Slybevel's Mea Culpa

November 19, 2008 7:54 AM

Dear Metafilter- I was an ass a while back, over here. It still bugs me.

Every now and then I consider asking a mod to delete it for me, but I know that's not the preferred Metafiltery way of doing things.

So it's just going to keep on bugging me, and I'll have to deal with that. But I'm sorry.

(Fake, especially you, buddy. Sorry man.)

posted by SlyBevel to Etiquette/Policy at 7:54 AM (67 comments total)

I've been feeling pretty hurt about this. You'll have to buy me some beer & pizza before we're cool again.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:55 AM on November 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

You seemed decently apologetic in that thread to me. We all have bad days.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:56 AM on November 19, 2008

And we make up for them by providing food.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:57 AM on November 19, 2008 [11 favorites]

seek therapy
posted by found missing at 8:02 AM on November 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

SlyBevel : I am sorry that I did that. It was a stupid thing to do, and I'd like to geniunely apologize to everyone I've offended here.

I really didn't intend to subject you all to my internal drama. Thanks for trying to help.

You recognized your shortness of temper and seemed pretty contrite in the original thread, I think it was fairly clear that you were frustrated and as jessamyn says, we all have bad days.

I'd chalk it up as a learning experience about what pushes your buttons and let it go.

Now! Hugs all around!
posted by quin at 8:08 AM on November 19, 2008

When you're answering an askme and the user gets kind of crazy it seems completely ridiculous. Yet when you're the asker and it seems like you're getting a string of people not reading/not answering the question it can be incredibly frustrating and get out of hand. I bet a lot of people here understand, and you've been apologetic - I wouldn't let it worry you.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 8:10 AM on November 19, 2008 [3 favorites]

I didn't think you were that big of an ass. Not like that Astro Zombie guy. He's a professional. Heh!
posted by cjorgensen at 8:23 AM on November 19, 2008

And we make up for them by providing food.

So conference room at noon then? I'll bring napkins.
posted by inigo2 at 8:24 AM on November 19, 2008

This is why I haven't sent you any MeFi mail.
posted by chillmost at 8:25 AM on November 19, 2008

So conference room at noon then? I'll bring napkins.

I have a wheat allergy. Is this dip vegan?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:32 AM on November 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm pretty flexible about pizza toppings, but now that the Budwieser sale is final, could you bring an American pilsner like Miller or Coors? TIA
posted by Kwine at 8:34 AM on November 19, 2008

The only way I will ever forgive you is if you buy me a Leatherman brand multitool.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 8:51 AM on November 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

MetaFilter: I didn't think you were that big of an ass.
posted by netbros at 8:53 AM on November 19, 2008

Is this some Alcoholics Anonymous thing?
posted by atrazine at 9:02 AM on November 19, 2008

I know that's not the preferred Metafiltery way of doing things.

If we're going with the conventional way, how do you feel about keeping your right hand?
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 9:09 AM on November 19, 2008

If we all start apologizing for dumb things we did over a year ago, there won't be time left for us to do any new dumb things.
posted by yhbc at 9:20 AM on November 19, 2008 [7 favorites]

If you buy me a new leatherman, I think it will be easier for me to forget about this. OK?
posted by allkindsoftime at 9:28 AM on November 19, 2008

I'll take asavage up on his loaner Leatherman.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:35 AM on November 19, 2008

If we all start apologizing for dumb things we did over a year ago, there won't be time left for us to do any new dumb things.

If I was planning on apologizing for all the dumb things I've done on this site, I'd need a whole other site to do it on.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:37 AM on November 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

Well it's pretty obvious that some famous person in that thread greased the wheels at Leatherman for you.

One can dream.
posted by Big_B at 9:42 AM on November 19, 2008

jessamyn: "I have a wheat allergy. Is this dip vegan?"

You should also be allergic to soy. That'll make you everyone's best friend.
posted by Plutor at 9:44 AM on November 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

You keep talking about allergies and someone is going to show up here and tell you they are all psychosomatic.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:46 AM on November 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

You should also be allergic to soy.

