He will be the next Dread Pirate Roberts

July 28, 2010 10:40 AM

Everyone's favorite Robocop and Banjo's baby boy was born today!
posted by zizzle to MetaFilter-Related at 10:40 AM (118 comments total)

And so we shall refer to him as Robobaby, right? (Robobaby banjobumpers)
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 10:43 AM on July 28, 2010 [31 favorites]

We are TOTALLY referring to him as RoboBaby BanjoBumpers. Tes.
posted by KathrynT at 10:44 AM on July 28, 2010 [10 favorites]

Oh, yay! Congratulations!
posted by JoanArkham at 10:45 AM on July 28, 2010

Congradulamations!
posted by deborah at 10:46 AM on July 28, 2010

Can I have the honor of buying Robobaby Banjobumper his first beer? Or am I too late?

Congrats to you both!

(also, since I don't know the backstory, is this a Metafilter baby or did Mr. Is Bleeding and Ms. The Pork meet back in the real word, before Metafilter?)
posted by bondcliff at 10:48 AM on July 28, 2010

Hooray hooray!
posted by shakespeherian at 10:49 AM on July 28, 2010

Mazel tov!
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:52 AM on July 28, 2010

there's a real world outside of Metafilter?

Oh, I mean, congratulations and welcome to Robobaby Banjobumper!
posted by desjardins at 10:52 AM on July 28, 2010

Woohoo! Congratulations! Get some rest whenever you can, don't read the autism and baby development threads, and enjoy your little guy.
posted by misha at 10:55 AM on July 28, 2010

Someone better register Robobaby Banjobumper an account quick before someone takes it as their sockpuppet.
posted by Think_Long at 10:55 AM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yay! Congrats!

Wait... was it born in Salem? Not to get hypervigilant or anything, but has the baby been checked for horns, hooves and tails? Did it fly out on a broom? You can't get too careful in eldritch parts.
posted by Kattullus at 10:55 AM on July 28, 2010

Yay! Congratulations!
posted by rtha at 10:56 AM on July 28, 2010

Mazel tov!
posted by yhbc at 10:57 AM on July 28, 2010

Pics or it didn't happen!
posted by Horace Rumpole at 10:57 AM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

What is this "baby" thing of which you speak? Is this something I would have to leave my computer to find out about...?
posted by OneMonkeysUncle at 11:05 AM on July 28, 2010

is this a Metafilter baby

You need to remember to invite ALL the Metafilter spirits to the baby's Enspousening to bestow favorites otherwise they may curse the Robobaby to fall into a active, outdoorsy vigor at the touch of a scroll-wheel
posted by The Whelk at 11:06 AM on July 28, 2010 [8 favorites]

Congratulations! I feel like we should get together and send Robobaby a custom "The Wheel" as a welcome to the Meta-world!
posted by Diagonalize at 11:07 AM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Robocop is breeding.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:10 AM on July 28, 2010 [77 favorites]

Congratulations! Babies are awesome.
posted by Mister_A at 11:11 AM on July 28, 2010

Pictures or it didn't happen!

(congrats!!!)
posted by emilyd22222 at 11:12 AM on July 28, 2010

there's a real world outside of Metafilter?

Someone once made a thread about it but they were immediately banned; the thread was deleted by Cortex with the reason "Nothing to see here, move along. I SAID MOVE ALONG."
posted by bondcliff at 11:13 AM on July 28, 2010 [4 favorites]

Congratulations!
posted by heyho at 11:13 AM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations! Happy birthday to the Robo-Banjo Baby!
posted by Elsa at 11:18 AM on July 28, 2010

He will be the next Dread Pirate Roberts

I'm not sure that's really your position to give away now, is it?


Also, congrats!
posted by inigo2 at 11:18 AM on July 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

Now that I’m a husband and father, I’m nearing the same stage my parents where in when they first brought home The Wheel. I know now how damaging The Wheel can be, so there’s no way I’m letting something like that in my home. Being worried about the right praise/punishment response is one thing, but limiting those responses to a simple spin of a ten-option wheel is not the right answer. Life is much more complex than A, B, C, or Ds, especially now when you consider the algorithms and random number generators we have available to us. My “Wheel” will be a computer program, likely a Palm applet for ease of portability, and I think it will truly solve all my family’s problems before they even begin. I’ve been in touch with Dr. Adler, who is retired now, and he’s working on a more modern, viable Parenting Matrix.

