navigating and posting

June 8, 2009 8:48 AM

Very new to this site and not good at navigating in general. Would like to know how I go about posting general questions. For instance if I have a question about cars...do I do a search for cars and then post a question in that particular area? Pardon my clumsiness...this site was recommended highly and I've been told, I can't do or say anything stupid or I will be kicked out, so I want to ask before i attempt anything.
posted by hammail2001 to Etiquette/Policy at 8:48 AM (169 comments total)

No, tags are just like stickers on the back of a car, they aren't the parking lot.

Just post and add some tags, but looking for the same question previously answered may prove useful.
posted by plexi at 8:49 AM on June 8, 2009

Hi there and welcome to MetaFilter. This site has a few major areas which you can see across the top right: MeFi, AskMeFi, Projects, Music, Jobs, Podcast, 10th, MeTa.

Unless your question is specifically about the Music section of the site, you want to ask a question in AskMe. You can go to ask.metafilter.com and click the "New Question" link at the top left. You can only as a question after you've been a member of the site for a week. The instructions on that ask a question page should make sense, feel free to get in touch with a mod via the contact form if that page doesn't make sense.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:51 AM on June 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

I can't do or say anything stupid or I will be kicked out

If this were true there would pretty much nobody left here.
posted by dirtdirt at 8:56 AM on June 8, 2009 [48 favorites]

Wait, "I can't do or say anything stupid or I will be kicked out."

When did this start?

Heh!

hammail2001, it's actually pretty hard to get kicked off. Linking to your site on metafilter or being abusive. If stupidity was a bannable offense there would be like 4 people on this site.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:01 AM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

this site was recommended highly and I've been told, I can't do or say anything stupid or I will be kicked out

You got bad information. Pretty much the only thing that will get you permanently kicked off the site is self-linking to your own stuff for the purposes of skeevy self-promotion (i.e. if you are posting a question in AskMe, do not link to your own stuff unless it's absolutely mission critical to the question - if you are not sure if it is mission critical, assume it is not) or abusing the site or its members repeatedly. Many people are stupid here. I'd suggest if you're concerned that you spend some time clicking around the site or maybe participating some before you post your question as it might give you a better feel for how things work around here.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:04 AM on June 8, 2009 [3 favorites]

TIHS IS MY 1000TH METATALK COMENNT!

[see, still here! I am toadally stupid.]
posted by not_on_display at 9:13 AM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: Many people are stupid here
posted by octothorpe at 9:15 AM on June 8, 2009 [6 favorites]

You got bad information.

Okay, don't listen to jessamyn, she is just some nut. I'm the real Metafilter administrator, and you can post your question wherever you want -- it'll get answered eventually, and it's always fun to mix things up a little. We also thrive on self-promotion around here, so feel free to post anything you're proud of. Metafilter is "self-policed," but for the most part people come here to enjoy lighter Internet fare -- cat pictures, weird and quirky news, and celeb updates. Some tasteful soft-core porn has also been well received in the past.

Oh, and when people post a single period, it's a mark of disdain, like spitting on someone's grave.
posted by Krrrlson at 9:20 AM on June 8, 2009 [18 favorites]

I am not stupid but I play one on the internet.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 9:21 AM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

I am Stupidus!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:21 AM on June 8, 2009

I am stupidest.
posted by sleevener at 9:24 AM on June 8, 2009

Oooohhh, Krrrlson is a big liar! Meany! Liar! Hard-core porn only, please!

Seriously, please do not listen to me, ever.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:25 AM on June 8, 2009

Just as a heads-up, hammail2001, this is a totally okay use of Metatalk so you did right by asking this here, but be aware that this part of the site also serves the purpose of de facto goofy hangout for regulars, and so a lot of the stuff in this thread is probably going to be kind of silly and random.

Adding to what Jessamyn said, you may also want to check out the FAQ, which goes over a lot of the common things that confuse folks new to the site. Don't feel like you have to read the whole thing straight through, but at least give it a skim and then come back to it when you have specific things you're curious about.

You can look up specific FAQ topics by tag—for example, here's all the FAQ entries tagged with askme, for example, which may help with the where-and-how-to-ask issue.

The FAQ also has some information on who works here, if you're curious who the folks on the other end of the contact form are, etc.

Protip: Krrrlson is not one of them.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:33 AM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

I can't do or say anything stupid or I will be kicked out

Who told you that? That's stupid and they should be kicked out!
posted by philomathoholic at 9:33 AM on June 8, 2009 [3 favorites]

> If stupidity was a bannable offense there would be like 4 people on this site.