And lactose intolerant.
posted by timeistight at 10:15 AM on November 19, 2008

Pistols at dawn. It's the only way.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:31 AM on November 19, 2008

I believe the term the children are using today is lactarded.
posted by heeeraldo at 10:49 AM on November 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

damnit, that was in response to timeistight.
posted by heeeraldo at 10:49 AM on November 19, 2008

Wolfdog: I've been feeling pretty hurt about this. You'll have to buy me some beer & pizza before we're cool again.

Next time you're in Utah, drop me a line. :)

Jessamyn: You seemed decently apologetic in that thread to me. We all have bad days.

Thanks. It just didn't seem enough to me. That caliber of asshattery is usually well outside my repertiore.

Quin: I'd chalk it up as a learning experience about what pushes your buttons and let it go.

Amen. And thanks for the hug! (I needed it.)

Solon and Thanks: I wouldn't let it worry you.

Ok, I won't anymore.

Inigo2: So conference room at noon then? I'll bring napkins.

Sure! And shit! I've only got an hour to get to Cal...wait, where are we doing this? Screw it, it's gonna be in the conference room at my workplace in three minutes.

Jessamyn: Is this dip vegan?

Pretty sure there's animal fat in there, babe.

M.C. Lo-Carb!: The only way I will ever forgive you is if you buy me a Leatherman brand multitool.

I'm afraid that you and I are simply not going to be square. It's a shame, but I guess we weren't that close in the first place.

Atrazine: Is this some Alcoholics Anonymous thing?

Nope, I just don't like being an ass.

Big_B: Well it's pretty obvious that some famous person in that thread greased the wheels at Leatherman for you.

Not so. In the end, I didn't have to accept Asavage's generous offer. And no strings were pulled by him. I ended up locating the string I was looking for, and pulled it myself (ew).
posted by SlyBevel at 11:03 AM on November 19, 2008

Which conference room? This case of whisky is getting heavy.

(p.s. - classy post, SlyBevel. Hugs and scotch for you.)
posted by rtha at 11:07 AM on November 19, 2008

I'm sorry I hit you baby, I love you, please let me back in the house. I won't do it again.

Classy.
posted by found missing at 11:31 AM on November 19, 2008

Metafilter should sell indulgences.
posted by milkrate at 11:41 AM on November 19, 2008 [5 favorites]

SlyBevel, your only crime was impatience in the first degree, which led you to a) post that question, then b) follow it up a zillion times.

That's not really Jerk Store material; just, you know, take some deep breaths next time.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:48 AM on November 19, 2008

(Fake, especially you, buddy. Sorry man.)

I know how these regrets can shadow a person around. I've made some apologies for things I'd done in my own life recently, and in every circumstance they shared this particular quality -- the person I'd harmed had forgotten, or the wound healed over and the pain was lost or forgotten in the rush of the everyday, the time between what I'd done and when I came to my senses.

If I wasn't so glad to be forgiven (and so lucky to be forgiven) I'd almost be a little disappointed that it wasn't as important or hurtful to them as I thought it was.

Take care man, there is nothing negative between us.
posted by fake at 11:49 AM on November 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

Sorry doesn't always fix things. Sometimes only a knife fight can help.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:52 AM on November 19, 2008 [3 favorites]

On the other hand, sorry worked for Lieberman.
posted by found missing at 11:57 AM on November 19, 2008

If the backtagging project were still going on, it would offer a method of repentance for lost souls.

Sin                          Punishment
Deleted Comment              50   Tags
Deleted Post                 150  Tags
General Self-Loathing        175  Tags
Flamewar                     200  Tags, a MetaTalk apology, buy drinks for everyone
Self Linking                 400  Tags, lifetime ban
Killed a Mefite              2000 Tags, jailtime, two-week ban
Favoriting your own post     10   Tags, Death

Oh please oh please oh please work correctly
posted by theiconoclast31 at 12:09 PM on November 19, 2008 [4 favorites]

175 for general self loathing? I am so fucked.
posted by waraw at 12:17 PM on November 19, 2008

In my first few months on Metafilter, I spent quite a bit of time being an ass. I would spend many mornings reading back over my outburst from the previous night and wincing at myself. A few times, I even debated emailing the mods and asking for a particularly stupid comment to be deleted, thinking that I wanted a good online identity in case someone came along Googling me or somesuch.

