relationshipfilter questions, from both guys & girls, straight or gay.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:40 PM on September 14, 2008
Tim Tam > straw. No need for a poll.
posted by flabdablet at 5:08 PM on September 14, 2008
posted by flabdablet at 5:08 PM on September 14, 2008
hey, strawmen have a right to have their voices heard, too!
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:42 PM on September 14, 2008
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:42 PM on September 14, 2008
Personally, wfgrms' answer expressed pretty much exactly what I was thinking while reading the question, and if it hadn't been there I might have tried to say the same thing - or I might have thought 'the OP's obviously not going to listen to any negatives here, no point talking to him'. The stereotype referred to may not apply to all guys, but it seems pretty clearly to apply to hadjiboy here - she just wants to be friends, he thinks he can convince her otherwise. A thread that said 'yea, keep pushing her, she'll give in eventually!' would have given me a much worse 'boyzone' impression.
And on top of that, saying that the 'slang' is what bothered you is disingenuous. I don't believe that you would have complained if somebody said 'yea man, thumbs up from me, just hang in there and you'll get your chance to drop trou and bump uglies with this chick some day! Chicks like that are just shy, she needs someone man enough to convince her to go for it.'
posted by jacalata at 6:28 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
And on top of that, saying that the 'slang' is what bothered you is disingenuous. I don't believe that you would have complained if somebody said 'yea man, thumbs up from me, just hang in there and you'll get your chance to drop trou and bump uglies with this chick some day! Chicks like that are just shy, she needs someone man enough to convince her to go for it.'
posted by jacalata at 6:28 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
Strawman goes over to Little Debbie's house, brings her a box of Tim Tams and a snake cake. Says he wants to be more than friends, and could she possibly favor him with a mount or a booty call? Little Debbie says "get back to your boyzone, huntsman, I've got homemade banana bread, and a knife in the soapy water."
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:30 PM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:30 PM on September 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
Hmm. See, this is a terrifying conundrum. I can't decide whether I should try to make a Roman Polanski joke or a Deep Purple joke.
I guess the Deep Purple joke would be the more obvious one.
But I can't for the life of me figure out how you'd go about making a Roman Polanski joke.
Urm... pedophile?
posted by koeselitz at 8:59 PM on September 14, 2008
I guess the Deep Purple joke would be the more obvious one.
But I can't for the life of me figure out how you'd go about making a Roman Polanski joke.
Urm... pedophile?
posted by koeselitz at 8:59 PM on September 14, 2008
salvia, if i look past the less-than-ideal wording, i think the base-level point is just calling a spade a spade: it's human nature to sometimes develop feelings for fanciable friends.
Yeah, that part wasn't a problem for me. I'm not really interested in getting in a big debate, but to explain, here's the part that bothered me. wfrgms' statements are: "it [the snark, eg, the claim that if women were decent they'd "hit off" their guy friends as thanks] reflects an innate pigish behavior which all guys are guilty of from time to time;" "Sorry to blow our cover, guys..."; "We're not bad, ladies... we're just weak, and when...you come prancing around in your little strappy tops..."
It seems to me that those statements, if I'm reading them right, a) align him with the real assholes out there who do truly believe females owe them something, b) imply that all men on metafilter feel similarly, and c) place responsibility for this on what the women choose to do (since the men are unable to think otherwise). All that just seems textbook not good to me.
But I realize that wfrgms' main point was just to jokingly suggest hadjiboy should give some space to his friend, so maybe I'm combining jokey things with serious things in some way that doesn't reflect what he really thinks.
posted by salvia at 9:16 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
Yeah, that part wasn't a problem for me. I'm not really interested in getting in a big debate, but to explain, here's the part that bothered me. wfrgms' statements are: "it [the snark, eg, the claim that if women were decent they'd "hit off" their guy friends as thanks] reflects an innate pigish behavior which all guys are guilty of from time to time;" "Sorry to blow our cover, guys..."; "We're not bad, ladies... we're just weak, and when...you come prancing around in your little strappy tops..."