Three mods and the latest person to sign up without making a comment.
posted by ardgedee at 9:36 AM on June 8, 2009 [12 favorites]

How cool. A totally reasonable question from a new user rather than a suggestion for a major site redesign. I'm speechless.

hammail - I think you're gonna do really well.
posted by EatTheWeak at 9:38 AM on June 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

This is great. ardgedee has left two of the mods as targets for our speculation as to their stupidity. How will this play out? I, for one, am eager to learn!
posted by cgc373 at 9:40 AM on June 8, 2009

MetaFilter's FAQ is well-written and fairly comprehensive.

There are also posting guidelines for MetaFilter and AskMe.

You're on the right track with your question-asking process. Whenever you have a question in mind, it's a good idea to poke around AskMe first to see if someone else has asked your question and received a good answer. Searching by keyword is pretty good, and in addition to the on-site search there's always google (you can choose to switch your site-search over to a google site-specific search on the search results page). Also, AskMe has a fairly well-tended tags feature. The most popular tags are clouded on that page, and from there you can also alter the URL to look for a specific tag or tag pairing. Eg. http://ask.metafilter.com/tags/cars will give every thread that is tagged 'cars'. If you want something more specific, you can add another tag to the URL like so: http://ask.metafilter.com/tags/cars+repair.

Making sure that you're not mindlessly re-asking some easy question that's been answered a zillion times already is an important aspect of the AskMe community, part of what makes it so special. We appreciate nuance and special-snowflake-ness too though, so if you can't find anything that already answers your question, please go ahead and ask.

Anyway, stellar MetaTalk post. You're obviously on the right track, so welcome to MetaFilter! Have fun, and don't fear the stupid.
posted by carsonb at 9:42 AM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Hi and welcome, hammail2001!

Krrrlson is not one of them.

Are you saying that I've been mailing my monthly subscription payment to the wrong guy for the last four years?!?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:43 AM on June 8, 2009 [7 favorites]

Many people are stupid here.

It's a lifestyle choice.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:45 AM on June 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

As others said, stupidity alone will not get you kicked off the site. It may get you mocked, in lesser or greater amounts depending on how stupid you were, but don't let that get to you if it happens.

It's polite to try to search for questions similar to yours before you post, but questions in AskMe are hardly ever deleted as "doubles" because a question is almost never exactly the same as a question that was posted previously. (And if you do find a similar-but-not-exactly-the-same question in searching, it might be helpful to note that yourself in your question, e.g., "I saw this question which someone asked last year, but that's not quite what I'm looking for because...") And as AskMe has grown, we've gotten better at being polite about pointing out doubles or near-doubles ourselves, now more likely to respond "here's a similar previous question which may help" than "you idiot, you should have searched and found this previous thread." Even questions which are exactly the same as earlier questions aren't likely to be deleted if the earlier question was old enough, and are now more likely to just be answered with a "previously" than a "previously, you idiot."

Re-reading your questions, it may be that I need to take a step back here. The sections of the site are:
MetaFilter: for sharing cool/interesting stuff you found on the web.
AskMeFi: for asking questions, except those about the site itself. (Like, a question about cars. Although do note the chatfilter restriction in AskMe.)
Projects: for sharing cool/interesting stuff you made yourself on the web. (Don't use MetaFilter for stuff you made yourself. That's one of the few things that will get you kicked out.)
Music: for sharing music you made.
Jobs: announcing employment opportunities or contract work.
Podcast: podcast produced by the admins featuring notable items on the site.
10th: for arranging celebratory meet-ups associated with MeFi's upcoming 10th anniversary
MetaTalk: Questions about the site itself (like the one you posted here! Congratulations, you did the first thing right), discussion about site policy, bug reports, etc.

mathowie, jessamyn and cortex are the moderators here (with vacapinta having sort of semi-mod status), so their statements here in MetaTalk probably carry more weight than the rest of ours, although they tend to be benevolent dictators and listen to us peons from time to time.

