The Dangerous MeFi for Kids

December 18, 2008 8:42 AM

Looking for the amazing thread, from a couple years ago (?), that became an anthology of stories about really dangerous things we did as kids.

I can't remember whether it was on the blue or in response to an AskMe. And for some reason I can't find it. Can anyone help?

posted by Miko to MetaFilter-Related at 8:42 AM (37 comments total)

I bet it was the 9 year old riding the subway thing.
posted by ND¢ at 8:47 AM on December 18, 2008

That was my guess. Was it Free Range Kids?
posted by pb (staff) at 8:49 AM on December 18, 2008

No, it's older than that. I don't remember much about it, except that I posted a comment in there about a time some kids and I got on a floating dock at the town's boat club and untied it and started to pole it out into the middle of the (tidal) river. There were a lot of other, similar stories but I don't remember too many specific details. I'm trying to find my rafting story to revise for a local reading project.
posted by Miko at 8:54 AM on December 18, 2008

This one?
posted by Pastabagel at 8:56 AM on December 18, 2008

Also, google is your friend.
posted by Pastabagel at 8:56 AM on December 18, 2008

That's it! Thanks pastabagel!
posted by Miko at 8:56 AM on December 18, 2008

Pastabagel has the one with your comment in it, Miko. I found it by searching your history (from your profile) for 'floating'.
posted by carsonb at 8:59 AM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

Doh. Preview is your friend.
posted by carsonb at 8:59 AM on December 18, 2008

You'll put your eye out! Miko, is this it?
posted by MonkeyToes at 9:08 AM on December 18, 2008

Ack, yes it is, carsonb. (Googled metafilter for 'miko' and 'dock.')
posted by MonkeyToes at 9:09 AM on December 18, 2008

Don't overlook this one.
posted by TedW at 9:10 AM on December 18, 2008

It's an entire genre. Great topic.
posted by Miko at 9:15 AM on December 18, 2008

And thanks for mentioning strategies for finding it. I had started to feel like it would take me all day to page through and identify the right thread...I'll try your methods next time.
posted by Miko at 9:16 AM on December 18, 2008

Or this one.
posted by TedW at 9:17 AM on December 18, 2008

When I was a kid, me and a dozen other 5 year olds beat a grown man to death.
posted by Pollomacho at 9:25 AM on December 18, 2008 [4 favorites]

Yeah, and I could've beaten up every last one of you little punks, if only I'd thought to use a kid as a club.
posted by box at 9:29 AM on December 18, 2008

When I was a kid I shot a man in Reno.
posted by RussHy at 11:04 AM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

When I was a young whippersnapper, we didn't even HAVE lawns...
posted by not_on_display at 11:40 AM on December 18, 2008

When I was a kid, my dad had a jar of mercury on hand (for cleaning guns or something?) and I would play with it when no one was home. I knew it was poisonous so I made sure not to eat it -- I'd roll it around in my hand though, and push it around with my fingers. One day I accidentally spilled about a tablespoonful of it into our dining room carpet; I tried to collect as much of it as I could, but it was mostly just gone. I didn't know what else to do, so I just vaccumed the carpet and hoped my dad would never notice that his supply was a little low.

I never did fess up. Is it too late now?
posted by hermitosis at 11:47 AM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

"When I was a kid, me and a dozen other 5 year olds beat a grown man to death."

So, the answer to how many 5-year-olds he could take was 12.
posted by klangklangston at 1:47 PM on December 18, 2008

When I was five someone asked me how many adults I could take and I said "All of them."

So far so good.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:38 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

I'm imagining Songdog's kid, strapped to a chair and wearing a helmet, looking very confused as his dad says "OK, Get ready, I'm gonna turn the computer on!"
posted by Citizen Premier at 5:13 PM on December 18, 2008

Wow, not one person in that whole wonderful thread wrapped an old tube sock around a wire hanger, lit it on fire and spit lighter fluid at it while impersonating Gene Simmons in the bathroom?
posted by Heretic at 5:18 PM on December 18, 2008

Who'd want to impersonate Gene Simmons in the bathroom?
posted by deborah at 6:15 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

Great thread. What used to be fun and games is now terrorism. I could probably write a chapter of a book on the nutty stuff I survived, but I'd have to check the statute of limitations on a few things, first.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:37 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

For the record, the blogger linked in the original thread now blogs here at the Daily Telegraph, Surrey Hills, Australia.
posted by beagle at 7:55 PM on December 18, 2008

The answer would be 13, but when klangklangston was a kid numbers only went up to 12.
posted by dirty lies at 10:17 PM on December 18, 2008

I don't think that TIME FOR SOME STORIES can be left out of this thread.