It seems to me that those statements, if I'm reading them right, a) align him with the real assholes out there who do truly believe females owe them something, b) imply that all men on metafilter feel similarly, and c) place responsibility for this on what the women choose to do (since the men are unable to think otherwise). All that just seems textbook not good to me.
But I realize that wfrgms' main point was just to jokingly suggest hadjiboy should give some space to his friend, so maybe I'm combining jokey things with serious things in some way that doesn't reflect what he really thinks.
posted by salvia at 9:16 PM on September 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: Soapy water with a knife in it.
posted by Tomorrowful at 9:16 PM on September 14, 2008
posted by Tomorrowful at 9:16 PM on September 14, 2008
salvia, i think we're actually in agreement, which is good because i wasn't in much of a mood for a debate either.
i got that same sense of squickyness about the undertone, which skates awfully close to some sort of blame-the-victim mentality. it also stereotypes guys, and does a bit of a wink towards a boys-will-be-boys mentality.
when i had a bit of a bee in my bonnet at the beginning of this year over sexist stereotypes about guys, i would've called out that kind of anti-masculist "men are just pigs who think with their dicks, amirite?" sentiment, but i'm a bit over that for now.
i might also be a little sympathetic to the comment because in recent years i've been through a few of those sorts of inappropriate infatuations with friends or acquaintances; the kinds that just refuse to go away no matter how hard i want to be rid of them, until the only thing i can do is simply walk away from the friendship, or go to lengths to avoid contact with the cute acquaintances. it really is quite sucky, coz it's not something i ever wanted to have to put myself or the girls through in the first place, so using "innate piggishness" as a scapegoat has a ring of truth to it, at least for me.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:32 PM on September 14, 2008
i got that same sense of squickyness about the undertone, which skates awfully close to some sort of blame-the-victim mentality. it also stereotypes guys, and does a bit of a wink towards a boys-will-be-boys mentality.
when i had a bit of a bee in my bonnet at the beginning of this year over sexist stereotypes about guys, i would've called out that kind of anti-masculist "men are just pigs who think with their dicks, amirite?" sentiment, but i'm a bit over that for now.
i might also be a little sympathetic to the comment because in recent years i've been through a few of those sorts of inappropriate infatuations with friends or acquaintances; the kinds that just refuse to go away no matter how hard i want to be rid of them, until the only thing i can do is simply walk away from the friendship, or go to lengths to avoid contact with the cute acquaintances. it really is quite sucky, coz it's not something i ever wanted to have to put myself or the girls through in the first place, so using "innate piggishness" as a scapegoat has a ring of truth to it, at least for me.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:32 PM on September 14, 2008
Where did I ever say that the reason why I wanted to be more than friends was for "sex", or getting a booty call/bumping uglies/mounting her? Is that all there is to a relationship that you want to further with a woman that you love... if that's what your description of taking a relationship forward is, then I'm sorry, but I guess I should have specified what the hell I was talking about. (How about holding her hand, kissing her on the cheek when you see her for the first time after waiting for her for half an hour outside a crowded mall. Or how about giving her a call first thing in the morning to know what her morning voice sounds like...? Or maybe putting your hand around her shoulder to let her know that you'll always be there for her--all things which I've dreamt about--along with, yes, even making love to her. I'm sorry--I'm human, but to say that my only objective is to try and Get Into Her Pants is offensive, not just to me, but to my friend as well, and I didn't much appreciate that.)
And yes, as it's been stated--AskMe usually has to live up to a higher standard than the other subsites on Mefi, which is why I didn't want to sweep this under the rug.
The problem here wasn't the slang that was being used (I'm not sure how I would've reacted to it if it were in any other situation) but to throw it in with an attempt at answering my question, which was concerned about "feelings" rather than pure animal lust, wasn't fair. I would've spelt all of this out before if I'd thought that it would've been so hard to grasp. I think the only person who seems to have understood what I'm talking about here is salvia. No offense wfrgms, but the message I got from your post to me in the AskMe thread was that of a stereotypical jack ass who has nothing else on his mind other than sex. Sure, we have loads of them around, but let's not be too hasty to paint every single guy on this board with the same brush, huh?