Stupid things may get your post or comment deleted (and the tolerance for that varies by section: as you've already seen, MetaTalk is nearly anything goes in the comments, while AskMe is more down to business), but having a post or comment deleted isn't the same as being kicked off, and don't take it too personally if it does happen. It's happened to most of us at one time or another.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:46 AM on June 8, 2009 [3 favorites]

Okay, don't listen to jessamyn, she is just some nut.
posted by Krrrlson

What the? I thought meatbomb and nd¢ were the fake mods. Is there an official fake mod list somewhere?
posted by Reverend John at 9:48 AM on June 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

Nope, but I've got a fake fake mod list. Paypal me a sawbuck and I'll lay it on you.
posted by box at 9:57 AM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Do you want the Orthodox Fake Mod list, or Reform?
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:57 AM on June 8, 2009 [5 favorites]

Okay everyone - time to hug the n00b!
posted by rtha at 10:01 AM on June 8, 2009

Jesus H. Tacos, rtha, don't you even read the site before posting? It says so right there at the bottom of every MeTa thread, n00bs don't need hugs.
posted by carsonb at 10:13 AM on June 8, 2009

It's a lifestyle choice.

Now, that is just bigoted and wrongheaded. Obviously they were born that way.
posted by dubold at 10:13 AM on June 8, 2009

ONE OF US ONE OF US
posted by klangklangston at 10:20 AM on June 8, 2009

(with vacapinta having sort of semi-mod status)

There will be nothing "semi" about it when he brings the hammer down with 23% more fists of fury.
posted by mrmojoflying at 10:21 AM on June 8, 2009

"Many people are stupid here."

ya know...that just plain hurt...
posted by HuronBob at 10:23 AM on June 8, 2009

with vacapinta having sort of semi-mod status

I think of him more as a DemiMod.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:28 AM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

All of us have done something brutally stupid at some point. Or at least I like to think so, so that I feel less lonely.
posted by davejay at 10:40 AM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

cortex: "be aware that this part of the site also serves the purpose of de facto goofy hangout for regulars, and so a lot of the stuff in this thread is probably going to be kind of silly and random"

Who here likes pancakes? I love pancakes.
posted by Plutor at 10:50 AM on June 8, 2009 [3 favorites]

Someone should have mentioned that if you screw up, your post/comment might be deleted and a moderator may or may not email you as to the reason. (If it's a deleted post, the reason will show up if you go back to it.) You can always contact them as to the reason - the link to the contact form is on the footer. Contacting them directly is better than posting another question in MetaTalk wondering why your post/comment was deleted.

Whether or not you get banned or given a timeout depends on whether the screwup was accidental or purposeful. But I wouldn't worry about it - if you have evil intentions, you already know you're running a risk. The fact that you're bothering to ask suggests you have nothing to worry about.
posted by desjardins at 10:54 AM on June 8, 2009

Who here likes pancakes? I love pancakes.

Don't be stupid.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:04 AM on June 8, 2009

Read before posting? Why would I do that?
posted by rtha at 11:14 AM on June 8, 2009

Three mods and the latest person to sign up without making a comment.

mathowie - owner, mod
jessamyn - mod
cortex - mod
vacapinta - mod
pb - mod, IT dude extraordinaire

So, which three get to stay?
posted by deborah at 11:18 AM on June 8, 2009

Welcome hammail2001. Always great to have new members. Nice to see you are curious. We like curious people here. The more curious the better. Curiouser and curiouser.
posted by netbros at 11:21 AM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

I think a little graphic or something denoting mod status would be helpful in situations like this.
posted by ODiV at 11:22 AM on June 8, 2009

Who here likes pancakes? I love pancakes.

Would anyone like to play Stratego? I have Stratego!
posted by mrmojoflying at 11:23 AM on June 8, 2009

I like crepes.
posted by ob at 11:26 AM on June 8, 2009

OH MY GOD THEY'RE GOING TO ANNOUNCE A NEW IPHONE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT
posted by kbanas at 11:26 AM on June 8, 2009

KNOW ALSO that it is passé on MetaFilter to express a fondness for bacon, but you can pull it off if you allude to Bacon or Bacon.

Or Bacon.
posted by everichon at 11:27 AM on June 8, 2009

Also once a part of my arm smelled like honey despite the fact that I'm not an apiarist.
posted by ob at 11:30 AM on June 8, 2009

Did you rub it with honey?
posted by Science! at 11:38 AM on June 8, 2009

Hi and welcome! I hope you enjoy your stay. There are many curious, nice people here.

Now, I believe I ordered some pork from you some eight years ago. Did you put it in the post yet? :)
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 11:46 AM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Okay everyone - time to hug the n00b!

*strips naked*
posted by loquacious at 11:57 AM on June 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

“Hello, noobies. Welcome to Metafilter. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s green and grey and blue and crowded. At the outside, noobies, you’ve got about a thousand comments here. There’s only one rule that I know of, noobies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ”
posted by qldaddy at 11:57 AM on June 8, 2009 [8 favorites]

Oops - with apologies to Kurt, of course.
posted by qldaddy at 11:58 AM on June 8, 2009

I too posted in this thread.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:02 PM on June 8, 2009

I'm twittering this.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:19 PM on June 8, 2009

I think of him more as a DemiMod.