MY FUCKING REEDS!
posted by clearly at 10:25 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

a classic mefi thread. for once, i am a fan of regurgitation.
posted by CitizenD at 2:17 AM on December 19, 2008

My dad bought me and my brother axes when I was nine. My brother was seven.
Neither of us ever cut ourselves, but we did cut down a lot of trees and build some mad forts. We'd go on hikes miles deep into the woods and as far as I know my mom never got worried.

When I was fourteen, I spent a month in an outdoor leadership program which turned out to be mostly populated by recommendations from Social Services. One kid landed an axe in his foot, another got one in the shin, another had to go to the hospital because he got a splinter in his ass. Some other kids found a Havahart trap, caught a squirrel, and drowned it in the lake.

When I was fifteen I had a moped, and my friend had a massive 400cc 2-stroke dirt bike with a broken frame- the thing was a death machine. We were riding through the woods when my moped went through a puddle and died. My 'friend' had the awesome idea of using a length of rope to tow the moped.
So we get out of the woods and get onto the main highway, and this kid is going fast, way too fast- the speedometer on the moped was pinned, so at least 40. I yell 'SLOW DOWN' at him and he didn't respond. We come over the hill by the town house and he pulls a sharp right into the parking lot. The moped swings around on the rope, which got cut on the chain, and I slide across the parking lot, losing all skin on my hands, arms, and one side of my face.
There was a poetry reading just about to start at the town house at this time, to which I had actually received an invitation- so there were all these little old ladies standing around as I was hopping around screaming YOU FUCKING IDIOT ASSHAT WHY DIDNT YOU SLOW DOWN at the kid, whose answer was "sorry dude, I must have not heard you because of my ADD".

Last I heard from him he was living with his parents after having his license revoked for evading the cops. I'm studying in Europe.
posted by dunkadunc at 7:01 AM on December 19, 2008

... ha, ha... ha...? Wait, why isn't anyone laughing anymore? OH
posted by not_on_display at 7:26 AM on December 19, 2008

How does Gene Simmons sound in the bathroom? Would it be rude to make suggestions about his diet?
posted by SpiffyRob at 7:35 AM on December 19, 2008

Devils Rancher : What used to be fun and games is now terrorism.

Is this the part where I start going on about the joys of being a kid and having had access to a virtually deserted quarry and a functioning knowledge of improvised explosives?

Or about how prior to the existence of paintball guns, my friends and I played a similar game in residential neighborhoods with pump action BB guns (two pumps for near, three pumps for far) and how I'm willing to bet that at least one of us from back then is still carrying around one of those little steel balls in his arm?

No? Probably for the best. I could go on and on and just keep implicating my self further and further.
posted by quin at 8:41 AM on December 19, 2008

You could always print this thread and slip it under the door.
posted by owtytrof at 8:50 AM on December 19, 2008

That thread was great, Miko. Thanks for pointing it out.
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:20 AM on December 19, 2008

I'm about ten years younger than the average MeFite, I think. What a difference a decade makes. My most dangerous childhood activity was the time I used a knife to remove the lid from a cup of yogurt. (I received a minor puncture wound.)
posted by decagon at 4:43 PM on December 20, 2008

Great thread. What used to be fun and games is now terrorism.

Hell, when I was a little kid we didn't play soldiers, we would play at being terrorists because terrorists were so much more badass- even the army dudes didn't like them, plus they got to do cool stuff like blow stuff up and hide out in bases in the jungle. What seven-year old kid doesn't want to do stuff like that?
posted by dunkadunc at 7:23 AM on December 21, 2008