Lastly, Wolfdog, the purpose of my posting three question marks at the end of the sentences that you've mentioned was not to "freak out" but rather to bring attention to the fact that it was something that I was concerned about and was trying to get that across. I don't know how most of you view my English (I think it's decent enough) but I could never write like a lot of the people on this board. The simple reason being that I wasn't ever raised to express myself or my feelings, so sometimes I have to take the help of an extra punctuation mark. Sorry if that spoils your day.
And Ubu, c'mon man, that's not cool. Just because I get a lot from this site (and you'll never know how much this site has helped me in the past few months)--I shouldn't feel that I have the right to expect that my concerns or queries get addressed? Seriously.
posted by hadjiboy at 10:46 PM on September 14, 2008
And yes, as it's been stated--AskMe usually has to live up to a higher standard than the other subsites on Mefi, which is why I didn't want to sweep this under the rug.
The problem here wasn't the slang that was being used (I'm not sure how I would've reacted to it if it were in any other situation) but to throw it in with an attempt at answering my question, which was concerned about "feelings" rather than pure animal lust, wasn't fair. I would've spelt all of this out before if I'd thought that it would've been so hard to grasp. I think the only person who seems to have understood what I'm talking about here is salvia. No offense wfrgms, but the message I got from your post to me in the AskMe thread was that of a stereotypical jack ass who has nothing else on his mind other than sex. Sure, we have loads of them around, but let's not be too hasty to paint every single guy on this board with the same brush, huh?
Lastly, Wolfdog, the purpose of my posting three question marks at the end of the sentences that you've mentioned was not to "freak out" but rather to bring attention to the fact that it was something that I was concerned about and was trying to get that across. I don't know how most of you view my English (I think it's decent enough) but I could never write like a lot of the people on this board. The simple reason being that I wasn't ever raised to express myself or my feelings, so sometimes I have to take the help of an extra punctuation mark. Sorry if that spoils your day.
And Ubu, c'mon man, that's not cool. Just because I get a lot from this site (and you'll never know how much this site has helped me in the past few months)--I shouldn't feel that I have the right to expect that my concerns or queries get addressed? Seriously.
posted by hadjiboy at 10:46 PM on September 14, 2008
hey, what? was i attacking you an any way? i'm sorry if anything i've written comes across that way.
i just think that wfgrms' comment was open to a favourable interpretation & an unfavourable one, and given his apology & stated drunkenness, he gets the benefit of the doubt from me, that's all. it's your prerogative to be offended, since you're the man in the middle of all this.
you certainly get respect from me for not posting this - or other related questions - anonymously, which suddenly makes me think that people posting under their own (made-up) names should be entitled to a little less slanderous-sounding comments.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:29 PM on September 14, 2008
i just think that wfgrms' comment was open to a favourable interpretation & an unfavourable one, and given his apology & stated drunkenness, he gets the benefit of the doubt from me, that's all. it's your prerogative to be offended, since you're the man in the middle of all this.
you certainly get respect from me for not posting this - or other related questions - anonymously, which suddenly makes me think that people posting under their own (made-up) names should be entitled to a little less slanderous-sounding comments.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:29 PM on September 14, 2008
Where did I ever say that the reason why I wanted to be more than friends was for "sex", or getting a booty call/bumping uglies/mounting her?
I can't speak for the others, but I have a bit of an idiosyncratic take on friendships & relationships, which boils down to something along the lines of "your SO is just the one amongst all your beloved friends who you happen to be in a sexual relationship with", so in my books "getting into the pants of X" is more or less shorthand for "forming a Relationship with X", as the sex is the only thing that does (or should) differentiate friends from lovers.
If that makes things sound like "it's all about sex" then I'm afraid that just reflects the poverty of our ways of describing friendship & love. Even using those terms ("friendship & love") is playing into the dualistic hand of the semantic enemy, as far as I'm concerned. And if it sounds like I'm devaluing romantic relationships until they resemble friends-with-benefits situations, I'd argue that the opposite is true: rather than devaluing romantic relationships, I'm actually bringing platonic relationships up to a similar status (or at least, arguing that this is in fact possible, even desirable).