--robocop is bleeding
posted by logicpunk at 11:18 AM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Huzzah! Congrats!
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:21 AM on July 28, 2010

Woohoo! Congrats! Glad all involved are doing well.
posted by rmd1023 at 11:26 AM on July 28, 2010

Unfortunately I couldn't find any pictures of a banjo-playing baby Robocop, but the best I could do was find Banjo baby and Robocop on a unicorn. Congrats on your new cybernetic bacon baby!
posted by filthy light thief at 11:31 AM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Thanks for all the good thoughts, folks! It's been quite the experience, going from Monday's "go in to the hospital for observation" to Tuesday's induction to Wednesday's baby. He's three weeks early, being as prompt as his mom and dad, having arrived on the first day of counting as 'fullterm'.

I've put up some pics in my flickr stream linked on my profile.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:31 AM on July 28, 2010 [5 favorites]

Pics or it didn't happen!

Ahem. (and video!)

Congrats!
posted by mrgrimm at 11:33 AM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Congratulations!!!!
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 11:33 AM on July 28, 2010

Although I admit I wish he was a bit more punctual. Partially so Banjo could have skipped being in a hospital bed for 36 hours, but mainly so Westley would share a birthday with Gary Gygax.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:34 AM on July 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

Congrats! Mine's 14 months now. It goes by fast (even though parts aren't fast enough - sleeping, self-feeding, all those little victories). Take pictures. Take videos. Take time to stare at the little guy and think how lucky you are to be able to help shape and mold his little mind to help him be the best person he can be. Watch him develop from a lil' pink slug into an actual person with a personality and wants and needs and desires. It's the best and most important thing you'll ever get the chance to do. No pressure now. There. Just look at him. He has no idea what is in store, does he? Don't warp his mind too early, but by god pass on your sense of humor. We need more of that in the world.
posted by caution live frogs at 11:34 AM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Yeah! Congratulations and Happy Birthday to RoboBaby BanjoBumpers!
posted by DiscourseMarker at 11:35 AM on July 28, 2010

I've put up some pics in my flickr stream

Babies come with hats.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 11:35 AM on July 28, 2010 [5 favorites]

Congrats!
posted by .kobayashi. at 11:36 AM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations!
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:38 AM on July 28, 2010

Hey cool, congrats you two!
posted by soplerfo at 11:44 AM on July 28, 2010

YAY! Congrats and welcome to the Parent Club!

(FWIW my middle kid was born right at the "Okay, we can call this full term." mark too. He was 6lbs. 10 oz. and had to have oxygen for about 5 hours. Not only is he perfectly healthy now he's also incredibly advanced academically. And he's huge. At 7 he's bigger than most 9 year olds. Just in case you were worried about your little guy coming early.)
posted by TooFewShoes at 11:44 AM on July 28, 2010

Babies come with hats.

Little known fact, babies are capable of knitting right out of the womb. Over time they lose that ability and have to relearn it at a later age. Much like swimming.
posted by backseatpilot at 11:47 AM on July 28, 2010 [7 favorites]

Yay he is the cutes!!!!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:47 AM on July 28, 2010

Yay! Congratulations!
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 11:56 AM on July 28, 2010

Enjoy that PBR, and congrats!
posted by Jorus at 11:57 AM on July 28, 2010

Mine's 14 months now. It goes by fast...

On the other hand, the first 3 months are an eternity. Hang in there, pal. SLEEP now.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:02 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yay! Say goodbye to sleep and free time!
posted by Artw at 12:06 PM on July 28, 2010

Congrats!

And let me be the first to suggest "Danger" as a middle name... because RoboBaby Danger BanjoBumpers is a lot of fun to say.
posted by quin at 12:22 PM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Rad! Now train him in the Gentle Art Of Trollery!
posted by Greg Nog at 12:37 PM on July 28, 2010

Wonderful news, congratulations!
posted by gaspode at 12:38 PM on July 28, 2010

"RoboBaby BanjoBumpers" is even harder to say than "rubber baby buggy bumpers." Adding "Danger" helps a bit, but what really rolls off the tongue is "RoboBaby Bacon BanjoBumpers."

Anyway, congratulations!
posted by EvaDestruction at 12:44 PM on July 28, 2010

Yay! Congratulations!
posted by sveskemus at 12:53 PM on July 28, 2010

wow. beautiful robobaby banjobumpers! congrats to mama, papa, & babby!
posted by msconduct at 12:53 PM on July 28, 2010

Am I really going to be the first to point out they named the baby Westley? My dear sweet Westley?
posted by msali at 1:14 PM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

take out the T and you'd have to start his vampire-hunting training now.
posted by The Whelk at 1:16 PM on July 28, 2010

The expression ray you're looking for is WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
posted by Jofus at 1:20 PM on July 28, 2010

msali, I was thinking about it, but I couldn't remember if it was Wesley or Westley and I'm too lazy to go over to IMDB.