The longer I spend on Metafilter, the less of a big deal communications on Metafilter seem like to me. I stay away from threads where I'll be likely to get worked up and make an ass of myself. I do still make an ass of myself sometimes, but it's no more or less frequent than in real life.

But here's the funny thing: as I spend less time worrying about Metafilter being a permanent record of dumb things that I say, it actually becomes a much more accurate record of who I really am. I'm comfortable looking at any of my comments from the past eight months or so and saying yeah, that's pretty much the real me.
posted by roll truck roll at 12:54 PM on November 19, 2008 [4 favorites]

I thought you apologized nicely in the thread, too - actually, the "begone" comment was pretty funny.

And I sincerely hope atrazine was genuinely asking if this was "an AA thing" and not trying to be flippant.
posted by HopperFan at 1:15 PM on November 19, 2008

Pistols at dawn. It's the only way.

Pffft. It should be Leathermans at dawn.
posted by deborah at 1:29 PM on November 19, 2008

You keep talking about allergies and someone is going to show up here and tell you they are all psychosomatic.

That's true. I am all psychosomatic.
posted by ersatz at 2:01 PM on November 19, 2008

One of the 12 steps in programs like AA is making amends for every wrong you've ever done. I'm not in a 12 step program, but I've known plenty of people who have been.

So I knew what Atrazine was talking about.

Looks like it's number 8:

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Again, that's not my deal, but it's cool.
posted by SlyBevel at 2:03 PM on November 19, 2008

You keep talking about allergies and someone is going to show up here and tell you they are all psychosomatic.


Well you know allergies are just psychosoma. . .
posted by nola at 2:36 PM on November 19, 2008

You're all wrong. The only way to settle this is broadswords.

In a pit.
posted by coriolisdave at 2:48 PM on November 19, 2008

Maybe I've been playing a bit too much Fallout 3, with its sort of post-apocalyptic '50s-punk vibe, but I just read "psychosomatic" as "psychos-o-matic" which I figure is probably the greatest Vault-tec gizmo ever.

I picture it as sort of a chrome-Kirby-vacuum-looking-thing that you attach to some unsuspecting fucker's back, and suddenly he goes from a happy-go-lucky guy on the street to an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human pain.

Though, whether or not this would lead someone to experience allergic symptoms I'll leave as an exercise to the reader.
posted by quin at 2:55 PM on November 19, 2008

found missing: "seek therapy"

No, seek the Consumerist. For the Leatherman problems anyways. lol.
posted by IndigoRain at 2:59 PM on November 19, 2008

It takes a big man to apologise. And it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

*points at SlyBevel*

HA HA!
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:10 PM on November 19, 2008

...with Leathermans, but only the pliers.
posted by From Bklyn at 3:11 PM on November 19, 2008

Leatherman's warranty is an incredible piece of corporate hoodoo.

Let's itemize this:

Step 1: Invent incredibly useful pocket multitool of high quality and usefulness.
Step 2: Offer very liberal warranty policy.
Step 3: Watch geeks and techies totally freak out at the thought of mailing the tool in if it breaks, depriving them of what now amounts to a third prehensile limb.
Step 4: Watch geeks forgo the warranty just to go buy a new one instead.


I never could figure out how anyone could actually send a Leatherman in for replacement or repair. It makes about as much sense to me as sawing off my arm and mailing it to a doctor. Going without it for weeks just seems ludicrously painful.

Meanwhile, my Leatherman Micra is due for a replacement. I've chipped the small flathead trying to open a HDD case, and the tweezers are long gone. I obtained my last one as a Xmas gift from my mom about 5 years ago. It has been in my pocket every day since. The new one - in the mail - is also from my mom for my birthday. Thanks, mom! :)

Yeah, if you know me, you know it goes very strongly against my ethics to engage in this sort of disposable "Oh, just buy a new one!" mentality, but for fuck's sake, I'd rather pluck out my eyes than go tool-free. Leatherman should include some kind of token or chit you can send to them to be sent a loaner multitool while you send yours in for repair or replacement.
posted by loquacious at 3:25 PM on November 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

Leathermans at dawn. (NSFW!!)
posted by rtha at 3:39 PM on November 19, 2008

Leathermans at dawn. (NSFW!!)