You might even find that this kind of approach works for you in your situation. Essentially, it removes sexuality from its common position in people's minds as being necessary (in the philosophical sense) for love.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:56 PM on September 14, 2008
I can't speak for the others, but I have a bit of an idiosyncratic take on friendships & relationships, which boils down to something along the lines of "your SO is just the one amongst all your beloved friends who you happen to be in a sexual relationship with", so in my books "getting into the pants of X" is more or less shorthand for "forming a Relationship with X", as the sex is the only thing that does (or should) differentiate friends from lovers.
If that makes things sound like "it's all about sex" then I'm afraid that just reflects the poverty of our ways of describing friendship & love. Even using those terms ("friendship & love") is playing into the dualistic hand of the semantic enemy, as far as I'm concerned. And if it sounds like I'm devaluing romantic relationships until they resemble friends-with-benefits situations, I'd argue that the opposite is true: rather than devaluing romantic relationships, I'm actually bringing platonic relationships up to a similar status (or at least, arguing that this is in fact possible, even desirable).
You might even find that this kind of approach works for you in your situation. Essentially, it removes sexuality from its common position in people's minds as being necessary (in the philosophical sense) for love.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:56 PM on September 14, 2008
people posting under their own (made-up) names should be entitled to a little less slanderous-sounding comments
:)
Nah, I didn't think you were attacking me, but the fact that you thought that I might be attacking you just shows how easy it is to misinterpret people on the web, let alone by typing all of these sexual innuendos that can, or CANNOT be taken in the right spirit...
My bad!
posted by hadjiboy at 1:08 AM on September 15, 2008
:)
Nah, I didn't think you were attacking me, but the fact that you thought that I might be attacking you just shows how easy it is to misinterpret people on the web, let alone by typing all of these sexual innuendos that can, or CANNOT be taken in the right spirit...
My bad!
posted by hadjiboy at 1:08 AM on September 15, 2008
well, i do think it's quite brave, not posting anonymously. despite my love of blathering on with questionable advice in relationshipfilter threads*, i'd be very reluctant to have my personal stuff analysed from every angle by the hive mind even anonymously; posting under my own name would be more horrific still.
* i sometimes think of it as a kind of talking cure, or maybe a kind of 'training' - keeping the interpersonal mind supple & ready for eventualities in all their wonderful & frightening permutations. especially because of all the great analysis & advice from people much wiser than me.
for the most part, though, reading about peoples' troubles just seems to confirm my current desire just to avoid that shit altogether. the more i see of it (here, or in real life; it's all the same) the more i wonder why on earth people bother at all. damn, what did i say about posting my personal shit? oh well, at least i'm not seeking answers from anybody other than myself...
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:05 AM on September 15, 2008
* i sometimes think of it as a kind of talking cure, or maybe a kind of 'training' - keeping the interpersonal mind supple & ready for eventualities in all their wonderful & frightening permutations. especially because of all the great analysis & advice from people much wiser than me.
for the most part, though, reading about peoples' troubles just seems to confirm my current desire just to avoid that shit altogether. the more i see of it (here, or in real life; it's all the same) the more i wonder why on earth people bother at all. damn, what did i say about posting my personal shit? oh well, at least i'm not seeking answers from anybody other than myself...
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:05 AM on September 15, 2008
Tim Tams don't come in boxes. They come in packets. Of eleven.
posted by flabdablet at 3:59 AM on September 15, 2008
posted by flabdablet at 3:59 AM on September 15, 2008
ah, good. now, we're back to the important stuff.
how to successfully do a Tim Tam slam.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:51 AM on September 15, 2008
how to successfully do a Tim Tam slam.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:51 AM on September 15, 2008
(although, sucking chai through a jalebi is an acceptable alternative, for those lucky enough to have access to fresh jalebis, straight from a wok full of delicious hot syrup...)
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:57 AM on September 15, 2008
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:57 AM on September 15, 2008
Tim Tams don't come in boxes. They come in packets. Of eleven.
