Concurrent His and Hers AskMe questions

November 2, 2010 10:54 PM

Concurrent His and Hers AskMe questions. Has this ever happened before? Will it end well?
posted by AmbroseChapel to MetaFilter-Related at 10:54 PM (35 comments total)

What's your problem with the questions? Do you have a problem with the questions? If you do, you should be clear and state it.

If you don't, I'm not sure why there's a post about it.
posted by smoke at 10:58 PM on November 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

They are both looking for help. Presumably they are not the same person and we are not being trolled.

I've no doubt the mods will step in if it's needed. Do you think it's needed? If so, flag it and/or send them a memail.
posted by That's Numberwang! at 11:15 PM on November 2, 2010

Well, at least it's a refreshing change from trying to answer RelationshipFilter questions after hearing only one side of the story.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:21 PM on November 2, 2010 [6 favorites]

Potentially I suppose crosstalk between the posts could make things complicated but I don't see anything intrinsically wrong with this. There are two people looking at distinct angles of a pretty conventional and answerable (if not easily resolvable) problem. The related questions seem reasonably likely to generate some useful advice, and if anything it strikes me as helpful if they are both involved and aware of the questions being asked and answered. I don't think it requires further scrutiny.
posted by nanojath at 11:25 PM on November 2, 2010

Your post comes across as; let's chat about these ask.mefi questions.
I don't think this is a good use of metatalk.
posted by joost de vries at 11:37 PM on November 2, 2010 [6 favorites]

I don't feel that we have to talk about people like this in MetaTalk. It belittles their situation.
posted by SpacemanStix at 11:38 PM on November 2, 2010 [3 favorites]

I don't think Ambrose Chapel means any harm, but I do think this is a pretty not-good MeTa.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:43 PM on November 2, 2010

As long as her mother doesn't get an account, there shouldn't be any real trouble with this.

I suppose they could start ambushing each other ("Oh, the poor widdle man can't deal with grad school! Good thing he doesn't have to work all fucking night and day to support a household while someone else idles his time away on a thesis called The Insignificance of Insignificant Signifiers!"), but, however entertaining that might be, it would only be deleted and sadly lost to humanity.
posted by pracowity at 11:47 PM on November 2, 2010 [2 favorites]

wise man once said to me: "steer clear of other people's soap operas."
posted by philip-random at 11:51 PM on November 2, 2010

wise man once said to me, "steer clear of other people's soap operas."
posted by philip-random at 11:52 PM on November 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

internet echo once said to me, "steer clear of other people's soap operas."
posted by salvia at 11:54 PM on November 2, 2010 [3 favorites]

As I once told philip-random, "steer clear of other people's soap operas."
posted by klarck at 12:02 AM on November 3, 2010 [32 favorites]

"Soap random wise people's steers, Phillip," echoed me once at the opera.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:12 AM on November 3, 2010 [19 favorites]

It's the next media trend: reality blogging.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:19 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

"So, poor and um why spee pulse tears, Fill up," achood Beonce Ethopia.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 12:27 AM on November 3, 2010

Aside from the obvious novelty, there is nothing worth noting here. Both questions are legitimate. So are both of the profiles. This seems to me like something you'd discuss with a friend who also reads MeFi, or maybe message someone about. Not worth its own thread, that's for sure.
posted by seagull.apollo at 12:56 AM on November 3, 2010

If nothing else it will be an interesting case-study in "what would the other side of this question look like" for Ask Mefi historians to consider.
posted by malapropist at 1:06 AM on November 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

I don't think any question benefits from a meta spotlight. These even less so.
posted by cjorgensen at 1:07 AM on November 3, 2010

I think it's an outrage, heinous abuse of the site and the pair of them should be banned immediately and permanently. Well, not really, but otherwise I'd have to join philip-random's chorus of reasoned advice.
posted by Abiezer at 1:09 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

OMG my husband and I are totally going to start solving all our marital problems like this.
posted by Jacqueline at 1:28 AM on November 3, 2010 [5 favorites]

Phillip," echoed me once at the opera

all my daydreams are disasters
posted by philip-random at 1:41 AM on November 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

disasters disasters disasters disasters disasters
posted by taz at 1:51 AM on November 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

I had a mozzarella and tomato baguette this morning for breakfast. The pesto on it was not so good.

If the local bakery where I bought it had a mefi account, I would use this forum to call them out on it.

