There’s an Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale on sale at Woot today [more inside]

September 4, 2009 10:28 PM

The description on today's Woot deal looks uncannily familiar.
posted by malthas to MetaFilter-related at 10:28 PM (85 comments total)

I don't check woot regularly at all, so I didn't realize immediately that the "thread" on that post wasn't just like normal woot community people having a discussion. I was pretty confused why just a [more inside] tag was worth mentioning until I figured out what was going on.
posted by cortex at 10:35 PM on September 4

They completely failed to mention a plate of any kind, beans or no.
posted by chairface at 10:35 PM on September 4

Didn't catch the [more inside] at first. Well played, Woot, well played.
posted by gregschoen at 10:35 PM on September 4

Convergent evolution.
posted by killdevil at 10:36 PM on September 4 [1 favorite]

For posterity, a permalink to the Woot Blog
posted by gregschoen at 10:36 PM on September 4

Boy, I bet that built-in 90 days worth of memory is pretty sweet. If you can compare your old measurements with your current measurements to see your progress and how you’ve been meeting your goals, that could easily translate into a database program. How big is 90 days? Has anyone tried to port Nethack to this?

Their favorites button seems to be broken, so I'm just posting this here.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:44 PM on September 4 [10 favorites]

Oh my god, that is hilarious.

I loved all of AgathaWistfully's comments.


Rest in peace, Bill.

Is he someone you’d have to watch television to know about? Because I don’t. I don’t watch any television. Just throwing that out there. About how I don’t watch television. Even though you clearly do. Unlike me.
posted by AgathaWisftfully at 11:38:32

And the only rational commenter gets banned by "AdminJessie" ? Hilarious.
posted by nooneyouknow at 10:48 PM on September 4 [1 favorite]

On the real MetaFilter, the first comments would have been a bunch of cries of PepsiBlue, and maybe some accusations of self-linking. When "AdminJessie" got there, she would not have banned anybody, but probably would have deleted the whole thing for being a crappy single-link post about some dumb weight-loss gadget.

I prefer the real MetaFilter.
posted by maqsarian at 10:49 PM on September 4 [4 favorites]

From the memes cited ("I don't own a tv", and especially "pancakes"), that is at least a level 4 Mefite right there. Who probably reads Metatalk.
posted by qvantamon at 11:02 PM on September 4 [2 favorites]

AdminJessie is a very pale Jess imitation. Throw in a "fighty" or two and it would have at least gotten somewhere in the ball park. Also, there should have been some deadpan one-liner from AdminCerebellum. Poor fake admin showing all around.
posted by scody at 11:07 PM on September 4 [4 favorites]

Let's sue them!
posted by Meatbomb at 11:18 PM on September 4

I saw no mention of snowflakes, either.

But I skim.
posted by SLC Mom at 11:44 PM on September 4

Wonder how many scales they're going to sell with metafilter.com Referral headers.
posted by floam at 12:07 AM on September 5

fuck, i made a bill hicks reference just this morning :(

rumbled.
posted by empath at 12:10 AM on September 5 [4 favorites]

Damn it, I was there minutes ago and I completely missed the riff.

Is that a television show? Or a movie? I wouldn’t know, because I don’t support either. I also only buy my books from used book stores. All I read are mysteries about cats and early Asimov

This pleases me because to get this kind of accuracy, I know that at least a few of their writers are fans if not family.

*waves*
posted by quin at 12:17 AM on September 5 [2 favorites]

You’d be at home, listening to Bill Hicks records. Which everyone should be doing, all the time. Too bad he passed away, I bet he’d totally would have agreed with me and we would have been the best of friends.

Holy mother of god, woot can hear our thoughts!
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:23 AM on September 5 [9 favorites]

My God, they nailed it... I love the Woot descriptions.
posted by spiderskull at 12:28 AM on September 5

I like the Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale like it's my profession.
posted by empyrean at 12:36 AM on September 5 [3 favorites]

A scale? Wait... is woot calling MeFi fat? Because, I mean, have they seen Fark?
I'm just saying.
posted by Brody's chum at 12:37 AM on September 5

HURF DURF SCALE VENDOR
posted by maqsarian at 1:06 AM on September 5 [10 favorites]

WootsieBlue.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:17 AM on September 5 [1 favorite]

I just want to take a moment to point out that I have a TV but never use it. Seriously, it's sitting over here next to my desk and it's actually covered in dirty laundry right now. The funny thing is, I bought it knowing full well that I don't watch TV. I guess I sort of, I dunno, felt this obligation as an American to own one. It's kind of creepy, actually.
posted by Avenger at 1:21 AM on September 5

AdminJessie is a very pale Jess imitation. Throw in a "fighty" or two and it would have at least gotten somewhere in the ball park.