You... you just turned every pure, innocently nerdy thing I just said into dirty euphemisms!

What is that, a thousand points in Mornington Crescent?
posted by loquacious at 4:08 PM on November 19, 2008

heh
posted by rtha at 4:22 PM on November 19, 2008

I'm glad I found this thread. The apologies, the no-grudges-held comments, the follow-up humor...all of it reminds me once again why I like being on MeFi so much.

Just yesterday I was cringing and chastising myself after I posted an insensitive comment on AskMe that was in very poor taste. The mods deleted it, thankfully. 'Twas my first deleted comment (and hopefully my last!), but I still regret my lapse in judgment, however brief.

Lessons learned:
1) Sometimes I can contribute much more to AskMe by remaining silent than I can by speaking up.
2) Everyone has bad days, and everyone does regrettable things once in awhile. Often they're quickly forgotten, so there's no use dwelling on them.

Thanks MeFi. :-)
posted by velvet winter at 4:35 PM on November 19, 2008

Thank you for bearing the brunt of my transgressions.
posted by buzzman at 5:14 PM on November 19, 2008

Prehensile limb? What the hell kind of lives do you people live where you need a multitool that often? If I'm home, there's a box of tools about 30 seconds away at all times, and when I walk out my door, I'm happily entering The Zone Where Other People Are Responsible For Broken Stuff.

Do you whip out your serrated edge at parties to hack away at the cheese log? Do you use those tiny little scissors on the subway to clip out news articles? Do you use the little awl thing to pop childrens' balloons as you walk by?

Don't get the cult of Leatherman. And feel free to use yours to filet me for dinner when the apocalypse comes.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 5:39 PM on November 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

Just yesterday I was cringing and chastising myself after I posted an insensitive comment on AskMe that was in very poor taste

You guys are adorable. I'm deleting comments in MeFi where people post unmarked links to the Bud Dwyer suicide video and saying they hope some political figure dies a horrible death from face or ass cancer and you're rending your garments because you were a little rude in AskMe. That's very sweet.

Also, I have two Leathermen (leathermans?) just in case I need to return one. One has a stupid cocktail fork though. That is my backup one.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:43 PM on November 19, 2008

Thanks for that, Jessamyn. A little perspective is helpful for us noobs!
posted by velvet winter at 6:00 PM on November 19, 2008

You... you just turned every pure, innocently nerdy thing I just said into dirty euphemisms!

What is that, a thousand points in Mornington Crescent?

Depends if you're playing the 1969 Double-Double-Reverse-Cowgirl So-The-Barman-Gave-Her-One variation...
posted by aihal at 6:07 PM on November 19, 2008

Metafilter should sell indulgences.

For five bucks each.
posted by fixedgear at 6:23 PM on November 19, 2008

Leatherman Tool Company would be a great name for a Village People cover band where they're all the motorcycle dude.

Just sayin'.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:32 PM on November 19, 2008

A COCKTAIL FORK!!! To spear swedish meatballs!

I'll shut up.

Wait, is there one with a tool for reaming out a lengthwise cavity in a french fry so you can inject ketchup with a red plastic ketchup squirter bottle? IS THERE???

I'm done.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:48 PM on November 19, 2008

One has a stupid cocktail fork though.

I am intrigued.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:42 PM on November 19, 2008

Jessamyn, that must be the Leatherman Flair. That tool saved my life when I was a bar-back in a very busy bar in a very busy neighborhood. I called it the "poke passed out dudes to see if they are dead" tool.
posted by dirty lies at 11:08 PM on November 19, 2008

Prehensile limb? What the hell kind of lives do you people live where you need a multitool that often? If I'm home, there's a box of tools about 30 seconds away at all times, and when I walk out my door, I'm happily entering The Zone Where Other People Are Responsible For Broken Stuff.

As a sort of computer/art/sound technician and general slacker weirdo I don't live a very normal life or somewhere considered normal.

