Ask Metafilter relationship questions that are 25+ paragraphs long, which is a more and more frequently seen problem, never go well. How about putting wording to that effect on the Ask Mefi posting page
Where it says:
Please try to include all relevant details such as your location, operating system, gender or contact information. If you would like people to give you recommendations, include a bit about your preferences.
How about adding something there to this effect:
If your post is especially long, try taking a look at whether there's anything you can remove and yet still leave just what's needed to properly answer your question. The more succinct your question is, the more input you're likely to receive.