Anyway, robocop, cute kid and all, but you might want to change your t-shirt, that color will keep him up at night.
posted by desjardins at 1:21 PM on July 28, 2010

Yay! Congratulations!
posted by jamaro at 1:23 PM on July 28, 2010

SQUEEE! I was gonna make a MeTa too!

robocop, I think my last message to you might have read as ominous and I want to make sure you know I meant "you have no idea" like you have no idea how AMAAAAAAZING it is. I thought I read everything/ planned for everything before cav junior showed up-- it's just a totally different world. A wonderful, anxious, nerve wracking, beautiful, endearing, heartfelt, overjoyous, sleep deprived, blissful world. Mazel tov!!!!
posted by cavalier at 1:27 PM on July 28, 2010

Also, it's too late for sleep! Ha ha! Meconium time! As Ashley Burch says "ENJOY THE POOP!"
posted by cavalier at 1:28 PM on July 28, 2010

I've put up some pics in my flickr stream linked on my profile.

Madface! Everyone go look at the pic titled "Madface" if you're having a bad day.
posted by cranberrymonger at 1:29 PM on July 28, 2010

Excellent work, man. I'll drink some roadwater tonight for the little guy. That kid is going to be ridiculous talented.
posted by absalom at 1:32 PM on July 28, 2010

These next few months, he will seem to be a size larger than the night before, most every morning. I think this period of rapid growth and change was an influence on the mediæval "changeling" myths. Anyway, it's really fun!
posted by Mister_A at 1:36 PM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations.

Any ideas on how many metafilter babies there are?
As in: babies in existence because their parents met throught metafilter.
posted by joost de vries at 1:39 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

How many MetaBabbies is formed, then?
posted by Mister_A at 1:54 PM on July 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

Just watched the vid. He is SOOOOOOOO adorable !! Congratulations !!

Welcome to the world RoboBaby BanjoBumpers !!
posted by marsha56 at 2:16 PM on July 28, 2010

Yay! Babies are awesome! Especially a robobaby. Does he have super strength? X-ray vision? An arsenal of weapons located in his feet? I envision an Astroboy kind of baby, only way cuter. Congratulations to you all!
posted by cooker girl at 2:19 PM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations! Enjoy the wierd and sweet attenuation of time that comes with his infancy. Days and nights never seemed so seamless and elastic as during our son's first months of life.
posted by Verdant at 2:28 PM on July 28, 2010

Do me a favor and tell the little blob that DR says "Welcome to planet Earth! I really hope you enjoy your stay here."

Since everyone has already congratulated you on the kid, let me just say that I only now saw The Wheel for the first time. Amazing. I think I need my brain removed -- you broke it.
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:48 PM on July 28, 2010

Hurrah! Congratulations to you both, and welcome to the world, RoboBaby BanjoBumpers!
posted by questionsandanchors at 2:53 PM on July 28, 2010

To quote Dan Kois: "Babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies. Babies babies babies babies babies-babies babies, babies babies babies babies. Babies babies babies babies, babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies. Babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies Babies Babies babies babies babies babies, babies babies babies babies babies, babies babies babies Babies babies Babies Babies babies babies babies Babies Babies babies babies. Babies babies babies babies babies, babies babies babies Babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies babies, babies babies babies babies babies babies."

Babies!
posted by ocherdraco at 2:54 PM on July 28, 2010

Yay!
posted by brundlefly at 3:09 PM on July 28, 2010

And so we shall refer to him as Robobaby, right?

THE BABY IS, WAS, AND WILL ETERNALLY AND ACROSS THE MULTIVERSE BE KNOWN AS:

ED-209.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:12 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Lovely news. Metafilter needs more infants, fewer babies!
posted by fourcheesemac at 3:21 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Top notch baby, you guys. Well done!
posted by padraigin at 3:30 PM on July 28, 2010

Hey, congratulations! Little Robobaby Banjobumpers has to be one of the luckiest kids in the world. He'll never lack at storytime, certainly.
posted by Caduceus at 3:37 PM on July 28, 2010

We are TOTALLY referring to him as RoboBaby BanjoBumpers.

Baby's First Screen Name!

Congrats to the family.
posted by zennie at 3:37 PM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations!
posted by Songdog at 3:41 PM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations!
posted by gomichild at 4:21 PM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations! He is absolutely adorable.
posted by lilac girl at 4:49 PM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 5:49 PM on July 28, 2010

Mazeltov!
posted by clever sheep at 6:14 PM on July 28, 2010

Whoooo! Baby! Congrats!
posted by mygothlaundry at 6:36 PM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations!
posted by cobwebberies at 6:39 PM on July 28, 2010

congratulations!
posted by Wuggie Norple at 6:47 PM on July 28, 2010

hooray!
posted by moxiedoll at 6:50 PM on July 28, 2010

He's ADORABLE! Congratulations!!!!!
posted by zarq at 7:14 PM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations!
posted by box at 7:44 PM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations folks :)
posted by doctor_negative at 7:44 PM on July 28, 2010

Whoa, good work!
posted by ignignokt at 9:26 PM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations! And now, time in all of its flavors will take on a much different meaning in your life. There's "I wasn't a parent back then!" and there's "I can't believe x amount of time has passed!" and "It'll be forever until time y comes around!" And it's all really neat. Plus having a kid, while tough, is one of the bestest things evar.