For example, I had this long, nerdy post about all the things I use my various portable tools for on a daily basis - but then someone decided to flip a breaker to power-cycle the router and modem instead being a smart human and flipping the switch on the power strip.

Because of this kind of thing I keep some sort of penlight, LED flashlight or headlamp on or near me all the time, and since I do, I was able to successfully navigate out of my space to the utility room. Which is helpful. But the folding pliers were especially helpful in convincing my roommate not to do that again, as the threat of toothy, well leveraged steel on ones soft dangly bits tends to dramatically reinforce an argument. (Kidding. Mostly.)

I generally carry a Leatherman Micra, a suitable offbrand "micro" leatherman with needlenose pliers, a large but burly offbrand folding plier/multitool/driver and a folding pocket knife that also has a handy utility/box knife. Things I regularly do with them: Fix computers, bicycles, cables, audio equipment, all kinds of things. Use the sharp stuff to cut up fliers, lay out art and type, mash up/cut up stickers, do collage work. I often use my sharp pocket knife for serious cooking because the knives in the group kitchen are dangerously dull most of the time. Also, I frequently use the folding pliers to grab hot pans or pots because we never seem to have any potholders, and pliers are just the thing for grabbing a loose coal at the BBQ or fireplace. I could go on for paragraphs. It's sad, but true. I have a lot of valid reasons for wearing a small utility belt and carrying enough bits of metal to replace a small tool box.
posted by loquacious at 2:55 AM on November 20, 2008

Oh god it really is called the flair. I have a SOG micro tool clip thing that I like okay too.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:04 AM on November 20, 2008

FYI I have one of these. I rewired a house with it. Really. I mean, there were other tools involved but this thing was used in every light I hung, every outlet I put in, etc. Some angry guy even flung it with great force at a concrete floor and it took a divot out of the floor. The angry guy felt pretty foolish then, let me tell you!
posted by Mister_A at 7:17 AM on November 20, 2008

For the truly addicted multitool user, Spyderco has re-released the Spyderwrench (though apparently it's now called the Byrdwrench). I almost bought one of these when I found a first-production-run in the wild shortly after they had been discontinued, but I couldn't justify spending $200 on a tool for my collection when my Leatherman Wave already did everything I needed a pocket-tool to do.

Still, it's an eye-catching design.
posted by quin at 7:23 AM on November 20, 2008

So I should probably join the conversation about Leatherman tools.

I've got a Squirt P4 on my keychain. It's like Make's Warranty Voiders, but I didn't want to pay Make's premium for one. So mine doesn't Warranty Voider on it.

The truth is, I don't use the Squirt much, because I'm almost always carrying my Skeletool CX. It's a wonderful tool. It has a very sharp blade that I use quite a bit, pliers that are needed relatively often as well, and the screwdriver that gets less use because it's not terribly ergonomic. Also, there are lots of things in the wild that need cutting and grabbing, but not so many that need phillips twiddling.

I like to get cases of Mexican Coke at Costco. They come in bottles and with cane sugar instead of HFCS, so they're twice delicious. The Skeletool's bottle opener is really handy for popping these, and the root beer that I brew once or twice a year.

But the Skeletool isn't enough at my bench, so when I get home and have a project, it's my Charge TTi that gets the most work. It's beefier than the Skeletool, which means that back when I wore it every day, I really knew it was there all the time. Now that it stays at the bench, life is better.

Of course, you need the right tool for the right job, and Leatherman tools are only ok for some things, and completely unfit for others. And that's why I've got the DeWalts and the Dremels, and the Linux live CDs.

StupidSexyFlanders: Dude, we're all responsible for fixing broken stuff. If you're out in the world and you see something that needs making right, make it right! The state of the Commons doesn't have to be tragic.

Uh, but don't make it worse. I acknowledge that there are people who shouldn't be carrying tools around.

Anyway, the tools I have now are just my current set. Over the years, I've had a dozen or so Leatherman tools, all told. And some Gerbers, and some Spydercos, and lots of Swiss Army Victorinox knives/tools.

On a side note, I've also broken a few Leatherman tools, and I can attest to Leatherman's usually stellar support. They sure take their time about it these days, though.
posted by SlyBevel at 8:29 AM on November 20, 2008