Pagan! Modotheism is the only true way. There is no Mod but Mod.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:19 PM on June 8, 2009

Re vacapinta's modship: it is the quiet ones that you have to watch.
posted by Cranberry at 12:21 PM on June 8, 2009

OMG I FORGOT ABOUT NEW IPHONE GOING TO ENGADGET BRB
posted by Rock Steady at 12:36 PM on June 8, 2009

Who do I give my list of stupid people to have kicked off to?
posted by cjorgensen at 12:42 PM on June 8, 2009

The new jesusphone doesn't turn wine into favorites, WTF APPLE?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:55 PM on June 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

I'm not stupid - I'm straight-up mentally ill.
posted by GuyZero at 12:56 PM on June 8, 2009

Waffles. Seriously, people. How many times do I have to explain the cost/benefit analysis of small pockets to hold yummy, yummy syrup?

Also, ponies.
posted by elfgirl at 12:59 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Who do I give my list of stupid people to have kicked off to?

Give it to me, cjorgensen. I AM PSEUDOMOD.
posted by Mister_A at 1:00 PM on June 8, 2009

it worries me, infinitely of course, that someone should be so worried about MeFi that they ask before they post

what kind of a rep are we getting out there ?


[dances jig for no good reason]
posted by infini at 1:00 PM on June 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

Child: Daddy, why is the MeFi blue?

Father: What are you, stupid? *punted*
posted by educatedslacker at 1:01 PM on June 8, 2009 [5 favorites]

hammail2001, they didn't make you pay five bucks to join, did they? Because there are plenty of vacant pre-18k accounts that you could've had for free.
posted by item at 1:05 PM on June 8, 2009

kbanas: "OH MY GOD THEY'RE GOING TO ANNOUNCE A NEW IPHONE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT"

hammail2001, front page posts about new Apple products are mandatory no matter how trivial the upgrade.
posted by octothorpe at 1:28 PM on June 8, 2009

I think of him more as a DemiMod.

I think of him as a demimonde.
posted by daniel_charms at 1:28 PM on June 8, 2009

The FAQ also has some information on who works here, if you're curious who the folks on the other end of the contact form are, etc.

No love for Mr. pb? You'll get to know him if you ever post a bug report to MetaTalk. Just wait 17 seconds and the first post will be his.
posted by ALongDecember at 1:28 PM on June 8, 2009

hammail2001, they didn't make you pay five bucks to join, did they? Because there are plenty of vacant pre-18k accounts that you could've had for free.

Sorry to have to correct you Item, but the unused accounts under 18k were recently deleted to give the site more bandwidth.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:29 PM on June 8, 2009

There is no Mod but Mod.

...and Goohammad is the Gessenger of Mod?
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:35 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Someone call for a fake mod? Meatbomb is combing his hair in the shower so I am on duty.
posted by ND¢ at 1:36 PM on June 8, 2009 [6 favorites]

I added long suffering pb to the faq.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:39 PM on June 8, 2009

There is no cabal.
posted by OmieWise at 1:42 PM on June 8, 2009

Sorry to have to correct you Item, but the unused accounts under 18k were recently deleted to give the site more bandwidth

I thought that was done to save pixels so we could get the image tag back.
posted by marxchivist at 1:44 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

There is no cabal.

Lies.
posted by elfgirl at 1:44 PM on June 8, 2009

Someone call for a fake mod? Meatbomb is combing his hair in the shower so I am on duty.

Who mods? The Shadow Mod mods.
posted by ALongDecember at 1:44 PM on June 8, 2009

I'm not stupid - I'm straight-up mentally ill.
posted by GuyZero

You didn't happen to go to a birthday party recently, did you?
posted by cjorgensen at 1:45 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Who is the mad midnight mod what mods at midnight?
posted by Mister_A at 1:47 PM on June 8, 2009

He's always in the bathroom combing his hair. The water bill is outrageous.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:49 PM on June 8, 2009

Ahh, "combing" his "hair".
posted by Mister_A at 1:50 PM on June 8, 2009 [4 favorites]

Who mods the mods?

Mod mods mod mod mod mods buffalo ack *thump*
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:53 PM on June 8, 2009 [4 favorites]

Welcome, hammail2001. You'll need to know what a pony is and how to properly request one if you're going to ever be truly happy here.