My son turned 15 yesterday. Happy birthday Robobaby Banjoporklet!
posted by not_on_display at 9:49 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh, for fuck's sake. Now A Winner Is Me will never get updated again. Thanks, asshole. Way to have a kid or whatever.
posted by shmegegge at 11:01 PM on July 28, 2010

Congratulations! This thread is giving me unexplainable, unexpected warm fuzzies on a harsh day.
posted by Mitheral at 12:08 AM on July 29, 2010

I hope the wheel treats him kindly. CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:19 AM on July 29, 2010

Yay!
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:40 AM on July 29, 2010

Can I have the honor of buying Robobaby Banjobumper his first beer? Or am I too late?

Um sorry. I live in PA and I've already taken him to a Phillies game, where he got a free mini-tazer, instructions on how to projectile vomit (that will come in soooo handy), and a cold bottle of brewski.
posted by iconomy at 7:10 AM on July 29, 2010

Woot!
posted by Pronoiac at 7:55 AM on July 29, 2010

And I second quin's suggestion for "Danger" as a middle name. I know someone who's done this, & she's a budding robot overlord, so it might help you get on her good side early.
posted by Pronoiac at 7:58 AM on July 29, 2010

Hey! Yay!
posted by trip and a half at 8:08 AM on July 29, 2010

Congratulations!
posted by giraffe at 8:21 AM on July 29, 2010

I'll memail you some sleep.
posted by sciurus at 8:39 AM on July 29, 2010

Hooray for you guys! How soon til his first meetup?
posted by explosion at 8:39 AM on July 29, 2010

Congrats! I found this song to be particularly effective during 2:00 a.m. floor walks.

Pirate hat optional.

Enjoy!
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 9:44 AM on July 29, 2010

Now, you know which of the expensive crap people try to sell you is utterly essential and which is completely useless, right?
posted by Artw at 9:45 AM on July 29, 2010

Explosion, Dr.E and I are moving to Robo and Banjo's town soon. I'm hoping to have a meet up in September or October for North Shore Mefites with kids (no kids necessary to come, just at a kid-friendly time with kid friendly things).

Hopefully Robobaby Banjojumpers will consider making an appearance if I manage to make that meet up happen.
posted by zizzle at 10:14 AM on July 29, 2010

North Shore meetup! We thoroughly enjoyed our North Shore (Salem) meetup last time we were in town. Gotta get back up there again, maybe next summer- I love Rockport in the summer.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:56 AM on July 29, 2010

Yay, baby!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:43 PM on July 29, 2010

Congrats!
posted by darth_tedious at 3:16 PM on July 29, 2010

With enough lead time (and assuming West has not driven me insane) I can brew up a keg of beer for a North Shore meetup.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:02 PM on July 29, 2010

Remember, robocop, at the end of every day: "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."
posted by allkindsoftime at 4:13 AM on July 30, 2010 [4 favorites]

Congratulations!
posted by iamkimiam at 2:54 PM on July 30, 2010

Had some time to take a Very Special Picture for Metafilter today.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:07 AM on August 2, 2010 [7 favorites]

It's like a halo. He seems Buddha-like, asleep, there.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:36 AM on August 2, 2010

ZOMG. Here's hoping he doesn't take after Shelly.
posted by allkindsoftime at 8:12 AM on August 2, 2010

Can I just say that I love that you're calling him West? SO AWESOME.
posted by ocherdraco at 8:41 AM on August 2, 2010

Can I just say that I love that you're calling him West? SO AWESOME

Just don't tell my wife what it means, upon Westley waking up from a nap, I intone "West, Reanimated."
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:16 PM on August 2, 2010 [2 favorites]

Good lord, that's a cute baby.
posted by heyho at 2:13 PM on August 4, 2010

Your baby is very cute. I agree with Devil's Rancher--it does look like he's wearing a halo. Aww!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:22 AM on August 5, 2010

I wish to confirm for all that Robobaby Banjobumpers is real and that I saw him in person today. He was very sleepy, but also adorable.
posted by zizzle at 2:09 PM on August 6, 2010

that is an adorable baby. LOOK AT THAT PICTURE. IT'S LIKE A FULLY FUNCTIONAL HUMAN BUT MUCH MUCH SMALLER!
posted by rmd1023 at 10:32 AM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]