Needs more grar.
posted by juv3nal at 1:26 AM on September 5 [2 favorites]

TEEN GIRL SQUAD!

Woot. Woot. Woot. Woot!
posted by clearly at 1:51 AM on September 5

I have a TV and watch awesome stuff on it.
posted by EatTheWeak at 1:54 AM on September 5

[this is good]
posted by dg at 2:19 AM on September 5 [1 favorite]

Also, I have a TV too and I watch crap on it. It stops me from having to think.
posted by dg at 2:24 AM on September 5 [2 favorites]

W.C., you’re one of my favorite posters, but you’re way off base here.

Is he someone you’d have to watch television to know about?

Has anyone tried to port Nethack to this?

Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale is a terrible idea. And it’s sexist. And biased. And probably racist

Meh. A gussied-up scale with clumsy copy and unfunny ideas. Wake me when it’s steampunk.

Wow. MeFi just got (so lovably) pwned! But it's nice to know that we, collectively, are a literary style.
posted by Lush at 2:36 AM on September 5

You know, with a sensitive, multi-function measuring device like this, maybe someone could figure out what the hell Taters were!

It still haunts me.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 2:38 AM on September 5 [4 favorites]

I don't have a television, not in an obnoxious way, but because I'm a lazy hobo who refuses to furnish my apartment with anything more than a bed, a lawn chair, and some barstools. Sometimes I remind people I have no television, but again not in an obnoxious way, but to explain why I have no idea what they're talking about.

I don't watch a lot of movies either. I suspect I think most people are a lot funnier than they really are, because when I do get around to watching movies I am often disappointed to realize that what I thought were my friends' own hilarious words were movie quotes.
posted by little e at 3:07 AM on September 5

God, I hope hobo isn't any kind of antiquated racial insult.
posted by little e at 3:08 AM on September 5 [5 favorites]

You've just slandered everyone from Hoboken, little e. Or maybe all "unmannerly louts" from the Northwest (Hey! I'm one of those!) I hope you're proud of yourself, you slandering slanderer! Slandering all over the place like that ... unless you weren't ...

*hops boxcar*
posted by EatTheWeak at 3:21 AM on September 5 [1 favorite]

Sorry to break this to you little e but Hobo originally meant Hispanic Occidental Black Oriental and was used as shorthand by racists and bastards to allude to people of other races while in their earshot.
It then became synonymous with bad much in the same way gay = bad in the mouths of mouthbreathers and the brains of the brainless today.
It began to be used as a general term for homeless travellers during the Great Hobo Shift of the 1890s (like the Great Vowel Shift but for hobos).

So if you use the word hobo you are an irredeemable racist.
posted by minifigs at 3:22 AM on September 5 [7 favorites]

I have a TV and I've watched awesome stuff and crap and this one time I watched this anti-smoking commercial where they squeezed plaque out of some dead dude's aorta, and it looked like someone squeezing nasty toothpaste out of a nasty toothpaste tube, and I didn't brush my teeth for a week.
posted by dirigibleman at 3:24 AM on September 5 [2 favorites]

I suspect that anything I say at this point should begin with an unequivocal condemnation of outdoorsmanism, and an apology for failing to more clearly flesh out my meaning in the comment called out in this thread, so that it could not be misconstrued as outdoorsmanist.
posted by little e at 3:32 AM on September 5 [1 favorite]

I used to own a TV, but then I gave it to my mom. Now I do not own a TV. I do, however, own a 24-inch computer monitor that I sit slightly too close to and watch lots of DVDs and internet video on, so I guess I might as well have a TV.

Also, my roommate owns a very large TV that takes up an entire wall of the living room. I never watch it.
posted by maqsarian at 3:33 AM on September 5

My god this is so fattist. And biased. And probably racist, although I don’t really care to explain why just now. I’m just disgusted it even exists.

And I don't own a TV, but my roommates do, and I pay my share for cable, and sometimes I watch five hours of Law & Order in a row.

It's a sickness.
posted by Kattullus at 4:43 AM on September 5

The only television I've ever owned was stolen. By me.

Now I hardly watch television at all, except police procedurals.

I hope this is ironic enough.
posted by Sova at 4:44 AM on September 5

Heh, I wonder if the nethack references were from my comment the other day about running nethack on an Android phone. If not, I guess I'm just a walking stereotype. :)
posted by Malor at 5:11 AM on September 5

I don't know. I think it might've been funnier if there had been some actual comedy involved, rather than just cutting and pasting random comments from MetaFilter.
posted by Eideteker at 5:22 AM on September 5

Some of those were great, but AdminJessie was totally offbase, and I didn't recognize VoyagerFan at all as a MeType.