*Note that the dude in that ad is not the founder of this site.
posted by heyho at 1:54 PM on June 8, 2009

...with "water."
posted by not_on_display at 1:55 PM on June 8, 2009

...like you get from the toilet.
posted by not_on_display at 1:56 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Note, too, that the girl on the left in the video has a much higher user number than the girl on the right.
posted by heyho at 1:57 PM on June 8, 2009

I had not seen the cake ruining question. I am so fucking pissed at that lady who ruined that cake! What was going through her head when she messed up that cake? The very idea of it infuriates me! WTF!!!!!!!!! Why did you ruin that cake? AHHHHHHH!!!!! I just want to go over to her house and mess up her cakes! I did not need this today! My face is all red and I am sweating and will probably yell at the next person I see do anything, just because I can't yell at the lady that ruined that cake. Damn you cake ruining lady! There aren't enough beautiful cakes in the world for you to go around destroying them. There is no excuse for that. There are a lot of good people in the world who spend there time trying to make the world a better place by making beautiful cakes. And it is hard fucking work to make a lovely cake. It takes time and skill and effort. But it doesn't take any of that to destroy a beautiful cake. Any asshole can destroy a cake, but it takes something special to make one. To destroy a cake is an act of barbarism. It is the antithesis of life to destroy a beautiful cake. It is like spitting on a baby. All of life, all of civilization, all art, all true humanity, is just the making of a beautiful cake. Yet there are people out there who would destroy that cake and I don't understand why and now I am crying at my desk over a cake.
posted by ND¢ at 2:07 PM on June 8, 2009 [96 favorites]

.
posted by swift at 2:10 PM on June 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

/me hands ND¢ a plate of beans.
posted by elfgirl at 2:14 PM on June 8, 2009

See now, a nice innocent newbie comes along and asks a perfectly polite, reasonable question and the lot of you scare him off with in-jokes about bacon, ponys and psudo mods.

Go to your room, all of you. No dinner, and NO BACON.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:15 PM on June 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

I think of him more as a DemiMod.
Me, too. God, I loved him in GI Jane.
I think one of us has a gender identity issue, though.
posted by joaquim at 2:17 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

I added long suffering pb to the faq.

*re-titles faq to pb's & Demimods*
posted by YoBananaBoy at 2:21 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

I keep a pig and a knife in my bedroom for the explicit purpose of avoiding punishment from people like you, DarlingBri. Hah! Take that!
posted by heyho at 2:22 PM on June 8, 2009

*re-titles faq to pb's & Demimods*

Is is the first printing with the crazy Lovecraftian mods?
posted by GuyZero at 2:29 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Is mod still short for moderator? 'Cause I thought pb avoided that to concentrate on making this place run. But I agree that he needs some sort of snappy abbreviated title.

(Unfortunately, since I understand not a whit of how his mad skillz actually work, I must call upon my geekier Metafilter brethern and sistren for suggestions.)
posted by desuetude at 2:34 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

That should of course be brethren and sistren. When do we get that edit window, pb?
posted by desuetude at 2:35 PM on June 8, 2009

Yeah, he's a mod in the loose colloquial sense of having the same full-time, mefi-staff status as me and Matt and Jessamyn, but he's not really expected to do Moderator stuff and really only deals with that stuff in total emergencies.

So it's both accurate and inaccurate to call him "a mod", but it's not an ambiguity that's a big problem outside of situations where someone is e.g. demanding that he Mod Something, Dammit or whatever.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:53 PM on June 8, 2009

Do you know that "Mod" spelled backwards is "Dom"? It makes you think.
posted by ND¢ at 3:00 PM on June 8, 2009

Not me. I never think.
posted by cgc373 at 3:05 PM on June 8, 2009

Dom WILL make you think, cgc373! On your knees, worm!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:09 PM on June 8, 2009 [6 favorites]

Contemplative CBT
posted by Burhanistan at 3:12 PM on June 8, 2009

Didn't you guys all used to be "admins" rather than "mods"? Or was that somewhere else?
posted by nowonmai at 3:19 PM on June 8, 2009

Cognitive ball torture.
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:19 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Or is it cock and behavioral therapy? Damn TLAs.
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:22 PM on June 8, 2009

Or is it cock and behavioral therapy? Damn TLAs.