Alas, they don't.
posted by chillmost at 2:09 AM on November 3, 2010

Well, I'd like to call jonmc out for hijacking chillmost's account.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:24 AM on November 3, 2010 [4 favorites]

had a mozzarella and tomato baguette this morning for breakfast. The pesto on it was not so good

No, it's not good to eat any more, dump it.
posted by Namlit at 3:18 AM on November 3, 2010

DTMTB. Sure, that's always the answer, isn't it Metafilter? Sometimes I think some of you have never loved a sandwich before.
posted by taz at 3:35 AM on November 3, 2010

(I just googled the lyrics to Bryan Adams' Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman? in order to construct some kind of "witty" reply to the comment above, and dear god, I couldn't even bring myself to post a parody of that on here.)

(Carry on)
posted by thoughtless at 3:51 AM on November 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

Heh, my first (sort of, not so much) call out.

So, I asked the first question in the throws of a panic attack at 1am or so. I figured, I had a quesiton, I could probably get some advice that I could either use later, or maybe even at that moment, so I went with it. I know a lot of my questions are on a similar (and hopefully not so annoying) vein, but the help I've gotten over the spread of them has been great, as was this question.

Terriniski woke up, saw that I was a tired mess, and got really concerned. We'd had these conversations before, and she's really unsure as to how to help me deal with this. She saw a lot of suggestions in the other thread of me asking her to help me, and she wondered, as did I (in the light of day), if there was anything she could have done to help at that point. Hence, the question. If I remember correctly, she passed out right after she posted, so I don't think she's had the chance to peruse answers in her thread yet.

I didn't see it so much as two sides of the same question (as this isn't the typical relationshipilter he said/she said), but sort of her perspective on a situation that I'm dealing with. Both threads have a great answers for both of us, from a lot of perspectives.

I don't think she keeps an eye on Meta, but I may let her know this popped up.
posted by SNWidget at 3:56 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Not the same thing really, but it puts me in mind of one of my favorite bits of MeFi history: The "asked by the wife at home, answered by the husband at work using the same account" question (and subsequent MeTa).
posted by Rock Steady at 5:00 AM on November 3, 2010

There was one a few years ago with some guy asking questions about customizing his car, then his wife or girlfriend asking about how to deal with a guy who doesn't have a job and wants to spend all their money on his car. That did not end well, if I recall. I think the guy was threatening to meet someone at a store and duke it out and everyone got banned.
posted by TedW at 5:43 AM on November 3, 2010

There was one a few years ago with some guy asking questions about customizing his car, then his wife or girlfriend asking about how to deal with a guy who doesn't have a job and wants to spend all their money on his car.

That was the the epic tale of fr0zen and xteraco.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:52 AM on November 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Did this really need to posted? Seems more like gawking instead of bringing up a legitimate site problem.
posted by nomadicink at 6:03 AM on November 3, 2010

Seems more like gawking instead of bringing up a legitimate site problem.

I can see that point, but the thread ricochet biscuit linked (that was the one I was thinking of) does bring up a couple of things users should know. First, think really long and hard about asking relationship questions anonymously, especially if your SO is also a member. Secondly, deleted askmes may not be visible to the causal observer but can still be found with a little effort, so think twice about asking sensitive or embarassing questions. (My rule of thumb for anything internet related, including email, is to not put anything out there that I would not want my wife, mother, boss, or (eventually) daughter to see.)
posted by TedW at 6:24 AM on November 3, 2010

I was talking about this MeTa post, not ricochet's links
posted by nomadicink at 6:25 AM on November 3, 2010

There have been every once in a while concurrent questions that were obviously from two folks involved in the same general situation. It's a natural result of people having connections (everywhere from the acquaintance/coworker level to the partner/spouse level) outside of the site. It's not a problem if there's nothing else weird going on with the posting, and this seems very much like a Not A Problem case.

I'm generally agreed that this isn't a great idea for a metatalk if only because (a) it throws a spotlight on an otherwise not-site-business situation in a way that feels a bit unfair to the askers and (b) invites speculation about drama which we really don't need any more of. That said, I imagine this is wasn't posted with any ill intent and I do get that it's a slightly interesting phenomenon in a trivia sense, AmbroseChapel. Just maybe not the best way to scratch that trivia itch.

SNWidget, I'm glad you're apparently not too bothered by this, hope Terrinski feels likewise, but since you haven't done anything wrong and there aren't any obvious policy issues to discuss I think I'll just close this up.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:28 AM on November 3, 2010