Better AdminJessie: "Yeah, honestly, it's an edge case, and not my favorite thing ever because we don't typically do Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale posts well. AdminCerebellum and I had to delete a bunch of early hurfdurf fattyfatty2by4 comments, but it doesn't break the guidelines and there's some decent discussion happening now, so maybe the people who are outraged by Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale could scale down the fighty comments or take them to email.*

*no mention of MetaTalk since this is supposedly Generic Site
posted by taz at 5:25 AM on September 5 [10 favorites]

Does it not sliiightly worry anyone how precisely targeted this viral marketing is?

Anyway - hilarious!
posted by Magnakai at 5:33 AM on September 5

I don’t see why everyone is flipping out and acting like it’s a personal attack. Are you all projecting inner issues or something?

*snerk*
posted by zennie at 5:50 AM on September 5

Everyone in the Woot! post comments is talking about the scale. Haven't they even noticed what is going on?!!
posted by orme at 6:09 AM on September 5

I can't believe I actually looked through the Woot comments. I've really lost it.
posted by orme at 6:10 AM on September 5

That's actually a good price on what looks like a useful tool (saying you are trying to lose weight of course). If it weren't for this snark-fest I would have never seen it on sale since I never go to woot. Thanks MetaFilter!
posted by zennoshinjou at 6:19 AM on September 5

I fully expect the MeFite Bloodhound Gang to have tracked down the writer responsible, their user number and home address by this afternoon. Or else they will sheepishly turn up here out of fear of what the MBG may uncover if they dig to deep.
posted by SassHat at 6:19 AM on September 5 [2 favorites]

I dug a hole to deep once, I was aiming for China, but I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
posted by idiopath at 6:21 AM on September 5

Nice.
posted by OmieWise at 6:29 AM on September 5

That's hilarious. And delightful.
posted by DarlingBri at 6:34 AM on September 5

the MeFite Bloodhound Gang

woot've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling Mefites.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 6:42 AM on September 5 [2 favorites]

The MeFite Bloodhound Gang is too busy doing it like they do it on the Discovery Channel to assist.
posted by Loto at 6:46 AM on September 5 [3 favorites]

I kind of want that scale.
posted by DU at 7:20 AM on September 5

I don’t own any Omron scales. Just throwing that out there. About how I don’t own an Omron scale. Even though you clearly do. Unlike me.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:24 AM on September 5

Wow, I really like to type the word pancakes!
posted by ThreeWolfMeme at 1:14:01


We are through the looking glass people.
posted by The Whelk at 8:03 AM on September 5 [1 favorite]

posted by AdminJessie

o_O
posted by jessamyn at 8:06 AM on September 5 [8 favorites]

Are there any shows left on television that aren't police procedurals?
posted by that girl at 8:10 AM on September 5

Next up: The Ronco Declaw-O-Matic.
posted by timeistight at 8:15 AM on September 5 [2 favorites]

that girl, yes, lawyer shows and hospital procedurals.
posted by nooneyouknow at 8:19 AM on September 5

tl;dr
posted by Obscure Reference at 8:30 AM on September 5

Nice. I know a few of the woot guys have been around here for a long time, so to them I say thanks for the homage!
posted by mathowie at 8:34 AM on September 5 [1 favorite]

little e, did it really never occur to you that those movies might be quoting your friends? Those guys are hilarious.

Also, your description of your apartment reminded me strongly of the furnishings that the hero of a detective novel usually finds in the recently-vacated pad of the out-of-town hit man. What did you say you do for a living?

I have a TV. From time to time, I find something awesome on it, so I watch that. For about 10 minutes, by which time, I am asleep. Maybe the stuff is not so awesome, after all.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:35 AM on September 5

Better AdminJessie

taz, your Jessamyn is a lot better than my Christopher Walken. Damn.
posted by cortex at 8:42 AM on September 5 [1 favorite]

That was awesome.
posted by grouse at 8:53 AM on September 5

You know, I was going to go out and shop at Costco for the very first time today so I could use the $20 cash card that's been sitting in my wallet for months. I was thinking I would just get some really nice sheep's milk feta before my unused membership lapsed, but now all I can think is, "OMG, there's a machine out there that can tell me how much instinctive and profound fat I have", because all this time, I thought my fat was, you know, a sluggish free rider with no intellectual interests that I just had to get rid of, but no, it's, like, visceral, which is good, right?