With your Contemplative CBT regimen, you'll have plenty of time to work out those questions for yourself.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:22 PM on June 8, 2009

First!
posted by Artw at 3:31 PM on June 8, 2009

"Admins" works too, yeah, and prevents the "what about rockers" jokes I suppose.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:32 PM on June 8, 2009

"Admins" works too

The official term, of course, is NORMARATOR.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:34 PM on June 8, 2009 [4 favorites]

Kev: I don't give a monkey's arsehole about Mods and Rockers. Underneath, we're all the same, 'n't we?
Jimmy: No, Kev, that's it. Look, I don't wanna be the same as everybody else. That's why I'm a Mod, see? I mean, you gotta be somebody, ain't ya, or you might as well jump in the sea and drown.
posted by heyho at 3:36 PM on June 8, 2009 [3 favorites]

MODs? what is this? 1993? Nowadays we have S3Ms, which can have up to 16 channels.
posted by qvantamon at 3:42 PM on June 8, 2009

nowonmai: "Didn't you guys all used to be "admins" rather than "mods"?"

They still are, if you have the right mod.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:02 PM on June 8, 2009

"Admins" works too, yeah, and prevents the "what about rockers" jokes I suppose.

Pff. Boring. And I like that joke. VETOED. Try again, mod.
posted by desuetude at 4:22 PM on June 8, 2009

Not me. I never think.

Me neither, 'cause I'm stupid.
posted by octothorpe at 4:27 PM on June 8, 2009

I should have taken this thread out of my recent activity and shot it about 50 comments ago.
posted by desjardins at 4:32 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

About the cake-ruiner: I would have made her husband cry too.
posted by philomathoholic at 4:39 PM on June 8, 2009

n00bs should get unlimited use of the image tag for the first 60 minutes after they sign up, as a welcoming gesture.

mathowie would make a fortune from sockpuppets
posted by popechunk at 4:41 PM on June 8, 2009 [3 favorites]

I think of him as a demitasse. Or a Painted Cow ("vaca" - "pinta" - get it?)
posted by Lynsey at 5:08 PM on June 8, 2009

Regarding the cake.

First:

.

Second, I would have never normally even clicked into that link, but I saw the number of comments and thought maybe jakeelala showed up or someone was asking about the best home method of declawing a cat.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:14 PM on June 8, 2009

n00bs should get unlimited use of the image tag for the first 60 minutes after they sign up, as a welcoming gesture.

We've had this policy in place for years. I think it makes the place nicer, don't you?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:24 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Would you rather have the cake ruiner explain why she ruined the cake or find out what taters means?

When did Mefi start having all these unanswered questions? Things used to be simpler.
posted by ND¢ at 6:17 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

So hammail2001, only posted this question and hasn't said anything since. Did we scare him away.
posted by octothorpe at 6:23 PM on June 8, 2009

Would you rather have the cake ruiner explain why she ruined the cake or find out what taters means?

She's the last person I'd want to hear explain why she did it. It would be an explanation more infuriating than the act itself, like "I thought the sugar flowers were so pretty they would look nice on all the window-sills!" and then would come the crunch and the blood and the criminal charges.
posted by palliser at 6:24 PM on June 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

About the cake-ruiner: I would have made her husband cry too.
oh man, me too

also - I prefer a good tofu scramble over pancakes
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 6:32 PM on June 8, 2009

So hammail2001, only posted this question and hasn't said anything since. Did we scare him away.

Not returning to your own thread to defend baseless accusations are grounds to be 'kicked out'.
posted by gman at 6:54 PM on June 8, 2009

Oh. My. God. I just read the cake-ruiner-bitch thread. Oh. My. Fucking. God. Stunned an saddened. Ashamed for humanity. WTF humanity??

.

for the cake. I think I've got to go lay down, now.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:56 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

When I play this back in my head, the Cake Thrasher is Winona Ryder.
posted by palliser at 7:02 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

So hammail2001, only posted this question and hasn't said anything since. Did we scare him away.

Maybe he came to MeFi to ask advice on how to apologize about a cake his wife had ruined.
posted by elfgirl at 7:28 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

were you after a used car?
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:32 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

since i'm banned from anohter meTa post for another 5 and a half days, here's a question, since hammail2001 isn't using this thread anymore:

how do you know when you've been on MeFi too long?

for me it was when i spotted my first "double" post from 2007 ... and I realized "OMG I've been around too long, I remember this being posted a while ago" and then you find out that "a while" means oh a couple of years, give a take a few months


*weeps*
posted by infini at 7:41 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

ooo no I was after UbuRoivas


*waves from near enough to latvia*
posted by infini at 7:42 PM on June 8, 2009

Just read that AskMe...