Apologies. I know such inaccuracies must be terribly upsetting, what with Tim Tams being, well, an icon of Australian culture and achievement. I feel terrible, and, I must say, ashamed at my shocking ignorance regarding this matter.
Now, you can take those *eleven* Tim Tams... and SHOVE 'EM UP YER AUSSIE ASS!!! YOU GOT THAT??? UP YER AUSSIE ASS!!!
/joke
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:26 AM on September 15, 2008
Apologies. I know such inaccuracies must be terribly upsetting, what with Tim Tams being, well, an icon of Australian culture and achievement. I feel terrible, and, I must say, ashamed at my shocking ignorance regarding this matter.
Now, you can take those *eleven* Tim Tams... and SHOVE 'EM UP YER AUSSIE ASS!!! YOU GOT THAT??? UP YER AUSSIE ASS!!!
/joke
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:26 AM on September 15, 2008
So, yeah, drunk. Cut me some slack.
Be happy to. As soon as you admit you said something wrong that needs said cutting of the slack.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 5:44 AM on September 15, 2008
Be happy to. As soon as you admit you said something wrong that needs said cutting of the slack.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 5:44 AM on September 15, 2008
felch
I figured there'd be a word for it.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:49 AM on September 15, 2008
I figured there'd be a word for it.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:49 AM on September 15, 2008
I am here to report that Midwesterners have finished snarfing up the shrapnel remains of the BiCoastal Debbie War. We are fatter than ever, and encourage a resumption of hostilities, particularly from whichever side was firing fudge rounds.
posted by Kwine at 7:47 AM on September 15, 2008
posted by Kwine at 7:47 AM on September 15, 2008
I was reading a medieval history book last night and had a bit of a chuckle at one passage.
It's a quoted section of an 'instruction manual' for young women, written by a 13th-century poet. How a proper lady should behave, etc. Most of it is pretty eye-roll-inducing by today's standards. The latter part of this struck me as timely, though, given this thread:
"Women are criticized for the way they look at people, like a sparrowhawk ready to pounce on a swallow. Take care: glances are the messengers of love; men are prompt to deceive themselves by them."
posted by CKmtl at 8:10 AM on September 15, 2008
It's a quoted section of an 'instruction manual' for young women, written by a 13th-century poet. How a proper lady should behave, etc. Most of it is pretty eye-roll-inducing by today's standards. The latter part of this struck me as timely, though, given this thread:
"Women are criticized for the way they look at people, like a sparrowhawk ready to pounce on a swallow. Take care: glances are the messengers of love; men are prompt to deceive themselves by them."
posted by CKmtl at 8:10 AM on September 15, 2008
Deleted FPP about Tim Tam Slams.
FYI: This works very well with Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies too. Too bad they're not year-round!
posted by SpiffyRob at 9:26 AM on September 15, 2008
FYI: This works very well with Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies too. Too bad they're not year-round!
posted by SpiffyRob at 9:26 AM on September 15, 2008
Tim Tams are also the messengers of love.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:41 AM on September 15, 2008
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:41 AM on September 15, 2008
Being introduced to Tim Tams at my sisters wedding (the best man flew in from Australia with two boxes of them, they were the post cake, with coffee dessert at the reception), I do have to agree they are in fact the messengers of love.
posted by mrzarquon at 9:55 AM on September 15, 2008
posted by mrzarquon at 9:55 AM on September 15, 2008
"But I can't for the life of me figure out how you'd go about making a Roman Polanski joke."
What goes into thirteen twice?
"How about holding her hand, kissing her on the cheek when you see her for the first time after waiting for her for half an hour outside a crowded mall. Or how about giving her a call first thing in the morning to know what her morning voice sounds like...? Or maybe putting your hand around her shoulder to let her know that you'll always be there for her--all things which I've dreamt about--along with, yes, even making love to her. I'm sorry--I'm human, but to say that my only objective is to try and Get Into Her Pants is offensive, not just to me, but to my friend as well, and I didn't much appreciate that."
