It's so funny to me to see that post pop up on MetaTalk as one that stuck with Jessamyn.posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:52 AM on April 15, 2011 [83 favorites]
Because, seriously, the generosity and support and kindness in those answers absolutely changed my life.
I meant to just write a quick update. You know, "Everything’s good now, mkay bye!'' but somehow it turned into an epic. Read on!
When I posted the original question, I was in a really, really bad place. Aside from the long-standing body misery, what's not stated in the post is that I'd contracted a serious illness that left me unable to work.
After Mr Anonymous and I met in person, as well as the great stuff, things were really, really hard. I had to give up my job and move thousands of kilometres away to live with my parents. (Still thousands of kilometres away from Mr Anonymous, just in a different direction!) In the end, I didn't go back to work for almost a year. I was so broke and sick and miserable. And about a week after we met, Mr Anonymous’s mother died AND he then a couple of months later he was diagnosed with a chronic, and potentially fatal illness. It just couldn't get much worse.
The thing was, somehow, despite being thousands of kilometres apart in different states, and having only just met, we supported each other through it all. He such deep reserves of kindness and generosity, even while he was grieving his mother and the life he thought he'd have before he was diagnosed.
I just couldn't imagine anyone treating me better than Mr Anonymous treated me. And whenever we were together everything just seemed to go... well. Just well. You know? It always worked out. No matter what happened we could talk about it. And I liked him more the more I knew him. Unlike previous boyfriends who I kind of liked less and less the more I got to know them!
After 18 months long distance, I moved another 2000km across the country to live with him. It was a MASSIVE gamble. I'm very career driven and there are limited opportunities in my field in his town. Actually, there are limited opportunities here in any field except the specific technical field Mr Anonymous works in. Which is booming! For a heap of really good reasons he genuinely wasn’t able to leave the town. To say I was driven and career oriented is an understatement on par with saying Attila the Hun liked a fight. It was just huge to gamble on an uncertain future with him over a long-planned and carefully mapped-out future in my profession. I guess, in the end, I decided that while I loved my career, it didn't love me. (I mean, it's not a person, how could it?!) Whereas I loved Mr Anonymous. And he loved me, and showed it every day.
So I made this huge leap of faith. And he did too, to have me move in with him! He'd never had a long term relationship, never mind a live-in girlfriend! It's nearly a year since I moved and he is still the bee’s knees and the cat's pyjamas and the... I don't know, panda's paws. I love him so much. And he tells me every day that he loves me and acts like it too. Moving to be with him is the best thing I ever did.
It's been really hard adjusting to the tiny town (no shops, no cafes, no galleries, no bookstores, no movies, thank god for the Interwebs) and the change of career and he's never, ever once made me feel bad for finding it hard. He has just been the best, most supportive, most awesome boyfriend ever.
Right now, I'm finally feeling pretty good about the town and work. (I always felt good about him.) I won't bore you with the details, but I fluked a great job in a slightly different field. Both our health problems are so much better. We made some big diet and lifestyle changes together which have been hugely beneficial for both of us. I don’t think either of us would have been motivated/committed enough to do that on our own.
Last night after dinner, he was teasing me, being all “You’ll make someone a good wife one day’’ because I’d cooked. And I was all, “O REALLY. Who?” And he went all bashful and said: “Me, I hope’’.
And I never would have met him if it hadn’t been for AskMe. For reals. I would’ve talked myself out of it because I was so convinced of my unloveableness.
Thank you Metafilter, from the bottom of my heart.
xox
Ms Anonymous
I might be generalising a touch there...
posted by Admira at 7:16 PM on April 5, 2011 [2 favorites]