What.
The.
Fuck.
Cakebitch?


You see, hammail2001... that's the kind of thing that will get you banned. Don't fuck with our cakes.
posted by educatedslacker at 7:55 PM on June 8, 2009

I just wanted to add one more thing. To all those who, like me, are angry about the fact that this person ruined a beautiful cake, and that our world sometimes seems to be full of cake ruiners, I say this: the answer is not to punish the cake ruiners, because being such a person is punishment enough. The answer is to defy the cake ruiners by not letting them discourage you from making your own beautiful cake.
posted by ND¢ at 8:11 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Think of how much more disturbing that AskMe would have been had this been the cake in question. And by disturbing, I mean utterlyfuckingfascinating.
posted by heyho at 8:30 PM on June 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

But there are no flowers on that cake...

Eww to the babycakes.
posted by educatedslacker at 8:45 PM on June 8, 2009

*waves to infini*

was there much coverage over there of the recent blondes parade in Riga? something to cheer the public up, apparently.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:55 PM on June 8, 2009

I think the appropriate response to that cake-ruining hag is to organize a flash mob to show up at her house and throw cupcakes at her AND her beast of a husband.

.

for the cake.
posted by winna at 9:16 PM on June 8, 2009

was there much coverage over there of the recent blondes parade in Riga? something to cheer the public up, apparently.
posted by UbuRoivas

actually it depends, if the sun is out, which isn't common then there isn't much coverage on the blondes
posted by infini at 10:28 PM on June 8, 2009

Aw man, it looks like he disabled his account :\
posted by jtron at 10:57 PM on June 8, 2009

why does he hate uncovered latvian blondes?
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:16 PM on June 8, 2009

hammail2001: You'll notice that some of the comments in this thread (and others) have a little label that says [X favorites +]. You'll also notice that the other comments just have a [+]. Clicking on the plus will mark that comment as one of your favorites. Others can also mark your posts and comments as their favorites.

It's important that you accumulate favorites. These favorites serve as a kind of currency around the site. They can be redeemed for various merchandise, including the new commemorative Sixcolors Ban Hammer replica as well as Useful Answer Refill Packs for ask.metafilter.

Various sexual favors are also available, for prices* similar to those in town.

*After exchange.
posted by Netzapper at 2:53 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

I still feel like the office junior and I've been able to comment for over two years! I'm still horribly scared when I check my recent activity every morning. Not that I say that much. But still, you're all very intimidating. Doesn't stop me from typing though. It's not like you can reach through the monitor and slap me, right? I've memorized what colour means what though, and I'm taking that with me when I have my first real shift at my job tomorrow. They can't slap me, I'll be fine. I may get a talking to if I'm really stupid, but I can't get physically hurt and that's all that matters. My brain is used to abuse.
posted by h00py at 4:11 AM on June 9, 2009

So that comment was supposed to make the OP feel better about their query but when I read it back I may not have done anything more than have given them the impression that it is very scary around here. It's not that scary, particularly if you're doing the AskMe thing, because the green is very civilized and slappers get slapped over there so I'd just like to say that you don't have to be as whussy as me and I'm sure you'll be fine!
posted by h00py at 4:44 AM on June 9, 2009

[/me slaps h00py] Get a hold of yourself!

[/me slaps h00py again]

[long line of passengers has formed behind me]
posted by not_on_display at 4:54 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]

I'm pretty sure you looney tunes have scared hammail2001 away but I'm hoping not (and waiting with baited breath for that first post on the green).
posted by bluesky43 at 5:03 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

Is it wrong to hope that the first post is a self-link to the blue so we can have more fun in the grey?
posted by educatedslacker at 6:15 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

and waiting with baited breath

ENGAGE LANGUAGEHAT BEAM!
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:55 AM on June 9, 2009

Hey it's un-disabled again! He probably pressed the button just to see what it would do. Are there credits, like after you win the Special Cup on Mario Kart Wii? Who knows? It is tempting to find out, but I'm afraid the mods won't let me back in...

Still, why did you guys make the "disable account" button so alluring?
posted by Mister_A at 7:00 AM on June 9, 2009

The button was actually ever pressed at all. jtron was either goofing or deeply confused.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:11 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

i *cough* went and looked all over my profile page and couldn't find the disable button... where is it? just asking
posted by infini at 7:12 AM on June 9, 2009

i *cough* went and looked all over my profile page and couldn't find the disable button... where is it? just asking

With this dreadful and terrible knowledge comes dreadful and terrible responsibility. Wield it according to these principles.*

Profile>edit profile > scroll to bottom of page > link labeled "Close Your Account."