So if I buy the scale AND a big bucket of sheep's milk feta, I can maximize my profound fat by eating the feta, then track the growth of the fat through the scale. There is the shame of dealing with some suburban big box discount store, but I'm going to ride my bike there, keys poking through my outstretched left fist all the way while I yell "GRAR!" at every driver I see crying as I blast through yet another red light, which makes it good, right?
posted by maudlin at 10:47 AM on September 5

This makes me very happy.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:58 AM on September 5

I have two televisions, neither of which have been turned on in the last year. Unfortunately they are massive and heavy and I want to get rid of them, but never work up the energy to get them out of my house.
posted by scrutiny at 11:13 AM on September 5

But is there bacon?
posted by cmgonzalez at 11:19 AM on September 5

(like the Great Vowel Shift but for hobos)

I want my next band's name to be "Glottal Stop and the Alveolar-Palatal Fricatives".
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:31 AM on September 5

I'll take three!
posted by absalom at 12:37 PM on September 5

I have a TV, I don't have Cable.
posted by empath at 12:39 PM on September 5

That this turned into yet another "I don't have a TV and let me tell you why" thread is just priceless.
posted by longsleeves at 12:40 PM on September 5

I almost never turn on the television.





I'm far too busy looking at crappy episodes of every show ever made on Hulu.
posted by Deathalicious at 12:43 PM on September 5 [1 favorite]

I have a TV, but I watch as little as possible, and when I do, I always keep at the forefront of my mind the culturally hegemonic impact of the military-industrial-entertainment complex and the fact that everything I'm watching has been created by Christians trying to convert me.
posted by languagehat at 1:07 PM on September 5 [4 favorites]

I have eight TVs, all in the same room. The biggest one is mounted in the open windshield frame of a Humvee that was cut up and installed as though it's crashing through the wall. I watch them, too, all at the same fucking time. Each one has its own surround sound speaker bar, and when I crank up the volume, it's like dozens of voices are buzzing around in my head. I'm watching them right now. Listening to everything they tell me. It is awesome. The only thing missing in my life is a scale that can talk to me and record our conversations, and learn. It could be my friend, and help me to remember important facts, because I'm beginning to forget things, lately.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:06 PM on September 5 [3 favorites]

what, no tl;dr?

for me it's tl;db (too long; didn't buy)

Actually, it's Sold Out, so I suspect there are more MetaWoots in our future... next one will probably be an Ask MetaWoot because I don't think their writers can handle a MetaTalkWoot. I'm sorry, but just look at their lame treatment of the Marvel/Disney merger... and they didn't even do a product tie-in.
posted by wendell at 3:13 PM on September 5

From the memes cited ("I don't own a tv", and especially "pancakes"), that is at least a level 4 Mefite right there.

That, or someone lifted some injokes from the wiki, not realizing that no one uses those ones anymore 'cause they're stale as fuck.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:25 PM on September 5

If you think fuck is stale, you're doing it wrong.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:30 PM on September 5 [4 favorites]

I kind of want that scale.
posted by DU at 10:20 AM on September 5 [+] [!]

We have that scale. I hate it, for it told me truths our old scale had been hiding from me.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 3:44 PM on September 5

I want that scale now, even though I know I would just push it under the dresser with the other, simpler scale and think about getting on it one of these days after I lose some weight. That was a genius impersonation and I guess this is where I say that I do indeed have a TV but I only use it to watch movies in the winter while I'm knitting. This is true except that now that I, years after the rest of the planet, have discovered that I can watch movies on the computer without going downstairs to the scary TV room, well, hell, I'm probably going to be knitting more. Anyone need a hand knitted scale cozy?
posted by mygothlaundry at 4:21 PM on September 5

I was hoping for "We have scales." Ah well.
posted by mendel at 4:25 PM on September 5

I have three televisions. I watch stupid stuff on them (Real Housewives of OC, Clean House, Two and a Half Men reruns). I watch cool stuff on them (30 Rock, The Office, HIMYM, Top Chef). My daughter watches 80s cartoons on them (Scooby Doo, Smurfs, Snorks). My husband watches Top Gear. My cat doesn't watch television.

Over the years, I have seen many interesting and not interesting things on television. Sometimes I do cross-stitch while I watch television. Sometimes I drink beers. Sometimes I eat pretzels. Sometimes television is boring and I change the channel. Sometimes that doesn't help and I find something else to do.

My televisions are like the three bears. One is quite large, one is medium, and one is small. I never watch the small one because it is in the guest room for my mother-in-law to watch while she visits. The medium one is in my bedroom, and I watch it when I am folding laundry or laying around in my bed. The large one is in the living room, and I watch it when I am making dinner or sitting on my sofa.
posted by jeoc at 5:40 PM on September 5

Early Asimov! Killing!
posted by GuyZero at 7:49 PM on September 5

Can't believe they didn't go with jessadmin. Too obvious?
posted by ODiV at 9:22 PM on September 5 [1 favorite]

Today's Sony ad is pretty good too.
posted by turgid dahlia at 6:08 PM on September 6