Y'know, I like ya and everything, but Christ, what wilted wussery. There's an idealization here that trends toward the creepy, and bespeaks little experience with what relationships are really like. Carebear episodes, yes. Adult relationships? No. Calling her to hear what her morning voice is like? Dude, no wonder she has no interest in dating you. I'm sorry, but you'd be three dates away from her giggling to her friends while she says, "He actually called them my 'Petals of womanhood.' I mean, eww."
posted by klangklangston at 9:57 AM on September 15, 2008 [3 favorites]
What goes into thirteen twice?
"How about holding her hand, kissing her on the cheek when you see her for the first time after waiting for her for half an hour outside a crowded mall. Or how about giving her a call first thing in the morning to know what her morning voice sounds like...? Or maybe putting your hand around her shoulder to let her know that you'll always be there for her--all things which I've dreamt about--along with, yes, even making love to her. I'm sorry--I'm human, but to say that my only objective is to try and Get Into Her Pants is offensive, not just to me, but to my friend as well, and I didn't much appreciate that."
Y'know, I like ya and everything, but Christ, what wilted wussery. There's an idealization here that trends toward the creepy, and bespeaks little experience with what relationships are really like. Carebear episodes, yes. Adult relationships? No. Calling her to hear what her morning voice is like? Dude, no wonder she has no interest in dating you. I'm sorry, but you'd be three dates away from her giggling to her friends while she says, "He actually called them my 'Petals of womanhood.' I mean, eww."
posted by klangklangston at 9:57 AM on September 15, 2008 [3 favorites]
FYI: This works very well with Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies too.
It works well with actual girl scouts for that matter.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:40 AM on September 15, 2008
It works well with actual girl scouts for that matter.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:40 AM on September 15, 2008
Tim Tams are also the messengers of love.
Hey, the next photo in that set is the Space 3 Gallery. That place & I have a lot of history.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:59 PM on September 15, 2008
Hey, the next photo in that set is the Space 3 Gallery. That place & I have a lot of history.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:59 PM on September 15, 2008
*burp*
*scratches thoughtfully behind left ear*
Hm? Oh, no, not at all.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:33 PM on September 15, 2008
*scratches thoughtfully behind left ear*
Hm? Oh, no, not at all.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:33 PM on September 15, 2008
He actually called them my 'Petals of womanhood.'
There was actually a point of time when I'd consider saying something like that (I know--yuck!) but I'm getting better at not being such a "wuss". Only problem is, I don't want to end up going too much the other way so that I end up saying something like: Yeah--look at the buns on that one!!!
posted by hadjiboy at 8:12 PM on September 15, 2008
There was actually a point of time when I'd consider saying something like that (I know--yuck!) but I'm getting better at not being such a "wuss". Only problem is, I don't want to end up going too much the other way so that I end up saying something like: Yeah--look at the buns on that one!!!
posted by hadjiboy at 8:12 PM on September 15, 2008
hadjiboy, that you consider "Yeah—look at the buns on that one!" to be a representative example of going too much the other way is pretty endearing.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:20 PM on September 15, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:20 PM on September 15, 2008 [1 favorite]
hadjiboy, you're a good sport, and you gotta lotta class. Keep on keepin' on, brother!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:22 PM on September 15, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:22 PM on September 15, 2008 [1 favorite]
I am here to report that Midwesterners have finished snarfing up the shrapnel remains of the BiCoastal Debbie War. We are fatter than ever, and encourage a resumption of hostilities, particularly from whichever side was firing fudge rounds.
*Shoots Tastycarrots at the midwest.* Take that, fatty.
posted by Pax at 8:44 AM on September 16, 2008
*Shoots Tastycarrots at the midwest.* Take that, fatty.
posted by Pax at 8:44 AM on September 16, 2008
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As for the response, well, its just the response of someone who has read too many "I'm her friend, but i really want to be with her" askme's. It is a really painful situation to be in, i've been in it myself, but it is not all that uncommon as you would think. And some people interpret it as being friends with a woman just for the sake of eventually trying to get into her pants (hence the euphamisms for sex). Not implying that the those are your intentions, but that is what some people may read it as.
posted by mrzarquon at 10:34 PM on September 13, 2008