*IANAL, and as such accept no responsibility for actions taken wilfully, accidentally, or in malice or ignorance, as a result of this disclosure. Free will, all that & cetera.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:41 AM on June 9, 2009

There's another click required after following the Close Your Account button, in case anyone wants to stare a bit more closely into yon abyss.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:08 AM on June 9, 2009

and waiting with baited breath

ENGAGE LANGUAGEHAT BEAM!

No, no, you misunderstand: there are actually nightcrawlers in bluesky43's mouth in order to attract flying fish. But it's true, the standard expression is "with bated breath," meaning 'with one's breath abated, restrained, held back.'
posted by languagehat at 8:20 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

Go 'way. 'Batin'.
posted by owtytrof at 8:24 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

What happens after you click the 'nother button? Does a weird blue scrim descend upon your browser? Do we hear a couple of sad-funny muted trombone notes? Does jessamyn materialize out of a tornado and shout "Yes!" while striking a heroic pose?

Why did you guys make the button huge and red and glowing, and write "free candy" on it? It's really hard to not press it.
posted by Mister_A at 8:49 AM on June 9, 2009

Thanks owtytrof, now I have to find a napkin to wipe my screen. Jerk!
posted by no1hatchling at 8:49 AM on June 9, 2009

*extinguishes languagehat beam*
Hey, it was beginning to overheat after an hour and a half. I've gotta go build in some cooling fans or something.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:17 AM on June 9, 2009

thanks for the hint, Cortex... but I think I'll stay away from that button and go use my blog instead to navel gaze

looks at thread

man, we're weird
posted by infini at 11:03 AM on June 9, 2009

h00py, it's a maiming, not a slap (link goes to a cartoon from one of my projects).
posted by cjorgensen at 12:23 PM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

> at that lady who ruined that cake

I remember cakethrasher!! It used to be one of my favorite magazines! Until of course they stopped featuring the cake and put in all those pictures of skateboarding. It was all downhill from there
posted by ostranenie at 12:44 PM on June 9, 2009

no, I meant BAITED breath (really).
posted by bluesky43 at 1:16 PM on June 9, 2009

MetaTalk: either goofing or deeply confused.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:46 PM on June 9, 2009

I added long suffering pb to the faq.

Wait, I wrote a song for him before you even added him to the FAQ? No wonder he sent me a Christmas card.
posted by davejay at 1:27 AM on June 10, 2009

Oh. My. God. I just read the cake-ruiner-bitch thread. Oh. My. Fucking. God. Stunned an saddened. Ashamed for humanity. WTF humanity??

tell me about it!

164 comments it took, ONE HUNDRED AND FUCKING SIXTY FOUR, before i made the first across-the-internet diagnosis of aspergers syndrome.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:59 AM on June 10, 2009

> no, I meant BAITED breath (really).

I know! That's what I was trying to tell these people!
posted by languagehat at 8:57 AM on June 10, 2009

but where's the OP ???
posted by infini at 10:57 AM on June 10, 2009

ENGAGE LANGUAGEHAT BEAM!

Clearly, master baited.
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 7:37 AM on June 12, 2009

Clearly, master baited.

Again, your hurting my self of steam.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:52 AM on June 12, 2009

3 more days before the big question!
posted by cjorgensen at 10:22 AM on June 12, 2009

It looks like we completely scared away hammail2001.
posted by Midnight Skulker at 12:38 PM on June 12, 2009

Well... not to be a downer, but with a name like hammail2001 (in the spam filtering realm, "ham" is a message that looks like spam, but is something you actually want), I have a feeling that they may have been looking for information on how to successfully advertise something on the site without it being deleted, and the responses showed that that wasn't going to happen. I guess we'll see if that's the case or not, but the initial cluelessness and the subsequent lack of response doesn't bode well. Prove me wrong, hammy!
posted by team lowkey at 3:33 PM on June 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

"ham" is a message that looks like spam, but is something you actually want

i thought they were trying to push "bacn" for that usage.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:02 PM on June 12, 2009

i thought they were trying to push "bacn" for that usage.

When they add push-to-bacon to the iPhone, that's when I'm getting one.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:20 AM on June 13, 2009

this site was recommended highly and I've been told, I can't do or say anything stupid or I will be kicked out

You got bad information.

Could we call it "good misinformation"?
posted by weston at 2:14 PM on June 14, 2009